Trips to Manchester, To Find Love….

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Did my hair, did my face, did my lips, did my pout, slipped into heels and got myself to the train station, which would delicately deliver me to Manchester airport, in one glamourous piece, ready for my ‘date,’ my ‘meet up.’

Before, we start, I’ll let you know I had the most amazing time. It was almost wonderous. I  wrongly thought that my date was in Liverpool, but it was actually in Manchester. Good job, he reminded me, before I arrived in the wrong city. Lol. He actually FLEW IN for work and then the date… (Bouji, innit. 😉 I like that about him.)

But why am I  so shocking!!!! I couldn’t even get the city right?

Yet, before I even got there, I shat myself with nerves, in my little Missy Empire pink dress. (Thank you for the dress. It was devilish. The little pink dress, is the NEW little black dress.) I stopped off, got two wines at The Mallard, in Doncaster, as @kingkenny1985 (who works there, and loves a Wunna Land insta story) had to *pause* and do a ‘double take..’ with a…

‘I just had to double check to see if it was you…You WILL get yourself into these situations…Lol’

I got to Platform 3B, which takes me straight to Manchester airport, kinda in a jiffy and that was after ‘The Draughtsman Ale House’ handed me a ‘half’ a tipple, to calm my nerves, because they were so excited about my little adventure! (Thank you for that! 🙂 )

(It fell out of my hand on the train, whilst I was messaging Miss.Muprhy and ‘drop poured’ into my OPEN, overnight bag. 😉 )

YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEeeeeeeee!

Everything just stank of ale! 🙂 All you could hear was this random Oriental, faux furred, big haired… idiot, SWEARING under her breath, like an angry, porny looking…ninja.

‘I can’t help it, i’m just drawn this way….’

My date was excited, messaged me the whole way through, to keep me in check, with his whereabouts. He did admit he was a little nervous.

Date: ‘Wow! I’m almost nervous to meet you…Lol.’

(I was ‘dropping fucking drinks’ nervous. But it always scares me when they’re nervous, because I don’t want them to think i’m some kind of goddess, because they’ll only be disappointed when they meet me, i’m sure.) 

Chick friend: ‘Not so adventurous and brave now, are you Wuns! Haha.’ 

Me: ‘Fuck off. I’m STILL l doing it. I’m STILL headed there. I never said I don’t actually feel the fear! Haha.’

He’d organised everything, so perfectly to a ‘T.’ Rooms were booked, everything has been scheduled, sorted and planned out. Almost wonderfully. All he wished for ME to do, was show up,’relax and enjoy.’

It’s almost like I had forgotten, that men like him…actually still existed. 

He’s a miracle. You wouldn’t even believe it. Before I even went on the date….and remember I had never ever met him in person….He had already managed to make me feel like a Princess…That’s the wrong word.

He made me feel appreciated, respected, beautiful and of absolute worth. 

All that ever matters to me, is how someone makes me feel… He didn’t even do it, with intent to manipulate or be showy….He did it, because he’s just built that way, he’s kind. He’s so much fun, but a proper old school gentleman.

I LOVED IT. It makes a guy so so sexy!

I arrived at the airport. I was driven to the hotel…It was raining so heavily outside, which I kinda love, when I know i’m INSIDE. There’s an evening comfort to it.

He arrived much earlier and had to dash off to work. I had school runs etc, so arrived in the evening…I had an envelope with my name upon it, with my room key ready and waiting for me…and with a smile, a wink and shake off of the rain, I was headed up the elevator, into my room…as the rain poured down, over Manchester Airport.

I got settled, took selfies, did lunges (lol) and went down to the bar for a white wine spritzer. The staff couldn’t have been more delightful. I was at The Clayton Hotel. right by the airport. I tottered in with my wink and pink dress…and Life was pretty much sorted from there.

He had just got done at the match….and was en route to meeting me.

The whole way through, he made sure I was utterly comfortable. He’s really organised, so he was telling me the plan, every hour. Lol.

Date: ‘Just order anything you need to eat or drink on the room, when you arrive. Don’t worry. Honestly, just enjoy…I’ll see you soon…’

I got my own drinks at the bar..whilst I waited.  I actually met loads of fun people, who were all off on sunny adventures. The gents loved me in that bar, but the chicks didn’t…and I hate that, because I’m lovely. Lol.

(Girls shouldn’t SCOWL at girls, they do not know. When you do, you lose your swag, your beauty & your level of confidence becomes very visible. Even if you feel it…don’t do it. I’m not there to steal your man, i’m on a flipping DATE!) 

But what can I say…My lil’ pink dress was ‘killer.’

Anyway…

Long story short…

He arrived…I was upstairs in the room…and when the door opened and I saw him…I filled with terror, smiled, (because you just godda charm that shit out) and then just told him that I was nervous.

He smiled…looked at me. He actually *paused* and looked me in the eye. I didn’t know whether to be happy for terrified. Did he think I was hot? Or did he think I was not? Yet, then when I snapped out of my few seconds of utter, charming *panic,* I then looked at HIM…and a calm, warmness sort from him…

Date: ‘Wow, you look great. You’re dressed like that and i’m dressed like this..Lol.  I’ve ordered food to the room…I’ve had such a stressful day, i need a drink. Lol. I’ve also ordered you another wine…’

(He already knew what i’d been drinking at the bar. I like that. It impresses me.) 

Then just like that, we sat down, we relaxed and we just started talking. He sat on the sofa and I sat a little away from him…But I noticed that I’m much more guarded now. I had my arms folded, to accessorize my smile. When I was on my first date with ‘The Swirl’ ages ago…I wasn’t like that, I was all cuddly and kissy…and…banter.

I was guarded that night. Open, friendly…yet nervous about potentially getting my little kitten heart broken…in the future. Yet, that’s not the way to go…You don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future…So, i relaxed, enjoyed by time, the moment and him.

He was alive He’s smart. He’s fun. He’s non judgemental. He knows a lot about people and life. He’s excited by me. He’s a family man. Someone who knows what truly matters to him, in life…

HE DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH, WHEN I TOLD HIM HOW MANY TIMES, I’D BEEN MARRIED ETC… He’s not terrified of me….He’s impressed by me?

He laughed and said…

‘I love that about you…At least I know you’re not scared of commitment, If i ever need to ask….Lol’ 

Then he said,

‘Datings always hard isn’t it…because you can meet a really pretty girl and she has an awful personality, or has no grasp on real life…You’re not like that, at all. I saw that you were a Mum and I loved that about you… I knew that you had real responsibilities and experienced real love…real life…’

OH MY GOD! DREAM!

(He’s also a Father… and I love a family man, don’t I! I also love that he’s bouji, but real. He’s not caught up with bullshit. He’s solid, stable, loving, sexy and a HAPPY singleton. He’s open to love….But would rather be on his own, than be with someone who wasn’t right! Just like ME!!!)

But the more we spoke, the more I relaxed I became. He was so interesting…so calm….

Date: ‘How old are you? God! You don’t look it at all…’

Me: ‘Everyone says that, but I don’t get it. It’s cos you didn’t know me when I was 20.’ 

Then we started eating and sipping our drinks…We started talking about footballers and glamour models and how they kinda have the same sort of job/lifestyle, yet one has the boy version and the other had the girl version…. of the shindig.

Date: ‘I guess, that’s why they always date?’

Me: ‘I just think sporty boys are filled with more testosterone, really. Lol’ 

Date: ‘Hahah. No, but when it comes to our lifestyle etc….Us guys, want to date an exciting girl. A *dangerous* girl. A beautiful girl…A.. ….’

Me: ‘Someone that gets ya juices flowing… I get it… Someone who isn’t Vanilla..’

Date: ‘Yeah. You’re that. You’re dangerous...(he had a smirk on his face, when he said it.) But you’re not just looks, like most…So, i’m almost sat here, hoping you want to see me again…I need to get shower… Hang on…’

Me: Why have you turned the lights off…?’

Date: ‘So I don’t scare you… Lol’

(Only a true vixen isn’t scared in the dark Haha. It’s the light that makes her feel unnerved.)

The rest of the evening was divine. We relaxed. We shared stories. I needed to relax a lot more than he did, if I’m honest. He was confident, caring, he knew life. He’s one of those ‘good at everything,’ guys… But so so humble.

Me: ‘There isn’t anything you can’t do? What are you rubbish at?’

Date: ‘I can’t dance well. I’m an athlete, so I can move…But I just don’t find it easy to dance. Hahaha. ‘

Then because he felt I was tense, he walked his fingers up my back and pushed on parts that he felt were tense.

It was literally the most gentle thing, and it felt SO good.

He was GROWN. He was full MAN. Like, he raised the bar, on what being a true man is! He’s an  actual ‘great at everything,’ guy, with a successful career, who’s a wonderful father/family guy. Someone who’s loving, sexy… and truly truly knows how to take care of a woman…on every level.

He walked his fingers up to the top of my back, just under my neck and pushed his fingers down to release tension….I looked at him, through a mirror…and we smiled…

That was the part where I trusted him…and he massaged me….

The next morning, I woke up at The Clayton Hotel, by Manchester Airport…after the most wonderful time, with the most thoughtful man I had every met.

It couldn’t even be real. It was like a dream….He was IMPRESSIVE. I like to feel impressed, don’t I? And Cupid properly threw in a gem, this time around….It’s like The Gods are trying to show me my options…

I swear…

I literally haven’t met a more generous, or more thoughtful man ever, who is dripping in sex appeal. He’s not even wet with his kindness. He’s charming. But not fake. He’s real. He’s someone you never need to prompt, because he’s always waaay ahead of you. I love that! He’s really intelligent.

(‘Well, we were only working a couple hours a day. There was a lot of free time. In that time, I got a degree…so I could use it later…Most of the guys don’t think to do that. I even speak five languages now…and run two companies…’) 

There’s a sophistication to him, that’s delivered with punctuated fun. He’s not a lose cannon. He’s stable. His feet are firmly on the ground. Yet, at the same time, he’s not ‘vanilla.’

For once, I got to feel like a girl. I got to feel so precious. I got to feel ‘taken care of,‘ instead of ‘having to take care of…’ I know so many women (including myself) who never get to feel like that!

He’s a good person…

Date: ‘I hope you want to see me again…I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I hope so. I’ll message you as soon as I get home…’ 

I can’t honestly have been that lucky?

Haha…it felt so ‘Pretty Woman.’

What is happening in my life right now?

If i don’t see this guy again, I will officially be the stupidest girl in the world. What a gentleman. What an amazing man. I don’t think i’ve ever been treated that well!!

I’m stunned…

I took the 10.53, from Platform 3A at Manchester Airport, back home, with my Red Bull…so I could arrive in time for a school run. 

Cashier: ‘You know it’s £2.90…’

Me: ‘Yeah…but fuck it, I need it..’

 

On my train home…

(After some chick gave me daggers and rammed her luggage on wheels into me. Lol. You can’t *ram* me after i’ve just been Princess treated!)

Miss. (who I love) Murphy: ‘The guys in the office who follow you avidly want to know which………he is? Liam has worked out that… Hahaha. This is hilarious!’

Firmonnell: ‘Did you fancy him? He sounds so perfect. How did it go!!!??!!! He’s sexy!’

Laura Grace: ‘Tell me everything…’

Halewood: ‘What happened!!!! You lucky bitch!’

Man sitting next to me: ‘I feel like i’ve seen you before….? Oh shit! I follow you on insta. How was the…’

Bartender Girl: ‘How was it then!!?!’

King Kenny: ‘How did it all go?’

Sarah T: ‘Who is this guy!!!!’

Big Brother Rex: ‘Must’ve been a good… with ya hair like that! 😉 Hahaha. ‘

 

3.30pm…

Ruby: ‘I’m glad you’re back Mum. How was he?’

 

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But which boy will stick?

Chick friend: ‘So, did he reply?’

Me: ‘Who?’

Chick friend: ‘T Bone…OR The Gent….either of them??’

Me: ‘Yeah. Yeah. They both did…One replied straight away and then wished me a really great day this morning, with an emoji kiss.. and the other replied with the words *naughty ass.* Hahaha…’

Chick Friend: ‘I already know, which ones which. Lol’ 

But in T Bone’s defense….he already knows me & we’re quite bantery and highly sexed by nature…We’re northern and cheeky… Plus, he’s already had sex with me. Already ‘sampled the goods.‘ So he can get away with ‘naughty ass.’ I’m not new, to him..

The Gent however, has never met me, doesn’t know me and of course wants to make the best first impression possible…which is honorable and lovely. I like that. It’s kind. It’s sweet. It’s thoughtful.

Chick Friend: ‘He still wants to bone you though. Haha. He’s just approaching it well..’

Me: ‘POLITELY! I like good manners. Everyone wants to bone me mate. Lol. That’s not the problem. It’s who wants to KEEP me, that IS! Someone who doesn’t JUST see me as a Bone Festival!’

Chick Friend: ‘I love how you put *Festival* after everything…’

Me: ‘It’s my phrase for * a lot of…* I have my own lingo & I love how you all just understand it, without me usually having to explain it to you.’

I’ve just shot a bunch of instagram pictures with shows dragging out my mouth, whilst dressed in lingerie. Lol.

This is my life.

I’ve also gathered up enough Insta Questions now, from you, to place on a blog…which will be coming up shortly. I just didn’t have enough ‘juicy’ ones before. Yet, you listened and you delivered, dolls!

I’m running a business. I’m juggling babies. But it’s awesome right now. I wanted a wine at 9am, but didn’t have one. I’m currently blogging, with a giant, glamour pussy hair piece, wedged upon my head, whilst  just being in knickers.. as I sit around flamingos.

I’m gonna need that wine after this.

Then I had one meeting. Caught up on my emails and made my plans for the future…before I shot.

I’m always making plans for the future. (I’m talking work right now. I’ve left my fucking love life to fate…cos GOD, I can’t seem to do anything about it.) I’m quite an ambitious girl. I’m quite determined girl. But it’s done with love and fun. Not utter evil, spitefulness like Roxanne Pallett. Lol. (Yes! I got my dig in!)

So, i’m really excited, because i’m gonna get there..I can feel it. I can FEEL it. I just need to catch it. But it’s down to life ‘magic’ now. I’m not in a race. I’m gonna do it well.

To me it doesn’t matter how MANY things you do, it’s all about doing that ONE THING so well…it’s makes UTTER IMPACT.

That’s kind of how I feel about love also. I’m a one man, woman. I’m not one to play with lots of boys. I hate that. I want true love and don’t believe you’re fated to be with everyone…JUST ONE OTHER HUMAN.  When I love, i love hard When I fancy, I have a one track mind and i’ll always only focus my heart on that one guy…once sprung.

(Ooh, my boobs are looking good today! Just caught myself in my mirror. Lol. Sorry.) 

My friend Liam Halewood was on the telly last night, on ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel, on Channel 4 and I just wanted to say how proud I was of him, because he’s such a talent and he wants to do well, (like us all) and i’m sure he’s had a rough time with it. It’s not easy. So he certainly deserves a bit of ‘look at me,’ that lasts. His soul is good. He’d do anything for anyone. I’m really glad that I have him as a friend.

PLUS…

Today, I watched him do a ‘Wheely Bin’ workout, where you hold onto the back of your ‘wheely’ and flick your legs behind you. Lol. After every five flicks, you then have to slut drop, STILL holding the back of your wheely bin and only in PINK. You can only wear pink, when doing his exercises.

All my friends are just awesome.

If I had a round of exercises it would simply be…

‘Pick your wine glass up…and neck it in one…’

That’d be it…in heels. You’d have to help heels, to help your calves.

It helps your bat wings, your neck muscles, your gag reflex and it’s literally great for the soul. 🙂

I’m really looking forward to meeting ‘The Gent’ on 18th. I know I keep going on about it. But i love meeting new people and so far, he’s been lovely to me. He’s been attentive, without being annoying. Lol. But I do need to see, as things are different when you meet someone in person, aren’t they…and it’s not like i know him?

Yet, the thing is…with The Swirl aka T Bone…We’d already talked lots and lots before…Life kept sort of,  pushing us together and pulling us apart…Anyway, when I met HIM, for the first time, in person, it was actually amazing. I think we got on better than we thought, because it was just so easy. Just so perfect.

I mean, that could’ve gone another way…but it didn’t…So meeting The Gent in 2 weeks, will give me better insight..Lol.

I almost wish guys came with a quick film trailer of their romantic history, so i could see what I was getting myself into.

Anyway, I’ve godda get back to work.

Thank you following my life.

Hit play…

 

Love you..

Chrissie x

 

 

No message is A message….. ;)

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Simmie Love: ‘Did you whatsapp that message to The Swirl?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He hasn’t read it yet…’

Simme Love: ‘If he reads it and doesn’t reply, know that no message, IS a message. That whole time, he was probably dating someone..’

Me: ‘It’s not that dramatic. I’ll just snapchat it to him later. We’re in totally different time zones. It’s like midnight there.’ 

No message, is a message…what a great thing to remember..

How are you all? My babies are back at school. I’ve smashed a business meeting, two shoots and an audition, already and it’s not even 3pm.

Don’t hate me cos i’m jiggly. 😉

I’m back on track. All feels delightful. I’m meant to be answering your Insta questions (that I do daily) on my blog today, but there hasn’t been a lot of ‘JUICY’ questions. They’ve all been a bit ‘same old,’ and dull.

I’m going through an exciting change and i’m feeling ya love.

Today, I strutted towards my local supermarket and as I did, this older Yorkshire guy, poked his head out the window and shouted..

‘Here! Love! Them pictures that your posting are getting better & better! I love that one that you put up this morning…Really good. 😉 ‘

And it made me smile, not because of the recognition..which is always good in my old age. Everyone likes it. But because it made me realize that it’s the smallest things, that make me smile.

I buzzed off what he said…

All it took was a little ‘shout out’ of appreciation…and I was beaming. (I do hear it a lot online…yet it was good to receive a real life shout out, as I’ve heard that people are often too scared to do that?

You shouldn’t be. I’m the warmest soul you’re ever gonna meet. Yeah, i’m banter. Yeah I’m sassy…But i’m jolly. Lol.

It’s funny because as girls, we never feel appreciated enough, do we? Our history makes us harder and makes us doubt ourselves at times. But don’t…because there are little things that you will find that empower you. Little things, that are filled with appreciation.

I’ve slowly through time BECOME so independant, because I had to. I never wanted to feel like I had to rely on anyone else. I never wanted to feel like I had to rely on a guy in a relationship., because no one really meant ‘forever..’

Whereas, if i’m being honest…all I would want is for a guy, to take me by the hand, tell me that everything’s going to be okay and take care of me, so I can enjoy being a girl….without having to always ‘sass’ it out.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m ambitious and determined, so I want my own ting and career going down…YET, emotionally, i’d love a true Knight…once that wouldn’t think twice, when it comes to loving, caring and looking after me. I need a REAL MAN.

Whatsapp Msg:

Chick friend: ‘Hey. What’s happening with you? Need a catch up soon…He’s gone.. and I need some fun..’

SEE! We’re ALL going through it…’

I have my friendly ‘meet up’ shortly, don’t I and i’m excited for it…and every time ‘T Bone’ is more and more disinterested…it kinda makes me more excited for what lies ahead. (Notice that I all him both nicknames, depending on what i’m typing. Lol. Yes. I’m a lunatic.) 

Livvy C: ‘I kinda want him to stand you up in a way, in the nicest way.’

Me: ‘Why?’

Livvy C: ‘I want him to be a douche…because I think you’re gonna meet him, he’ll be all delightful and you’ll be IMMEDIATELY sprung..as always..’

Me: ‘No. I’m going into it on a friendly basis….I’m cool…’

Livvy C: ‘There’s just someone that you’re meant for…and I just don’t want you to get over excited…and gush…because you do that…’

Me: ‘Not with everyone..’

Livvy C: ‘Haha. True. But you’re gonna like him…and he’s DEFINITELY going to like you..and because he’s older than you, he’s going to baby you.’

It’s almost like she would prefer me to delusionally gush over ‘T Bone.’ Yet my spirit is one of adventure…and so far, all seems great. Plus, i’m equipped for a ‘stand up,’ (a ‘stand up won’t happen,) yet it’s not like it hasn’t happened to me a million times before..

(A guy once stood me up in a hotel room in London…who i’d known for a really long time…)

But all that to one side…Life is really good. I feel like my career is on the up. I always say, ‘slow and steady…’ but moving…and moving is better than still.

The first thing I Googled this morning was DEFINITELY..

‘Exercises to tighten your vagina..’

..followed by some X rated ‘on my own’ stuff. Lol 😉

So yeah…my world’s complete.

How’s yours?

ps/ I never know what’s going to happen to me, I always know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

Back on Northern Soil Dolls….

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(Picture Copyright: Aaron Parfitt/Flynet)

So, I was on my flight back. I flew Ryanair on the way home. I’d passed some Spanish football team en route at Alicante airport, one of them accidentally knocked into me, (which didn’t really bother me…I mean…it’s life, worse things can happen. ) Anyway, he decided to apologize repeatedly and sincerely…which was really well mannered.  Then chat to me….in Spanish? But by this point… I was knackered…and I’d be watching a family of 4, with a really bossy/strict mum control her entire family for a good 20 minutes, as I had a wine and waited for my flight.

I was done.

But I do want to say that the STAFF at Alicante Airport were DIVINE TO ME! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! SO SO MUCH! You couldn’t have been more lovelier!

Flight’s home are wonderful, because no one enjoys waiting around, twiddling thumbs…when they’ve run out of Euros, at airports. Nothing could be more boring. And i’m creative! 🙂 Fights…Fights? I mean Flights….Lol. Flights home are MUCH MORE tedious than flights TO places…as you’re literally just shattered, instead of being filled with excitement. You go on ‘GET ME HOME’ mode…

There was a point, where I just looked up at the blond, scrunchied (they always wear scrunchies,) trolley girl, with sorrow in my eyes, the biggest hair ever and…tits…..:) with two handfuls of change and a pink tshirt that read..

‘YOU DO YOU, BOO’

(LOL)

I was too knackered to converse in any jolly fashion, but i tried to smile, which may have looked like a *wince* and I tried to put on my posh girly voice, that may have sounded like CRUELLA DE VILLE. (Don’t care if i’ve spelt that wrong.) My left had was filled with Euro’s…ALL IN COINS and my right hand was filled with British coins….

‘Hi. I just don’t want to break into any of my notes… I need to use up all this change, especially Euros…Can you pick me out stuff, ANY STUFF….that includes wine and crisps….so I can spend it all?’

Trolley Dolly: ‘Yeah, absolutely. If you want I can mix up the the change for you, so you can pay for it all with both currencies, as one whole payment.’

ISN’T SHE JUST BLISS! 

‘YES, I love you. Please, do that! Thank you so much. Lol.’

She winked at me…I almost became part of the Mile High Club. Lol

And with a wiggle and a giggle….the poor girl stood there merrily and did a whole bunch of MATHS (my worst absolute subject…Actually what am I on about..‘love life‘ is my worst subject. Makes my maths look Einsteiny.) She stood, on the plane, in her scrunchie, with her name badge, as we flew through the clouds, calculating and adding for me….because I couldn’t be arsed to. That’s service! Lol. She counted change out of my hand and began passing me bits off the trolley.

LOTS OF BITS. More bits that i needed. But I couldn’t be more grateful.

After wine, we were home in a jiffy.Landed. Sorted. The gent next to me, told me to..

‘Watch that old mans head…’

As I almost flung my carry bag about like I was Beyonce, because I couldn’t reach it out of those top units. I love the Leeds flight home…It get’s really REAL and really Yorkshire.

Then as I stepped back into Leeds Bradford airport, did all the queues…shimmied through border control….shattered…but listening to two boys infront of me, rambling on about the chicks they’re apparently about to ‘sex up’ with their really little willies.

One of the Random Boys: ‘You…Where you off? You taking me, cos…?’

Me: ‘As if you’ve been on holiday and not managed to get a tan?’

I love butting in on people’s sentences when they’re trying to be ‘swaggy,’ changing the subject and leading it. 😉 You wanna play ‘swag,’ let’s play?

Boy: ‘I was out partying all night. I partied hard, y’know, I slept through the day, all day… I got businesses and shit… So, where you taking me?’

(He said it to me, like I had never ever seen a nightlife in my entire life. 😉 )

Me: ‘I worked the whole time I was there. I shot. I’m a model. I’ve only been in Spain for 2 days.’

Boy: ‘My ex girlfriend’s a model…and..’

Me: ‘What’s her name?’

Boy: ‘You won’t know her… She done lots…She’s been to London and everything.. What stuff have you done?’

And at that point, I couldn’t be arsed anymore. I just got bored. Plus, there’s a time and a place for the answer to that question…and that’s when i’m at work, a casting, an audition, an interview..or if i’m getting to knoew someone personally, who I hope to be with forever. They’re the only times I EVER have to reel out a verbal CV. Not at BORDER CONTROL, in a ‘You do you, Boo’ tshirt. I’D JUST GOT OFF A PLANE FROM WORK. I WAS SHATTERED. I didn’t want to chat ‘my life story.’ 

Luckily, his friend deliberately distracted him…and I clicked both their phones onto CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM 🙂

ALL THE PROMO. Lol. No shame in my game.

When I’m tired, I’m really quiet and I’d rather just have people go to the blog and read up about me, because i’m just really shit, during those times.

Hahahah! Shit! And A SHIT!

When I’m not tired. I’m the exact opposite and you cannot shut me UP! I BUBBLE OVER WITH A CHAMPAGNE GIDDINESS.

Finally got through all the checks and was strutting my way out of Leeds/Bradford (again, the staff there couldn’t have been greater to me. Thank You. Service has been excellent everywhere I’ve been recently?)

I looked down at my phone…

(Whatsapp Msg)

Pitstop Rentals: ‘I’ll be in the carpark in five minutes.’

Then during my plane journey, I’d been thinking about ‘The Swirl’ a lot. Maybe because I was tired and when you are you think of ‘wanting comfort.’ You miss people…

(Whatsapp Msg:)

Me: ‘Hope game day went well babe! I’ve just got off the plane in Leeds. x’

The Swirl: ‘How was ur trip? xx’

Me: ‘Good. Just shattered. I just worked. How was footy?x’

Swirl: ‘We got beat…I got sent off. U doing much tonite? x’

Me: ‘Comfies, relaxing and wine. You? Bet you’re shattered?’

Swirl: ‘Yeah, I am. Nice chilled nite for me tonite too.’

Then I strutted up with my luggage on wheels to the ‘pick up’ stop…A few people were about, chatting to me, waiting around for their mums etc… and a Pregnant girl asked me if I had a lighter!!!!!! (We’re definitely back in Leeds.)

I looked to my right and my driver PITSTOP RENTALS (which is THE BEST chauffeuring service, int he world ever,) was edging up to the curb, in the Range Rover…for pick up.

THANK GOD!!! The car rocked up with a vibe. A hero vibe that saved my soul.

Within seconds, my driver had jumped out of the car, grabbed my bags off me, ignored the folk who were glaring, got me in the car and with the biggest smile and the most STYLISH ATTIRE….SWOOPED me out of Leeds/Bradford airport! It took seconds.

Pitstop Driver: ‘How was it? How did your shoots go?’

Me: ‘It was literally amazing. I don’t think i’ve ever worked as hard though. I can’t even believe I was just there for 2 days for work. I’m SHATTERED.’

Pitstop: ‘You’re  soooo lucky.’

(He always reminds me that I’m lucky when he drives me. And it’s always the people who pass you safely from one destination to another, that have the quiet moments with you…away from ‘the show’ of it all and they remind you that you’re doing great, doing okay and that you’re super dooper lucky.) 

Me: ‘ I look terrible. I look like i’ve been pulled through a bush backwards and run over. I’m so tired’

Pitstop: ‘Well I know you’re hungry…You’ve worked hard. If anything you need to feel cared for and pampered right now. You need to be looked after! Hahah. Why don’t we stop off at the big fish & chip restaurant near the airport…and get something to eat and chill or bit.

Me: ‘PERFECT IDEA! LETS GO. I NEED FOOD, WINE AND A CHILL..’

Within minutes, we had swung through the restaurant door. I’m stood there directly off my Spanish flight, with my driver…and for the next hour we just sat (he moved us to a booth, cos our other table was wibbly lol) and we enjoyed a mixture of starters,  hearty fish and chip dinners, puddings, wines, coffees and banter.’

We chatted about his life and his work.He kept getting calls from ‘the office’ stating that the Lamborghini had a nail stuck in the wheel. Lol. First World Problems!

I chatted about all that I had done in Spain. He gave me pointers. Stuff, I already knew…but needed to hear. I talked about Simone. For some reason we started talking about ‘One Direction?’ (..because his best friend is Zayn Maliks uncle or something?) 

Then after I did a bunch of wine…which sucks if you’re a driver. (He’s also a good friend now.) He drove a very knackered Glamour Puss, back to her digs….on time and with the finest manner.

I STRUTTED UP TO THE DOOR SLOOOOOWLY, CREPT UP THE STAIRS…

AND SURPRISED RUBY AND JUNIOR, (WHO HAD MY FAMILY LOOKING AFTER THEM…)

And with the most excited *SCREECHES,* LAUGHTER, *RUNNING LEAP,* MUMMY CUDDLES and a moment of the most excited madness….Life just made sense again!

Those moments make everything worth it! If you’re a parent…then you get it. You get what i’m saying. I’m working my entire arse off right now and i’m all over the country, all of the time. Yet the most amazing and most fulfilling burst of true love and satisfaction comes, when you walk into the room and their world LIGHTS UP!

Makes my heart BEAM! The moments that matter…I really felt appreciated and sometimes that’s all a girl needs.

Ruby: Mum! Grandma said, a Babarrazi, is it Baba or Papa…was taking pictures of you looking sexy!?!’

Flat Caps, Prosecco & What I Think About Love

I’m totally sat in a quiet bar filled with gentlemen in tweed flat caps and it’s amazing. You know you’re in full blown Yorkshire when that happens and you know that the ‘flat caps’ aren’t bothered about Wunna Land. They just get to tending to their simple, happy, daily routine….Oriental girls who take selfies in dressing rooms, don’t matter, unless she’s buying them an afternoon..

‘Pint of Johns, please..’

I’ve been thinking about love recently. Probably because I’ve been chatting to all my friends, be they near or far… and most of them have chosen a really different existence to mine. I adore that. I love it when people own THEIR VERSION of life.

Everyone’s starting new chapters or relighting old ones, shaking off baggage, for more suited loves and no ones seems to be going ‘solo.’ Everyone seems all loved up. It’s everywhere. It’s everywhere I look…and yes, i think it’s wonderful…BUT…

I’M JEALOUS.

(Bad way to be…)

I love, love…but here I am, sat amongst the ‘flat caps’..in a corner on my laptop…alone…with my prosecco. I’m happy…I am. Who wouldn’t be with a morning prosecco? 😉 But GOSH, i’m ready for a bit of ‘cosy,’ dream come true, perfect kinda love now. I’m 37. Whop on that piece of armour, jump on that stallion and hurry yourself to Wunna Land.

Guy friend Fox: ‘You chose a different kind of life…and well you’re just too picky..’

Me: ‘You probably shouldn’t refer to yourself as not THAT picky when you’re just got engaged. lol’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘You’re picky…I think you’re picky. But I guess…’

Me: ‘No, but obviously I get a lot of love from my socials…but that’s not real…and well, whenever I like someone…they never like me back. Or if I do, we date and then something goes wrong…’

Guy Friend Fox: ‘Do you fancy someone now…?’

Me: ‘Yes…’

Guy Friend Fox: ‘Would they know that….?’

Me: ‘Yes…’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘Then what’s the problem…’

Me: ‘ No problem…I love that you’ve assumed that he must obviously adore me…’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘He must, or he’s blind, his bits don’t work or he has no sense of humour…’

(Lol…You can always count on your girls to make you feel mighty!) 

I kinda like ‘Firmonnell’ more, because she’ll tell it to me straight with a…

‘Cry me a river and all that, Now shut ya face and crack on.’

Yet is exceedingly supportive in all that I do. All of the girls are, Double B, Fairytale, Hustle, Mel, Lady Shizzle…the lot….

But back to lurve…

To me, there are three stages to love (and i’ve nicked this off Ellen Degeneres, my girl crush, who is happily married) …there is ‘HAPPY,’ followed by ‘LOVE...,’ followed by ‘COMPLETION.’

What stage are you at?

We’ve all been happy, we’ve all been in love….yet i’m at a stage where i kinda fancy being someones ‘completion…‘ I fancy that. Doesn’t everyone…? But isn’t that saying we can’t be happy or ‘complete’ by ourselves?

Wait, i’m being ‘negatory.’

We all want different things. We all have a different’ version of ‘completion.’ It’s such a lovely phase. I definitely don’t want to be 72, alone…with all my cats…and no company..and that’s coming from one of the most independent girls, who LOVES HER OWN company.

I’m one to just happily wait around, doing life merrily, making a name, making some money, loving my kids…under the conception that fate will simply throw ‘my hero’ at me… he’ll ‘roddle‘ up from his fall, look toward me and think..

‘AAAAH BLISS. COMPLETION. The only girl I could ever share my entire life with!’

Guy friend Fox: ‘I love how you’ve just read out ‘someone’ like it can be anyone….’

Me: ‘SHUT UP LOL. I’m writing my blog! Get me a drink..’

Chick friend: ‘Do CAREER FIRST Wunna… You could’ve been a star right now, if you didn’t waste previous time on dickheads from 2000 and something past. Total planks. You’ve never been treated well enough.’

Me: ‘Get me a drink.. Ooh, my agent’s Whatsapped me.. And shush, I AM DOING CAREER. I’m loving career. *&&*&*****$£$!!’

Away from all that. I’m excited about life. More good work news came today and I’ve just signed up to THREE MORE collabo’s which you don’t have to worry about, because you will know when WUNNA LAND has shimmied into their world. I also have two more auditions. Good ones….

I currently have my

‘MAKE WUNNA YOUR SCREENSAVER..’

..competition going on. Mainly on my Facebook fanpage. You save me as your phone or laptop screensaver…inbox me the shot and you will recieve a personally photographed and signed photo from me…to you…that no one else will have…

IF YOUR SCREENSAVER MAKES TOMORROWS BLOG…

You will also WIN a VIDEO MESSAGE FROM ME.

I’m loving all the screensavers that are coming in! They’re great and i’m rubbish at running comps and being able to deal with it all. But i want to interact with you all more and bring you into my world. My diary. This diary.

I’m getting lots of SOCIAL LOVE. It is so hard to keep up with all the replying, but i’m trying my best and only replying to my ‘comments’ or any current screensaver inbox pics.

Replying is so difficult when it comes in MASS LOADS, cos part of me can’t find the time…without being on my phone all day…yet that is kinda my job. …so what am I moaning about? Then I don’t want anyone to feel ‘left out,’ so I don’t want to only reply to some and not them all…It’s all very tragic. Lol…

Kinda makes me need prosecco.

But I appreciate the love…

Here are some of the pics you’ve missed, if you haven’t been following my Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter or Instagram…

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One of my good guy friends, who plays,..’London Business Man‘ in this merry little blog, is currently messaging me and giving me a lecture on ‘nudity.’ Followed with a..

‘Listen, I think you look mind blowing. You know that.I completely fancy you.  So I’m not judging you…but…/Don’t even give me the, i’ve got a jumper on line…’

I don’t need a lecture. I’m a grown up. I think my pics are great. I wave the flag for womanhood and for women being MORE CONFIDENT, in ANY WAY WE CHOOSE….And technically, if you can’t see a jumper, then SIR, you are simply BLIND.

LECTURE OVER.

FYI/ Dear any future friends or  ‘Completions…’ You have to be okay with Wunna Land, or I will rebel and not like you.

Hurrah!

Happy Tuesday!

Chrissie! x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friendship, Fights & The Backroom Leeds

Just the most amazing time in the city last night. I cherished, good times. No! Great times…with the people who I will always regard as my absolute closest . (Until I’m a superstar and never speak to them again. 😉 We’re like family and I’ve honestly had a great 2017 because of them.

I love the little swines and i’m really really lucky. I mean, not many people, in my position or way of life have a close bundle of friends, that the can trust and rely on. I do! We’re all really different from one another, yet each add a certain spice to the pot. If you have a problemo, a secret, a love….you’ll know which friend in the group to turn to…and in their own magical way, over cocktails, a cuddle, a whatsapp message, a warm dinner, a new set of heels, or a tissue….they’ll be right by your side, picking up the pieces.

I’m currently in Ego, Ackworth, sat infront of a huge mirror, with a half of Fosters, writing this blog….

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I adore a good mirror seat. One where it looks like I have my back to you, but I can see EVERYTHING.  My vanity gets the better of me. Yes. I’ll admit that. However, I also love the stories that mirrors tell. I’ve watched women with party hats and light up Christmas jumpers wander behind me. Business men. Families. Lone Rangers with quiet pints. Grown adults in weird Elf hats. Girls all a gossiping. And awkward humans on first dates. I love a mirror in the midst of a ‘busy bustle.’ It’s always so magical. Always so glamourous.

But anyway, last night I was out in the city…

As the story goes, the day turned to night. I had had a somewhat stressful day of ‘rushy.’ I HATE RUSHING. I’m a glamour puss. I do things in my own manner, with my own panache and at my own pacing. Not yesterday though. Fuck. I dashed to three cities, running errands, doing meetings, making sure Ruby & Junior were enjoying every inch of their Christmas holidays. I had a deadline. I needed to be ready. Then after the fastest totter, a warm bath, placing my phone on charge and a slip into my silver sequinned dress from the Kourtney Kardashian line for Pretty Little Thing….I dashed out the door, twinkled through the night sky, jumped in a taxi..

Driver: ‘I’m sure I’ve driven you around before. I remember your voice.’

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And Whatsapped ‘Double B’ with a…

‘I’m 3 mins away from yours…’

We drank wine out the bottle, all the way to ‘Firmonnells,’

Double B: ‘How many people do you reckon you’ve slept with?’

Me: ‘Why are they like cardboard cut outs?’

Double B: ‘They’re just Vanilla..’

(I once referred to one of my exes as ‘vanilla.’ He was in a boyband and I’d just come off a tv show for ITV2.  To this day he says I apparently broke his heart? However, surely if you say ‘I don’t want us to be together anymore Chrissie because I’m gay’ that would mean that no hearts were broken in the process. Well, maybe my heart? 😉

He said he loved me madly, yet never messaged me when we broke up because he didn’t know what to say. I just took that as ‘oh he doesn’t care’ and I was fine with that. You can’t MAKE someone love you. You can MAKE someone care about you. Yet ‘true love’ is a whole different potion. If they feel you in their spirit….they will always find their way back to you.

Yiddley Doooooooo!

Anyway, Double B and I apologized to the driver for making him listen to our sexy girl banter AAALLLLLL the way to ‘Firmonnells.’ Yet he assured us he LOVED IT.

Driver: ‘It’s made my night girls.’

We were joined by ‘Fairytale Blond’ and a bit of ‘Mama Sally.’ We did wee’s, drank prosecco, borrowed jackets, exchanged gold clutches and found ourselves on our way to Leeds city centre…our city….yet via THE SINGLE MOST AMAZING train station ever. I’ve never travelled from Garforth before. THEY SERVED BOTTLE PROSECCO, IN BOUJI PLASTIC CHAMPAGNE FLUTES, THROUGH A WINDOW ON THE ACTUAL PLATFORM!!! I know!!! It’s absolute BLISS! All you have to do is buy a bag of crisps with it (because you are only allowed booze with food) and you’re plain sailing and en route to Leeds, with a happy prosecco jiggle.

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With our drinks, in our dresses, with our heels in place and whilst the girls decided to MAKE FUN of my WONDERFUL peacock phone cover.

Double B: ‘What the fuck is that!!’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s fucking horrible.’

Me: ‘SHUT UP! The loveliest phone man gave it to me FOR FREE today, for a selfie, you dicks! I love it!!’

(It’s a golden peacock with diamante studs and multi coloured gems scattered throughout its tail. Lol I actually really do LOVE IT. They despise it and think it looks tacky, because they’re ‘haters’ and can’t handle my glamourisms. They even made a guy on the train tell me that he hated it too! Haha! What dicks)

Anyway within a second we pulled into Leeds, they’re all running like wild women to meet the rest of the group, and i’m trying to catch up, as i’m spilling my prosecco all over me and some guy in a hat with chatting to me about…can’t even remember really? If Santa was a chimney sweeper, it would be him. He was lovely!

Long story short. All met up at a train station bar…who wouldn’t let everyone in because they had reached capacity. It was THAT BUSY. The rest of the girls joined the group and the boys joined us also. Then through the busy city streets, we all walked up ‘hand in hand’ to Backroom Leeds, as ‘Firmonnell’ and I tried to decide if we were actually lesbians?

Me: ‘But I really DO fancy Ellen Degeneres.’

Firmonnell: ‘But what about when you need a penis in you after they’ve…’

The Backroom was great! It’s a small decadent, ‘speakeasy’ bar on Call Lane. Plays the best music. Has a private outdoor terrace. And we had the whole downstairs floor/bar, to ourselves, as our own. It was just for us, our whole group and that was that.

The night was AMAZING.

Slowly but surely, everyone we knew trickled in, piece by piece, a wink at time, the boys in shirts, the girls in short dresses and heels. We love to glam it up…so each ‘trickle’ was dressed to the nines, straight to the bar and with ‘good time’ glint in their eyes. It’s always great when it’s just us, because anything goes, no one will judge and we can all pretty much surrender to the art of celebrating life, the year and friendship….. in the most pissed fashion, forget to eat the yummiest finger food and with all the free drinks that our tokens will allow us.

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We danced, we flirted, we booty popped, we ‘dutty wined,’ we let loose, we turned wild, we snapchatted, we kissy cheeked, we all thought we were sexier than we probably were and we DRANK….we fucking DRANK! Hustle Barbie fell on the floor AGAIN…took ‘Fairytale’ and ‘Double B’ with her. Lol

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Hustle Barbie: ‘It’s my new thing.’

Cuddles and kisses and sequins and hip hop tracks.

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Mood lighting, shots, hair tosses and fresh air terraces.

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Gossips, lies, drama and whispers….

At one point i think my whole entire top fell down for a second, due my excessive booty dance routine. I have no booty, so I have to really work at the back shimmie. Caused boobies to fall out because my dress was too big…Nobody cared. They loved it.

Me: ‘What! It’s because i’m a VEGGIE NOW. I’ve lost weight, but it’s come off my FLIPPING BOOBS!’

Webbo & Jonsez & Dipper & New Boys! They were all really lucky, because we chicas has already hit ‘good time’ and wine bottles, so like props we used the boys for flirts and dance floor swizzles. Hot new faces kept appearing out of nowhere. I backed up and a hot face was behind me. I walked forward and another new hot face greeted me. I even got a cheeky bum grab. (I love a bum grab at 30 something. It’s naughty. It’s fun. It’s a good way to get me to notice you….and he was REALLY HOT. Super handsome.)

Lots of ‘Hollyoaks’ style drama occurred last night. It went from whisper to whisper, to confrontations, to verbal fights. It went from learnt lessons, to hearts breaking, to no judgements and personality clashes. It went from stories told, to secrets revealed and tests of friendships and truth telling.

‘You can sleep with who you want to sleep with. I don’t give a shit! Own it.’

‘Why is she blanking me. I haven’t done anything wrong.’

‘This is ridiculous!’

‘Yeah…I already knew that. We all did!’

‘I just love her and I don’t stand a fucking chance.’

‘Just stay away from me. Don’t come near me. What do you think you’re…’

‘Who told you that??’

‘You need to man up…’

‘You else do you fancy?’

‘He’s done now…’

‘I’m leaving. This is fucked up.’

‘If she comes up to me again, whilst i’m trying to talk to you…I’m gonna..’

‘Don’t judge people on shit…Whocares..’

‘I can’t deal with this. Do you want a shot?’

‘She won’t even speak to me now.’

‘I don’t care what you’ve done…’

‘You’re beautiful. Am I stalking you?’

‘This is the last time i’ve ever going to get to dance with you…’

‘You’re new. You’re hot. Are you on Insta?’

‘Who does she think she is!!!’

‘How is this ALL MY FUCKING FAULT.’

[Echo….Echo…Echo….Echo….]

*STOP*

And even though all of the snippets above occurred, this is what I noticed…I noticed that  every single one of us were close. That every single one of us chose to prioritise ‘good times’ over drama. We danced, we laughed, we gave zero fucks. I noticed that in the end, enjoying our friendships with each other, is what we chose to make matter…and THAT is what makes us a family. (Moderately dysfunctional…but s….we’re fly. 😉 )

The clock struck 3am. Time flew by us. We didn’t even realise how fast it has flown!

‘AS IF IT’S 3AM!!! WTF!’

‘Don’t leave…come back..’

‘Come to Fibre with me…’

‘Get in my Uber.’

‘Don’t leave me..’

I had stayed in the private section at Backroom ALL NIGHT, so I didn’t actually realise how busy the place has got upstairs. I walked up to the open air terrace holding Double B’s hand…and it was RAMMED. It was MENTAL.

A guy stopped me with a,

‘Are you Chrissie Wooonaaa?’

‘Yeah…yeah…why?’

‘Do you remember me…?’

‘Jake?’

(I didn’t know if it was Jake… 🙂 )

Yet the crowd took us into different directions and as I sat on the terrace, chatting to ‘Double B,’ under the night stars…(I’m doing a lot of the night stars of recent, aren’t I..)

I watched Jonesez look at me, with all the heartbreak of the world in his eyes…as he stood up off, from the side of the terrace and walked away slowly, with his head all a muddle….

It snowed today…which means there’s magic in the air….

All I know about life is that there are MORE UPS, than there are downs. More GOOD TIMES, than there are bad. And that ANYTHING can happen in a moments wink of an eye….Dreams come true. Life is only has hard as you make it.

It’s the ones of us who can ‘surf that crest.’ The ones of us who stand by what we love and believe is right, for OUR OWN VERSION of existence that get the most out of the world and what’s on offer.

I’ll remember these people for the rest of my life….

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In FIVE DAYS….FOR ME…..

EVERYTHING CHANGES…..

Chrissie x

 

Love, Lattes & Chicks Who Tongue Dogs…

Woke up this morning with the blistering sunlight shining through my window, with all a calm breeze and peace as my bestie…I stretched…I kitty yawned and just like that BOOM! Bustle, door knocks, headsets, clipboards, fidgets, schedules and that darling bit of happy ‘rush rush.’ (Which i hate. I hate RUSHING. When you rush, you mess things up. I’m a glamour puss. I like to do things in an orderly glamourous fashion.)  It only lasted a good jolly moment…then once again everything went back to calm, back to normal and I could continue sipping my green tea latte. (Which is my favourite latte in all the land. I used to get one every morning in LA, on 3rd and La Cienega, unless I was on a diet, then i’d flirt with an Americano with skimmed instead.)

Sorry….i’ve just got distracted after watching a snapchat of a guy (i know his sister closely) line out 20 chicken nuggets on his mates drive for hangover kicks and type out a mini news report afterward. Lol I’m enthralled. I love it! Hahah. But anyway…

You all zoned in on the fact that I stated that my love life wasn’t rubbish yesterday, didn’t ya! I scrolled through messages galore from people all over the world either cheering me on, or tinkering for me details? When it comes to love, I’ve never got it right, have I? Yet, that’s because i’ve Mambo’ed into everything head first, twirling madly, in red dresses and sequins, with ‘cha cha’ arms (don’t actually know what arms they are) and with everything crossed. And don’t get me wrong, it’s always great to feel ‘crazy’ about someone (that’s what passion is and if you don’t have it, your soul needs a tequila to wake you up and smell the limes,) yet the ‘crazy’ is what you feel initially….We all love the ‘swirl,’ the initial attraction…the ‘ooh laa’ as I like to call it….Yet, the real love comes after….when time has passed, you’ve learnt about one another and you’ve only just realised how much time you’ve invested in a person because it’s breezed by so merrily…

Real love comes (that love that people say has been written about for centuries) when a true friendship has been formed, one of loyalty and trust, that has been built upon slowly, where you share laughter, secrets, respect and support. When you can look at that person and know that no matter what they’ll always be there…because they always have. To me…that’s what real love is. A best friend…that you do ‘non friend zone‘ like things with. 😉

Having gotten love wrong for so many glamourous decades…YIPPPEEEE (again doesn’t make me a hideous person, it’s simply just my story, it’s actually empowered me more than I ever thought it would,) I THINK, that no one in this entire world understands love more than I do, right now. I do get nervous. I do get frightened. I do things wonderfully. I do things badly. It’s normal. I’m certainly not all sass, i’m quite an affectionate soul…and yeah like anyone, I don’t fancy feeling love in order to maybe get hurt, right? Especially not at thirty something. That doesn’t make us weak, it kinda just makes us human. It’s not the right way to move forward. So I’m always open hearted regardless…as my confidence out weighs my moments of terror…and just incase i have to encounter a sassy bit of heartbreak again in the future …I KNOW THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. 🙂 Plus, I have loads of great alcoholic chick friends who will buy me cocktails to make me feel better..and then make fun of me for being a tool.

I’m an life soldier…but a happy one. And I am 100 percent confident that one day (even though i’ve had decades of being unlucky in love) i’ll make someone really happy forever. Forever being the key word…as I have made people briefly happy… Lol. I actually said this to my chick friend Lana (she’s strange and tongues dogs)..

Me: ‘What! I’ve got it in me….’

Lana: ‘What, like silicone?’

Me: ‘Yes. Actually. Please stop tonguing that dog near my Gucci Bamboo Top Handle.’

Lana: ‘It’s weird because you’re a sweetheart but everyone who doesn’t know you thinks you’re a dickhead. Hahaha. I know you’ve got it in you…’

Me: ‘Well, I wouldn’t say it, if I didn’t know it was true. It’s not like i’m sat here saying, hey yeah…i’d make a really great roller booting astronaut…cos i’d know i’d be shit at that.’

Lana: ‘There’s no such thing as that, idiot. What if Mr. Whoever has a shit willy..’

Me: ‘He doesn’t have a shit willy. Stop tonguing that fucking dog!! Honestly. It’s sick. No wonder you’re divorced.’

Lana: ‘You can’t talk…You better get used to having to tongue pets now that you’ve got Rocco…’

Me: ‘Eww! Rocco’s bouji. He’s not average like your pet. Lol. He’s an ‘IT’ kitten. He’s swag. He’s part of Wunna land. I have a whole online patch of land. You’re living it right now & you don’t even know. It’s like a glittery Matrix.’

Lana: ‘You’re such a big headed twat.’

Right, I need to head off quickly…and enjoy the rest of my chills. I have the Yorkshire chills to get back to and enjoy…I’m slightly confused at how grown my children have become. It’s weird. How the hell have I managed to raise them?

I’m also missing all my girls! Firmonnell, Fairytale, Hustle Barbie, Double B, Mel and Lady Shiz. I did actually wake up, thousands of miles away from them, look down at my phone and read a stream of whatsapp messages that kinda really upset me. Lots has happened and it was kinda weird because it’s not really something that I would be upset by…Yet reading the stream and realizing how much of a team we were, no matter where we were in the world or what we were doing….or whatever shit life through at us…kinda made me smile! I love being part of a team. We have each other’s back no matter what. I always wonder what we’ll all be doing in the next five years…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Ticket To Dullsville

So I spent my first half of Tuesday with one of my chick besties ‘Firmonnell.’ I kinda tottered down the street, in my giant Cruella Deville faur fur, (it wasn’t Dalmatian…it was ‘Little Mistress,’) as she began to pretend that I lived in a caravan and I convinced her that she was pregnant. Lol. It’s how we roll. This was after talks of Prosecco and periods. I get carried away with baby talk, it fills me with excitement. I sizzle over with an utter flourish of ‘ooh laa.’ To me, nothing is more fulfilling than creating humans..Y’know, little ‘Mini Me’s.’ However,  Firmonnell…well… she pretends she hates it. She doesn’t hate it. She just…well… she just hates it. 🙂

We laughed all the way to Wakefield and guided each other to appropriate parking spots…where parking meters didn’t work.

Firmonnell: ‘As if you’ve made me park this far away.’

Me: ‘It’s just around here somewhere?’

Firmonnell: ‘You don’t know where we are, do you?’

Me: ‘It’s by the Bull Ring, or something? What if we take this shortcut? Lol.’

Lots of things happened on Tuesday. It felt fun! It started off with a whatsapp message that made me smile. When you get a good message to start your day, it kinda sets the tone, doesn’t it. It makes the rest of your day that little bit rosier.

There were moments where mini prosecco bottles were guzzled in carparks, in the style of ‘bouji pirates.’Times when ‘Double B’ referred to males as a ‘pink whisky faces.’ Sweeps of time, where in which we watched young girls perform dance routines, by bundles of straw, to Beyonce remixes. (We could’ve shown them how it SHOULD be done.) There was laughter. Good times. Infact, I might have had a weird conversation with a girl, about how they talk to plants to make them grow. Then finally…after my brain had fried itself with hard work..

‘I swear I was built for pleasure and not such mental labour…’

…I got home to the babies and indulged in an early night and WHAT IS BETTER, than an ‘early night’ when you really really need one!

IT WAS BLISS.

TODAY…was boring as hell. Lol. Fucking boring.

It was one of those days, where there’s zero excitement, not juice and no ‘ooh laa’ in sight. One of those days where you scroll through your emails, check your messages, look around you…and everything is simply so beige, it’s dull. Lol. There was no magic in the air. Everything was still. I couldn’t even call the day ‘vanilla,’ as even that would give it a flavour. Now, I’m a positive soul by nature and if i can’t roll a turd in glitter, then NO ONE CAN.

What was today!!!

If i hate anything…I hate dull. I hate ‘still.’ I’m a fast mover. I’m not a patient person. I yearn for excitement, I look for it and enjoy it. I adore buzzy bits of happiness. I live for them, they feed my kitten soul. I don’t know whether it’s because i’m a fire sign or an idiot? Yet either way, I LOVE to feel excited. I love to feel surprised. I love a bit of sassy banter. In work, I smile at a sense of achievement. In love, I love to feel adored. I I love everything that makes me radiate. That’s when any human is at their most powerful.

Today was boring. Haha!

The only exciting parts where the moments where in which I witnessed two of my friends, kinda weirdly ‘fall’ for each other with the most cutest innocence. They’ve decided to go on a date. It made me smile. It’s cute!

I did also watch a video where in which someone batted a tennis ball with a willy. Not by choice. Maybe by choice? Who knows?  It was hilarious, nonetheless. Who knew anyone could do that?

There was also a moment where in which my chicks friends decided to compare the worst looking guys they’ve ever been with. Lol. That certainly passed some time. It soon went back to boring.

Then ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I decided that we were emotionally needy (lol) and had brief chats on how guys were so different to girls. We’re both really different girls, yet both really similar when it comes to love and expression.

The day turned to night…It’s finally turned to night (Boooooooooyaaaaaaah) and all I can say, as i chill on my pretty flamingo sheets is..

‘Cya Wednesday…You were dull.’

Let’s hope tomorrow is glistened over with magic.

Send me excitement…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I did Issho & East 59th Bar

Firmonnell: ‘ I wish you would stop spraying that fucking awful spray. It makes you smell like an old lady…a nan….I hate it. I hate it when you spray it. Fucking stop.’

Me: ‘Just because you’ve said that, i’m going to spray it continually to wind you up.’

Firmonnell: (Who remembered to change her knickers this time) ‘Well I hope it RUNS THE FUCK OUT.’

That was yesterday! Well aside from the inbetween bits where ‘Double B’ did nothing but swear repeatedly due to stress. She did it in a Vogue ‘top knot.’ The ‘top knot’ always makes her feel angst. I wore flats….my wonky feet felt like bliss after a Sunday of utter enjoyment in the sun on every roof top terrace bar, in Leeds that would have me.

Leeds is CRAZY right now for new great spots. It’s flourishing with class, style, life and business….and as a blogger….it smells like fun, it’s smells like content and certainly smells like money.

Anyway, I’ve been dying to try out the new Issho restuarant in Leeds. I adore everything chilled, stylish, beautiful and Japanese, so to this me sounded like bliss. I never had time because time kept being scheduled up! But I have time now! So why not right?

Inadequate Chris (who won the ‘Best Newcomer on Snapchat ‘award…remember that we have a video collabo shortly. Take yourself back to when we did coffee at La Bottega Milanese..) well he surrendered to a bottomless brunch at Issho…and as we discussed work, life and lessons…we were greeted by gentle kind smiles, the most impeccable service and the most beautifully creative food and drinks…in the sun.

Even the walk through Victoria Gate to the restuarant was delightful. I had to sit outside some bakery and change my flats to heels, as they rubbed. I also smelt a bit like German sausage, as they had some steamy market on outside Harvey Nics…where German sausages where being cooked on the street, next to a woman begging me to promote her new Opticians outside Michael Kors. ( I didn’t. I’m a Specsavers Girl. I also felt rough. AND, well…isn’t there a fee? *Wiggle..wink.* 

Anyway, like I said, the walk up to the restuarant was a calming joy, as I slowly tottered up the most architecturally grand and elegant stairway then took a lift to the kori bar on the 3rd floor.

The service in that place is untouchable. It’s great.

Me: ‘I’d like a cocktail that’s pretty please.’

Waitress: ‘I can absolutely recommend one for you…’

Me: ‘No, I want one with flowers in it…’

Chris: ‘We’ll just get the pretty Bellini and the other Japanese cocktail.’

Me: ‘I totally came across as high maintenance then, when i meant to come across as low maintenance. HAHAH. Just any pretty one is fine.’

Then we started chatting about his tragic love life, which he’s told me not to tell you about…so obviously i’m unable to spill the sake. UGH! And it’s so juicy tooo! (Boys. *Rolls Eyes.*) But yes, his love life is quite complex. However, I liked hearing the stories, as i got to sit back in my little red dress and gloat, whilst blurting out inappropriate blunt bits of HONESTY…

Me: ‘WHAT??? IT’S THE FUCKING TRUTH!’

Chris: ‘I like hanging out with you…you literally just tell it to me straight.’

Then we went bonkers and he ordered the bottomless brunch which was the most beautiful looking brunch I had ever seen. I actually didn’t order the brunch and instead ordered the ‘Prosecco Free Flow.’ (For two hours straight and for £15 you are poured unlimited prosecco until you cannot see. It’s a marvel and done with such panache. They don’t even wait until you’ve finished your glass, as soon as it looks like you need a top up, BOOM, there they are with your bubbles.)

I saw staff walk by with precious bowls of the most creative looking fresh Japanese delights ever. It was absolute bliss.

Me: ‘I want a Japanese house and a Japanese Zen Garden and a Japanese Roof Terrace and a Japanese Chef. NOW!’

Chris: ‘I don’t know what’s happened, but i feel really really pissed now. ‘

More talk of work, collaborations and his tragic love life (that i’m not allowed to tell you about) were discussed. It’s hard isn’t it, as over the past few months, he hasn’t really dedicated himself to being some kind of future ‘Social Star’ due to his rocky love tale. I guess this is why picking a great partner for you matters. Everyone’s version of perfect is different. So as long as you pick a girl or guy, who is on the same wave length, when it comes to love, life, friendship, beauty, sex, work and commitment…then you’re dandy. The best partners will bring out the best in you. They’ll love and support you madly and you’ll never have to prompt them to love you the exact way you always wished for. They just know how. (It’s all that wedding talk at Piccolino that must have got to me. Lol. But yes, i’d be quite happy to be settling down now…To me togetherness is bliss. People often never think that of me…but i’m a love bunny. I’m quite traditional when it comes to true love. I just play it sassy. 😉 )

But anyway, I’m not really going to go on about my love life….yet.

*She changes the subject*

On the whole, in all areas right now, I feel quite lucky right now. Infact, right now I AM the luckiest girl in the entire world. I don’t even know what’s happened to me over the last few weeks, (probably My Mother Feng Shui’s my house,) but all this lucky shit keeps flowing into Wunna Land like the Issho Prosecco free pours???? I can’t even believe it? I definitely deserve it. 🙂 Good things happen to good people. I live by that! IT’s TRUE!

Anyway after the most magical time at Issho, I decided that we tinker next door to the brand new East 59th bar next door. It’s the new trendy New York style restaurant and roof terrace bar in Leeds and in the sunshine, it was GREAT! The DJ was playing, the cocktails where are delight and as I sat down in the sun with my raspberry infused drinky poos, I looked around me and the ‘Bustle’ in the place was divine. It almost made you feel as though you were on holiday. There’s even an open air bar, surrounded by stylish humans. The atmosphere was great for a stop off, but I need to go again, as we did only tinker in for a chilled drink.

I’m actually going to do both places again at some point….I want lunch at Issho and the bottomless Bloody Mary’s and food at  East 59th bar. I couldn’t of had a more chilled Sunday. It was wonderful.

Right, i’ve got to go. I’ve got a lot on today. I have some exciting things happen in work and again it’s not for ears to hear yet. But it’s exciting! I’m in Yorkshire all week, aside from Thursday when I have to head to London for a day of filming, but that will bring me straight back to Doncaster by 9pm…so it’ll all be in a days work.

YET, last night, I sent someone love via Whatsapp and I found out some news, only little news that would mean so much tome and maybe not so much to you, but it made me beam with excitement. I was literally jumping around my room. I couldn’t even believe it. But it’s made me believe in fate and also made me appreciate the Speedo Spoof Video that he sent me to the Despacito song.

 

When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’ and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ 😉 Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. 🙂 )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it.  I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. 🙂 I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. 🙂

Speak soon,

Chrissie x