Ooh, i’m a sassy one today! I’m feeling rebellious, cheeky….fun! I’m wanting to be a nuisance, just for the glorious sake off and although it always ends in tears…..I just can’t help myself. If you can’t have a bit of laugh, then what have you got left…but rum? Exactly!
Chicky Mazza: ‘You are far too feisty today Wuns!’
‘Aaron The Pap‘ has already bollocked me for being a ‘Word Thief.‘ Lol.
Aaron: ‘Hahahaha! Sassiness on you at this hour, WORDS THIEF.’
But technically, you can’t teach a girl to COPYRIGHT EVERYTHING, not copyright your own words…and then moan because I stole them.
The words I stole, from his Paparazzi hands…were…
🙂 No one’s swag enough to own those words.
Today. I basically decided to force Lisa (as in ‘Appleton,’) who we know if a really good friend of mine, to have a MASSIVELY GIANT, birthday party, because she turns FIFTY, next month. She’s having surgery, so it will kill her to party, but it’s all about ME really…and I need an excuse to drink more.
I thought it would take me ages to persuade her…(I didn’t, at all, I don’t know why my fingers are typing that… I’m highly persuasive and she loves a good time.)
It took 3 minutes.
It was literally as easy as peeing into a bucket. (Which is you’re a girl, is not that easy at all? Why am I chatting shit? Lol And why do I have this disturbing image of me sitting, doing a wee…on a giant orange bucket???)
Anyway, I won’t rest until she jumps out of a cake…or if we have a Tiki party…a flipping pineapple. Xfactor Liam (Halewood) has suggested that all cocktail sticks are made out of sausages or something? Lol. Oh no, wait? He said pickled onions on sticks and that he likes ‘bangers.’ 😉 (My fingers keep lying.)
But you get it. Today, I’m a cheeky swine of a glamour puss! And I’m loving it.
Rebel me this. Rebel me that!
I met up with another good friend of mine ‘Big A’ yesterday. He owns the High Fashion & Culture Magazine ‘House Of Solo’ and we always have a pint and gossip, usually about our love lives….then we decide to work. We chose ‘Ego’ as our banter hideaway…because it’s basically the closest and I watched him put Issue 7 together…( I like watching people work.) He was deciding if he’s going to shoot Rita Ora and Zayn Malik for the cover. (Hard life.)
We got talking all sorts and I showed him the Tattoo that I have on my inner right arm, that reads…
Me: ‘It’s the last name of a guy in LA. Lol. He was my bestfriend. His last name is March.’
Big A: ‘WTF!’
Me: ‘Anyway, finish off ya story? What were you saying about that drama, cos I think, if a Dude has to reach for PLAN C, then he’s got no hope! What happened to Plan A & Plan B??’
Big A: ‘They didn’t work. It was crazy. How was Spain?’
Me: ‘I’m going to an event on Wednesday evening. Weaves & Waves. I’m waiting the new wig line drop…Love Island, ‘Emma’ is hosting it. It’s in Leeds. Why don’t you come?’
Big A: ‘Yeah, I’ll try to. I’ve got a shoot in London…But…*looks at his phone..* Yeah…I think I can do it.’
Me: ‘Why is *************** ruining everything!’
Big A: ‘I don’t know? He’s being such an idiot.’
Me: ‘It’s because he’s got a fairly new girlfriend and she’ll hate me. It’s flipping WORK. We’re mates! We don’t flipping date!!!’
He worked…I DRANK EVERYTHING! And I couldn’t really tell if I was drinking everything because I was stressed and hormonal, or just wanting to celebrate….ANYTHING?
Anyway, well done to all of you who took my advice and decided not to be dull. Don’t be scared to embrace life and don’t let the art of what other’s think of you destroy your ‘good time.’ They’re doing their own version of life…and just because it’s different to yours, it doesn’t mean it’s better..FOR YOU. I love it when we appreciate the differences in others. I hate when people drivel on about ‘blah.’ (Kinda like I do…for a living. 😉 )
Chick Friend Tiger Stripes: ‘Is your new thing accents? I’m sure all the guys that you’ve fancied over the last few years, have all had accents…’
(I’m calling her ‘Tiger Stripes’ because she didn’t rub in her fake tan very well. 😉 )
Me: ‘I don’t have a *thing,* I just..I don’t know…? I like SOME accents. I like it when they’re going grey a bit. I’m not quite sure I should be trying to preach anything *dating.* But i’m happy right now, with the way life is, so stop trying to make me feel shit. lol’
I guess, love to me is teaming up with a best friend, lover and hero….through the entire ‘thick and thin‘ of it all and still over the years, no matter what, feeling crazy about them every moment of every day. I didn’t get married every time because I was an idiot. I got married every time because I believed in love.
I remember a time when I was really upset,, years ago…but playing it ‘happy’ and my old school friend ‘Wazza’ (who can see through everything and hosts this blog,) stopped me and quietly said, in the middle of his own wedding reception..
‘Don’t worry about it Chrissie. You didn’t do anything wrong. You just trusted him…. and that’s okay because you SHOULD be able to trust your husband. Honestly… I’m picking ya next husband. Lol’
And in that moment, my heart broke into a million pieces, but being me, I smiled, laughed it off and wished him the most beautiful wedding day….
[Oh wait….One of the loveliest bartenders at the bar i’m at right now, has just sauntered up to chat…Once sec…]
Okay! I’m back. he just wanted to know how Spain went! I love it when people *pause* for a bit of banter with me. It’s fun. Most people walk by pretending they haven’t made eye contact with me and then start giggling.
I got this weird message the other day, from a guy, who i’d regard as a friend, because he used to be WITH a really close friend of mine, for years. He’s been really inappropriate and he’ll send me the most bizarrely suggestive messages. He doesn’t care if I ignore him or knock him back (EVERYTIME,) he just keeps going, like it’s all just normal and dandy.
It’s not. I’m a really loyal friend. I just think it’s incredibly wrong. Why do guys do that? I even responded with a…
‘No, I just don’t like you like that mate…’ (And I hate that because it makes me feel rude. But to be honest, he’s being rude…Men are meant to make other women FEEL like a million dollars…not weird and awkward.)
Tiger Stripes: ‘Y’know, you NEED a guy to step in and make YOU feel like a million dollars. I don’t think you’ve ever had that. I think you’ve always looked after men. In fact, I actually think, as sassy as you are, you’re actually too good to them…and they take the piss. I also think you push them away.’
Me: ‘I really need ice in my wine…I’m gonna go ask for ice.. I’m not talking dating with you right now. I can’t concentrate because your tan stripes are confusing me.’
I’ve just got another message from a Wunna Land fan..it reads…
Fan: ‘I want to taste your sweetness..’
It tastes like vodka.
Anyway, i’m off, I can’t be bothered to type anymore. I want my wine. Summer feels like it’s on it’s merry way and that alone makes me happy. I love it warm. If you can’t shake maracas and dance to the beat of bongos. …(In LA, I once climbed an entire wall, in an evening dress, at a house party, simply to reach the bongo players, who were placed in some designer wall cove. They got fired because of me. 🙁 They let me play their bongos.)
…What i’m trying to say is…
JUST HAVE SOME FUN, EH! It’s APRIL!
Tiger Stripes: ‘Are you missing ‘The Swirl.’