God, my toes are killing from wearing shit shoes. All i’ve learnt about wearing shit shoes is that not only do they make your toes
*ouchy* as you Bimbo along to the merry music of your existance. Yet they also *trip* you into your next life chapter. When *tripping* turns into actual FALLING instead of simply being used as a term for ghetto anger…then you’re fucked. How you *strut* informs the world of your Greatness! Real Glamour Pusses work ‘it.’ Infact i’ve actually committed a kitty cat crime…as a true little jewel of ‘Le Puss’ would NEVER admit to having sore feet from her choice in footwear. The only time complaining is permitted is in the rare occasion that your tiny bit of ‘problemo’ cannot be fixed via the delicious art of cocktailing.
I haven’t been able to blog in a few days and well really because Loverboy forgot to pay the internet bill. I tantrumed. Boy did i tantrum. There were feathers and fuss everywhere there were, I tells ya! Then in the end i simply decided to pay it myself, whilst screaming at my ‘Handsome’ on the motorway, squashed in the back of a tiny grey and orange B
SM car. It was hilarious. The lady on the other end of the phone had to hear me sternly voice numbers at her…at the same time as me informing Pete he was a ‘TWAT!!!’
Were all good now, but only after a very merry ride on a rather bumpy emotional rollercoaster. It’s been difficult and the stress of my work schedule and our newborn really decided to get the better of us. Im terribly hormonal right now, that i’m almost impressive. I’m awful when i’m mad, because I use the viscious weapon of ‘home truths.’ There was yelling, shouting, my Mum getting involved (lol…a little asian lady getting involved always humours me.) One moment i’d forgive him and be all rosy calm. Then all of a sudden he’d again be all useless..a steamy glitter of anger would *mist* from my vagina and that was it. I’d be ON ONE!!! I think i was even * karate chopping * the air at one point. 🙂 (Only the hottest floozies Karate Chop in heels.) I’m 5ft 3 and full of feist and the most stubborn person you’ll ever meet. Yet weirdly at the same time the most flexible person you’ll ever meet?
It finally all came to a ‘finally saw sense’ calm. When i found myself knelt on the floor, crying by a stack of popadoms, going on about how much he had hurt my feelings and how i just simply couldn’t go on with all this jiggery pokery! LMAO. (Ever the Drama Queen.) Then, the following day and after he had moved a mattress into the living room, with a blanket so I could have a better nights sleep…i guess I was being ‘shouty‘ about the internet bill and telling him how irresponsible he was being. I found him quietly sat on the black leather love seat, slouched down and glaring straight forward? I went to sit down by him and then found that tiny little tears were trickling from his eyes, that he was trying to hide. Immediately I *jumped* out of my *mist* put my arm around him. Kissed his forehead with a Motherly calm. I looked at him and smiled. He looked at Me and smiled. We tried to be mad at each other one more time. (We’re not quitters. 🙂 ) However then we burst into a ‘try not to giggle’ giggle. How ridiculous are we!!! From that moment…we were back to our fairytale! I do love us! (I’m mental right now due to Wunna Land being all go-go-go. Yet because im doing better than Loverboy financially…he fcurrently feels less of a man.) The most important thing is..we adore each other. We made up with wine and snuggles! (My life is not an easy one. It’s even harder if you’re my other half. But I have a great one..and now that it’s on it’s way to being figured out, we’re headed for flashy greatness. )
Okay, away from all that and the fact that my two photo options given to me by Twitter today, when I tried to link it to my Facebook fanpage was Me… basking in my utter Glamour Pussy glory…or a Gnome. A fucking GNOME! Like where did that even come from?? Then I took a peeky at what people had searched in order to find my site and one of the merry searches was ‘Arab Pussy?’ What on earth is going on here? 🙂 I mean who Googles anything other than Leopard print, Chrissie Wunna, or Themselves???? Get with it much!
I’ve had a good day on the whole. Great weather. Worked all day. Got a bit bored really and time decided to resist the ‘kill.‘ Everytime i looked at the clock..it seemed to always be on 3.36pm. Thank God blond people with boobies like a ‘Pop Up’ book, decided to come and entertain me for a short while, before telling me that i’d just been a massive bitch, due to an accidental, hair-toss and saunter out without saying goodbye to a girl who is really good at sums. (‘What!?! I’m great at those moments! I get carried away and forget my manners. I blame my eyelashes. They get to fluttering and then i’m filled with pointless excitement. We then walked by bin bags and then through body buliders in lycra. Life really can’t be too bad after all. It’s not everyday you get to see rats and boners in the space of 3 minutes. She was counting.’)
I’m really busy right now in life. I’ve pretty much almost done my book. I will need to shoot for it. I’m enjoying my day job, yet would prefer a few more days off. I’m going to London to wink and discuss my reality telly future, with producers who adore me. Ruby is probably the cutest little 8 week old the world has ever seen. I’ve spent a great deal of time shimmi-ing for her, only to have her glare up at me in lemon, with a yellow headband on, that is decorated with JUMBO ‘bigger than her own head PINK flowers and think ‘who the hell are you?‘ (I’m sure her next outfit, should come with a Carmen Miranda style fruit hat and Brazilians. Right now she’s on what we call her ‘fairy ride’..which is basically a human *zooming* her through the air like she’s magic. I LOVE IT!! My life hasn’t at all changed. It’s just become more ..fucking loopy.) I also enjoy that the ‘fruit of my pretty loins’ may have herself a little reality tv career, if all goes well for me at my meeting. It’s hilarious. I mean, she’s Zero years old and doing better than me…sez it all really!
I am finding it hard to juggle everything right now..which is turning me mental on occasion. *Throws plate at you-then winks.* But i’m okay. At least i don’t pretend it’s easy being a career woman and a new mum. Once the book marlarky is finally glittered over with a ‘done’ sign, that will free me up a little. I love that in the entire process of writing it, i’ve had a baby venture out of my vagina, and i’ve had a patch of delicious insanity. I can’t really complain because the stresses that I have piling upon me are smothered in creamy ‘Dreams come true.‘ I’m never one to take all the opportunity i’ve been given for granted. It’s taken me years and a fucking elephant load of rum to get to this position.
I think we’re also moving….(we’ve decided we want the house. Why not? It’s Summer.)
‘You only live once, and if you get it right, once is all you’ll need.’ (Well until @Wazza reminds you that you’re Buddhist..and therefore reincarnated over and over again, granting you loads of chances to ‘Fuck it all up.’ At least i’m clever enough to pick an ace religion. ‘Ah look you’ve ballsed it all up. There u go…try again! )