When I flirted with Candy Mechanics….

So Friday I went down to Trinity Leeds, after being invited to take a tinker at the new Candy Mechanics ‘Edible Selfie’ station. I’m the Queen of ‘The Seat my friends call the ‘lobster arm.’

Double B: ‘She can’t take a selfie of herself without putting one arm up into her hair.’

Firmonnell: ‘The lobster arm.’

Me: ‘I don’t look like a lobster. Lol. I can’t help it. The phone whops out, the arm goes up. It’s life. You’ll all be doing it.’

Double B: ‘Does the carpet match the curtains?’

Me: ‘What’s that got to do with anything? Haha. And Yeah! I’m not a secret ginger…’

Double B: ‘I just didn’t know if when you took a selfie, but  of your vagina, if it had a weave on also…?’

Firmonnell: ‘….and an amazing lobster arm that protrudes out from underneath , to take it’s official position for the photo?’

Hahaha. Why do I have shit friends!!!

To be honest…they’re amazing. Your BEST friends. Your favourites.. are always the ones where in which you can commit to nonsense banter and take a bit of roasting. I mean, Firmonnell and I listened to ‘Hustle Barbie’ randomly sing a chant, about boobs at us, on Thursday afternoon.

It was really creative…it went like this..

‘Titties! Titties! Titties! Titties.’ 🙂

( It was so funny at the time, that we cried. I obviously can’t tell you why it was so funny because we’d get into trouble. But we were talking about sex and ham. 😉 )

But anyway…on Friday I tinkered into Leeds city centre. My favourite of favourites. And yes, I went try out the ‘Edible Selfie’ Station by Candy Mechanics, that has currently opened in Trinity Leeds.

The whole magical concept of Candy Mechanics , swirls the delicious art of old school confectionery into the modern time, where all things ‘social’ take the lead.

(I love ALL BRANDS that take something ‘old school’ and meander it to the sound of a ‘modern day twist.’ Kinda like this blog. The art of the written words and ‘diary keeping’ has been going on for centuries…This is the exact same thing, but with a modern day twist…and it’s now one of the most read blogs in Britain, in its niche and I like to think, i’ve made ‘diary keeping’ cool. Lol)

So I arrived at Trinity Leeds, in my white faux fur and my eyes filled with glee, ready to tinker my kitten self into a world of magical sweet treat. I find myself stood infront of what is practically the most glamourously modern, ‘Edible Selfie’ station in all the land. It’s surrounded by bustle, life, creative energy and grand, well lit window boxes, honouring your face in chocolate lollipop form.  They rotate around like glorious trophies…Almost like a chocolate Oscar.

Caz the PR girl was there. Sassy, fun and informative…and she introduces me to everyone, who have worked all night to make this launch as amazing as it can be. (I appreciate hard work. Things are never as easy as they seem.) There’s another blogger in before me…So whilst she’s doing her do…I’m filling my Snapchat and Facebook newsfeed with the wonder of my personal experience.

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Now, as you know. I like the story of the moment, the behind the scenes, the ‘how you got to your glory,’ tale. I’m inspired by those stories, so I never just want to know about the product…I want to know how someone got there. The hardship.

What I can tell you is that the owner of the company, the creator (who you can see on my pics) came up with the idea, as part of his dissertation at Uni. He handed in a piece of work, yet because he was (and still is) dyslexic, instead of typing the word ‘LIKEABLE,’ he made a spelling mistake and accidentally typed the word ‘LICKABLE.’ It was a big joke in Uni, but his Tutor told him to go with it…

He did…

Two years later, he is now the PROUD OWNER of Candy Mechanics, which is taking over the nation by storm, as one of the most innovative sweet treat concepts of our time. He’s created a bespoke online service and new POP UP Stations across the UK..Not only are they even on tour right now, but he is currently being hailed as one of the finest confectioners in the nation and the Britain’s social ‘Willy Wonka.’

He was there to meet me…and unlike most CEO’s he was working at the station, just like the rest of them. He sat me down infront of a GIANT selfie screen, that resembled an iphone screen, to my right was the rotating gloriously lit ‘Chocolate Trophy’ stand and with a..

‘Stay still. I’m just gonna scan your image.’

He raised a very modern looking appliance around my face, slooooooooooooooowly. It was almost like a work of art. Then just like that, a giant 3D computerised, moving image of my head, my actual selfie, materialised in the GIANT SCREEN. Now, this wasn’t just any old picture of my face. My had had now been turned into 3D chocolate and I could use the TOUCHSCREEN to move it around, choose what flavour I wanted to me and make sure I was happy with the product. The experience of it all was DIVINE. It was modern, glamourous and….well I just felt so trendy and important when I was going through the process of it all. Lol

Then, to the left, a white chocolate lollipop, which was in a half globe shape was placed into a glass box, that had the most hardcore technical machinery fitted into it. These machines, the candy robots, are so precise that they are usually used to cut through wood and brick….all sorts. They are that DRAMATIC. He has used the machinery to carve his delicate selfies into chocolate lollipops. The temperature of the machine is monitored, as obviously unlike wood, chocolate melts in seconds under such heat…and THE SPEED of the drill is monitored.

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‘You need to speed it up for the next one…’

…I heard him state to the chocolate mechanics.  (I love that.)

Now, I stood and watched a globe of luxury white Belgian chocolate (yes, it’s luxury chocolate, not rubbish ‘run of the mill’ type silliness and because the owner used to work for Green & Blacks & Marks & Spencers, in product and taste development) slowly, yet efficiently be gracefully carved into my face. I cannot even describe to  you HOW THERAPEUTIC, it was watching that drill, almost scientifically dance and flirt with the art of confectionery carving. It was mesmerizing. I was enthralled by it all. It was better than sex.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. The art had lulled me in. People stopped by to watch the process and adored it so much, they sat down and began their chocolate selfie moment. It’s crazy how you slowly start seeing your face appear in the chocolate…as it’s brought to life. It’s magic. It’s beautiful.

Straight after the carving…my Selfie Lollipop was then passed to the ‘Gold Duster,’ where just that occurred. My 3D lollipop of my face, was taken by hand and again, like it was the most precious piece of confectionery in all the land, it was dusted over in edible gold dust.

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Once it was dusted, they handed it to me to take a look at and to selfie with and I was astonished at how fantastic the entire process was, to produce such a cute little luxury lolly of my own face. My own head! A lot of work goes into it and it’s addictive. I already need to go again and will be taking both Ruby and Junior next Saturday to go have THEIR faces turned into chocolate lollipops…

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I selfied with mine and Snapchatted the whole thing. It was such a remarkable experience and it’s bizarre because it takes you back to feeling like you’re a kid again…But Willy Wonka has designed a lollipop, of YOU. YES YOU! I beamed with delight. There was distinct glow to my kitty smile.

It’s the most modern treat. The most delicate gift and the most magical experience that I have ever taken part in. Words don’t even do it justice, as you’re very much a PART of this creative process. Like I said, I’ll be going back there this Saturday with my babies, simply so they can experience it to. This is one of the most trendiest gifts or i’d say ‘Thank yous’ that you can give someone this Christmas.

I walked away from the Candy Mechanics air clicking my heels with glee. I kept showing everyone my lolly and treasuring it like the world had created a Masterpiece. Lol.

Then because I was in such a good mood…I thought fuck it…

I missed my next train, flung my kitten bag over my shoulder and merrily strutted through the busy, city streets of Leeds. It was around 2pm. I popped my head up. I smiled and then I pushed through the gloriously glass doors  revolving doors to (as you know) one of my favourite daytime *haunts* in Leeds…Gino D’Acampo’s.

 

Don’t look like a sausage roll…

I’ve just been living. So my apologies for the ‘no blog.’ I kept meaning to write one, then I’d opt for a beautiful fruit gin instead, as I hovered the dairy in’pending’ before another gin tinkered in.

I’ve worked through the weekend, so I pretty much only had Sunday to *kapow* it. As usually I’d KAPOW Saturday and take a massive luxury chill on Sunday. It’s like i had to *binge* fun into a day with friends, cocktails, family and love. I don’t like *binge* fun, cos now…it’s Monday and I feel fucking shattered. I’ve also decided that anything that begins with the words ‘ALL IN….’ is shit. 🙂

Lots is happening. My world is spinning, it’s a really exciting time and I feel like i’m about to wink my way to everything i’ve  always dreamed of. I had a few last minute glitches at the end of last week work wise. Some people kind. Some people… RUDE as hell. (Don’t be rude, i’ll think you’re a dick. I don’t know where people get off being ‘no reason’ rude…especially when they look like an ice goat from the Narnia cupboard. You can’t be a goat, have poor shoe game and then try and spit out bastardy behavior. It will not work for you…even if you’re wearing my Little Mistress faux fur.

Saturday was ‘work Saturday.’ And it was rubbish. I hated Saturday because I could’ve thought of 900 other things that I would rather be doing, than what I was having to be doing. I kept looking at the window sighing for more eventful times. I wanted to karate kick out my cage. Lol.

If my chick friend ‘Double B’ didn’t state that some looked like a… (wait for it..)

‘…a sausage roll with a wig on..’

Hhahahah! Life would’ve be shit. And because it was THE ONLY funny thing to have happened, I clung onto the thought for hours and it tickled me all day.

‘What are you laughing at?’

‘I’ still not over the sausage roll thing..’

‘It’s because she does actually look like one…lol.’

I LOVE ‘Double B’s insults because they’ll always be the most comedically odd, bitchy bits of ‘hoo haa.’ Like if ‘Mean Girls’ was Yorkshire and dipped in a silly whore sassiness…you would have what my ears hear on daily, from this chicks mouth. And then she’ll always top off the worse bits of insult off with her, ‘PAY THE FEE’ cheerleader dance.

‘Pay the feeee. Pay the feeeeeeeeee. Peace out. A Town.’

Firmonnell’s still happily married to ‘Big D’ and he’s totally stepped up his game. First he introduced a sex step, THEN he got a promotion…AND NOW he obtains these bags of jelly babies for free.

Big D and I used to go ice skating when we were kids at The Dome…as that all you could do in Doncaster… or ‘Dancing School.’ I mean who on EARTH gets to be married to Willy Wonka. AND SHE CAN’T EVEN ICE SKATE. I did the polite thing and told her that I might love or feel up her husband now that he has jellies.

She told me to ‘BACK THE FUCK OFF‘ Hahaha!

‘What? the dude’s got sweets and shit?’ 🙂

I’m loving this new ‘nothing to lose‘ outlook on life that i’m totally A* ..ing. I’ve got the reins to my world now and i’m flying baby, FLYING! Yes, i’m being a bit sassy, a bit annoying, a bit of a ‘doo daa’ at times…but i’m loving it and it’s ace and this is my patch of cyberland…so there! Prosecco for everyone!

(Hustle Barbie says it’s MY fault that she didn’t tidy her house because she went to do a blog catch up and ended up on this blog for hours. I assured her that there would be hot toyboys who would offer to clean her home for her…and that she could then leave her beau to date Gino D’Acampo. Great solution! I should have a therapy show!)

I’m in a swirl. God! This guy, ‘the swirl’ has got me going CRAZY!

Me: ‘I can’t hake you out my head. You’re in there. Always. I like it.’

‘Yeah me too..it feel ssoooooooo good.’

It’s thrown me a bit as you know how much I distrust my own judgements on anything ‘love or lust‘ related. This weekend, i just thought ‘fuck it’ (as I just can’t quit swirling about him) and with the whole ‘nothing to lose‘ mantra strapped onto my dildo…:) I WENT FOR IT.

He might have sent me a *spacky bum bum* emoji at one point. Lol.

I like this guy (but i’ve been treading cautiously..of previous)…We already get on well, so we don’t really need to try at that, as it’s just the way our personalities jigsaw. That part is a biggie, so we’re lucky like that.

So after picture taking, messages and him having a mild moan that they wasn’t much video content…Lol

‘Work your magic. 🙂 xx

‘You work your fucking magic. I’ve deleted every single SELFIE IN THE WORLD!!!!!’

We pissed ourselves, he went off on his night out and I got dressed, went to the bar and asked a guy to delete all my read emails so that I could video. Hahahaha! And he did! Very grateful!

Video galore was made on Sunday. It started sweet and just turned x rated. I couldn’t help it. The guy gets me going like that. Then like a magical flowing trail of saucy digital content…I proved that I had ‘nothing to lose.’ 🙂

It felt liberating. It felt sexy.

It was received with the upmost appreciation and messages to assure me that it was divine. Lol

I should get trophies for it! Yet, the art of sexy and seduction is knackering. I needed a warm bath and a ‘straight to bed’ afterward. Knowing my luck, I probably got him all juiced up and filled with spunk, so he could go bone some ‘first girl there’ chick because his willy couldn’t help it. Hahaha! I DID ALL THE FUCKING LEG WORK!!!! 🙂 Whatever, I’m Miss Wunna…ain’t no girl gonna beat my sauce. 🙂

Joking aside. I’m happy and like i said, you have to cling onto those moments of happy, don’t you? They keep things exciting and we (I hope) have exciting times ahead. The swirl is good because it weirdly has a magic to it, a magic that i’m labelling ‘substance.’ Like it could go really well..if we wanted it to.

If I could give you any advice from what I’ve learnt from my weekend, it would be to GO FOR IT. Express yourself. Be loving. Be open. be honest. Don’t give two shits about fear and get what you want…or at least have a go at trying…

‘Once upon a time..Mummy sent Daddy Nudes….and they lived happily ever after! 🙂 ‘

Oh and try not to look like a sausage roll..

Shit, i’ve got to dash…

Working ALL DAY.