The Jolly Old ‘Green Light’


What a morning!!! However, instead of boring you with the whole, ‘I’m preggo, i’m fluey, i’m tired, i’m bored…# jiggery pokery, as i’m sure you’re all as sick of it, as I am. Plus, there’s only so much of a pity party one can throw in order to gain the correct amount of sympathy. I’ve decided to tell you all about the jolly old ‘Green light.’ (Then i’ll moan on about my life for you…just because I can’t help myself.)

SO, if you’re a girl and you’re a yummy girl, be it because you’re hot, rich, beautiful, sexy, successful, famous, sweet, intelligent…or anything that could terrify a man into asking you out. YOU MUST perform the Wunna ‘GreenLight’ theory. I found that when I was at my peak of yumminess…be it my Hollywood time, or my telly time, or my ‘when i was hot’ time…a lot of men fumbled around me like silly thumby, ‘didn’t know what to do or say to me’ beings, out of utter fear. They would sort of perform an act of how they believed I would want them to be, instead of just being themsleves and they di that because their insecurity had certainly made them believe that I would not one bit desire their feeble natural selves. Not true. But I get it. I’ve been on both sides. The side where I am the one int he glory light and the side where the boy in question has intimidated me, due to his giant bank balance, stature of fame or..well it seems they’re the only things that terrify me. Anything else, I reckon and because i’m an ego maniac and because my track record has pretty much proved so, I can get easily..without fear. I was saying. Men are not good at hitting on women. They forget to go with their strong foot forward and well it takes them a lot of nerve to see a girl that they really truly adore and actually have the balls to hit on them. In order to make them realize that you like them…you need to make them feel comfortable. In order to make them feel comfortable…you need to give him the ‘Green light.’ (I’m only saying this because I watched a scene of ‘Real Housewives…’ last night, where Kim met her future NFL husband Kroy. She fancied him, wanted to ‘forever’ score him, knew he may be intimidated because she’s a confident lady (there’s nothing wrong with knowing that you’re sexy) and well after he performed and she had made it clear to everyone around her how much she fancied him (you have to do that, you seal your target, meaning he is off bounds to anyone else,) she went to meet him backstage and as soon as she saw him she congratulated him (glorify men and they will always eat out of your hands,) immediately told him how great his performance was (massage their ego that little bit more…it works)  and then playfully explained (meaning she’s fun,) that it was SO great because he had the ‘best ass’ she had ‘EVER SEEN.’ Bingo. Green light.

She cleverly flirted without being too obvious, yet without being too shy or slaggy and sort of like she was the one of worth….she was the one being filmed… she was’ the star’ and’ the star’ liked HIM. He should be grateful.. Well done! PLUS, she looked to DIE FOR SEXY. No matter what men love that. Women can hate on it all they want. But all men love sexy. They can’t help it. They are visual creatures. She was all classy, boobs, tan, big blond hair and wink..and she knew she was hot. Yet sort of played it deliciously, without presenting ego OR BEING TOO HUMBLE. Humility is over rated.

half an hour later, when she was sat at her table and he had finished doing his ‘thank you’ rounds, he sauntered up to the table, all blushy but macho, sat down net to her, infront of her friends (always a good move, girls like everyone to know that they are adored) and gave her his card with all of his contact details on. All he said was ‘I just wanted to drop off my details for you, incase you ever wanted to give me a call to come to a Falcons (the team that he plays for) game.’ SCORE! THEN, she kept the control by immediately not playing hard to get and saying, ‘Here’s my number, give me a call and we’ll go out for a drink sometime.’ Meaning she broke down the barrier, secured him with an ‘i’m 100% interested and then turned a ‘come watch me work’ date, into a more casual lets not make this about work but about love date. Well done girly!

When she was asked if she thought he would call..and know that this guy makes millions, he’s an American Football player….but her confidence and the fact that she was on a TV show and she was stunning, made her mighty, almost more mighty, he was blushing…she replied with a smile and a ‘OF COURSE HE’LL CALL. WOULDN’T YOU.’ 🙂 I like it. It’s highly important for women to play the game correctly and do it sexily, with an edge of class, confidence and sass. So many of you get it wrong.

I mean you can do the ‘Green light’ without it being to such a big scale. For example when I met Keiran, on the first day he began working at the gym that I was working at at the time. I walked in…I already knew I fancied him. I already knew I wanted him and I already knew he was my next ‘forever.’ 🙂 (Well my total forever.)

I walked into the office. I looked good that day. I knew that he fancied me, as he had already told me that I was beautiful and I could tell in his eyes…and as I walked out of the office, after completing my work, I looked directly at him and said, ‘FINALLY, WE HAVE A BIT OF EYE CANDY IN THE OFFICE.’  , incase he was scared to approach me or was umming or arring about it. I didn’t give him chance to get scared or rethink it all. As soon as he was thinking ‘ah she’s hot,’ I was in there with the ‘Green light.’ Youneed to baby step them into these things in order to speed up the process.

That day, later on around lunch, when one of our other work colleagues was going on about some other boy that liked me at the time and we were bicker-bantering, about god knows what? I stated that I enjoyed going on dates and straight away, Keiran saw his opportunity and seized it (after the previous ‘Green light’ with an ‘I’ll take you out on a date.’ Immediately i agreed and just like that our fairytale began. He dated me that day, romanced me better than any man could. I never ‘put out’ and after 5 weeks he asked me to marry me. (I had ‘put out’ by then by the way. 🙂 I do think you need to try the goods before you marry them.

So regardless…I mean Keiran’s not one to be scared of asking a girl out at all, but incase they might feel intimidated you sort of have to make sure they feel comfortable enough to make the move. Before him, I was pretty much unobtainable and not at all an easy pull. I expect a lot from a man. Especially one that’s going to be my ‘forever.’ So, i’m used to picking carefully and putting out the first and very forward ‘come to mama’ without being a slag., Young girls get it wrong….they think the sluttier you are the more men are going to adore you. NO. Not when it comes to picking a husband. At this point I had had my fun, I had just had a baby, I was stable and needed a proper fully grown ‘forever’ man.

Therefore don’t be afraid to put yourself out there properly. I mean, I watch girls get it wrong and as a girl i’ve got it wrong on many occasions, yet because I’m so well practiced, I now have it down. BOOYAH-WIGGLE. Plus, I practiced on really worthy men. The big old Hollywood ones, who oozed success and well…Oscars. 🙂

Do know that if you’re too friendly or too playful with your approach, men won’t take your advances seriously. They’ll think you’re just messing. Know that if you’re already an aquaintance and you’ve drunkenly bonked…it’s much harder to snag a ‘forever’ out of the guy, because you’ve already established your relationship with one another and it’s not one built on romance. It’s one built on ‘sort of’ friendship and drinking. n outside girl will and can always come and pull his interest away from you and you’ll get the ‘you’re like a sister’ line. (A sister that he bonks? )

I’m always really direct. i tell men on the first date exactly what I want, expect and what I’m not going to put up with. I mean told Keiran straight away and well we talked about marriage and well he just looked at me and said, ‘So am I officially off the market then?’ And I said, ‘Yes.’ Done! Easy. No messing. No negotiations, just attraction, love, commitment and ‘forever.’ Otherwise it would be a waste of my time. I’m not one for going around bonking strangers for self esteem nor am I in a search to snag a temporary Mr. Right. Cut the bullshit out and get to the loving. Present yourself right and well if you don’t have genuine intentions, meaning you’ve presented yourself in a manner that isn’t really you, or doesn’t represent what you want (i’ve been there too) then it won’t last..and you will have wasted your time. Even if it goes well in the beginning.

Love lecture complete.

Anyway back to my moaning. I still can’t fully hear. I have a couple of appointments to book in., Ruby has been up since 6am wanting to watch TLC on my phone and well even though she was an angel this morning, the flu is making me less patient. It took ages to get sorted this morning. On route to nursery, we were completely fine. I remember feeling stressed though. I think in these last few weeks i just need to relax. I’m getting more and more stressed and need a pamper. The flu has made my last leg of preggosness shit. I even said to Keiran (who I have noticed has left his dinner plate from yesterday afternoon just on the floor in the office expecting me to wash it up. I’m not a housewife. I’m a worker. I hate the art of domestic goddess…well until he’s made enough money to be able to keep me as a housewife and we aren’t even nearly there yet. So until then, I’m free to money make and enjoy being ‘The Wunna.’) Anyway, yeah, got distracted, yesterday, before I went to bed, I told him to remind me how much I didn’t enjoy being pregnant, if I ever talk about babies again in the future. (‘Remind me how fat, ill and miserable I was babe, so I remember not to do it again.’ 🙂 ) I was never this way with Rubes. I spent so much of my time working, meaning I wasn’t bored and pampering, meaning I felt deliciously happy.)

He laughed, but because we were both tired we both started to wind each other up. He started going on like he was some Godly King who was in complete control of his entire little family. (I don’t think so.) Once i’m back at work and free of pregnancy, things will be really different. I usually do better than the boy that i’m in a relationship with. He rambled on about how no-one (including myself) was allowed to take his new son anywhere without his permission. I told him that he kicked off when I said that about Ruby. He had the audacity to tell me that that was different because I don’t care about Ruby. AS IF. I care about Ruby more than I care about him. So, if there’s a order, he would further down the list to her. Plus, it’s different because he’s step daddy to Ruby and Junior is his own. Yet what he’s forgetting is that I single parent Rubes (with lots of help) and well WE BOTH parent ‘the new bump,’…not just him because neither of us are single parents this time around. He needs lessons on how to talk to a pregnant lady.

He was just tired, so he was annoying me and going on about how he does everything. (Right now, he actually doesn’t. I do everything. I look after Ruby, I cook, I clean, I pay the bills,  I run the errands and tend to my career. He leaves plates on the floor and works for himself…oh and does golf.)  I walked out the room stating that I will be doing whatever I want and without his permission. Plus, he would’nt even be around, so he can’t control something from a distance. (He has to go back to work as soon as the baby is born, which doesn’t bother me, because i automatically then become the ‘lead parent.’ 🙂 ) Last night Keiran was so proud of himself because and this is his exact quote, ‘For 10 whole months now I’ve been good and done nothing wrong. Just worked hard and come home.’ I enjoy that he has made the effort to count the months where’s he’s actually been ‘good.’ There has been a great improvement in him, as to be honest he was going down DOWN hill, during 2011…especially in the months before the wedding….I couldn’t have spent the rest of my life with that man. He had far too many problems for my liking. But I believed that he would come around…it wasn’t easy on me, or him at all…but he did. THANK THE GOOD LORD.

But on the whole, we’re happy. I’m chilling a lot more today because yesterday I was al over the place. It shattered me out so much that I was found asleep on the sofa, without me even knowing I had fallen asleep. I probably had my mouth open and everything. Sexy!

I need a break, so I’m glad that we’re going on holiday in 6 days. Back to the forest we venture, but like I said with almost the entire ‘Thompson family.’ It’ll be nice. But i’m just gonna chill and spend time with Rubes as there is no way in hell I am going to tempt fate in the woods and give birth.

I think i need to stuff my face today. I deserve it and i’m apparently not taking in enough calories. Thank God I have a tan though. I’m still getting a spray down tomorrow, but nothing feels better than a orange spray down when preggo. I feel alive once more.

Right, I need to call the hairdressers and the dentist. Must go!

Love you all. Very grateful that you’re still reading this.


ps/ Practice your ‘Green light’ game Ladies.






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