Grab ya best nipple tassles and get ya *shimmie* on point!! (Ruby, my daughter, would probably say that.)
It is THE WEEKEND!!(Well, almost.) But it’s important to have a weekend mentality, before it kicks in, because otherwise, you’re not only dull, like the broken custard cream at the bottom of the biscuit tin. You’re also not embracing the excitement, to come and that alone, in Wunna Land…
is a SIN!!
I love Fridays. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I have a Monday to Friday kinda job? I reckon I just enjoy celebrations of any kind. So fuck it. It’s FRIDAY! I’m in. I’m there!
Shake ya…*I’ll let you fill in the blank.*
I’m on rest today, due to my body being on the mend. I know, from my Insta story, it looks like I rest all the time. Hahah. But believe me, they’re just snippets of moments, that are filmed for YOU, either on the spot, but more often than not, FILMED PREVIOUSLY. 😉 A lot of work is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land right now, with the old glammy career and the jazzy business of life.
That is my business…LIFE.
(..ofcourse done glamourously, with a dash of wit and showbusiness.)
There’s telly, there’s modeling, running a company and influencing. Now that the babies are beginning to do their ‘ting,’ it’s doubley busy…But by the end of the month, they should be signing up to an agent, which will take a lot of pressure of MOI!
I have so much to do and I didn’t even have my morning GIN!!
‘It’s not like you to do a morning school run, without a wine in your hand, Chrissie. Haha..’
‘Wow, you parked like shit…’
Lots of you already know from following my ‘socials..’ But recently, there was a Wunna Fan, that wanted to get my attention, so offered up a game of dares, on my insta story, during my daily ‘Ask Me Anything’ thing. I went in all ‘Big Balls’ and dared him to get my initials tattooed upon him…
Yesterday morning, I found out that HE ACTUALLY DID IT. Hahah. I saw a video sitting in my inbox the evening before. I think it was Wednesday. I didn’t dare even look, so I left it until Thursday morning. Lol.
YESTERDAY, was actually a really good day. I felt really fun! I felt really sexy! I felt really appreciated by everyone. My Insta stories are getting really popular now, because i’m being more playful and putting my back into it, a little more.
And as the tale goes, it seems the best thing you can do, is be yourself. I know that sounds cliched. But like I always say, no one in the entire world can do it better. Plus, at 37, I don’t want to be someone who’s always so worried about saying the wrong thing, or censoring the juicy bits, that make me who I am. Some brands don’t like it. Some do.
Therefore, I’m full blown committing to just letting loose and well, knowing what I’m doing. I don’t think people should tell people HOW TO influence something…They already know what works for them, their niche and their audience.
Fuck! I was meant to tell you about the Tattoo guy.
Yes! He wanted to win a date with me…and totally got my INITIALS tattooed on his thumbs!
Chick friend: ‘You literally have the best life…I can’t get my own husband to do the fucking dishes, let alone a stranger TATTOO ME on his thumbs!!’
Hahaha! Love it! Well done, Boy!
So, now I can either go on a date with him, or subject myself to a dare. (One that he has already given to me, as an option.)
I don’t ever learn do I? Fun, just gets the better of me…and that’s it. I’m a swine. But, to me, that’s what life is about. No one does it quite as well. Hahaha. I showed Ruby his tattoo and her face just dropped! 🙂 Junior said…
‘Why is he nuts?’ 🙂
But, I think, it’s amazing. I was talking to my friend Liam about it yesterday. He’s just come off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show. I was doing the school run, with my phone to my ear in the playground, waiting for the kids, as I was telling him.
He was telling me about how he met some guy (he’s gay by the way,) in Bristol, bar labelled ‘OMG…’
Liam: ‘Chrissie, it was called OMG! for fucks sake! I saw this guy, he looked young, had a lip ring, so I ordered a jager bomb to be down with the kids and all that. I had to walk off afterward, because when I kissed him, all his friends cheered and I thought gosh, how young is everyone in here? He wasn’t even my type.’
Chrissie: ‘You need a man…not a kid. I like A MAN. I’ve dated too many, not grown yet…..boys…’
Liam: ‘Put it this way, he wasn’t worth jeopardizing my type for…Hahah. I love you guys, Chrissie…*Well, he’s not really successful and he definitely doesn’t look like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, but he seems lovely…* Hahahah!’
Chrissie: ‘This is why i’m always single…’
Liam: ‘Shit! You have that date next week, don’t you!?!’
And YES, I DO. But i’m not gonna call it a date, because I don’t know him? In fact, like HE first suggested…It’s a ‘Friendly’ meet up. Makes it sound lovely and less intense. You never really know, until you meet them, do you? A personality is KEY to me and it’s something that you can’t hide in person…even when you try to.
Can’t believe i’ve only just caught this clue…Lol.
I’m a personality girl now, in my old age. Lol. Yes, i’m still shallow. 😉 Yes, I LOVE ROMANCE. However, as long as I find them sexy, i’m good. I’m always gonna go on, how well someone treats me. How they make me feel. He’s been great, so far…He’s really humble and really ..decent to me…
(T Bone, IGNORED my last two messages. Cute. Lol. He keeps posting photos on his ‘story’ …of views. I’M A REALLY GOOD VIEW!!!! Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open…ANYTHING! HAHAHA. 🙂 )
Tuesday will be fun! It’s like an adventure and i’ll be heading to Liverpool.
‘The Gent’ (as i’ve been calling him,) has been quite attentive. He sent me a couple voice notes yesterday simply saying that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he and caught me up, with what he did during the day with his son. (Awww.)
All good! Roll on Tuesday.
I’m in Doncaster all day tomorrow with Ruby & Junior…at The Frenchgate Centre. Hopefully, i’ll be seeing you there!
Ps/ Ruby saw a ‘sexy’ photo of me online this morning, by accident. It was just the one I posted this morning on my Instagram…She I only had stockings and a white faux fur on…and she said…
Thank you for following my diary. Be you. Live it! Do you! Be happy!
Today is ace. Sunday is always my favourite day. It’s like a peach and Malibu cocktail, with a tangy thong of ‘ooh.’ There’s a chilled sweetness to it, isn’t there?
I’m feeling wonderful. I’m looking better than I thought. 😉
I can’t remember if I told you? But i’ve been breaking a bad habit? I might have said it on my Insta Story instead? But, without me going into it, because I’m weird like that (lol.) I’m SO open, about everything, all sorts, literally enough to make you blush and call a Doctor. HOWEVER, if I NEED to ‘conquer‘ something personally, that i’m gonna find a bit of a ‘TASK,’ I’ll always do it privately, under my ‘hush hush‘ brolly, like an insecure, oriental pixie.
(I’ll only tell a couple people, who I know won’t nag me about it. I hate ‘naggers.’ I’m too rebellious, once I hear a ‘nag.’ They get me all guns blazing, with my knickers in a tight, diva twist.)
Anyway. I’ve just passed Day 10, of my ‘breaking’ of bad habit & I’m really proud of myself, because I really didn’t think I could even get this far! Haha. FFs.
First Week Smashed. Ping off that bra and shout a Hail Mary!
I’ve said it before, it takes 21 days to break a habit…COLD TURKEY. (Use this when it comes to anything emotional, physical or mental. It’s a game of will power.)
I’m not far off now. So when I get to Thursday Sept 20th… I’ve done it. I’ve hit it. I’ve smacked it’s little booty and winked at it on the ‘naughty step.’
I’m actually going to treat myself after that. Like a reward for conquering a ‘glamour pussy’ demon.
What do they say?
‘Strength doesn’t come from doing what you can already DO! It comes from accomplishing the things, you never imagined you could conquer…’
Something, i’ve done all the way through my life. I always say, i wish you could see into my head and witness, all that i’ve seen all through my life.
(Currently getting a Flashback or riding down the escalator, outside Crunch Gym, on Sunset Blvd, in West Hollywood, with Joseph Fiennes, who was in town to film a movie. I think it was ‘Running with Scissors?’ He had a baseball cap on and was telling me he was Irish? Weird time to flash back THAT moment??)
I was only a 23 year old kid. We’d been flirting for about a day…Lol.
You know what I’m like. I was all a flutter…He just probably thought I was fit…or cute…or whatever? ‘Road Beef’ is what I used to call my LA chick friend Jen. Hahah. (She used to always date these sportsmen. These athletes. These American football players & Baseball Players.)
I’d always date an Actor, or a model…Yet, only because they were the ONLY guys around me, really….
Jen: ‘I’m driving to Anaheim today..I’m gonna go see him. He’s BBM’ed me.’
Me: ‘Haha. Don’t do that! You’re totally Road Beef. Lol’
(Even though I would do the same. I just wear my little heart on my sleeve and I always have. I like that about me though. I’d rather be that, than be incapable of loving. To me, that’s a travesty. A life without true love, is no life at all.)
She’s finally happy, settled (Girls settle down much later in Hollywood) and she’s just had her first gorgeous baby. I’m still…well..probably ‘Road beef’…But with a family…Haha.
I’m headed into a lucky time. A juicy time. A good time of work, excitement and new adventures. You know how much I love an adventure. My spirit is wild. I never want to feel tamed. There’s a lot of opportunity a brewing for us all and it’s making me feel delicious. I have a lot of news and I’ve changed everything around ‘personally,’ for it.
There’s something in the air, in Wunna Land, right now. The babies and I can feel it.
Even Ruby has a glint in her eye…
(She’s like a machine of magic, that girl…She’s grown straight into being….Lil’ Miss.Wunna, I guess? You wouldn’t think, but it’s kinda by accident, because I always encourage the kids, to simply BE THEM. But hey..If the crown fits? 😉 )
I will tell you, that I thought I was gonna have a quiet Sunday of putting my Depop store together. Yet, I got side tracked, because during my ‘Ask Me Anything‘ on Insta…a guy propositioned me to a GAME OF DARES….
I’m up for a dare. Why not? It’s life…
I came straight in…with a…
‘If you get my initials tattooed on you..’(fyi, I don’t know this guy personally, at all..He’s a big Wunna Land Fan and I love that!)
He immediately took the challenge,
‘I’m next in Thursday evening for ink, so I’ll film it being done, then send it to you…’
Then he came back and challenged me…
‘Ok, no problem…But then you’ll have to do my dare…’
If he went through with it….(Do know that it was just banter…I just said it to terrify him…But he wasn’t scared. Lol) I told him he’s win a date, if he did…and he will, if he does…
However, he would have to chose between DATE or Dare.
SO, IT’S ON!!!
I love a challenge. I’m not backing down. If he wins, he’ll WIN A DATE. (Something that as a Wunna Land Fan, he’s requested for months.) If I win, he pretty much said…
We’ll see! Let’s play! I love that he had a sense of adventure. It’s yummy. More guys are scared of me, than they are bold, with me. I like it. There you have it. I’m playing ‘Dares For A Date’ with a Wunna Insta Story Fan.
Makes sense to me! Lol. Yay! SUNDAY!
What did you get up toooooo?
I’ll be seeing ya! I’ve got work to do…
Ps/ Junior got a ‘Special Mention Certificate’ on Friday at school. 😉 Miss. Murphy (who I love,) sent me a message, after reading my blog. (Our babies are in school together…) Her baby son Ray, told her, that Junior got called up for his mini certificate, but was too terrified to walk up and receive it. His best, school buddy friend, saw this and walked him up there, to help him feel bold. Awww! How magical! It melted my heart. It gave him all the confidence he needed. I love Miss. Murphy…He’s like the liquor in your cocktail..Not just the garnish. 😉
Happy Sunday! I’m having a manic weekend of birthday celebrations for my little girl Ruby. We take celebrations really seriously in Wunna land …Meaning, if there’s any excuse to have a good old *knees up*…WE WILL. That’s what life is about!
She’s manage to survive 7 delightful years on this planet, with ME as her Mother, bestie and life guide…and GOSH, I couldn’t love her any more! I cant even describe how I feel. She’s my absolute treasure. And yeah, she’s a bit sassy…But I expect anything that enters the world, via my ‘lady parts’ to have a bit of ‘ooh laa’in their system. I’m surprised she didn’t rock out with a 2 for 1 cocktails in her hand.
…There’s a story to Ruby and her shimmie onto this Earth Ball.
SEVEN YEARS AGO…(It was my daughters actual birthday, yesterday….) I was an itv2 show with Peaches Geldof… being interviewed, because as I had tinkered off the ‘Paris Hiltons BBF’ show a year before…I had fallen pregnant…and I had chosen to be a ‘glammy mammy.’
I can’t remember who was around me or on that show??? But, I do remember that big furry animals, Mark Wright, and Dom Jolly, were also being interviewed.
It was my ACTUAL DUE DATE and ITV had paid for a TAXI to pick me up from my doorstep in Yorkshire and DRIVE ME ALL THE WAY to the studio doors in London, to film. It was a 4 hour journey! They’d been on the phone to me all day, because I kept ‘umming’ and ‘arrring…‘about heading to London.
Me: ‘I don’t know if I can come??? I’m not coming down on the train. What if I go into labour!!!! I’m not having a flipping train baby….’
ITV: ‘We’ll sort this out for you…and when you get to the studio, we’ll have a Doctor right there for you, on set. Everything’s sorted. Your hotel’s booked…We’ll get you here. We’ll look after you…Please come. You don’t have too…But COME. Lol.’
And because they couldn’t have looked after me better and because I’d worked with a lot of them recently…The taxi pulled up outside my home…I was 9 months pregnant and IT WAS MY DUE DATE…(I had already filmed previously…a couple weeks before the show, for the background story) and dressed in a tracksuit…I jumped in the cab and it drove me all the way to ITV in London….
I arrived there an hour before I was due to film and it was all manic and crazy. I was SO WELL LOOKED AFTER, yet there were bright lights, dressing rooms, green rooms, hair, makeup and outfit changes, chats with the producers, greeting with Peaches and everyone rushing around me to make sure I was okay. In fact, everyone kept trying to feed me. Lol
‘Honestly, I’m fine. I feel like i’ve eaten a whole child.’
The rubbish part about it, was the fact that everyone got to enjoy all the booze in the Green Room…and I got to chill and watch everyone have fun.
Emma, who was also on the Hilton BBF show with me, on ITV2, was being interviewed on the show also. She was actually really lovely that night and rubbing my belly with ‘awws.’ But then she came out of her interview a bit narked off…
Ems: ‘They properly ripped me to shreds and it’s not fair. It’s alright for Chrissie, because she can take it and it’s what her brand IS! She’s fun and sassy…BUT they always make me look BAD and desperate and always make HER look good!!!!’
She’s a sensitive soul. Really lovely by nature. Yet, certainly get’s ripped into on interviews.
I was stood back stage, getting mic’ed up with my preggo bump before strutting down a giant catwalk for my interview. They were playing my VT to start egging the audience on…I was quite a controversial character during that time of my life…So you either ADORED ME MADLY, or HATED ME! It was kinda ‘showbiz’ at it’s finest.
They played the VT…I’m being filmed in the ‘Loose Women’ dressing room, i’ve having a spray tan, i’m being interviewed and dancing in front of a big red curtain on a dark lit stage and I’m rambling on about how i’d like to turn ‘just living life’ into a business, via my blog (which firstly I DID and secondly…they heavily promoted for me…) I had filmed all of this previously.
Anyway, the audience got all riled up and as they introduced me for my entrance, some of them CHEERED LOUDLY…and the rest of them BOOOOOOOOOOED, like their lungs couldn’t possibly *boo* anymore. 🙂
A member of the team just looked and me and smiled and showed me my stage entrance…I wet myself laughing and the *boos* looked back at him in a fit of giggles and said,
‘Cheers, you dick. Lol.’
But Emma was right! I’m just made for it.
Half the audience loved everything that I stood for. Half of the didn’t like the fact that I was there on my due date, because I apparently should have been at home in my pj’s nesting, with my knitting. But i’m a hustler…What can I say? 😉
And I couldn’t have been looked after better. There was literally staff EVERYWHERE, incase my waters broke…ready to run in and save the day.
Secretly…ITV wanted me to go into Labour during my interview.
Me: ‘I know that you want me to go into Labour. Are you gonna start jumping out on me and scaring me, until my waters break?? Haha.’
This was an elevator conversation…Weirdly, I actually felt fine.I just knew Ruby wasn’t ready to come out yet…
Long story short….That night, Ruby didn’t pop out that night….I stayed over the evening in London, got home safely and even chilled a little, doing squats, eating pineapples and scaring myself, at my own mirror image….
When she did decide to *pop* out…It was filmed, moments of it were placed upon Youtube and just like that Ruby’s birth went VIRAL.
Obviously, I didn’t care about how ‘viral’ anything was at that time because I was in labour, having humans squeeze out of me…Yet, you know how you upload a video….(I wanted to look back and watch it, as it was the first time i’d ever had a baby and I also wanted to show Ruby the video when she was older…Plus, I live my life publicly, so sharing it on Youtube isn’t that much of an issue for me. It’s my job. Back in the day, it was seen as SO TABOO. Now, everyone’s doing it.)
You know how you upload a video to Youtube and 100 people view it, then 400 people do…and over a 1000 people view it and you get all excited. I missed all that, I was recovering and having babies….
But my Mum walks into my hospital room, with refreshments and her phone in her hand…and says…
‘Chrissie….94,000 people have just watched your birthing video.’
There were loads of little snippets of the birth…Some were on 14,000 views, other’s on 81,000 views, some on 3,000 views and two that were on around 400,0000 views….
AND JUST LIKE THAT, WITHIN AROUND TWO HOURS….RUBY COMING INTO THE WORLD WENT VIRAL and over….
2,444,877 MILLION PEOPLE had at that point, viewed her arrival…
It was that crackers.
And at the time, loads of people said all sorts. Again, I didn’t care. I was so happy to be a new mum. I didn’t know that so many people would even watch it?
However, of course, due to the popularity of the videos…. with all of the love that came flooding in, I lot of ‘hate’ came a tumbling in also, as apparently it was so inappropriate of me, to upload my time in the labour room.
In fact, months afterwards… all the ‘hate’ did kinda make me feel a little weird and judged. I forgot to read the ‘love.’
HOWEVER, let me tell you, YESTERDAY(my mum, dad, brother and the babies, all celebrated Ruby’s birthday at Sundown Adventure Land, which is one of her favourite places and I do want to thank ALL the staff there for being so utterly wonderful to us and making the day so special. We filmed parts of our day for you and placed them on my ‘social’ stories….They’re on my Insta, Facebook and Snapchat. Are you following them?)
ANYWAY….Yesterday…..Ruby and I laid down in bed and I showed her the ITV2 show, and she watched a couple of the videos of her birth, that went viral and….
YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN HER BEAM! She did a face at me, like she couldn’t have felt more important. 😉
Ruby: ‘I can’t even believe that I was that special, that I was on the telly, in your belly and so many people watched me being born! Why do you look like a chipmunk?’
She said it so ‘7 year old’ and excited and understood every single part of it, as I told her the entire story from start to finish. She was fascinated. She threw her head back laughing and she just wanted to know everything about that moment….
So now….If i was ever in a situation where in which I was going to have another child….
I’d 100 PERCENT film it and upload it to Youtube…
I never know why so people are always scared of doing the things that feel so right or feel so normal, in case others judge them…when they’re not harming another single soul?
It’s weird that, isn’t it? So many people LIVE for what other people think! Why???? Like, I’m naturally someone who will not care about what ‘Joe Bloggs’ in Kansas thinks about my posts, if I’ve loved every single minute of it or chosen to do deliver it to the world. I’m someone who won’t even care, if someone close to me, a good friend, my mum, or if anyone disagrees with something that I am so passionate about. I’ll do it my way…always….IF, I think i’m right and if not, I’ll ask for help.
So, from my experience, I can tell you…
IN THE LONG RUN…
You will absolutely benefit from doing the things, that are TRUE to what YOU believe is right. The ones that smash it, don’t at all worry about the judgments of others. They go for it.
THEY LIVE THEIR VERSION OF LIFE PROUDLY AND WITHOUT FEAR.
They don’t get caught up in what other people think of them, because they’re secure enough to stand their own ground.
Yet, the main reason why going with what YOU WANT TO DO, always works, is simply because it’s filled with utter love and over flown with your true passion.
When you do things out of love, wonderful things happen….
I’ve had a great day and it feels so good saying it because if i’m honest, over the last couple days, i’ve felt shit. I’ve really sort of doubted myself and let my kitty mind get into a fucking tizzy. I got myself in a mood and surrendered to an odd case of the blues. (That’s why there was not blog.) Feeling like that is normal. So if you have days of the same kinda fashion..KNOW that you’re not weird, you’re human. But it really is only temporary. It is impossible for you to feel that shit all the time. But by all means, feel it. Have a wine. Feel it some more. Get over it. But be around positive energies. When you’re really passionate about things and want to do well, yet don’t play nicely with the art of patience, it’s hard to stay calm and all ‘coolio.’
But i’m back and i’m ace and I couldn’t be more fucking GLAD. I sent a Twitter DM to ‘Yourfeed Jack’ who is REALLY great at reining Wunna Land in and forcing me to believe and focus.
Jack: You can! What does success look like? You’re getting overwhelmed with all the possibilities and not knowing what the core is.’
I read this as I was stuck in traffic in Pontefract, by the Kings school at 8.34am.
After a few moans and moments of stress..I pulled myself together and with a..
‘Yeah..you’re right, I feel better now I forgot that I knew what I was doing, but yeah…I actually do. Lol. Yay!’
I pulled my sassy socks up and got on with it. From that point on…and whilst surrounded by the best chicks friends ever…i SMASHED IT.
Y’see the thing about this ‘dreams come true’malarky is that you have to be emotionally sound enough to jolly the ride. I’d say i’ve been lucky enough in life, to have a lot of dreams come true. Not always…it would be a lie to sugar coat it, yet i utterly realize how great i’ve had it at times…and I appreciate it because of the struggly bits. The shit parts. I’ve achieved a lot, so much that I won’t believe it until i’m a granny, rocking and knitting and telling my stories to strangers on streets, with a rum. (I WON’T SMELL OF WEE.)
But you can start off with loads of ‘dreams come true’ early on and then suffer through nothing. OR start off with nothing and experience ‘dreams come true.’ (Which i think is better.) Either way…as long you have a good grasp of life, balance and reality, the ability to adapt and have decent people with you who ‘focus’ you, when you gleefully throw yourself down that panic slide with your arms in the air and a ‘weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,’ you’ll be fine. ADAPT! Get on with it. Get what life is about. Partner up well, so you’re not with a dickhead who makes you emotionally feel like a dollar, instead of a trillion dollar big bucks. You’re gonna need a team mate. Don’t get that part twisted. It’s love that makes the world go around…not a Lamborghini.
After my pep talk, I got into mode…a good mode…a swinging strut mode and fuck it, from that point onwards..I booked all sorts! EVERYTHING! I cleaned up with glitter winks. I had opportunity swinging from my nipples tassels because I believed I could do it. So don’t let anyone tell you that you CAN’T do something. If someone doesn’t believe in you, don’t worry, work hard…they will. THEN YOU’LL have the choice to decide if you can be arsed to to deal with them, when you’re waving your sexy success flag. That relates to work AND love. Be the BEST VERSION of yourself.
I had an exciting 12 noon phone call today. Oddly, I was stood outside part of a castle that was mixed in with a church..and I was on the phone to a new brand that I’m wanting to work alongside. They said that they were huge Wunna fans. ( I love that.) I then looked at what they did, and it shocked me because I BECAME FASCINATED with what they had created. I wanted a deal. They called me at noon, as I stood in a turtle neck in the sun, outside a church..and everything got so exciting, I almost burst. I can’t wait to meet them..
‘So, Chrissie, i’ve just been handed all this paperwork on you, that I feel like I KNOW absolutely everything about your life. I actually can’t believe how much is on my desk about you.’
Me: ‘I just want you to know that I couldn’t be more excited about what you’re doing and I absolutely WANT to be a part of it all. It’s going to be HUGE.’
The day was ace after that point…so your mindset and having great people, friends or motivators around you mean everything. It changes the way you samba. I sorted my shit out after that point…and I knew that I could do it.
This year, ‘The Gods’ have shimmied some crazily successful people in my path…People who have all at some point made their dreams come true. I haven’t caught the hint previously, as wine runs through my system…YET, I’m getting it now and i’m certainly not distracted by nonsense. Don’t be distracted my nonsense. Have fun, but keep your eye on the prize. (And maybe buy a kitten. I feel like all good people have a cat.)
I smashed all these random brand deals today because i forced myself to dance to the beat, instead of throwing a pity party. I now have a book relaunch this year. (It’s the same as the one before, yet this time it will be rebranded, reshot, renamed, relooked at and delivered appropriately…and I’m organizing a tour. FUCK IT YEAH! Pull ya socks up dolls. Get with it.)
Then I was forced to hide Jelly Babies from Mel, as Firmonnell put them in my drawer, after sh heard Mel had put on a pound or something at her slimming world weigh in. In the end I gave her them anyway. I mean fuck it..(and i’m currently on a diet) but sometimes a chick’s just got to eat a bag of Jelly Babies. I used to hate them as a kid, but now I love them. It’s weird because when I was a teen, I was a really good ice skater and loved it. (ANYONE who was born in the 80’s and also born in Doncaster is good at ice skating. That’s all we could do for a pastime.) BUT NOW, i’m terrified of a skate around. I feel the fear. Even my best friend Kat, who I did the Paris Hilton Show with on ITV2, ( yes…she is no longer with us and chose to leave life tragically…We were really similar, but just dealt with things differently..I think about it all a lot. I’ve thought about her all night. She just wanted to feel love. I remember being fresh off the show and getting that call from Samuel to say that she had killed herself. I was on Edgware Rd in London outside the Hilton…and like the twat that I am, all i could think to do was call her phone continuously, in hope that she would answer. I even left her a voicemail. She wasn’t even alive. I loved her so much…yet I didn’t even cry until 3 months after when it hit me. It was an odd time, as I was living this weird, new celebrity ‘reality star’ lifestyle…and a person that i had just gone through the entire new chapter with…had found it all so difficult. The last thing she ever said to me, face to face, as we didn’t have a phone call afterward, was whilst we were at The Mayfair Hotel in London, with Paris Hilton, in her suite. weeks after filming the show. She couldn’t turn a tap on because she was so trashed and she turned to me, as we discussed my love life and told me that i’d know when I found the man of my dreams because he would re..teach me how to ice skate. I’ve told that story numerous times before. I’ve never yet met a boy who offered to do that. Lol. They offer a lot of things…but not a skate sesh.
I have nothing but good memories of that girl. A girl who was totally misunderstood at times. But I got her. I got it. And I showed her strength..when she felt weak. HOWEVER…not when she needed it the most…because I was so busy being a ‘star.’)
Tonight, I did nothing but enjoy what I have. I laid in bed with my baby buntings Ruby and Junior and like every night, when I snuggle them in, (because they also spend nights with their daddies, which is so important for their balance) everything hits pause for a while, as the world turns and we just talk about life. I ask them both individually about their day, what went on, how things made them feel…how they’re currently feeling…and they’ll ask me questions in return. I’m a laid back Mum, so I let them tell or ask me ANYTHING. I encourage them to express…
‘Mum, are you Chrissie Wunna?’
‘Am I a Youtube Baby?’
‘Why are your boobs like that?’
‘I can’t kiss older boys when i’m only six, can I?’
‘I love you mum..’
If I could give you any advice it would be to believe that you can do anything. Go for anything you want to do! When you doubt yourself, ask for help to get you back to ‘jolly’ so you believe you can. Dreams come true. Not all of them, but most of them if you try hard enough and focus. I see it happen everyday. Be who you want. Embrace it. Love who you want. Hide Jelly Babies. But most of all, DON’T WORRY.. Don’t worry about your future. Go with the natural grain of your talent and where life takes you. Anything can happen. I mean fuck! I’m making a name for myself right now (and i’ve done a lot of things 😉 ) by simply writing a diary of my life…It’s one story our of billions…but it seems to be working?
In this day of age, you can make anything happen….Have great people around you. Believe your not shit.
All will be okay….I can always feel it. There’s a magic in the air.
Thank GOD it’s the weekend! I feel like i’ve just rolled off, the busiest week of work EVER and I don’t know what’s hit me. This week was stressy? Is that the right word? I don’t know why? But I was happy that Friday came. I needed to kick back and chill on my throne 🙂 and just watched the world go by for a second. *Wiggle…Wink.*
I can tell the temperature of my stress, by the amount of wine consumed, once my work week has hit ‘see ya!’ I drank a whole bottle of red to myself, laughed, loved a little, performed a few pretend music videos in my bedroom mirror (you know you’re happy when you’re doing that and you know you’re obviously the fifth member of ‘Little Mix’ when your ‘across from you’ neighbour stops to tell you, that he watches you perform them drunk… from his window. Lol.)
‘Honestly, Chrissie! It’s the highlight of my evening. I love that you see me and don’t even care that i’m watching!’
‘I don’t see you? I’m pissed..’
‘Hahaha…now you sound like a pervert. LOL’
Anyway, I’m not here to tell you about my drunk window, ‘Little Mix’ performances.
RIGHT NOW, I’m here to make you rewind a second…
Remember that I visited Social Chain, about 2 weeks ago. I loved it. Didn’t I! I spread the news to everyone like wildfire. I was on my favourite Vlog , with Steven Bartlett…Who is certainly my favourite human.
Remember? Got it? Good!
A week later, I organised and ordered glamourous, fresh cut flowers to be sent to Katie Wallwork at Social Chain, by ‘Bloom & Wild,’ who are my favourite luxury flower delivery service and she received them on ‘International Womans Day,’ as a ‘Thank you for having me…’ I loved Katie! So I wanted to make her smile.
By nature, i’m quite well mannered (apart from that one time when I threw my wine in this hideous girls face, because she thought she was the cast of ‘Kung Fu Panda’ and was a bit niftier than I with her very manly fisticuffs. A waste of a good, full bodied red, really :)) However, I’ll also tell you that I DELIGHT in being courteous and even though i’m one of those ambitious ‘Boss It’ kind of ‘Chick festivals,’ with an image that is showered in glitteratti, diamond glares and luxury tinkers…I also LOVE (more than anything) creating moments where in which, even if it’s just for a second, i’ve made someone’s eyes smile and by surprise.
It makes me happy! What? I’m a decent human! Give me trophies (UK BLOG AWARDS. 😉 )
ANNNNYWAY, I ALSO sent Steven Bartlett a surprise ‘Thank You’ gift…and that gift, I had decided had to be Gucci? (Obviously! Lol.)
Gucci is my favourite luxury brand, because it oozes a timeless, stylish, sophistication, combined with a fun, modern, twist of ‘ooh.’ I ADORE what they’re delivering right now…and HEY, I’m currently appearing in the pages of the ever so High Fashion Spring Edition of ‘House of Solo’ Magazine, as ‘Social Media’s Newest IT Girl’…Therefore, surely what I say,…goes? 😉 LOL.
But yes, I’m a decent gift giver and so I chose to buy Steve THIS SEASONS ‘Original GG Canvas baseball hat with the traditional webbing design’ in black….BY GUCCI. The cost of it didn’t really matter to me…as once i’ve decided on doing something, I have a one track mind, be it in work, love, ‘Thank You Gifts’...anything really… that’s it…I’ll commit to it fully and go for it.
So, I told my chick friends that I had bought and ordered the gift from Gucci, as I knew I was on the busiest work week ever…and that I needed it to arrive at his office in Manchester…for AFTER he returned from doing his ‘4 stages in 3 days’ speaking tour. (Like any successful, non creepy chick, 🙂 I stalk his Vlog, so I pretty much have the semi, low down on his work life…Which is obviously super handy, when stalking schedules.)
Now, it was important to me, that it landed on his desk, AFTER the speaking tour, so it felt like a ‘treat,’ after a busy, rushy, ‘he must be shattered’ stretch and at the SAME TIME…It’d make him smile because (like Katie’s Flowers) it would deliver a moment into someones’s world, where in which they knew another human cared enough about them, to be thoughtful. I love ‘Thank you for having me’ gifts…They are my absolute FAVOURITE. And you can’t go wrong with Gucci, as everyone loves a little bit of luxury…I mean I personally picked out what I thought was a great gift for Steve…and yeah, if you know me personally, my choice is VERY ‘Wunna.’
He gets a lot of gifts. But let me tell you about gifts. The most thoughtful gifts, are the gifts that you send people, for NO OTHER REASON, than to TELL THEM that they nare appreciated. You should choose things that YOU THINK they would personally love. I also choose things that I LOVE, as it’s such a good energy to pass on to another.
So, this hat, during my busiest week ever, didn’t just come from the local ‘in your area, if you’re lucky’ Gucci store. Oh no…that would be far to easy…THIS CAP…(and my chick friends will tell you) was FLOWN HALF WAY ACROSS ITALY…through THREE DIFFERENT ITALIAN CITIES, THREE DIFFERENT AIRPORTS, GUARDED BY SECURITY (who I called’ THE GUCCI CAP POLICE’)…DELICATELY SCANNED AT EACH AIRPORT, on arrival and departure AND because I needed to know WHEN this bit of luxury would end up gifted upon Mr Bartlett’s desk…GUCCI gave me HOURLY EMAILED REPORTS of the cap’s whereabouts and journey! Lol.
How amazing is that!! It’s the boujiest ‘tracking service’ ever. I felt like part of an FBI Glam Squad.
I kept chatting to people, but checking my phone, before looking up and then laughing with ‘Hot Sarah…’ and ‘Feisty Gem…’
‘THIS CAP HAS A BETTER LIFE THAN I DO! LOL!’
I’m not evening kidding…IT HAD SECURITY!
But let me give you a picture of events…
Gucci where giving me updates like this…
‘7 March/04.34pm Arrival for Original Scan in Firenze, Italy.’
‘7 March/ 06.32pm Departure Scan/Firenze, Italy.’
‘7 March 07.30pm Arrival Scan,/ Bologna, Italy.’
I recieved updates the entire way through and Wunna Land had got so involved in the ‘Life of Steve’s Gucci Cap’ that monitoring it’s whereabouts became a full time show. THE CAP needed it’s OWN VLOG! *Like & Subscribe here.*
So I KNEW when Steve was going to probably be back at his Manchester office and I also knew when Katie had received her flower delivery as ‘Bloom & Wild’ told me. 🙂 And I tried to schedule them appropriately. So they’d get there at the sameish time.
I was swimming in Wunna land, talking to brands, organizing shoots, verbally abusing my friends in good humour….AS HE was travelling from one event, to the next event, doing interviews , vlogging from taxis and meeting fans, as he tended to his own version of life. We were both going through really busy times….
AND THIS CAP….AS WE WERE DOING LIFE…WAS FLYING THROUGH THE SKIES ABOVE US…. (It’s was like a ‘Social’ James bond Movie.)
Then finally, I scrolled through my phone, as Gucci had alerted me at five o clock in the morning, to let me know that the cap had LANDED at East Midlands Airport in England and was headed to Manchester Airport, to get picked up by the courier and delivered to the Portland Street…by 11.34am. LOL.
I’m NOT JOKING. It was the most BOUJI ‘Charlie’s Angel’s’ operation of absolute glamourousity… EVER!
I mean ALL DAY I was working, working, working and then plate spinning my own piece of Cyberland, but I constantly had this CAP’s journey churning through my mind. Lol. As soon, as I got the..
‘The Courier has successfully delivered your parcel in Manchester at 11.34am, to 127 Portand Street, for Steven Bartlett.’
There was Wunna land cheering, relief and a suggestion of wine and therapy.
Gucci is SO INCREDIBLY SLICK, they’re amazing. I mean GOD, those updates were DELICIOUSLY FABULOUS…yet SO ‘High Fashion’ intense. 🙂
‘THANK GOD, THE HAT HAS F****** ARRIVED!!!’
I needed 42 GINS after following the panic of it’s journey.
‘Well you would go for the flipping Gucci Hat….FROM ITALY, Wunna!’
‘The flowers were such an easier transfer of appreciation…I should’ve just got him butch roses..’
‘Are you happy?’
‘Cos it’s finally there?’
‘Well…yeah. Ofcourse. BUT it’s mainly because I know that he’ll open the box, see it, not have a clue who it’s from, yet notice that it’s bouji…and his face will light up…He’ll beam…It’ll make him smile…Then he’ll find out that it’s from ME to say ‘Thank you’ and it’ll shock him. That again, will make him smile…But this time HIS EYES WILL SMILE… AND YOU TELL ME WHAT ON THIS ENTIRE EARTH IS BETTER than sending someone a bit of luxury love, just to say THANK YOU. It’s classy, with a wild streak. It’s fun. It’s shocking…It’s ME. It’s thoughtful! And thoughtful is the new sexy!’
Now, I don’t know whether you watch Steve’s Vlogs OR if you have managed to cross path’s with Social Chain and all that they do…
But here… Watch the Vlog when my gift from Wunna Land…(and it WAS the biggest operation of luxury cap travelling EVER….) landed on Steve Bartlett’s Manchester Desk…
His Eyes Smile! (Told you. 🙂 Makes me happy!
PLUS, the AWESOME THING ABOUT IT ALL, is the fact that I have a BLOG and he has a VLOG….and this real life ‘Thank You’ gift, travels from my patch of Cyberland to HIS channel of ‘Social’ AND YOU ACTUALLY GET TO TRAVEL WITH IT….AS WE ACCIDENTALLY DELIVER TWO HALVES OF ONE STORY! 🙂
So, as I leapt off the train at Manchester Piccadilly, from Platform 16A at Leeds station, after the entire contents of my unzipped overnight bag decided to topple into the train isle and as THREE every so refined gentleman, kindly gathered up my bits…
‘Oh, here’s your laptop…’
‘Hahaha…I have your BRA!!!’
I shot off through the station, checked in to my hotel, quick changed in a little glamourous mirrored suite….flew out the door, got stuck in an elevator, ran down five flights of stairs in my Hilton ‘Gina’ shoes (that I won on the telly for celotaping feathers to my nipples 🙂 )….waved at staff, swiftly pushed through a glass revolving door, jumped into a taxi that was ready waiting for me outside…and with a..
‘127 Portland Street please….’
I was on my way to the most creative social marketing agencies, currently taking over the world… AND I was about to meet my most FAVOURITE human, who co founded this amazing agency of aged 20 something geniuses….who IS ALSO the star of MY FAVOURITE EVER VLOG. (I literally do not watch ANY OTHER Vlog, but HIS Vlog and it’s weird because, no matter how busy I am, I always seem to FIND the time, everyday to tune into his world.)
Taxi pulls up, I step out, pass my driver a fiver…and after three steps around puddles, a stairway and buzzer 4 to enter…I carefully walk up a few stairs, look right and there is it, almost raised above me, like a lofty planet of it’s own…with two giant glass entry doors and a wall lit ‘Social Chain’ sign beaming through…
To my left some builders/maintenance guys, with a Henry The Hoover were telling me that I was ‘fit’ 🙂 and to my right…almost like magic, one of the glass doors slowly eased open and there stood blond Katie, (who is Steve’s brand manager) with Pablo in her arms….with the warmest smile on her face and a..
‘Come on in…I’ll show you around…’
Right, to start this off…OH MY GOD. Nothing is more SURREAL than literally watching the Social Chain world and a bundle people do life there… at work…EVERY DAY…on my phone….before I go to bed…and then somehow waking up one afternoon, *BLINKING* and finding myself SMACK BANG in the MIDDLE of it all…almost as if you’ve rubbed your kitten eyes and you’ve ended up in some crazy Social ‘Willy Wonka’ dream, where you’ve won the golden ticket and ended up on the otherside of the screen.
I was in and LIVING the flipping VLOG, that I watch EVERY SINGLE DAY….I can’t even tell you how crazy it felt. I am A HUGE Steven Bartlett fan and since being addicted to his ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog, I soon then became a HUGE Social Chain fan. It’s all done very well. I beamed with delight, stroked Pablo, then the faux fur had to come off, as Katie grabbed me a water and she showed me around the office. 🙂
As soon as you walked into the office…which seemed busy, there’s a warmness about it. There’s a love…and there’s an energy. Even from first moment when Katie greeted me, there was a magic. I was guided through, with my faux fur in my arms, in my heels, on their wooden floors, through the most creative office that I have ever seen, being shown each department and being told what each of them do.
It was actually hilariously because I have literally STALKED this world, these people, this Vlog like my life has depended on it. 🙂 So seeing all these faces that I already kinda knew was SURREAL. I couldn’t stop squeaking and wittering on about how star struck I felt. Everything was filled with ‘Oh my GODS‘ AND Wunna *shock* faces, with happy girl screeches and lots of ‘I’m so sorry, i’m literally the biggest stalky fan ever.’
I certainly must have looked like an over eyelashed, Oriental…tool, but I didn’t care because I was doing ‘being a tool’ in the best world ever. 🙂 I was on Planet Social Chain.
What i did notice, during my walk around is that EVERYONE was working. No one was really ‘tossing it off’…everyone seemed to not only be knuckling down and getting on with it…but at the same time CHOOSING to knuckle down and get on with it….HAPPILY. (For some reason, I thought they’d all be going wild and just doing whatever they wanted to do? Maybe because in MY HEAD, if the only rule was ‘Don’t Die’ ..and that IS their only office rule…I’d probably be up to mischief.) But they were working…hard…and loving it….AND NOT REMOTELY PHASED by me randomly sauntering through the office. They sort of acknowledged me like was a member of their team with a ‘Hi! How are you?…Like they’ve known me forever. The most naturally FRIENDLY team I’ve been around. There’s nothing fake or unauthentic about them. They’re all really different from one another…they’re certainly a well formed team….they’re young…and they’re busy.
There was a calm, casual, swirl to the office, where each department and each room were living their own version of Social Chain and after I waved at a few people, said ‘Hi’ and took a look around, Katie & I both sat in a pod like booth and chattered, as we waited for Steve…who was finishing up a meeting.
I was chatting to Katie like we were ‘besties’ and I noticed that she’s really great at what she does, she’s casually savvy at it. She knows the team well, Steve well and sees the big overall picture. She knows exactly how she wants the brand to travel, moving forward..and she doesn’t talk shite…she’s genuine, she laughs a lot. she lets me take the piss out of myself…joins in…lol..and makes you feel comfy. Out of all the brand managers that I’ve met, she’s the most authentic…and I know lots…infact…I used to be one…
Then Steve pops out of nowhere. By this time I already felt so at home…that I wasn’t even terrified anymore. (I will tell you that I was terrified, in my taxi, en route to the office. I don’t even know why? Must be the ‘hanging with your favourite human’ thing. 😉 )
He’s all friendly, say’s ‘Hi’ and is a mixture of warm and fun, with a mature confidence. He sits in the booth with us and chatters. Really easy to chat to. Someone who is expressive, yet at the same seems to be thinking constantly. Like his mind seems to be constantly moving, as he sits with you. He’s witty, he’s funny, yet a bizarre balance of loud and quiet. He interacts with his staff lovingly. (Wait that sounds naughty? Lol. 🙂 )
Basically, we were having this conversation, and both Katie and Steve where telling me how he’s SO emotionally invested with each person that works at Social Chain. If someones broken up with their boyfriend and crying at their desk…he’s there and see’s it as his problem….He actually cares…But really….And what CEO do YOU KNOW that actually give any shits about each team member personally? I can’t name any?? What I got from him was that he just understands life, understands people…understands how to bring the best out of a person…and doesn’t sweat the small stuff. Hes not an idiot.
I mean when you have a team that is filled with young 20 somethings. I am absolutely positive that numerous ‘dramas’ can occur at any point, it’s part of BEING a 20 something, isn’t it? I was an ‘all over the place‘ 20 something in LA. I would’ve loved to have had a boss like Steve. (Infact, my boss wasn’t too bad…But he couldn’t have made much impact because I can’t remember his name? Lol. Bill? Ben? Fuck Knows. I did get asked to leave. 🙂 )
Yet even though Steve himself is young, he’s so ‘together.’ He’s calm. He doesn’t fly off the handle. He’s sort of an emotional fatherly figure to his Social Chain clan. He holds it all together. He knows ALL that is going on within every staff member. They’re all really close. They all go out together at the weekends and everything. It’s definitely the best team that I’ve witnessed and that’s what makes them work well…successfully. I mean God, they work hard, but they let loose on a Friday. They reward themselves for hard work.
Me: ‘Are you shy?’
‘Noo…I’m not shy. I’m sort of in the middle. I’m pretty confident.’
(He’s like I am. I’m the most confident, shy human you will ever meet. 🙂 )
I was actually shocked at how mature he is for his age. I’m loads of years older than him…and with a very apparent streak of immaturity. He’s younger than I, but extremely wise. Yet he’s not dull with it. I hate dull, with it. He’s warm but savvy. So when he’s talking to you, he’s open, he’ll sit back, he stretches his arm up against the back wall…he’s talk freely. Then he has moments where he’ll be quiet and look away or down. He checks his phone to make sure he’s still on schedule…which is good…but I noticed that whenever anyone walked passed the booth, he looked. So, he’s never oblivious to his surroundings. He’s aware of what’s going on around him.
What I also noticed is that HE’S BUFF. Like I don’t know if he’s been going to the gym everyday or not? BUT it certainly seems like he is. He’s all tall and broad shouldered. More than you’d think. I was impressed. Surely there’s not a guy who’s kind natured, successful, stylish, hard working, driven, fun AND HOT?
Me: ‘So do all the girls fancy you and all the guys what advice from you and to be you?’
‘Loads of people want business advice or for me to mentor them. Almost too many people for us to keep up with…but no, I don’t think a loads of girls fancy me, do they?’
Katie: ‘Currently more girls are watching the Vlog than guys…and it was definitely the other way around before.’
Yet the good thing about this Vlog is that he has such a diverse audience. Everyone is watching it. It’s a show. Be you a Mum, a girl, a guy…It’s a great balance of work life, with guy banter, with the additional savvy chick in place. It’s a great story to watch develop. I’m hooked. But you know that, as I go on about it so much. The way I see it, he ALREADY has the guys on his side…They want to be him, they want to work with him, for him…The girls…will again follow suit, as they’ll feel all inspired by him, know he’s successful…and will ofcourse either way…totally fancy him.
After meeting him. I totally fancy Steve. (And I never fancy anyone.)
Anyway..we were all sat in the booth, laughing away, talking about work, fun, looking through messages, taking the piss out of each other. We talked about life, I found out that he doesn’t like people who don’t spell things appropriately. Lol. Katie prefers short sharp messages, to really long winded ones. To be fair…we all have our space in Cyberland. I’m a blogger. It’s doing well. 🙂 He’s a Vlogger. It’s doing well. We’re on similar Cyberland ground, with completely alternate patches. He runs Social Chain and gets gifts to his desk everyday…I just totter about Wunna Land, with my shit love life and get an inbox full of *privates* from strangers.
Katie: ‘He’s really good at thinking on his feet…’
Steve: ‘I’m not really too shaken by what people think of me…’
Me: ‘You really should’ve kicked that Vice Girl. 🙂 ‘
Katie: ‘I’ve sometimes gone up to Steve with important things to tell him and he’s hidden or pretended to be on his phone, just so he doesn’t have to talk to me! Lol’
Steve: ‘I’m not really bothered by the whole red carpet scene..it’s boring after a while..’
Me: ‘I can’t believe that guys trying to out Superfan me…lol’
Steve: ‘I’ve noticed that the smallest things can make people so happy. It’s strange as I don’t see meeting me as such a big deal? But people seem to want to..?’
The whole ‘pop in’ was great! Kinda like being at a quiet corner booth at a bar. Doddz was there filming…He films all day, every day. But it all felt really easy. They’re used to having a camera there constantly now, that it’s invisible to them…and cameras never bother me…I’m a natural . 😉 Haha!
As I was sat in the booth, all these characters that I watch every night in the Vlog, kept casually walking by me and each time they did, I just couldn’t help but stop in utter amazement and be star struck like a weirdo. LOL. They’re cyber stars and they don’t even KNOW IT. I knew ALL OF THEM, from each episode. Lol. And like I said, it was SO overwhelming because I’d be chatting about one of them and then they’d JUST APPEAR out of nowhere. It was madness…or in my words…
‘I can’t take this…it’s like a Trippy Disneyland.’
Anyway, after an hour or so…my time was UP and they all had to get back to business and shoot off to their next meetings! I get all that, it’s how it is….and I love it. The energy changes immediately and it all smashes right back into action. And just like that, after quick hugs, a picture and an ‘I’m sure i’ll see you again’…He vanished in a magical puff of smoke. (Well just walked to a do a phone meeting, in another part of the office. Lol.)
‘Can i go down the slide..?’
Katie: ‘Really? In Heels? Lol’
So the ever lovely Katie showed me around the bits of the office that i hadn’t seen. I saw people laid in sleeping pods, working away on laptops..right above the booth we were sat in. Another group were in a big brand meeting surrounded by Flamingo wall paper. Steve was taking a call in a cosy log cabin’ type room. (Which is my favourite…everyone knows that I find my best peace in the forest.) The whole office is like an adventure. Anything can happen and everything does…
Then poor Katie had to hold my flipping faux fur and handbag as i climbed up some stairs and shot down the slide into a blue and white ball pool. 🙂
As I left, I chatted to Katie a lot more…as we talked about my work , where I was headed and the stuff I was doing and she gave me advice, which I couldn’t appreciate more. They’re definitely a company that I would want to work with…I want to be on Team Social Chain. When you leave that office, you realize how special they’ve made you feel…and that’s a talent in itself. I mean they should even open their own Talent Agency sector, where they represent Cyberlands most popular Social Stars…because no one would do it better than them. They’d rinse it.
It was literally the best Monday that I have had in 2017 so far…
I cannot even tell you how busy i’ve been and i’ve loved it. I’ve loved every single waking moment of it, like the dewy dripped deliciousness of ‘dreams come true.’ I’ve worked really hard at everything and yeah there have been times where in which it’s been tricky and jingle jangled in obstacles. Yet, I must have downed a wine and jousted through them without truly realizing. Y’know ungracefully *hitched* over the brick wall, only to turn back around, *wink* at it and find it transforming into glitter. This is a year of change for me. That year. The year where I *unzip* out of the old and with my head to the skies smiling… i’m ‘ashes rising.’ It’s almost a ‘sexy’ year. On this day LAST year (and I hardly ever back track, I see it as unhealthy) I received a really hideous ‘hate mail’ message that I glorified with the best comeback blog ever. So great, that that blog post, even to this day is STILL my most viewed blog post of all time. It’s a shame that my ‘highest ranking’ was stemmed from ‘hate mail’ and simply by someone who tried to gain a little ‘look at me’ via making others ‘look at ME’ in a more negative manner. I actually gained a lot of support…and well, this time last year, I quite positively thought that I was doing pretty great career wise. However, if I compare it to where I am at this point THIS YEAR…it’s amazing how FAR I’ve actually come. So, even though i hate to back track, I will say that looking back & reflecting, is beneficial when it comes to *pausing* for a second and realizing that you’ve achieved. You forget to notice sometimes and because you’ve been so busy.
And boy have I been busy. I’ve been so busy that I’ve felt like i’mon a glittery pink treadmill, that’s been turned up to ‘full speed,’ yet i’m in crystal Loubotuins, ‘yessing’ everyone, ‘no..ing’ those who aren’t quite right and i’m running, i’m tottering so fast that i’m racing against time…with a pina colada in my hand and a *wink* that is sprinkled with charm on repeat. I’ve been working through the day, blogging when i can, single mummying ALWAYS and then in then in the evening flying off to any event of my choice that i’ve been invited to. It’s felt like i’m on some kind of crazy cocktail, picture taking Wunna tour. And the weird thing is…i’m not even complaining. I’m shattered. But it’s felt so right that internally i’m smiling. That’s how you know ‘career wise’ that you’re doing something that you love, something that’s right for you, as you’ll always make time for it, because it makes you happy. It doesn’t feel liek work, no matter how shattered you are.
I will now say that I did opt for rescheduling my entire work weekend, simply because I felt as though i needed a ‘moment.’ My body was so exhausted that i just needed to refill (…myself with champagne cocktails :). ) Noooo. I just needed a day off, to enjoy the babies, be a mum, not feel the pressure of an audience and only because when i’m knackered I can’t shimmie to the BEST of my ability. It only takes a day or two…then I can replace myself back in that canon and *shoot* myself out again, but with full force. Everything’s been successfully rescheduled, with more on top, so I couldn’t be happier, as I have some really exciting people and places to venture! I can’t even tell you how excited am I. Right now, it’s so bizarre because there are so many places asking me to visit and a bundle of places that I personally are wanting to visit, so i’ve asked…that if i wanted to, I could set up some 300 day tour. Lol. I can’t BELIEVE HOW FAR THIS LITTLE BLOG HAS COME. And I can’t believe that PEREZ HILTON (who I LOVE and i’m completely inspired by) liked the fact that I’m a FINALIST in this years UK BLOG AWARDS! As if!!! AND he sent me cyber kisses, after I stated that his absence in Celebrity Big Brother is…well…I said ‘shite.’ (I know…I put it so poetically. 🙂 ) About 10 years about, I worked at Crunch Gym, just as the check in and ‘give you a towel’ girl. It was one of the best jobs I ever had. It was so much fun and I met so many different, yet familiar faces every day. It was stimulating. But one of those faces that I checked in almost every day, before he became GIANTLY famous, was Perez Hilton…So it’s really great to be 10 years on and able to look back on development. Why am I being so reflective? I need a rum. This is shit.
However, the great thing about this last week, has been the fact that i’ve been surrounded by the greatest chick friends. How any ‘Glamour Puss’ lives life, without her ‘Girl Soldiers’ (cue: Beyonce) is beyond me? You need them. You really do. And yeah, we’re all pretty different and range from the ages of 21 to sixty something…But without that daily check in, ‘Double B’s’ unexplainable banter and Mel’s daily, ‘but i’ve have melon’ announcement (she’s the slim girl that goes to your local Slimming world weigh in, who you despise for being slim because she can chow down half a pack of Rich Tea biscuits, lose weight and justify the *binge* with a ‘But i’ve just had a bowl of melon’ )….Without the balance of one another…we’d all fall to pieces.
I think the problem with me, is that I’m quite ‘boy bantery,’ even though i’m ever much the girl. I’ve always had a lot of guy friends, that now i’m really embracing having chick friends, because it brings out that inner girl, that you need in order to radiate and be a girl. Maybe that’s where i’ve been going wrong on the dating scene, because I never seem to be able to let a guy be a man, without being their hot bantery chick friend, looking after myself financially or taking control of the situation emotionally. What I mean by that is that i’ll chase to get what I want in love… and that’s lame. I’m lame. And it’s only because in business and in life by nature, i’m used to zooming forward with clout in an attempt to get what I want. I’m proactive. Lol. However, now I FEEL more girly and it’s the delicate girliness in me that seems to be bringing the gents forward…I’m playful and i’m divary…yet like i always say, until you meet me, you don’t realise that I have this soft warmth.
It’s funny because i’ve had some people meet me and say,
‘It’s weird because I thought after all the tit pics that you’d be an absolute nightmare, but you are so much more sophisticated than I imagined.’
YET at the same time, I’ve had people say,
‘I thought you’d be so ultra high maintenance and up your own arse, yet you are literally so down to earth…’
So, i guess i’m both? The key is your initial perception of me.
Yet going back to ‘Girl Soldiers’….you don’t have great chick friends, that you see on a daily, unless you are comfy enough to discuss PENIS. If you could read my blog notes from the week, which are literally just quick bullets on the ‘notes’ section of my iphone, (which reminds me i’m due an upgrade,) you would wee yourself a little with laughter. The fact that i’ve executively typed ‘PUBE NATION’ makes into my phone, makes me DIE with belly laughs.
So, I guess I had started a conversation about sex and how I haven’t had any in ages…months….in fact and that it actually felt great. I’m dating no one, i’m single and i’m so happy and so busy that I’m not even plonking legs at ‘ten to two‘ as they say.. on bed sheets…ANYWHERE after cocktails! 🙂 Like i said, I do intend on finding my ideal partner…I want to fall in love. However, right now, unless they did all the chasing and really wanted to date me, or if i really really *hearted* them…I wouldn’t have time to date at all. I’m shattered.
But anyway, ‘Double B’ decided to tell everyone that she didn’t want to give blow jobs anymore because her ‘Beau’ has a penis that (wait for it) LOOKS LIKE ME! HAHAHA.
‘Honestly, Chrissie! It looks like YOU when you’re in your GIANT PARTY WEAVE. I can’t even look at it!’
HAHAHA. If you are unaware as to what my ‘Party Weave’ IS, know that it is the most biggest and most intense piece of head wear, ANY GIRL could endure on a night out. It is the BIGGEST AMOUNT OF HAIR… ON A HAIR PIECE… EVER MADE. That’s what her boyfriend’s willy looks like. I wonder whether it *pouts* too and takes Selfies?
Then, like that wasn’t enough, she then went on to tell me a story about how she knew this guy who hadn’t had sex or wanked off in THREE ENTIRE YEARS. (Odd news, when you’re about to calmly eat a pasty.) Anyway, he got lucky and manged to *bone* (‘Firmonnell’ always tells me off for saying *Bone*) a girl who just so happened to be ‘Double B’s’ friend…
‘Honestly Chrissie, she had just had sex with him, came over to mine and when she took off her top, to get in the bath, IT SMELT LIKE ROTTEN EGGS. His spunk had stayed in him for SO LONG that it had turned ROTTEN. I’ve never smelt anything like it!!!’
Hahahaha! She makes my blog too easy on me.
But does that happen? Spunk doesn’t turn rotten. It doesn’t have a ‘best before end’date, does it? However, I do think that it’s unhealthy to have it stashed in you, going ‘rotten’ for years on end. Lol. Boys can’t win. They’re mucky if they always *splurge* it out and they’re mucky if they decide to hold it all in. It’s rubbish being a gent. Poor sods!
Men are just weird creatures in general. No wonder, why i haven’t managed to come across my perfect find. This morning I had Twitter banter with Tom Zanetti over a video he had received from a middle aged gentleman, who had taken a moment of his life to plonk a blond wig and make up on and place TWO cut out pictures of TOM on his nipples. HAHAHAAH. He sent Tom the video on twitter…and it was so funny that you couldn’t cry for laughing. We’ve been pissing ourselves about it non stop. I mean, it takes some balls doesn’t it, so i’ll give him a high five for that, as he succeeded in the art of gaining Tom’s attention. Yet it did make me consider burning my own eyes out..and i’ve been, seen and done it all. Lol. But hey ‘potatoe/pottato,’ some people wake up on a Sunday morning and praise the Good Lord Jesus Christ. Others glue Zanetti to their nipples for Twitter videos and hit ‘send.’ Lol. I love it!
I’m always going to be single aren’t I!
Maybe it’s a blessing.
There’s a whole lot of ‘city’ and for once, I’ll tell ya, i’m thankful that there’s not that much sex. 🙂
‘What’s the Oriental equivalent to Black don’t Crack?’
‘I think YOU need to say it, or it makes us look really racist, but you do look about 18!’
(Mixed in with other girl convos)
‘How do you know he’s rich?’
‘Well…he’s obese, so obviously! That guy eats!’
(GIANT LAUGHTER OCCURS.)
Then loads of flights of killer fucking stairs happened, just so i could have an egg sandwich, talks of a guy with one peck, a sausage roll, people watching, teenage gay youths sex snogging on a market stall drunk, talks of Kim Kardashians bum..
‘I mean, it looks far too heavy to be carrying around?’
‘Webbo, do you like bum implants? No, I mean like when you’re getting jiggy?’
‘No, I’m not arsed?’ Excuse the pun! 😂
And then after lots of hard work, a busy mind, a good time, the end of the day and a 24 coffees, ‘The Mighty’ frisbeed over an A4 printed document with a..
‘Hey you have nothing going on in your love life? Why not do it on telly…’ Lol to see if i would audition for ‘Dinner Date.’ Haha.
And i would, but only if i’m the picker. I can’t be bothered with cooking for strange boys. But super arsed with picking one to pretend date. Lol.
Then almost like the beauty Gods needed to cut us some slack, absolute HOARDS of teenagers in teeny tiny glammy dresses distracted us, as they poured in from the skies and alleys of Pontefract. It was like Jurrassic park in heels and diamantees. We watched them be underaged and drunk…with intense contour faces and with hair that would make you believe that they were all up for every ‘Miss World’ award. (Apart for the weird goth one who went out in just a black bra with no tan. Eww! lol)
Two teenage boys were heavily making out on the market stall, feeling each other up and everything! However now i think back, one was just pissed and the other one was Gay, so the gay one did some *flying leap* onto the straight one, who couldn’t see, was laying on the market stall drunk and well I’m sure he started aggressively snogging him. Romance is alive! These boys were around 17. I know!!!!
We ofcourse did the polite thing and GLARED AT THEM like they were nutters the entire time and then filmed them for YouTube without them knowing . 🙂 Hahah. That’s not funny. I shouldn’t find it funny. But fuck it! I find it funny!
Okay, away from that, I have lots of opportunities flying in now. Everything’s stable, but everything’s exciting. By the end of the year something smashing will have happened i’m sure. But i have no clue what? I just have this feeling…or a rash? Can’t tell? Both good omens. Lol. Good news gives me feelings. Stress gives me a rash.
I’m about to get organized and start my ‘A Wine with Wunna’ celeb interviews that i’m gonna film for your jolly entertainment. (Basically, i do a wine and have banter with well known faces off your telly. It’s like a interview, but obviously, you know me…so we’ll CHAT and they’ll let all loose, as i’m charming. 😉 It’s not formal, it’s casual and so much actual fun.)
I kinda only have ten minutes to write this in so i’m in a bit of a rush. I’m waiting for a taxi outside my house typing this on my phone in my spikey red nails!!!
But i had no babies last night, as the were all at their Daddies and it’s weird as when they’re around you you adore them, yet they don’t half nark you off. Lol. Yet when they’re gone and there’s just you and a ginny cocktail, you MISS THE ABSOLUTE HELL OUT OF THEM.
I literally didn’t even know what to do with myself, so i ate carbs and selfied and pretended to shout at children who weren’t around me, after dancing to Fleur East tracks, downing more cocktails, emailing a talent agent and smashing a box of takeout noodles. I obviously need therapy, cuddles or a slap. You decide. It’s like my own version of ‘Snog, Marry or Avoid!’
I rushed upstairs to blog at around 9.30pm and must have passed out with exhaustion. Lol. It’s tiring being a glamour puss. 🙂 However at that point it felt blissy. You know when you can finally surrender to finishing your day, ripping off all your clothing, pants and everything, fling off the old bra and just lay starfish, naked on your bed for those couple of minutes of nothing but peace.
Did that, must have fallen asleep, as i’ve just woken up 7am and missed my alarm. Lol. OOps!
Other than that, i’m at work all day, i’m trying to plan drinks with friends, and wang in a drink with Mark, who i sort of met at the Leeds Lifestyle awards. He’s confused me because no matter what i say to him, he always asks me ‘why?’ Lol. I’m never used to explaining myself? I guess even though i’m easy going, i must be used to shouting out demands or commands. Lol.
I need to sort myself out so i’m off. BUT, soooo happy that Russell Brand is going to be a dad! Just read it on my Facebook newsfeed. i heart that guy!
Looongest day ever…Lol…I started off in a sort of good mood, and then got fed up with it all and just wanted to toss off work for fun, but couldn’t. Haha. It didn’t help knowing that everyone else was either off tomorrow, for the weekend or had one day left of their own little ‘stretch.’ It was hilarious. Tomorrow i would’ve done ‘five’ and I’ll have ‘five’ more to tinker with. (I’ve even got a spot today. Only a little one. But I never get spots. The Beauty Gods usually bless me without adult acne. Just the stress rash. Lol)
Anyway enough about my day. I had a lot on my mind. i’ve got a lot going on in and out of work. I’m single mummying. I’m loving it. But i have a lot of lash line work, other work and all sorts that I’m sort of juggling with and plate spinning with a wink. I’m fine. As i am at my strongest when i’m in this position. I can juggle anything…Infact, I can do anything…but have a decent love life. 🙂 I swore down to Victoria today, that it’s always the hot girls that end up single all the time, because we have more choices so get to pick badly more often. Hahaha. It takes us longer to find our ‘Mr.Perfect’ because we are forced on a ‘detour’ via ‘no hopers’ who assure us they care about us…but don’t. Right now, Victoria has her Mr.Right…and she found him in her early 40’s and like she said…some people meet the guy of their dream at 20 and live happily ever after, and some people don’t. I don’t think there’s any rules to love…as long as you end up finding it. The good kind. Told you..hot chicks are sent on ‘detours’ before Mr. Everything! 🙂 (Oh shut up, i’m an ego maniac and I don’t care. I’ve just completed Day 4 of my 10 day work stretch, and everyone else is out having fun…so you can all just go with it and clink wine glasses with me to the Wunna ‘pity party.)
But yes, longest day ever….was simply mulling around..and then out of nowhere, Victoria popped in..I heard her voice…’Chrissie?’ And it immediately brought a smile to my little ninja heart, as she follows my blog, knows me anyway, we’re actually becoming great friends, like i just seem to have just pull towards her, this great respect for her. I’d been talking to her for ages…and she’s read and been there along my recent life journey…but I hadn’t actually gotten to see her in the flesh in AGES…so it felt really great to stir her a cuppa tea and have a giggly, Girl God chat! (Remember that Victoria is my sassy, Girl God life mentor. She instructed me all the way from cocktails in Tenerife with her ‘Handsome Guy,’ when she was *hooked* on me meeting the Spanish Doctor and wanted to help me ace my First date, with the ‘seal the deal’ advice!) In fact, she made me feel great today because she said, because the Wifi was not always on top form in Spain, she had to screen shot parts of my blog, whenever it was working, just so she could read it. Made me feel all honoured. Then i got all big headed. 🙂 However, you can’t get too big headed around ‘Sexy Vic’ as she’s just a total glamour puss..I mean, she had dashed in from a SIX AND A HALF MILE RUN (she’s doing the London Marathon shortly) and she looked like she was in her 20’s and flawlessly beautiful. AFTER A SIX AND A HALF MILE RUN. No one has sex appeal after a six and half mile run…except Victoria! Lol. I’d flipping look like Jackie Chan in labour, if i went for cups of tea after a bit of a run. (That’s why i adore her. We all love a Glamour puss.)
Right, long story short, we got talking and nothing is better than a good girly chat on a Friday before the end of your work day. I needed it that was for sure…especially because i didn’t have a wine. (When i picked Junior up from nursery he actually said out loud, ‘You smell of wine!’ Lol. I just looked at him, after i had RUSHED out of work, after watching thieves with Jenna, ready for video..but it didn’t work out…and said, ‘I WISH.’ Hahaha.)
I am currently sipping on a mojito in a can, with my new glitter iphone wrap in ‘rose gold’ laid next to me, as text messages are coming in, that i’m peeking at constantly.
Anyway, during our chat, she told me the magical fated story of how she met Guy her hubby to be. Her ‘life enhancer.’ (How sexy! They’re sexy!) She gave me advice on my own love life…because remember how I had Lee with me yesterday giving me his version of events during our supermarket shop…and well I love that Victoria jogged on in with her ‘Girl God’ voice to guide me appropriately because chicks know chicks…and well…I have absorbed her advice and will act upon it appropriately. What she did say to me was to do what makes me happy because in life..it’s those little moments of ‘happy’ that make our world perfect for a while, so whenever we feel them or have the chance to experience them…we should grab hold of them with two hands, thank life for them and enjoy! I AGREE!
Then we decided to throw a ‘Date a Dad’ party at the Quaker school where both our girls go, so i can be really hated…and talked about on Open day and Summer Balls! ‘I’m sure there’s some hot Dads at the school you can date Chrissie!!‘ HAHAHA. I love being a girl!
Then we just went on about how great we were. Hot hot we were. How lucky Victoria was with her love life…how good my cups of tea were, but i should’ve become a Doctor and how our unglam our jobs felt. Then she reminded be of how men don’t want to be with you, yet at the same time, don’t want anyone else to have you.
It was GREAT! Like this mojito…it made my Friday and my Day 4 worth it…just for that last half hour chat! It saved me from making Brett hit me with a broom by a unicorn.
I love life. (FYI, Victoria likes the Spanish Doctor for me, right now. It’s early days…but i think she’s rooting for him! However, she did say that i was to do what actually made ME happy…regardless…and i always think, that no matter what and no matter what circumstances you’re in or facing….you’ve just got to go for what you want…)
Sometimes in life, you just need to take a *moment* to hit *pause,* pull your tight knotted bun out, slip into your comfies (whatever you feel comfortable in..for me it’s obviously nipple tassels. Hardly! And just have a bit of a sing song..)
Go for it! *Wunna helps you let loose.* Musical therapy is apparently really good for you…along with light therapy, usual therapy and cocktails?
Fun, Summer, appropriate for Moi song…
And i’ve given you the words, just so you don’t have to make them up. Always annoying when you accidentally sing the wrong words, thinking you sort of knew them like the gospel. Even worse when you do it front of someone else and weirdly style it out, like it was meant to happen. *Been there.*