Now i’m a hot blooded woman, with a gift of the bedroom eyes, a tender touch of the ‘naughty’ and if you’re gonna push all the incorrect buttons, my arm with lift, my eyes will slant, I’ll sip my cocktail, have a mouthful of rice, then Karate chop your ego until you can no longer ‘bastard’ your way through this thing we call ‘life.’ Then ofcourse i’ll wink, smile and tell you ‘I love you’ and we’re all beable to put on our party hats, hold hands and sing nursery fucking rhymes all day long. It’s quite pathetic junvenile behaviour really, but it’s always worked for me, therefore i use it as my ‘old faithful.’ (sizzle.) Let’s all stop uneccessary twattish behaviour, (i include myself inthat catergory.) Lets take off our tops and spoon until
Sunday. (I’m currently listenning to ‘Red Blooded Woman’ by Kylie, with wine, whilst blowing smoke into a smoke alarm to see if it’s works?? I have people over for ‘merriment.’ They’re about as merry as a pair of donkey’s balls! Time for shots & dancing boys me thinks!!) I hate being the funnest person in the room. It makes me look all mentally ill. There is this one odd one (thank the lord for her) who’s going on about putting a Mars bar in her ‘Whoop-dee,’ so it tastes like chocolate for her lover. This is not Wednesday night behaviour. Like why would you want to make like your vagina did a poo?? Things are meant to taste like chicken, not brown nougat. I’m frowning at her with disgust. But then i’ll probably want that Mars bar for later. Lol
Other than that i have a lot going on right now, work-wise. (Woo-hoo!) When i get my head around it all, i will blog it all for your hungry eyes. Like i said before, i can’t believe what is happenning to me, therefore i’m needing to absorb the madness and find me a sumo…pronto. I’m also getting done for ‘swearing.’ Not being funny or anything but I like a bit of a ‘swear!’ Like i said, ‘It makes good times better.’ Lick it before you kick it. I’m not NOT swearing…i refuse! I shall stand by my crude language, feel up your dads, then bow with a ‘Greatness’ sign launched above my head. It’s banter, it’s funny. There’s swear words in the English Oxford Dictionary right?? Is there? Well fuck that, they’re sure as hell in the Urban Dictionary and that’s the only dictionary that matters! It is the work of a genius…or a druggie. Whocares..it tickles my fancy. You’re not a better person because you don’t swear. Infact i think it’s more odd for you to watch me accidental set someone on fire, and not go ‘FUCK!!’
I’m reading this book that proves men have been shits for years. Don’t worry about it girls. It’s fine. They come around in the end. (And i am meaning ‘come’ around in ‘your end.’ As you’re quite foolish to believe that they ever grow up and refrain from annoying us Pusses of Glamour.) Notice how our lady part is named after a cute and cuddly domestic pet. And their ‘sometimes bends over to the left’ Mr.Man part, (aren’t they funny those ones..giggle giggle) is often in conjuction with idiotic behaviour. (DICKhead…KNOBend.) I love men. I do. Every kind of them. But i wish they would quit bugging me when i quite obviously, have better things to be doing. When i need you. I will tell you and then you will come. Before that time…chillax and let me live my tragic life (in diamonds) alone. I have my utter jiggery pokery to smear all over this world. It’s weird? They come unannounced and aimlessly stand around for no reason, pretending that they don’t care, when really their heart is pounding through their chest. Then they get all huffy because they’re not getting my 100% undivided attention. At least be useful and open my wine bottles, lift my luggage, fix my computer or get in my bed. My sheets are still warm. You might aswell get comfy. Purrr…
Ps/ I am still going to answer all ur questions that you sent in. I was actually expecting about 5, but i recieved something a bit more like 555. Therefore i’m thumbing through them and i’ll get back to you in a jiffy my darlings.