Tits Magee and Hairdos

Woke up faaar too early for a ‘day off.’ My eyes peeled opened at a shcoking 7am, BEFORE my actual pre-prepped work alarm, that I always forget to turn off. Only a proper loser wakes up before their alarm decides to ‘get jiggy.’ I’m losing my touch. Luckily, i rolled over…in an ungainly preggo fashion and poked Pete’s eyes until he woke up. Pete’s ace because he’ll NEVER grumble at me. All he said was that he was finding it rather difficult to open his eyes…therefore i was mean to him until he did. He did….and the world between our sheets was a better place. 🙂 Heelllooo hormones! nice to meet cha!

I’m all ready to trolley off to Doncaster today. I’m getting my weave put in. My hair ‘did’..for the big of ‘labour’ of love that i’m going to be tending to shortly. I’ve already begun a more nutritious diet of ‘healthy-healthy.’ I can’t wait to be a mum and i can’t wait to get into fighting fit kitty cat shape. I mean, pulease. I want to be the most amazing role model to her ever….i can’t do that in fuschia joggers and bad hair. How will she ever respect me?

Today is all about being delicious. Most of my friends are skint and at that hilarious stage where you consider putting yourself up for medical experiments, or selling your sperm, eggs, or body for a bit of dough. Others are tending to wasting all their time on ‘quick fix’ methods of income and the final bunch are just moaning really. Lol. Oh!? Infact, one believes that he’s going to stuff a million envelopes a day for cash?

I remember going through a skint stage in Hollywood. The land of dreams and all that good stuff. Luckily, i learnt to do it the better way and date movie stars, richer people and then get my bare boobs out in magazines for money. 🙂 That’s how tragic i used to be. I guess it’s part of growing up in tinsel town. Now, i’m in the position where i actually have everything in life, pretty much under control and in the correct manner. I get to be bouji and everything…through my own hard work. Who’d a though???  Bizarre feeling to not be stumbling around, with my giant hair, too much lippy and silver dimante heels, whilst tripping over pavements of false hope…and my own dignity. however the rubbish part of being the girl now on the other side of the line, is simply the fact that the darlings who are in the position that I once was see me as prey. Big juicy ‘lotto’ pay. (Not mentioning any names ‘JONNY.’) It’s funny really the old cycle of life. I can finally be me and underneath it all, i discovered that i really am quite a champion. *Confetti shower.*

Can’t wait to see my mum today! Can’t wait to get my hair ‘did.’ Pete’s trying to tell me road directions that I care ntohing at all about and dollies i adore you. (I love that a boy I work with actually called his mate who he went on holiday with and said this, ‘Hey…y’know that girl i shagged on holiday ages ago. That one from Doncaster who we called Tits Magee. D’ya know her real name because Chrissie’s the same age as her, from the same place and might know her?’ ) Then my other friend immediately claimed that his natural charm was..‘Date Rape.’ AWFUL! 🙂 I need better friends….submit pictures. (Note: I ONLY know slaggy boys. Not slaggy girls. And simply because they are of no use to me…unless i’m reaaaaly drunk on tequila. A proper pimp would always monitor his OWN ‘Little Black Book.‘ )

Life is delicious! I wanna be ‘Tits Magee.’

2 thoughts on “Tits Magee and Hairdos”

  1. You ARE Delicious, TITS MAGEE! Paris is following me in TwitTown. Would you kindly ask her to email me in regards to a fitness product endorsement? I am moving to LA this week. Email addy: ajfab1@yahoo.com. Ty kindly and keep writing for you have a captive audience for life. TWEET ME! ;^}

    Reply

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