The Weekend..Part 1

OMG! I have had the best weekend of McParty, McEver. I do actually have a lot of work i have to do today in order to catch up to Monday, but i’m living a life of good old ‘fun times,’ and well…i’m the happiest little sequined, slanted eyed, floozey this world could ever really wish to care for. Got in at 4.40am last night, and had a drunk flash his ‘nubbin’ at my window, then get questioned by the police. LOL. It doesn’t get much better than that really. Apart from the fact that i already have a hand written letter of complaint, from a neighbour, that was subtley celotaped to my door, for ‘ashing’ on things. Hahahaha… All they basically said was,’it’s just not very nice is it, to have things flung or ashed downwards’ at their window. Tomorrow, i’m keeping  it sexy and not only continuing to ‘ash’ (in her garden, which really is just a dust bin) but also fling a fucking sumo wrestler and a couple of horny fucking midgets down there too. Eww…why are they being cunts! I don’t need a letter. Just stop me and bloody TELL me. How dare they ‘letter’ their way out of a Wunna confrontation. Hahahah… I think i should send them a signed picture of me ashing on all their shit.

Okay, Saturday night, i ended up going for a couple 2 for one drinks at The Borough bar in London bridge. I went for after work office drinks, with an office i don’t work at to meet a friend of mine, who likes fondling Peacocks, drinks like a fish and came 3rd in the Irish X-factor (LMAO.) We got pretty sozzled and fast then taxied it over to shoreditch, to start off at the ‘Hoxton Bar.’ OMG! How good is amazing is shoreditch for a night out!! I can’t tell whether it was truely fucking brilliant, or whether it was because there were 3 hot italian guys &  i was quite the popular little Dandy, that made me like it. (Attention Whore alert!!) I got pulled and pictured with and forced to have drunken phone conversations with peoples Mothers & Gay brothers and well all i can say is..if i met you that sexy night, you have FUCKING GREAT taste in BBF’s. Thankyou very very much. I loved you all. The bad thing about the night was that i called ‘Lashes’ who’s not feeling The Wunna so much anymore, and well when he answered the phone, all he heard was ‘clubbing,’ Me drunk and a boy who was shouting ‘YOUR BIRD is FUCKING HOT!! I’m gonna BONE her tonight,’ at him down the phone. Nice touch. Yeah, he hung up.  (Hahahaha…) It’s not gonna be going too much further, me thinks. Plus do i care about him, as much as I care for my ex? Well I know the answer to that question…I think everyone, including the parties involved do. Got a cab home at 2am, that night, and was so drunk i puked into my toilet bowl, then passed out, in my dress, half on/half off on my bed, with my shoe dangling off one foot. Whoopee!! London Fashion week rocks. If your not being sick, you’re really not feeling it appropriately. I’m sure those models puke on a daily anyhow, right? I really was just being 100% commited to the theme. (Apart from the fact that i had chips in curry sauce afterward…like a fat bitch.)

Anyway, yesterday was a spontaneously GREAT day. I was having a ‘lazy,’ recovering and napping, and trying to glue together the pieces of my tragic soul. Then i guess across a few streets but in the same town, little Jonny was in bed watching a movie in the middle of the day, due to boredom, and since he only does that at night, he got confused and thought it was night, then accidently fell asleep. (Aww…) He bbm’s me, and luckily he did, as i probably wouldn’t have gotten out of bed otherwise. (Kittens need their sleep.) And we find ourselves, on the phone to each other, on opposite sides of the Camden High street (by the Bridge), we meet, we hug, we peck, we saunter along the busy pavement, getting free chocolate/banana smoothie shots by a hippie, and into one of our favourite places (Drum roll please…) ‘Nandos!!’

Now i love Jonny, but don’t get me wrong we can both be bitches to each other and we have fought the fight, to keep our rapport a sailing merrily. But recently, we’ve been getting a long really fucking well. Maybe coz i live here now, or we know each other better? Who knows??  But we banter, we make fun of each other, he wants to be a ‘Sugarbabe’ ( i roll my overly eyelashed eyes) and we eat half chicken n chips and guzzle beer at Nandos. We’ve eaten everywhere. It’s what we do, share life over food and try not to wind each other up in the process. Plus, he needs me in his life so he can actually eat. Yet there’s been a lot more ‘good times,’ than ‘storming off’s’ recently…well apart from the other night at ‘Souk,’ when i claimed he was no longer a part of my life, yet called him the next morning at 9am, like nothing had happened. ( God bless Me.)

Anyway, we eat, then we go on a walk at that sexy time of day, when it’s not actually day, however not really night yet. It was warm, it was lovely evening, and god did we meet some crazies. I’m fond of the crazies, so it’s always good. The streets were littered with drunks, and homeless people, who follow us on our walk, comment on the way one of us looks, and tells us how great we are. It’s a good combination. One dude calimed Jonny needed to be a ‘Cage fighter’ in order to ‘protect something like that.’ (Meaning me. I like how i’m a ‘that.’) Oh and because i was ‘Paing??’ Then 2 other drunks, who again referred to me as ‘how did u get one of those’, decided to compliment our little jon on his body…mid walk and demanded to know if he had a 6 pack and whether he was a serial killer.

We then decide, it’s an alright night, and we really didn’t have anything better to do, but each other, so we went to Ku Bar for ‘one’ drink, before it got busy. No-one fun was there yet, apart form the dreamy gay bartenders, so we ended up having to watch part of X-factor upstairs in the bar, which didn’t really impress too much. After 3 drinks,we got bored and left…now not even feeling a night out, as we taxied back to Camden. He wanted to practice singing and i wanted to go back to bed, so i could feel myself up a little more, under my sheets and talk dirty to myself. (Ugh, someone is swearing at my window.)

The day had ended…so i thought. Then he calls me at 11pm, and with a ‘What you doing?I’m really fucking bored. I wanna go out now, just get ready and don’t be long.’ I find myself bussing it the tube station, in a sequined pink dress, to meet him. We meet, we jump in a cab…to be continued…..