Hope you’re having the most beautiful Thursday! Going well for you? I truly hope so. You all deserve a bit of love, luck and happiness. And thank you so much for finding you way to Wunna Land. It’s utterly much appreciated.
I’m quite dandy today and I don’t really know why? But i’m kinda brimming over with the ‘joy joys’ and I love it when that happens, because it’s such a great feeling. It fills my sorry ass soul with light.
You won’t know this, but every morning in Wunna land, Ruby, Junior (my babies) and I are woken up by a hand picked song, that plays and fills each room in the house. I believe it puts us all in a good mood. I’m a huge music lover. And even if you’re hungover, it’s ace, because it makes you think the party is still going on.
Today’s choice was by my five year old, Baby Junior and it was this…So i’m gonna put it on for you, so you can feel today’s vibe…
*Hit Play Now.*
Then KatyP sends me a whatsapp message stating that we should pack up boxes of super strength dildos, make sure the boxes are labelled ‘SUPER STRENGTH DILDOS‘ and drop them outside each of our friends doorsteps.
KatyP: ‘Claire would expect it to be full. Lol.’
Me: ‘It’s fine, we can just chuck in a couple of kitchen knives and say it’s bondage or summat.’
KatyP: ‘We’ll put a soap on a rope in there too..’
Me: ‘And a teddy to cuddle, for after the ordeal.’
Then she gave me a list of Adult Cereals that went along the lines of ‘Fifty Shades of Grain/Special D/Porn Flakes/Rice Friskies’ that I could consider munching, as I’m actually a breakfast skipper. (I just do coffee and selfie taking and yeah lol…it’s really bad for your system. You should always have breakfast.) My favourite was ‘Cheery Hoes.‘ So if I do ever consider eating before 9am…
They’d be my first choice of delight.
Away from that, I loved Love Island last night. I still fancy Adam. I don’t know why some people don’t. He’s far too attractive to not adore and his personality, to me… is on point. Like I don’t care if he’s sweet, but egotistical, kind, but cocky…In general, I love that in a guy. I love a guy with ‘gusto.’
Y’know, when they know what they want and how to get it. It not only means they’ve used their brain, yet also learnt along the way of life…and studied girls with a sly carefulness. I don’t mind a guy who fancies himself as a bit of charmer, but only when it’s executed well. I like ‘smooth’ not cheeky. Cheeky is young. ‘Smooth’ is grow ass man. I like a soft gentleman, mixed in with a delicious roaring swag. I go for sexy. I love sexy.
I still fill as though the Doctor is gonna get pied off by Rosie, ‘The Solictor’ though. I mean, she used date Jordan Weekender…which means she’s gonna swoop on in for MY ADAM. Haha. Hurrah!! Poor Alex.
I had ace chats about this with my chickadee Zara (who works at Creator Hair in Sheffield) late last night. I think we decided we loved each other and then decided that all men were twats.
Why are they though? We’re proper catches!
Then we talked about cougars and how every young guy goes through his ‘cougar phase.‘ I’m not agest by any means. I can’t afford to be emotionally. Lol.
However, I’ve always ended up with a toyboy. I don’t know whether that’s because i’m the oldest girl in the world, living a young life or because I’ve never found an older man, (apart from ONE..who is my mate ‘Trigg’ who i find extremely attractive. I mean, for 42, he’s a looker. You should stalk his Insta: Simon T Trigg. It’s a grow up girls treat.)
Me: ‘I don’t think a 20 something guy would ever really seriously consider being with a 30 something yr old girl…long term..’
Zara: ‘You’d be surprised…’
Me: ‘I just don’t think, they’d look to settle down with someone quite a bit older, in the end…It’s just a phase for them. Yeah, we’re by far better women, all grown up, no drama and better in bed…
Zara: ‘When you’re in Sheffield at the end of the month. I know you’ll already have somewhere to stay, but feel free to stay at mine. Oh shit. Wait. And that’s not because you’ve just said you’re good in bed. Hahahahahahaha.
I love Zara. She’s ace. When she first met me, (at the Weaves & Waves event in Leeds, she came with Sam etc) she didn’t like me and was certainly unsure, then hours in… she thought I was okay and finally, at the very end of the night, she decided she did. I literally love her. I find her funny, she makes my evil soul fill with laughter. She’s a good find. Aw! Yeah and I saw that Sam BURNT HIS HEAD with straighteners today on his Insta story…
‘Mr. Assured Chrissie Wunna, that HE NEVER BURNS ANYTHING, whilst doing hair.’
All he did was emoji piss himself at me…then got on with life.
(Ooh, i’ve just got a message in from ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s one of my chick besties, but she’s in France..camping. Once sec, let me see what she’s got to say, because I miss her…)
It was a snapchat of her face with flower filter ears, Lol…with text reading..
‘Thought you might miss my face…’
Why can’t guys be as thoughtful as girls? Why are we girls all so attentive with one another, yet when we date, the guy’s we’ve chosen (aside from KatyP, who has the most romantic ‘Golfer Jonny’…even though she’s *six day* sore..) are FAR LESS so…? Why are relationships always hard work? They shouldn’t be. But maybe it’s me. That’s why I’M single…always. Lol.
I do love, love and i’m a hopeless romantic. But honestly, where is he? I know we’re not meant to have a perfect man in our heads. But I’m quite happy being single until that man rocks up..I don’t think i’m a bad woman. I think i’m a great woman. And my imaginary perfect man, isn’t made up of a list like most girls, it is all based upon how he would make me FEEL. That’s all I care about. Alongside handsome, sexy and stable.
I love eye candy. It’s always been a part of me that’s been really shallow.
I will always want to be with a really attractive man, provided his personality matches up to his looks. So technically, I’m balanced. 😉
Someone’s just sent me a link to read. I click on it, and all it does is unfold me really really slloooowly, then it states as a headline, ‘Paris Hiltons British Best Friend, slips a nips during photoshoot.’