I’ve Got My Va Voom Back!

I’m passed the feeling of shitting myself and now i’m utterly EXCITED for my Friday! I had an evening that kinda made me feel really confident about myself…and when a girl feels that way, she glows, she radiates….I know i’m currently radiating because my world right now is filled with inboxes messages from exes, or previous husbands, or new guys with gusto and my strut is currently *paused* every few minutes by a stranger or an old friend giving me the wink. It’s not about the inbox fill up, or playful winks from strangers…as i’m ignoring them all politely. (I’m rubbish like that.) It’s all about the ‘GLOW.’ It’s the GLOW that we chicks get when we feel confident in our strut. I want all girls to feel it, every moment of every day. It makes us attractive. It’s sexy, because that glow radiates makes us super POWERFUL and no matter what ages, shape or size you are, nothing is sassier than that whoosh of of ‘ooh laa.’ (Boys will honestly be tripping over their willies as they pass you by.) Oh and FYI/ NOTHING IS BETTER than exes messaging you, who you now care nothing for, when you have that ‘whoosh’ of ‘ooh laa.’ I’ve looked at the message, said nothing and beamed with my ‘Cya, don’t wanna be ya dance.’ If a guy wanted you that badly, he would’ve made the effort to keep you and HEY, maybe not chosen another girl over you! Lol. I AM GLOWING.

Anyway, yesterday was great because yesterday was the day that my guy friend David (who’s currently auditioning for Celeb Hotels) decided to obtain a mattress from a granny, shove it in his boot and simply for banter because ‘Firmonnell’ told him to, place it on the top of ‘Fairytales’ car (her cream mini) and snapchat it to everyone.

Firmonnell: ‘I don’t know why it’s so funny. But it is!’

IT WAS HILARIOUS! This is how i know i have ace friends. Nothing is better than childish pranks. I actually thought that he’d only plonked the dirty mattress on her car for snapchat picture taking purposes….But no…it sat there ALL DAY.

Hustle Barbie: ‘Fairytale…Why have you got a giant dirty mattress on the roof of your car? ‘

Fairytale: ‘It’s still fucking there!!!!!’

Me: HHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I’m feeling cheeky today! I feel like i want to prank the world and just deal with the consequences afterward! Lol You’ve got to love a laugh. You’ve got to love a bit of banter. And it’s the simpliest things that crack me up.

Last night, after the babies had tinkered to sleep and my mum had come round to cuddle them…I had a bit of work to take care of, for my weekend. I’m excited for my Friday now. I was meant to blog, but instead, i walked down to ‘Ego’ for a quick white wine. I needed a chill, a nightcap and well i’m not really going to be able to have a drink tonight…as i’m sure i’ll be rushing about headlessly. (I’m also excited because i’m about to embark on what feels like a whole bunch OF TIME off work….which means i can fit ‘good times’ in and refuel.)

But anyway, I went to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth. I go all the time. I love it there. I love the staff there. It’s a good place to find me. I always go on my own for a chill and just sit at the bar by myself. Lol.

So, I obviously opened my last blog with Josh (the ‘Ego’ Bartender) who’s great! We chat well. And I love a bit of banter with him. Infact all the staff there are literally ace. It’s a good time. (I’m currently writing this topless and forgot I was topless…need to grab a bra. I don’t want spaniel ears for boobies!) Bottom line, I didn’t reckon he’d read the blog, or anyone he knew would…so he’d never find out that I wrote about him. Right? First thing he mentioned when i walked in was the fact that he featured on the blog! LOL. But he was happy about it. So it was all good. Made me smile. I mean, nothing is worse to me, when i write about someone and they hate that i’ve written about them. It makes me feel uncomfy. Plus, people should love a Wunna Land feature! Hahaha. What better place to have your name splattered all over the internet than here! 🙂 It’s a written word reality show. You CAN in real life, go to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth and find Josh the Bartender. You can all be a part of Wunna Land. My kingdom, not yours! 🙂

Anyway, it was great. I had a wine. I chatted to the staff as they tinkered by me. Some guy in a pink shirt stroked my arm and gave me the last part of his larger, whilst calling me ‘baby.’ I love being called ‘Baby.’ I call people ‘Baby’ when i love them. Didn’t love him. And didn’t really want the spit part of his drink. Yet, I thanked him anyway. (I’m good like that.)

‘Was he gay or straight? I couldn’t figure it out?’

Then randomly my old school friend Nathan, who was on a boys night with his teacher friend, who used to my football for Leeds or something found me at the bar and made me a part of their lads night. Nathan was 3 years below me at school and it’s always ace to bump into him.

‘Am I ruining boys night?’

‘No. You’re making it much better! We need to do this again. Lol’

We chatted school, fishing, Vegas, football, tits, dresses, tv appearances, LA and life.

‘Who can we force to get married, so we can go on a stag do to Vegas?’

I tried to force him to teach me how to fish. He tried to force me to go drinking with him. Josh wanted to live in a log cabin for a bit. And his footballer/teacher friend took off his wedding ring! Hahaha!

Boy banter is always better than girl banter.

Shit! its 7.30am! I need to get ready and GO!

 

 

 

 

 

Yorkshire Pudding Privates & Louboutin Chills

‘I’d shove a Yorkshire Pudding up you..’

…shouted a random gentleman to my Barbie Lookalike friend ‘Hot Sarah.’ (She’s got Barbie’s boobs and everything. She’s beautiful…She doesn’t want Sunday dinner up her *Whoopsie.* Infact, quite the opposite. She’d prefer to sit at home and make her own Yorkshire puddings, in a land of absolute luxury…as she lunches with other Ladies of Leisure, in Louboutins, by Prosecco Fountains. That is her life goal. Again! It doesn’t involve porn with leftovers from your dinner plate. Hurrah!)

‘Gimme ya number now…I right fancy you…’

…uttered what looked like a 9 year old boy,  who had been ‘egged’ on by a troop of other ‘maybe teens’…to go try his luck at getting ‘Chrissie Wunna’ to date him?

‘YOU’RE NINE! And you did that far too aggressively.’

‘I’m 24, i’m just short for my age.’ 🙂

(We’ll give him points for humour, ballsy little shit. 🙂  At least he DARE talk to me. Most people just breeze past awkwardly and inbox me later on Facebook, stating that they saw me. The older guys become, the less brave them become, I guess? I don’t bite. You can speak to me. I am human. I’ll only bite if i’m in my waist trainer, or if i have a sausage roll….then you’re fucked and not the good kind. 🙂

BUT HONESTLY! Both Males. Decades! Even GENERATIONS have had these males apart! Yet the practice that they used in order to ‘woo the ladies’ was not only weirdly similar, yet also distinctly poor and…well….just made no sense? At least make sense.

I mean, what lady wants you to shove a Yorkshire pudding in her…..? Lol. I’m creative and that even bamboozles ME! I’m open minded and I just can’t seem to fathom the consequences of such? I’m NORTHERN & WE LOVE a Yorkshire Pudding…I guess what i’m saying is… just not in our privates. 🙂

GO BACK TO ‘ROMANCE CAMP.’ Enjoy the art of ‘wooing.’ It’s delicious, simple and refined. More people should be enjoying the art of romance. Be brave, yes. But be lovely.

That guy had  ONE SHOT to approach ‘Hot Sarah’ with something that would make her *pause* and decide that he was ‘The One’…and that’s what he came up with? That was his first shot at love and attention. Hahah!  What would’ve been so hard to just stop, tell her she was ‘beautiful’ and ask her out for a drink? Yes, you got her attention. But only so she could tell me and I could place it on my blog for the entire world to read. Yippee!

‘Is because they’ve got nothing to lose. He’s already assumed that you’re not going to be with him ever…so he just thrown something out there for kicks.’

‘If a guy actually thought he HAD A CHANCE at making you his, he’d be a lot more clever about it..’

I like the clever ones, who are simple, but flashy. Romantic, yet emotionally together. Ambitious, but loving…and with a spirit that plays well with mine.

Unlike ‘Hot Sarah’ who wants to chill in Louboutins and well i’m sure I once heard her say ‘Save the animals?’ 🙂 I’m totally single, but a chick who wants to build an empire with a human and look around in astonishment at what we’ve managed to achieve. I find that sexy. I call that love. I don’t know WHY I imagine being part of an equally balanced ‘Power Couple?’ It’s a bit extreme, I know. But I just find achieving sexy! Yet at the same time, I enjoy softness, commitment and romance with it.

GOD! I’m already bored of listening to myself.

GIVE ME A WINE!

Bottom Line…Don’t offer to ya ‘shove’ dinner in a lady’s privates….

I’m sure ‘Double B’ said…

‘I’d let him, if he bought me the Vuitton Bag.’

Wait no…I’ve made that bit up…

She suggested ‘Sending Nudes.’ 

(Hahahah!)

Sending Nudes feels so ‘2011’ now, even though i’m sure it’s ever so current.

I wouldn’t flipping know! I send people Gucci Hats just to say ‘THANK YOU’…Not photos of me braless in exchange for a Yorkshire Pudding session. I’m sure there’s a fee for that! Lol. Is there a fee for that? 😉

 

 

 

 

he poorest advice, when it came to the distinct art of ‘wooing the ladies.’

HOW

 

Gucci Gifting To Bartlett’s Desk

Thank GOD it’s the weekend! I feel like i’ve just rolled off, the busiest week of work EVER and I don’t know what’s hit me. This week was stressy? Is that the right word? I don’t know why? But I was happy that Friday came. I needed to kick back and chill on my throne 🙂 and just watched the world go by for a second.  *Wiggle…Wink.*

I can tell the temperature of my stress, by the amount of wine consumed, once my work week has hit ‘see ya!’ I drank a whole bottle of red to myself, laughed, loved a little, performed a few pretend music videos in my bedroom mirror (you know you’re happy when you’re doing that and you know you’re obviously the fifth member of ‘Little Mix’ when your ‘across from you’ neighbour stops to tell you, that he watches you perform them drunk… from his window. Lol.)

‘Honestly, Chrissie! It’s the highlight of my evening. I love that you see me and don’t even care that i’m watching!’

‘I don’t see you? I’m pissed..’

‘Oh?’

‘Hahaha…now you sound like a pervert. LOL’

Anyway, I’m not here to tell you about my drunk window, ‘Little Mix’ performances.

RIGHT NOW, I’m here to make you rewind a second…

Remember that I visited Social Chain, about 2 weeks ago. I loved it. Didn’t I! I spread the news to everyone like wildfire. I was on my favourite Vlog , with Steven Bartlett…Who is certainly my favourite human.

Remember? Got it? Good!

A week later, I organised and ordered glamourous, fresh cut flowers to be sent to Katie Wallwork at Social Chain, by  ‘Bloom & Wild,’ who are my favourite luxury flower delivery service and she received them on ‘International Womans Day,’ as a ‘Thank you for having me…’ I loved Katie! So I wanted to make her smile.

By nature, i’m quite well mannered (apart from that one time when I threw my wine in this hideous girls face, because she thought she was the cast of ‘Kung Fu Panda’ and was a bit niftier than I with her very manly fisticuffs. A waste of a good, full bodied red, really :))  However,  I’ll also tell you that I DELIGHT in being courteous and even though i’m one of those ambitious ‘Boss It’ kind of ‘Chick festivals,’ with an image that is showered in glitteratti, diamond glares and luxury tinkers…I also LOVE (more than anything) creating moments where in which, even if it’s just for a second, i’ve made someone’s eyes smile and by surprise.

It makes me happy! What? I’m a decent human! Give me trophies (UK BLOG AWARDS. 😉 )

ANNNNYWAY, I ALSO  sent Steven Bartlett a surprise ‘Thank You’ gift…and that gift, I had decided had to be Gucci? (Obviously! Lol.)

Gucci is my favourite luxury brand, because it oozes a timeless, stylish, sophistication, combined with a fun, modern, twist of ‘ooh.’ I ADORE what they’re delivering right now…and HEY, I’m currently appearing in the pages of the ever so High Fashion  Spring Edition of ‘House of Solo’ Magazine, as ‘Social Media’s Newest IT Girl’…Therefore, surely what I say,…goes? 😉 LOL.

But yes, I’m a decent gift giver and so I chose to buy Steve THIS SEASONS ‘Original GG Canvas baseball hat with the traditional webbing design’ in black….BY GUCCI. The cost of it didn’t really matter to me…as once i’ve decided on doing something, I have a one track mind, be it in work, love, ‘Thank You Gifts’...anything really…  that’s it…I’ll commit to it fully and go for it.

So, I told my chick friends that I had bought and ordered the gift from Gucci, as I knew I was on the busiest work week ever…and that I needed it to arrive at his office in Manchester…for AFTER he returned from doing his ‘4 stages in 3 days’ speaking tour. (Like any successful, non creepy chick, 🙂 I stalk his Vlog, so I pretty much have the semi, low down on his work life…Which is obviously super handy, when stalking schedules.)

Now, it was important to me, that it landed on his desk, AFTER the speaking tour, so it felt like a ‘treat,’ after a busy, rushy, ‘he must be shattered’ stretch and at the SAME TIME…It’d make him smile because (like Katie’s Flowers) it would deliver a moment into someones’s world, where in which they knew another human cared enough about them, to be thoughtful. I love ‘Thank you for having me’ gifts…They are my absolute FAVOURITE. And you can’t go wrong with Gucci, as everyone loves a little bit of luxury…I mean I personally picked out what I thought was a great gift for Steve…and yeah, if you know me personally, my choice is VERY ‘Wunna.’

He gets a lot of gifts. But let me tell you about gifts. The most thoughtful gifts, are the gifts that you send people, for NO OTHER REASON, than to TELL THEM that they nare appreciated. You should choose things that YOU THINK they would personally love. I also choose things that I LOVE, as it’s such a good energy to pass on to another.

So, this hat, during my busiest week ever, didn’t just come from the local ‘in your area, if you’re lucky’ Gucci store. Oh no…that would be far to easy…THIS CAP…(and my chick friends will tell you) was FLOWN HALF WAY ACROSS ITALY…through THREE DIFFERENT ITALIAN CITIES, THREE DIFFERENT AIRPORTS, GUARDED BY SECURITY (who I called’ THE GUCCI CAP POLICE’)…DELICATELY SCANNED AT EACH AIRPORT, on arrival and departure AND because I needed to know WHEN this bit of luxury would end up gifted upon Mr Bartlett’s desk…GUCCI gave me HOURLY EMAILED REPORTS of the cap’s whereabouts and journey! Lol.

How amazing is that!! It’s the boujiest ‘tracking service’ ever. I felt like part of an FBI Glam Squad.

I kept chatting to people, but checking my phone, before looking up and then laughing with ‘Hot Sarah…’ and ‘Feisty Gem…’

‘THIS CAP HAS A BETTER LIFE THAN I DO! LOL!’

I’m not evening kidding…IT HAD SECURITY!

But let me give you a picture of events…

Gucci where giving me updates like this…

‘7 March/04.34pm Arrival for Original Scan in Firenze, Italy.’

‘7 March/ 06.32pm Departure Scan/Firenze, Italy.’

‘7 March 07.30pm Arrival Scan,/ Bologna, Italy.’

I recieved updates the entire way through and Wunna Land had got so involved in the ‘Life of Steve’s Gucci Cap’ that monitoring it’s whereabouts became a full time show. THE CAP needed it’s OWN VLOG! *Like & Subscribe here.*

So I KNEW when Steve was going to probably be back at his Manchester office and I also knew when Katie had received her flower delivery as ‘Bloom & Wild’ told me. 🙂 And I tried to schedule them appropriately. So they’d get there at the sameish time.

I was swimming in Wunna land, talking to brands, organizing shoots, verbally abusing my friends in good humour….AS HE was travelling from one event, to the next event, doing interviews , vlogging from taxis and meeting fans, as he tended to his own version of life. We were both going through really busy times….

AND THIS CAP….AS WE WERE DOING LIFE…WAS FLYING THROUGH THE SKIES ABOVE US…. (It’s was like a ‘Social’ James bond Movie.)

Then finally, I scrolled through my phone, as Gucci had alerted me at five o clock in the morning, to let me know that the cap had LANDED at East Midlands Airport in England and was headed to Manchester Airport, to get picked up by the courier and delivered to the Portland Street…by 11.34am. LOL.

I’m NOT JOKING. It was the most BOUJI ‘Charlie’s Angel’s’ operation of absolute glamourousity… EVER!

I mean ALL DAY I was working, working, working and then  plate spinning my own piece of Cyberland, but I constantly had this CAP’s journey churning through my mind. Lol. As soon, as I got the..

‘The Courier has successfully delivered your parcel in Manchester at 11.34am, to 127 Portand Street, for Steven Bartlett.’

There was Wunna land cheering, relief and a suggestion of wine and therapy.

Gucci is SO INCREDIBLY SLICK, they’re amazing. I mean GOD, those updates were DELICIOUSLY FABULOUS…yet SO ‘High Fashion’ intense. 🙂

‘THANK GOD, THE HAT HAS F****** ARRIVED!!!’

I needed 42 GINS after following the panic of it’s journey.

‘Well you would go for the flipping Gucci Hat….FROM ITALY, Wunna!’

‘The flowers were such an easier transfer of appreciation…I should’ve just got him butch roses..’

‘Are you happy?’

‘YEAH!’

‘Cos it’s finally there?’

‘Well…yeah. Ofcourse. BUT it’s mainly because I know that he’ll open the box, see it, not have a clue who it’s from, yet notice that it’s bouji…and his face will light up…He’ll beam…It’ll make him smile…Then he’ll find out that it’s from ME to say ‘Thank you’ and it’ll shock him. That again, will make him smile…But this time HIS EYES WILL SMILE… AND YOU TELL ME WHAT ON THIS ENTIRE EARTH IS BETTER than sending someone a bit of  luxury love, just to say  THANK YOU. It’s classy, with a wild streak. It’s fun. It’s shocking…It’s ME. It’s thoughtful! And thoughtful is the new sexy!’

Now, I don’t know whether you watch Steve’s Vlogs OR if you have managed to cross path’s with Social Chain and all that they do…

But here… Watch the Vlog when my gift from Wunna Land…(and it WAS the biggest operation of luxury cap travelling EVER….) landed on Steve Bartlett’s Manchester Desk…

His Eyes Smile! (Told you. 🙂 Makes me happy!

PLUS, the AWESOME THING ABOUT IT ALL, is the fact that I have a BLOG and he has a VLOG….and this real life ‘Thank You’ gift, travels from my patch of Cyberland to HIS channel of ‘Social’ AND YOU ACTUALLY GET  TO TRAVEL WITH IT….AS WE ACCIDENTALLY DELIVER TWO HALVES OF ONE STORY! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Mess With A Brother & His Chicken

‘Hey? Are you by yourself? Lol. What you never know? So what’s the plan today?’

The next morning in Manchester had sprung and before I had even managed to roll over in my fresh white Macdonald  Manchester Hotel sheets and rub my kitten eyes…my phone was already throwing Tuesday at me with a ‘Hurry the glamourous fuck up…’

It was snowing outside my executive suite windows, in Manchester that day! I nibbled on ‘Welcome Chrissie’ chocolates that had been left in my room, I dipped into the warmest most bubbliest bath…I LOVE A BUBBLE BATH in hotel rooms, as it’s means I must have ‘chill time.’ Showers are for rushy times and even though ‘rushy times’ are great, because they wave the flag for ‘busy,’ which means opportunity is in the palm of your hands…Nothing to me is better than those moments where you look after yourself….in bubbles…with massages….with love…or with a fresh cocktaily treat. That one moment sorts you out for the rest of the ‘dash.’

Then there was mad grooming, hair clipping, pouting, slefies, (…I mean selfies…) snapchats, last minute room checks, the gathering of goods and as I shot down out the door, down FIVE flights of stairs (I didn’t take the elevator), with a warmth, a smile and a ‘Thank you so much, you guys have been amazing,‘ I checked out my the Macdonald Manchester, swung through the revolving glass doors and WALKED to the train station (that’s why I stay there, as you can chill in bed longer and take warm baths, simply because it is moments away from your train…) and before you know it…BOOM, I was headed back to Leeds…followed by a train to Xscape, to meet good friend Abeiku Arthur (who owns the High Fashion ‘House of Solo’ Magazine) to grab lunch… and well fill him in on a  quick mountain of gossip…that I KNEW he was going to try and cleverly drill out of me.

So, I was stood outside Xscape in Castleford, it was Tuesday…and I saw him strolling up, so with the biggest smile and the loudest shout and maybe even a joyous booty dance, to not rub MY ACE LIFE in his face… I glamourously yelped…melodically ofcourse,

‘I SAW STEVEN BARTTTTTTLEEEEETT! I SAW STEVEN BARTTTLLEEET.’

Related image   Image result for steven bartlett social chain

He grinned with pride…we sort of *knuckled punched* a greeting and ran into Nandos to chow down on a bit of Peri Peri Chicken (Extra Hot) with a side of ‘catch up’ banter.

Big A: ‘Are you getting extra hot?’

Me: ‘Dude, I’m ethnic. I do extra hot.’

Now, in life…I’ve swanned around some of the most glamourous lunch spots that the world has to offer, with tiny plated savory treats, that is misted with flavours of  five star dining…BUT sometimes a chicks just got to sit with a brother and smash a bit of grilled chicken with hot sauce.

‘So, go on then…what happened at Social Chain…’

‘Everything they’re amazing. I was there for about an hour and a half…and yeah I definitely want to work with them.. I definitely fancy Steve and Katie is great…’

‘What’s Steve like then? Is he really all that or is it..?’

‘I’ve got a blog coming on this…’ (That moment where you don’t tell you friends things so that they HAVE to read your blog. :))

‘Do you want chips?’

‘Yeah, Peri ones…I’m getting a wine too…’

‘Aww, grab us a cider…You know that I met that chick from Vogue at Fashion week right…So what’s Steve like then….’

Then we smashed Peri Chicken and chips, guzzled wine, laughed about life and how it makes paths cross. (Remember at the end of last year, I told ‘House of Solo’ that I would get to meet Steve at Social Chain…AND I DID IT. Lol) We talked career, business, the future. I told him where I was headed with Chrissiewunna.com, he’s developing ‘House of Solo’ better than expected now. I mean GOD, you can buy your copy in the Eurostar VIP section, as you’re travelling to Paris fashion week…that’s a great new step. (And I don’t mind rambling on about it because I’M IN IT. BUY THE SPRING EDITION NOW! Lol)

Image result for house of solo magazine

Then I suggested that we roll on to Burgers & Cocktails and grab a few drinks. Well I said ‘just one…’ But we know how that nifty slogan pans out…:)

Plus, I Love ‘STILL DAYTIME’ cocktails. They often feel funner than nighttime cocktails and we had a lot to chat about.

Lord knows what happened. But I ended up smashing 4 …’with sixty percent proof’ bits…’Flaming Mon’s,’ that had flamed flying out of my passion fruit and all sorts. I’m surprised naked dancing man didn’t pop out of my drink and slap my booty. It was a fruity tooty show piece.

I guess, people are similar to the cocktail that they choose to drink, or it depicts your mood. ‘House of Solo’ had a shandy. A Red Stripe Shandy. (An improvement on the ‘evening before’s’ company who simply drank water. Lol. Yet, Come on now…let’s jazz this up a bit…FUCKING RED STRIPE SHANDY with a ‘Can I have more lemonade please.’

We got the best seat in the house, which if you are following this blog, you will know that the BEST seat is wherever I’M sitting 🙂 and it’s referred to as the ‘Power table.’ Lol. In this case, it was AWESOME because we chose to not face each other and instead have seats that where onlooking the passerbys through a big glass window. We watched every single one of you and made up our own renditions of how your life goes..:) and mainly because we’re bastards. Lol. But whatever, I had had a bunch of cocktails by this point and was sneaky phone charging, so the staff couldn’t see.

We BELLY LAUGHED at life, he talked fashion, I talked Social Chain…He stupidly believes that there are actually still VIRGINS over the age of 20 in Castleford. *DYING WITH LAUGHTER HERE*

‘What the fuck are you on about? She’s not a virgin. Virgin’s are like UNICORNS…they don’t really exist…only in your deluded mind.’

Big A: ‘When I was in college in Castleford, this girl asks me out, and I thought it was weird because she asked if she could *start seeing me* and I didn’t know what that meant…cos in Africa, well…we’d just…’

(Then he does a mucky face with laughter. Lol. Do note that ‘Big A’ is African…and moved fresh from those exotic lands to Castleford. Lol.)

‘So why is it that men of the African Variety like chicks with booty?’ (As in a good bum and curvy bits…not as in what Pirates find in treasure chests.)

‘Well it’s all we see there and yeah I love a curvy girl. A big girl. That’s why it’s weird that I do High Fashion, as I have to see creative beauty in chicks that I don’t fancy at all…’

‘Why are guys scared to approach me..?’

‘Cos you’re Chrissie Wunna…’

‘No I mean really? Like really… You KNOW ME…Would you personally be scared to ask me out, if you fancied me…?

‘YES.’

Then we both PISSED OURSELVES LAUGHING, I recieved zero love life help and then out of the blue like the world had popped ‘crazy pills’ of joy, ‘House of Solo’ JUMPS UP with excitement and screeches, in his Big Black man voice…

‘Nando’s has liked our Tweet!!!!’

Honestly, it was like the world had decided to fuck up and chose us to be The Gods, for the rest of your time here on Earth.

I looked at him *blank*…not quite getting why he was that excited?

This is a guy who has VOGUE ‘like’ his work and that doesn’t phase him. Yet Nandos’ likes ONE TWEET..and he’s up in arms, screaming and shouting at how Nandos is so much bigger than Vogue and he needs to screenshot the ‘like‘ and post it everywhere. Lol.

Now, not to blow my own pink trumpet or anything 😉 But, I’m quite used to brands ‘liking’ stuff that I do. 🙂 I’m just this little kitten, who writes some blog and it’s all got carried away and now i’m (cue: Tabloid Titles:

‘..Making blogging cool again/ I’m the best thing to happen to Cyberland/ I’m the UK’s Carrie Bradshaw, / I’m Social media’s Newest IT Girl/ I’m an Sassy Inspiration..I’m everything, they say I am. 🙂 Honest!

So Nando’s ‘liking’ a Tweet, is GREAT (if you want to work with me 🙂 ) But until then…it’s kinda just a ‘like.’

Get it? Good!

Me: ‘You have three more trips to Nandos, three more posts, 3 more ‘likes’ and a Retweet until you get some Nandos attention. Let alone a flipping Black card dude.’

‘You have Black Cards to every glammy venue ever, but you don’t have a Nando’s Black Card..’

‘Yeah. They’re not going to give ME  one. People like David Beckham get them..Ed Sheran has one…I’m just this chick who writes a blog..’

‘We need one…’

‘Don’t put YOU needing a Nandos Black Card on ME. Lol. Okay, fine…let’s do Nandos every day.’

Image result for nandos

He *beamed* with happiness….and as time flew and life went on…(I had a busy work day the next morning, so I had a lot to prep for), I waved ‘bye’ and he hung out of a window and shouted…

‘YOU DON’T MESS WITH A BROTHER AND HIS CHICKEN’

 

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Jeffrey! Jeffrey!

‘Jeffrey! Get them OFF our land!’

‘Jeffrey! Jeffrey! Set the DOGS on them! The Hooligans!’

(Hope you did that in your poshest British twang.)

Oh my LORD, did Firmonnell and I PISS ourselves laughing at the fact that we were going to send our friends, our glamourous dainty ‘Hot Sarah’ (who looks like a posh Barbie) friends, to places where in which they were either going to be quite heavily verbally abused, shot at OR eaten by  actual hound dogs!

HAHAHAH!

So funny! Nearly died! I love Firmonnell. It was just the moment when we looked at each other, flung back our heads with utter glee and OUT LOUD  uncontrollably SCREAMED with LAUGHTER at the fact that our friends could potentially be EATEN BY DOGS because we had guided them to the exact incorrect places. LOL! ND JUST FOR KICKS!

Then we got interupted by the ‘King of the North,’ which we didn’t mind, as we al love a bit of boy banter..

Firmonnell: ‘You should sit with us more often.’

ANYWAY, the ‘King of the North,’ is young, very stylish and happily married with 12 chihuahuas gent….and when he gets home, after his long day of ‘doing his hair‘ his WIFE has a red wine AND a gin and tonic freshly prepared FOR HIM, INCASE he fancies a drink. Being a guy, he apparently never wants EITHER and only ever asks for a ‘PEACH CORDIAL.’

HAHAHAHAHAH!

Firmonnell: ‘A PEACH FUCKING CORDIAL! THAT IS THE CAMPEST CHOICE OF CORDIAL EVER!’

We all pissed ourselves laughing WITH him, not at him and then Hot Sarah and I (as girls do) discussed his marriage…But not infront of him…as we’re far more polite than that. 🙂 Totally behind his back. Lol.

Luckily for him, it was in utter admiration. So let’s not get it twisted.

After a brief debate we came up with the fact that…’Hot Sarah’ thinks it’s cute that he has a beautiful wife, who waits for him, longs for him and serves him appropriately.

I think it’s a CLEVER that he picked so well…I mean, who has a wife that is that doting??? Who has a wife that yearns for their husbands arrival?  Well done him for picking well, blagging how great he is, or training well. LOL.

Then we both *paused* and after I shouted..

‘BUT I SAID PEACH CORDIAL GODDAMMIT…’

…we realised that INSTEAD of wishing that we were The King of the North’s WIFE, we both looked at each other and said,

‘I wish I had a guy that looked after ME that well.’ Lol.

I’ve decided..This is an executive Wunna Land decision…

I’m gonna pick WELL next time.

I mean JEEZE, us girls by nature always end up being all lovely and sacrificey and it’s cute because it’s in our nature to nurture.

However, to the ones of us, that are constantly working busy days, long hours, or building empires…we kinda want a guy to step in, sweep us off our feet and simply look after US for once. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!

I’ve never dated a guy that has been able to do that…aside from one…(Oh! And London Business Man would, if I chose to be with him. Yet, I’m not so sure that I could bank on him being there for the long run.)

HOWEVER, when it comes to love, I’m more traditional than most tend to believe. The only thing that is different, is that I work hard and have ambitious goals.So someone who understands my world, my passion, will win me, won’t they? And I know that sounds one sided but it’s not, as I’m a girl who understands the work load, ambition and love of ANY guy. So in that area emotionally, I KNOW, I’m sorted, as I know me well.

I mean gosh, I used to have these actors boyfriends who had to fly away for months on end to film movies, for work. I get it. Yet, with chicks, it’s weird. GUYS never get it, we either compromise greatly, or have to drop a zillion *hints* before they tune in. Lol.

But yes, I’m looking for a team mate to do forever with, more than I am ‘just some guy.’

Mel was hilarious today, as I found out that she finally gave her Valentines Day card to her new ‘love swirl’ who is still making her *beam* with excitement.

It was hilarious, because she bought him TWO cards, one sweet, one mushyish, exactly like she said she would, a week ago….She’s certainly ‘swirled’ over and cares about him madly. Yet she didn’t want to come across all ‘lovey dovey’ via Valentines cards just yet, so she bought a funny ‘i like you’ kinda card. 🙂

‘Chrissie. Honestly. I thought the card was BLANK on the inside. But i’ve opened it, to write it and it said….I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!’

We both pissed ourselves laughing at her distress. But any normal girl would just go with it. But no…Mel (lol) went with…

‘I thought about covering it up, sticking something over it, cutting it out…ALL SORTS. Even just crossing it out!’

HAHAHAHA!

‘Mel, you can’t just send someone a Valentines cards and CROSS OUT, the *I LOVE YOU* part! Lol. I love that you thought that was acceptable!’ HAHAHAH!

By this point, I was literally dying with laughter, as she ate millionaires shortbread and continued telling me the story via whispers.

Anyway, she came up with a solution, where in which she ever so romantically wrote him a fairytale, about how they met…using the ‘I LOVE YOU SO MUCH’ words on the card (it basically went through their love story and stated that she was a twat for picking a card that ended up being so mushy Lol) and when she told me the story, I looked at her and she was beaming.

It’s always about how ‘beaming’ this guy makes her feel. It’s magical and even more so, because by nature Mel is NOT someone who is openly ‘wooey.’ Yet you get little snippest of her softness, when you watch her and she thinks your not looking. Her daughter Alex walked by me today, all pretty, sassy and hilarious and Mel was the sweetest Mum ever…yet dashed in fun. It was great.

But today showed me how romantic she was, how happy she was and how fucking HILARIOUS she was!

YOU can’t CROSS OUT ‘I love you‘ in a Valentines card, because you’re not ready to say it yet. LOL

Men should always say it first. (If you do, that’s your quickest route to extra blow jobs. Be smart.)

I would be the smoothest guy on the planet. God! I mean you hear these horror stories of guys who just don’t get it! Love isn’t that hard, it’s just two compatible people who promise to take care and look out for one another, because their ‘magic’ can’t help it.

Everyone keeps asking me about my love life. I’m still single, nothing is happening…and i’m CASUALLY on the look out.

I was talking to these little tiny boys in a dark alley way tonight, who were being all sweary at passing by folk and trying to ‘play naughty’ when people walked by them.

It was funny because when I actually stopped to stand by them, as it was chucking it down and I didn’t want to get wet. I started talking to them and 3 minutes after their naughty ‘get ya tits out, fuck this ‘ banter had stopped…and I gave them ‘Wunna’ advice…they were hilarious and sort of sweet.

I was asking them what they wanted to be when they grew up and teaching them that chick hate it when you talk shit to them, when you really mean something else. You’d think by looking at the scruffs, that they’d be total dickheads, but they weren’t, they were actually super soft and all lovey dovey. Lol.

Then I walked off because I got bored and the rain had stopped…:)

They told me how ‘sexy’ I was as I left. Then tried to make me bum them cigs. I just looked, laughed, reminded them of how old they were…and then said,

‘Look…if I was sixteen and wanted a cig, I would’ve already managed to bum one myself. Quit trying to make other people get you what you want, because you’re too scared to try.’ 

‘He fancies you…’

‘Doesn’t everyone..’

HAHAHA! And that’s how I left it. Lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filth, Sex, Boys & Hilarious Girl Power

Sorry, I didn’t blog last night. I had a really busy day which ended up with me glamourously guzzling entire bottle of red, dancing to gangsta rap, then pretending I was P.Diddy and passing out. I did WANT to blog, yet was quite smartly advised for me not to 🙂 because as we know, i’m quite outspoken and ‘out’ spilly on ‘fun mode.’ It all gets the better of me doesn’t it. Plus, I thought I was gangsta. So I left it. 🙂 (And passed out.)

I have definitely learnt that letting people have your phone for a second is certainly DEVASTATING. Lol. All sorts of hilarious ‘jiggery pokery’ happened, that I had to promptly clean up with a terrified ‘ooh’ face! It’s a lesson I never learn. I’m far too trusting. 🙂 The last time I lent my phone to someone for maybe 3 minutes, they went on my Instagram and ‘love hearted’ a guy’s entire pictured life. His notifications will have ALL BEEN FROM ME, about 40 in a row Lol…and all on his smutty gym pics. Hahaha! And to make it worse, they even wrote comments from me, really cheesy ‘lovey ones about dogs and love and how I wished i was laid next to him! HAHAHAHAH! Another time, someone went through my Facebook inbox, which as you can imagine is a treat, if treat meant ‘absolute horror’ and saw that a guy had sent me hundreds of dirty messages that I had never replied to. My guy friend took it upon himself to reply to him with the words,

‘I’ve had a whisky baby and i’m drying up…’

Hahahah! Yet, my guy friend got what he derserved, as with almost a cyber *wink* of an eye, the guy sent back numerous videos of his willy and then a picture of him doing this weird hand dance with it? 😉 (Told you, you shouldn’t have done it. Lol)

Today has been a great day. I’m feeling stimulated, motivated, and fun! The girls and I have worked our socks off today but still managed to have literally THE BEST LAUGH EVER. In fact, the best laugh over the last TWO days. I’ve been in creases. Girls definitely fun the world.

So much has happened that I don’t even know where to begin..? Mel walked into the office and called me FAT! Lol.

‘Have you got your waist trainer on today?’

‘No..’

‘Oh, good, cos I see all your over hang!’

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then I HAD to eat everything out of our FILTH drawer with Fairytale Blond and Hot Sarah (who was sick and dying today, but suggested that I have her germs, so i could get skinny too) simply out of sympathy. All of us, including Firmonnell and Double B are SHIT with a filth drawer A drawer just filled with filth. We an’t stop ourselves and rummage in until we have it completely DESTROYED!

‘OOh look, I’ve found a chewy mint hidden in the bottom of the drawer’

Which fat fuck has eaten all the sweets?’

‘I’ve just got no will power.’

Then Mel took it upon herself to make sure that Hot Sarah knew that a certain room had been ‘stunk out’ by Firmonnell…

‘Becareful when you go up there?’

‘Why?’

‘Stinks of fish…’

‘Why?’

‘Dunno, Firmonnell did it, she forgot to wear pants today.’ 

HAHAHAH! Dying!

Firmonnell: ‘I’m paranoid now, it must’ve been my cous cous???’ 

Then like life couldn’t get any better ‘Double B’ hears some great news, that added to her new great £300 Rapunzel hair..The Vogue Top Knot, has DIED…

‘Oh my god! We’ve done it! He’s done it for us! I’m definitely giving him a blow job. Definitely sending him nudes, to thank him.’ 🙂 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Guys are ace, as we as girls could really send nudes to thank them if we really wanted. Lol. Smashed a business deal. Here’s in with no bra on.

Then she went on about how she once got so drunk that she made a sandwich on a door. I once got so drunk that I woke up with a traffic cone celotaped to my head and passed out on a West Hollywood merry..go..around in a lime green fedora, after tequila. (All because a guy named Ryan didn’t love me. Was it Ryan? Lol.)

BUT, Hot Sarah then steams in with a..

‘Well..my friend, has a friend, who she shared a room with in Uni and whenever girls were drunk and around, she would beckon them into a room, tell them she had an enlarged vulva (hahahaha, sorry i’m dying)…and then get it out to show them.’ 

‘Was she a lesbian?’

‘No, she just liked getting her massive vulva out and showing it to people…and it WAS really enlarged.’

HAHAHAHAHAH!

The previous day Hot Sarah, Firmonnell and I had had a conversation about whether we’d marry Ed Sheran. I obviously admire his work, yet just don’t find him sexy. I just couldn’t get jiggy with him. But he could play me love songs and i’d adore him.

Hot Sarah reckoned that she could marry him, but then changed her mind because his face was piggy like.

Firmonnell went for it with a ‘I’d marry him. I love him. He’s amazing. So down to earth, so sweet, so talented..I think he’s sexy!’

Hot Sarah: ‘Yeah, he seems so romantic and just lovely…’

Firmonnell: ‘But would you fancy him if he just worked at Greggs?’ (HAHAHAH DYING! SORRY.)

Me: ‘Would YOU marry him, if he worked at Greggs?’

Firmonnell: ‘No. Lol. I only like him as Ed Sheran, as he is…NOW..because it’s like he’s a celebrity who is so down to earth and that never happens…’

Hot Sarah: ‘So you like him with world wide fame, talent and millions….’

We all LAUGHED..but then we all paused, thought about it and then said ‘Yes.’ 🙂

Sheran is too studenty looking for me. I like a ‘swarvo.’ Then they made fun of the celebs that I fancy, like Ronaldo and Lewis Hamilton.

‘So you only have to be the BEST IN THE WORLD at something for Chrissie to fancy you.’

(Note: That is not the case….when tipsy. 🙂 )

Then we went on about how it was weird that people could talk to me online, yet if they were to see me in a public place, they sort of fill themselves up with terror and daren’t even look at me. A girl did that to me in a bar recently. I don’t bite. Well,I might when i’m in my piece of shit waist trainer that makes me viscous.

Both Firmonell and Hot Sarah said this,

‘Well if I didn’t know you as a person in real life, and just read your blog, I would think you’re a completely different type of person..’

Yeah, but i don’t  get that, as it’s still me, i’m writing it…just being me?’

‘Yeah, but if i didn’t actually know you, I wouldn’t have guessed how down to earth you are..’

My brain must be high maintenance and scary. Or I talk so much shit that I terrify you. (Send nudes.)

Double B then decided that she wanted a colonic.

Mel: ‘What? Are you going to buy a douche…’

Double B: ‘NO! A FUCKING PROFESSIONAL ONE. I don’t fancy self douching myself.’ 

HAHAHAHAH! I was just in creases from the start of this conversation. I couldn’t even contain myself at the thought of Double B self douching. HAHAHA. DYING!

*Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your…WHAT THE FUCK!?!’

London Business Man sent me a Whatsapp, moaning that I haven’t managed to do catch up drinks with him yet. But i really am busy. He told me my ‘waist training’ selfie was ‘insane’ and that he HAS to see me. I haven’t really seen him in half a year. Lol. It’s amazing what a waist trainer can do. Doesn’t make me feel good AT ALL, but totally pulls….EVERYONE. My Facebook comments are *tippy tapping* over this picture…

Image may contain: one or more people, phone and selfie

My waist trainer is a bitch. I’ve called her Veronica, because that sounds like a bitchy name. (If that’s your name, sorry….Keep reading. 🙂 )

But to end all this doo dah, let me tell you a nice story.

Well to be fair it started off shit…I watched someone close to me, who’s a big girl, have secret little girl tears. We all do it and the great thing about being a strong girl, is that when we’re around our chick friends, we’re comfortable enough to have a big cry, open up, talk about our love lives, call each other fat, talk about sex and say our privates smell like fish.

YET, as soon as work, business or men are infront of us the banter quits, the brains work, the tears dry and we stand tall like the hottest Sasserilla’s who have ever seen.

But what I will say that is was heartbreaking to see someone you care about, a strong, tough girl, shed proper ‘little girl’ tears. What I mean by ‘little girl tears’ is that moment when you look at a grown women and she is so sad that you need to give her a cuddle because her face, at that moment, reminds you, that on the inside at times,  she’s still a girl a little girl, who HAS to be a warrior. I get that! I’ve been there.

Yet, the wonderful thing about that moment, was that it had something to do with her past that was muddling with her present….

However, when she travelled home, to her little amazement, her ‘future’ was sat, in a car, outside her house, with a bunch of tulips, (which is her FAVOURITE flower) and with them he solved all her problems with love, smarts and a warmth that makes us women melt.

It made me smile when she told me the story because any girl who is lucky enough to be with a guy, who remembers her favourite flower and is waiting  outside her home to surprise her, with the intentions and solutions to ‘sort out’ all her problems, is more than a God Send, but a miracle..and she deserves it.

Romance is alive….


 

 

 

 

Weekends, Tears & Life Choices

I’ve had the entire weekend off to just be ‘Me,’ do nothing and enjoy being Mum. I’ve worked so hard and over so many hours over the past month, that just taking a full weekend off where you’re just you and you’re not in a dash to get to your next train, or over thinking your next marketing plan, or running off to meet with the next human, who you’d like to work with, makes all the difference. I don’t need to do it all the time. I just need to do it now. 🙂 Keeps you sane doesn’t it. Plus, it gives me that *pinch* of reality, as sometimes when you’re working so hard, everything becomes a *dash* and you begin to feel like a commodity (which is something you’re actually trying to create for business) and less like an actual human….(which is something that you truly are.) In fact, this also goes hand in hand with love…Often my inbox (mainly my Facebook Inbox and Website email account) will get jammed up with hundreds of messages from guys either being lovely or being dirty, or just being…mainly trying to trick me into chatting to them 🙂 …and in those moments it does make me feel like a commodity and not an actual human being. I mean GOD, if you actually truly liked a girl and wanted her to be yours and you had one shot to make an impression via an inbox message, would to really begin your introduction with…a penis. Even if you simply wanted to *bone* her…the approach you use is vital. A dick pic will never ever work, unless it has been requested! Hahaha! I never request, so don’t get excited! Honestly, all we’ll do is show all our chick friends and laugh at it. (I don’t even have time to do laughing at it! Well I did once, last Summer with ‘Double B’ on a bench in Pontefract. Hahaha. I can’t remember who’s willy it was? Prince someone?) Plus, you’re also a tool if you try to do the charming whoosh of banter, or loveliness, yet with the intention of only wanting to *poke the pie* so to speak. I’m Chrissie Wunna, I don’t fall for that at all. I’ve been there, heard it all, learnt the hard way and charmed my way back all over again. Just be you. The more real you are, consistent you are and the more reliable you are…the more we will *heart* you. To me…thoughtfulness is sexy. (Oh and I guy with an impressively working brain will win over an ‘i’m in the shower’ shot. Don’t get me wrong, I love eye candy…Yet I can’t build an empire with ‘six pack.’ And if you don’t know how to ‘woo’ me, it’ll make me think you either  don’t want me bad enough or you’re brain hasn’t been able to creatively figure out an approach. Lol) Shit! I’m harsh! No wonder i’m single. But it’s true! Hahaha. Be in love or work…There’s a lot of things we palm off with an ‘I don’t have time for…’ Yet in real life if we really really wanted to do it…we’d make time for it. ALWAYS. When we do, in regards to work, we move further up the ladder. When we do, when it comes to romance, we know that the other party is interested, as they will have made time for you.

I’ve chilled all weekend with Ruby and Junior and it’s been wonderful. We’ve laughed, we’ve lunched, we’ve shopped and just seeing their faces beam as made me complete. Junior’s clung onto me with smiles, like i’m his entire world and Ruby has been HILARIOUS. Honestly, she’s the most sarcastic, fun loving five year old ever. I found her stood at the top of the booze isle at our local supermarket on Friday at 7pm, when the isle was FILLED with tired working mums, who were all grabbing wine. Whenever they walked past her, doing that ‘oh it’s kid, I better smile’ thing, Ruby sweetly smiled back and then shouted ‘YOU’RE A DRUNK’ at EACH MOTHER! Hahahahaha! I shouldn’t laugh. But honestly, it was the most hilarious thing ever. Even the Hot Dads that were stood about, were weeing themselves as she scorned each woman that went past with wine. SHE even found it funny. This is why I shouldn’t be left to raise babies by myself. I had to retrieve her and demand that she ‘Abort Mission’ by rushing up (it was a fake rush, just to look like i didn’t know it was happening, 🙂 and say this, whilst taking her hand…

‘Sorry about that. She’s mine. You can obviously probably tell. But know that I’m a functioning alcoholic, so don’t feel bad about the wine..’

Ruby smirked and started shouting,

‘CHRISSIE WUNNA, GET OFF ME.!’ EVIL!

Anyhow, although things have been quite family…I’ve still caught up on bits of work and emailed a bunch of people back. I’m in a busy time of promo and sorting out my cocktail tour. There’s a lot of exciting stuff going on with that…so I’ll be able to tell you all about it, as I go along. especially up to the Valentines run up!

I dropped the babies off with their Dad’s today, as every Sunday they have a ‘Daddy Lunch’ day. Like i’ve always said, even though there have been babies and breakups, Pete, Keiran and I are really close and get along really well and simply to make sure that ‘The Wunna babies’ are raised with love. We co..parent like Superstars and my parents (who are currently away) all chip in, whole heartedly to raise them like pros!

Dropped Ruby off. She was happy as can be. Pete, lovely as can be. He’d washed some of her clothes to give me and filled with love and giggles, he said ‘Bye’ to Junior and they both jogged off into the distant. This last week has been tough with childcare, as will the upcoming week, because we have my Mother missing. The system works, yet if you pull a being out of it…it all goes potty!

However, Keiran and I went through the opposite today. I called him to do the baby drop off, he didn’t realize that he had Junior today, because i had a very busy last week and the schedule had been turned upside down at very short notice. He’s been realy reliable and there for me. Yet Keiran needs order,  IN ORDER to function. I am so used to changes that I can function with a wink and a finger point and it can be in ANY direction. But he’s running a company and trying to fit in his ‘social’ bits and for the first time in a long time, because of me, he had to actually make SACRIFICES. Not something he’s used to…as My Mum and I will always have it in the bag.

But yes, a phone bicker occurred, because he got a little cocky for no reason, when all I needed was help. I’m someone that NEVER asks for help unless I really need it and also someone that has sacrificed all sorts for everyone…anyone. I get that trait from my Mother.

Yet, he made me feel as though I was WRONG for ‘doing me’ because he wanted to do HIM. He made me feel, without him knowing, almost GUILTY for trying to hustle, when he had things that HE WANTED to do and because of my busy LAST WEEK (know that it has only been ONE WEEK that has affected him) he almost threw a strop.  It upset me, so I simply said,

‘That’s fine, I’ll take Junior with me..’ *Hung up.*

He must’ve got that I was narked off, as the next call was Keiran and he demanded that I brought him over…yet kindly, like he was sorry. (Junior was now kicking off, because he now didn’t want to go and just wanted a chill day with me.)

I dropped Junior off and today being 3, he just didn’t want to go. He cried all the way there and just looked at me with tear dripped eyes asking me for a Mummy day. As a Mum and as a basic human, no matter how much of a ‘Boss/Diva/Hard Worker’ or whatever else you label yourself, in that moment every inch of my entire soul filled with tears…I didn’t cry, as Keiran lifted Junior out the car and Junior glared at me, crying, telling him to make sure I pick him up soon…I sort of had to ‘shut off’ emotionally and not let the moment get me.

I got into my car quickly, I shut the door and I drove off…I just needed to drive…I just needed…

Well..I’ll be honest, the radio had turned into just background noise, as my heart took over and my mind stopped focusing…and as I just drove…my eyes filled up and I cried…I cried all the way… and I don’t if I cried because of Junior’s little face and it made me feel guilty or if I cried because I had felt that Keiran had stressed out over having to sacrifice himself FOR JUST ONE WEEK and tried to make me feel bad for trying to get ahead in work, like I haven’t ever sacrificed!

Are you kidding me! I sacrificed my WHOLE ENTIRE CAREER, because I had no choice, when he left. He sacrificed nothing, not even a party schedule, let a lone a work schedule at that time. I had a 2 year old and a newborn baby at the time, I was at a showbizzy *peak* and I had to let it all go…because I couldn’t manage it all by myself and i was fine with it, because I had to ‘man up’ and deal with it. Even to this day, i’m thankful for it, as it made me strong and it made my blog REAL, which is what made it popular. I told you when I was happy. I told you when I was sad. I told you everything.

I waited for years, working odd little jobs here and there…until Ruby and Junior got older and this year they’re BOTH finally in school and now with the correct approach, good whole heartedly help and determination…I can do this….and I won’t let anyone make me feel bad for trying. I’m doing well….

Regardless, we’re okay again now, we’ve spoken again…we have these little co parenting *blips* and once we’ve shouted it out, we’re fine. After i’ve finished my next meeting, I’m going to pick Junior up, just because I promised him that I would. So we’re all good. I’m happy.

I noticed that when I was in the car and no one was there, I cried, but didn’t really ‘let it all out.’ I stopped myself? Why? No one was there? That’s wrong.

Just now, whilst typing this, I began to fill up (as I didn’t manage to let out my BIG weep lol) and I stopped myself because..well i’m in the middle of a busy Starbucks and everyone would SEE me. That…I get! But when i’m alone, I should be able to cry it out. What is wrong with me?

Anyway, I’m off…I have a meeting and a quick interview to tend to…

Maybe I like to be busy, so I don’t have to *pause* and feel as much, because by nature i’m quite sensitive. I’m warm. I’m thoughtful. Yet, because i’m sassy, people don’t think that I would be?

But like I said…I’ve got my next meeting to get to… 🙂

Speak soon…

Chrissie

I just need a Prosecco and a period i’m sure. Lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Work, Blackpool, Drama’s & Cocktails

a1

‘What did she say?’

‘Gonorrhea..’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Defintely!’ 🙂 

Yes, today is the day where I spent a moment of my life, (oh life) listening ‘Fairytale Blond’ proudly tell  ‘Hot Sarah’ her story of how she has an immune system disease, with a Pukka tea in her hand, that she shared and it was delicious. For some reason I made the executive decision to change her disease to ‘Gonorrhea’..and ‘Chinese Whisper’ it on to Firmonnell. 🙂 🙂

I don’t even know? I was bored, even though it was busy. But it was funny! I need to entertain the masses, as we’re again going through lots of changes. Plus, they all know we well enough anyway and just went with my Tom Foolery for kicks, APART FROM ‘Firmonnell’ who decided to nag at me for inaccurately delivering the story of her ‘breast milk pancake’ club.

‘What was INACCURATE about YOU joining a Mum’s club that MADE breast milk pancakes for fun??? You said that!’

‘No i didn’t! I said I was JUST THERE. I DIDN’T MAKE THE PANCAKES out of fucking breast milk.

Hahaha, like  ‘just BEING there’ wasn’t hilarious enough????? Don’t know about you, but i’ve lived a rather eventful life! Y’know, I’ve coloured outside every box, danced with fire, as it’s danced along with me…but not ONCE in my ENTIRE EXISTENCE have I EVER had the delicious experience of ‘breast milk pancake friends’ AND at a community centre. HAHAHAHA. DYING!

Again..this is probably why i’m single! 🙂 I’m a tit. But one that doesn’t produce pancakes. 🙂

I don’t think i’m actually adoring being a singleton right now. I’m not liking it as much as I thought. (That isn’t a grene light for everyone to jump on in. I’m not a desperado…I can still hol dout for the right pick. Lol.

I love, love. I love the fun and loveliness that comes with joining forces with a team mate. Y’know, someone who understands you and does life with you, someone you can build an ’empire’ with and enjoy secrets with..all of that. Someone you love and take care of. I really hope to find that guy. I really hope to fall in love, as my relationship with WORK I have down now. We get on well, because i’ve nurtured that rapport. Lol. I’m headed on the right track and doing it well. I’m feeling confident. (Even though there’s been a lot of entertainment type, other work ‘DRAMA’ today, for no real reason? If I despise anything it’s drama. I get my giant glitter scissors out and cut myself away from it all immediately, as I just see it as negative and what I know in life is that NEGATIVE PEOPLE, who don’t radiate a warmth or a kindness NEVER EVER DO AS WELL AS THEY WISH. And they never do well because they waste so much of their time concentrating on bitterness instead of focusing on being better. It’s that simple.)

But yes, now that i’ve preached. Life is great! It’s always great because i have the best friends, family and colleagues around me constantly, who without them even knowing keep me grounded, smiling and..well sharp witted. Lol. I’m cheeky, i’m charming and i’m dashed in what I call ‘glamourousity.’ When my ‘entertainmenty’ world is turning into madness, and it is a mad world, as the business of ‘show’ is a cut throat industry. It’s almost unreal…it’s a dog eat dog kinda game of ‘who does it best’….And well it’s during those times when the ‘family, friends and colleagues,’ make everything okay again without them even knowing. I appreciate that and more than they would ever think.

I guess i’m going through a weird  ‘becareful what you wish for, as you just might get it’ stage. I’m happy and I’m working hard and I understand all that, I mean GOD i grew up in Hollywood. Yet when there’s glitter drama swirling around me, i’m really good at keeping my eye on the prize, concentrating on what matters, staying focused and just doing what I love and loving what I do. (By myself.) I get ahead in the time that people waste and it makes a difference.

I’m doing really well right now and I’m working really hard for everything that seems to be coming into ‘bloom.’ More than anything i’m adoring every moment of writing this blog. Giving back creatively and telling the story of my life, as I go along… to ME.. is simply wonderful. Like I always tell you, this blog, is literally the only thing that I have been disciplined and accidentally dedicated to for almost a decade. Before all the modelling in LA, TV stuff, love life dramas and everything in between occurred….there was this blog. AND I LOVED IT. I even loved it before it was public and when it was still just a little jotter that I scribbled in with a biro, on my sunny balcony in West Hollywood on Kings Road, as my neighbour Cletus, popped out (we sort of shared the balcony) to make cups of tea and give me advice, as my love life was always shitty. An ‘almost’ decade onward, a whole new life, continent, three failed marriages and two babies later, i’m STILL writing it, loving it…BUT NOW everyone is listening…

That little balcony jotter, 8 years on… has turned into a FINALIST in the UK BLOG AWARDS THIS YEAR! It’s crazy. My life is just…crazy. So, I know my time will come…and when it does…(and it seems to be going well,) i’ll make impact. It’s not how MUCH you do…it’s the impact you make when you do it.

ANYWAY, aside from all that! Thank you for all your emails and messages. I read them ALL even though I kinda don’t get enough time to always reply! I’m doing an ‘Ask me anything’ blog shortly and weeing myself at some of the questions you’ve drop kicked into my inbox. Lol. I’m really excited to whop out my replies…but mainly because i’m an ego maniac. 🙂 I enjoy it. I love a Q& A. Lol.

People have also been asking me about my time with Blackpool. Why I was there? What I was doing? Well, after I shot for House of Solo Magazine in Leeds, I shot down to Manchester and then to Sunny Blackpool to meet up with Liam Halewood for a couple of evening cocktails. It was really great, as I’d never really met him before, yet i watched him on Xtra Factor and knew that his spirit was hilarious.

I arrived in Blackpool, he picked me up from the station with his friend Aaron, who was sweet and oozed a kindness…and then after I was driven to his, I had a cuppa tea, talked to ‘Alexa,’ who is this Amazon robot thing that does everything you tell it too! OH mY GOD! Literally EVERYTHING you tell it to! You tell ‘Alexa’ to sing for you..She whops out a tune…You tell her to turn on the lights, or pop on the kettle…SHE FUCKING DOES….like magic. I NEED TO MARRY ALEXA. I then met his dog Jimmy, appreciated the stylishness of his home, giggled the evenings events with Aaron and then met Liam’s husband.

We got changed, we had fun, we gossiped about people and went out for windy cocktails in Blackpool. So much fun. A hilarious evening. I couldn’t even walk in my diamantee heels AND I WAS SOBER. But cut me some slack, do remember that I had been up at the crack of dawn doing the fashion shoot in Leeds, after the longest week of ‘every hour going’ work….I did well to get my glad rags on and do cocktails under then night lights of Blackpool with the boys. Yet, i always say that it’s the company you choose to keep that determines how much of a great time you’ll have. I couldn’t have been in better company. It was one of those random ‘good times,’ filled with laughter witty banter, and just letting lose. I needed to feel free for a moment…as i’d been working SO hard that a ‘melt down’ could’ve occured. Lol. Plus, I hadn’t drank all day, so i needed to feel comfy and I needed a wine, before we even started the night out. So we walked to the shop to get one quickly, as you need one when you’re getting ready. Liam looked all styley, with his shoe game on point. I WENT IN MY ONESIE. 🙂 I know!! Whatever, it was cold outside and it felt so cosy. AND the shop was literally two seconds away.

‘Chrissie they haven’t got a mini wine??’

‘Ugh! What is there?’

‘You an get a can of Jack Daniels! Lol!’

‘But do they sell straws? I can’t drink out of a mini wine or a can of JD without a straw. I’ll look like a DICKHEAD!’

I had totally forgotten that I was STOOD in the middle of a guy’s newsagents IN MY ONESIE, already looking like  prize twat, whilst in heels and concerning myself over the fact that I hadn’t got a straw for my goddamn can of JD. 🙂

‘Look! I’ll just buy a Ribena and you can use THAT straw.’

See! I adore people who come up with solutions to my problems. Lol. Ribena is purchased, the straw is placed in my can of Jack Daniels in a can. I’m now the happiest girl in all of the world. I’m armed with a Gucci bag. Yes, I looked THAT terrible…and as soon as we walk out the newsagents…

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

(It actually happened ALL night, wherever we went.)

Now….in these situations, you can either shy away or you can realise that even though you’re comfy, you look like a tool and commit to it. Ofcourse I went for commit to it…and well we all know that i’m the exact opposite to camera shy. I took my facebook slutty onesie pics to the NEXT LEVEL. Hahah.

It’s a good time. We laughed all the way back to his…nearly got run over….but laughed….

‘Fucking hell, i’m not going down like that!’

Then we got changed for our night out. It’s was a windy night and we were meant to go for posh beachfront cocktails at Beach House. But it was closed.

So instead we tottered into into ‘Las Iguanas,’ which was across the street and filled with a bright ‘life.’ You know how much I love a fun Mexican joint. It’s one of my favourite types of ‘hang outs’ as there’s always something quite relaxed yet exciting about them. My second husband was Mexican. Being Chrissie Martinez for a bit was hilarious. Before that, I was a ‘Weverstad’ and then when I got to England, I was a ‘Thompson’…Then there was just ME again….as a Wunna! 🙂 And even though I get along with all three guys so well…I’m much happier.

We all enjoyed cocktails and the most delicious nibble trays at ‘Las Iguanas.’ I’d definitely go again. The food was delicious. Plus, I adore a good nibble plate. It was great! We bantered about life and love. Just all sorts really.

I guess Liam had been in there before, he seems to know everyone in Blackpool. He’s pretty much just produced and put together his own reality show, called ‘Fylde Coast’ that depicts life in Blackpool, yet one that shows you a more glamourous and fun side to it. I’ve officially done cocktails in Blackpool now so I can literally tell you that been there IS a glamourous side to it! I watched the trailer of the show on his phone, whilst I was sat on the sofa and let me tell you.. I was pretty ‘hooked.’ If you enjoy tongue in cheek, yet fun reality shows…then you will LOVE  ‘Fylde Coast.’ I hope it does well! 🙂

That night was a great night, as I got to let loose for a second during a very busy, busy work week.

Yet, as per usual, I was dashed to the train station when the clock struck ‘time to leave’…and just like that, after a few selfies, an evening of being papped and a great time meeting new friends…I waved Blackpool ‘goodbye,’ as my train left Platform 6…and made it’s way to Manchester Piccadilly.

(Y’know, when it got to Manchester Piccadilly and in the 7 minutes that I had before I was headed to Leeds…and whilst some strange gentleman was trying to hide the fact that he was smoking on the platform, yet still managing to do weird slutty faces at me…I AGAIN, used my 1 percent of my remaining life to Snapchat Steven Bartlett. Not to be creepy or anything…well, i’m sure i look creepy….But I had seen his snap a day before or so, which was asking people to give ‘ask HIM’ anything’ for his Q & A. I actually have A HUNDRED THINGS TO ASK HIM, so this was music to my ears, but i just couldn’t find a spare minute to simply send a ‘snap’ to him. I found that minute…on Platform 13 of Manchester Piccadilly, now 3 minutes before my train arrived. I began filming….and just as i was about to ask my question….MY PHONE DIED. What is my life!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Should All Move To Manchester & Do ‘The Robot’

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YOU HAVE 34 DAYS LEFT OF 2016! Yes you do! Yes you do! And it is SO important that you make the MOST of these last 34 days that we have. If you’ve worked hard all year, embrace the last jolly days of the year with fun, silliness and rummy cocktails. Give yourself a break. If you’ve been a total waster all year :)…take this time to maybe put together a better and more productive plan for the year ahead. If you’ve suffered from breakups, enjoy love. If you’ve been loved up…commit to independent good times. WE WILL ALL START NEW CHAPTERS in 34 days!

But more importantly, YOU ALL HAVE MY BIRTHDAY TO SAVE UP FOR, 🙂 so start emptying those piggy banks and gathering those coppers, as i have me a list that could roll out and blanket half the entire universe with glitter. Lol. (The fact that i’m actually kidding hurts me. If ONLY life was as simple as a ‘get me’ list. It’d make things so much easier. I guess i don’t focus as much on ‘stuff.’ Don’t get me wrong, I do love ‘stuff.’ I have a lot of stuff and i adore it all. But now that i’m in this certain position that i’ve found myself in life, experiences are important to me, as they create memories, thoughtfulness i always find sexy, so you can go far with me with that one…and well the things that i actually want or need for my birthday, if birthdays were magical and THEY ARE, are things that people wouldn’t be able to buy for me, as they are things that i’d have to work for and find….myself.) BUT DO SEND ME STUFF. I LOVE STUFF. It makes me think you care.

I’ve done so much this weekend that i don’t even know where to begin. Swung out of work on Friday, after we all decided that we all have everything else, in life be it babies, love, or whatever it is that ‘tree huggers’ harp on about, that matters…and that the only things we all have missing is SHIT LOADS OF CASH. I work really hard and i’m grateful for the little things, the big things, family, love, life and all sorts, but don’t you get me wrong, i am a girl who strongly BELIEVES that money matters. It makes life better. Not just easier. Yes you need balance. But with the money that you’ve made, you can do all of the things that you WANT to do in life. You can LIVE without having to make sacrifices. And in this current day and age…being able to do that, is down to an accumulation of dosh. IT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE. Then i remembered that i promised a girl that i’d be her lesbian girlfriend, if i didn’t find love by 40 and left to start the weekend on a high note.

Anyway. This weekend i was in a random bar in Manchester, (i’ve been going to Manchester a lot, spend almost half my time there. ) I can’t even to this moment remember what this bar was called? It wasn’t one of the usual popular cocktail bar haunts, that i’m quite the fixture at, yet just some place that you run into to stay out of the cold, for one quick one, before your get to your bouji destination.

Now, i don’t know what happened? But one drink ended up being loads and my chick friend seems to be able to guzzle drinks down like some kind of booze baboon. Everyone was around us, everyone wanted to chat to us, it was like a fun, Christmas blur of the best good times ever. People, laughter, music ATTENTION. 🙂 I’d been explaining to her that she wasn’t an alcoholic, because my friend Sarah and I had come up with the conclusion over salads, that even though we have a drink every night, we are DEFINITELY NOT alcoholics, because i once met a guy who opened his door to me in cold sweats, pj bottoms, looking like he was about to die, with his ENTIRE BODY SHAKING from withdrawal symptoms, to the point where he couldn’t speak for shaking and she once saw a guy falling about drunk at 8am one morning, who then went on to take off his shoe and puke in it. I’ve never puked in a shoe, or shook in pj bottoms in a sweat…Means i’m not an alcoholic. 🙂

Long story short, i let my rubbish tool of a personality and good times get the better of me and before you know it i had gotten myself involved in this comedy dance off, with some random dude who was trying to make me commit to such foolery. The way my friend tells it is like this:

‘She sort of just started giggly moon walking backwards into a crowd, with her boobies and BOOM she turned around, the crowd had parted and she found herself involved in this bizarre Manchester dance off. YET unlike a normal human being, she didn’t just politely walk off with a smile, SHE FUCKING COMMITTED TO IT. And i couldn’t piss myself more.’

From my point of view, i knew i was going for it mid moonwalk, as fuck it, we need silly fun times to feel alive. I only have 34 days left of the year. 😉 I just didn’t realize how intense my opponent was. Lol. I thought it was going to be a laugh! Not the flipping ‘Britains Got Talent’ finals. Then my Pride kicked in and i couldn’t be shit, even though i was laughing it off…so i went for it. I went for it like a dickhead who over tries on the karaoke, when they can sing a bit, but  can’t actually sing that great, however, they think the can. That was me…in some bar…in boobs…in my House of CB dress…in Manchester.

He was popping and locking and busting and thrusting. He was all over it, but kinda shit too. So it made my job easier, as the crowd focused on looks and the funnest being and i totally won that war. 😉 I went for it. Then i had him, because there’s only a point where in which a guy an actually contain himself, around a girl who has all her focus upon him and is BEING EXTREMELY SEXY & FLIRTY TO WIN infront of him, in the form of gyratey dance moves. 🙂 After that point, testosterone kicks in and all sorts happen to their ‘parts’ and their minds and BOOM they become weak.

I could see him thinking it through mid body pop…

‘Does she fancy me? Would i actually be able to get my end away? Nooo, she just wants to the win the dance off? Wait? Does she fancy me?’ 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

He lost his cool, he ended up falling to pieces, I WHOPPED OUT ‘THE ROBOT!’ Yes, i didn’t even know i could DO ‘The Robot’ but i committed to the basic yet fulfilling art of it, like a demon.

Everything *paused* and like i was Rocky Balboa, the crowd cheered and I won the Dance Off. He even offered to buy me a drink afterward, but I smiled, patted him on the back and tottered off. Then I tickled away to Tattu as it was so much better than hooligans and boners in bars. LOL. I’ve done lots this weekend. I’ve been everywhere, Manchester, Doncaster, Leeds. I hit The Botanist the other evening in Leeds with friends. I feel like i’ve lived a little.

It’s weird, as even though there’s this very apparent ‘up for a laugh’ adventure streak in me…there’s an odd swirl of sophistication that dances around with that…I’m a hard chick to read. Most people get it wrong. But i hope you don’t.

The next morning i was back with the babies, doing Santa’s Grotto’s at The Frenchgate shopping centre in Doncaster, we did Toy R Us, lunches, we did the Prosecco Pit Stop 🙂 , lights, rides, fun, CHRISTMAS and I pretty much gave them the most wonderful weekend that we have probably ever had as a family, in a really LONG time. I spoilt them rotten. I let them have whatever they wanted, do whatever they wanted and just live. (They’re not crazy, so it wasn’t so hardcore.) But they loved it so much because they’re eyes beamed when they smiled at me and their little Wunna hearts beated with excitement. You could just SEE that they felt so special, which made so happy.

The evening was spend in pj’s cuddling up, by the Christmas tree, watching telly and eating popcorn. BLISS! Even though i’ve been out and about, i’ve been blessed with so much of the very best family time.

This morning, i had ‘Daddy drop off’s.’ Like I’ve always said, Pete, Keiran and I co/parent so well with one another. We have our ups and downs, but the thing we have in common is the one thng we focus on and that’s the love of our children. I mean this morning, Ruby, Junior, My Mum, Keiran and I did breakfast at Ackworth Garden Centre, which was a place that was filled with love and Christmas. The kids LOVED IT. I loved it as i got to banter with old friends. And Keiran loved it as he felt part of a family. There was something about him today that made me want to care for him, as i guess when you’re the Dad part of the ‘separated parents’ malarky, Christmas isn’t as fun. On my end, it’s busy and joyous, exciting and wild. The babies are everywhere and we’re enjoying it loudly with bells on. Today he was happy, we got along great, but he had something missing from his soul…and that was everything that i had…The family. He misses it. I know him better than anyone…he misses it. He’s watching the kids grow up and that’s hard on him. He’s watching me grow…and that’s hard on him. He’s not a bad guy, bless him.

Always one to make people cheery, with smiles and laughter I looked at him and said,

‘Gosh! You’ve got to put a tree up Keiran. You don’t hate Christmas. You LOVE Christmas. You love getting gifts! You have Ruby and Junior! You can come spend Christmas with us. It’s not just another day. You’re not alone!!’

After that we laughed, chatted, played with Ruby and Junior and did the baby exchange. Then Ruby, my mum and I, met my dad and brother for lunch together at The Mallard. Where i did wine. Yipppeee!

Right now, i’m in a Fox Onesie and i don’t even know how that’s happened?? I was moderately moany about it at first…Yet now that my boilers broken and not getting fixed until tomorrow, the Fox onesie is a marvel.

 

 

 

A jazzy bit of co…parenting…

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Brilliant Sunday! Woken up refreshed! Had my own loin fruit attempt to *tease* me because i looked ‘rough’ without my face on.

‘Aww, well that’s unfortunate for you two, as you BOTH seem to have the same FACE as me, without my ‘face’ on. :)’ 

Then one squeezed my boob and the other slapped my bum and they both filled the air with giggles, as they ran into Wunna land to go off and cause havoc. GOD! Why can’t i just wake up in the morning and hear a ‘You’re beautiful’ without having to go on my Facebook comment sections, or say ‘Cya, catch ya later’ to a boy who doesn’t actually love me. (Note// That doesn’t happen often. But has happened enough, throughout my lifetime. Ah fuck! Now, i’m *flashbacking* each one in turn. Happy Sunday.)

This morning, i’ve tingo, tangoed at Ackworth Garden Centre, to enjoy Christmas early with little Baby Junior. He loves it there and well we just can’t keep away. It could be Christmas every day for me. I love it. It’s my birthday soon. It’s my favourite time of year! I’m all bout the mulled wine and tinseled tits. I’ll sit on Santa’s knee any day of the year. 😉

Then we shopped for groceries, but only down all the warm isles, as i hate the cold ones, they make me feel uncomfortable and have really bad lighting. 🙂  I was in my giant white faux fur, as decent folk judged my basket…and i was fine with that as it took the focus off ME…even though it was MY basket.

‘Oh? Pull ups and wine?’ (YES, PULL UPS AND WINE. Deal with it. 🙂 )

After that Junior and I grabbed a ‘drinky methinky’ at Ego, in Ackworth. I have so much fun there and the staff are always great to my family and I. I had margaritas by a toy tractor and Junior had a double juice bonanza and got so comfy.. that he fell asleep. Haha. This is not  regular family cocktail bar etiquette. Not that it’s normal for children to be in family cocktail bars. But in Wunna land it’s pretty normal. Ruby LOVES a hotel executive suite. 😉 And it’s not even because she’s bouji, it’s simply because when she was tiny, i had to travel a lot, audition a lot and appear briefly on tv shows. I was a single mum, she had to come with me, with child care.

Anyway we ended up having to skip lunch and just get a taxi home…Junior has NEVER been in a taxi, in his entire life and doesn’t understand the concept of it all. So the absolute despair on his face, was hilarious. He gave him *daggers* the entire way home.

‘WHO IS THAT WEIRD MAN? Why are we getting into his car?’

But today i’m feeling really grateful for life and the way our little family works. First and foremost, my parents…they’re so amazing at helping me through the ‘single mum’ malarky. I’m  a ‘work really hard’ Mum…to hopefully build some wonderful empire…and well i couldn’t even try to do it without them. It’d just be shit, a lot harder and almost impossible and i’m someone who believes nothing is impossible. I’m a champ and i’m filled with determination. A guy once said that I…

‘..could walk into a room and own it and simply with a cheeky look in my eye.’ 

Anyway, the help they provide, aids me to take the elevator instead of the stairs through life and I like that. Lol. I don’t like things to be difficult, be it in work, love or pleasure. I like positive helpers outers…Men who can take control if i need them to, but who own a soft soul. I look for that quality in men always and hardly ever find it, as i associate such behavior with unconditional love.

THEN there’s the Dad’s. I literally have THE BEST ‘Baby Daddies’ in the world ever. As separate humans we’ve all been through a lot. And then with each other, we’ve (haha) CERTAINLY been through a lot. Lol. Jesus!

Yet we have so much love, time and respect for one another, glittered over with really solid friendships and really warm, not fake, co..parenting skills.The boys are cool with each other, i’m great with them both and they have additional girlfriends who have joined the team, who are nothing short of fabulous. And we co parent AS A TEAM, not as individuals. So both Dads will happily have both children and if they have a school event, EVERYONE will attend to cheer them the Wunna Babies…girlfriends n’all.

I  mean, God, last week, we were all so busy with work. I had day job and events to tend to for the blog,with a bundle of entertainmenty stuff. Keiran was having to work hard and maybe away,. Pete was ‘working working’ rushed off his feet, so Jade (Keiran’s girlfriend) had to do the early morning nursery drop off and Alice, (Pete’s Doll) had Ruby sleep over at her place, just so she could do the school run for me, in the morning…HOW SWEET IS THAT! And it all works swimmingly, with zero drama. Alice works at the nursery that Junior goes to,  so it was actually quite funny, as once she had dropped Ruby off at school, she dashed to work and met Jade, who dropped Junior off at nursery 🙂

Maybe Keiran, Pete and I have just manipulated the masses and managed to get other people parent for us. Lol. YAY!

But to anyone going through rough co..parenting times. It’s not worth the battle. I went through the hard times…so believe me, it’s not worth the ‘waste of time.’ Only fight if your child is in danger by being with the other parent.

I mean, so what if you’ve broken up, or he has a new girlfriend and life has turned things upside down. It’s a test of your strength and compassion and the ability to understand. It’s how it is and you have to move quickly into a better box, where in which you can get into a decent frame of soul, so you’re not a tool…as in this situation being a tool is not attractive. You’ll  regret it.

Our parenting triangle works because we’re not ‘in love’ with one another anymore. We’re friends who share babies, but we care enough to make it MORE than work. We smash it! And we don’t just do it because it’s the right thing, we do it because we’re all close. I mean GOD I was married to Keiran and Jeeze, i’ve known Pete since he was 11 and he’s now 31! They’re not idiot guys and i’m not an idiot girl. They’re people that i care for as family…I spent chapters of my life loving them and the kids adore how it all works. They even get excited over the fact that i might pick a guy to ‘join the team’ so to speak. Lol. We’re recruiting! Haha.

‘Who’s it gonna be Mum?’

Both boys will simply say that it works because i’m a positive soul…a decent chick, I just have ‘this way of making everything wonderful’ and our friends will say, infact i heard a guy in a bar once say…

‘that situation couldn’t have worked out any better, than it has. It’s crazy how great it is.

That makes me smile and it’s just getting better and better!