Courage, Va Voom & New Dates…

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Me: ‘Just help me hate him…..’

(I’d screenshot a pic of a dude..Oh fuck it…’The Swirl’ and drawn a tacky, free hand, red love heart around his head, lol  and sent it to her…my bestie…via Snapchat. Haha. Now, I am very aware, that i’ve just made myself sound moderately creepy. Yet, I do it all the time, for kicks. It’s jokes and funny, so shut the **** UP. 🙂 Only she would understand! 😉 Not you!!! J )

Firmonnell: ‘That’s easy. He ignored your last two messages. Fuck him. He’s so selfish. He only cares about himself. He doesn’t love anyone, BUT himself. I love you. Now, get yourself to Liverpool and have the most amazing time on your ‘date’ thing.’

And just like that, as she waved the flag for all things love, friendship, truth and ‘Girl Code,’ my self respect and kitty power *whooshed* straight back through my system. I grew 10 feet tall, slipped on a spikey set of heels and got to life, with a much more stable strut of ‘sass.’

Everyone needs a friendship like ours.

I love her so madly. No one can deliver the truth to me, better than Firmonnell.

Sometimes, you just need to hear something, don’t you? Even if your ears don’t like it…We girls kinda sell ourselves short all the time, don’t we? I’ve done it for years, when it’s come to men. I’m 37 years old and still learning…Lol. Know, that you’re not alone and know that you fucking need to KICK THE HABIT!!

Chicks R’us!

(I’m not meaning t be sexist. I’m only speaking for the girls, simply because I have no clue what it’s like being a guy and I am someone who believes we’re wired completely differently.)

Right, i’ve just shopped. I’ve just had a skype meeting in regards to work. I bumped into @kateslice28 at the Jeff Banks store, via my shopping totter…

Kateslice28: ‘She wants a job here…’

Dapper dude: ‘Oh! Well..hand your CV in to…’

Kateslice28: ‘She doesn’t really want a job here…’

Me: ‘Haha. My CV’s just a series of Insta pics. Here! Watch me do this…! Now, watch me do that!’

Then I left and bought Kylie Jenner nail polish, in the sale.

My life rocks.

I’m errand running today because I leave for Liverpool tomorrow, just for a night. I have my ‘friendly, meet up’ as I’m calling it, because I just don’t like the word ‘date’ anymore. It scares me and makes me feel awkward…and scares me…and makes me feel all awkward Lol.

Kateslice28: ‘I really don’t mean to make you feel more terrified than you already are! Haha. Sorry! But it’s the truth. It’s always awkward, at first. Just go. Have some fun!’

SHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

It’s going to be a breeze. It’s an easy going ‘meet up’ for drinks, because ‘The Gent’ in question, will be shimming straight from work…and that’s better…as it helps take your mind off stuff, doesn’t it…? Plus, I will have had wine. So ofcourse, on the whole… that makes it much easy for ME!

I need a cocktail now.

I’m fuelled by fruity umbrella drinks. My bodies running out of whip.

Yet, yes. There’s nothing to be terrified of. He’s been nothing short of lovely, to me, so far.

Savannah B: ‘He still has time to stand you up.’

Me: ‘Haha. Get lost. He’s already done the *really excited* message. Saying that…I don’t actually know where i’m headed yet?’

I’m lucky. Life is good. My Insta Story is smashing views right now and i’m kinda loving that, because it makes me pull out ‘all the entertainment’ because i’m a show off.

LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeEE………….!

Everyone’s asking me about the ‘got my initials tattoed on him’ guy….He HAS given me a dare. Can’t remember if I told you, on the blog, or not? But I’ll be filling you in on all that… at the end of the week, I reckon? I kinda need to get Liverpool, work and babies out the way first. I’m excited to tell you everything, but right now I’m prioritising well…and getting my little life, jiggle on.

I will say that TODAY, I am on, DAY 18 of 21, of my ‘Breaking a bad habit’ ting. I can’t believe i’ve done 18 days. I can’t believe that I haven’t AT ALL relapsed and I can’t believe that i’ve suffered ever single withdrawal symptom and still just got on with being a champion, with a hair toss and a smile. (I’m not even as pathetic as I thought. Wait. I never thought I was pathetic. I wouldn’t have done it, if I knew I wasn’t flourishing with will power.)

Anyway…

They say it takes 21 days to break any habit. Once i’m at day 23, i’ll know that i’ve actually done it!

I will be rewarding myself greatly!!!

(I love how everyone thought it was drinking….I received so many messages about it. But yes, it’s not. Everyone needs a vice, and  a ‘tipple’ is certainly mine.)

Aww! I forgot to tell you..

‘Tats’ (do you remember me talking about him in a previous blog? If not, ‘search’ him.) Anyway, he sent me a message on Saturday night. Well, no..it was early Sunday morning and just read…

‘Hey..’

He does that all the time, as he searches for…well….Anyway….

I like ‘Tats,’ I always have and I think he’s sweet. Yet he only messages me now, during the ‘early hours’ and we all know what that means…and although it’s  flattering…if you don’t do things the proper way…I guess, after everything i’ve learnt or been through along the way, in life…I just can’t take it seriously, until they do?

I’m worth more than that…

(I know, you’re not reading this…but I wish you were…)

Things are really exciting for me, right now. I don’t know where my story ends? I just know that every single piece of it, seems to be worth it. I kinda look around me every single day, hoping for the best…yet expecting nothing without the art of hard work, or ‘magic.’

I know that dreams come true. I certainly don’t know how? Is it hard work? Is it fate? Who knows?? YET, what i’m sure of, when it comes to this little thing called ‘life,’ is that we’re all kinda in this together….be you in flats, heels or barefooted.

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie x

New Dates, Mates & Old Flames…

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LA Bestie: ‘How the hell are you still alone’

Me: ‘Haha. Wow! Cheers. Stop saying ALONE at me. I’m fine. FFs.’

LA Bestie: ‘I actually meant ALIVE. Lol. I really did.’

Me: ‘Oh? That…I definitely don’t know! Just lucky aren’t I. 😉 I need a fresh orange juice..’

LA Bestie: ‘What?? Honestly. What has happened to you?? Dead to me. Orange juice?’ 

Me: ‘IN MY MALIBU, you idiot. I don’t order juice.’

How’ve you all been? I’ve had to take a few days off blogging, because work, auditions. socializing, surprises, shocks and single mum life sped into a WHOLE different lane and I was pretty much slow jogging in stillettos behind. If i didn’t hit *pause* I would’ve lost the plot!

I like to keep on top of things. I’m not one to lag behind with ease… 

I hate not managing things appropriately. It stresses me out.

So yeah, right now, my life’s not easy.  I’m happy. But it ain’t easy. It’s a really hard juggle, to be honest. But THANK GOD, i’m back to ‘tipper tappering’ at my laptop, because I swear, it’s my saving grace. (Well, once I get my ‘swing’ back, anyhow. At first it’s shit and definitely feels like it needs rum cocktails pouring all over it.)

RUM TING PLEASE…

I’m just gonna jump the gun and tell you that I got this voice note, the other day, that followed a message. Remember I told you that a few weeks ago, a guy, a lovely older gentleman, had tinkered into my DM’s.

I’ve hardly ever been on a date with anyone older than me…I don’t know why? Maybe because my surroundings are always young. The last older guy, that I actually went on a date with…was Matt Dillon..whilst I was in LA. 

Crackers innit!

(Wait, I’ve lied. both ‘London Business Man’ and ‘Eton Mess’ were older than me. Yet, only by a couple years…They kinda seem boyish in comparison to the ‘voice note’ guy Yet, they’re both happily in relationships now…& I’m happy for them, as they certainly weren’t right for me. I can be treated better than that.) 

ANYWAY….The Gentleman..

He initially messaged me with a picture and then a couple voice notes…and I liked it, because hearing someones voice makes a difference. (Not my awful voice though.) But it’s true…A voice or a video helps a connection… doesn’t it?

I felt that he was SO polite and gentle, yet sweet and fun. He was really respectful. He wasn’t smutty. He led with his romantic foot forward. And I am ever so used to hearing smut, or the game of charm.

I mean, remember that also a couple weeks ago, a German footballer, slid into my insta DM’s…and was pretty much the opposite. He started with the usual ‘you’re beautiful’ stuff…then led it straight to the land of Smut.

I get that…it’s fine…However…

..at that point, I just ignored him…cos whatever…I’m too old for that shit.

Anyway, the other guy, who I always label a ‘gentleman.’ (I say label, because I haven’t actually spoken to him much and I’ve certainly never met him.) Back to the point..He sent me a message at the weekend…Was it Friday? AGAIN, followed by a voice note.

I like a surprise voice note..or video.

It helps me connect faster…(I’ve said that already, haven’t I?) 

Weeks ago, and I did blog this, he had asked if I’d like to go on a ‘friendly dinner,‘ with him, to ‘say hi, properly.’ He doesn’t live in the country, yet obviously he ventures to the UK quite a lot with work. His occupation…Pundit. He’s a retired footballer.

I should balls and a nets for my yard of milkshake, as it seems they’re the only guys that want to play Wunna Land, right now? They find me..

So, I get this message, at the weekend, saying that he’ll be over here on 18th…for work and it would be lovely to meet me.

Wow! Impressed!

I get asked out quite a lot…(that isn’t meant to sound conceited…it’s just the truth and we love a bit of truth in Wunna Land.) I always say ‘no.’ Or just ignore the message. I mean, I must be a sucker for eternal loneliness, because I definitely would love to find my Mr.Right, yet I ignore everyone who DM’s me. Lol.

It’s because i’m a happy singleton.

I’m never miserable about single life. I enjoy life. I still enjoy love. I’m just one of those chicks, who is sure my Knight will saunter up out of nowhere…one day, when he’s had his tea and ready. 

Fate will force him to…

Anyway, I haven’t ignored this ‘gentleman.‘ I need to give him a nickname, don’t I? That’ll come. Yet, bottom line…I’ve agreed to go meet him for ‘friendly dinnering,’ simply because he was so utterly and sincerely sweet to me via voice note. He treated me really normally, yet like a lady. He sounded nurturing and I love nurturing ‘I’ll keep you safe ‘ kinda men.

So, we’ll see what happens…I’m open to it..

I feel like i’ve had this really fun Summer of debauchery and irresponsible, sunshiny behaviour. We’ll all remember Summer ’18. It was fun. Yet, I kinda miss focusing on what i’m doing. Glamorously, of course.  I love what I do and I love what I have…and I’m really lucky, to have the mini opportunities, come my way…Hopefully, one day, the mini ones, will turn into BIG ones.

If i’m being honest…

I kinda started to feel stifled, over the last couple weeks and I’ve been on the search for excitement and adventure. A new chapter, with more balance. You’re a product of your environment..I was becoming one…and not being a chick to enjoy the ‘same old ting,’ I got my balance sorted.

I found me a new chapter..

(…and it took nothing but determination.. Something I am oozed in.)

I’ve been with my family. (My strength.)  I’ve been with the kids. (My world.) I’ve worked hard, (my passion)… auditioned lots (my challenge)..and still managed to cocktail my way to happiness, whilst being over eyelashes, boobied and fully lipped. (Just who I am.)

Let’s *clink* wine glasses to that!

Summer 2018, was really important to me, because I learnt a lot about myself…and I was actually a little broken hearted, through it. Hence why I celebrated, enjoyed and drank a lot. Well, I say broken hearted…but I began with a solid stance. Then emotionally ventured to ‘all over the place,’ which led me to naughty fun (because of course I’m that way inclined..) and was left with my eyes open...WIDE open…my ears a listening (they could hear everything once more)…and as I screwed my head back on, bundled up my heart strings, back into my hands, ready for the next round of blissful, romantic tugging…I realized that my mind, my gut…my body…my everything…just kept lulling back to, reflecting back to…and utterly missing….(back to…lol)…..

..The Swirl.

(Who I renamed ‘T Bone.’)

So, I know that i’m not gonna to go through life, without encountering ‘T Bone’ again…I mean, I might do? But I doubt it, because we get on so well…

My gut just tells me…

Yet the timing of it all…. ‘our ting,’ has always been off. Life has never cut me some slack with that old timing shindig. But I’m willing to see and willing to wait on it.

Right now, he’s no where near me, he recently moved to another country for work…and he’s pretty focused on that and doing his version of life out there.

So, now that i’ve done my Summer of ‘heartache’ (lol…a heartache, that I didn’t realize was happening…) I’m pretty ready to explore…and let my little kitty eyes, take a peeky and who else, of DECENT POTENTIAL…that i’m attracted to… is a knocking?

Right?

September 18th…’Friendly dinner,’ here I come…

Ps? I keep getting a Flashback of Ms.Derry, being sat on the  ‘door wide open’ loo, with her leopard print shorts down by her ankles, as she wee’d, told me she fractured her hand, because she fell, whilst flamenco dancing down the pavement. She was in those shorts, that night too.

Then she wiped up, jumped up, pulled this make up stamper thing, out of her hand bag and stamped my hand with a tiny, black love heart.

It was beautiful. Made me smile.

Be beautiful always…

Easy Peasy Peacefulness

JUST A GREAT DAY!

One of those peaceful, productive, all over it, on top of it, perfect days of ‘easy peasy,’ where work wiggled by swimmingly and life was delicately sprinkled over with a gentle ease of calm. We worked smart and not hard and we productively got more done than we have in ages, simply because we ‘faced our frogs’ and did everything with utter support and absolutely no pressure. It worked wonders.

I watched ‘Fairytale Blond; get her *lump* sorted and be excited to gallop home to see her Prince Jonny, in their brand new ‘now living together’ home. She’s turned into a proper ‘wifey’ overnight and prepares tea before early morning starts, as her ‘Prince’ waits for deliveries and magically screws new bar stools together.

I shared giggly moments with ‘Firmonnell,’ which at times became somewhat inappropriate, yet honestly people shouldn’t inbreed as it really does make you deformed. Find love with people who you aren’t related to and you might magically discover that life serves you a better shot. Yes. That’s what we came up with today. Yes, we are dickheads, but so glamourous with it, that are charm delights the masses, even when the words we deliver are ‘ouchy.’

Firmonnell: ‘You know if I don’t lose weight at my fat club, they make me go to a fat club counselling session as punishment.’

(She’s not fat. She just wants to lose weight so she doesn’t look shit in a bikini, on beaches around apparent skinny people? She ‘maintained’ which isn’t a loss, so she found herself sat amongst others having to explain her reasons for her ‘need to work harder?’ LOL.)

She other than that and smart work, life has been pretty peaceful. It has been swirled over with a calm merriment that you could only wish for during a ‘hustle.’ I’ve learnt that pressure pisses people off. It does the opposite to what it’s meant to do be doing. When you trust people to do the right thing and get on with it…they seem to…and that alone makes us all smile.

So, I’m having a couple drinks at home tonight and spending my evening chilling with Ruby & Junior. (The Wunna Babies.) I’m looking forward to my Friday in London. My meeting with Jack Parson at Yourfeed UK and then my Blog Awards. I’m calm about it all now…I think I got unnecessarily stressed. I’ve been so productive from all angles today that it’s sort of made me feel whole…like i’ve achieved. At the end of the day, to be finalized as one of the BEST creators of Digital Content in the nation, in my category, is totally something special. I’ll take that and i’ll certainly drink lots of prosecco to it too! *Wink here.*

I had one of my best chick friends panic message me today, as she went on a date with a guy who sh’ed be chatting to online. The did dinner, smooched and then he never spoke to her again. Well that’s dramatic. It’s only been four days…Yet, she’s all forlorn and doesn’t know what to do?

Unfortunately, she asked for my help and i’m shit at advice, because I always think that there are no rules to love. YET, even though i’m unconventional, I’m quite traditional and I told her to not chase the guy…as surely, if he wanted to chat to her…she looked down at her phone and there would be a message. That’s what men are made for, ‘the hunting and the gathering.’ Let them BE men. They’ll feel much better for it, in the end. It’s not about refusing to be easy on them and more about letting them take control and embrace their role. It’s sexy. Be sexy.

Double D: ‘Yeah, but I prefer it when a girl chases me…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but you’re soft. You’re like a girl.’

(Double D has just broken up with his girlfriend because she wanted to travel and he wanted to buy a house and settle.)

Double D: ‘Yeah, I do get insecure. But..’

But nothing…I think Men should take the lead when it comes to the art of romance, dating and the initial beckon of love. It’s makes us as women more responsive and when we respond…we respond whole heartedly.

Anyway, i’m of to have a chilled one…I’m relaxing, cooking dinner, having a wine and doing it all in comfies, before BUSY HITS ME BIG over the next couple of days.

Just enjoy where you’re at in life…and do it with love. Embrace all the new chapters, people and situations and where you are in life, right now. I always say it, but pay attention to the things that perk your interest, make you smile…make you happy. Pursue them bravely.

Life’s too short to not go for it….The right things, people, situations and opportunities will come to you when they’re meant to. I really believe that. And even though often people suggest you don’t rely on such nonsense…Something tells me that there’s a force of *magic* that always takes of you if you’re a human that deserve it. *Wink*

 

The 30 Something Single Life….

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I’m a tiddly bit lucky. Life is being kind to me right now and even though I’ll go through blips where in which i’ll forget how lucky I am, (it’s human nature, we throw pity parties until we get over ourselves…Mine only last milliseconds, or a cocktailed up evening with good friends..Some people draaaag there’s on and on…and being someone who hates having to ‘heave ho’ pull anything, be it an opportunity that won’t release, mega sized luggage…I always travel light….or a guy/girl who isn’t quite on the same page as you in the ‘Book of Love,’ it’s a trait that i find unattractive. Pity Parties are never sexy, be you in the new Sophia Webster signature heels or designer barber stubble. Rewind it back, sort yourself out and get a new mind set…then have a mojito. They go well after a Pity Party.

Now i’m getting a flashback of my first husband Mikey, on our wedding night. He’s American and a good soul. He cried when i walked down the garden isle, by a lake field with swans, because i looked so beautiful. I found him later that night, PASSED OUT 🙂 IN A BUSH, in the outside restaurant area OF THE HOTEL BEL AIR, in NOTHING BUT a pair of pulled up Guinness socks and a FEDORA. Hahah. Nothing else! And as a new young 20 something year old bride, in my cream vintage designer gown, with the real life Julia Roberts chilling, as she had her dinner on a nearby table, i had to DRRRAAAAG lol my new husband, out of this bush, away from the restaurant and into our bridal suite. I even had a lace fan in my hand. Haha. I still dragged gracefully even though it was a ball ache….literally…and he was shouting out things, that might suggest he was a  rummed up pirate 🙂 Didn’t bother me, i found it funny. And even though we’re divorced now…and have been divorced for a decade…he’s a good guy. Weird and funny…but a good soul. I learnt a lot from him and respected him. We were just too young to be able to figure out how to make the pieces of our jigsaws fit. We were so different..and even today we still are.

Just because you’ve ended up in a relationship with someone for a while and you love them and you’re very fond of them…it  doesn’t necessarily mean that they are your Mr or Mrs Right. It can do and you can live happily ever after. But it doesn’t necessarily. They are there to journey you though a certain chapter, as you are for them. You’ll know when you meet your match, as you will feel it IMMEDIATELY, like electricity, chemistry, it will terrify you and you won’t believe it or even know what to do. If you try and fight it, ‘The Gods’ will be positively walking your life paths back into one another’s world, out of what YOU think is nowhere, yet the stars suggests is fate. That girl or guy will be so aligned with you, that they admire & respect everything about you positively and you will not be able to help but fall in love with them emotionally, mentally and on levels of both friendship and sexuality. Long lasting relationships like good music need to have soul, otherwise you’re just ‘playing’ a game of ‘couples.’

You should go where life suggests you go….because it’s suggested for a reason. You don’t need a plan nor do you need to over analyse it. You just need to strap in and go with it. That’s what those who are loyal to their own sense of happiness do.  The rest just remain…still…stuck..or even worse…unhappy. Unhappy people at cocktail bars, always look shit. I always see them, wonder why they came out to cocktail anyway and kinda just wished they just went back to their hotel penthouse and watched a bit of porn.

Incase you didn’t realise, i’m quite the champion at knowing what i want, what’s right for me and going for it. I do it with ease and without fear. I’m expressive. I’m comfortable. I’ve got the right glitter heels on for it. I understand life and love and people. I’ve taken the time to be interested in it. I can smell out the strong from the weak and be gentle to those who need love or a bit of motivation. (Provided they don’t drag on about it. 😉 )

I’m thirty five and single…but i’m lavish and i’m fun and filled with this radiating yellow gust of excitement. I’m sassy but i’m warm. I’m playful, yet i’m far from foolish.

And i will say that if you are a thirty something single girl or guy (and it’s a really difficult age to date at,) you don’t have to panic. Decades ago being single used to mean that no one wanted you, or that there was definitely something wrong with you. Like you’ve been left on the shelf. Whereas now, it’s pretty goddamn sexy and there’s a stamp of emotional power that goes with it. A strut that says that you are able to take your time, enjoy your life and decide who you want to spend it with. IF that’s something you decide to do. No one says you have to couple up. I am certainly someone who will, as i prefer to share good times. But you don’t have to!

Friend: ‘Chrissie, The Bible says we have to find partners like Mary and Joseph found each other.’

Me: ‘The Bible doesn’t fucking say that. The Bible says MARY fell PREGNANT & didn’t even have SEX. The Good Lord ‘blessed her’ with 9 months of waddling around in agony, whilst being rode around on a donkey and she didn’t even get to do the fun part.’

Friend: ‘You should definitely teach religious studies in schools.

 

Mr Rights, Love & Blow Up Dolls.

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Aww! It’s the weekend and to be fair, I have had AN AMAZING last week. I’ve been so busy. *BOOOYAH! Rummy shots for the world!* Work’s been great! Entertainment is peeking up. Good times and friendships have been dashed in sass, sarcasm and that good old ‘belly laugh’ kinda fun.

Me: ‘Yeah but imagine if i actually fell in love and ended up with an actual forever BOYFRIEND.’ 

Firmonnell: (Who’s turned into a creepy mild pervert…I love her for it.) ‘What???’ *Paused* and then almost absolutely DIED with pissing herself of laughter, like it was the most STUPID idea that I had ever come up with, in my entire life. Hahaha.

I’ve done some pretty stupid things in my colourful lifetime. like flying to Vegas and marrying an American stranger, then crying down the strip, with my plastic bouquet of flowers in my hand (Haha) in a white lingerie nighty (that was my actual WEDDING DRESS) and whilst in GLOSSY WHITE knee high platform boots. 🙂 THAT WAS FUCKING STUPID. Love to me is beautiful. I ooze that stuff out. It radiates from me. I’m kind. I’m loveable. I’m filled with that glow of deliciously evil love juice. It beams off me like smiles from a Benny Hill chase scene. 🙂

However, i have noticed that most people who know me well, so…my family…my friends…my LA friends…my work colleagues, they probably know me the best…I’m a workaholic, i’m there all the time and love it…But yes, they definitely don’t think that I will settle down and be with a gent, EVER because none of them (SO FAR) have been a ‘good fit.’

‘Who’s honestly going to end up with you..’

‘You need someone who puts you first and takes care of YOU, not someone you have to look after or chase.’

‘I don’t even know what you were thinking with that guy you dated last year, he was just so bland?’

‘You’re just meant to exist as a hot single girl, as there is no one that i can ever imagine pairing up with you.’

‘I have no clue why your single, but i just can’t imagine you being with someone who’s going to be that worthwhile or treat you as well as you deserve.’ 

This..with laughter…is what I hear ALL the time…Hahaha. And it must be true, as they see me and hear me all the time. Yet, when i tell them about any new boys, past boys or new dates, there’s a smile in their eyes like they’re hopeful…or straight away they just don’t like them. Lol. Even my guy friends are the same,

‘What does he even do Chrissie? What was the last girl he was with like?’

But to me love is love and it’s something that I always ramble on about, because i don’t care what anyone says, feeling loved, is a MASSIVE PART of our silly lives as humans. I feel pretty loved always. I’m lucky. But no matter who or what you are? You want to feel it, don’t you? It’s an appreciation of your existence. Coupling up is not something that you NEED, (well not in my world) BUT it’s there as an option if you want it, as what’s better than sharing your best dickhead moments with a partner in crime over a drink, a wink and a bit of ‘we share life’ laughter. I sort of fantasize about being 80 years old and with this old man that I fell in love with me in my late thirties, who shares all these memories that we made,when we were young, over a brandy, as we watch the world go by…from our castle. 🙂

It’s not something that I worry about ever, even though i do go on, because i honestly feel quite comfy, really happy and lay in this peace of ‘soft landing’ knowing  that MY Mr.Right will appear in a puff of cocktailed smoke, reappear with a tinker in his eye and a change of heart, is about to appear as he struts around the corner, not knowing his entry into Wunna Land or will make himself appear more clearly and officially *STAMP* his territory with a ‘MINE.’

(Hang on, i’m in the middle of a game of ‘Hide and seek’ with the kids and Junior’s decided that his next hidey spot, should be under my top? Hahahaha. *Boys.*)

I don’t know how i’ve ended up harping on about love, as i was definitely meant to be telling you about how I made fun of a drag queen blow up doll, only to realize that I WAS the drag queen blow up doll..

Life is good. Loads of people i know are panicking because they’re in their thirties, be it early or late and suddenly finding themselves single. Don’t panic. It’s not the end of the Earth, It’s actually far more exciting than that as it’s the natural beginning of your next and for some, your final love chapter. SMASH IT!

 

 

 

 

Family life has tickled my little fancy and on the whole, with a umbrella jabbed into my Gin and Tonic in a can, my life feels like a fucking DELIGHT!

But a second hand emotion….

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I don’t even know what’s up with me, but i’m feeling on top of the world. I’m all bubbled with this positive *ooh* ness….and dancing in mirrors with pouts, to tunes from the 90’s, as my babies gallop around me and lip sync along like we’re some kind of failed pop band. I even woke up this morning, IMMEDIATELY grabbed my phone to use the ‘selfie’ mode as a mirror ;)…lol…just to check my teeth, (remember that i’m going through a whitening process that specialist Afsar Hussain at Hatfield Dental has put me on…i still have another week and a half of it, as i’ve been super busy…so i’m on a bit of a delay.) I had no face on, was half naked…with a white quilt appropriately draped across me, at six o clock in the morning and I didn’t even think i looked bad. I thought i looked good! AS IF! What is even happening? I’m just trampoline bouncing, on the spot, in a happy place, where in which i feel really lucky, really positive and emotionally balanced within the world….in eyelashes and boobies. Hurrah!

I’m still single and i’m feeling great! I’m warm, but super independent by nature. I can do togetherness and ‘my own thing’ with ease, without being naggy. It’s mainly because i’m used to it. I’ve been single and worldly long enough enjoy me, myself and I and also in plenty of loving and ‘not quite right’ relationships to get what togetherness is all about.  In my mind, until you have the exact right connection, (and ladies you will know where you stand because guys are pretty good at making it clear via both words and actions…or no words or actions lol,) then you’re wasting your time and in that time you just need to get comfy with yourself and cheer up. He’ll find you and come get you. If a guy likes you, he will not be so stupid as to lose you to some other dude with a quiff. Lol.

I see so many happy couples (like Vicky and Guy…Happy Birthday Victoria, they found each other late in life and are about to get married. Same with Emily & Mark..they did an online Yorkshire/Bermuda relationship for ages, each randomly flew to New York to go on their first date and have been happy ever since.)

But at the same time, and almost more of….so many stressed out chicks, who stress out over, what i see…as nothing. And so many dudes who feel all trapped in the ‘doo daa’ that they’ve chosen to be in. That’s not what love is about…and i’m only rambling on about this because I had one of my close LA guy friends message me yesterday with an ….‘I’m super sad.‘ (I’m am the chick all my guy friends and exes come to for chick advice, because i’m not doo..lally…most days 😉 .)

Now, i’m not going to tell you all about it, but i will say that he’s trapped in a shitty relationship, where in which love is chilling and has taken a back seat and control, mistrust and arguing has decided to shimmie on forward. YIPPEE! To the point where there is no love left..not even a drizzle of ‘yeah baby.’ When that happens…and you don’t have rum…you are doomed. Bottom line, he’s been offered a work opportunity in LA, which is away from where his partner is, yet when i say opportunity….(and LA is where we all grew up, …he is American by the way… so it’s kinda like home) it’s his own TV show opportunity, that he has aspired and work towards his whole entire life. Like this would be his dream come true. Got it? Good! Yet Instead of cheerleading him forward, (as that’s a wacky concept) his chick has turned completely bonkers, she doesn’t want him to take part in his ‘dream come true’ job lol,  she’s emailed his manager & employer a letter, stating how disgusting they are for employing him, because he will have to move away from her, for a bit and basically tried to ruin it. Hahah. (Like, i guess that is okay….like…NEVER! THAT IS NEVER OKAY! LOL!!)  She has fully committed to going down route crazy balls (haha, sorry i shouldn’t laugh, it’s a really stressful time for him lol) …and although i am quite partial to dedication…and Route ‘crazy balls’ is definitely fun if you enjoy a bit of drama… But it’s not like it would’ve been forever. Infact, if she didn’t go nuts, he would’ve just been going to LA to film it, before returning. Now, because of her nuttiness…he’s about to run off, do the show and never ever return. It’s done. He’s not super sad for leaving or the breakup, he’s super sad because he’s still stuck there until he gets to go to LA. Lol.  (Do know that i would never refer to any human as crazy unless i have seen substantial proof of utter irrational nuttiness and i’m the most open minded human on the planet.)

Now i’m a pretty good person to ask about things of this nature, as i’m a ‘you don’t mess with peoples dreams. ambition and careers’ kind of girl, it’s not fair to ‘ultimatum’ people, so i’ll see it from the girl and guys point of view and although warm, i’m honest and positive about the future.  PLUS,  my LA guy friends will come to me for advice on this, as when i was with Mike and he had nothing but a dream….he auditioned for everything, all day, everyday and finally got his break….He was ambitious and wanted to do well…and was an actor. Successful actors are away for ages. They could be flying to another state or country for weeks or months if they’ve booked a movie. It’s normal, it’s part of the job. It’s like with anybody in entertainment. And during that time, instead of being selfish, i supported him all the way with excitement…I was excited for him, it never really bothered me, as i wanted him to do well and i knew how much it meant to him…which showed LOVE and because he felt that he had a stable home life, that guy who couldn’t afford Burger King, with a headshot in his hand, at audition number 702…ended up feeling like he could conquer anything…and did. Three years ago he filmed a movie with Tom Cruise, he’s been on every tv show ever and has lots in his pipeline, with dollars in his bank. Now he could buy a million double whoopers. Lol.

And i don’t say it to sound one sided, as the LA guy friend who asked my advice is close to me. But people don’t ask for my advice unless they want a laugh, a power pep talk, positive honesty or to hand hold them through the tunnel into their next chapter, because they have already made up their mind.  PLUS, I have LEFT men, who have been negative in regards to support of any success that I may have had or want to have. Y’know what I mean, the ones that try to *squish* it, so that you won’t do well, out of their own insecurity, because if you do well, you might run off and leave them. Whereas it’s more, if they were confident, supportive and trusting…then they would now be building an empire with me. But hearts heal so much faster then they break. Break ups draaaaag. New love is quick and inspiring.

Anyway, he’s voted himself off the island and headed for pastures…Hollywood. Lol. And I don’t one bit blame him. He hasn’t done it yet…but he’s about to. ‘I’ll just leave her a letter that she can contemplate.’ (Oh Lord.) They’re not bad people, they just no longer understand each other…and once he hits LA, he’ll easily meet a completely different girl, with utterly different views, who understands his ambition, the nature of his work and more than anything…him. It happens all the time. I mean, i did tell him that it wasn’t going to be easy, as when you’re with someone that…how do we put it…’passionate’ lol…you better strap in, as that rollercoaster of ‘bye bitch bye’ isn’t going to be fun. He just laughed and said that he was good at getting away from things. Hahaha.

I guess guys need to achieve their goals, yet be more loving along the way, so their chicks know how much they mean to them. And girls need to be less controlling and have more faith in ourselves and our men. Love doesn’t have to be roses and chocolates, as it seems support, trust, loyalty and positive blessings go much further. And even though i’m girly, i’m quite ambitious and masucline when it comes to work, i’m a workaholic, i enjoy to make money, so i can see both sides of the coin .

Away from that, the BOTOX that i had done at Hatfield Dental has been AMAZING!!! It worked right away, first time and now i can’t frown. No wrinkles, nothing. I did feel my muscles paralyzing and it was odd. Yet now i’m used to it, it is quite frankly a remedy sent from the good Lord himself. So now i know, when i’m super old, BOTOX is the answer. Honestly, I swear, it is a miracle. I have never been more amazed in my life, aside from that time i actually woke up with a traffic cone parcel taped to my head. I was impressed and amazed that morning for sure. Lol. I’m surprised i even Goddamn woke up.

I have lots going on right now. The babies, work, Leeds Lifestyle Awards, Made in Leeds, a photoshoot and my NSPCC Tshirt campaign that i’m going to tell you about in my next blog. So get your piggy banks out and get ready to feel charitable. Nothing is going on in my love life….no one fancies me….

(Wait Keiran’s calling and he has Junior…one sec…)

I’m back, it was just about the dentist.

I’m feeling super chipper, super sexy, happy, but clumsy because i’m having to wear my glasses all day, as i forgot to order my contact lenses on time. I don’t know how anyone does anything in specs. They’re a nuisance. I’ve tripped up 40 times and got scared whilst driving everywhere. Such a girl. Lol. The last time i wore them, i was too busy looking at myself in a shop window that i tripped over a grate and fell on my face. A PROPER GOOBER. Lol. I’m a geek wrapped in tits. AND they keep falling down my nose. I don’t even look smarter. I walking around over cautiously like an absolute moron. Like the floor is about to open up and swallow me whole. 🙂

Those few extra inches…

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Girl maintenance COMPLETE!

Oh my GOSH! Nothing feels better than finally getting your weave did and your nails done, your tan baked and your life in tune once more, when you’re a girl! I’ve had this grown out baggy weave in for ages now, as I haven’t found the time to just go get it seen to. It’s like a pet. 🙂 You need to nurture it.

I woke up this morning. Made every human on the planet eggs and then still in a half sleep haze, after a couple of whatsapp messages, I sort of suddenly WOKE UP and found myself in a salon chair, with a purple robe around me and with the most amazing weave specialist (I go to ‘Talking Heads’ in Doncaster) clipping up an sewing in thickness and length into my hair! BLISS! And it’s awesome as i can just strut in and they’ll immediately KNOW what i’m going to want without me saying. So she plonked me down, as I selfied and she simply said, you’re wanting length, extra doubled up rows and thickness, right?

I think i just asked for a latte and nodded and let her do her thang. But it is amazing what a few extra inches and thickness can do. 😉 I FEEL GRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEAT!

I’m just a girl who enjoy’s girl maintenance so much that it’s kinda an essential part of my life..lol and i don’t think there’s anything with that. I enjoy to keep up appearances, try to look my best and doll up. It’s fun! And it was nice to see that i wasn’t on my own, as that place was filled with women and girls of all ages, all walks of life…literally all types, who were spending their time enjoying ‘girl maintenance.’ It’s sort of like when guys go to the gym and lift heavy things and then watch football and maybe tamper on a computerized game. That’s their ‘guy time.’ Girl time, for me, is in the salon with a glam squad.

Then after a card insert and a 4 digit pin press, i was off to the nail bar to get my kitty hands tinkered with. Nothing is worse than grotty nails. My nails are now divine. When i was sat there at the hand dryer thingy, a middle aged lady sat next to me, asked what colour i had chosen, so she could get hers the same. I like that! We had good chick banter. I kinda only went for ‘funny bunny’ which is a light pearly white. It kinda looks like the colour of dripped white candle wax, but with a shimmer, as we all know i fancy a bit f glitz. It looks like pearls and I adore it.

Hair thickened, extra inches complete. Pearly fingers, tan and smile. Sorted!

What more could a glamour puss need!

Oh yeah…LOVE. 🙂 HAHAHA.

Anyway, this was only a tiny catch up, as i’ve just got home and i’m chilling.

I think girls, like guys, NEED those moments of ‘glam up’ or ‘man cave.’ It keeps us balanced, doesn’t it…and keeps that wink in our wiggle and their strut a giant stride.

Okay, I’m off now.

Happy weekend. x

If the nipple tassels don’t fit….

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Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit you! *Simples.*

If you’re a skinny size zero, don’t wear something that is far too baggy for you beautiful body.

If you’re a voluptuous Size 20, don’t try and squeeze into an outfit that tells you it’s a 10.

Nothing is worst than being unable to embrace the body that that dude up above, with a case of genetics has given us.

If you don’t like the size that your inside label screeches at you…remove it. Get rid of the label or even better, sew a new label in that reads the size you wish to be. 🙂

Ignorance is on occasion… bliss. Yippppeee!

We as women are constantly on a ‘my bums too big in this, my belly is too wibbly in that…my thighs, oh my thighs’ rant. (I’m a swine for it. Not so much now..but i used to be.)

But honestly, there’s no point,as there’s no perfect size for a chica. Just pretend you’re the size that you want to be, lie, forget, embrace it, or enjoy it. Don’t close yourself off to fashion, simply because the size on the label tells you that you’re too thin or too chubby. OR EVEN BETTER, ADORE THE SIZE THAT YOU ARE, embrace the wibbly bits…and go forth with an umbrella drink and a shimmie. I mean whocares, by the time we’re sixty, if we’re lucky to get that far, we’ll all be saggy and grey anyhow…and we’ll love it. Bagsy a purple rinse.

Plus, if you’re not dress size stressing because you wish for others to love you more, not judge you, or whatever else the matter is…just don’t. They’ll love you anyway, regardless…if they’re not a weirdo or a tool.

Be brave, grab your nipple tassles…but always makes sure they FIT!

Chrissie x *Giggle here*