Loyalty, Life & Male Models

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Me: ‘He doesn’t fancy you because you’re a swimmer & he’s a male model.’

Vanny B: ‘But he should. I can swim places. I have trophies and shit.

Me: ‘Male models, are surrounded by female models ALL DAY, for work. They’re in an industry littered with the most beautiful women, and they themselves are classed as the most handsome men. Every single male model I know…has a model wife….not a swimming one. Lol.’

Vanny B: ‘But i’m in a dress…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but if SHE wore that dress, she’d look all petite, delicate and fragile. She where’s it well, because it’s her job. Throw HER, in a pool…She ain’t gonna out swim you. But whocares. Men aren’t arsed about about swim offs. They don’t pick wives on their swimming ability. I even bet that some professional male swimmers date models. Haha.’

Vanny B: ‘There are times when I love you, but today you’re such a bitch. Lol.’

I’m sassy today. But comfy! I had to take my jeans off and blog in just knickers and a top, with my legs in a sitting down ‘v’ shape and my pink laptop placed centrally inbetween. I felt all tight ans stuffly and to me that’s the worst feeling ever. I need to feel loose and comfy, in order to smash out a badass blog.

I’ve had to drag myself off instagram because it’s unhealthy for out souls. Obviously, my job is to be ‘social.’ I’m a blogger…a model…blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, I have to post daily and be all over it. YET, you can drive yourself nuts by trailing through everyone’s profiles. We waste so much time focusing on what other people are up to. We can get SO carried away and creative with it. It’s not always good. Now I just ‘post,’ leave it and ‘Thank’ the people who have taken the time to write me a comment.

(I always do that, because firstly I think it’s good manners and secondly…i’m far from stuck up. Nothing is worse to me, than stuck up talent. If you take away all the people who take the time to ‘Like/Comment/or Heart’ your content ‘socially’….then you no longer have an audience, you no longer have a social presence & you no longer have as much clout. And we’re in and still headed into a social generation. Your biggest stars of the future, WILL BE, your SOCIAL stars.

Like Gary V said, ‘Everyone thought that the TV star would never surpass the radio star….People were 10 years behind. Look what happened…It’s now the same with TV stars and Social Media stars….Start building your online business now. It doesn’t matter what field you are in…you can turn it ‘social.’

I’ve gone on a ramble. I do that! It’s shit. What was I gonna say? I got a great Snapchat from the girls this morning…filled with ‘whispers’ and giggles. I love being a girl, it’s so cute.

I’m having a decent day today. I’m checking through all my collabos and going through the ones that are well suited. It’s exciting. Lots of  ‘anti ageing’ skincare is coming my way. Lol. I’ve got the BMC email which is owned by the delighted Saffron Drewitt Barlow and Venom, which came via ‘Diags’ from Towie.

I also have shoots for brands, shoots for content and shoots for kicks. What am I on about? Nothing is for kicks.

What you need to know is that I’m loving it. I have the best job in the world, because all i’m doing is my own life…and it’s a business now. Lol.

I had really great ‘messaging‘ last night before bed and when you ‘happy message’ before bed..be it chipper or sexy…It’s always delightful. I’m naturally sexy and naturally chipper.  It helps you have the most blissful 40 winks, doesn’t it. I like going to be bed feeling somewhat adored…All of us do… We sleep better.

It kinda made me flash backed some of the moments, that we had shared, then I realized that a whole year had almost passed. That’s crazy!

He actually received meal time selfies from Wunna Land yesterday. I mean, who wouldn’t adore me, right!?! 😉 I’m fun. It’s all exciting.

But, being smart… I take everything with a ‘pinch of salt’ until I have it in my hand. (Even though I wear my heart on my sleeve.) I just don’t wanna get let down and look stupid…AGAIN. Lol.

I mean there’s always things like ‘loyalty’ and ‘thoughtfulness‘ that I always try and look for. To me, they’re things that go without saying and I’m the most loyal human. Flirty, but loyal.

It’s just something you witness over time, isn’t it…

Right, I need to get out and about and shoot some more content. It’s the most gorgeous afternoon in Yorkshire today.

I’m feeling really lucky.

Kisses,

Chrissie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dreams Come True, Success & My Sassy Little Fan Page

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I was driving through Badsworth, this morning, the air was fresh..a little nippy, yet weirdly warm. The January skies were filled with a wistful smokiness…a lightness of glee, that glistened with beams of bright whiteness. The sun was calm, yet radiated over my little patch of Yorkshire, with a burst of strength that could only ever be described as happiness.

Right now, I feel like the happiest and the luckiest girl in the world. I might not have everything, but what I do have is just amazing. We kinda spend so much time stressing over the things that we DON’T HAVE, that we forget to really look, step back and appreciate the things that WE DO HAVE going on in our lives, don’t we?

However, saying that…Please do LIVE, take chances and gambles where it’s worth it and only do the things that make your heart bloom with passion. If you’re stuck in something that isn’t right, that isn’t gonna get you, to that place where you finally sit back, kick off ya shoes, breathe and relax with happiness… Then it’s not worth it.

You’ll know if somethings right, because you’ll feel it. Your gut instinct is the most powerful tool you have. You’ll know if somethings right because you’ll love it, you’ll feel passion for it…be it a job, a lifestyle…or someone you care about…and that passion will never ever go away…

Life will always lead you right back there….Right back to it…Right back to them….

So, yes…RIGHT NOW, I might not have everything, my heart ever wished for, but still, i’m the luckiest and happiest kitten in the world. I’ll get there, when i’m meant to…

I’ve worked hard through my life and GOD, so much has happened! Bad shit! GREAT SHIT. It’s been filled with swashes of madness and ‘colour’…I’ve had the most remarkable ‘UP’s,’ the most hilarious ‘downs’ and  the most unbelievable ‘samba’ of achievements.

Right now, it feels like it’s only just the beginning….and I have no clue why, as i’ve been knocking about for ages! Lol. I’m not someone who doesn’t feel accomplished. I’m happy with my ‘tick sheet.’ I’m loving my time back here. I adored growing up in LA. Entertainment has been my life, my passion and because.. good or bad, it a job that makes people ‘feel’ and I love that.

I always tell you when i’m not doing well. I write this diary honestly. I might miss out bits, that I keep to myself personally, yet over an ‘almost’ decade, I’ve pretty much told you everything.

I’ll tell you now…

I’m doing REALLY WELL..

..and i’ve always done alright…Right now, I’m doing really well.

Finally at 37, that Wunna ship is magically a sailing and I am celebrating merrily, with cocktails and a shocked ‘can’t even believe it’ face. I took a chance on a new chapter…and I proved to myself that only doing the things that make you happy is where your success lies. Dreams come true!

SO, I’LL WELCOME YOU TO WUNNA LAND.

MY LAND.

Bring a bottle… 😉

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Why do I keep being so ‘preachy?’ I guess, i’m feeling motivational? I think it’s because I read Tila Tequila’s moronic speech on how homophobia, porn and all people who wear makeup should perish in hell. It’s apparently ‘sorcery’…the ‘Devils’ work and she then went on to state how happy she would be, if everyone of the above ‘label’ DIED She proudly states that she says prayers wishing for that to happen… every single night…

Erm…? That’s not really polite, now is it? Nice and cheery! Good work Tila! What an idiot!

It just made me realise that when you have a voice, an audience….it’s really important to use that voice positively, in good humour, or in hope to inspire…where no harm is caused.

I get that she’s been through a hard time in life. I get it. Infact I know exactly what she’s been through. I know what LA Life is like, I know what being in the glamour modelling industry is like. I know what entertainment is like…I get it. But that girl,  has completely lost her mind and needs help….Needs love. I’m just not in the mood to give her any…. 🙂

I probably need a wine to chill my ‘high horse’ a second. But when horses are high, you might as well stay saddled.

(Saddled? Is that a thing? I know nothing about horses?? I only know that my Mum used to take me horse riding on Saturday’s when I was 7, until I gave it up for dancing school…and the ONLY OTHER time a horse came into my life, was when I accidentally found my LA roommates ‘porn drawer.’ He had a whole DVD dedicated to hot chicks having sex with horses…? He was a lawyer… 🙂 ) 

Thank you for all the love, i’m getting on my ‘socials.‘ I love the Wunna Fan Page banter on Facebook. There’s tons of gents that we leave me messages all day and i’m grateful for it, as i love it when people engage with that I’m doing…Yet, my REAL LIFE guy friends, who are WONDERFUL and who i’ve known since I was a teenager…have started ‘chirping in’ when they believe that the people looking into Wunna land,‘ are in sudden need of acold, COLD shower.’

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I think ‘Reuben’ once gave someone a lesson in chat up lines and referred to someone as a bit of a ‘perv.’  ‘Tomfri’ (only yesterday) gave someone a spelling test…and also decided to make sure ‘Jase the Wunna fan‘ knew his chat up line was less than ‘champion..’

‘Tom Pinto :  @Jase Tennant Smooth as Egyptian whiskey mate…’

My Facebook fanpage is brilliant. I spend my entire day on it replying to everyone…It needs it’s own show…without me in it! I have the best fans…They’re just such characters. They’re great! They even get into their own verbal fights in my comment stream…and I have to tell them to ‘play nicely.’ Everyone’s really complimentary…and i’m not gonna lie…It’s kinda a nice thing to wake up to and read every morning.

It makes me smile…

Every morning before 9am, I feel SO appreciated after a good old ‘comment read’ session. It’s a good way to start your day. It could be worse…and I know that from experience. So, I’m not complaining. I’m enjoying it!

I feel freee….

Right, I’m headed to bed now…It’s my Mum’s birthday in the morning, I’ve got a bunch of photos to post online and a jimble fo collabos to read through….I have a shoot tomorrow and I’ve got to get sorted for an audition, that I’m excited for!

Dreams come true. Miracles happen. Examples of such are around us constantly. They’re happening every single minute of every single day!

Notice them happening and know that it can happen to you toooo!

Kisses,

Chrissie

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Flat Caps, Prosecco & What I Think About Love

I’m totally sat in a quiet bar filled with gentlemen in tweed flat caps and it’s amazing. You know you’re in full blown Yorkshire when that happens and you know that the ‘flat caps’ aren’t bothered about Wunna Land. They just get to tending to their simple, happy, daily routine….Oriental girls who take selfies in dressing rooms, don’t matter, unless she’s buying them an afternoon..

‘Pint of Johns, please..’

I’ve been thinking about love recently. Probably because I’ve been chatting to all my friends, be they near or far… and most of them have chosen a really different existence to mine. I adore that. I love it when people own THEIR VERSION of life.

Everyone’s starting new chapters or relighting old ones, shaking off baggage, for more suited loves and no ones seems to be going ‘solo.’ Everyone seems all loved up. It’s everywhere. It’s everywhere I look…and yes, i think it’s wonderful…BUT…

I’M JEALOUS.

(Bad way to be…)

I love, love…but here I am, sat amongst the ‘flat caps’..in a corner on my laptop…alone…with my prosecco. I’m happy…I am. Who wouldn’t be with a morning prosecco? 😉 But GOSH, i’m ready for a bit of ‘cosy,’ dream come true, perfect kinda love now. I’m 37. Whop on that piece of armour, jump on that stallion and hurry yourself to Wunna Land.

Guy friend Fox: ‘You chose a different kind of life…and well you’re just too picky..’

Me: ‘You probably shouldn’t refer to yourself as not THAT picky when you’re just got engaged. lol’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘You’re picky…I think you’re picky. But I guess…’

Me: ‘No, but obviously I get a lot of love from my socials…but that’s not real…and well, whenever I like someone…they never like me back. Or if I do, we date and then something goes wrong…’

Guy Friend Fox: ‘Do you fancy someone now…?’

Me: ‘Yes…’

Guy Friend Fox: ‘Would they know that….?’

Me: ‘Yes…’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘Then what’s the problem…’

Me: ‘ No problem…I love that you’ve assumed that he must obviously adore me…’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘He must, or he’s blind, his bits don’t work or he has no sense of humour…’

(Lol…You can always count on your girls to make you feel mighty!) 

I kinda like ‘Firmonnell’ more, because she’ll tell it to me straight with a…

‘Cry me a river and all that, Now shut ya face and crack on.’

Yet is exceedingly supportive in all that I do. All of the girls are, Double B, Fairytale, Hustle, Mel, Lady Shizzle…the lot….

But back to lurve…

To me, there are three stages to love (and i’ve nicked this off Ellen Degeneres, my girl crush, who is happily married) …there is ‘HAPPY,’ followed by ‘LOVE...,’ followed by ‘COMPLETION.’

What stage are you at?

We’ve all been happy, we’ve all been in love….yet i’m at a stage where i kinda fancy being someones ‘completion…‘ I fancy that. Doesn’t everyone…? But isn’t that saying we can’t be happy or ‘complete’ by ourselves?

Wait, i’m being ‘negatory.’

We all want different things. We all have a different’ version of ‘completion.’ It’s such a lovely phase. I definitely don’t want to be 72, alone…with all my cats…and no company..and that’s coming from one of the most independent girls, who LOVES HER OWN company.

I’m one to just happily wait around, doing life merrily, making a name, making some money, loving my kids…under the conception that fate will simply throw ‘my hero’ at me… he’ll ‘roddle‘ up from his fall, look toward me and think..

‘AAAAH BLISS. COMPLETION. The only girl I could ever share my entire life with!’

Guy friend Fox: ‘I love how you’ve just read out ‘someone’ like it can be anyone….’

Me: ‘SHUT UP LOL. I’m writing my blog! Get me a drink..’

Chick friend: ‘Do CAREER FIRST Wunna… You could’ve been a star right now, if you didn’t waste previous time on dickheads from 2000 and something past. Total planks. You’ve never been treated well enough.’

Me: ‘Get me a drink.. Ooh, my agent’s Whatsapped me.. And shush, I AM DOING CAREER. I’m loving career. *&&*&*****$£$!!’

Away from all that. I’m excited about life. More good work news came today and I’ve just signed up to THREE MORE collabo’s which you don’t have to worry about, because you will know when WUNNA LAND has shimmied into their world. I also have two more auditions. Good ones….

I currently have my

‘MAKE WUNNA YOUR SCREENSAVER..’

..competition going on. Mainly on my Facebook fanpage. You save me as your phone or laptop screensaver…inbox me the shot and you will recieve a personally photographed and signed photo from me…to you…that no one else will have…

IF YOUR SCREENSAVER MAKES TOMORROWS BLOG…

You will also WIN a VIDEO MESSAGE FROM ME.

I’m loving all the screensavers that are coming in! They’re great and i’m rubbish at running comps and being able to deal with it all. But i want to interact with you all more and bring you into my world. My diary. This diary.

I’m getting lots of SOCIAL LOVE. It is so hard to keep up with all the replying, but i’m trying my best and only replying to my ‘comments’ or any current screensaver inbox pics.

Replying is so difficult when it comes in MASS LOADS, cos part of me can’t find the time…without being on my phone all day…yet that is kinda my job. …so what am I moaning about? Then I don’t want anyone to feel ‘left out,’ so I don’t want to only reply to some and not them all…It’s all very tragic. Lol…

Kinda makes me need prosecco.

But I appreciate the love…

Here are some of the pics you’ve missed, if you haven’t been following my Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter or Instagram…

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One of my good guy friends, who plays,..’London Business Man‘ in this merry little blog, is currently messaging me and giving me a lecture on ‘nudity.’ Followed with a..

‘Listen, I think you look mind blowing. You know that.I completely fancy you.  So I’m not judging you…but…/Don’t even give me the, i’ve got a jumper on line…’

I don’t need a lecture. I’m a grown up. I think my pics are great. I wave the flag for womanhood and for women being MORE CONFIDENT, in ANY WAY WE CHOOSE….And technically, if you can’t see a jumper, then SIR, you are simply BLIND.

LECTURE OVER.

FYI/ Dear any future friends or  ‘Completions…’ You have to be okay with Wunna Land, or I will rebel and not like you.

Hurrah!

Happy Tuesday!

Chrissie! x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing Like A Wonderbra…

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Ah! This is my FIRST DAY of ABSOLUTE 2018 BLISS! I’m giddy and filled with kitty excitement. The New Year has officially *kicked* it’s pretty self IN and I am *PURRING* WITH A DELICIOUS SWIRL OF READINESS. I feel GREAT TODAY. I feel Wonderful! And luckily for you…like the lurgy, it’s contagious. However, absolutely and of COURSE, it is far MORE glamourous!

I’m feeling great! Wunnaful! You know when you just get that rush…that CRAZY rush of excitement that *zooms* through your body and bursts out of your seams. That’s how i’m feeling today. There’s a *buzz* about this land that I call ‘Wunna.’

To say i’m so excited, I’ve had a simple morning really…Woke up, cuddled the babies, stroked my kitten ‘Rocco,’ nibbled on breakfast, (I’m still being rubbish at dieting) and sipped my black coffee.

The rest of the day was spent at Wonderbra, being fitted into every delicious bra, in all of the mighty land.

In my mind…You can’t start the year without a decent ‘strap in’ bra, which will act as your ‘go to’ Battle Wear, through times of trial and trouble. That’s a fact. It’s a glamour pusses rule. It’s the bra you will always pick up, when you need that bit of comfort…The bra that will ‘party’ with you, go on ‘date night’ with you and keep you cosy, when you just feel like a duvet day.

This is what 2018 is about. Planning ahead. 🙂 Life isn’t gonna get me this year. I’m ahead of the game. I’m all prepared for any sort of ‘rug pull’ or dodgy surprise, that might decide to *pop* up out of nowhere and cause me any stress…OR EVEN WORSE heartache.

I mean, I’ve always played along with life and that’s why it’s been good to me. I’ve bounced back so many times, that it’s now either terrified of me or just cut me some slack.

*Air Kisses…Winks!*

This year, I’m armed with preparation.

Before..and for many years, life would frisbee a ‘bonanza’ at me and I’d let it whack me in the face, pick it up and then i’d mould it correctly, with tears in my eyes, before throwing the Frisbee back. (The process was long.)

This year. Oh yes Dolls! I’m all over it. Life will frisbee a ‘bonanza,‘ completely miss me and whack the person behind me (with lessons still to learn) in the face..so that they can mould, or just let the plug hole swirl them in.

Bottom line…You need a good bra for all this! 🙂

(I’m literally the best blogger in all the land. I even crack MYSELF UP. Poor brands. Haha!)

I spent my entire morning to afternoon in the delicious arms of Wonderbra. Now, incase you didn’t know,  I adore Wonderbra simply because it reminds me of my childhood. My teenage years. Their campaigns were always fun and we all needed a Wonderbra to feel sexy.  It’s such a classic old school brand, with a fresh, new modern day twist. And as we know…that is my specialty.

I spent my morning there.

So, yes, I’m meant to be some Glamour Puss extraordinaire…Yet let me tell you, I had the most HILARIOUS TIME. You do not even KNOW what has to go on, to get fitted into ANY lingerie or bra.

Wonderbra is a GOOD QUALITY brand, so the bra’s themselves are made so well and fit almost perfectly like a corsets, for your boobs. You can feel the quality of that bra, when in one and it’s that quality (like anything in life) that makes you feel SEXY. It made me feel so glamourous, so dignified, so filled to the brim with feline POWER.

So, this is what will happen when I go to bra fitting. I’ll saunter in, pick around four bra’s off the rails, that I THINK are my size?  I’ll always get it wrong, but nonetheless I’ll get the bra in every colour and all styles, to see what suits me best.

In the fitting room, all the clothes fly off and like today, the most adorable and warmest Yorkshire lady, almost like a cuddly, loving Mum sauntered into my fitting area and began fitting me into these bras.

It was hilarious. She was amazing. At one point I was completely topless, still in my jeans and knee high boots, bent forward like a juicy Burmese ‘plank,’ as she tried to strap me into my Wonderbra of choice… like it was my new sassy suit of armour.

She knew exactly what she was doing, as her giant tape measure dangled around her neck and we laughed every single minute of every single moment. If anyone was to walk past my fitting…you’d definitely question what ON THIS EARTH was going on!

Fitter: ‘This is too big…It’s far too big on your back. I need to grab you a different size.’

Me: ‘Yeah, But i like the black one better! How can it be do big? I’m a 34 E.’

Fitter: ‘Here, try this one. Bend over, let me fasten you in, cos you need to FALL your chest into it…Lean forward….It’s a 32 F.’

Me: ‘Can I try it in beige also? I like the strapless classic look..’

Fitter: ‘Your back’s small, your cups big. Let me fasten you in and grab you 3 more bras to try on..’

Then as a million bra’s swung around me…

( It was the actual height of utter glamourosity. Nothing was more ‘kitten like’ or spectacular. All it needed was a confetti shower…and a butler pouring us champagne.)

Anyway, as a million bras swung around me and I delighted in the comfort of femininity. But let me tell you, during ANY Wunna Land fitting, when I find the bra or lingerie I like, I will then prance and pose in front of the mirror, for a good 10 minutes per outfit. (WHEN I LIKE THEM.) Then after that 10 minutes, I will then pull out my phone and selfie in my outfit, until I get a good photo. 🙂 I’ll even warm up and do test shots. Lol.

   

I’ll forget that anyone else is there. Then i’ll realize and apologize sincerely. (I’m well mannered. 😉 )

Me: ‘I am SO SORRY. Look at me. I’m in this mirror thinking i’m Pamela Anderson or something. Haha.’

Fitter: ‘Shush you, you’re alright. I wish I looked like you in that bra. Prance away, you look so happy!’

(Fitters are always AMAZING, because they WILL ALWAYS make you FEEL BEAUTIFUL. They’re job is to make you feel good and FIT YOU. 🙂 ) 

Then i’ll moan that my hair wasn’t right and take more selfies… do more poses…

Before finally agreeing that the world is now a safer kitten place to live in and that I’ll now FEEL GREAT in my bra/lingerie.

(Incase you didn’t know, when it comes to the art of modelling…of the glamour variety…it is how an outfit makes you FEEL, that makes a great picture, not JUST about how you look in it. Nothing is worse than ‘dead eyes.’)

Anyway, done! Dusted! Happy as can be!

One of the best brands. One of the best services. One of the best bras that I have ever at the honour of wearing. I honestly couldn’t have FELT SEXIER. I could wear my strapless Wonderbra, all day, every day and feel like a absolute QUEEN! I felt ‘regal’ yet sexy! I felt powerful and we women love a bit of power don’t we! 😉

They’re like treasure.

Buy yourself a Wonderbra.

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But Baby it’s Cold Outside…

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It’s cold kittens, isn’t it? It’s ‘nippy…nippy…dooo…daaa’ and I am FREEZING. If I hate anything, I hate being cold. I’m all about the heaters being blasted on ‘FULL’ and a warm bowl of comfort food.  I can’t even DEAL with the chills of jiggery pokery, tinkering up my kitty spine. I’m far too EXOTIC to function under such circumstances.

Rubbish Friend: ‘You were born in DONCASTER, Wunna!!’

But whatever, that’s beside the point :)…. like anything ‘Ninja,’ I’m sure  IT’S IN MY BLOOD. I’m 100 percent Burmese. I spent 10 years growing up in LA! It’s all ‘warm, warm, give me some.’ It was the coldest day in all of the land, in Yorkshire today and I braced it in a Little Mistress faux fur. (I’ve over worn that Faux Fur, but it’s such a goody, that I just have to keep the roll going.)

I can’t even MOVE, when i’m cold, let alone BE USEFUL. A number of people attempted to force me useful today.  If you want me to be useful…don’t make me cold. Simples! (Radiators R’US. Live for HEAT. Let’s hang with the Fire Brigade, to make us feel warm. 😉 )

As you can imagine, I froze and pulled faces all day and….it rocked. I didn’t even do it for attention. Lol. I might have completed the COLDEST WALK IN ALL THE WORLD, with a chick named Beth.

‘Why is it so ******* COLD! I might die!!’

YET, f i’m being honest, even though the temperatures are dodgy, I kinda LOVE WINTER.

It’s more magical than Summer, isn’t it? Summer’s a fun season, but it’s a SELFISH season. In Summer, we’re all about ourselves. It’s flings and flamingos.

Winter is my favourite because, we commit to knitted jumpers, crackling fires, Gucci scarves, one more mulled wine, * pom pommed* gloves and surrender to kindness, merriment and reflection.

We cant help it.

It’s cuddles, it’s family traditions, it’s ‘Santa magic’ and glass *clinks* with your dearest friends. I love Winter. It’s my favourite. It may be cold, but whocares…I have a BIRTHDAY In 19 DAYS! I love Winter. 🙂 (All gifts appreciated. Just *volley* arm them into Wunna Land.)

So, I haven’t been able to blog over the last couple of days because I haven’t found the time. Time hasn’t found me. I’ve been working all days, most days and then being Mum, with a jolly side of sorting out the good old career. 🙂 I’m gonna shock ya.

I hope to have a really GREAT next year and if i’m gonna do that…I’m gonna have to put in the work. I have juggled and jiggled and worked my ‘pattooyi* off THIS year…and more than you would think.

NEXT YEAR, I finally get to fully celebrate life. Even though i get moments of second guessing myself, I’m feeling quite ‘swag’ about it all. It’s human nature to have doubts at times. People do make you feel bad for having doubts at times….But don’t. It’s normal. It isn’t that deep. All that matters is that you make the nerves temporary, and stiletto kick them out your way. I’m good at that. I’m really good at that. I’m really good at helping OTHERS do that!

Right now, i’m feeling pretty ‘gangsta,’ with a sophisticated, ‘Dior’ dripped strut. (Definitely did TI’s ‘You don’t know me’ video in my bedroom mirror, with a Desperado in my hand, this evening…and i don’t even CARE.)

Let’s have some fun now! It’s Christmas.

Over the last few days, i’ve been with the girls. Mel’s had a bird poo on HER ACTUAL FACE….Oh the glamour!

Me: ‘What? It’s lucky.’

Mel: ‘It pooed on my actual FACE!!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ bought burgundy jumpsuits, ‘Hustle Barbie’ received surprise and somewhat romantic Vegan packages at work, ‘Double B’ froze and referred to old peoples privates as ‘crusty bacon’ and ‘Firmmonell’ did my favourite place with ‘Big D’ via Snapchat!

‘We’re in your favourite place!!!’

Everyone else is ill. 🙂

Yipppppppppppeeee! Don’t come near me with your lergy!!

I’m going through a massive change in my life and I’m really excited. It’s weird because it proves that even when you’re old, greta things can still happen. Don’t give up hope. Age means nothing. It’s not about how many YEARS you’ve strutted, and more about HOW YOU STRUT….Make impact…it’s sexier.

At thirty six, i’m feeling really together,  but a whole lot of fun. It’s snowing outside, I have a contract beside me and I’m looking forward to Christmas.

If you didn’t know, for my birthday week I am away at the luxury Forest Cabin, with Forest Holidays. I always go there, because it’s a place of HUGE sentimental value to me. It’s one of the only places that I find peace and before a big next year, I’m gonna need that. I’ve had a great 2017. But 2018 will be much easier. I’m ready now.

I’m lucky.

This weekend I have WARM fun with Ruby and Junior planned, ‘Hustle Barbie’s birthday dinner in Leeds at Bar Soba and on Monday one of my BEST LA FRIENDS, Ronnie Woo is coming to London to lunch with me….

He’s a marvellous celebrity chef in LA and i’ll be telling you all about him soon. I can’t WAIT for Monday. I love Ronnie. He’s like a little brother to me. I’ve known him since he was 19 and at the time, we were both working a  part time job at a gym, scanning people like ‘before they were famous’ Nicole Scherzinger and Perez Hilton in for a work out. That time was such a great time in my life. Young Hollywood rocked.

But I waited a long time…and it was only now that SO MUCH is happening to me! So much, that I don’t even know where to start???

There’s lots I CAN tell you. Lots that  I CAN’T . And so much that I NEED to tell you…. BUT, right now, all  I WILL say is, that on the work front, things are really great in Wunna Land. I’ve got lucky.  It’s about to heat up…and you’ll be invited on my journey with me. ( I don’t know how this little diary got so big? Yet, I’m grateful. I don’t take anything for granted. I’m not like that. I really do thank you for reading it…even when it’s rubbish.)

I guess, I feel like i need to say that, as everyone always thinks that i’m really ‘pr’ driven and i’m not. I couldn’t be more different to that. It’s almost humourous. I mean, I’m not an idiot. I know when to ‘turn it on.’ I’m an entertainer. It’s what i do. I love to entertain. But i’m not one of these ‘robots,’ who doesn’t have a soul. I’m not a slave to it all. My soul is filled with Prosecco bubbles and brims over with winks, love and a natural ‘joie de vivre.’

At thirty six, I’m pretty much stuck in my ‘no nonsense’ ways. I’m not easily swayed. I stick to my guns and go with what I believe is morally right. I don’t play. I’m grown. And you’d know that if you met me. I’m the salt of the Earth.

And YEAH…I’m a bit glammy, sprinkled in boujiness and dashed in ‘swag.’ And YEAH, there’s a weird elegant dignity about me, with a cheeky upfront charm…. I enjoy the finer things in life and the world in general…

Yeah…i’ll agree that i’m  sassy….But unlike most, i’ll sit with you in a bar, treat you like you’re human and share a drink with you over banter.  I won’t even have to know you. I’ll love you, before I judge you….and that’s what makes me real. If i like you, i’ll smile. If I don’t.. you’ll feel it.

I’m someone who will say ‘sorry’ and not because I always think i’m wrong and that YOU’RE always right, but because I’m someone who will value my relationship with you, MORE than my ego.

*Slurps Desperado.*

People never know that about me.

I need to go…

I HAVE LOTS TO TELL YOU…

RIGHT NOW, I just can’t get it out….

Hollywood Flashbacks, Swirls & Life

I’m feeling quite wonderful. Everything in my life right now, at thirty six is changing… and believe it or not…. for the absolute better. I’m growing up. No, that’s the wrong way to put it. I’ve grown up. And as the world is following my entire existence online via this diary. I can honestly say that I’ve never ever felt more together, more comfortable, more positive and kinda like the girl..the woman, that i always wanted to be. It took a long time…but for the first time, in that ‘long time,’ I can look back on my life. Look at everything i’ve tinkered in and tonkered with and actually SEE how far i’ve come, how much i’ve developed and how proud I am of the person I am today. I’m finding my ‘happy place.’ No.I’ve found my ‘happy place.’ And just to know that I’ve fought all the fights. I’ve danced with all the danger. I’ve lived. I’ve loved. I’ve been thrown down the ‘life stairs’ a million times over. Every time, I got back up. Even when I didn’t think I could. And every time I did, I took a deep breathe and marched forward (glamorously ofcourse 😉 ) with all the hope, all the faith and a smile on my face that knew everything, no matter WHAT, was going to be okay.

I’ve literally woken up all over the world and gone through the exact little procedure each time. I’ve worked so hard. I’ve loved and had my kitten heart broken over and over again. I’ve won some. I’ve lost some. But I’ve enjoyed every single little piece of my life so far. I’ve been thankful for it. Even the shit bits.

I’ve achieved so much, yet at the same time conquered all the rubbish that comes with the ‘ouchy’ parts. The parts of life, when the rug just gets pulled from under you, without warning and when you still have a prosecco in your hand. It made me who I am today. It made me mates with life. Best mates. And today in return, because of the friendship i’ve had with life, it kinda decided to cut me some slack.

So today, i’m gonna tell you, that you can be whoever you want to be, if you just make mates with life. It doesn’t matter how easy or hard you have it. See it. Believe. Make it yours.

It’s bizarre that i’m being so preachy, as my day started off hilariously. I sent ‘the swirl’ my usual morning message. I do every morning to wish him love. If I love or care about someone, it’s important for me, to make sure I tell them every day. Anything can happen. So i make sure the people I appreciate, KNOW that I do.

Anyway, I had texted out these really rubbish arrows as pointers with the words ‘this much’ typed between them. He replied with a..

‘Just that much. Haha.’

🙂

The rest of the conversation went…

‘Don’t get me started, you know what i’m like. I’ll end up sending you a truck load of dwarves dressed as Cupid, with I LOVE YOU tattooed on them.’

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ll go for it with ‘skin to the wind.’ I’m embarrassing on every level. But to me, things are perfect with ‘The Swirl.’ He’s just…well, I think he’s wonderful. I can’t stop thinking he’s wonderful…and that… on it’s own… is just so great. He makes my soul smile.

Then Mel sent me a group whatsapp picture of her giant bum bruise. She fell over the other night at the bar, stone cold sober, because the building was apparently made dodgily. Lol.

‘Those bloody steps at ABA.’

Hustle Barbie graced my world with a ‘Sandy from Grease’ wig. It arrived via post at around 10am and just chilled by her side like some creepy pet.

 ‘Alex said I look more like Margaret Thatcher.’

‘You look like Lily Savage.’

Then ‘Lady Shizzle’ informed us that she too was headed to a fancy dress party….as a..what’s it called? Those chicks that you see serving beer at the Bierkeller. Lol.

I don’t know where all these flipping ‘Fancy dress’ parties are coming from?

Me: ‘That’s fine. You all go to your parties. I’ll just show up at Firmonnells in fancy dress for kicks on a Saturday night.’

Firmonnell: ‘You need to do that. I have friends over Saturday night. I’ll text them all and make them all come in Fancy dress. Lol’

I do adore a bit of dress up. But I only really ever shimmied out a fancy dress number, in LA. And when I did, I was only ever a slutty cave girl or a belly dancer? So odd?

*FLASHBACK*

Remember the time I told you that I saved Gay Brandon’s life, after climbing to the top of a West Holywood apartment ROOF, DRESSED in my full slutty cave girl attire and WITH A FUCKING MANGO MARGARITA IN MY HAND. I properly saved his life. I really did!! He didn’t even want to live, until I showed up on that merry rooftop…to chill with him, under the stars…with my cocktail banter and stream of life lessons. Everyone was just sort of muddling around being worried. Understandably, ofcourse. I mean, they weren’t TOO worried. Let’s face it. It was Hollywood. We all had auditions ad early shoots we had to get to in the morning.

I don’t even know what came over me, but i just took it upon myself to go save him. Lol. Half way up, I was like…‘Ewww, I should just leave him up there.’ Haha. Great friend! But once you’ve tried to play ‘hero,’ you’ve just godda with it, don’t you…

Me: ‘You don’t really want to jump off this roof, do ya? Let’s just sit, have a drink, have a chat and well…if you do jump, i’m not coming with you. I’m at Warner Bros at 8.30am. Hahaha.’

Brandon: ‘Thank God your here. I’ve missed your face. I knew you’d come up. You’re stupid like that.’

Me: ‘Are you jumping because you’re gay, troubled, or sick of LA?’

Brandon: ‘Lol…because I don’t know who I am or what I am anymore? And I might even be BI?’

Me: ‘Oh, so you like girls AND guys. Cool. Great news. Can we go back down now…. And don’t be dramatic over the sick of LA thing. We’re all sick of it here, but we’re living it to the world like we love it…cos that’s what we do. We’re entertainers. Get off my drink.’

I don’t know why I went on that tangent? Brandon and I are still really good friends to this day. I remember that moment so vividly. I guess being a 20 something Angeleno wasn’t all it was cracked up to be at times. To be honest. I actually loved it. You could say i was made for it. Not because i was oh so ‘Hollywood.’ I was always a little girl from Yorkshire who had moved to the City of Angels, young..with nothing but an eye for stardom and a suitcase. I was made for that town because I was tough. Emotionally tough. I thank Hollywood for everything, because it sort of turned me into a solid adult.

I can’t even describe how great I feel today. I’m loving this blog, I’m whirled in opportunity, I’m loving being a mum, my love life isn’t rubbish, work is great, I’m settling in and settling down. I’m loving being a grown up. I look forward to being a wife one day, building a bigger family, feeling fulfilled and being happy. I’m counting all my blessings as they’re tinkering in and i couldn’t be more grateful for them.

Today I feel unstoppable.

So each time you fall…please promise me that you will AT LEAST TRY to get back up…..

 

 

 

 

 

Your Questions & Answers

Q: Are you Thai?

A: No, I’m Burmese. But good guess. I always say people are either from the sophisticated part of Asian where they do skyscraper business, play violins and invent ipods. I’m from the slutty part of Asian, where it’s all golden palaces, magic and lagoons.

Q: Worst thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?

A: I could write a book on this. Once this weird guy tried to feel me up on display furniture in LA. He said he wanted to ‘spit in my mouth’ too! Haha! I had to get my guy roommate to show up and pretend he was my boyfriend. That was on a first and last date. Another time I got thrown across an entire Mexican restaurant Lol…I’m laughing but it was actually awful. Funny cos we’re good friends now. That night I accessorised with a blood stained clutch. Another time I got stood up…and that by far was the worse….Just chilling…on my own…on what looked like my PRETEND date….lol. TRAGIC.

Q: You’ve been pretty successful so far…How successful are you hoping to be?

A: I’m ambitious and driven. I want to be the hugest success in my ‘niche,’.. EVER. I want to smash it! Glamourously ofcourse….

Q: Is being a mum of two hard, when there’s just you?

A: It’s been great so far. Yeah, ofcourse it’s not easy but I have so much help and our world ‘Wunna Land’ as we call it … is filled with so much love that i’m really lucky. If anything it’s made me more organized, more determined…and made me feel like i have a purpose. It keeps me young, shows me what love is, helped the wine industry threefold and made me grow up…..fast. J

Q: What couldn’t you live without?

A: Family. Music. Love

Q: Worst physical feature?

A: My Feet. I hate them. I hate feet. They’re weird.

Q: What are you scared of?

A: Crossing roads. Sounds loopy. But honestly, I’m terrified. I once got run over outside Sushi Roku in West Hollywood. I weirdly just got back up, giggled and walked on. I remember looking at the guy, who had rushed out of his car, after hitting into me. He had his baby daughter in the car….He turned white with shock and was shaking. It made me feel bad for him, so I just looked up, got up and said ‘I’m fine, don’t worry’ and walked on. IT FUCKING KILLED. I flashback it whenever I cross a road.

Q: How will you know if you have found your Mr.Right?

A: You know when you know. I’ve had loads of experience at Mr.Wrongs. I’m thirty six. I know what i’m doing these days. J With me it’s always a chemistry, a friendship, a lover, someone who sees the world through the same eyes, a family man, someone who can stand the test of time and a real man who knows how to love a woman.

Q: If you could go back in time and be anything what would it be?

A: A Spice Girl .

Q: Favourite colour?

A: Was yellow, now it’s pink

Q: Motto you live by?

A: That dreams come true…

Q: Reality show you’d most like to be on?

A: Strictly Come Dancing. God! I’d love it. Plus, I’d feel challenged so I’d work hard at it. I already have loads of experience in bantery reality tv…I find it easy, so I’d like to be put through my paces, so to speak.

Q: Everyone says you’ve written the new ‘Sex And The City?’ How does that make you feel?

A: Yeah, I love it. I’m currently be hailed the UK’s Carrie Bradshaw. I read that in an article. It’s obviously amazing, such an honour and such a shock. One of my favourite shows of all time. So well written. If ‘Sex And The City’ & ‘The Bridget Jones Diary’..had a baby…it would be chrissiewunna.com.

Q: Weaknesses?

A: I love a cocktail far too much.

Q: Strengths?

A: I’m great at making people feel good. I’m also great when it comes to BIG LIFE PROBLEMS. I handle them with ease. I’m also totally non judgemental, you can literally tell me anything and i’ll understand you.

Q: Before the modelling, the blogging…the TV shows….what was your background?

A: I have a back ground in PR and I was a talent agent. I’ve been an Elf at a Grotto. A receptionist. All sorts. Before that the BEST JOB I HONESTLY EVER HAD was being the ‘Meet & Greet’ girl at Crunch Gym on Sunset in West Hollywood. I loved it. I’d go back and do it today….

Q: One of the girls or one of the guys?

A: Definitely one of the girls. I have the best chick friends. I love them more than they know. Plus, they always let me write about them, and I heart them for that! Haha. Saying that, i’m quite happy to kick it with the guys. My sense of humour is boyish. I have loads of guy friends.

Q: Do you still go clubbing?

A: No. I love a cocktail bar but I never enjoy heading to a club now that i’m an oldie. I’m really really social, so i love going out, yet i’m never at a club until 8am unless it’s a really special occasion.

Q: Your favourite genre of modelling?

A: Pin up/Boudior easy! I love all the ‘Old Hollywood’ glamourous pin up shoots. They’re dripping with decadence. They’re divine. I see so much beauty in them.

Q: What made you want to be a glamour model?

A: I don’t even know? I was just sat at a coffee shop in LA and got scouted and i thought it would be a good way to make money.That’s how it happened. Yet, stemming back into my childhood, I remember by Dad always used to have the annual Page 3 calendar and he loved the girls on it. (My mum was always cool with it. Lol) It kinda installed in my subconscious that they were the most beautiful girls in the world, whether they were or not, and simply because my Dad loved them. Hahaha.

Q: Would you let Ruby be a Glamour Model?

A: Absolutely not! It’s a no go. If she chose to be a lingerie model when she was older, then that’s fine, but nothing more than that. I’d be fuming. I’ve worked really hard all my life in order to provide for both children, meaning Ruby wouldn’t need to consider that as a job option. 🙂 I grew up needing to make money. She has the opposite case scenario. I’ve lived that life….and well it’s not something that I’d necessarily want her to go through. (I went on a rant then. Lol)

Q: Your relationship with the art of Attention?

A: I’m an attention whore. I’m not gonna lie to you and pretend i’m not. I love really peaceful moments, when i want peaceful moments, but only because I know ‘Wunna’ attention is going on somewhere. It’s a bad habit. But in the industry that I grew up in…if you didn’t gain the most attention you didn’t work. It mattered. Now with the blog, attention to it is vital because it’s become a business. Yet, i’m quite loyal to my morals so i’d never just do anything for a tiny bit of ‘look of me.’ I see that as ‘young.’ There’s a fun classiness to the 30 something version of me.

Q: Your idols?

A: My parents. They both did so well and started with nothing. They’ve kinda accidentally made me attracted to successful humans. I am so inspired by all successful people. I have so much respect for how much they’ve worked to get where they are. It’s not easy. They just make it look easy.

Q: Why do you love your blog?

A: I’ve documented my life daily for years. When i’m 80 years old, i’ll be able to look back on my time on this Earth and relive it all. I’ll cry into my brandy. (I hate brandy.)

Q: In your blog you give everyone fake names….are they real people? Why do you use fake names, if everything is so real?

A: Firmonnel, Fairytale, Double B, Hustle Barbie, The Swirl, Eton Mess etc…all of them are real people. They’re people who I have in my life daily, they’re not made up. I use ‘label names’ because as humans they’re entitled to their own privacy. Plus, I can freely write about them under their ‘alias names’ which keeps it ‘sexy’ and mysterious. I know who they are. They know you they are. To you…they could be anyone. It’s magical like a sassy fairytale. I hate it when people don’t think they’re all real humans and real stories….but only because I know that they are. I told you. I leave more out of my blog than I put in. So much more happens. I wouldn’t even dare tell you.

Q: Are you confident?

A: yes

Q: Are you insecure?

A: Yes..ofcourse

Q: Are you the girl who has everything?

A: No, I wish.

Q: In love you are…

A: Alive. I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m funny with it though. Not lame. Well…a bit lame.

Q: I take it you’re making a comeback….How is 2018 looking for you?

A: Well if all goes accordingly…wonderfully. Lol. I can’t even believe how well it’s all going right now. Opportunity kinda sprung up at me, out of nowhere…at the end of LAST year, something changed in me…I sorted myself out and worked really hard. Something happened that made me see life differently. I grew 10 ft tall.

Q: Life is…

A: To be enjoyed…I want everyone to find their ‘happy’ because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

Q: It’s important to…

A: Be grateful for all that you have and where you currently are in life. You might not have tomorrow, so appreciating your current situation is important, as you are exactly where you’re meant to be and there’s definitely something positive going on in your life, even if you can’t see it. There’s a magic in the air. Some people are so blinded by what they don’t have, that they forget to see and maybe take for granted the things that they do have. It’s a bad habit.

 

 

 

What Chu Know ‘Bout Me? Part Uno!

As I cocktail, lunch and spend time with my little ones, dipped in a diamantee haze and shimmied over in a festival of winks, here…my sassy little heros is a ‘What chu know ‘bout me’ blog…I asked for your questions…you gave me them…I’ve answered them…

Cue music… (Before I start, do know that a bundle of gentleman did try to use this opportunity to get to ‘inappropriately’ chatter with me. I didn’t reply, because I only asked for your questions. I don’t need to get ‘hit on’ right now, just so you could enjoy a bit of a boner. Then there were other guys who were strange and sent me messages simply reading…‘ANYTHING?’ Again, I didn’t reply……because obviously I DID SAY ‘ASK ME ANYTHING.’ Read it, ask a question…get an answer, Simple process. 😉 Glad we got that cleared up….

Cue tune…

Q: Do you date Larger men?

A: Large where? 😉

Q: You’re a blogging hero…How did you turn your everyday life into a business…?

A: I think the blog ended up doing well because I stuck at it. It’s the only thing that I’ve ever been disciplined enough to do throughout 10 years…almost every day. It happened by itself & is a success because I love it so much. I’ve worked really hard.

Q: Will you get married again?

A: Yes. I’ll get it right this time.

Q: Favourite Book?

A: ‘My Booky Wook’ by Russell Brand

Q: Favourite thing to eat?

A: Sashimi

Q: Is being a glamour model as great at is seems?

A: It depends on what YOU love to do. To me…yeah. It’s been the best job in the world. You kinda have to be savvy, stay safe, be emotionally tough and not get lost in the bullshit that comes with it. Just focus on it being work…and nothing more.

Q: Does the ‘Casting Couch’ still happen?

A: In LA…yes massively. In England…well…not as much, but YES…definitely.

Q: How was Paris Hilton in real life?

A: She was great and a smart girl. That show served me so well…I learnt so much at the same time as entertaining. I love reality tv. I love being on it….It’s such a buzz.

Q: Chocolate bar or bag of crisps?

A: Bag of crisps every time!!

Q: Favourite cocktail?

A: I love all cocktails. I can drink anything. Literally. I can drink most humans under the table…but only when it comes to cocktail drinking. I love a Bloody Mary when i’m hung over. I love a salted rimmed margarita at Ego. I adore a good mai tai. I’m a creature of habit…I will always get the same drink/food in a particular bar or restuarant EVERY time.

Q: What don’t we know about you?

A: I’m soft when it comes to love and matters of the heart. I also built a brand on being glamourous and wild…when I’m really quite together and sensible. Still fun though…Still glamourous…just chilled and not lost. Lol. I’m funny. I have an ace sense of humour and i’m way more down to earth that people imagine. I’m allergic to nuts. I’m great at keeping secrets.

Q: What do you find unattractive in men?

A: Bad manners. Lost boys. Bad sex. Men who don’t know how to love, protect or look after a woman. I’m traditional in the most unconventional way.

Q: Can I take you out?

A: Everyone asks me that. I’m a rubbish date. 🙂

Q: What sex toy did you create for Ann Summers?

A: Lol…an anal vibrator or beginners called ‘The Learning Curve‘ 🙂 There was actually a whole range.

Q: What’s your favourite sex position?

A: I love all sex ….I’m playful in the bedroom. Yet not promiscuous. Meaning, if I’m WITH a long term partner…we will be having the best sex ever. Lol

Q: How do I become a blogger?

A: Start one. Mine started in LA via a barista in a coffee shop, who thought it would be an online hit one day….;) Being a blogger is the best job i have ever had and personal lifestyle blogging is hard, as the only thing you’re blogging about is yourself…so you have to hope it catches on..it’s not like writing a parenting blog, or a beauty blog, or a restuarant review. Yet if it does catch on, you’re onto a winner, as no one can write about YOUR LIFE better than you.

Q: Key to writing a great blog?

A: Be honest. Nothing in my blog is fabricated. It all happens. Everyone is a real person…if anything i leave things out…I could do with being MORE honest. Yet since it’s got bigger, i’ve weirdly become more careful…which i don’t like.

Q: Worst thing that has ever happened to you?

A: So much has happened. Homeless in New York was pretty bad. Yet i aced it. I felt cheery through the whole thing and survived it. Anytime i have my heart broken is always the worst. I hate that feeling…..I hate it….and i always try and brave face it, which sucks.

Q: Northern or Southern?

A: Northern.

Q: Best time of your life?

A: I am so lucky to have had SO MANY ‘BEST TIMES IN MY LIFE’ to the point where I can’t even believe all i’ve achieved. Kinda everything i’ve wanted to do, i’ve managed to do somehow? I don’t know how? It’s been utterly surreal. I guess, you get what you’re mean to get? Sometimes you can work really hard for something and it doesn’t materialize and other times you don’t and it’s delivered to you with bells on? I cannot believe some of the things that have happened to me!

Q: Finer things in life or to slum it?

A: Right, I always say i’m chilled and I am…yet I am bouji by nature, so I enjoy the finer things in life. I’m well balanced. So I can sit in your comfies and smash a nandos on your sofa, or dine in the finest places in all the land. I’m happy either way. Weird innit?

Q: Do you think you’ll win the Diversity in Media Awards?

A: No. I want to though.

Q: Where do you hope your blog end up?

A: Where? I hope it takes over the entire world, but MADLY. I’m half way there. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Kitty is BACK

I’m back dolls! How are you?? Oh my god. Sorry for my quick shimmie left with a wink exit….I’ve been in London. So, there hasn’t been a blog because I’ve been busy, I’ve been away, I was filming a little something and when I returned to that good old northern soil, I was blissfully shattered. I’ve had a lay in for 3 days straight and it’s amazing. Never happens. I have no hard work until the 21st, so right now i’m on a sassy recoup and boy do i fucking need it. Lol.

Right, obviously, I can’t tell you anything about my dandy little filming trip, yet you will get to see it…and all i can say about it was that as soon as my little kitten feet landed in The Capital, life turned to glitzy roses and *whoosh* it was a magical swirl of absolute glorious good times, dazzled in madness, shimmied in laughter. In that moment I felt really lucky to have such an ace life and to just be surrounded by really wonderful ‘like minded humans. I loved it. It was actually so great that it was almost surreal…like it was just a dream and never actually happened. I keep flash backing it to relive it in my head. Yes, I may have got carried away, but that’s what i do innit? Lol. I’ve actually written the blog on my time in London…as I you always have to write things in the moment, to keep it live enough for you to touch and live with me. But again, that wont get posted, until it’s meant to.

People always say that I’ve done so much in my life…that I’ve lived..and done it with bells on. But you’ve done it with me. You’ve gone through my awful ups and downs and cheered me on, even when i didn’t deserve it. Haha. So yeah, I guess i’ve done ‘so much,’ however, really i’ve just strutted around in heels and big hair and watched MUCH kinda DO ME. I don’t know how i’ve managed to survive it. But I have. I am. And i’m still bloody smiling.

Okay, but away from the jazzle. I got back to Yorkshire, messaged a guy on the train ride home, didn’t even get undressed and passed out, fast asleep in my bed blissfully…after pouring a wine that i thought i needed. Napped. Got up. Still felt shitty, but got on with life…I’m not a sulker am I? I mean fuck it, I even managed to snapchat my nap, with fabulous hair, so I couldn’t have felt that dodgy.

The rest of the few days as just been chills. I love recouping. It is bliss. I zoomed over to my chick friend ‘Firmonnells’ BBQ and kicked it family style over Doncaster spicy chicken with Big D and Little T and her babies. We drank Desperados and gossiped about my London time, as I gave Little T a ‘dreams come true’ talk, they listened to my love life banter and then we made fun of people who ‘aren’t in the game.’

‘You can’t call me Suzy Wu, if you’re not in the fucking game dude!!’

I kinda got home late via taxi and after a series of the traditional Wunna Snapchat selfies (Add me Chrissiewunna1) and with blips of chitter chatter, I got home and send a ‘needy’ message. Hmm….?

After a bit of arseiness, everything was dandy. The key to everything is to not be tired and text. Not be emotional and text. Not be both. Or hungover. Or just come back from filming a show and text. Just sleep on it….The quicker you bounce back from anything, the better the human you are. Almost makes you invincible. I don’t waste my time on being a pansy. I’m not some that can be arsed with holding anything let alone a grudge. Yet the main thing is…i just understand people…

Anyway, I’ve been chilling with Ruby and Junior and delighting in being Mum. Were trying to name a kitten. I’m resting up. I have big shoots, a book to write and fun brands to work with…so I’ve kinda got to get my head back to normal and smash it all with titty jiggles.

I started off my day by watching the ‘BEST OF JACKASS.’ (Which I love.) It’s weird because i’m such a girl and such a glamour puss. I love love and hair and heels. I radiate femininity like it’s a fragrance that woos the nation..but I have such an inappropriate sense of humour. I have a boy ‘locker room’ sense of fun, which is devastating. Haha. It’s a twisted sense of rubbish ‘pranky’ awkward humour that runs through my system and I love it. I mean, GOD, I love a bit of ‘Real Housewives…’ yet can’t wait to watch the BOXING. I don’t even know why? It must mean i’m greatness…

Anyway, this blog was just a catch up. so you have my apologies for it’s shitness. I just needed to get back on that horse. I’m on chills and picture taking for the rest of the week. But at least I managed to write the blog, I kept glaring at my pink laptop like it had the lergy. I couldn’t bring myself around to do it.

But it’s done…stay tuned…i’m on FIRE. I actually have a really rest of the year…I feel lucky.

 

 

 

When Fishermens Friends Get Sexy?

David: ‘But have you had anyone ever go down on you with a Fisherman’s Friend in their mouth?’

We all just paused and looked at him with dolly shocked faces! One minute we were talking about girl shit and diets and the next minute our guy friend, who my chick friends and I refer to as our ‘Man bitch’ (he loves it, don’t worry,) flies out with a ‘whoop..dee.’

Me: ‘Eww no. Lol.’

David: ‘It’s meant to feel really good. Make it tingle. I’ve done it on a girl but with a Halls Soother.’

Mel: ‘That sounds like it would hurt.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘What if it got stuck in?’

Double B: ‘HAHAHAHA.’

I feel sorry for whoever his Hall Soother victim was. You poor girl. This goes to show how selfish boys can be. Lol. He would have healed his own sore throat and in the meantime given her a sore…£$&$£* (I’ll let you be creative here and fill in the blanks.) Try it! Blame him if it goes wrong.

Fairytale: ‘Hey up! We’ve actually got some Fisherman’s Friends in the drawer. Lol. Take some with you David!’

But anyway, away from all that. I’ve had a great week, but a dramatic week and mainly because I’ve been flirting with my hormones, ( love being a girl.) A lot of snazzy little changes and unforeseen developments have occurred in Wunna land. Great changes, nothing crazy or evil. Yet, they kinda got ‘paint balled’ at me from a good shot, from the skies and being a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, let’s just say… it’s been an ‘adventure.’ (I’ve got on with it boldy with a kitten stride of DIVA and a wiggly giggle…But it feels really good that all has settled now. I’m happy as can be and i’m smiling with excitement, whilst doing *can can* high kicks to Little Mix tracks.

Now, I’m good with changes, I meander them well and glamourously…with sex appeal. YET, this week, i’ve been in a swirl of magical emotion, that has made my little heart beam. It followed up with a SHOCK…and the reason i didn’t blog during that time was because I now refuse to write a blog until I have a clear head. Lol. Whereas before, I’d GO FOR IT REGARDLESS. I’d be brimming over with passion and i’d let that boat sail! But now, I’m officially a grown up now, a hot one. Lol. I’m officially making awesome decisions. Hot ones.

But I have a great support system, as I did need to have a big bestie VENT to ‘Firmonnell,’ because I knew that she was the chick friend who could balance me out and make me see things through rational, positive wine sips. And she did! I don’t know how she does it! Thank GOD for her and her Slimming World Self.

My Baby Cousin Natalia came up from London to spend her birthday with me and the family, armed with her boyfriend Matt. Such a great couple, such great times dining out…such wonderful awkward moments where ruby took it upon herself to force marriage upon them.

Ruby: ‘So, why are you two not married yet?’

Natalia: ‘He has to buy me a BIG sparkly RING before that happens Ruby.’

We’ve eaten everywhere. We’ve hit up some great spots. The service everywhere has been fantastic and I loved snuggling back up into my Flamingo sheets, after mojitos and messaging ‘nighty nights’ to a pretty amazing human. There might have been a selfie too. 😉

Shit, I  was going to tell you something about ‘Double B,’ but I can’t remember what the hell it was now? FUCK!

It’ll come to me? She’s all glam squad right now. All blond extensions and lip pumps. I’m loving it, because I am a chica who adores a bit of the same. I LOVE GLAMOUROUSITY. Yet, being Northern, we’re ace with it, as we don’t have rubbish sense of humours. I am the kitty queen of good times and banter winks. People think i’ll be all high maintenance and sassy…and I can be…LOL…yet most of the time i’m chilled…however, dazzled in fun.

‘Double B’ will just come out with THE MOST RANDOM bits of aceness…

‘Honestly, Chrissie. When does that point come when people just get fucking old and decide to go nuts. Literally, when is that point when they turn into a granny and just say… HEY…i’m going to be a bit mental now???’

Anyway, i’ve got to go. I’m in Doncaster all day today. I’m also popping into Malmaison Leeds later, for a business chatter. I love a hotel blog. I also adore their ‘Rock n Roll Suite.

I have a lot of exciting work stuff happening. I’ve been shooting…as in photo shooting. I’ve been auditioning and I’ve filmed a bit. I’ve promised myself that every day this week I AM GOING TO WRITE A BLOG.

Hope you have an amazing weekend!

Hope you stay away from Fishermen’s Friends.