I’ll Tells You What I Fancy In GUYS…..

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Hope you’re having the most beautiful Thursday! Going well for you? I truly hope so. You all deserve a bit of love, luck and happiness. And thank you so much for finding you way to Wunna Land. It’s utterly much appreciated.

I’m quite dandy today and I don’t really know why? But i’m kinda brimming over with the ‘joy joys’ and I love it when that happens, because it’s such a great feeling. It fills my sorry ass soul with light.

You won’t know this, but every morning in Wunna land, Ruby, Junior  (my babies) and I are woken up by a hand picked song, that plays and fills each room in the house. I believe it puts us all in a good mood. I’m a huge music lover. And even if you’re hungover, it’s ace, because it makes you think the party is still going on.

Today’s choice was by my five year old, Baby Junior and it was this…So i’m gonna put it on for you, so you can feel today’s vibe…

*Hit Play Now.*

Then KatyP sends me a whatsapp message stating that we should pack up boxes of super strength dildos, make sure the boxes are labelled ‘SUPER STRENGTH DILDOS‘ and drop them outside each of our friends doorsteps.

KatyP: ‘Claire would expect it to be full. Lol.’

Me: ‘It’s fine, we can just chuck in a couple of kitchen knives and say it’s bondage or summat.’

KatyP: ‘We’ll put a soap on a rope in there too..’

Me: ‘And a teddy to cuddle, for after the ordeal.’

Then she gave me a list of Adult Cereals that went along the lines of ‘Fifty Shades of Grain/Special D/Porn Flakes/Rice Friskies’ that I could consider munching, as  I’m actually a breakfast skipper. (I just do coffee and selfie taking and yeah lol…it’s really bad for your system. You should always have breakfast.) My favourite was ‘Cheery Hoes.‘ So if I do ever consider eating before 9am…

They’d be my first choice of delight.

Away from that, I loved Love Island last night. I still fancy Adam. I don’t know why some people don’t. He’s far too attractive to not adore and his personality, to me… is on point. Like I don’t care if he’s sweet, but egotistical, kind, but cocky…In general, I love that in a guy. I love a guy with ‘gusto.’

Y’know, when they know what they want and how to get it. It not only means they’ve used their brain, yet also learnt along the way of life…and studied girls with a sly carefulness. I don’t mind a guy who fancies himself as a bit of charmer, but only when it’s executed well.  I like ‘smooth’ not cheeky. Cheeky is young. ‘Smooth’ is grow ass man. I like a soft gentleman, mixed in with a delicious roaring swag. I go for sexy. I love sexy.

It’s hot.

I still fill as though the Doctor is gonna get pied off by Rosie, ‘The Solictor’ though. I mean, she used date Jordan Weekender…which means she’s gonna swoop on in for MY ADAM. Haha. Hurrah!! Poor Alex.

I had ace chats about this with my chickadee Zara (who works at Creator Hair in Sheffield) late last night. I think we decided we loved each other and then decided that all men were twats.

Why are they though? We’re proper catches!

Then we talked about cougars and how every young guy goes through his ‘cougar phase.‘ I’m not agest by any means. I can’t afford to be emotionally. Lol.

However, I’ve always ended up with a toyboy. I don’t know whether that’s because i’m the oldest girl in the world, living a young life or because I’ve never found an older man, (apart from ONE..who is my mate ‘Trigg’ who i find extremely attractive. I mean, for 42, he’s a looker. You should stalk his Insta: Simon T Trigg. It’s a grow up girls treat.)

Me: ‘I don’t think a 20 something guy would ever really  seriously consider being with a 30 something yr old girl…long term..’

Zara: ‘You’d be surprised…’

Me: ‘I just don’t think, they’d look to settle down with someone quite a bit older, in the end…It’s just a phase for them. Yeah, we’re by far better women, all grown up, no drama and better in bed…

Zara: ‘When you’re in Sheffield at the end of the month. I know you’ll already have somewhere to stay, but feel free to stay at mine. Oh shit. Wait. And that’s not because you’ve just said you’re good in bed. Hahahahahahaha. 

I love Zara. She’s ace. When she first met me, (at the Weaves & Waves event in Leeds, she came with Sam etc) she didn’t like me and was certainly unsure, then hours in… she thought I was okay and finally, at the very end of the night, she decided she did. I literally love her.  I find her funny, she makes my evil soul fill with laughter. She’s a good find. Aw! Yeah and I saw that Sam BURNT HIS HEAD with straighteners today on his Insta story…

‘Mr. Assured Chrissie Wunna, that HE NEVER BURNS ANYTHING, whilst doing hair.’  

All he did was emoji piss himself at me…then got on with life.

(Ooh, i’ve just got a message in from ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s one of my chick besties,  but she’s in France..camping. Once sec, let me see what she’s got to say, because I miss her…)

It was a snapchat of her face with flower filter ears, Lol…with text reading..

‘Thought you might miss my face…’

Why can’t guys be as thoughtful as girls? Why are we girls all so attentive with one another, yet when we date, the guy’s we’ve chosen (aside from KatyP, who has the most romantic ‘Golfer Jonny’…even though she’s *six day* sore..) are FAR LESS so…? Why are relationships always hard work? They shouldn’t be. But maybe it’s me. That’s why I’M single…always. Lol.

I do love, love and i’m a hopeless romantic. But honestly, where is he? I know we’re not meant to have a perfect man in our heads. But I’m quite happy being single until that man rocks up..I don’t think i’m a bad woman. I think i’m a great woman. And my imaginary perfect man, isn’t made up of a list like most girls, it is all based upon how he would make me FEEL. That’s all I care about. Alongside handsome, sexy and stable.

I love eye candy. It’s always been a part of me that’s been really shallow.

I will always want to be with a really attractive man, provided his personality matches up to his looks. So technically, I’m balanced. 😉

Someone’s just sent me a link to read. I click on it, and all it does is unfold me really really slloooowly, then it states as a headline, ‘Paris Hiltons British Best Friend, slips a nips during photoshoot.’ 

Thrilling news…

Love you,

Chrissie x

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Lisa’s Blackpool Birthday!! Part 1..

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So, i’ve just got back from the *Maddest* time in Blackpool. It’s been nuts. I was there to celebrate Lisa (as in ‘Appleton’s) big old birthday. Lisa’s been a really dear friend of mine, for a long long time now…and having spent the last 3 years being in the press every single day and being judged for her delicious stunts of ‘ooh laa.‘ I can tell you, that you’ll never meet anyone more loving, more warm or less judgmental.

She’s literally one of my best friends. I adore her madly and I’m so glad that I got to be there on her birthday, as my schedule can get pretty tight. I’ve not been a great friend to any of my friends this year, due to work.

But let’s get on with it, yeah…

STRAP IN! (Not on. 😉 )

I checked into The New Osborne Hotel, in Blackpool. It was arranged for me by the darling that is Liam Halewood and well I always stay there, simply because, I love the suites, I love the staff, the service is impeccable and it’s pretty much in the middle of everything. I’m a service girl. And I adore Matt who owns The New Osborne…I mean he even picked me up from the station.

So, as soon as I got in, I didn’t even go to my room or even see Lisa, because she was getting her hair & face *did* at a nearby salon, he *cracked* open a bottle of prosecco and we sat and drank in the restaurant/bar with great banter, inappropriate laughter and literally for a good couple of hours.

MATT’S ACE!

(I knew Lisa would take FOREVER doing her face. I always think that MUA’s always take forever, don’t they? Lol. Yet, when it comes to ‘getting ready’, it literally only takes me about 10 mins. So i just chilled with Matt and Lisa’s friend ‘Sharon’ over gin and prosseci’s!) 

[Phone Call]

Aaron The Pap: ‘Chrissie, I’m papping at this salon. She wants you to go get her mate Sharon out the room and get her to drink with you…lol’

Anyway, long story short, it’s almost time to get ready. Liam’s all in a panic over the  buffet. He wants everything to be perfect, so all the organizing obviously stresses him out. But, to me, he’s a dream. How thoughtful of him, to put it all together.

Liam: ‘Where is EVERYONE! I’M FUMING! You’re all meant to BE HERE by 7.30pm.’

Me: ‘She’s still getting her face done. I’m not even ready yet. She’ll be another hour. I’ve just spoke to Aaron. We’re not even gonna be there until 9pm.’

I’m chilled by nature…but I understand the stress, because even though it was her birthday, it was still actually work and we certainly had a schedule to stick to. That’s why I don’t like to organize, things. I only like to SHOW UP and drink, without responsibility.

An hour passes, Lisa & Aaron are on their way back to the hotel. Ryan (Ryan Mira) who is my agent, at The Celebrity Management Company is ‘training’ it in from London, because he’d just been doing the ‘Good Morning Britain‘ & ‘Loose Women‘ rounds with Daniella ‘The Westie’ Westbrook. He had to get himself to Blackpool for Lisa’s birthday event. BUT he had to bring giant loads of luggage with him, because the next morning, he had to fly out to Thailand…

STRESSY RIGHT!

Matt shows me to my room… Suite 3. Lisa was in 1. (I think Sharon & I were already a bit pissed by this time 🙂 I loved Sharon, because she’s sassy and direct, but warm, once you get to know her. Plus, she likes the finer things in life, so obviously I adore her.) 

I loved my room, because it was actually a lot huger than I thought it would be. The bathroom was all glittered, modern and utterly ‘darling.’ So in my suite, I had TWO separate bedrooms, but if you walked through the suite, the additional room had two beds in there. Bunk beds…because it was a family suite… There was just me in it though.

All got ready really quickly. Ryan (my agent) showed up in the nick of time, with all of his luggage, that he had to leave in my room. he gets ready. We’ve sozzled all the drinks, in all of the land by this point, as Lisa & I are…

DRINKERS!

Then in a *blink* we all arrive at Peeka Booze, In Blackpool, where we’re greeted by the lovely Liam, who is now all a smiles and probably because he had a drink in his hand.

The place is filled with people, all happy, all fun. Drinks are a flowing, there’s a private VIP area, filled with the yummiest food,  for us all.  Karaoke is going wild. There’s cake. There’s chicken. Lol. There’s loud, loud, madness, that all resonated as..

ONE BIG OLD GOOD TIME.

Now, Aaron (who if you don’t know… is a Pap. A really successful pap & he’s only young. Only 18.) He’s become a really good friend of mine and he shoots me, Lisa, and pretty much everyone…a lot. He was picturing the whole birthday shindig, to sell off to the papers.

Anyway, like I said, drinks were a FLOWING And there was a point where I saw Aaron, put down his camera and with a ‘F*** it* and in the name of fun, joined us, did drinks with us and just celebrated a good old time, in the name of Lisa!

I mean, Lisa’s like I am. She’ll let everyone have fun with her. She’ll love you forever. The door is always open. I mean GOD, when we moved onto ‘Revs,’ she even let a homeless guy (who actually looked quite smart) come sit at the table and drink ginny cocktails with us.

WHICH I THINK IS LOVELY!!!

Manager at Revs: ‘Chrissie, is he bothering you?’

Me: ‘No, not at all.’

Manager at Revs: ‘Lisa… is he harrassing you..’

Lisa, ‘NO!! We’re quite have him sit here with us, thanks. *Points at smart homeless guy* Here drink these cocktails.’

In that moment, he felt really dignified and that’s what I love about Lisa! We’re the same. I don’t care what kinda life you’re walking…I’ll never judge anyone…and neither would she. And we are BOTH SO JUDGED!! 

At the end of the day, we all FEEL things the same way. We all cry. We all laugh. And he was so kind and much older. He deserved dignity. He kinda looked like a homeless Richard Gere/Clint Eastwood.

The bar manager didn’t like him sitting with us though, because obviously he’s running a business and believes it deters others people from wanting to come.

We’d all moved to Rev’s (the next bar) by now, because everyone fancied cocktails.

I’d been hanging out with Ryan (my agent) all night, and between drinks, karaoke songs, pap shots and hugs, we even managed a sit down and a career chat, lol by cocktail sausages, cake, and chicken wings…

Ry: ‘What part of it are we gonna focus on? You choose what it is that you WANT to be, because there’s just so much that you are. I need a contact for ****names a show**** and I’m wanting to fly you off on holiday again, for pictures, in the Summer…You need to choose someone to go with you.’

Me: Where?

Ryan: ‘Anywhere you want. I’ll sort it. So with these pics that Aaron’s done, are we waiting on them…

Me: ‘Yeah, I want them held until the times right…’

Ry: ‘Cool.’

Ryan’s really busy right now and really savvy, but also a really great friend, because he’s such a good time. He’s so happy and so fun! I love that! He’s ace…and now in flipping Thailand!

JEEPERS!

Anyway, cocktails, laughter, birthday wishes…But if you know me personally, you will know that I’m an early leaver. Lol. My best chick friend ‘Firmonnell’ always says it’s my new ‘trademark.’ Lol

I’ll never stay out until the crack of dawn. Once i’m done, i’m done. I have a good time. I love a good time. I’ll live it. I’ll love it. But like ‘Cinders’ herself, by a certain time, i’ll flee..

Because i’m lame, like that…

Keeps me out of trouble. By this time, I wanted a chill. In fact, before I left my hotel room, I’d send ‘Tats’ a whatsapp message, telling him to ‘stay up.’ At midnight I got a…

Tats: ‘You doing?’

And he got a screechy and bustled voice note, that went a bit like this…

‘I’m just getting my last drink at the bar, then i’m off straight back to the hotel.’

The manager of Rev’s was now annoyed that we had the Richard Gere lookalike, homeless dude (lol) sitting with us, ‘Chrissy The MUA’ (yes, the makeup artist had my name, it confused me all night, but she was great), was now calling the manager a ‘stupid b****’...because the manager didn’t like the homeless guy…and well let’s just say, it was fueled by ‘Gin & Juice.’ Lol

They’re all wanting to GO OUT & Stay out and party the night away, in the name of birthdays’ Aaron’s sat with Lisa, they’re both on the cocktails. They’re literally having the bestest of best times…and at this point, seemed pretty soberish? Lol. Matt (who owns The New Osborne hotel) and his beautiful girlfriend Natalia, (who owns her OWN different hotel) had joined us for drinks also…

Ryan had already sloped off to find fun…

Ry: ‘Chrissie, leave me the key, because i’m ff to a club, and my luggage for Thailand is you room. And you always leave early, without telling anyone.’

I looked at Sassy Sharon because she looked like she wanted her comfies on too….and we got a taxi back to Matt’s hotel (he stayed out and gave us the full run of his hotel, whilst he was out,) and by midnight, I had flung until my suite, Room 3, stripped off fully naked and got into bed…

My Premier taxi didn’t turn into a pumpkin…I didn’t lose a glass slipper…and my dress I chose to fling on the floor…

Picked up my phone, had a chill, a quick flirty chat with ‘Tats,’ occurred..but everything was really dark, so i creeped myself out.

Then before you know it,around 1am and with my phone still on my chest, my kitten eyes closes and I drifted off to sleep…

4am

Lisa & Aaron The Pap...come BURSTING INTO MY ROOM….

 

 

 

Blogging, Firmonnell & I’m in the MOOD for a Date

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Morning, my little pieces of ‘love festival.’ I’m feeling great today. There’s a beam around my soul, a tingle down my spine…a glint in my wink…and a sizzle of excitement in the air. I never know what life has in store for me? Who does? Yet, I just know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

(Even though I spent part of yesterday dressed as a Mermaid and that was somewhat alarming on all levels. Yet, a girl’s godda eat…so if work says ‘today you’re mermaid, start pouting for pics,‘ i’m there. I mean, it could be worse, I could be locked in a cellar, with zero chances of  prosecco and without the ability to selfie. Oh & just so you know, the picture above was taken by Insta: @AaronPix.Celebs & I’m pictured with Simone Reed, who has a new boyfriend, who’s apparently friends, with my friends.)

*Ramble Over.*

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So, what are you up to today? Owt or Nowt?

I’m going through quite a busy time right now, (where everyone wants a piece of me,) but like I said, it’s an exciting time, filled with opportunity, so i’m enjoying it. It actually feels like a really lucky time for me, so we’ll see what arises from the glitter pool. I’ll just keep everything crossed in the meantime and try and stay out of trouble. I’m so sorry to all the friends that I’ve had to cancel plans with for work. But honestly, it’s truly quite busy…I’ll come drink with you, always when i’m free.

*Always remind me.*

Who knew that writing a little life blog, could actually place you on some kind of ‘tippy tappy’ pedestal? I’m kinda in shock, but so utterly grateful. Never get that twisted!

I mean, who knew that, when I started typing out my life in LA, almost 10 years ago and simply because ‘D.K’ a middle aged barista (who kept a diary of everything he ate, because he had an eating disorder) told me to…Who knew that masses of people globally, literally on every continent of the world, were soon to be tuning into my life, as I ‘diaried’ along.

It’s nuts.

But what I love about the blog, is that it’s something that people just ‘discover’ out of nowhere, whilst they’re tinkering through their OWN existence. During that time they accidentally cross paths with MY existence…and ‘just like that’ they find THEMSELVES in this story.

It’s magic.

But I must’ve met a lot of people, because i’ll tell you, I’m bloody knackered.

I have an audition this morning, then I might head over to Gino’s Leeds for a quick prosecco to chill. You all know how much I adore that place. It’s certainly my hideaway and they never fail to treat me like  Queen. (Which I adore. Lol)

Remember last year, I got to speak to Gino and got to watch him work, as I became part of the madness during his stage show and launches…I had such a great time. I always go to the Leeds spot, yet when I did Harrogate, I cocktailed and played table football with, Adam Clayton. I don’t know who he plays football for, but he had his girlfriend’s Chanel bag dangling from his neck, who was also playing table footy with us.

There’s just a great spirit in that restaurant…I do drinks there all the time…and in the Summer, you should too! It’s a fun lunch spot.

Anyway, tomorrow, I’m at ‘Creator Hair’ in Sheffield. This time last week..(as if it’s been a week,) I bumped into Sam & Zara at the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event…You all know who Sam Reece is anyway and I love Zara, because she’s sassy and fun. No one does a better ‘resting bitch face.’ I love her for it.

Long story short…and after a few Whatsapp messages…I’m booked in at Creator Hair, (creatorhair.com) tomorrow at noon and Sam is gonna give me a ‘blow.’ 🙂

I just love saying *blow*

I don’t even know what’s gonna happen to my hair, (Hahaha) I just want to see them all again!! I’m excited. It should be fun. I’ll be blogging about my bouji bit of time there and I’ll try and get some really great pictures for ya’ll to see.

I had this mad phone call with my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell’ last night.

(Snapchat Msg)

Me: ‘Omg. When you’re free tonight, fucking call me. I’m stressed. All this shit has happened…and I don’t know what to do!’

It’s hilarious, because when we have a problem, one of us’ll send the other an ’emergency text’….and you can FEEL the ’emergency‘ in the message. We don’t do pleasantries. We just get tot he point.

By nature, we’re both sassy. We’re not lame…So it’s not like we’re all ‘come over to mine, drink tea, do a face mask and we’ll plait each others hair.’ 

It’s more like ‘fuck this, get gin, come now and sort my life out.

Then we’ll have a big verbal *THRASH OUT* where I’ll usually witter on about shit my love life always is, and she’ll solve all my problems, kinda like she’s Oprah, but drunk…

Once solved, she’ll then deliver her mountains of problems.

I never solve her problems. Lol. I’m too selfish. 🙂 Plus, I’m really shit at giving advice. Hahaha! She’s not someone that needs help. She likes tough love. And i’m good at that! 🙂

Witter. Witter. Banter. Banter. Moments where we *pause* to appreciate how wonderful are, in comparison to everyone else is. Lol.  I go bananas! Then we start accusing people of being ‘DULL’

‘Why are they the DULLEST PERSON IN ALL THE LAND. They definitely have shit sex. They’re SO DULL.’

Once that’s been said….

… it always ends with..

‘Well it’s their loss not mine. So I win!’

(Lol. Yesterday’s *Thrash out* was all about the art of ‘WINNING,’ when it’s mixed with this dodgy thing called ‘feelings.’)

Then it’s like we both just hang up on each other, like we don’t care.. Hahaha. Until the next time, my sweet!

I love ‘Firmonnell’ because I can be absolutely, truly 100 percent honest with her. I tell her EVERYTHING. And I never tell people anything! It’s like there’s nothing I can do WRONG, in her eyes…Even when I’ve really sinned and vice versa, there’s nothing SHE CAN EVER DO wrong…without me finding it funny. 🙂

Why can’t I just find a guy like that?

I’m in the mood for a date….Why is no one taking me on a date?

It’s sunny for crying out loud!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girls Are Mental & I’m Feeling Frisky

If I wake up with a cat on my head again, i’m going to be fuming. I’m a glamour puss. I need to wake up calmly….not with something eating… *wink, wink, nudge, pout*……..my head. 😉 Any other form of ‘eating,‘  of course.. with my consent….is fine.

And do know, that i’m not being intentionally meaning to be smutty….I firstly, really do have a pet kitten named ‘Rocco’ who ate my head this morning…and secondly…right now, I feel like i’m on heat! Haha. I’m a proper ‘old aged’ horn ball.

I don’t know what’s wrong? (What’s right!!! 🙂 ) What’s wrong, with me? Maybe i’m wearing too many faux furs, or eating too much protein? Who knows? But my libido button, has certainly been switched to….’WORKING.’ (And i’m naturally excited by sensuality anyway…so you can IMAGINE how i’m feeling right now.)

*Takes the faux fur off. Puts down the chicken drummer.*

HOSE ME DOWN.

Oh and here’s a quick memo for ya….The above paragraph doesn’t mean you all have toslide into my DM’s’ immediately…At least give it an hour. Lol. I might have calmed down by then….

I’m joking. I really am. I might not be a Virgin Princess, yet just because i’m heated doesn’t mean i’m gonna come running, across fields, with my ‘frillies‘ down by my ankles. (Across fields?? Who do I think I am? It sounds so ‘Sound of Music’…if it was a porn?)Even though everything in Wunna land is done with a wild panache. Do know, that I’m the utter Queen of Self Control. I’m good stock, me 🙂

Mwahahaha!

So, it’s maybe five o clock in the morning, I’m in some satin dressing gown, getting my face done, getting ready to shoot and I look down at my phone and I see 44 Whatsapp notifications. 

When I see this, i know it’s from a group chat, something dramatic and 100 percent from the girls. Boys aren’t like that. (Apart from that one time in LA, a million years ago when Corey called me 22 times in a row for kicks. He even sang on one of the voicemails….Voicemail 22 was simply…’This is call 22, Wunna. Let me in.) I actually kinda liked it. I found it funny. He owns a huge Real Estate company in LA now…So I won’t gobble on about it anymore… in case it gets him into corporate trouble. As that would be shit.

Anyway, so I figured the ‘drama’ couldn’t be too dramatic because I only saw two of them for a wine lunch on Friday?

I was wrong.

My chick friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ left her boyfriend, packed a suitcase and is now officially single. (She’s headed to stay at her other chick bestie’s home and has packed a suitcase, containing ALL her life necessities…. which only consists of bikinis and Himalayan Salt Lol… )

I love her for that. I mean, even though it’s probably a really difficult time. The wonderful thing about it all, is that she took a chance and committed to a ‘new chapter.’ She wasn’t scared to find her own piece of happiness…She wasn’t scared to live… and I respect that.

Always go with your gut instinct, Always stay loyal to what makes you happy.

I mean I go on about life all the time and how important it is to fully LIVE IT, enjoy it and take those chances…and people sometimes put fear in your soul, to stop you from finding your own piece of ‘happy.’ They’re own insecurity makes them do that to you.

Don’t be part of a couple that doesn’t fit. If it doesn’t make you smile. If you can’t feel the *spark*… It’s just not worth it…for either party.

Always go with your gut instinct. Always stay loyal to what makes you happy.

To be honest, I don’t actually know what’s going on with the girls right now? I love them madly. But I don’t get to see them so much anymore, because I’ve been SO busy with work. Entertainments got a good *grip* of me right now…and i’m working really hard, things are going great…

Mel: ‘Chrissie? If she’s still alive…Where are you?’

We did have lunch on Friday. (They all seem to be breaking up with their boyfriends for Summer Lol. They’ve labelled it ‘Divorce Club.’)

Here’s snippets:

Me: ‘Honestly, you need to stop. You’re making yourself look crazy. Don’t send him a crazy message, get no reply and then justify the crazy message with an *i’m not crazy, honest* message. Hahaha. JUST STOP TEXTING!!! STOP! TEXTING…NOW!’

‘She’s right, just vent on me instead. Tell ME instead.’

Me: ‘Yeah. I vent on her all the time…It works, then you never send that crazy message! You’ve relieved yourself of the stress.’

‘Remember when you went mental over that golfer!’

‘Was she even hot?’

‘It wasn’t about hottness.. Lol.’

‘And if you’re going to send a crazy message…commit to it. Don’t justify it.’

Me: ‘STOP TEXTING.’

‘I just don’t want him to think i’m creepy. I’m not creepy.’

‘But don’t text him *i’m not creepy* Haha.’

‘Well, yeah, because it obviously makes me sound creepy. But I’ve done it now though.’

Bottom line, girls can’t help it. Whether they’re stalking your ex, pining for your attention…creating fake Facebook profiles…Whatever it is….It can’t be helped. It’s hormones…I think?

I mean, we can’t find a hair bobble, when it’s around our flipping wrist…but we know what you did in 2011, with your Dad in Paris. Lol.

And before you all start…I’m not part of the ‘social stalk club. And the reason why I’m not is firstly because people do it to me ALL OF THE TIME…and CREATE ALL OF THE WRONG JUDGMENTS, before they even know me.

I guy once sat next to me in a bar, a few months ago… when I was with my friends…(he was trying to make me go for a drink with him,) but Googled me, whilst I was STILL SAT THERE and went through my whole entire bits of ‘news,’ out loud, with me…in the weirdest sort of fashion? Didn’t try to get to know me at all? Just read out my life to me…in a CV like fashion.

Now, I don’t mind people looking people up. I do it, ALL the time. We ALL do it, when we meet someone new. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s handy, innit. 😉

BUT I’m polite, so I do it behind your back, 🙂 which makes it okay.

Hahaha. Plus, I was sat right there. He didn’t think to just talk to me, or chat to me, or ask me questions? I liked the attention, but didn’t like the guy. Bad form. Make convo. I mean, men are men, they should know how to win over a girl. It’s human nature.

The second reason why I don’t ‘social stalk’ is because I like to live with my ‘rosie tinted’ specs on, thinking all is okay, fine and dandy. I play the ‘ignorance is bliss‘ game. I don’t look for trouble. Meaning, I won’t ever find it. I’m therefore *blind* to it. Blind and happy, as can be. I don’t wanna know. I also don’t like the sound of a breaking heart. I like an easy life. No stress. Just ‘good times.’

But yeah, chicks are mental. It’s not like you didn’t know that anyway.

I did have a laugh with the girls though, even if they asked me where I sloped off to sometime last month, when we all went to Nat’s birthday…

Me: ‘ Oh, I felt tired…so I said I was looking for you, but just walked out the door and left. Hahaha.’

Hahaha. I ALWAYS DO THAT! Yet, I always tell ONE person…then just slope off quietly. I just needed a sleep. I’d been at fittings all day.

However, I’m glad I did leave now, because they all woke up at my chick friend ‘Double B’s’ house.

One.. found joggers…

‘Who’s random joggers are these?’

One… in the dirtiest crop top ever..

‘What the fuck have you got on? Why does it look like you’ve picked it out of a bin. It has rips and disgusting stains on it.’

‘Double B’ (the hostest with the mostest) apparently woke all the girls up, at the crack of dawn, with her FULL FACE on and in a KIMONO.

Hahahahaha. I’M DYING. I LOVE IT. I WAS SO PROUD. THAT IS SO ME.

Then she had to move her car, so she put joggers on, UNDER HER Kimono and moved her green gangsta Mercedes, so people could do the ‘walk of shame.’

That’s friendship.

I’m glad i went home early and missed it all. Lol.

Cya,

Thank you for following my life. x

 

 

 

Being ‘Filthy,’ Diva Strops & Pity Parties ;)

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How many days has it been? I don’t even know? It’s felt like forever…(let me just check…)

No, it’s fine. Monday was my last post. We’re all good. Well, I assume it was Monday, since it starts ‘Happy Monday,’ but let’s face it, you never know with me.

SO MUCH IS GOING ON…IT IS SUCH A BUSY TIME FOR ME.

I did throw a pity party yesterday. I did well and took it out on my best chick ‘Firmonnell.’

Yippppee!

‘It’s your job now.’

‘I know but…I’m throwing a pity party, just go with it… I feel like a thing and not a human…’

‘You ARE human, in fact you’re the best human I know.’

(I can’t stop adoring ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s someone that no matter what’s going on in her life, she’ll always make you feel better. I’m a bit like that…Yet only she notices it.)

Then I threw a moderate ‘almost’ strop on whatsapp last night, (i’m a feisty one and I like that about me,)  but I felt it in my soul and then swallowed my glitzy pride. I chilled on it a second, with my non diet wine..and even though I wanted to EXPLODE….I 37 year old stopped myself. 🙂

This morning I looked down at my phone and read…

‘How’s the diva doing today?x’

‘I nearly went ‘drag queen’ ape on you..’

‘U little shit…What are u doing?’

I’ve committed to both labels...’diva’ and ‘shit’ ..so yeah, just like that…. I’m altogether fine now.

Honest…

(They say ‘i’m fine’ is the biggest lie all humans tell every single minute of every single day. I could’ve just made that up…) 

I’ve just been asked to fly to Paris, but I can’t go because my work load is intense. I’m about to start my health kick and i’m not going to find the ‘health kick’ part hard…I’m doing to find the ‘dealing with the life stress’ bit hard…and i’m gonna miss my giant cocktail slurps.

I had so much to tell you, but i have no clue where to start or what to say now, which isn’t very handy when you’re a blogger.

I’ve danced in my undies in fitting rooms. (I stated on Facebook that I wanted to see your fitting room frolics. I did mean the girls, and all in the aid of empowerment. But only boys responded… Lol….At least I didn’t get any dick pics. I actually and quite thankfully haven’t received any in ages…THAT DOESN’T MEAN I WANT ANY. Here’s a wacky concept, save them for your wives!

(All I can currently smell around me is roast dinners. Stop eating roast dinners around me. I’m about to start my diet. The middle aged lady at the opposite table needs to watch herself because I might eat HER and her dinner.)

But where was I? I danced in fitting rooms. (GIRLS SEND ME YOUR ‘FITTING ROOM’ SELFIES.) I’ve worked, worked, worked, worked and worked. I had to wake up at 3am this morning to ‘online post’ stuff, to hit the time zones. (See! Told you the graft was that easy.) I forgot to schedule a post…So I had to do it manually..I shocked myself up at 2.30am and remembered. I also blind hand patted around in the dark for wine, but couldn’t find any. I’m that much of a loser.

Ruby and I had ‘mummy night’ last night, (Junior was at Keiran’s, his Dad,) so she slept in my bed and does every Mummy night,’ as ofcourse, as always….there’s just me in it.

She must’ve been having the weirdest 2.30am dream, because still asleep she burst into a fit of mad laughter and then shouted…

‘I HAVEN’T WEE’D MYSELF.’

Lord help me through BOTH OF THEIR teenage years. Rubes is like me, so she’s ll be fun, but fine. She’ll just cry over boys all the time. Junior is such a lad, which will be a nightmare. He is the product of two ‘wild ones.’ Only last weekend, the WONDERFUL security at The Frenchgate Centre, in Doncaster, prevented him from trying to wander off and do his own thing. They had to drag him back to Waterstones…because he was sure there was something more exciting happening around the corner.

Keiran might be a Jehovah’s Witness now, yet when I met him YEARS AND YEARS AGO, he was certainly an Ibiza party boy. (He’ll hate me putting that…But whatever…It’s the truth. 🙂 And there’s no shame in anyone’s game of story. I ain’t hating on you boy! We’re co parent an awesome son.) 

But anyway…There I was on March 7th, 2018…2.30am in the morning…in Yorkshire…

I sat up, naked, in the dark, with ‘Rocco’ my kitten and I posted this…

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Nothing is better to ME than ‘FILTHY SENTIMENTS.’ You should all know this, as I harp on about them all the time. I love how open, naughty, outspoken and fun the brand is! (With a classy twist. Like this isn’t some ‘run of the mill‘ cheapo brand. It’s so styled, so well run and each piece of ‘filth‘ is absolutely divine.)

Anyway, incase you didn’t know…I am now the PROUD OWNER of my very own bespoke ‘Filthy Sentiments’ mug…from their new neon range…

AND I F****** LOVE IT.

Yesterday, ‘Filthy Sentiments’ turned over their FIRST MILLION in sales. They’ve only been in business 3 years…and that IS HUGE, to say they specialize in ‘filthy’ gift cards, mugs, note books, pens and now pj’s. That’s not easy!

So, here I am celebrating with ‘Filthy’ because, if anything I want you to be inspired. That took a great deal of hard work. And with fun brands people don’t think that ‘hard work’ happens, because they just see the ‘fun.’

Someone somewhere, came up with an idea, probably over a drink and BOOM….a million pound later…it worked….and it’s only just the beginning.

That is what I’m celebrating!

(And I loved it because on my Insta & Facebook post this morning, I could swear like a pirate on my post.)

FILTHYSENTIMENTS.CO.UK

Get you bit of FILTH NOW!

OH NO…THE PLACE WHERE I’M BLOGGING IS NOW PLAYING SAD LOVE SONGS…I’m too emosh. It’s reminding me of ‘Dancing on Ice.’

Right now, I have a friend away filming a reality show. Lisa (as in Appleton) was also just on Jeremy Kyle with Lauren Harries this morning. My new school/old school diet and work out matey ‘Kate’ reminded me this morning. I missed it. But i’ll see it on catch up.

I love it when Lisa gets feisty.

All girls are hot when they’re feisty.

It’s important that you always stand up for what you believe is right, even when you might be moderately terrified to do so. Make sure, you’re being treated the way you want to be treated. Make sure, you are always staying LOYAL to what you believe in.

The people that give a shit, will stand by you, understand you and love you madly anyway…

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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Auditions, Daffodils & He’s Nothing Like Mary Poppins…

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I’ve a busy day today, so I’m gonna have to keep this sassy, brief and delightful! I’m auditioning and it’s stressful and mainly because I make it stressful. Lol. I put so much pressure on myself because I’m a lunatic. 🙂 (Code for: ‘I just want to do well and have all my dreams come true.’ We all do! But that’s the problem..In my world…everyone wants the same thing.)

Yipppeee!

But, you get what you get and you don’t get what the ‘The Gods’ believe isn’t right for you. I’m actually feeling quite good right now after Whatsapp messages to someone I hold in my highest regard.

I was all pathetic and nervous and trying to sort out my mindset… I’m honest, so i’ll tell anyone exactly how I feel about everything….and he swooshed on in with motivation at the exact right time.

He’s like Mary Poppins…but not nothing like Mary Poppins, AT ALL? Lol. (Bare with me…I’ve gone insane???) What, I’m trying to say is that he spoon fulled me the ‘truth sugar,‘ from one of the most positive angles and in order to gear me up for a ‘smash it,’ bonanza. He did it briefly and real. Not fakey and flourished. (It’s an attractive trait. Kinda made me want to ‘tickle his fancy.’ I love motivational people…not the ones that go on and on… for hours, but the ones that are real and tell you stuff from their own actual life experience…It’s sexy. It always makes me think they’re also really organised…and in the future….I imagine my Knight in Shining Armour to be dead organised….That way they can organise my scattiness.)

ANYWAY….. ( I got distracted…)

Just like that, I felt MIGHTY. The motivational medicine went down a treat…and sometimes it’s all you need…. and with a…

‘Good luck babe…you will smash it…’

I was sorted.

(Why am I currently getting a flash back of Junior misguiding his standup wee?)

‘GET IT IN THE LOO!!! It’s spurting on the floor!’

Monday was great because I got to hang with my girl bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ Miss you Monday turned ‘real life’ and we got to catch up and chat about our world’s combined, as people played with blue and white balls around us and other’s decided to ski.

I always miss her madly, so when we talk, we talk….We get lost it in with a passion. There was a moment where in which we had gotten so ENTHRALLED in our conversation, whilst stood up by a coffee counter…that we forgot we were stood up by a coffee counter and were suddenly awaken by the Barista with a…

‘Do you want chocolate sprinkles on that?’

‘Eh?’

‘Oh shit! Yeah..’

‘Why are you not using the sugars I got you?’

‘I thought they were yours?’

‘What…EIGHT OF THEM.’

‘Let’s sit down..’

Good catch up…Then our other friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ tried to steal my Bestie from me, by presenting her with Daffodils and kindness.

Firmonnell: ‘Hustle’s my new bestie now! She bought me this..’

(Produces photo of daffodils and other loving thoughtful stuff.)

Me: EWW! Why is she stealing my bestie! How dare she be thoughtful. That’s fine. you two can go have a really delightful Vegan time together. I’ll make new friends, with like… Olivia off Love Island.’ Fucking Daffodils.’

Firmonnell: ‘What you buying me?’

Me: ‘Don’t you dare try and game me with the *WHAT YOU BUYING ME’ trick.’

(I’m scarred! It’s not like I haven’t already been on the flipping telly… where I was put through HUGE challenges every single moment of every single day, with a camera in my face…in the name of ‘Hilton.’ Touchy subject, a friendship battle..innit.) 

Anyway, great day with ‘Firmonnell.’

‘See you next week? I’m parked over there…’

Me: ‘Can you at least MAKE LIKE YOU NEED ME…’

Miss you Monday’s‘ are the best!

I’ve actually really super dooper need to go! Shit! My hair needs doing. Just wanted to say..

THANK YOU SO MUCH..

To everyone who is engaging with Wunna Land. My ‘Socials’ have been a delight and i’m grateful. It kinda makes me feel all appreciated. Thank you to those watching my ‘Garden gallop’ video gram. So many people have messaged me asking if it was my actual garden? Random question?

But…yes…I’m not going to gallop, open shirt topless in someone else’s garden. Lol. Well? I might? Depends on where life takes me?

Just quickly, I’ve also noticed that people are getting into ‘banter spats’ on my Facebook Fan Page….Just so you know…regardless. I adore y’all! If it wasn’t for your engagements…this land would not be worth it..and I never take that for granted.

It’s pretty rubbish weather today. It’s almost like the skies can’t decide what to do? I want Summer, or at least Spring to shimmie on in now. I don’t like this inbetweeny weather. I’m not grey. I’m not a fence sitter. I need a choice. It effects my outfits. 😉

Before I tinker off…The other day, after a shoot, I stopped to have a chitter with one of my good friends Scott…It was a phone interview and I was sat in my car, at night, in my pyjamas…. But please to click below and take a listen….We’re talking celeb gossip, my time on the Hilton show, ‘behind the scenes’ glamour modelling and my dating life..

I’ve godda go!

Thank you for following my life….

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friendship, Fights & The Backroom Leeds

Just the most amazing time in the city last night. I cherished, good times. No! Great times…with the people who I will always regard as my absolute closest . (Until I’m a superstar and never speak to them again. 😉 We’re like family and I’ve honestly had a great 2017 because of them.

I love the little swines and i’m really really lucky. I mean, not many people, in my position or way of life have a close bundle of friends, that the can trust and rely on. I do! We’re all really different from one another, yet each add a certain spice to the pot. If you have a problemo, a secret, a love….you’ll know which friend in the group to turn to…and in their own magical way, over cocktails, a cuddle, a whatsapp message, a warm dinner, a new set of heels, or a tissue….they’ll be right by your side, picking up the pieces.

I’m currently in Ego, Ackworth, sat infront of a huge mirror, with a half of Fosters, writing this blog….

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I adore a good mirror seat. One where it looks like I have my back to you, but I can see EVERYTHING.  My vanity gets the better of me. Yes. I’ll admit that. However, I also love the stories that mirrors tell. I’ve watched women with party hats and light up Christmas jumpers wander behind me. Business men. Families. Lone Rangers with quiet pints. Grown adults in weird Elf hats. Girls all a gossiping. And awkward humans on first dates. I love a mirror in the midst of a ‘busy bustle.’ It’s always so magical. Always so glamourous.

But anyway, last night I was out in the city…

As the story goes, the day turned to night. I had had a somewhat stressful day of ‘rushy.’ I HATE RUSHING. I’m a glamour puss. I do things in my own manner, with my own panache and at my own pacing. Not yesterday though. Fuck. I dashed to three cities, running errands, doing meetings, making sure Ruby & Junior were enjoying every inch of their Christmas holidays. I had a deadline. I needed to be ready. Then after the fastest totter, a warm bath, placing my phone on charge and a slip into my silver sequinned dress from the Kourtney Kardashian line for Pretty Little Thing….I dashed out the door, twinkled through the night sky, jumped in a taxi..

Driver: ‘I’m sure I’ve driven you around before. I remember your voice.’

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And Whatsapped ‘Double B’ with a…

‘I’m 3 mins away from yours…’

We drank wine out the bottle, all the way to ‘Firmonnells,’

Double B: ‘How many people do you reckon you’ve slept with?’

Me: ‘Why are they like cardboard cut outs?’

Double B: ‘They’re just Vanilla..’

(I once referred to one of my exes as ‘vanilla.’ He was in a boyband and I’d just come off a tv show for ITV2.  To this day he says I apparently broke his heart? However, surely if you say ‘I don’t want us to be together anymore Chrissie because I’m gay’ that would mean that no hearts were broken in the process. Well, maybe my heart? 😉

He said he loved me madly, yet never messaged me when we broke up because he didn’t know what to say. I just took that as ‘oh he doesn’t care’ and I was fine with that. You can’t MAKE someone love you. You can MAKE someone care about you. Yet ‘true love’ is a whole different potion. If they feel you in their spirit….they will always find their way back to you.

Yiddley Doooooooo!

Anyway, Double B and I apologized to the driver for making him listen to our sexy girl banter AAALLLLLL the way to ‘Firmonnells.’ Yet he assured us he LOVED IT.

Driver: ‘It’s made my night girls.’

We were joined by ‘Fairytale Blond’ and a bit of ‘Mama Sally.’ We did wee’s, drank prosecco, borrowed jackets, exchanged gold clutches and found ourselves on our way to Leeds city centre…our city….yet via THE SINGLE MOST AMAZING train station ever. I’ve never travelled from Garforth before. THEY SERVED BOTTLE PROSECCO, IN BOUJI PLASTIC CHAMPAGNE FLUTES, THROUGH A WINDOW ON THE ACTUAL PLATFORM!!! I know!!! It’s absolute BLISS! All you have to do is buy a bag of crisps with it (because you are only allowed booze with food) and you’re plain sailing and en route to Leeds, with a happy prosecco jiggle.

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With our drinks, in our dresses, with our heels in place and whilst the girls decided to MAKE FUN of my WONDERFUL peacock phone cover.

Double B: ‘What the fuck is that!!’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s fucking horrible.’

Me: ‘SHUT UP! The loveliest phone man gave it to me FOR FREE today, for a selfie, you dicks! I love it!!’

(It’s a golden peacock with diamante studs and multi coloured gems scattered throughout its tail. Lol I actually really do LOVE IT. They despise it and think it looks tacky, because they’re ‘haters’ and can’t handle my glamourisms. They even made a guy on the train tell me that he hated it too! Haha! What dicks)

Anyway within a second we pulled into Leeds, they’re all running like wild women to meet the rest of the group, and i’m trying to catch up, as i’m spilling my prosecco all over me and some guy in a hat with chatting to me about…can’t even remember really? If Santa was a chimney sweeper, it would be him. He was lovely!

Long story short. All met up at a train station bar…who wouldn’t let everyone in because they had reached capacity. It was THAT BUSY. The rest of the girls joined the group and the boys joined us also. Then through the busy city streets, we all walked up ‘hand in hand’ to Backroom Leeds, as ‘Firmonnell’ and I tried to decide if we were actually lesbians?

Me: ‘But I really DO fancy Ellen Degeneres.’

Firmonnell: ‘But what about when you need a penis in you after they’ve…’

The Backroom was great! It’s a small decadent, ‘speakeasy’ bar on Call Lane. Plays the best music. Has a private outdoor terrace. And we had the whole downstairs floor/bar, to ourselves, as our own. It was just for us, our whole group and that was that.

The night was AMAZING.

Slowly but surely, everyone we knew trickled in, piece by piece, a wink at time, the boys in shirts, the girls in short dresses and heels. We love to glam it up…so each ‘trickle’ was dressed to the nines, straight to the bar and with ‘good time’ glint in their eyes. It’s always great when it’s just us, because anything goes, no one will judge and we can all pretty much surrender to the art of celebrating life, the year and friendship….. in the most pissed fashion, forget to eat the yummiest finger food and with all the free drinks that our tokens will allow us.

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We danced, we flirted, we booty popped, we ‘dutty wined,’ we let loose, we turned wild, we snapchatted, we kissy cheeked, we all thought we were sexier than we probably were and we DRANK….we fucking DRANK! Hustle Barbie fell on the floor AGAIN…took ‘Fairytale’ and ‘Double B’ with her. Lol

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Hustle Barbie: ‘It’s my new thing.’

Cuddles and kisses and sequins and hip hop tracks.

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Mood lighting, shots, hair tosses and fresh air terraces.

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Gossips, lies, drama and whispers….

At one point i think my whole entire top fell down for a second, due my excessive booty dance routine. I have no booty, so I have to really work at the back shimmie. Caused boobies to fall out because my dress was too big…Nobody cared. They loved it.

Me: ‘What! It’s because i’m a VEGGIE NOW. I’ve lost weight, but it’s come off my FLIPPING BOOBS!’

Webbo & Jonsez & Dipper & New Boys! They were all really lucky, because we chicas has already hit ‘good time’ and wine bottles, so like props we used the boys for flirts and dance floor swizzles. Hot new faces kept appearing out of nowhere. I backed up and a hot face was behind me. I walked forward and another new hot face greeted me. I even got a cheeky bum grab. (I love a bum grab at 30 something. It’s naughty. It’s fun. It’s a good way to get me to notice you….and he was REALLY HOT. Super handsome.)

Lots of ‘Hollyoaks’ style drama occurred last night. It went from whisper to whisper, to confrontations, to verbal fights. It went from learnt lessons, to hearts breaking, to no judgements and personality clashes. It went from stories told, to secrets revealed and tests of friendships and truth telling.

‘You can sleep with who you want to sleep with. I don’t give a shit! Own it.’

‘Why is she blanking me. I haven’t done anything wrong.’

‘This is ridiculous!’

‘Yeah…I already knew that. We all did!’

‘I just love her and I don’t stand a fucking chance.’

‘Just stay away from me. Don’t come near me. What do you think you’re…’

‘Who told you that??’

‘You need to man up…’

‘You else do you fancy?’

‘He’s done now…’

‘I’m leaving. This is fucked up.’

‘If she comes up to me again, whilst i’m trying to talk to you…I’m gonna..’

‘Don’t judge people on shit…Whocares..’

‘I can’t deal with this. Do you want a shot?’

‘She won’t even speak to me now.’

‘I don’t care what you’ve done…’

‘You’re beautiful. Am I stalking you?’

‘This is the last time i’ve ever going to get to dance with you…’

‘You’re new. You’re hot. Are you on Insta?’

‘Who does she think she is!!!’

‘How is this ALL MY FUCKING FAULT.’

[Echo….Echo…Echo….Echo….]

*STOP*

And even though all of the snippets above occurred, this is what I noticed…I noticed that  every single one of us were close. That every single one of us chose to prioritise ‘good times’ over drama. We danced, we laughed, we gave zero fucks. I noticed that in the end, enjoying our friendships with each other, is what we chose to make matter…and THAT is what makes us a family. (Moderately dysfunctional…but s….we’re fly. 😉 )

The clock struck 3am. Time flew by us. We didn’t even realise how fast it has flown!

‘AS IF IT’S 3AM!!! WTF!’

‘Don’t leave…come back..’

‘Come to Fibre with me…’

‘Get in my Uber.’

‘Don’t leave me..’

I had stayed in the private section at Backroom ALL NIGHT, so I didn’t actually realise how busy the place has got upstairs. I walked up to the open air terrace holding Double B’s hand…and it was RAMMED. It was MENTAL.

A guy stopped me with a,

‘Are you Chrissie Wooonaaa?’

‘Yeah…yeah…why?’

‘Do you remember me…?’

‘Jake?’

(I didn’t know if it was Jake… 🙂 )

Yet the crowd took us into different directions and as I sat on the terrace, chatting to ‘Double B,’ under the night stars…(I’m doing a lot of the night stars of recent, aren’t I..)

I watched Jonesez look at me, with all the heartbreak of the world in his eyes…as he stood up off, from the side of the terrace and walked away slowly, with his head all a muddle….

It snowed today…which means there’s magic in the air….

All I know about life is that there are MORE UPS, than there are downs. More GOOD TIMES, than there are bad. And that ANYTHING can happen in a moments wink of an eye….Dreams come true. Life is only has hard as you make it.

It’s the ones of us who can ‘surf that crest.’ The ones of us who stand by what we love and believe is right, for OUR OWN VERSION of existence that get the most out of the world and what’s on offer.

I’ll remember these people for the rest of my life….

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In FIVE DAYS….FOR ME…..

EVERYTHING CHANGES…..

Chrissie x

 

Fights, Willies & Wunna Land

Life is currently great! I am in THE BEST mood ever. Technically, last week I was a jazzy bit hormonal, however now i’m all roses and winks. I’ve surfed the wave, had a word with myself and now i’m  back on the winners track. Things are great! I’ve had a lot on my mind over the last few weeks. Those niggly things that need to get sorted, that you box and ‘pretty bow’ to the back on your head in merry ‘trying to not deal with’ storage.

‘I’ll deal with them later.’

After a chat, a sprinkle of finally taking my life by the reins again and committing to only doing the things that make me smile, I kinda felt like an entire burden had been lifted from me by ‘The Gods’ (hot ones in togas)…and it came as a shock, because I didn’t think that brief moment of chat or decision making would make me feel as happy as it did. I as kinda scared of it. Yet if anything, in that moment I PROVED that you should only do the things that you love. The things that you were made for. If you don’t or if what you’re doing doesn’t eventually lead or guide you to where you see your future…If it doesn’t help your future at all…then not only are you wasting your time, but you’ll never feel fulfilled. You’ll miss your happy place. I’M actually talking about work in this case, yet this goes for literally anything..be it work, love or life…which we all seem to take for jolly granted.

This year, I’ve committed myself to taking chances, doing what I love, focusing on work and falling in love. I’ve changed a lot and it’s been nothing short of amazing. It makes you feel powerful. And it’s that feeling of internal POWER that makes you successful. Why? Well, because you’re happy IN ALL AREAS of your life. If you don’t have the ‘snazzle’ of everything, in balance, then you are wibbly. And when you’re wibbly, you fall much faster. 😉

Let me take you back to Friday….

Me: ‘Who is she even messaging…?’

Double B: ‘Some guy…she’s stalking him…’

Me: ‘Why are you secretly stalking him…Lol? You’re literally rewatching his Snapchats lovingly, with gentle creepy smiles.’

Hustle Barbie: ‘I can’t help it! Haha. He’s so…He’s just a baby though. Too young.’

Me: ‘What happened to funny Bald Dave or whatever he’s called?’

Hustle B: ‘No, i’ve gone off him now. He’s not being responsive! HAHAHAH!’

(It’s hilarious because Hustle Barbie is an extremely attractive blond. She’s hot. Guys fancy her. They buy her gin and lillies. And Funny Bald Dave…who she stalked for a bit because he was…well funny… DON’T ASK…in my mind… would be PUNCHING AND THEN SOME….So if Hustle Barbie was to send you a message…you’d probably respond immediately…Surely you would? I don’t get it Bald Dave. She’s going through this weird phase of internet stalking the lesser male. Hahahah.)

Double B: I had sex last night. First time in FOUR MONTHS.’

Me: ‘Look at you! Hahaha. You actually gave him some? Why? What happened?’

(Double B has been in this longterm 3 year relationship with ‘J’, who I think is hilarious. They are both so ideally suited, and part of a young ‘let’s spend thousands of pounds at *Ralphies* in 3 hours’ couple. Such a great match. She never gives him sex though…and he still adores her madly. EVEN THOUGH, he definitely wants a bit of nookie.)

Double B: ‘I dunno. I just felt sexy…’

Hustle Barbie: ‘…because we were all talking about sex yesterday.’

Double B: ‘ I wanted it , so just grabbed his willy. It’s put me in a good mood. I should do it more often.’

Me: ‘Why don’t you have sex with him?’

Double D: ‘Cos it usually lasts about a minute..’

Me: ‘Cos you never give him any…’

Hustle Barbie: ‘I always know when Alex wants sex, because he’ll come out the shower and leave his clothes off and then lay on the bed butt naked…It’s normal to not have sex when you’ve been together for a long time.’

Me: ‘No it’s not! Lol. The longer you’re with them, the better sex gets.’

Double B: ‘I’m definitely having sex more often. He’s just text me to tell me that he’s taking me out to dinner now.. Did you know that when men get older their willies get darker…!!’

Me: ‘No they don’t….Haha.’

Hustle B: ‘What dya mean darker? How old?’

Double B: ‘Like at 70…the older they get, the darker their willy gets.’

Me: ‘How do you know what a 70 year olds will looks like? They’re not white and all of a sudden have a big black willy. Lol’

Hustle B: ‘I’m snapchatting this…. Say it again…’

And she did…that’s what I love about Double B….she’s ever the showman…as am I!!!! She’ll perform in the name of humour and it’s GREAT!

Me: Ugh…I’ve got to try and build my Instagram following….’

Double B: ‘Is that why you’re posting so many selfies…Lol..’

Me: ‘Yes…Hahaha. Add me! Add me! Love me! Love me!’

I sailed into the weekend…The suns out….It’s now Sunday, but I sorted another little ‘niggly’ mind box out before the weekend sprung…and again felt much better for it. I’ve made loads of decisions, ‘cut and dry’ ones over the last 2 days…and It’s made me BEAM because i chose to stay loyal to what I believe is right.  I’m quite composed and I’ll never really let people see what’s going on when they’re around me if i DO have ‘niggly’ bits going on in my head. That’s why I find it easy to write things out, because you can’t actually see me. Lol. In person i’m fun loving, laid back and pretty much always positive…I’m a laugh…Yet, I never left people see me ‘not okay.’ But one of the great things about me, is that I make decisions quickly. I always know what i want and when I know, I will whole heartedly commit to it.

Saturday morning felt wonderful. I was gleefully wallowing in the happiest of moods. I felt glamourous. I felt powerful. I felt like I had everything under control. I had a meeting, went through the Wunna Land plan. I never tell you my plans, as I always think you shouldn’t…as in a ‘Social’ climate you have to be able to meander and change plans accordingly at a drop of a stiletto. I’m fluid like that. But I’ve been patient and i’m not always too patient. I’ve learnt to be. I now don’t strike before i’m ready. I’ve spent a good amount of time ‘building’ Wunna land and make sure, I’m mot steady on my heels, but SOLID on them, so I stay on my feet. I sipped a couple cocktails. I’ve concentrated on what I’m doing and not what anyone else is doing…

Meeting: ‘Who else do you know…that you can name off the top of your head, literally off the top off your head, who is doing what you’re doing…as well as you’re doing it…..right now?’

Me: ‘Well…

Meeting: ‘And I don’t mean bloggers and all sorts…There’s tons of people trying their luck at it all …and I don’t even mean people who are different to you, who are doing it extremely well…I mean IN YOUR NICHE…’

Me: ‘Well no one…I can’t think of anyone at the top of my head. I mean there must be someone? I just haven’t really searched for a rival of sorts. I’ve just been zoning in on what I’m doing, not what they’re doing…and the shit thing is, I don’t read anyone else’s blog. That’s not true, I read one and i’ve been reading a whole bunch of memoirs. But there’s room for everyone…it’s Cyberland…There isn’t just one good blog about this one thing…on the whole of the internet.’

Meeting: ‘In Cyberland….in life in general….that’s true. In business….and you’ve turned your life into a business…IN YOUR NICHE…there is only room for ONE. You’ve done it the exact same way, that I did, you found your own way…again in a niche that is unique to yourself. You’ve made something old school, like diary writing.. MODERN.  In business, there’s room for one…there’s always a Bride and a Bridesmaid.’

Luckily, I’ve been a Bride millions of times…Lol…so I think I have this down.

A great meeting with my mentor. He is a very successful person, a very famous person, I knew them personally waaay before anyone did, when they began their own little blog, that they turned into a multi million dollar business. It’s good to have someone who has done what you’re , believe in you madly. Not only does it make you feel guided, but it makes you strong.

Then I got dressed, sent a Whatsapp message to ‘The Swirl’ wishing him good luck and better ribs…I like him. I find him really interesting….I’m hooked…..and with a stroke of my new baby kitten Rocco, I ventured into the world…to live!

It’s now Sunday. I watched the Mayweather/McGregor fight. I rooted for Mayweather all the way. I love a champion and I kinda didn’t want his Champion title to get smudged. He’s really the only one that had anything to lose. McGregor is good at what he does, they’re both great at what they do. Yet he’s not a boxer and well he was GREAT PR when it came to getting folk excited. They both made a shit ton of money and life is still great.

I love the Live  Celeb quotes from the fight that night…Like 50 Cent who watched McGregor cuddling Mayweather from behind, for a moment, was like, 

‘What the fuck is going on…..Haha….Okay Floyd, just knock this fool out.’

I like that he went in for a bit of a cuddle. He’s hard out there in that ring. Lol. Wait…I’ve made that sound rude by accident.

But even better, Jamie Foxx (who once gave me advice in LA on ‘how to handle boys, now i was bouji’ lol) posted an ace Instagram video about his choice of Fight Shoe, which was a  Gucci Fur Slipper. Lol. You need to watch it. It’s hilarious and fricking FOLLOW ME, whilst you’re at it.

Bloody hell. 🙂

 

It’s All About Life Magic & Vino

Rinalidi’s in Wakefield was great on Tuesday evening. Kinda feels like it was a million glitter years ago now, as life has swirled into a glorious, yet easy going ‘busy’ mode So much has happened. I’ve pretty much flittered all over the merry land this week, armed with winks, heels and charm. Let’s just say, I received the best ‘good news’ any little kitten could ever receive. The kinda news that fills your entire soul with a magical unexpected *gush* of happiness, a flow of exuberant glee. It shocked me, but meant so much to me because it pretty much made me cry. I trickled little happy tears and because it felt like a dream come true.

I feel really lucky right now and i’m lucky by nature, that’s for sure, yet right now I’m REALLY lucky and have no clue why? So whenever you hear people tell you (including myself) that things in work and love and anything in between is all only down to hard work, know that it’s not true. There is ALWAYS something more that is completely out of control that swirls through the air around you like magic and it’s that ‘ooh laa’ that is far more powerful that any kind of hard work you put in. (But do put in the work. Otherwise…well you’re foolish.)

But yes Tuesday at Rinaldi’s was great. The food there is actually delicious. Better than I thought it would be? The service was divine…even though everyone kept looking at me oddly whenever I scanned the room.It was almost like they had a private joke that I wasn’t in on. Lol. But again…it was great. I sipped a whisky sour, as I chatted about life, added wine to the order and delighted in my cabonara. Time zoomed by and before you know it, it was Wednesday and it was work time.

Everything’s busy. All’s a bustle. But i’m making time for all the things that matter to me now. I’m really balanced and i’m in control of the tinkering. I’m feeling WONDERFUL. Everything feels WONDERFUL. I never thought that I could feel this special. (And not in a weird ‘special’ kind of way. 🙂 ) However, I was shattered throughout Wednesday, as I just wanted my work day to be over. When I’m tired, i’m quiet. When I’m quiet…everyone thinks something is wrong. Lol. But it’s certainly not. It couldn’t be FAR from the truth.

On Thursday I headed down to London from Doncaster for a day of filming. I was so glamourous that all the way down. I literally smashed my head against the window continuously for an hour straight as I train napped with my mouth open. Lol. I love a good train sleep. When you’re travelling on your own for work, things are always boring. At least i got there in one piece…and ear wigged into other people’s conversations. (Some 17 year old girl who was very ‘Made in Chelsea’ was chittering to another posh boy about how her Daddy had just given her £10,000 for doing well at school. His Dad had also apparently given hi £10,000 also. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, then returned to my kitten nap.)

Ooh! Sorry. I’ve just reading my Whatsapp messages…Hang on…

But yes, filmed all day on Thursday. Really fantastic. Ofcourse i’m not going to tell you anything about it. Nothing whatsoever. 🙂 However, do know that I loved my time there and again, I can’t believe how much I seem to just be LIVING right now. Snippets of my life are currently so different and so surreal that when you piece them together, it’s almost unbelievable.

I guess, last year I dropped the jigsaw and this year I not only found all the pieces but I picked them up and pieced them back together  perfectly, yet with my fingers crossed and without a clue. Then that ‘life magic’ came in and gusted over it with love….and from that point onwards…THIS point onwards, as ofcourse I had a dodgy start 😉 I ALWAYS have a dodgy start I do them well……It  has been a dream. (I don’t even know what my chicks friends are thinking of it all? We haven’t really spoken about it too much. They’re just witnessing the change. I think we’re all just in shock. I’m in shock.)

‘You’re actually going to do this Wunna…’

Hang on…more Whatsapp messages….

Friday was a day of work and GOSH i was shattered  did that quiet thing again, but my heart was filled with love. I am BUZZING right now and i wish you could feel it. As soon as my phone *pings* my eyes shoot down to it and I beam. Things are great!

I’ve been in Doncaster all weekend with the babies. I’ve spent loads of time with them of recent and again it’s been wonderful. I mean GOD, this is the time where all those moments when i’ve had to miss the little things due to work commitment and money making, has finally made it worth it.  Love matters to me more than anything in the world. I write about it daily. And it’s funny because when you focus of love, be it around family, work or something more personal…something romantic, you have our priorities correct because it fills you with a cray BUZZ that is undeniably powerful and when you feel that way, you can conquer anything, you vibrate on a good energy…..I have that right no, that’s why i’m lucky.

But anyway, Doncaster for the weekend. My home town. I’ve been chatting to Shaun, who owns Prosecco Pit Stop. One of my favourite refuel stations. Lol. The kids even love it. They couldn’t be lovelier to me at Prosecco Pit Stop. Infact i think I owe them Prosecco money? Lol. Shaun is opening a new bar at Victoria Gate Leeds, where Issho and East 59th Bar currently reside and I cannot WAIT. I’m gonna champion that place like it’s home. I sat with him and chatted about business, the bar, PR and all sorts before I jumped on my 12.17 train to London. I’m very excited about his bar because he’s very excited about it. Excitement is contagious. I love it when people are passionate and moving forward with the things that the love. I hate it when people are pretentiously happy. We’re northern that’s not how we roll. It’s man to man, heart to heart.

OOh? I’ve just got a message from Jen in Paris..

‘Hi Christina! It was great to meet you in London. I have your clutch that you left in the room. It looks like it has some items you may need, including your drivers license… Give me your address so I can send everything back to you!’

Hahah. I’m such a shit. I love organised people.

Anyway, other than time with the babies, all weekend the best Whatsapp messages, lunch at Zest n Doncaster (I go with Ruby and Junior because they love the ‘press the alert’ button.) Afterwards we chilled it at Ego in Ackworth, (I go there all the time) and as always the service was completely AMAZING. They totally had an Arts & Craft bonanza table on Saturday afternoon and the babies LOVED IT. I mean, when staff sit with your bambinos and glue pigs to glitter boards, whilst you watch on and sip gin before the big ‘Mum can we go outside and run around…’ you know you’re in the best place ever.

I love a bit of Ego. You all know that though. I literally tinker across there always. Go there and you’ll find me with my salted rimmed margarita.

Anyway, I need to finish this wine and head off. I’m currently blogging from The Mallard in Doncaster, in the Frenchgate Centre.

Staff: ‘You haven’t been in here in ages.’

Me: ‘I was here yesterday? I was here in the morning dong wine before London trains on Thursday!’

Life is good and what I learnt over the last few days is that you really can have faith in people and they really will follow through upon the journey where their heart takes them. Some people will talk the talk and others will display the notion that Actions always speak louder than words.

I love you,

Chrissie

ps. Thank you for following my life.