When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’ and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ 😉 Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. 🙂 )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it.  I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. 🙂 I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. 🙂

Speak soon,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shooting Blanks…..

Hi, you darling beasts of life! I’ve had an amazing day, just ‘hokey cokeying’ to my own version of life, with a smile on my face and a giddiness in my heart. I haven’t got anything but soul today and boy does it feel good.

‘Double B’ finally got her first house today and ‘Fairytale Blond’ officially moved in with her Prince Jonny. Everyone’s falling in love right before my very eyes…I mean look at Mel and ‘Her Gary.‘ And ‘Firmonnell’ and Lynne with their ‘love at first sight’ marriages.

And then there’s me….

Well i’ll tell you, that my ‘swirl’ has made me feel GREAT. I’m excited to get my little kitty hands on what i will refer to as MINE 🙂 and keep my little kitty heart open. It’s weird because i’m sensual and bubbled over with sexuality by nature, yet soft by heart…so i’m gentle when it comes to the art of romance. I never understand it when people are incapable to just love or express love? I find it odd? As I’m the complete opposite. So, yeah.. I don’t have that problem…YIPPEEE and well my ‘swirl,‘ who makes me *BEAM* (WHAT A MAN) and  zooms me into light years of giddiness…doesn’t either. We can chat about anything, anytime and always. It’s easy. To me, in my life….that’s vital. He just has this remarkable ability to make me feel so happy and excited without trying.

But that’s not what this blog is about…

This blog is about filling in the blanks…You’re all asking me a bunch of questions that I can’t at all get through because they’re coming into my inbox, like little greedy hobbits on happy pills. I’ve been doing blog promo all morning and so I figured that I’d *jiggly* out the answers to all your questions, in one merry *shoot out.*

Let’s go…I’ll fill in the blanks

My favourite thing to snack on…….is always something savory over something super sweet. I’ll munch through a bag of crisps before i’d ever contemplate a choccie bar. But i’m known to enjoy a wasabi pea nibble and I always chew gum. All of the time. 

When I workout, .………I never workout. I hate working out. I should work out. I just don’t have it in me. I’m naturally active anyway and well it seems to burn the cocktails off. 😉 

The funniest piece of lingerie I own……….I adore themed outfits and I LOVE a bit of ‘dress up’ in the bedroom. It’s fun. It’s sexy. Yet, the funniest piece of lingerie I own, is a ribbon stringed, crotchless thong…THAT HAS A BOBBLY BUNNY TAIL SEWN ON IT. Lol. I haven’t worn it yet. But well, who knows when i might need to bunny hop onto a willy in a moment of passion? Why am I a tool???

My favourite type of music…..I love all music. I usually play what’s currently on the radio. I fancy a bit of motown, pop, hip hop…I love a bit of a singalong and a dance off on most occasions.

I definitely love…..DRINKING.

To unwind I………..always want a MASSAGE. GOD! They are my favourite. Give me one…and i’ll adore you. Unless you’re that horrid crazy Chinese woman in Camden who tried to kill me to pan pipe music with a smile on her face and a really boney elbow. You’re a bitch. 🙂 

Party or Chill?………………..CHILL. I love to feel relaxed. Yet I love a cocktail bar….and I’ll stay out and have a blast. But you’d never find me trailing around a club at 7am in the morning, praying for a kebab with my heels in my hand. I’d rather be waking up at that time and being spooned by a Knight in shining armour, who’s telling me to make him a brew.

The worst thing about me…………I can be an ego maniac…but i’m soft.

Best thing about me…….I’m playful. I’m positive. I’m funnier than you think. I love a laugh. 

Favourite Makeup……….Estee Lauder.

I also love……Surprises.

I don’t like.……..Bad manners

I do like.…….Luxury

This year….I’ll smash my career and stilleto stamp my mark in cyberland.

This year……..I hope to fall madly in love and have that other human feel the same way also. 

The most inaccurate statement ever made about me..……..Well…most of it’s true. But i’m a grown up now. Lol.

Ps/ Whatsapp from Mel..

‘You missed a good one for the blog today. I told Dipper that he looked like Mr Bean. He said he always gets called that and he can ALSO DO THE DANCE. LOL!!!!!!!’

 

We Should ALL Send More Flowers

I’m shattered! It’s a good shattered. But oh my pansies, I need a trip to the forest, to chill in a champagne twinkled hot tub, away from ‘the bustle’ of ‘all sorts‘ where I can just work quietly and do the things that I love, without drowning in my OWN freshly created work load. Lol. Becareful what you wish for, as you just might get it dolls! 😉 I just need peace and what could be better than the ‘hidden away in a the calming depths of the forest’ effect ..AWW! That would be BLISS.

I’m doing well. I’m doing really well. Yet, my mind is really busy. I’m almost doing too much for me to handle by myself now. Part of me thinks that I can’t juggle it, but my drive just tells me that I can…and I end up doing it anyhow. But gosh, THANK GOD FOR GIN AND COCKTAILS….I love you like I love Jimmy Choos, Diamonds and Sausage Sandwiches. 😉

I’m in a giant work swirl. It’s madness and on overload. I told you i’m shattered. But i’m a really lucky girl, as I have brands campaigns, collabos, marketeers. agents and all sorts flying in with opportunities galore right now. Well I always say I’m ‘lucky’ because i’m grateful for any person, who sits in their office and just has a…

 ‘Hey, that Chrissie Wunna, she’s amazing, let’s work with her,’ moment.

Yet if i’m being honest, i’ve worked my kitten SOCKS OFF for those moments to occur…I’ve been up since five o clock this morning, I’ve worked all day and i’ll be up until the early hours still smashing out press releases, potential business proposals, whilst replying to all that is incoming. (Thank you for all the incoming opportunities. I honestly appreciate it madly.)

Do know that all this is at the same time as being ‘Mum.’ I LOVE BEING MUM and I make sure that I have those simple moments every day, where in which I can keep grounded and still be in touch with life. The people who get lost in the work swirl, lose their soul. They forget their purpose and you can see it in their work, their manners, their blogs, vlogs and all sorts. You can see it in their eyes, their smile, their mind.

I’m lucky because i’m surrounded by great people every day who keep my glittery soul alive, BUT REAL. Lol. There’s no ‘pampering of the star’ as I like to call it in Wunna land. Hahah! I mean for fucks sake ‘Take Me Out Nick,’ (he’s pretty much one of my besties, even though he keeps offering me imaginary cups of tea, maybe his body and can’t be home when he tells me to pop over,) certainly referred to me as a ‘gimp’ today…and I’m definitely sure that ‘Double B’ told me to ‘fuck off’ just because I looked at her. 🙂

Yet at the same time, other humans (who are just as ace) called me things like ‘beautiful’ and ‘thoughtful’ which again reminds me that I’m not an absolute buffoon after all. 😉  I sent a girl (well it was Katie at Social Chain) flowers the other day, to thank her for being so lovely to me..and she received them yesterday, on International Women’s Day, with a message that read,

‘It’s the smallest things that make a girl smile” Thank you for having me. Love you, Chrissie x  www.chrissiewunna.com’

And I didn’t do the standard ‘call the flower shop, at the last minute’ bouquet thing. (Even though I love that too 🙂 because it’s the easiest way to get yourself out of trouble in an emergency. Are you listening boys???)  I went with my favourite flower delivery service ‘Bloom & Wild’ and because nothing is more delightful to me than hand picked, fresh cut flowers, that are specifically chosen for the person in question, boxed up and presented beautifully with grace, love and thoughtfulness. To me, it is the most simple, yet elegant way to say ‘Thank you’ and I personally think that MORE girls should be delivered surprise flowers. People don’t seem send flowers enough these days, do they? I want to see more of it in 2017.

I love great people and I love brands and ideas that are ‘old school’ with a champagne misted twisted of modern… I share them an awful lot with others. Pretty much because brands of that sort represent who I am.

Anyway…

I really wanted Katie to be sat at her desk, at work in Manchester and to ‘out of the blue’ recieve a surprise box that contained my fresh cut flower choices, for her and not just to say ‘thank you’ but to also make her smile at the same time…That’s what Girl Power is about.

She Tweeted me earlier this afternoon to thank me and as I read the Tweet out to ‘Hot Sarah’ (whilst complaining because someone had dropped cookies all around me) it genuinely made me happy just knowing that I made her smile. Even for just five seconds, she would’ve have cut away from her own version of work day ‘bustle’ to simply feel a moment of extra appreciation. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

More people should send people flowers. It’s lovely.

Right, it’s 10.30pm and I have what feels like a 100 emails to send out before I can actually get some shut eye. So I’m pouring a gin and tonic and getting on with it.

I forgot to tell you that ‘London Business Man’ (who I whatsapp weekly, we’re good friends now) had a car crash and ended up in hospital. He lost control of his car on the M1 and crashed into everything, as his car swirled around and smashed his head into windows. I’m in SHOCK. I can’t believe that happened!!! Yet he’s on the mend. I should send him rum.

‘Eton Mess’ (who is lovely, but I haven’t chatted to him in months) has found himself in The Maldives…He’s a natural adventurer and well one minute he was in Manchester, coming out of a stressful time romantically and the next minute he was enjoying life the way he always wanted to, swinging from palm trees and bathing in the sun.

You never know where life is going to take you….but enjoy it! I always always say …that I never know exactly what’s going to happen to me…All I do know is that it’s something wonderful.

 

 

 

Hotel Nights, Manchester & Wine Drizzles

God! I didn’t have chance to blog last night, as I had made the executive decision to have a few ‘fun gins.’ FUN gins, are different to PROPER ALCHY gins because you’re smiling as you’re doing it and performing pop songs in your bedroom mirror like YOU ARE ‘Little Mix’ and not rocking slowly, in some lonely corner listening to sad love songs…crying. Now that I’m wiser, I never blog after ‘fun gins.’ 🙂 So i just did the obvious….and with privacy on my mind, I gracefully posted a selfie on EVERY social media platform available to me (lol) and then went to bed.

I’m quite knackered, but again feeling all positive about it, as I’ve had an eventful week. I can’t even believe it’s Friday today! It’s flown by and ofcourse it’s been filled with excitement. My Manchester trip to see Steven Bartlett at Social Chain has seemed to have caused excitement in your ever so ‘social’ lives. I have ‘Thank you for having me’ gifts headed their way…because honestly…my time there was phenomenal, yet i’d also like to thank YOU for taking the time to watch the Vlog, read my post …and ‘like’ everything about it. It’s YOU that make our Cyberland world’s ‘worth’ anything.

But gosh, anyway, after my meeting, I headed back to my hotel for a quick drink to calm my excitement. I was in the hotel bar, chilling in my faux fur…people were glaring at me, apart from this couple you were laid on the bouji sofa booths of this hotel bar, snogging and feeling each other up. Lol. I accidentally made eye contact with the female counterpart of this team and GOD, with a 42 year old stagger and a wine bottle in her hand (note…she was a 42 year old, who looked 27) she took it upon herself to come see me. Lol.

She was THE MOST DRUNK GIRL, I have ever met. Yet, there was something lovely about her and that ‘lovely’ was simply the fact that she kept shouting out loud, around the bar, in her very Scouse accent

‘You’re so beautiful! You’re boss you. I love you! Y’know, I love you! You look like JLo.Can I sit with you! Can you fuck your next meeting off so we an go to the toilet and do…’

It kinda got a bit ‘loooong’ even though she was trying to be lovely and in those situations, I’m soft…so i’ll watch and laugh along and get that she’s drunk….BUT I had people coming to meet me…so I kinda waited until they got there and slide off without her realizing. The great thing about that lady, was that she made me feel so squeaky lean and sober. Lol. She ended up losing her coat and her ‘fella,’ who she had been dating for 4 months after meeting him in Benidorm. To be fair, they were both hot….but just pissheads.

The night ended up being magical and very Manchester, as I swanned off to Neighbourhood (a bouji celeby haunt) for red, red wine and Spicy Tuna Hand rolls. TEAM ASIA.

My world was moonlit by this point, it was chilly but ‘wine’ warm. I felt like letting a little lose as I had such a surreal afternoon, that I needed a drink. I was joined by Cheshire Liz, who had emailed me months ago, I think in November, to get to meet me and I never got around to it. SO, (and this is what I love about her) she took it upon HERSELF to find me and meet me. I like that! She was just so much fun! She was glamourous, she started a blog last year, she loves a bit of Chrissiewunna.com, so she also has excellent taste and she’s ballsy. BUT SHE WAS DRIVING… SO HAD WATER! Lol Water! Water! Everywhere water! *Weep here*

As we walked into Neighbourhood it was..

*PAP, PAP*, PAP,PAP*, …as ‘Aaron the pap’ was waiting outside, to catch celebs on their way out.

So we ‘picture took’ and then he joined us for food. Sat behind us was a couple of drunky ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ chicks and THEN some random guy, who we thought was someone famous….

Aaron swears it’s the guy that Chesire liz has on her phone…so being the ‘big balls’ that she is, she struts straight over and asks him if its him, because she was going to the charity football match that he was playing in…AND IT FUCKING WASN’T.

HAHAHAHAH! I nearly died with laughter. I am not ballsy at all when it comes to things like that. I’d DIE before i would pluck up the courage to go up to a stranger or celeb and chat to them, because they’d reject me and i’d hate that. Lol. I only lie it when people come up to me and adore me. 🙂

She tottered back to the table to eat her mushrooms with an

‘I HATE YOU…LOL!’

HAHAHAHA!!!

Then Xfactor Liam Halewood came in with his lovely boyfriend. (They were about to head to America, but thought they’d stop by and do a wine with Wunna.) I love liam,he’s always so gracious to me and he looked damn fine.

‘I’ve had botox, my hair and my makeup done!’

I love that! Lol. He looked amazing!

But we chatted about work, life, a possible tv show and then as Cheshire Liz left…we talked about my day…over more wine.

FINALLY DRINKERS!

It’s weird because when i drink, i like people to drink with me. But if you’re a massive drunk like that 42 year old and intruding my space…I hate it. Lol. I think it’s based upon, if i invite you to play ‘being drunk with me’ or not.

The ended on a delicious note and I got into a cab…where the driver was SURE I was famous, so asked me my name and flipping Googled me (THE DREADED CHRISSIE WUNNA GOOGLE SEARCH LOL ) whilst he was parked up…and then the whole way back to the hotel..he was filled with gle…which made me smile.

So being the glamour puss that I am..I took the requested selfies, but refused to give him my number…as he offered to DRIVE ME BACK TO LEEDS FOR FREE. Lol. Nothing comes for free. Hahah!

Got back to my room, stripped off, bundled into my sheets, sent a few whatsapps, took a few selfies, did a bit of snapchat, opened a Sol, (that I didn’t drink,) ate a banana and then went to sleep in my glammy little executive suite at the Macdonald Manchester…like the happiest little girl in the world.

My eyes opened at 7.30am….

 

Birthdays, Chill Mode & Manchester on Monday

I think i’ve just let my body embrace ‘chill mode’ and this isn’t any normal kind of ‘chill mode,’ this is the ultimate, soft landing, let your world sink into deep relaxtion, as a release mode.

I feel like i’ve just jollied in from the LONGEST work week ever. I can feel it all in my back, all tense. All knotty. It was just one of those work weeks that just kept going and going, with early mornings, late nights…and not even nearly enough wine.

When my body is still ‘running’ it does the job and gets on with it. YET, there was just a moment, on Friday night, where in which I tip toed away from the bustle. (I’ve worked A LOT over the last week, but i’ve felt it? Friday was also Ruby’s birthday…She’s now SIX :)..so even at home, it’s been ‘go, go, go.’ People, plans, giddiness, all sorts.) But yes, I looked around me, at the bustle and I snook away for a second, to have a chill, just a little old lay on my good old bed. (Total Granny. 🙂 ) And as my utterly glamourous head, hit that extra soft, feathery pillow, almost as if it had happened in slow motion, my ENTIRE SOUL felt a strong *clench* relax and slooooowly release me from a lofty height of tense stress. It was BLISS. From that moment on, I was in a euphoric state of kitty chill and I think you just need those moments to recoup. It’s the balance. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about relaxing. If you work hard, you deserve it.

I have Ruby’s birthday weekend to delight in for the rest of the weekend…and to be fair the babies have been wonderful. Their little faces are lit with glee. Ruby’s so happy to be six and Junior’s so happy to skank extra pressies, because it’s his sisters birthday and he’s the baby, so we can’t leave him out. Lol.

All sorts happened last week. ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I pissed ourselves laughing, as we ventured out to what I’d call ‘foreign lands,’ lands that I had never been a part of before to collect awards. TWO AWARDS. Lol. We won the lot! Yet, we had to ‘copper up’ to afford to buy booze, because they didn’t accept card and we didn’t have any cash on us. Well, we spent the cash on being charitable, which although lovely, and Little Miss Fairytale won Daffodil biscuits :)…kinda annoying when it comes to feeding my alcoholism. ‘Lady Shizzle’ who went with us, (I did vino with her, the red sort, before the event,) had to leave us to it, to journey home and dumped a handful of 20 pence pieces in my hand, which i was tremendously grateful for, as I could then afford a Sol. Lol. ‘Fairytale Blond’ got a CUPPA TEA at the pub before and then a JUICE Lol…at the event thing. I was filled up with wine, probably up to my little squinty kitten eye balls.

The rest of my chick friends, are all on ‘time of the month‘ vibes, so everything is all a little stressy or a littler tender. It’s delightful. It’s all hair extensions, blond bits and grumpy faces, with stress.

We’re all eating out of that FILTH DRAWER like desperate chimpanzees on the look out for….(Lol…sorry, just giggling at the time Firmonnell kept carrying around this banana with her, like her utter LIFE depended on it, like it was her weird BEST FRIEND. HAHAHA!)

‘Why do I constantly have this fucking banana in my hand?’

‘What’s that on my desk?’

‘Firmonnell’s banana!’

I am eating like a fat Oriental pig. It’s disgusting. I mean, you KNOW you’re not in Hollywood anymore, when you’ve gone out of your way to HIDE a fucking BACON SANDWICH from Greggs, in a drawer, that you can easily access, with one, left hand swing, if you fancied a bite. I’m not even left handed, so it’s my emergency arm.

I DID that!! That is what I have become! Waist trainer? I’ve probably eaten it, with a side of pork dumplings? 🙂

And there’s me thinking, ‘Ooh, I have a bunch of events and shoots that start in March, so I’ll get in shape, eat well and get skinny for them…’

Oh yeah, totally smashed that goal…

I mean I head to Manchester in Monday to go have a cheeky peeky behind the Social Chain walls. I snapchatted Steve…Steven Bartlett and asked if i could go…and he agreed. So I get to meet him to! Couldn’t be more excited for Monday! Can’t wait to meet everyone. Can’t wait to blog about it all….BUT I’M GONNA BE THE CHUBBY VERSION OF MYSELF. GREAT! I’m mean to be some crown wearing glamour puss for crying out loud!

I bet they don’t hide bacon sandwiches in drawers! No! They’re decent human beings….all creative and hard working….all….

I hope they have cocktails?

The funny thing about all this, is that when I made my Gino’s appearance, remember that blog….at the end of last year….I had made a bet at the Prosecco bar with House of Solo Magazine owner Abeiku Arthur….I had started watching Steve’s Vlogs every night and getting into them and then began Tweeting about how much I loved them. ‘House of Solo’ Abeiku Arthur then decided to Tweet Steve…and I correctly predicted that he wouldn’t get a reply, yet Steve would ‘like/favourite’ my Tweet.

What I didn’t tell you, was that I also predicted that I would be IN THAT OFFICE in a couple months. 🙂 Lol. AND *BOOM*….Monday, I check in!

Like, I said, I’m really excited. I can’t wait to tell you about my time there…I go on Monday and I even kept my Diary completely empty for Tuesday, whilst I’m still in Manchester, so that I can blog it all accurately…when it’s fresh….

Facebook Msg: (PE teacher from Malta) ‘Heeyyyyyyyyyyy, not out living the high life this evening? *Add kissy face emoji’s here.*

Whatsapp Msg: (London Business Man)

‘Your obviously too in demand these days x

It’s so bizarre, because both of those guys are from my ‘last year’ and they both decided against pairing up with  ‘Wunna land…’ I hadn’t spoken to them….Just got on with doing life….It all *zoomed* into the beginning of ‘dreams come true’ and then just like that, they’re back *tapping* on my Cyberland door. Both lovely humans. I wouldn’t date either of them. But they make good friends. Men must like women when they are headed to success? Well no…it either makes me more attractive to some OR makes other guys just feel defeated, like there would be no point in trying I’d never go for it….

But right now….I’ve got to go back and tend to organizing the rest of Ruby’s birthday weekend…

Love you all!

Chrissie

 

 

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Fairytales, Single Life & Inboxes

‘Awww…we need to find you a man Chrissie’ said Mel, as she eased off her headset and sat forward in her swivel chair, with a radiating grin that only EVER occurs in a girl, a lady, or a woman when the ‘love bug’ has got her and she is embracing the magical swirl of it all.

I was flipping rummaging in a cupboard for a key. Glamoruously ofcourse. Yet the key wasn’t to anyone’s heart. Just simply to aid the opening of doors.

David: ‘What about London Business Man?’

See…I would NEVER have thought that David would’ve ever *scroll clicked* into Wunna land? So it surprised me. Yet, at the same time it was hilarious, as he did actually refer to ‘London Business Man’ as ‘London Business Man,’ which always makes me smile.

‘Nothing. We aren’t anything…

Mel: ‘You do right…I mean he can’t just try to come back now…’

‘Well he’s just sent me a Whatsapp reading…*Okay handing in the towel and giving up 🙁 *’

I just looked as David, as he left Mel and I, to dash out the door and start his own work day, in his tie, with is diary…and smiled with a confident eye contact, that would inform anyone that, that particular chapter of ‘last year’ was and is waaaaaaaaaaaay in the past.

‘He can’t just adore me, choose another girl over me…fob me off, yet THEN realize I might have been a better choice and OH LOOK, I’m now doing well and after noticing that… decide to THEN shimmie back in…I’m not soft like that. I will do catch up drinks with him…yet…I just can’t take him seriously…’

I’m the warmest, most forgiving bundle of boobied Oriental that you’ll ever meet…but i’m not foolish. I’m a big girl. I’m grown. In a moment when I utterly adored him, he made me feel utterly rejected because he wasn’t ready to care for me…and anyone can relate to that feeling. Yet…that was a year ago. Time moves on. As soon as I got over that niggly rubbishy feeling, I jollied onward. I’m not weird like that. I’m happy and the best people LIVE their new chapters with love, forgiveness, with smiles and with rum cocktails. (Mel’s going through a huge new chapter right now, where after years of absolute shit…and THREE YEARS of single life….The Big Dude up above has watched her fight back so hard, that he’s got bored of the show, cut her some slack and thrown her a happy ending. Makes me smile. Her ‘Love swirl’ told her that he loves her the other night. 🙂 )

‘CHRISSIE!!!! I’M IN LOVE! OFFICIALLY:) ‘

Watching her made me beam. In fact, they’re all in love right now…’ALL’ meaning my chick friends. They’re all so different. All in different types of love, different stages of love and in different generations of love. Firmonnell with her 2 children and hubby ‘Big D,’ who go through life with smiles and this happy family life. ‘Fairytale Blond,’ in a newish  love that is becoming more and more stable by the day. (She literally does ‘love’ by the book. It’s like one big, moral …Fairytale text book.) ‘Double B’ and Master.G…are young 20 somethings that are all flashy, urban and glamorously ‘gangsta bouji.’  They’re like this hilariously bizarre comedy duo, who were simply made for each other. Lynne has been with Tony for hundreds of years, from being fifteen to sixty!!!  (AS IF) Hot Sarah is all moved in, loved and doing her 4th year Anniversary, yet still seeks adventure. Mel, as you know, is three months in, as soft hearted as they come with a warrior exterior. You don’t mess with her. She’s fallen madly in love, after three whole years of ‘no man anywhere.’

They all kinda give me hope and i’ve been in love, had loads of attention, no attention, been happy, been sad, been married three times, up, down and everywhere, from all angles of that glammy coin.

But i’ve just never found my true love yet and even though I’m the only one that’s single, I don’t seem to mind as right now? Until I find the man of my dreams…that crazy love…that love that takes over me, my soul mate….I’m not bothered. I’m not in the mood to *kiss a bunch of toads.* I’m too old for that…and too egotistical. 😉

I’m going through more life changes this year than ever…and embracing them…I think? Even though there are A LOT OF CAREER THINGS ‘PENDING…’ And it’s awful because it’s like typing a message, hitting ‘send,’ but your wifi connection conks out, as the *swirl* icon buffers around and around and around, going nowhere…PENDING is better than nothing, but still shit. 🙂

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah but Chrissie, that’s exciting, as all the things that are pending are really BIG things.’

‘Yes, but  don’t have them yet.’

Then Double B decided to cast Firmonnell in the pretend film version of chrissiewunna.com, if it was a budget ‘Sex in the City’ with a..

‘You’d definitely be the red haired lesbian one, Chrissie’s *Carrie* and I’m that dirty one that talks shit all the time..’

I’m lucky because in my world i’m on constant mode of ‘hide it well’ stress. Yet, it almost doesn’t absorb because it’s completely dissolved by the best chick friends, a girl could ever HAVE, who inject my stress with the most hilarious girl banter and laughter. I love them. 🙂 You should too. They’ll send you nudes.

‘Prince Jonathan’s completely changed since he’s met Fairytale Blond. He’s found his one.’

‘I mean yeah, look at Master G and I, he used to be a massive coke head and now he’s lovely.. It’s like a fairytale in itself.

HAHAHA.

‘Once upon a time, there was a….’

At the end of the day I can’t control any of the ‘pending,’ so I just have to let life decide for me…

I mean GOD, I’m a finalist in the UK Blog Awards this year. Over 97,000 people voted, through a public vote, which landed me in the TOP 8 ‘most voted for’ blogs in my category. WHAT? That shocked me. That was in December and I found out I was finalist in January. I HONESTLY COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. It was glorious! 🙂 I happy danced.

THEN, and obviously I KNEW the whole time, that I was a finalist, yet sort of made the executive decision to forget about it all and just get on with doing what I do best and that’s tell my story. Yet even though I couldn’t be more honoured. Like it feels just SO SPECIAL, as this is MY LIFE. It’s not a review site, an advice site, or anything…It’s literally just my story….and fortunately a journey that so many of you, all over the world have tuned in to. It’s unbelievably humbling.

Today I got a reminded that the event was in April (I can’t wait for it but i’m terrified and I DO EVENTS ALL THE TIME. BIG ONES. The email said that the JUDGES had now handed in their winning results? WHAT!!! That ALONE, really shit me up for a bit, because I had FORGOTTEN that I was being judged by  the judges through FEBRUARY!! JESUS!

So, now there’s nothing I can do, but pour a wine, keep ‘Dear Diarying’ it , show up in April, STILL FLIPPING SINGLE..and not win. Hurrah!

Ps/ Thank you for all the support 😉

PPS/ Thank you to the guy that inboxed me this message today…

‘Love your blog & ffs, 99 percent of males would love to have you in their life…I think you’re amazing..xx’

The reason why i’m thanking you, is because there was a moment today when I might have been a little fed up…and I just happened to glimpse down at my phone and that message popped up randomly…But it was so positive and so lovely that it made me FEEL chipper. So I thank you for that and send you my love.

PPS/ The dude that send me the video in his builders uniform…plastering…Always a treat! Lol. Cheers! 🙂

Stupid Cupid…

GOD!!! If i’m that ‘beautiful’ or that ‘mind blowing’ or that ‘talented’ or that ’10’ you’ve always been looking for, then why the am I single?

I don’t get it? I’m the most loving, love bunny in all of the goddamn lovey land. I make an awesome partner. So, if my inbox is filled with ‘I think you’re amazing’s’…I mean JEEZE, random ‘Tom from Hertfordshire thinks i’m…(and this is an exact quote)

‘like some weird science project, where the perfect girl has been created…’

Honestly! If  am I THAT delicious, than why is Cupid fucking me over continuously…A dude in a diaper is fucking me over.

Chick friend: ‘Because you’re far too picky and far too shallow. 🙂 ‘

Hahaha! 🙂 Cheers!

If ANYTHING, I need to be FAR MORE picky and far more shallow. I love romance, treats, eye candy and the finer things in life, yet I will always judge EVERYTHING on ‘chemistry’ and all through my life to date, I’ve always got it wrong. I have never managed to find that perfect ‘chemistry’ with anyone…No…aside from one guy.

But i’m not bothered. I’m just having a ‘had gin’ rant because I can. I’m not gonna just date ‘the next guy’ simply because. I’m rather wait it out, even if he never finds me and I end up residing with 100 cats, in the most glamourous bachelorette pad.

I will say that I’m watching Mel, Fairytale Blond, Firmonnell, Double B, Hot Sarah and Lynne and noticing how they’re all VERY paired up and in love. And I adore watching them in their girly ‘love swirls.’

YET…It did sort of dawn on me today that I was super single and I don’t quite like it. Let alone GET IT?

I’m an ace human. I’m fucking brilliant. I’m that glittery slice of life that you wished you could spread on your toast. That ‘Mmm’ noise you make after your favourite bite of cookie.Why am I NOT loved up??

*Massive confusion alert*

‘Wunna! Obviously. People read your blog. Google search you. Come up with a version of you, a WRONG VERSION, that they think you are… and mess it all up…’

‘Yeah, and this whole confident, independant thing that you are… is off putting..It scares them…It means that they could lose you….hence why they put a ring on it a lot…’

‘And when they actually meet you, they are so in shock at how you actually are, that they create their own swirl, and they don’t actually know what to do & start acting like an unusual version of themselves.’

Lovely!

Where’s just all the normal humans? My Knight in shining armour? No more Twats in Tin foil please! Where are all the authentic ‘make my eyes smile’ men? This game of ‘hidey go seek’ is totally one sided?? I’ve counted to 10 and coming to find you and you’re no where.

My LA guy friends are like..

‘Just come back here, where we all love you…’

My British chick friends…’find it funny.’

Then one girl messaged me, who I went to school with..she reads my blog daily…

She said,

‘I think you’re going to find that love is about to creep up to you, find you and sweep you off your feet really, really soon…’

Hmm? Really?

How can my love life be so shite. Yet my work life be so wonderful? I have brands and collabo’s filling up my inbox like wild fire. I mean, GOSH, I’ve always wanted to work alongside ‘Onch Movement’ (who appeared in Forbes and designed for Sanrio…Hello Kitty,) casually Tweeted him this evening…and within a minute, he tweeted back, and within five minutes, we sorted out a collabo. He’s in LA and I’m in the UK.

I guess, the ace thing about growing up in West Hollywood, is that everyone I know growing up… as a young one, is now super successful in the career that they chose to dabble in. Makes it all a little easier. I mean Little Raffi, who used to wish to be some giant producer…whilst dreaming about success, with Red Bulls, outside my condo, after reversing into my wheelybin every night…before he went to go hang out with ‘Neo’ for kicks. He ended up producing for R Kelly, working with Britney and even Michael Jackson. All of them, ended up doing so well and because they were all so driven.

YET, they’ve all managed to sustain loving long term relationships…AND IN FRICKING LA, where FOREVER means TEMPORARY.

I’m weeing myself laughing, but I have no clue why?? Lol

Cupid and I will be mates one day. But just not today.

(Now, I want you to all go back and read this through with an Irish accent. My chick friend, ‘Double B’…will always force these ‘accents’ that she does, upon us without fear and no matter where you’re from…be you black, white, Japanese, cockney, Jamaican or American…She will do your accent and it will be IRISH. Lol. She can’t even help it. It will sound nothing like you…but she’ll go for it… 🙂 )

‘You still sound Irish???’

‘Oh? That was my granny voice??’

OOh, Two Whatsapp…

Firmonnell: ‘I’ve started drinking through the week now.’ (HAHAHA! Yes! I hope she’s on the rum!)

London Business Man: ‘I know you’re busy and doing all this cool stuff, like going out and getting papped, having fun etc…I get it. You’re busy. But don’t you want to just get real for a minute and come see me? We’ll go out and about…and…’

I guess, the fact that I haven’t managed to find the time to go see him yet, means that my heart isn’t so bothered. Work comes before him…and when I fall in love….I want to feel as though i’m in a magical uncontrollable ‘happy swirl,’ where all is dandy and I’ll never have to compromise my journey…my ambitious, yet loving quench for success..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! (And Ginners.)

‘What are you doing?’

‘Just rummaging through your drawers…’

‘Aww…If only I had any on..’

I looked at the ever stylish, ‘King of the North,’ we *paused* and then we pissed ourselves laughing at how not very funny we are.

‘Please, as IF i’m not in pants. I’ve had babies. If I don’t wear pants, all sorts of shit would fall out of me…’

Then ofcourse ‘Double B’ butts in with a..

‘Like what?’ 🙂

Hahaha! The terrifying thought of what actually might fall out of me when shaken is beyond me. That’s why I avoid bouncy castles at all costs. It’d be weave, boobs and flipping West Hollywood pretty boys from 2013 that would fall out of me, with a few delicious organs…dashed in a sliced of my gooey dignity.

I hope you’ve had a wonderful Valentines day. I’ve had THE SINGLE, MOST WONDERFUL VALENTINES DAY EVER.

This is one of the first times in England that I’ve been single on the day of love and let me tell you…I have no date, I had no plans, I received zero cards or flowers and I am BEAMING. It almost feels as though i’m the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s odd? Right now, I’m emotionally at my strongest. So warm that i’m radiating this weird glitter glow. I’ve never felt like this before.

I happy because this year, on Valentines Day, I feel so utterly proud of myself because I never ‘just settled’ for ‘some guy’ that wasn’t my perfect life buddy, simply to just go on a date. I don’t feel lonely. I feel ‘whole’ and when girls are of that nature they are at their MOST attractive.

So as ‘Fairytale Blond’ made last minute dinner arrangements. (‘I Ugh, I can’t believe I have to make my OWN arrangements.’) ‘Double B’ went to Marks & Sparks to buy her beau (who’s penis looks like Me in my party weave) the ingredients to a romantic home cooked meal. As ‘Hot Sarah’ ( who let me eat her leftover home stew and dumplings) probably dashed away from her desk to celebrate her Valentine Anniversary with her ‘Handsome’ and as ‘Firmonnell’ stayed in and did love with her husband ‘Big D..’ (Firmonnell’s all bouji now, as i’ve noticed that she’s embracing her inner glam and wearing the cutest little pinny dresses…Probably because she always has worms and ‘fishy bits’ in the blog…. Hahaha!! I’ve accidentally got it in again, haven’t I!?! Lol)

Anyway, tonight, I internally *beamed* because as I flung on my little faux fur to keep my kitten face warm and as I tottered to my car, under the glitzy night stars, I celebrated the fact that, I was for ONCE utterly single on Valentines Day and weirdly the happiest chick in all the land. No drama, no stress, no plans, no nothing…

I walked down an alley way, with a smile on my face, like the entire world was my oyster. My mum even Facebooked me at that point with a, ‘Are you doing anything tonight?‘ Then when I responded with a ‘no’ and a smiley face she couldn’t even believe her little Burmese eyes. 🙂

Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in love, the real kind that gets you in a swirl, an uncontrollable happy swirl of magic. And I know that I’ll get bowled over by his spirit when I meet him. Yet, i feel great for NOT being tied down to someone that isn’t quite right for me. That alone makes me  happy. It makes me feel free. I’m not in a situation where i’m having to compromise what i stand for or believe in.

‘London Business Man’ sent me a Whatsapp message yesterday..one of the Voice Note variety that went a bit like this…

‘I have a lot of love for you, but i’m just hearing excuses right now, excuses excuses, I know you’re busy… I get it… I get it.. I get it. But make a little time for ME and I’ll make a LOT of time FOR YOU….. I honestly don’t know what that means, but it sounded good.’ 

Lol.

I just don’t seem to have time to schedule ‘London Business Man’ into my life….until next month, but just for a catch up…and even though we have a brief past of fun…I haven’t really seen him in over half a year. He’s the one that withdrew his offer of love. We’re good friends, yet that’s only because I’m cool and not nutty, as technically he did choose other chicks over me…every time. Yet, I’m just not bothered, as I think he’s a great friend, and I think he’s a wonderful human, yet I understand men, people, I understand ‘times’ and how he may feel now, that i’m doing well…And yes, he’s not on my priority list of ‘Must Dates’ lol…

But like I said in my last blog, before I deleted it…(That’s the ace thing about lifestyle blogging, you can go back and edit shit out, like it never even happened…:) )

It’s hard once you’ve maybe ballsed something up a bit and you then try to get back in the game. As the second time around, depending on how hard you’ve ballsed up, you almost face a mountain. If you just made a small yet decent rockstar decision to begin with, it would’ve been a a walk in the park. And I don’t say that to preachy. I say it because I have been on BOTH SIDES of that coin throughout life.

But what I do like about him is that he doesn’t quit trying….he’s not scared to ask me out and do it properly Most guys are. I don’t like scaredy cats. What I don’t feel for him right now..is ‘magic.’

It’s that’s chemistry and magic that I look for.

I did do a year ago…I felt so much magic that I could’ve exploded…but that was a year ago…Right now, and when i’m dancing in my finest emotional situation, I see him as just my buddy. A guy friend i’d just do cocktails with to catch up and YOU ALL HATE BEING in ‘friend zone,’ but you kinda put yourself there. 🙂

I haven’t even had sex since last year. So, it’s not like i’m making foolish decisions. I’m making the right decisions for me. FOR once. (Oh wait? Was it last year? It was ‘Eton Mess’…Yes…last year, in maybe like November? Ages ago now. AND I’M LOVING IT. I am little Cougar, Born again Virgin Chrissie Wunna.

But no matter what you did this evening, I hope you felt adored and more importantly ‘whole.’

I got given a decent and loving pep talk by a lady who’s in her sixties this morning and it kinda made me glow and feel strong. I’ve been losing my swag a little bit over the last week. Yet this morning sorted me right out.

Oh? I’ve just got a message from ‘Take Me Out Nick?’

‘Pop over tomorrow when you’re free, so I can make you a brew..’

The other day we were imagining what our lives would be like if we dated ginger people? Lol.

He imagined himself in Valley Gardens (which is a dodgy park in Pontefract) with some ghetto blaster, in the sun and a few beers with his imaginary ginner bird.

‘Where are you? The Maldives?’

‘Yeah, I’m bikini sunbathing with cocktails in The Maldives and he’s moaning because he’s having to sit in the shade because he’ll burn to death in the blistering heat. So I’ll just have to lay here, ignore him and shout him over if I need anything during the holiday…’

HAHAHA!  Then we finished out coffees and got on with life…

Everything feels magical in Wunna Land.

Happy Valentines Day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dates, Mates & Hippie Fucks

Happy Sunday morning! I’ve been up since the crack of dawn rushing around trying to fit everything into the correct life slots. I had a wonderful family day yesterday with the babies,which was filled with treats. But today, I have A LOT of work to get through, my fingers crossed and ‘The Mighty’s’ Baby Shower to shimmie to.

And just like that, when i’ve set my mind on getting through it all with a hair toss and a wiggle. AND when i’m sort of excited to have that unsettled ‘pending’ work part of my brain opened and ready to conquer…in jollies a text from Keiran, (Junior’s Dad,)

‘I’m not going to be able to come get Junior as I’m having to be in London all day at the last minute…but i’m gonna try and get back…’

Hurrah! Lol. *Schedule Changes!*

So, I have a green tea latte by my side, I’ve just gracefully nibbled a smoked salmon/spinach and cream cheese, wheat bagel..(I’m at Starbucks, Doncaster by the way) and I’m blogging. Quickly.

I have a huge tumble of interview questions to get through and they’re important questions, not the usual *Wunna Winky * ones, so I HAVE to make sure that I deliver them appropriately…and they’re for a feature that I’m doing for a magazine. (I can’t tell you about it yet. But I have the questions next to me and they’re so good that they’re intimidating.)

I recently did my Celeb ‘Working Mum’s in Business’ interview..That came out at the end of Jan and it went  really well, as I gained a great deal of feedback from it and as a business THEY also had new interest *peeking into* their space. I like that! 🙂

I also have my feature in House of Solo magazine swinging out next week! It’s all very high fashion…and i’m naked in it…:) and I’m representing all things…Well, i’ll be doing a blog on it when it comes out and I have one on my lap, so you’ll know all about it. I’m excited about it all!

Then there’s a quick event this Tuesday that I’ve promised that I will pop up at, I’ve pushed to get ‘the cover’ of another editorial and I have the interview questions by my side for a different feature that is again REALLY exciting for me. They are the questions that I don’t want to balls up, as it’s an opportunity to inspire. That’s my week from now, pretty much booked up…as Saturday I’m scheduled out also.

I’ve just looked to my left and there’s this beautiful, intellectual looking couple. Couple? I don’t know if they’re a couple or just friends, but I’m obsessed with them, so i’ve made them a couple in my head because they’re sat in the corner of Starbucks, with their eyes smiling at each other, with shy *flirts* all a glow…and they’re playing chess. Aww! Mental stimulation. Couldn’t be sexier! Love them. The girl half of the pair, just looked above her geek chic glasses and smiled at me. I hope my green tea latte hasn’t turned my teeth green? And I hope she doesn’t mind that I’m obviously glaring at her with my over done eyeshadow, big hair and quite ‘not very subtly‘ writing about her. Hahaha.

To my right are hippies. They’re a bit weird and not adoring my shoe game, so i’m not feeling them. But I do like the really old Australian *sweary* woman amongst them. Lol. She’s said the word ‘FUCKING’ almost 92 times in a 8 minutes. I’m impressed. Totally goes with her hippie rainbow jacket.

I can’t look behind me because i need a massage and i’ve done something to my neck, so it kills. How the ‘hippie FUCK’ 🙂 am I going to be a cougar in training, if I can’t even look around to see what’s behind me, without cricking my neck. Toy boy’s aren’t gonna dig that! And people do ask me about my love life always…YES, I’m single. But no, i’m not ageist. You could be 20 something or 40 something. If your spirit plays well with mine, you’re in. Lol.

I will say that out of all the.. on paper.. ‘age appropriate’ gents that I dated last year…Wait? Oh yeah, it was last year….And i’m talking men in their mid thirties….All with great jobs. All with great manner. All with rubbish luck with women…I did notice that because they had experienced such a shitty time with chicks the last time they dated and break ups had sort of come up and *surprised* them…they were a little more jaded, a little more fearful and a little more ‘I’ll do me now,’ than the guys that I had dated the year before that , who were in their mid twenties.

Those guys still had a ‘passion’ in their eyes and a warmth in their soul. There wasn’t anything lonely about them and they weren’t so selfish or terrified enough to ‘try.’ That, I’ve decided is sexy…so I’m totally going to be a Cougar…Yet hopefully get 24 massages by then, so I can at least turn my head around without breaking my back. (I’m never going to be able to ‘reverse cowgirl’ it.)

Yet the beautiful thing about my 2016 story of Eton Mess, London Business Man and The PE teacher from Malta. (He sent me more *kissy face* emoji’s last night. I then sent him a brief reply reading, ‘Hope you’re well,’ to make sure he knew that I was listening, because i’m not rude...and….. he didn’t reply. Hahaha!

‘London Business man,’ well he’s now just bought himself a new Jag, as he posted it on Instagram a day ago and then ‘liked’ one of my pictures. We get on really well as friends now, because we’re similar in some aspects. Yet when it comes to love, he’s more needy than I am. Yet, that’s because my mind is still fresh and going, because I not only have so much more to achieve in my life and I feel like i’ve already achieved A LOT, but right now I’m in an exciting time where in which I’m actually doing it and doing it well! *EEeek!!!* London Business Man is a man who would want me to put him first. I feel like if we ever dated, now that i’m quite busy and on the elevator up…He would constantly try to make me jump through hoops to make me prove that I care. (Like KEIRAN. Note: They are both Aries boys.) If you are a Sex in the City fan…and i’m currently being hailed as the ‘U.K’s Carrie Bradshaw’ he is the equivalent to ‘Big’ in Wunnaland.

And ‘Eton Mess’….One of those really great souls, who has been through some unfortunate times in life, yet regardless he’s happy, so smart and so funny…and no matter what, he always stays on the ‘sunny side of the street.’ You’ll never truly know what this guy is thinking and nothing harsh ever happened between us, yet we don’t really talk now. Our life paths crossed the whole entire way in opposite directions, cutting communication. However, I know that he’s more than happy, which makes me smile…because he deserves peace…

Right now, he’s away doing this…

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But that was all LAST YEAR and I always say that people talk about their ‘yesteryear’ when they don’t have anything going on in their ‘PRESENT,’ in a particular area that they’re rambling on about.

And that’s SO TRUE. As this year there have been zero boys, zero dates and lots of work. I’m loving it. I’m just one of those emotionally ‘happy when i’m single’ chicks and until I bump into the RIGHT guy who I CAN’T HELP but fall for, that’s how i’ll stay. However this single time has been fruitful, as it’s made me sexier. I’m sexier now because when I do bump into my Mr.Right, i’ve spent so much time being comfortable as Little Miss Independent, getting to know myself better and finding my ‘happy place’ that i’m emotionally ready for him…I’m not ‘half full,’ lets say.

I will also say, that I adore my chick friends madly right now.

So obviously my last blog was all about them and when you’re a glamour puss, a single one, you NEED your chick friends. They’re your soldiers, your help, your saviour through it all, alongside gossip and wine. (I’m mean they’re all messaging me now, because we’re all meant to be headed to ‘The Mighty’s’ Baby Shower, but I’m stuck in Doncaster, waiting for Baby Daddies and all sorts. I’ve just seen the word ‘wine’ in the Whatsapp Group appear, so I might NEED to read it all.

Anyway, you’d think they’d love being in the blog, now that’s it’s all up in lights with readers galore….(and they do really.) But oh GOD! These were some of the messages I received from them, once I hit ‘publish.‘ 🙂

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The other message was a *middle finger* emoji! Lol. There needs to be a Glamour Puss WUNNA emoji, where it’s just my little bitchy Oriental face, smiling and pouting at you, with a middle finger up.

Anyway…I love them! 🙂

Yet, saying ‘THEM’ it was just ‘Firmonnell’ who got terrified, incase I told everyone she may of had worms in her ever so glamourous booty. 🙂 HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I mean look at ‘Double B,’ she loves it. She’ll straight up come in with a ‘but his penis looks like you with your party weave on Chrissie, so I can’t give him a…’

Right, I need to go sort myself out. Looks like Keiran won’t be on a train back soon…

Interview questions with my toddler on my lap it seems is a coming….

 

 

Busy Times, Balance, Good News & Stress

Busy day, so busy that it sort of border lined on the edge of stressy. I stayed positive through it all because let’s face it, I don’t have it bad and nor do I ever partake in letting stress get the better of my kitten self. However, on the whole, I just believe that things should be dealt with positively, as stressy manners are ungraceful. It can turn ‘pretties’ into animals with a quick dash. When it comes to love or life, taking educated baby steps seems to always work and keep you out of trouble. So, to those of you who are fumbling through mayhem, be it physical, mental, emotional or financial…work smart and not hard, that is the key to all success. Yet makes sure that everything you are giving is of value…then of course have a rummy cocktail and share the positive glow with others. I mean, fuck it form a joyous conga line and you know how much I hate conga lines. They always seem so awkward at the end, when the fun is drizzling out and people don’t know if the ‘conga’ part of the line is still going or has come to an ‘everyones gone to the bar instead’ end? Plus when your eyes follow down the line, you will notice that everyone isn’t really having fun. They’re sort of just ‘going through the motions’ and pretending that good times are occurring. Honestly, watch one closely, it’s only the one at the front of the line that is actually have an ‘arms up and everything’ blast.

A lot has happened today, people suffered from ‘Blue Monday,’ other’s bought rose gold candle holders, some thought that chicken and bacon toasties lessened in calories if they were microwaved and my other chick friend, who is of an extreme girly nature, was FORCED TO DRIVE a giant yellow ROOFING VAN to work, after reading a note that said,

‘I’ve gone to work without you, but left you the van.’ 

All i heard as she burst through the door was..

‘Chrissie! It’s digusting! I’m driving a giant yellow van and it’s filled with bits of food, cigarette buds and all kinds of crap. I’M HAVING TO DRIVE THAT AROUND.’

I pissed myself laughing simply because it’s not every day you get to make like you’re a glammy roofing service.

‘Hey, I wear heels and can fix roofs and shit.’

However, I will tell you that I am a GERMAPHOBE! I would’ve literally DIED if I had to drive in a ‘bits of food everywhere’ van. I’d have to close my eyes and not touch anything, which would be rather awkward when trying to operate a moving vehicle. The van and I would have to contemplate one another’s existence and it’s a simple fact, we just wouldn’t get along.

‘Drive me!’

‘You’re mucky!’

Okay, away from that, I am mentally busy as well as physically busy. I’m going through ‘ups and downs’ that i’m choosing to worry about. Yippee! Lol. I need to chillax a bit instead of stressing my glamourous self out. I’m hoping for the best and expecting nothing. But yes, I need to worry less about the things that I can’t control. Once you’ve batted that glitter ball out of the ball park, you’ve just got to let it fly until someone jumps and *catches* it.

HOWEVER, along with the stress, i’ve blessed with a balance of really great news. I’ve received some wonderful emails today, that have again ‘shimmied me up rung’ that little bit higher. And to be fair, there was more great news, than ‘blue’ news…so on the whole, I’ve done pretty well. I always think it’s important to notice your personal ‘achievements’ (and it’s hard when you’re highly ambitious) because your goals are so far stretched. But if you can’t *pat* YOURSELF on the back once in a while, then your soul is never satisfied and to me… that’s highly unattractive. Be ambitious, but smell the roses.

I have a few things coming up this week. I’m setting up for a Chrissie Wunna ‘Cocktail Tour.’ There’s more about that later and you’ll hear about it, because i’ll force it upon you. 🙂 but basically there are now so many places that are inviting me over to ‘tinker’ that I might as well go on tour. But i’m not stupid, at least it’s a tour where I can get …pissed. 🙂 The good thing about this tour,  is that you will have the opportunity to join me…as days out with moi, are going to be up for grabs.

I have a few interviews with magazines that ‘wave the flag’ for the things that I love and represent. I’m getting booked up and i’m getting booked up fast and for some reason i’m not able to keep up with my social media? It’s hard, as when you’re busy, finding time to constantly post ain’t easy. You’re my audience and my current success has been frisbeed from both the ‘social’ world and all things Cyberland. I owe you everything. I never take ti for granted. So yes, I need to post more socially.

On Wednesday I’m headed to a Celebrity Makeup Masterclass and I’m going to be finding time to hang out with the lovely Lisa Appleton and Liam Halewood, who I did Blackpool with last week, as we comitted time to Mexican cocktail

Lisa’s just got back from Spain, after holidaying with my other buddy Mark Byron. (I’ve just seen the pictures of it all in the Daily Mail today and it just makes me giggle. Lord knows what those two got up to, on Spanish soil as they are literally the funnest people that I have ever encountered. If they see a ‘good time,’ they will go forth and embrace it.)

But yes, I have a lot to tell you however I can’t do it now.

Life has changed fast.

I love you…I’ll chat tomorrow.

(I’ve just recieved a whatsapp message…?’ )

London Business Man: ‘You’ve forgotten about me.’