Taking Over…


After all that boasting and ‘argy-bargy’ God has decided to make me a bit sick. I’ve got early flu signs and i need to a brandy to kick it out my system or just knock me out ’til i’m better. I’ve kindly been offered high dosages of ‘penis-cillin’, by various ‘trust me, i’m a Doctor’s.’ But there’s really not much i could do with a ‘whoop-dee’ right now, but wipe my snotty nose upon it. (I’m a poor excuse for a slut.) I’m at my window, hugging a radiator, watching well people, walk by. I want to spit on them, and shout at them, all topless, like a mad woman. Yet instead, i’m reminder note taking: ‘Party Tour too much. You will get sick.’ I’m so foolish. I’m a 28 yr old, Glamour Puss, now hugging a fucking radiator. (Thing you might not know about me. I hate being cold. I’d rather die burning alive, then in a fucking ice blocked igloo.)

I did want to thankyou for all my messages. I’m thumbing through them now, and getting my ‘reply’ on. Anyone who wants anything signed, send them to me and I will smear my reputation all over them for you, before sending them back. I also just spotted a group of lovelies from Montreal, who have started a Chrissie Wunna Twitter fan page. I have my own Twitter profile under ‘chrissiewunna,‘ but please do follow them at ‘chrissywunnafan‘ as they know EVERYTHING about me, and i’m far to drunk and too busy pouting, winking, and being a ego maniac to remember all the stuff that goes on in my life after a jack daniels. I need them in my life and well I love you guys!!! Montreal rocks!! You sexy lovers!

Also wanted to give a shout out to ‘Futures Community college’ (is that right?) Who study ME (Chrissie Wunna) as their main topic, in Business studies! I love the Chrissie Wunna Quizes. (I will get over myself… but just not yet.) I also love my Wunnerettes, who are now stealing furs off 8 yr olds, to reenact My Facebook Party Pictures. (Hahaha…awww. Delicious! I adore you.) They’re all like, fuck being Doctors & lawyers, I want to be like that drunk ageing sex symbol, of a bitch. I think I want my own doll too, that has a play cigarette with it, and a bottle of champers in it’s hand. Then when you press a random button it screaches: ‘Oh please do kindly fuck off. Like…NOW’

I’m currently reading a condom box, the ones i got for free from gays throwing them at Me, whilst i was dancing to ‘Womanizer’, with the big fat, beer bellied, ugly man on the front of it. Not being funny or anything, but why cast him, as the face of your safe sex campaign?? (Yes I am jealous!) But saying that, it is actually enough to put anyone off being felt up  forever. It kinda works! The inside reads (no joke even):  ‘Enjoy a healthy sex life- use condoms when you fuck.’ What!!!!! Whoever invented this box needs trophies AND to call me, so i can be their new improved slaggy face of purrfection.

Other than that, i have nothing to report, except, i don’t understand why people put ‘LOL’ or ‘Haha’ after things that aren’t funny? They’ll say something awkward like ‘i love you’ (not that that’s awkward..i say it all the time) but then put a ‘LOL’ on the end of it, just incase you don’t love them back. Cracks me up! You can love anyone you want, without having to ‘laugh’ it off, whether they love you back or not. If someone’s gonna dislike you for loving them, then they’re a weirdo, not you. And if you make a sarcastic joke of Greatness, don’t think that you need to put a ‘lol‘ or haha’ at the end of it, to NOT hurt the other party’s feelings because people should really muscle up and understand humour at the expense of others by now…adult humour. Plus the ‘laughing’ it off, takes the egde, the BITE off the ‘ooh laa.’

Got to go now, but do want to say i’m slightly confused by people who don’t like to get touched…and i don’t mean inappropriately, because everyone appreciates a bit of a grope. (But saying that, don’t try and touch me.) It seems lots of weird boys have seriously crazy ‘love’ issues, due to a history of hurt and it’s awful. Makes me sad. I’m an open hearted, warm loving being…and you will get more people loving you correctly, if you are the same. (Wink. Wink.) Trust issues are so last season. (Oh god, ‘Latin Lover’ who sent me a ‘Good Bye forever’ speech, in a moment of amateur dramatics because i wouldn’t do as he said..is now all.. ‘Love me love.’ ) When will you learn….

However yeah…I’m taking over the world, but for now, going back to hugging my radiator before comfort food. Yum! (There’s a woman screaming for her life, outside my appartment, and a car being pulled over by an undercover cop car. Oh the drama. Cuddles anyone? Feel up?)


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