The beginning of the end of the week

Woke up this morning to a friend who believes it’s not at all rude to shove a cylinder of toilet roll in my face, the minute i open my eyes. Was my face crying? NO! Was my face doing a poo? No! She simply (dear friend,) wanted me to smell my own bog roll and because it was delightfully scented! (OMG Chrissie! Even you’re toilet roll smells delicious. Can i keep it?’)

I did find all this pokery quite charming and cute. Therefore with a smile i gave my Queenly nod of approval and she danced around the room like i’d just given her a piece of bread. (She’s on a  diet. A low carb one. We all have a friend who’s on a low carb diet. Yet my friend, goes into my kitchen and stuffs her face with Marks & Spencers biscuits & wonders why her diet isn’t working. I actually think i saw her licking a chunk of raw meat.)

I will tell you that, yes…i am amazing and feeling deliciously GREATNESS this fine morning of Wednesday. I’m slowly catching up on my sleep, so now i’m not all grumbly and *tragic.* There is nothing better than NOT having to train down to London to wake up at 4am and place on a pair of stockings for entertainment. I feel wonderful and because i’m back to chilling and doing one of the only things i love and that (My kittens) is…this…my blog. When i’ve been away getting distracted by nonsense, my time seem to become so scheduled up that my blog, my life, my everything was getting neglected. My blog is my therapy. If i’m not venting it all out, i’m twisting it all in. Twisting inward just isn’t my thing. I’m an outward shimmie girl! If you do not express your emotions…you will become a completely miserable force of self destruction. Be it good. Be it bad. Let it out! (I do mine shirtless. You can too. *Wink-Pout-Hair toss-Wiggle.*)

In that paragraph, what i did want to tell you, was that my delightfully scented toilet roll, actually smells like rose petals and skittles, in one. (I KNOW!!!) It’s like a rosey-candy smell of yum yum and it is the most superior toilet roll in all of the land. If you’re really not using it, then you’re not really a glamour puss. I’ll let you all smell it, but i’ve given it to my low carbed friend who’s finally dandied off to her own house. I’m a great host. But i can’t deal with people who are carb free and hormonal. I’m the no diet Kitty Queen. I love my curves and can’t bare to see someone starve.

Girls..when you learn that boys love curves..you will be happy. I mean we all have those days when we look in the mirror and think we’re ugly, or chubby, or not hot enough, or simply just plain. Even to this day, i feel that way on the odd, lonely occasion ans usually when i feel that way,it’s when something has happened to me in my love life or work life. It’s more an internal pain, then external.

The trick is to just work what you’ve got and confidentally. Behappy about it and CELEBRATE IT. (I say that all the time, but only because you kinda need a reminder.)  I find beauty in everyone, be them plain, dollified, surgeried, or natural. Your personality and ‘Ooh laa’ count! It makes a GIANT difference. Sometimes very pretty people forget to develop a delicious personality, because htey are guarneteed some kind of attention for merely existing. Yet at the same time, people who do not regard themselves as beautiful or sexy, forget to *show off* their personality, due to lack of confindence and that too is just as bad. Be brave. Don’t take yourself seriously. But most of all have fun! Play with life! Keep that mind a cheeky! *Giggles.*

Now, i get a lot of flack for strutting around all glamour pussy, in diamonds, and heels, all a *pout* and a *winky.* But i’m celebrating ME and fun, and who i am. I love life and being Chrissie Wunna! I love people! But i will tell you that I really am one of the best people i know. I’m really good friends with myself. I’m confident, fun, cheeky, and loving. I’ll open my arms (and legs 🙂 ) to everyone and anyone, warm heartedly…even if they’re about to screw me over. (And not the good kind.) When you enjoy you’re own company, you can spread the joy to others. People like that person because they associate them with fun, laughter and happiness. Remember that Dollies! There is nothing wrong with loving who you are and rejoicing it to the world!

I’ve actaulyl just read that previous blog i wrote about Loverboy and cringing. LMAO! God, i’m a twat at times. Yes, we have made up and we’re back in a mode i like to refer to as *cuddley-buddley.* I called him last night (I’m soft, i know, but i love him.) It really was the best thing to do, because we got straight back to how we are,which is romantic and loving and gigglyand happy. With a tiny, ‘over the phone’ eskimo nose rub. ( I do that to him quite a lot.) Followed by a cutsie screw up on my face. We glided upward back to cloud 9, where we flew down from and as he apologised.. ( I never did. Hahah. Got away with it much!)..I realised how happy i was.

I mean i’m now going to have someone to *kiss* under fireworks and eat candied apples with on Bonfire night. I’m now gonna have someone to dress up for on Halloween. (I love that i was a Sparrow last year. A fucking sparrow. *Mental case.*) But most importantly, i’m gonna have a ‘lovely’ to spend a magical Christmas with and *smoochie* under the mistletoe. We’ll celebrate the art of gift giving, stocking filling and love. Awww…. It’s my FAVOURITE TIME OF YEAR! Ugh, i wish it was Christmas NOW! (Plus, i have a Crimbo birthday bitches!)

My life is a changing so fast, along with the seasons. This year has been a year of the BIGGEST immediate changes! You will all hear about all of that jiggery pokery later. But right now, just enjoy being you and kinda being YOU, in JULY! Time is such a weird thing. It’s an illusion. It’s a structure that has been placed on this earth for us to navigate our way through life in an orderly fashion. I hate time. It makes us panic and stress and feel like we’re not doing well enough for a certain month, year, time, or age. I never wear a watch. I only wear watches (if i so wish) for decoration and honestly never for time telling.

You can have anything you want at ANY time. Age does not matter. It’s just how you decide to use your life and mind that matters. I mean i hear little boys and girls stressing because they’re never gonna make it in showbusiness because they’re now 23 and i LAUGH. It shows me how little they know about the world, life and entertainment. It’s just an excuse they use in order to massage over the fact that they might not have tried hard enough. I know plenty of people who have made it BIG and not oneof those people ever said that! They ALWAYS knew they were going to make it no matter what. I also found that they didn’t waste time thinking about their age, and put their time to better use…which was working on their craft!

I love you. Oh go on… like…Forever.

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