OMG i’ve just spent the last 2 hours locked out of my own appartment, in the cold, after completely losing my keys. I’ve been a bit ill all day, and decided i needed food, so (like ya do) i popped out to my local Chinese joint to find me a bit of ‘yum yum.’ Get back, rummage in my clutch…keys GONE!! After a few moments of the old Wunna coolio….i then had a mild ‘pretend i wasn’t panicking’ ginormous PANIC attack. (I’m good like that!) It was freezing, it was late, it was dark, i was ill..i called all the appropriate people (i’m an independant girl…i can usually sort out most problems with a slicky ease) but yeah NO-one was reachable or really could be bothered to help me. (Which i didn’t like AT ALL. Now i’m a helpful girl. I’ll help anyone with anything, and have done repeatedly. I’m the girl you can count on in a sticky situation and everyone knows that about me.) But yeah even the locksmith couldn’t be arsed to come out and pick a lock, because ‘aaah wait’ it was COLD! (‘Oh that’s okay sir, i’ll just die and get raped by gang members…’.) Hmm…aren’t the Brits nice! If i was in LA right now, i believe i would’ve been helped within seconds. Infact, it’s happened to me before…and i was… by a stranger.
Anyway, I was still all cool about it all, until after i made the 20th phonecall…and still had no help. (Lovely…selfish darlings.) I did what any girl would do at this point and called my mother, but I kinda styled it out. I mean, i don’t like people to know i’m in trouble, when i’m really in trouble and they can’t possibly help. It’s my pride & i’m a lot less ‘Drama Queen’ than you imagine. But I realized i was getting rather stressed and i was imagining having to be out in the cold all night, just on the street until 9am, which is the only time that i could pick up new keys. The sucky part about it was the fact that i could see my appartment, all warm and cosy. Yet couldn’t get in it!! UGH! Kill me! And i’m on my period!!!! It fucking shot me straight back into a flashback moment of the time i was left homeless in New York and once in LA…due to seriously poor choices in men. God it was awful. And yeah, with my lovely bag of spareribs, (that was beginning to annoy me,) my clutch bag, my leopard print fur and a bottle of coke…i FREAKED the fuck OUT! OMG…i went Ape shit! The good thing about going Ape shit, is that you can only calm down after it.