Tats, Dates & What I Fancy…..?

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Hiya!!! We’ve made it to FRIDAY!

FRINALLY, Baby!!!

(As my five year old son, Junior..would say. πŸ˜‰ )Β 

Grab ya best nipple tassles and get ya *shimmie* on point!! (Ruby, my daughter, would probably say that.)

It is THE WEEKEND!! (Well, almost.) But it’s important to have a weekend mentality, before it kicks in, because otherwise, you’re not only dull, like the broken custard cream at the bottom of the biscuit tin. You’re also not embracing the excitement, to come and that alone, in Wunna Land…

is a SIN!!

I love Fridays. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I have a Monday to Friday kinda job? I reckon I just enjoy celebrations of any kind. So fuck it. It’s FRIDAY! I’m in. I’m there!

Shake ya…*I’ll let you fill in the blank.*

I’m on rest today, due to my body being on the mend. I know, from my Insta story, it looks like I rest all the time. Hahah. But believe me, they’re just snippets of moments, that are filmed for YOU, either on the spot, but more often than not, FILMED PREVIOUSLY. πŸ˜‰ A lot of work is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land right now, with the old glammy career and the jazzy business of life.

That is my business…LIFE.

(..ofcourse done glamourously, with a dash of wit and showbusiness.)Β 

There’s telly, there’s modeling, running a company and influencing. Now that the babies are beginning to do their ‘ting,’ it’s doubley busy…But by the end of the month, they should be signing up to an agent, which will take a lot of pressure of MOI!

I have so much to do and I didn’t even have my morning GIN!!

‘It’s not like you to do a morning school run, without a wine in your hand, Chrissie. Haha..’

‘Wow, you parked like shit…’

Anyway!!!

Lots of you already know from following my ‘socials..’ But recently, there was a Wunna Fan, that wanted to get my attention, so offered up a game of dares, on my insta story, during my daily ‘Ask Me Anything’ thing. I went in all ‘Big Balls’ and dared him to get my initials tattooed upon him…

Yesterday morning, I found out that HE ACTUALLY DID IT. Hahah. I saw a video sitting in my inbox the evening before. I think it was Wednesday. I didn’t dare even look, so I left it until Thursday morning. Lol.

YESTERDAY, was actually a really good day. I felt really fun! I felt really sexy! I felt really appreciated by everyone. My Insta stories are getting really popular now, because i’m being more playful and putting my back into it, a little more.

Being ME

And as the tale goes, it seems the best thing you can do, is be yourself. I know that sounds cliched. But like I always say, no one in the entire world can do it better. Plus, at 37, I don’t want to be someone who’s always so worried about saying the wrong thing, or censoring the juicy bits, that make me who I am. Some brands don’t like it. Some do.

Therefore, I’m full blown committing to just letting loose and well, knowing what I’m doing. I don’t think people should tell people HOW TO influence something…They already know what works for them, their niche and their audience.

Fuck! I was meant to tell you about the Tattoo guy.

Yes! He wanted to win a date with me…and totally got my INITIALS tattooed on his thumbs!

Chick friend: ‘You literally have the best life…I can’t get my own husband to do the fucking dishes, let alone a stranger TATTOO ME on his thumbs!!’

Hahaha! Love it! Well done, Boy!

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So, now I can either go on a date with him, or subject myself to a dare. (One that he has already given to me, as an option.)Β 

I don’t ever learn do I? Fun, just gets the better of me…and that’s it. I’m a swine. But, to me, that’s what life is about. No one does it quite as well. Hahaha. I showed Ruby his tattoo and her face just dropped! πŸ™‚ Junior said…

‘Why is he nuts?’ πŸ™‚

Haha…

But, I think, it’s amazing. I was talking to my friend Liam about it yesterday. He’s just come off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show. I was doing the school run, with my phone to my ear in the playground, waiting for the kids, as I was telling him.

He was telling me about how he met some guy (he’s gay by the way,) in Bristol, bar labelled ‘OMG…’

Liam: ‘Chrissie, it was called OMG! for fucks sake! I saw this guy, he looked young, had a lip ring, so I ordered a jager bomb to be down with the kids and all that. I had to walk off afterward, because when I kissed him, all his friends cheered and I thought gosh, how young is everyone in here? He wasn’t even my type.’Β 

Chrissie: ‘You need a man…not a kid. I like A MAN. I’ve dated too many,Β  not grown yet…..boys…’

Liam: ‘Put it this way, he wasn’t worth jeopardizing my type for…Hahah. I love youΒ  guys, Chrissie…*Well, he’s not really successful and he definitely doesn’t look like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, but he seems lovely…* Hahahah!’

Chrissie: ‘This is why i’m always single…’

Liam: ‘Shit! You have that date next week, don’t you!?!’

And YES, I DO. But i’m not gonna call it a date, because I don’t know him? In fact, like HE first suggested…It’s a ‘Friendly’ meet up. Makes it sound lovely and less intense. You never really know, until you meet them, do you? A personality is KEY to me and it’s something that you can’t hide in person…even when you try to.

Can’t believe i’ve only just caught this clue…Lol.

I’m a personality girl now, in my old age. Lol. Yes, i’m still shallow. πŸ˜‰ Yes, I LOVE ROMANCE. However, as long as I find them sexy, i’m good. I’m always gonna go on, how well someone treats me. How they make me feel. He’s been great, so far…He’s really humble and really ..decent to me…

(T Bone, IGNORED my last two messages. Cute. Lol. He keeps posting photos on his ‘story’ …of views. I’M A REALLY GOOD VIEW!!!! Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open…ANYTHING! HAHAHA. πŸ™‚ )Β 

But whatever…

Tuesday will be fun! It’s like an adventure and i’ll be heading to Liverpool.

‘The Gent’ (as i’ve been calling him,) has been quite attentive. He sent me a couple voice notes yesterday simply saying that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he and caught me up, with what he did during the day with his son. (Awww.)

All good! Roll on Tuesday.

I’m in Doncaster all day tomorrow with Ruby & Junior…at The Frenchgate Centre. Hopefully, i’ll be seeing you there!

Ps/ Ruby saw a ‘sexy’ photo of me online this morning, by accident. It was just the one I posted this morning on my Instagram…She I only had stockings and a white faux fur on…and she said…

It’s like…

Thank you for following my diary. Be you. Live it! Do you! Be happy!

Chrissie x

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Popaballs, Vlogs & Songs About…

Sorry for the glittery absence of ‘written word’ from Wunna Land last night. I just needed to swirl in a merry chill, relax and enjoy the art of that good old ‘Friday Feeling.’ I’m Happy! I’m dancing to the kitty beat of my own tunes and well I haven’t really tinkered much on anything ‘social media’ over the last few days, yet only because at times, when you sort of ‘perform’ to an audience constantly, one that you’re growing…You need a moment of ‘just being away’ and firstly so you don’t get a stress rash, which my doll of a darling, chick wiggle ‘Firmonnell’ calls a ‘Dragon Rash.’ Secondly…so you can evaluate life and balance out all that is going on with *can can* kicks. Thirdly, so you can have a red berried wine. Fourthly…so everyone wonders where you are, has a panic and then upon your return you find that your engagements are a bustle πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ I know! I’m EVIL! Mwahaha! (The fourth jiggle is called the ‘fear of loss.’ When people are used to doing, reading, or seeing something or someone habitually and you pull it away…they weirdly need it more because they feel like they’re losing it. πŸ™‚ )

Why am I a bitch with boobies?

*Add Popaballs here.*

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(If you don’t know what Popaballs are you really aren’t living appropriately, as they are MY FAVOURITE little bursting fruit infusion balls, that you glamourously tinker into ANY DRINK, infact even food, to add a fun, sassy, yet extraordinarily juicy madness. They make great cocktail party gifts! The Wunna Babies have them in porridge. I’m a huge traditional ‘Bubble Tea’ fan. Ofcourse I’m a lady of the Orient, so obviously this is such a fresh modern development on one of my traditional faves! Try’em.)

Right where was I?

Okay, lets go. i’ll skim it.

Yesterday I learnt that my chick friends and I aren’t actually dirty ‘filth’ eaters at all. We just like to graze. So if there’s food in front of us…ANY FOOD, we’ll nibble it. The filth drawer turned into a Β£3 FRUIT BOWL! Well done us! I see waistlines in our futures.

My friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ definitely believes that you can..

‘Tell if a guy has a really big willy by the sound of his voice.’

That 90’s throwback song that goes…‘it’s godda be big’ was playing in the background and it had reminded her of willies…It does though doesn’t it!

So if you have a *piddley* voice, we’ll think your ‘nipper’ squeaks, because we’ve decided that, as women of the world, we can visualize what your ‘man part’ looks like, simply by listening to the tones that sound out of your mouth.

‘Double B’ doesn’t know if..

‘Pear drops are pear flavoured? ‘

Fairytale Blond, ‘Chrissie! Have you heard this, for your blog!!!’

Yet she DOES know!!! She just likes to be stupid in the name of hilarity. Yesterday she was all ‘SASSERILLA,’ Β & DIVA strutting about the place, armed with no working ears and her resting bitch face.

‘What? I’ve had my hair done. I’ve got hair over BOTH EARS now…I can’t HEAR things AND HAVE HAIR. FOR FUCKS SAKE.’

I also learnt that we girls are weird, yet a delightful species of course. Not all of us are weird. But there’s certainly that tiny little bundle of us, that are tapped. πŸ™‚

When you’re older you’re flattered by boys and attention. yet you’re not in a swirl about the flattery unless you fancy them.

When you’re a young girl, fresh on the emotional track…with bundles of rubbish love life experiences still about to occur, you are CRAZY. I’ve been there. I’m high fiving ya! Lol. (Not really. i think you’re dickheads. πŸ™‚ But yes, the young girls want male interest, yet when they get it, they can’t just LOVE it gracefully…they HAVE TO REFER to the poor guy as a…

‘UGH! GOD! HE’S TOTALLY STALKING ME!!!

Hahahha!

THEN like that’s not enough embarrassment, they further it on, by stretching out how appalling the gent is for even attempting to ask a question of ANY SORT. Lol.

‘What a stalker! Why is he asking that? Stop stalking everyone!’

Hahaha!

We had an incident occur where in which a handsome Sandy Blond male, cautiously strided into our bubble, to query if his ex girlfriend was with us. He had MISTAKEN his ex for ‘Firmonnell.’ (Who wasn’t there at the time and has been married forever with children, to the ‘Big D.’) So the Sandy Blond Handsome just wanted to ask a few questions in general…

OH LORD, have mercy on his soul…I am naturally social and charming… so I’ll be helpful…on any level…and was prepared to be…

But Feisty Gem, who is going through a really difficult time right now, in the love AND life department..TOOK THE REINS and well she currently thinks all men are massive TWATS, as she’s fresh off a bumpy love breakup…Let’s just say she made the executive decision to release her frustration on the Sandy Blond Handsome…

‘HE’S DEFINITELY A F****** STALKER! I’m not telling you where she LIVES!’

Then Double D (don’t get him mixed up with Double B) decided to stick up for ‘the boys’ with words of wisdom , that actually made proper sense…but being girls, we all just looked at him like he shouldn’t be speaking….EVER! LOL.

I like ‘Double D’ because you can say whatever you want to him and he’ll laugh it off. The other boy helper ‘Sellers’ has already been forced of the Island. I liked him too. He should’ve stayed. But life is life and it takes you to places…

I watched Steve Bartlett’s Vlog Last night. I watch it every night at 8pm. No matter where I am. I’m a massive fan and I watched a girl called Amelia Wood (is that her name?) Anyway, she has started her own business, or trying to…she’s still in the ‘hustle struggle’ phases of it all which is an honorable phase, and she showed up, to ask Steve’s advice….as she’s finding the money part hard.

From my experience when it comes to chicks or anyone in business….I think that it is SO important for you focus on the positive parts of the experience…and not on the hardships. The hardships are your ‘pity party.’ And I don’t mean that harshly. I mean it truthfully. The ‘pity paty’ gets you nowhere or drunk.

In life, I’ve been through SUCH A MUCH….I’ve experienced what felt like the poorest existence, where I’ve been literally homeless in New York. Not for long, as I had great LA friends. But what I remember from that time was finding it funny that all I had eaten for the entire day was a shot of coconut rum,that I got for free. Lol. During that time, I STILL waltzed into the business centres of various hotels and wrote my blog on their computers. Hahaha! DAILY! And I loved it! I had nothing! But my blog! That was my life! Yet, I must’ve had some sort of *glow* about me, because THIS RANDOM STRANGER saw me sat in a hotel lobby for hours..To this day, I have no clue who he was…but he was this black guy, rocking his ‘fro out. He was wearing beige, looked really normal. He walked up to me and handed me Β£200 in cash…and said,

‘You’re too beautiful to be going through whatever you’re going through…’ AND WALKED AWAY!

AS IF!! Yet at the same time i’ve experienced what people view as the WEALTHIEST lifestyle, where I have yachted and jetted and had assistants, upon assistants wait upon me in executive suites that only a Princess would find a bore…

That’s all I can tell you about that particular time, as obviously you can imagine, it was wonderful.

Yet at the same time, i’ve done the two jobs, kids and ‘trying to make it’ bonanza.

Yet during all experiences….I was always laughing. I was always happy. I was always positive and always blogging. I never stressed out. I never worried about money or ‘making it.’ I still went out and had fun and I don’t even know how. πŸ™‚ I just got on with life…Happily…I never felt sorry for myself…I didn’t ask for help, because I wasn’t ready to ask for help back then…YET no matter what advice anyone gives you….The truth behind it all, is that you need to figure it out by yourself and once you do…people will come. They’ll notice you. I promise.

You can make your dreams come true. It happens every minute of every day.

More people help you, when you don’t ask for help…

 

 

IT’S FRIIIIIIDAY!!

So sorry, I didn’t blog last night. I had a busy Thursday. One of those rushed off your feet, trying to get your head around it ‘mountain of work’ Thursdays, where everyone has a rant, everyone has a hair toss, everyone lives off coffee and then as soon as they swing open that door, which is labelled ‘HOME, they *crack* open the Prosecco and guzzle it to ease girl stress. πŸ™‚ I’m not saying that the day was stressy. I’m simply saying that it was so much that it was hilarious. I stood in a ‘cupboard’ hiding with Mel, as she looked like she was pulling faces, but like little girls we hit the *pause* button to life and started *GIGGLING.* Hot Sarah couldn’t wait to get her pretty hot self back home, her eyes lit up and her soul filtered with glee, as she uttered these magic words…

‘Chrissie! Look! I’ve even got excited goose bumps at the thought of Prosecco.’Β (And she did. Her bright eyes were so wide with excitement, that she looked like the happiest doll in all the land…that was maybe about to explode into confetti.)

I did red wine, (I kept it swag)….But we all know I shouldn’t drink it. It berry sponges me in this *higgeldy piggedly* truth serum and well…to put it bluntly…it makes me talk some right fucking shit. πŸ™‚ Swearing is Caring!

(YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL IF I HAD HAD RED WINE BEFORE I START WRITING A BLOG.)

But yes, Thursday is D’done and Friday is upon us! WE MADE IT! Hurrah! Weekends for everyone (unless you’re ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ πŸ™‚ Weekends suck for them. But whocares! Yay! No one! Let’s have Daiquiris for breakfast πŸ™‚ Β I had wine for breakfast last Saturday. Not because i’m a massive alcoholic, but because i’m a massive alcoholic in training….Do note, that I was just terrified, so needed to drink.)

Anyway, we’ve all worked hard enough this week, so today is ALL ABOUT FUN! When trouble looms over our glamourous and some one glitzy lives, we’re going scoop up the stress, well make ‘Webbo’ pick it up for us and gracefully CHUCK IT IN THE FUCK IT BUCKET. It’s Friday. Let’s have some fun now.

Lots of wonderful things are happening to me, you know that, because I tell you that all the time…I had one guy ask me why I was having ‘down’ time, just because I hadn’t posted Β a’selfie in ages. Lol.

DOWN TIME! FFS! I’ve been so rushed off my feet that I could paddle with angry sausage dogs, trying to hump me and not even notice. The ‘down’ time is my hardest time because that’s when i’ve got my head down and i’m busy ‘knuckling.’ The ‘show’ part of it all is easy, as I just wear amazing things, get papped, smile, selfie it, cocktail everything and wink whilst talking rubbish to people who adore me. πŸ™‚

I talked to a psychic last night, but just in general and she randomly told me about three guys…and it was crazy, as I knew two of them…..and what she said was accurate. However, I’ve always got to be careful when I meet a ‘chick who Β randomly tells me my future’ as i’m sure a Wunna ‘Google Search’ will pretty much lead you to this site, which HEY, tells you my life story. Lol. And she started her conversation with…‘It’s Chrissie, right?’

I’m going to post a blog later on this afternoon, telling you all about the fact that I’m in the Spring Edition of House of Solo Magazine and it’s out now My was at home waiting for me…AND I ADORE IT, as it feels like a treasure and goes on about how ace I am, Social Media ‘IT’ Girls are…and all sorts. (I’ll tell you about that in the next blog.)

I saw those little grubby boys in the alley way again last night, whilst walking by. They think they’re my mates now. Lol. They’re scruffs and I’m a glamour puss and i’m the only one they allow to pass their little boy alleyway, without abuse now.

I watched the littlest one of the pack, who looked about 11 write in black sharpie (so gangsta) on the wall of the alleyway…

He wrote…

‘Girls fancey a fuck…’

So, like the Glamour Puss that I am, I passed him, he looked up at me and I simply *paused* studied his work πŸ™‚ and said,

‘You’ve spelt fancy wrong…’ before walking off.. (I’m gonna teach him something new every day, until he’s not a scruff anymore. πŸ™‚ Have I spelt ‘spelt’ wrong, it looks wrong?)

Then when I got to the petrol station, this busy guy dashed passed me and I stopped him quickly, just to say,

‘Ooh, you smell nice…’

He actually *paused* for a second, smiled and like his rush at calmed thanked me…I totally made him smell the roses for a moment.

There you have it. I’m ace.

More on House of Solo later..

‘Liam Ross’ is trying to Skype me? He once tried to hit on me, by pretending to be two different guys at once. Lol.

HAVE A FABULOUS FRIDAY!