Friendship, Fights & The Backroom Leeds

Just the most amazing time in the city last night. I cherished, good times. No! Great times…with the people who I will always regard as my absolute closest . (Until I’m a superstar and never speak to them again. 😉 We’re like family and I’ve honestly had a great 2017 because of them.

I love the little swines and i’m really really lucky. I mean, not many people, in my position or way of life have a close bundle of friends, that the can trust and rely on. I do! We’re all really different from one another, yet each add a certain spice to the pot. If you have a problemo, a secret, a love….you’ll know which friend in the group to turn to…and in their own magical way, over cocktails, a cuddle, a whatsapp message, a warm dinner, a new set of heels, or a tissue….they’ll be right by your side, picking up the pieces.

I’m currently in Ego, Ackworth, sat infront of a huge mirror, with a half of Fosters, writing this blog….

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I adore a good mirror seat. One where it looks like I have my back to you, but I can see EVERYTHING.  My vanity gets the better of me. Yes. I’ll admit that. However, I also love the stories that mirrors tell. I’ve watched women with party hats and light up Christmas jumpers wander behind me. Business men. Families. Lone Rangers with quiet pints. Grown adults in weird Elf hats. Girls all a gossiping. And awkward humans on first dates. I love a mirror in the midst of a ‘busy bustle.’ It’s always so magical. Always so glamourous.

But anyway, last night I was out in the city…

As the story goes, the day turned to night. I had had a somewhat stressful day of ‘rushy.’ I HATE RUSHING. I’m a glamour puss. I do things in my own manner, with my own panache and at my own pacing. Not yesterday though. Fuck. I dashed to three cities, running errands, doing meetings, making sure Ruby & Junior were enjoying every inch of their Christmas holidays. I had a deadline. I needed to be ready. Then after the fastest totter, a warm bath, placing my phone on charge and a slip into my silver sequinned dress from the Kourtney Kardashian line for Pretty Little Thing….I dashed out the door, twinkled through the night sky, jumped in a taxi..

Driver: ‘I’m sure I’ve driven you around before. I remember your voice.’

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And Whatsapped ‘Double B’ with a…

‘I’m 3 mins away from yours…’

We drank wine out the bottle, all the way to ‘Firmonnells,’

Double B: ‘How many people do you reckon you’ve slept with?’

Me: ‘Why are they like cardboard cut outs?’

Double B: ‘They’re just Vanilla..’

(I once referred to one of my exes as ‘vanilla.’ He was in a boyband and I’d just come off a tv show for ITV2.  To this day he says I apparently broke his heart? However, surely if you say ‘I don’t want us to be together anymore Chrissie because I’m gay’ that would mean that no hearts were broken in the process. Well, maybe my heart? 😉

He said he loved me madly, yet never messaged me when we broke up because he didn’t know what to say. I just took that as ‘oh he doesn’t care’ and I was fine with that. You can’t MAKE someone love you. You can MAKE someone care about you. Yet ‘true love’ is a whole different potion. If they feel you in their spirit….they will always find their way back to you.

Yiddley Doooooooo!

Anyway, Double B and I apologized to the driver for making him listen to our sexy girl banter AAALLLLLL the way to ‘Firmonnells.’ Yet he assured us he LOVED IT.

Driver: ‘It’s made my night girls.’

We were joined by ‘Fairytale Blond’ and a bit of ‘Mama Sally.’ We did wee’s, drank prosecco, borrowed jackets, exchanged gold clutches and found ourselves on our way to Leeds city centre…our city….yet via THE SINGLE MOST AMAZING train station ever. I’ve never travelled from Garforth before. THEY SERVED BOTTLE PROSECCO, IN BOUJI PLASTIC CHAMPAGNE FLUTES, THROUGH A WINDOW ON THE ACTUAL PLATFORM!!! I know!!! It’s absolute BLISS! All you have to do is buy a bag of crisps with it (because you are only allowed booze with food) and you’re plain sailing and en route to Leeds, with a happy prosecco jiggle.

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With our drinks, in our dresses, with our heels in place and whilst the girls decided to MAKE FUN of my WONDERFUL peacock phone cover.

Double B: ‘What the fuck is that!!’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s fucking horrible.’

Me: ‘SHUT UP! The loveliest phone man gave it to me FOR FREE today, for a selfie, you dicks! I love it!!’

(It’s a golden peacock with diamante studs and multi coloured gems scattered throughout its tail. Lol I actually really do LOVE IT. They despise it and think it looks tacky, because they’re ‘haters’ and can’t handle my glamourisms. They even made a guy on the train tell me that he hated it too! Haha! What dicks)

Anyway within a second we pulled into Leeds, they’re all running like wild women to meet the rest of the group, and i’m trying to catch up, as i’m spilling my prosecco all over me and some guy in a hat with chatting to me about…can’t even remember really? If Santa was a chimney sweeper, it would be him. He was lovely!

Long story short. All met up at a train station bar…who wouldn’t let everyone in because they had reached capacity. It was THAT BUSY. The rest of the girls joined the group and the boys joined us also. Then through the busy city streets, we all walked up ‘hand in hand’ to Backroom Leeds, as ‘Firmonnell’ and I tried to decide if we were actually lesbians?

Me: ‘But I really DO fancy Ellen Degeneres.’

Firmonnell: ‘But what about when you need a penis in you after they’ve…’

The Backroom was great! It’s a small decadent, ‘speakeasy’ bar on Call Lane. Plays the best music. Has a private outdoor terrace. And we had the whole downstairs floor/bar, to ourselves, as our own. It was just for us, our whole group and that was that.

The night was AMAZING.

Slowly but surely, everyone we knew trickled in, piece by piece, a wink at time, the boys in shirts, the girls in short dresses and heels. We love to glam it up…so each ‘trickle’ was dressed to the nines, straight to the bar and with ‘good time’ glint in their eyes. It’s always great when it’s just us, because anything goes, no one will judge and we can all pretty much surrender to the art of celebrating life, the year and friendship….. in the most pissed fashion, forget to eat the yummiest finger food and with all the free drinks that our tokens will allow us.

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We danced, we flirted, we booty popped, we ‘dutty wined,’ we let loose, we turned wild, we snapchatted, we kissy cheeked, we all thought we were sexier than we probably were and we DRANK….we fucking DRANK! Hustle Barbie fell on the floor AGAIN…took ‘Fairytale’ and ‘Double B’ with her. Lol

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Hustle Barbie: ‘It’s my new thing.’

Cuddles and kisses and sequins and hip hop tracks.

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Mood lighting, shots, hair tosses and fresh air terraces.

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Gossips, lies, drama and whispers….

At one point i think my whole entire top fell down for a second, due my excessive booty dance routine. I have no booty, so I have to really work at the back shimmie. Caused boobies to fall out because my dress was too big…Nobody cared. They loved it.

Me: ‘What! It’s because i’m a VEGGIE NOW. I’ve lost weight, but it’s come off my FLIPPING BOOBS!’

Webbo & Jonsez & Dipper & New Boys! They were all really lucky, because we chicas has already hit ‘good time’ and wine bottles, so like props we used the boys for flirts and dance floor swizzles. Hot new faces kept appearing out of nowhere. I backed up and a hot face was behind me. I walked forward and another new hot face greeted me. I even got a cheeky bum grab. (I love a bum grab at 30 something. It’s naughty. It’s fun. It’s a good way to get me to notice you….and he was REALLY HOT. Super handsome.)

Lots of ‘Hollyoaks’ style drama occurred last night. It went from whisper to whisper, to confrontations, to verbal fights. It went from learnt lessons, to hearts breaking, to no judgements and personality clashes. It went from stories told, to secrets revealed and tests of friendships and truth telling.

‘You can sleep with who you want to sleep with. I don’t give a shit! Own it.’

‘Why is she blanking me. I haven’t done anything wrong.’

‘This is ridiculous!’

‘Yeah…I already knew that. We all did!’

‘I just love her and I don’t stand a fucking chance.’

‘Just stay away from me. Don’t come near me. What do you think you’re…’

‘Who told you that??’

‘You need to man up…’

‘You else do you fancy?’

‘He’s done now…’

‘I’m leaving. This is fucked up.’

‘If she comes up to me again, whilst i’m trying to talk to you…I’m gonna..’

‘Don’t judge people on shit…Whocares..’

‘I can’t deal with this. Do you want a shot?’

‘She won’t even speak to me now.’

‘I don’t care what you’ve done…’

‘You’re beautiful. Am I stalking you?’

‘This is the last time i’ve ever going to get to dance with you…’

‘You’re new. You’re hot. Are you on Insta?’

‘Who does she think she is!!!’

‘How is this ALL MY FUCKING FAULT.’

[Echo….Echo…Echo….Echo….]

*STOP*

And even though all of the snippets above occurred, this is what I noticed…I noticed that  every single one of us were close. That every single one of us chose to prioritise ‘good times’ over drama. We danced, we laughed, we gave zero fucks. I noticed that in the end, enjoying our friendships with each other, is what we chose to make matter…and THAT is what makes us a family. (Moderately dysfunctional…but s….we’re fly. 😉 )

The clock struck 3am. Time flew by us. We didn’t even realise how fast it has flown!

‘AS IF IT’S 3AM!!! WTF!’

‘Don’t leave…come back..’

‘Come to Fibre with me…’

‘Get in my Uber.’

‘Don’t leave me..’

I had stayed in the private section at Backroom ALL NIGHT, so I didn’t actually realise how busy the place has got upstairs. I walked up to the open air terrace holding Double B’s hand…and it was RAMMED. It was MENTAL.

A guy stopped me with a,

‘Are you Chrissie Wooonaaa?’

‘Yeah…yeah…why?’

‘Do you remember me…?’

‘Jake?’

(I didn’t know if it was Jake… 🙂 )

Yet the crowd took us into different directions and as I sat on the terrace, chatting to ‘Double B,’ under the night stars…(I’m doing a lot of the night stars of recent, aren’t I..)

I watched Jonesez look at me, with all the heartbreak of the world in his eyes…as he stood up off, from the side of the terrace and walked away slowly, with his head all a muddle….

It snowed today…which means there’s magic in the air….

All I know about life is that there are MORE UPS, than there are downs. More GOOD TIMES, than there are bad. And that ANYTHING can happen in a moments wink of an eye….Dreams come true. Life is only has hard as you make it.

It’s the ones of us who can ‘surf that crest.’ The ones of us who stand by what we love and believe is right, for OUR OWN VERSION of existence that get the most out of the world and what’s on offer.

I’ll remember these people for the rest of my life….

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In FIVE DAYS….FOR ME…..

EVERYTHING CHANGES…..

Chrissie x

 

Love, Lattes & Chicks Who Tongue Dogs…

Woke up this morning with the blistering sunlight shining through my window, with all a calm breeze and peace as my bestie…I stretched…I kitty yawned and just like that BOOM! Bustle, door knocks, headsets, clipboards, fidgets, schedules and that darling bit of happy ‘rush rush.’ (Which i hate. I hate RUSHING. When you rush, you mess things up. I’m a glamour puss. I like to do things in an orderly glamourous fashion.)  It only lasted a good jolly moment…then once again everything went back to calm, back to normal and I could continue sipping my green tea latte. (Which is my favourite latte in all the land. I used to get one every morning in LA, on 3rd and La Cienega, unless I was on a diet, then i’d flirt with an Americano with skimmed instead.)

Sorry….i’ve just got distracted after watching a snapchat of a guy (i know his sister closely) line out 20 chicken nuggets on his mates drive for hangover kicks and type out a mini news report afterward. Lol I’m enthralled. I love it! Hahah. But anyway…

You all zoned in on the fact that I stated that my love life wasn’t rubbish yesterday, didn’t ya! I scrolled through messages galore from people all over the world either cheering me on, or tinkering for me details? When it comes to love, I’ve never got it right, have I? Yet, that’s because i’ve Mambo’ed into everything head first, twirling madly, in red dresses and sequins, with ‘cha cha’ arms (don’t actually know what arms they are) and with everything crossed. And don’t get me wrong, it’s always great to feel ‘crazy’ about someone (that’s what passion is and if you don’t have it, your soul needs a tequila to wake you up and smell the limes,) yet the ‘crazy’ is what you feel initially….We all love the ‘swirl,’ the initial attraction…the ‘ooh laa’ as I like to call it….Yet, the real love comes after….when time has passed, you’ve learnt about one another and you’ve only just realised how much time you’ve invested in a person because it’s breezed by so merrily…

Real love comes (that love that people say has been written about for centuries) when a true friendship has been formed, one of loyalty and trust, that has been built upon slowly, where you share laughter, secrets, respect and support. When you can look at that person and know that no matter what they’ll always be there…because they always have. To me…that’s what real love is. A best friend…that you do ‘non friend zone‘ like things with. 😉

Having gotten love wrong for so many glamourous decades…YIPPPEEEE (again doesn’t make me a hideous person, it’s simply just my story, it’s actually empowered me more than I ever thought it would,) I THINK, that no one in this entire world understands love more than I do, right now. I do get nervous. I do get frightened. I do things wonderfully. I do things badly. It’s normal. I’m certainly not all sass, i’m quite an affectionate soul…and yeah like anyone, I don’t fancy feeling love in order to maybe get hurt, right? Especially not at thirty something. That doesn’t make us weak, it kinda just makes us human. It’s not the right way to move forward. So I’m always open hearted regardless…as my confidence out weighs my moments of terror…and just incase i have to encounter a sassy bit of heartbreak again in the future …I KNOW THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. 🙂 Plus, I have loads of great alcoholic chick friends who will buy me cocktails to make me feel better..and then make fun of me for being a tool.

I’m an life soldier…but a happy one. And I am 100 percent confident that one day (even though i’ve had decades of being unlucky in love) i’ll make someone really happy forever. Forever being the key word…as I have made people briefly happy… Lol. I actually said this to my chick friend Lana (she’s strange and tongues dogs)..

Me: ‘What! I’ve got it in me….’

Lana: ‘What, like silicone?’

Me: ‘Yes. Actually. Please stop tonguing that dog near my Gucci Bamboo Top Handle.’

Lana: ‘It’s weird because you’re a sweetheart but everyone who doesn’t know you thinks you’re a dickhead. Hahaha. I know you’ve got it in you…’

Me: ‘Well, I wouldn’t say it, if I didn’t know it was true. It’s not like i’m sat here saying, hey yeah…i’d make a really great roller booting astronaut…cos i’d know i’d be shit at that.’

Lana: ‘There’s no such thing as that, idiot. What if Mr. Whoever has a shit willy..’

Me: ‘He doesn’t have a shit willy. Stop tonguing that fucking dog!! Honestly. It’s sick. No wonder you’re divorced.’

Lana: ‘You can’t talk…You better get used to having to tongue pets now that you’ve got Rocco…’

Me: ‘Eww! Rocco’s bouji. He’s not average like your pet. Lol. He’s an ‘IT’ kitten. He’s swag. He’s part of Wunna land. I have a whole online patch of land. You’re living it right now & you don’t even know. It’s like a glittery Matrix.’

Lana: ‘You’re such a big headed twat.’

Right, I need to head off quickly…and enjoy the rest of my chills. I have the Yorkshire chills to get back to and enjoy…I’m slightly confused at how grown my children have become. It’s weird. How the hell have I managed to raise them?

I’m also missing all my girls! Firmonnell, Fairytale, Hustle Barbie, Double B, Mel and Lady Shiz. I did actually wake up, thousands of miles away from them, look down at my phone and read a stream of whatsapp messages that kinda really upset me. Lots has happened and it was kinda weird because it’s not really something that I would be upset by…Yet reading the stream and realizing how much of a team we were, no matter where we were in the world or what we were doing….or whatever shit life through at us…kinda made me smile! I love being part of a team. We have each other’s back no matter what. I always wonder what we’ll all be doing in the next five years…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Ticket To Dullsville

So I spent my first half of Tuesday with one of my chick besties ‘Firmonnell.’ I kinda tottered down the street, in my giant Cruella Deville faur fur, (it wasn’t Dalmatian…it was ‘Little Mistress,’) as she began to pretend that I lived in a caravan and I convinced her that she was pregnant. Lol. It’s how we roll. This was after talks of Prosecco and periods. I get carried away with baby talk, it fills me with excitement. I sizzle over with an utter flourish of ‘ooh laa.’ To me, nothing is more fulfilling than creating humans..Y’know, little ‘Mini Me’s.’ However,  Firmonnell…well… she pretends she hates it. She doesn’t hate it. She just…well… she just hates it. 🙂

We laughed all the way to Wakefield and guided each other to appropriate parking spots…where parking meters didn’t work.

Firmonnell: ‘As if you’ve made me park this far away.’

Me: ‘It’s just around here somewhere?’

Firmonnell: ‘You don’t know where we are, do you?’

Me: ‘It’s by the Bull Ring, or something? What if we take this shortcut? Lol.’

Lots of things happened on Tuesday. It felt fun! It started off with a whatsapp message that made me smile. When you get a good message to start your day, it kinda sets the tone, doesn’t it. It makes the rest of your day that little bit rosier.

There were moments where mini prosecco bottles were guzzled in carparks, in the style of ‘bouji pirates.’Times when ‘Double B’ referred to males as a ‘pink whisky faces.’ Sweeps of time, where in which we watched young girls perform dance routines, by bundles of straw, to Beyonce remixes. (We could’ve shown them how it SHOULD be done.) There was laughter. Good times. Infact, I might have had a weird conversation with a girl, about how they talk to plants to make them grow. Then finally…after my brain had fried itself with hard work..

‘I swear I was built for pleasure and not such mental labour…’

…I got home to the babies and indulged in an early night and WHAT IS BETTER, than an ‘early night’ when you really really need one!

IT WAS BLISS.

TODAY…was boring as hell. Lol. Fucking boring.

It was one of those days, where there’s zero excitement, not juice and no ‘ooh laa’ in sight. One of those days where you scroll through your emails, check your messages, look around you…and everything is simply so beige, it’s dull. Lol. There was no magic in the air. Everything was still. I couldn’t even call the day ‘vanilla,’ as even that would give it a flavour. Now, I’m a positive soul by nature and if i can’t roll a turd in glitter, then NO ONE CAN.

What was today!!!

If i hate anything…I hate dull. I hate ‘still.’ I’m a fast mover. I’m not a patient person. I yearn for excitement, I look for it and enjoy it. I adore buzzy bits of happiness. I live for them, they feed my kitten soul. I don’t know whether it’s because i’m a fire sign or an idiot? Yet either way, I LOVE to feel excited. I love to feel surprised. I love a bit of sassy banter. In work, I smile at a sense of achievement. In love, I love to feel adored. I I love everything that makes me radiate. That’s when any human is at their most powerful.

Today was boring. Haha!

The only exciting parts where the moments where in which I witnessed two of my friends, kinda weirdly ‘fall’ for each other with the most cutest innocence. They’ve decided to go on a date. It made me smile. It’s cute!

I did also watch a video where in which someone batted a tennis ball with a willy. Not by choice. Maybe by choice? Who knows?  It was hilarious, nonetheless. Who knew anyone could do that?

There was also a moment where in which my chicks friends decided to compare the worst looking guys they’ve ever been with. Lol. That certainly passed some time. It soon went back to boring.

Then ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I decided that we were emotionally needy (lol) and had brief chats on how guys were so different to girls. We’re both really different girls, yet both really similar when it comes to love and expression.

The day turned to night…It’s finally turned to night (Boooooooooyaaaaaaah) and all I can say, as i chill on my pretty flamingo sheets is..

‘Cya Wednesday…You were dull.’

Let’s hope tomorrow is glistened over with magic.

Send me excitement…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I did Issho & East 59th Bar

Firmonnell: ‘ I wish you would stop spraying that fucking awful spray. It makes you smell like an old lady…a nan….I hate it. I hate it when you spray it. Fucking stop.’

Me: ‘Just because you’ve said that, i’m going to spray it continually to wind you up.’

Firmonnell: (Who remembered to change her knickers this time) ‘Well I hope it RUNS THE FUCK OUT.’

That was yesterday! Well aside from the inbetween bits where ‘Double B’ did nothing but swear repeatedly due to stress. She did it in a Vogue ‘top knot.’ The ‘top knot’ always makes her feel angst. I wore flats….my wonky feet felt like bliss after a Sunday of utter enjoyment in the sun on every roof top terrace bar, in Leeds that would have me.

Leeds is CRAZY right now for new great spots. It’s flourishing with class, style, life and business….and as a blogger….it smells like fun, it’s smells like content and certainly smells like money.

Anyway, I’ve been dying to try out the new Issho restuarant in Leeds. I adore everything chilled, stylish, beautiful and Japanese, so to this me sounded like bliss. I never had time because time kept being scheduled up! But I have time now! So why not right?

Inadequate Chris (who won the ‘Best Newcomer on Snapchat ‘award…remember that we have a video collabo shortly. Take yourself back to when we did coffee at La Bottega Milanese..) well he surrendered to a bottomless brunch at Issho…and as we discussed work, life and lessons…we were greeted by gentle kind smiles, the most impeccable service and the most beautifully creative food and drinks…in the sun.

Even the walk through Victoria Gate to the restuarant was delightful. I had to sit outside some bakery and change my flats to heels, as they rubbed. I also smelt a bit like German sausage, as they had some steamy market on outside Harvey Nics…where German sausages where being cooked on the street, next to a woman begging me to promote her new Opticians outside Michael Kors. ( I didn’t. I’m a Specsavers Girl. I also felt rough. AND, well…isn’t there a fee? *Wiggle..wink.* 

Anyway, like I said, the walk up to the restuarant was a calming joy, as I slowly tottered up the most architecturally grand and elegant stairway then took a lift to the kori bar on the 3rd floor.

The service in that place is untouchable. It’s great.

Me: ‘I’d like a cocktail that’s pretty please.’

Waitress: ‘I can absolutely recommend one for you…’

Me: ‘No, I want one with flowers in it…’

Chris: ‘We’ll just get the pretty Bellini and the other Japanese cocktail.’

Me: ‘I totally came across as high maintenance then, when i meant to come across as low maintenance. HAHAH. Just any pretty one is fine.’

Then we started chatting about his tragic love life, which he’s told me not to tell you about…so obviously i’m unable to spill the sake. UGH! And it’s so juicy tooo! (Boys. *Rolls Eyes.*) But yes, his love life is quite complex. However, I liked hearing the stories, as i got to sit back in my little red dress and gloat, whilst blurting out inappropriate blunt bits of HONESTY…

Me: ‘WHAT??? IT’S THE FUCKING TRUTH!’

Chris: ‘I like hanging out with you…you literally just tell it to me straight.’

Then we went bonkers and he ordered the bottomless brunch which was the most beautiful looking brunch I had ever seen. I actually didn’t order the brunch and instead ordered the ‘Prosecco Free Flow.’ (For two hours straight and for £15 you are poured unlimited prosecco until you cannot see. It’s a marvel and done with such panache. They don’t even wait until you’ve finished your glass, as soon as it looks like you need a top up, BOOM, there they are with your bubbles.)

I saw staff walk by with precious bowls of the most creative looking fresh Japanese delights ever. It was absolute bliss.

Me: ‘I want a Japanese house and a Japanese Zen Garden and a Japanese Roof Terrace and a Japanese Chef. NOW!’

Chris: ‘I don’t know what’s happened, but i feel really really pissed now. ‘

More talk of work, collaborations and his tragic love life (that i’m not allowed to tell you about) were discussed. It’s hard isn’t it, as over the past few months, he hasn’t really dedicated himself to being some kind of future ‘Social Star’ due to his rocky love tale. I guess this is why picking a great partner for you matters. Everyone’s version of perfect is different. So as long as you pick a girl or guy, who is on the same wave length, when it comes to love, life, friendship, beauty, sex, work and commitment…then you’re dandy. The best partners will bring out the best in you. They’ll love and support you madly and you’ll never have to prompt them to love you the exact way you always wished for. They just know how. (It’s all that wedding talk at Piccolino that must have got to me. Lol. But yes, i’d be quite happy to be settling down now…To me togetherness is bliss. People often never think that of me…but i’m a love bunny. I’m quite traditional when it comes to true love. I just play it sassy. 😉 )

But anyway, I’m not really going to go on about my love life….yet.

*She changes the subject*

On the whole, in all areas right now, I feel quite lucky right now. Infact, right now I AM the luckiest girl in the entire world. I don’t even know what’s happened to me over the last few weeks, (probably My Mother Feng Shui’s my house,) but all this lucky shit keeps flowing into Wunna Land like the Issho Prosecco free pours???? I can’t even believe it? I definitely deserve it. 🙂 Good things happen to good people. I live by that! IT’s TRUE!

Anyway after the most magical time at Issho, I decided that we tinker next door to the brand new East 59th bar next door. It’s the new trendy New York style restaurant and roof terrace bar in Leeds and in the sunshine, it was GREAT! The DJ was playing, the cocktails where are delight and as I sat down in the sun with my raspberry infused drinky poos, I looked around me and the ‘Bustle’ in the place was divine. It almost made you feel as though you were on holiday. There’s even an open air bar, surrounded by stylish humans. The atmosphere was great for a stop off, but I need to go again, as we did only tinker in for a chilled drink.

I’m actually going to do both places again at some point….I want lunch at Issho and the bottomless Bloody Mary’s and food at  East 59th bar. I couldn’t of had a more chilled Sunday. It was wonderful.

Right, i’ve got to go. I’ve got a lot on today. I have some exciting things happen in work and again it’s not for ears to hear yet. But it’s exciting! I’m in Yorkshire all week, aside from Thursday when I have to head to London for a day of filming, but that will bring me straight back to Doncaster by 9pm…so it’ll all be in a days work.

YET, last night, I sent someone love via Whatsapp and I found out some news, only little news that would mean so much tome and maybe not so much to you, but it made me beam with excitement. I was literally jumping around my room. I couldn’t even believe it. But it’s made me believe in fate and also made me appreciate the Speedo Spoof Video that he sent me to the Despacito song.

 

When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’ and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ 😉 Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. 🙂 )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it.  I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. 🙂 I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. 🙂

Speak soon,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shooting Blanks…..

Hi, you darling beasts of life! I’ve had an amazing day, just ‘hokey cokeying’ to my own version of life, with a smile on my face and a giddiness in my heart. I haven’t got anything but soul today and boy does it feel good.

‘Double B’ finally got her first house today and ‘Fairytale Blond’ officially moved in with her Prince Jonny. Everyone’s falling in love right before my very eyes…I mean look at Mel and ‘Her Gary.‘ And ‘Firmonnell’ and Lynne with their ‘love at first sight’ marriages.

And then there’s me….

Well i’ll tell you, that my ‘swirl’ has made me feel GREAT. I’m excited to get my little kitty hands on what i will refer to as MINE 🙂 and keep my little kitty heart open. It’s weird because i’m sensual and bubbled over with sexuality by nature, yet soft by heart…so i’m gentle when it comes to the art of romance. I never understand it when people are incapable to just love or express love? I find it odd? As I’m the complete opposite. So, yeah.. I don’t have that problem…YIPPEEE and well my ‘swirl,‘ who makes me *BEAM* (WHAT A MAN) and  zooms me into light years of giddiness…doesn’t either. We can chat about anything, anytime and always. It’s easy. To me, in my life….that’s vital. He just has this remarkable ability to make me feel so happy and excited without trying.

But that’s not what this blog is about…

This blog is about filling in the blanks…You’re all asking me a bunch of questions that I can’t at all get through because they’re coming into my inbox, like little greedy hobbits on happy pills. I’ve been doing blog promo all morning and so I figured that I’d *jiggly* out the answers to all your questions, in one merry *shoot out.*

Let’s go…I’ll fill in the blanks

My favourite thing to snack on…….is always something savory over something super sweet. I’ll munch through a bag of crisps before i’d ever contemplate a choccie bar. But i’m known to enjoy a wasabi pea nibble and I always chew gum. All of the time. 

When I workout, .………I never workout. I hate working out. I should work out. I just don’t have it in me. I’m naturally active anyway and well it seems to burn the cocktails off. 😉 

The funniest piece of lingerie I own……….I adore themed outfits and I LOVE a bit of ‘dress up’ in the bedroom. It’s fun. It’s sexy. Yet, the funniest piece of lingerie I own, is a ribbon stringed, crotchless thong…THAT HAS A BOBBLY BUNNY TAIL SEWN ON IT. Lol. I haven’t worn it yet. But well, who knows when i might need to bunny hop onto a willy in a moment of passion? Why am I a tool???

My favourite type of music…..I love all music. I usually play what’s currently on the radio. I fancy a bit of motown, pop, hip hop…I love a bit of a singalong and a dance off on most occasions.

I definitely love…..DRINKING.

To unwind I………..always want a MASSAGE. GOD! They are my favourite. Give me one…and i’ll adore you. Unless you’re that horrid crazy Chinese woman in Camden who tried to kill me to pan pipe music with a smile on her face and a really boney elbow. You’re a bitch. 🙂 

Party or Chill?………………..CHILL. I love to feel relaxed. Yet I love a cocktail bar….and I’ll stay out and have a blast. But you’d never find me trailing around a club at 7am in the morning, praying for a kebab with my heels in my hand. I’d rather be waking up at that time and being spooned by a Knight in shining armour, who’s telling me to make him a brew.

The worst thing about me…………I can be an ego maniac…but i’m soft.

Best thing about me…….I’m playful. I’m positive. I’m funnier than you think. I love a laugh. 

Favourite Makeup……….Estee Lauder.

I also love……Surprises.

I don’t like.……..Bad manners

I do like.…….Luxury

This year….I’ll smash my career and stilleto stamp my mark in cyberland.

This year……..I hope to fall madly in love and have that other human feel the same way also. 

The most inaccurate statement ever made about me..……..Well…most of it’s true. But i’m a grown up now. Lol.

Ps/ Whatsapp from Mel..

‘You missed a good one for the blog today. I told Dipper that he looked like Mr Bean. He said he always gets called that and he can ALSO DO THE DANCE. LOL!!!!!!!’

 

We Should ALL Send More Flowers

I’m shattered! It’s a good shattered. But oh my pansies, I need a trip to the forest, to chill in a champagne twinkled hot tub, away from ‘the bustle’ of ‘all sorts‘ where I can just work quietly and do the things that I love, without drowning in my OWN freshly created work load. Lol. Becareful what you wish for, as you just might get it dolls! 😉 I just need peace and what could be better than the ‘hidden away in a the calming depths of the forest’ effect ..AWW! That would be BLISS.

I’m doing well. I’m doing really well. Yet, my mind is really busy. I’m almost doing too much for me to handle by myself now. Part of me thinks that I can’t juggle it, but my drive just tells me that I can…and I end up doing it anyhow. But gosh, THANK GOD FOR GIN AND COCKTAILS….I love you like I love Jimmy Choos, Diamonds and Sausage Sandwiches. 😉

I’m in a giant work swirl. It’s madness and on overload. I told you i’m shattered. But i’m a really lucky girl, as I have brands campaigns, collabos, marketeers. agents and all sorts flying in with opportunities galore right now. Well I always say I’m ‘lucky’ because i’m grateful for any person, who sits in their office and just has a…

 ‘Hey, that Chrissie Wunna, she’s amazing, let’s work with her,’ moment.

Yet if i’m being honest, i’ve worked my kitten SOCKS OFF for those moments to occur…I’ve been up since five o clock this morning, I’ve worked all day and i’ll be up until the early hours still smashing out press releases, potential business proposals, whilst replying to all that is incoming. (Thank you for all the incoming opportunities. I honestly appreciate it madly.)

Do know that all this is at the same time as being ‘Mum.’ I LOVE BEING MUM and I make sure that I have those simple moments every day, where in which I can keep grounded and still be in touch with life. The people who get lost in the work swirl, lose their soul. They forget their purpose and you can see it in their work, their manners, their blogs, vlogs and all sorts. You can see it in their eyes, their smile, their mind.

I’m lucky because i’m surrounded by great people every day who keep my glittery soul alive, BUT REAL. Lol. There’s no ‘pampering of the star’ as I like to call it in Wunna land. Hahah! I mean for fucks sake ‘Take Me Out Nick,’ (he’s pretty much one of my besties, even though he keeps offering me imaginary cups of tea, maybe his body and can’t be home when he tells me to pop over,) certainly referred to me as a ‘gimp’ today…and I’m definitely sure that ‘Double B’ told me to ‘fuck off’ just because I looked at her. 🙂

Yet at the same time, other humans (who are just as ace) called me things like ‘beautiful’ and ‘thoughtful’ which again reminds me that I’m not an absolute buffoon after all. 😉  I sent a girl (well it was Katie at Social Chain) flowers the other day, to thank her for being so lovely to me..and she received them yesterday, on International Women’s Day, with a message that read,

‘It’s the smallest things that make a girl smile” Thank you for having me. Love you, Chrissie x  www.chrissiewunna.com’

And I didn’t do the standard ‘call the flower shop, at the last minute’ bouquet thing. (Even though I love that too 🙂 because it’s the easiest way to get yourself out of trouble in an emergency. Are you listening boys???)  I went with my favourite flower delivery service ‘Bloom & Wild’ and because nothing is more delightful to me than hand picked, fresh cut flowers, that are specifically chosen for the person in question, boxed up and presented beautifully with grace, love and thoughtfulness. To me, it is the most simple, yet elegant way to say ‘Thank you’ and I personally think that MORE girls should be delivered surprise flowers. People don’t seem send flowers enough these days, do they? I want to see more of it in 2017.

I love great people and I love brands and ideas that are ‘old school’ with a champagne misted twisted of modern… I share them an awful lot with others. Pretty much because brands of that sort represent who I am.

Anyway…

I really wanted Katie to be sat at her desk, at work in Manchester and to ‘out of the blue’ recieve a surprise box that contained my fresh cut flower choices, for her and not just to say ‘thank you’ but to also make her smile at the same time…That’s what Girl Power is about.

She Tweeted me earlier this afternoon to thank me and as I read the Tweet out to ‘Hot Sarah’ (whilst complaining because someone had dropped cookies all around me) it genuinely made me happy just knowing that I made her smile. Even for just five seconds, she would’ve have cut away from her own version of work day ‘bustle’ to simply feel a moment of extra appreciation. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

More people should send people flowers. It’s lovely.

Right, it’s 10.30pm and I have what feels like a 100 emails to send out before I can actually get some shut eye. So I’m pouring a gin and tonic and getting on with it.

I forgot to tell you that ‘London Business Man’ (who I whatsapp weekly, we’re good friends now) had a car crash and ended up in hospital. He lost control of his car on the M1 and crashed into everything, as his car swirled around and smashed his head into windows. I’m in SHOCK. I can’t believe that happened!!! Yet he’s on the mend. I should send him rum.

‘Eton Mess’ (who is lovely, but I haven’t chatted to him in months) has found himself in The Maldives…He’s a natural adventurer and well one minute he was in Manchester, coming out of a stressful time romantically and the next minute he was enjoying life the way he always wanted to, swinging from palm trees and bathing in the sun.

You never know where life is going to take you….but enjoy it! I always always say …that I never know exactly what’s going to happen to me…All I do know is that it’s something wonderful.

 

 

 

Hotel Nights, Manchester & Wine Drizzles

God! I didn’t have chance to blog last night, as I had made the executive decision to have a few ‘fun gins.’ FUN gins, are different to PROPER ALCHY gins because you’re smiling as you’re doing it and performing pop songs in your bedroom mirror like YOU ARE ‘Little Mix’ and not rocking slowly, in some lonely corner listening to sad love songs…crying. Now that I’m wiser, I never blog after ‘fun gins.’ 🙂 So i just did the obvious….and with privacy on my mind, I gracefully posted a selfie on EVERY social media platform available to me (lol) and then went to bed.

I’m quite knackered, but again feeling all positive about it, as I’ve had an eventful week. I can’t even believe it’s Friday today! It’s flown by and ofcourse it’s been filled with excitement. My Manchester trip to see Steven Bartlett at Social Chain has seemed to have caused excitement in your ever so ‘social’ lives. I have ‘Thank you for having me’ gifts headed their way…because honestly…my time there was phenomenal, yet i’d also like to thank YOU for taking the time to watch the Vlog, read my post …and ‘like’ everything about it. It’s YOU that make our Cyberland world’s ‘worth’ anything.

But gosh, anyway, after my meeting, I headed back to my hotel for a quick drink to calm my excitement. I was in the hotel bar, chilling in my faux fur…people were glaring at me, apart from this couple you were laid on the bouji sofa booths of this hotel bar, snogging and feeling each other up. Lol. I accidentally made eye contact with the female counterpart of this team and GOD, with a 42 year old stagger and a wine bottle in her hand (note…she was a 42 year old, who looked 27) she took it upon herself to come see me. Lol.

She was THE MOST DRUNK GIRL, I have ever met. Yet, there was something lovely about her and that ‘lovely’ was simply the fact that she kept shouting out loud, around the bar, in her very Scouse accent

‘You’re so beautiful! You’re boss you. I love you! Y’know, I love you! You look like JLo.Can I sit with you! Can you fuck your next meeting off so we an go to the toilet and do…’

It kinda got a bit ‘loooong’ even though she was trying to be lovely and in those situations, I’m soft…so i’ll watch and laugh along and get that she’s drunk….BUT I had people coming to meet me…so I kinda waited until they got there and slide off without her realizing. The great thing about that lady, was that she made me feel so squeaky lean and sober. Lol. She ended up losing her coat and her ‘fella,’ who she had been dating for 4 months after meeting him in Benidorm. To be fair, they were both hot….but just pissheads.

The night ended up being magical and very Manchester, as I swanned off to Neighbourhood (a bouji celeby haunt) for red, red wine and Spicy Tuna Hand rolls. TEAM ASIA.

My world was moonlit by this point, it was chilly but ‘wine’ warm. I felt like letting a little lose as I had such a surreal afternoon, that I needed a drink. I was joined by Cheshire Liz, who had emailed me months ago, I think in November, to get to meet me and I never got around to it. SO, (and this is what I love about her) she took it upon HERSELF to find me and meet me. I like that! She was just so much fun! She was glamourous, she started a blog last year, she loves a bit of Chrissiewunna.com, so she also has excellent taste and she’s ballsy. BUT SHE WAS DRIVING… SO HAD WATER! Lol Water! Water! Everywhere water! *Weep here*

As we walked into Neighbourhood it was..

*PAP, PAP*, PAP,PAP*, …as ‘Aaron the pap’ was waiting outside, to catch celebs on their way out.

So we ‘picture took’ and then he joined us for food. Sat behind us was a couple of drunky ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ chicks and THEN some random guy, who we thought was someone famous….

Aaron swears it’s the guy that Chesire liz has on her phone…so being the ‘big balls’ that she is, she struts straight over and asks him if its him, because she was going to the charity football match that he was playing in…AND IT FUCKING WASN’T.

HAHAHAHAH! I nearly died with laughter. I am not ballsy at all when it comes to things like that. I’d DIE before i would pluck up the courage to go up to a stranger or celeb and chat to them, because they’d reject me and i’d hate that. Lol. I only lie it when people come up to me and adore me. 🙂

She tottered back to the table to eat her mushrooms with an

‘I HATE YOU…LOL!’

HAHAHAHA!!!

Then Xfactor Liam Halewood came in with his lovely boyfriend. (They were about to head to America, but thought they’d stop by and do a wine with Wunna.) I love liam,he’s always so gracious to me and he looked damn fine.

‘I’ve had botox, my hair and my makeup done!’

I love that! Lol. He looked amazing!

But we chatted about work, life, a possible tv show and then as Cheshire Liz left…we talked about my day…over more wine.

FINALLY DRINKERS!

It’s weird because when i drink, i like people to drink with me. But if you’re a massive drunk like that 42 year old and intruding my space…I hate it. Lol. I think it’s based upon, if i invite you to play ‘being drunk with me’ or not.

The ended on a delicious note and I got into a cab…where the driver was SURE I was famous, so asked me my name and flipping Googled me (THE DREADED CHRISSIE WUNNA GOOGLE SEARCH LOL ) whilst he was parked up…and then the whole way back to the hotel..he was filled with gle…which made me smile.

So being the glamour puss that I am..I took the requested selfies, but refused to give him my number…as he offered to DRIVE ME BACK TO LEEDS FOR FREE. Lol. Nothing comes for free. Hahah!

Got back to my room, stripped off, bundled into my sheets, sent a few whatsapps, took a few selfies, did a bit of snapchat, opened a Sol, (that I didn’t drink,) ate a banana and then went to sleep in my glammy little executive suite at the Macdonald Manchester…like the happiest little girl in the world.

My eyes opened at 7.30am….

 

Birthdays, Chill Mode & Manchester on Monday

I think i’ve just let my body embrace ‘chill mode’ and this isn’t any normal kind of ‘chill mode,’ this is the ultimate, soft landing, let your world sink into deep relaxtion, as a release mode.

I feel like i’ve just jollied in from the LONGEST work week ever. I can feel it all in my back, all tense. All knotty. It was just one of those work weeks that just kept going and going, with early mornings, late nights…and not even nearly enough wine.

When my body is still ‘running’ it does the job and gets on with it. YET, there was just a moment, on Friday night, where in which I tip toed away from the bustle. (I’ve worked A LOT over the last week, but i’ve felt it? Friday was also Ruby’s birthday…She’s now SIX :)..so even at home, it’s been ‘go, go, go.’ People, plans, giddiness, all sorts.) But yes, I looked around me, at the bustle and I snook away for a second, to have a chill, just a little old lay on my good old bed. (Total Granny. 🙂 ) And as my utterly glamourous head, hit that extra soft, feathery pillow, almost as if it had happened in slow motion, my ENTIRE SOUL felt a strong *clench* relax and slooooowly release me from a lofty height of tense stress. It was BLISS. From that moment on, I was in a euphoric state of kitty chill and I think you just need those moments to recoup. It’s the balance. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about relaxing. If you work hard, you deserve it.

I have Ruby’s birthday weekend to delight in for the rest of the weekend…and to be fair the babies have been wonderful. Their little faces are lit with glee. Ruby’s so happy to be six and Junior’s so happy to skank extra pressies, because it’s his sisters birthday and he’s the baby, so we can’t leave him out. Lol.

All sorts happened last week. ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I pissed ourselves laughing, as we ventured out to what I’d call ‘foreign lands,’ lands that I had never been a part of before to collect awards. TWO AWARDS. Lol. We won the lot! Yet, we had to ‘copper up’ to afford to buy booze, because they didn’t accept card and we didn’t have any cash on us. Well, we spent the cash on being charitable, which although lovely, and Little Miss Fairytale won Daffodil biscuits :)…kinda annoying when it comes to feeding my alcoholism. ‘Lady Shizzle’ who went with us, (I did vino with her, the red sort, before the event,) had to leave us to it, to journey home and dumped a handful of 20 pence pieces in my hand, which i was tremendously grateful for, as I could then afford a Sol. Lol. ‘Fairytale Blond’ got a CUPPA TEA at the pub before and then a JUICE Lol…at the event thing. I was filled up with wine, probably up to my little squinty kitten eye balls.

The rest of my chick friends, are all on ‘time of the month‘ vibes, so everything is all a little stressy or a littler tender. It’s delightful. It’s all hair extensions, blond bits and grumpy faces, with stress.

We’re all eating out of that FILTH DRAWER like desperate chimpanzees on the look out for….(Lol…sorry, just giggling at the time Firmonnell kept carrying around this banana with her, like her utter LIFE depended on it, like it was her weird BEST FRIEND. HAHAHA!)

‘Why do I constantly have this fucking banana in my hand?’

‘What’s that on my desk?’

‘Firmonnell’s banana!’

I am eating like a fat Oriental pig. It’s disgusting. I mean, you KNOW you’re not in Hollywood anymore, when you’ve gone out of your way to HIDE a fucking BACON SANDWICH from Greggs, in a drawer, that you can easily access, with one, left hand swing, if you fancied a bite. I’m not even left handed, so it’s my emergency arm.

I DID that!! That is what I have become! Waist trainer? I’ve probably eaten it, with a side of pork dumplings? 🙂

And there’s me thinking, ‘Ooh, I have a bunch of events and shoots that start in March, so I’ll get in shape, eat well and get skinny for them…’

Oh yeah, totally smashed that goal…

I mean I head to Manchester in Monday to go have a cheeky peeky behind the Social Chain walls. I snapchatted Steve…Steven Bartlett and asked if i could go…and he agreed. So I get to meet him to! Couldn’t be more excited for Monday! Can’t wait to meet everyone. Can’t wait to blog about it all….BUT I’M GONNA BE THE CHUBBY VERSION OF MYSELF. GREAT! I’m mean to be some crown wearing glamour puss for crying out loud!

I bet they don’t hide bacon sandwiches in drawers! No! They’re decent human beings….all creative and hard working….all….

I hope they have cocktails?

The funny thing about all this, is that when I made my Gino’s appearance, remember that blog….at the end of last year….I had made a bet at the Prosecco bar with House of Solo Magazine owner Abeiku Arthur….I had started watching Steve’s Vlogs every night and getting into them and then began Tweeting about how much I loved them. ‘House of Solo’ Abeiku Arthur then decided to Tweet Steve…and I correctly predicted that he wouldn’t get a reply, yet Steve would ‘like/favourite’ my Tweet.

What I didn’t tell you, was that I also predicted that I would be IN THAT OFFICE in a couple months. 🙂 Lol. AND *BOOM*….Monday, I check in!

Like, I said, I’m really excited. I can’t wait to tell you about my time there…I go on Monday and I even kept my Diary completely empty for Tuesday, whilst I’m still in Manchester, so that I can blog it all accurately…when it’s fresh….

Facebook Msg: (PE teacher from Malta) ‘Heeyyyyyyyyyyy, not out living the high life this evening? *Add kissy face emoji’s here.*

Whatsapp Msg: (London Business Man)

‘Your obviously too in demand these days x

It’s so bizarre, because both of those guys are from my ‘last year’ and they both decided against pairing up with  ‘Wunna land…’ I hadn’t spoken to them….Just got on with doing life….It all *zoomed* into the beginning of ‘dreams come true’ and then just like that, they’re back *tapping* on my Cyberland door. Both lovely humans. I wouldn’t date either of them. But they make good friends. Men must like women when they are headed to success? Well no…it either makes me more attractive to some OR makes other guys just feel defeated, like there would be no point in trying I’d never go for it….

But right now….I’ve got to go back and tend to organizing the rest of Ruby’s birthday weekend…

Love you all!

Chrissie

 

 

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Fairytales, Single Life & Inboxes

‘Awww…we need to find you a man Chrissie’ said Mel, as she eased off her headset and sat forward in her swivel chair, with a radiating grin that only EVER occurs in a girl, a lady, or a woman when the ‘love bug’ has got her and she is embracing the magical swirl of it all.

I was flipping rummaging in a cupboard for a key. Glamoruously ofcourse. Yet the key wasn’t to anyone’s heart. Just simply to aid the opening of doors.

David: ‘What about London Business Man?’

See…I would NEVER have thought that David would’ve ever *scroll clicked* into Wunna land? So it surprised me. Yet, at the same time it was hilarious, as he did actually refer to ‘London Business Man’ as ‘London Business Man,’ which always makes me smile.

‘Nothing. We aren’t anything…

Mel: ‘You do right…I mean he can’t just try to come back now…’

‘Well he’s just sent me a Whatsapp reading…*Okay handing in the towel and giving up 🙁 *’

I just looked as David, as he left Mel and I, to dash out the door and start his own work day, in his tie, with is diary…and smiled with a confident eye contact, that would inform anyone that, that particular chapter of ‘last year’ was and is waaaaaaaaaaaay in the past.

‘He can’t just adore me, choose another girl over me…fob me off, yet THEN realize I might have been a better choice and OH LOOK, I’m now doing well and after noticing that… decide to THEN shimmie back in…I’m not soft like that. I will do catch up drinks with him…yet…I just can’t take him seriously…’

I’m the warmest, most forgiving bundle of boobied Oriental that you’ll ever meet…but i’m not foolish. I’m a big girl. I’m grown. In a moment when I utterly adored him, he made me feel utterly rejected because he wasn’t ready to care for me…and anyone can relate to that feeling. Yet…that was a year ago. Time moves on. As soon as I got over that niggly rubbishy feeling, I jollied onward. I’m not weird like that. I’m happy and the best people LIVE their new chapters with love, forgiveness, with smiles and with rum cocktails. (Mel’s going through a huge new chapter right now, where after years of absolute shit…and THREE YEARS of single life….The Big Dude up above has watched her fight back so hard, that he’s got bored of the show, cut her some slack and thrown her a happy ending. Makes me smile. Her ‘Love swirl’ told her that he loves her the other night. 🙂 )

‘CHRISSIE!!!! I’M IN LOVE! OFFICIALLY:) ‘

Watching her made me beam. In fact, they’re all in love right now…’ALL’ meaning my chick friends. They’re all so different. All in different types of love, different stages of love and in different generations of love. Firmonnell with her 2 children and hubby ‘Big D,’ who go through life with smiles and this happy family life. ‘Fairytale Blond,’ in a newish  love that is becoming more and more stable by the day. (She literally does ‘love’ by the book. It’s like one big, moral …Fairytale text book.) ‘Double B’ and Master.G…are young 20 somethings that are all flashy, urban and glamorously ‘gangsta bouji.’  They’re like this hilariously bizarre comedy duo, who were simply made for each other. Lynne has been with Tony for hundreds of years, from being fifteen to sixty!!!  (AS IF) Hot Sarah is all moved in, loved and doing her 4th year Anniversary, yet still seeks adventure. Mel, as you know, is three months in, as soft hearted as they come with a warrior exterior. You don’t mess with her. She’s fallen madly in love, after three whole years of ‘no man anywhere.’

They all kinda give me hope and i’ve been in love, had loads of attention, no attention, been happy, been sad, been married three times, up, down and everywhere, from all angles of that glammy coin.

But i’ve just never found my true love yet and even though I’m the only one that’s single, I don’t seem to mind as right now? Until I find the man of my dreams…that crazy love…that love that takes over me, my soul mate….I’m not bothered. I’m not in the mood to *kiss a bunch of toads.* I’m too old for that…and too egotistical. 😉

I’m going through more life changes this year than ever…and embracing them…I think? Even though there are A LOT OF CAREER THINGS ‘PENDING…’ And it’s awful because it’s like typing a message, hitting ‘send,’ but your wifi connection conks out, as the *swirl* icon buffers around and around and around, going nowhere…PENDING is better than nothing, but still shit. 🙂

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah but Chrissie, that’s exciting, as all the things that are pending are really BIG things.’

‘Yes, but  don’t have them yet.’

Then Double B decided to cast Firmonnell in the pretend film version of chrissiewunna.com, if it was a budget ‘Sex in the City’ with a..

‘You’d definitely be the red haired lesbian one, Chrissie’s *Carrie* and I’m that dirty one that talks shit all the time..’

I’m lucky because in my world i’m on constant mode of ‘hide it well’ stress. Yet, it almost doesn’t absorb because it’s completely dissolved by the best chick friends, a girl could ever HAVE, who inject my stress with the most hilarious girl banter and laughter. I love them. 🙂 You should too. They’ll send you nudes.

‘Prince Jonathan’s completely changed since he’s met Fairytale Blond. He’s found his one.’

‘I mean yeah, look at Master G and I, he used to be a massive coke head and now he’s lovely.. It’s like a fairytale in itself.

HAHAHA.

‘Once upon a time, there was a….’

At the end of the day I can’t control any of the ‘pending,’ so I just have to let life decide for me…

I mean GOD, I’m a finalist in the UK Blog Awards this year. Over 97,000 people voted, through a public vote, which landed me in the TOP 8 ‘most voted for’ blogs in my category. WHAT? That shocked me. That was in December and I found out I was finalist in January. I HONESTLY COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. It was glorious! 🙂 I happy danced.

THEN, and obviously I KNEW the whole time, that I was a finalist, yet sort of made the executive decision to forget about it all and just get on with doing what I do best and that’s tell my story. Yet even though I couldn’t be more honoured. Like it feels just SO SPECIAL, as this is MY LIFE. It’s not a review site, an advice site, or anything…It’s literally just my story….and fortunately a journey that so many of you, all over the world have tuned in to. It’s unbelievably humbling.

Today I got a reminded that the event was in April (I can’t wait for it but i’m terrified and I DO EVENTS ALL THE TIME. BIG ONES. The email said that the JUDGES had now handed in their winning results? WHAT!!! That ALONE, really shit me up for a bit, because I had FORGOTTEN that I was being judged by  the judges through FEBRUARY!! JESUS!

So, now there’s nothing I can do, but pour a wine, keep ‘Dear Diarying’ it , show up in April, STILL FLIPPING SINGLE..and not win. Hurrah!

Ps/ Thank you for all the support 😉

PPS/ Thank you to the guy that inboxed me this message today…

‘Love your blog & ffs, 99 percent of males would love to have you in their life…I think you’re amazing..xx’

The reason why i’m thanking you, is because there was a moment today when I might have been a little fed up…and I just happened to glimpse down at my phone and that message popped up randomly…But it was so positive and so lovely that it made me FEEL chipper. So I thank you for that and send you my love.

PPS/ The dude that send me the video in his builders uniform…plastering…Always a treat! Lol. Cheers! 🙂