Don’t look like a sausage roll…

I’ve just been living. So my apologies for the ‘no blog.’ I kept meaning to write one, then I’d opt for a beautiful fruit gin instead, as I hovered the dairy in’pending’ before another gin tinkered in.

I’ve worked through the weekend, so I pretty much only had Sunday to *kapow* it. As usually I’d KAPOW Saturday and take a massive luxury chill on Sunday. It’s like i had to *binge* fun into a day with friends, cocktails, family and love. I don’t like *binge* fun, cos now…it’s Monday and I feel fucking shattered. I’ve also decided that anything that begins with the words ‘ALL IN….’ is shit. 🙂

Lots is happening. My world is spinning, it’s a really exciting time and I feel like i’m about to wink my way to everything i’ve  always dreamed of. I had a few last minute glitches at the end of last week work wise. Some people kind. Some people… RUDE as hell. (Don’t be rude, i’ll think you’re a dick. I don’t know where people get off being ‘no reason’ rude…especially when they look like an ice goat from the Narnia cupboard. You can’t be a goat, have poor shoe game and then try and spit out bastardy behavior. It will not work for you…even if you’re wearing my Little Mistress faux fur.

Saturday was ‘work Saturday.’ And it was rubbish. I hated Saturday because I could’ve thought of 900 other things that I would rather be doing, than what I was having to be doing. I kept looking at the window sighing for more eventful times. I wanted to karate kick out my cage. Lol.

If my chick friend ‘Double B’ didn’t state that some looked like a… (wait for it..)

‘…a sausage roll with a wig on..’

Hhahahah! Life would’ve be shit. And because it was THE ONLY funny thing to have happened, I clung onto the thought for hours and it tickled me all day.

‘What are you laughing at?’

‘I’ still not over the sausage roll thing..’

‘It’s because she does actually look like one…lol.’

I LOVE ‘Double B’s insults because they’ll always be the most comedically odd, bitchy bits of ‘hoo haa.’ Like if ‘Mean Girls’ was Yorkshire and dipped in a silly whore sassiness…you would have what my ears hear on daily, from this chicks mouth. And then she’ll always top off the worse bits of insult off with her, ‘PAY THE FEE’ cheerleader dance.

‘Pay the feeee. Pay the feeeeeeeeee. Peace out. A Town.’

Firmonnell’s still happily married to ‘Big D’ and he’s totally stepped up his game. First he introduced a sex step, THEN he got a promotion…AND NOW he obtains these bags of jelly babies for free.

Big D and I used to go ice skating when we were kids at The Dome…as that all you could do in Doncaster… or ‘Dancing School.’ I mean who on EARTH gets to be married to Willy Wonka. AND SHE CAN’T EVEN ICE SKATE. I did the polite thing and told her that I might love or feel up her husband now that he has jellies.

She told me to ‘BACK THE FUCK OFF‘ Hahaha!

‘What? the dude’s got sweets and shit?’ 🙂

I’m loving this new ‘nothing to lose‘ outlook on life that i’m totally A* ..ing. I’ve got the reins to my world now and i’m flying baby, FLYING! Yes, i’m being a bit sassy, a bit annoying, a bit of a ‘doo daa’ at times…but i’m loving it and it’s ace and this is my patch of cyberland…so there! Prosecco for everyone!

(Hustle Barbie says it’s MY fault that she didn’t tidy her house because she went to do a blog catch up and ended up on this blog for hours. I assured her that there would be hot toyboys who would offer to clean her home for her…and that she could then leave her beau to date Gino D’Acampo. Great solution! I should have a therapy show!)

I’m in a swirl. God! This guy, ‘the swirl’ has got me going CRAZY!

Me: ‘I can’t hake you out my head. You’re in there. Always. I like it.’

‘Yeah me too..it feel ssoooooooo good.’

It’s thrown me a bit as you know how much I distrust my own judgements on anything ‘love or lust‘ related. This weekend, i just thought ‘fuck it’ (as I just can’t quit swirling about him) and with the whole ‘nothing to lose‘ mantra strapped onto my dildo…:) I WENT FOR IT.

He might have sent me a *spacky bum bum* emoji at one point. Lol.

I like this guy (but i’ve been treading cautiously..of previous)…We already get on well, so we don’t really need to try at that, as it’s just the way our personalities jigsaw. That part is a biggie, so we’re lucky like that.

So after picture taking, messages and him having a mild moan that they wasn’t much video content…Lol

‘Work your magic. 🙂 xx

‘You work your fucking magic. I’ve deleted every single SELFIE IN THE WORLD!!!!!’

We pissed ourselves, he went off on his night out and I got dressed, went to the bar and asked a guy to delete all my read emails so that I could video. Hahahaha! And he did! Very grateful!

Video galore was made on Sunday. It started sweet and just turned x rated. I couldn’t help it. The guy gets me going like that. Then like a magical flowing trail of saucy digital content…I proved that I had ‘nothing to lose.’ 🙂

It felt liberating. It felt sexy.

It was received with the upmost appreciation and messages to assure me that it was divine. Lol

I should get trophies for it! Yet, the art of sexy and seduction is knackering. I needed a warm bath and a ‘straight to bed’ afterward. Knowing my luck, I probably got him all juiced up and filled with spunk, so he could go bone some ‘first girl there’ chick because his willy couldn’t help it. Hahaha! I DID ALL THE FUCKING LEG WORK!!!! 🙂 Whatever, I’m Miss Wunna…ain’t no girl gonna beat my sauce. 🙂

Joking aside. I’m happy and like i said, you have to cling onto those moments of happy, don’t you? They keep things exciting and we (I hope) have exciting times ahead. The swirl is good because it weirdly has a magic to it, a magic that i’m labelling ‘substance.’ Like it could go really well..if we wanted it to.

If I could give you any advice from what I’ve learnt from my weekend, it would be to GO FOR IT. Express yourself. Be loving. Be open. be honest. Don’t give two shits about fear and get what you want…or at least have a go at trying…

‘Once upon a time..Mummy sent Daddy Nudes….and they lived happily ever after! 🙂 ‘

Oh and try not to look like a sausage roll..

Shit, i’ve got to dash…

Working ALL DAY.

 

 

Let’s Get All Empowery

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine.’

‘Why are you so quiet? You seem so withdrawn?’

‘I’m fine. I’ve just got a lot…I’m fine. Lol.’

‘You know, if you’re not fine, you can chat to me about it..’

I looked to my right, through the corner of my little oriental eye. And  as I travelled in the front passenger seat of my Mother’s silver Mercedes… I gently smirked, shook my head a little…and just said,

‘Honestly…I’m fine. I just have a lot going on. I need to make some changes, I’m waiting to hear good news and i’m just a bit stressed out because if of it all. I’m okay.’

‘Y’know, this whole blog thing on Friday…’

‘Yeah.’

‘Just incase people forget to tell you how proud they are of you, or how inspired they are by you…I want you to know, that I couldn’t be MORE PROUD of you. You’re on ya way now…’

I smiled, turned my head forward, my eyes filled up a little, but just enough to make me *beam* and not weep. Then I turned up the radio…and we karaoked all the way back to mine… to this…

You see, I’m telling you about that moment… and let me tell you,  moments like that are sometimes hard for me to deliver, as even though i’m sassy and fun, I’m proud girl, I don’t like to come across as weak or negative, or a damsel in distress to anyone EVER..because i’m not. 🙂

Yet, when you’re going through a really BIG time in your life, that key changer…that moment where something means so much to you…and for me, it’s not just the blog awards, as mean win or lose that (and I want to win it) I’ll still be blogging and doing it with that good old Wunna panache. I’m so honoured to be a finalist. However, with all the meetings, all the work, the new chapters, new opportunities.. the waiting to hear good news…the investment….and let’s face it, it’s all come out of nowhere and all come very fast…During that time, you’ll shimmie on a wave like frequency that takes you UP where you’re so juiced, that you’re at your most confident and then DOWN, where nerves kick in and you second guess yourself.

That’s the same with anything you care about passionately. Be it in work, family…or love. Yet, only when it’s out of your control, do you feel anxious. You can’t MAKE someone give you that dream opportunity. You can’t MAKE someone love you. All you can do is give everything your best shot, hope for the best, make yourself of value and with a positive *beam* of life…not worry about the things that you can’t control. (Rum works tooooo.)

It’s a lesson I learn over and over again…all of the time.

When things mean so much to me, I sometimes get terrified. Yet with the right support, love and *pats on the back*…within seconds….I’m back, I feel powerful and utterly positive. That’s why you NEED great people around you.

It is okay to ride ‘the wave’…it’s natural, it’s human. You don’t need to think anything is wrong with you? You just need to know that you’re actually greater than you ever thought. I’m a ‘get on with it’ girl and that worrying about things that you can’t control…helps no one. It makes you less powerful.

I walked to the post office today at around 4.30pm and I watched this random 30 something year old dude, talk to his 20 something year old  girlfriend, like she was he biggest piece of shit, he had ever known. To make it worse…she looked all weak and nervous. She looked like half of version of herself. It got to me, but i walked straight past it, as it was her version of life, not mine. But as I did… and I didn’t look back, I hoped to GOD that she one day found it in herself to grow ten feet tall and become the most powerful and sassy fucker of a lady EVER. One that pisses glitter, dollar bills and *fucks it* all over his sorry, beer bellied ‘your tracksuit was too small for you’ arse. How could she be so blinded, to think that that was love? The man who loves you will cherish you…chase you, respect you, care for you and look after you.

And to anyone who *whops* out their ‘high horse’ for no beneficial reason, you need to learn to be good to people, because YOU DON’T KNOW who or what ANYBODY is going to become! So you might treat someone like absolute SHIT and one day find that they’re doing 4 million times better than you could EVER DO. You might one day need their help and on that day, they’ll kick off their kitten heels, sit back and laugh in your muggly little face.

In a way, seeing that moment empowered me….

So fuck it…on Friday…Let’s go WIN some shit! 🙂