The Buddha Palm

The Buddha Palm is when someone of Oriental descent ‘Palm’s’ your ‘Private’ area. I claim to have invented the term (like i did Mexican Blow Job.) Yet for some reason, the bloke sitting next to me is under the false impression that he did. It’s the term i use for ‘inappropriately’ touching someone, or myself…since i am Oriental. It kind works for me a little better. So I don’t know how he thinks he’s invented it??? I luckily can ‘Buddha Palm’ myself anytime I so wish…and i do, quite joyfully. (Stop the booing…it’s a healthy for you.) So the next time you get felt up by a slanted eye, oriental too can join the ‘Buddha Palming’ club. Make it a religious experience. (I think i just made masturbation sound like a Kung Fu move.) YES!

Just got off the phone to my newish friend Kat, who you’ll get to know a lot more later. We had a good old chinny chin-wag about all kinds of secrets, discussed why that i can’t run becuase my height and by boobs don’t work as one and then slagged off her Mum. (haha.) Anyway, she’s great and she’s…..sewing a sailor suit.

Anyway, we’re about 6 hours away from it being the Grand Old 2009. I have the champers ready and I get to do the ‘Happy New Year’ speech a great deal of times, as my friends all bomb into ’09’ eight hours after Me. (Woo-hoo!) Sounds great, yet after the third phone call…i really can’t be arsed anymore. God, i’m such a self centred twat! I’m like ‘My moments over, so why do i have to celebrate yours!! ‘ Greatness! Shut up… I was raised by a nanny.

So…CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM is about to get spicier. It’s about to get naughtier. It’s about to thunder it’s way through the barriers of ‘comfort.’ I’ll be opening myself up (not like that you dirty tarts…well maybe, it’s not like i haven’t before) and spilling it the way it should be spilt. I’ve noticed that i’m a lot more popular in Hollywood, than i am over here in the Motherland. (Apart from the boys…you have all been quite gracious! Lol…) You folks in Britain don’t love me as much. Yet you bred me!! Therefore, the old Chrissie Wunna jiggery pokery is about to begin…which means i’m basically gonna FORCE you to love me. (She puts on her heels, and starts kicking up dust!!) 5 1/2 hours to go….

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