Got woken up this morning by a poke! (oh-er) I hated it, as i was in a Hawaiian dreamland, about to get a massage in the most beautiful hotel, laid on the most sensational beach, buying gentlemans cologne and with my ex-mother in law…which i admit is a bit odd. Anyway, i was in eternal bliss until the ‘poke’ and the ‘Chrissie do you want me to do the litter tray?’ ( ‘Do’ the litter tray?? Well if ya into that sort of thing, you dirty little monkey!)
Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE everybody. It’s all finally kicking in. I actually believe Christmas is happenning and i’m all fun loving, excited and well a bit of an idiot really! I’m spending all the ‘hoo-harr’ with my family, instead of going out and getting trollied. We’re all so close, that i want to cherish every single moment i have with them. Plus, i never really got to spend Xmas with them in the last 5 years, as i was swinging from penis to penis in Hollywood (LOVE IT) or uncomfortable smiling over turkey, at well…whoever i was dating at the time’s family, pretending to be his ‘Happy Ending.’ (Me no likey!) It’s so much more fun at home!!! LA’s shit at Christmas time, it’s dead.
It’s my ex-husband ‘Mikey’s’ birthday today. So maybe that’s why he was in my dream? So i’ll call him later and leave him a birthday message that he’ll probably secretly appreciate, yet never admit. We’re not close now at all. I do need to call ‘Latin Lover’ as i’ve been such an arse with him recently, but it’s just because i’m so fucking frustrated with the whole situation. I’m going nuts and the only nuts i like are the ones roll around your mouth and end with stained bed sheets.
Anyway, it’s Christmas Eve! YAY! So i hope you’re all excited. I’m wishing you the most magical memories that Xmas can bring. I love you all and hope Santa comes down your chimmney!! (wink, wink, purrr….) Thanx for all your support! I love you! Especially the ones that are secretly camping in my back garden and having a wanky. I mean If you’re gonna do that, then make yourself bloody useful and get it in the plants. I hear it helps them grow! (Wink)