Too sexy for your shirt…

Not being funny anything…( I do love being a Brit. Whenever, we state that we’re not going to be funny or anything….we’re always about to be highly insulting, yet we warn you before hand out of sheer dear politeness. We’re an odd breed. We have our pens chained down to counters in banks. However, the cold hard cashola flies around freely without care.) Anyway, i have a cuppa tea. I’m having my hair Glamour Pussy groomed. I’m being tanned and eyelashed, and having my boobies talked to and i’m wanting to complain about marathon runners. Like i don’t see WHY ANYONE would want to run a marathon?? I really am finding it greatly difficult to see a decent ‘other than charity’ (and even that’s a bit much) reason as to why a ‘being,’ would AT ALL, see a dirty rubbly 26 miles, jizz with excitement, then actually want to run the whole of it…sober!! It humours me deeply. I mean, that’s honestly like an idea you come up with at 2am, when you’re blathered, in hot pink heels, in sheer drunken jest, under the stars that ‘ safety net’ all party kitties. (Well it kinda only ‘nets’ the hot ones. The rest end up with their face in gutters or making out with a fugly fujunga.) I ofcourse, have come up with such an idea in the past, (not making out with a ‘fujunga’…but drunk marathon running.) Yet that’s because i’m the Queen of Greatness and i can’t help that (*hair toss*.) I attempted to run one, there and then, but then i found a liquor store that was still open and selling booze, so i took a U-Turn and found me a better time. I tried to buy vodka, but came out with Champagne and  hidieous memories of everyone in the store mimicking my voice to me. Grown men do it all the time. The women never, because my boobs stare them out. Girls don’t play with this Vixen. *Pout-Wink-Giggle*

Anyway, why bother taking part in a 400 mile, cross country foot race to make you feel like a better human being. I mean especially the people that don’t even compete and do it for a sense of achievement. Hahaha. How dare they!!!! I couldn’t think of anything worse. The only good reasons to even contemplate one is, if you’re drunk, or making money for blind kids, or Cancer cures etc….Then i truely believe you’re a champion. Yet, I think a lot of  celebs, simply do them for a bit of ‘Look at me,’ or publicity. I’m not that stupid. I’ve realized it’s much easier to pose naked. 🙂 (Glamour Glamour puss puss. I’ll see you at the bank, with my wine, you foot race running sweaty mess.)

I’m trying to drink 8 glasses of water today and i’m already failing. I’ve done 2. I’m over it. Hopefully, it will turn into wine and i’ll find it much easier. I don’t think water does much for me, but makes me want to wee. I understand that it rids your body of evil toxins. Yet, i quite enjoy the toxins, of ‘left over last night’  party, stewing in my body, keeping me going, keeping me feisty, making me feel still drunk. Why wash that out…and especially out of you’re Mary Poppins? Dirty!

I’m being groomed and watching music videos, whilst gays pull my hair and tell me i’m beautiful. (How i adore them.) We’re commenting on JL

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