Is Cupid Really That Stupid…?

Image may contain: 1 person, indoor

Happy Day of LURVE , my Lovelies! Now, I’m a creature of ‘kitten’ who adores a good Valentines day. I’m addicted to romance and sweet whispers dipped in giddy. I swag it out, but I love it. Yet, let’s just say, even though i’m quite quite lucky, when it comes to grabbing the attention from boys…and the occasional girl…

..Cupid is also GREAT at pulling down my pants, pointing and laughing at me, with a..


Cupid is a bastard at times. We’re friends now though. At the end of the day, he’s not that bad. I always say you’ll meet someone one day and realise why it didn’t work out with everyone else. He trains you up for it. (Bastard.)

Like I said, in my last blog…There’s soooo many people who regards this day at a ‘Hallmark’ Holiday…And I think, yes…we’re meant to love and appreciate the person we adore EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, OF EVERY SINGLE DAY...but we don’t. We just don’t because we get caught up with our own lives, the stresses of it, or the ‘busy parts…’ I mean, guys will often straddle on Social Media telling random Glamour Pusses how beautiful they are, yet forget to tell their wife, on a morning when she wakes up…or when she looks lovely.

SO, if there is a DAY (and I say it all the time) to dedicate a moment, to the person you love, adore or appreciate…and TODAY has been labelled that day…then why not embrace it, celebrate it and show the person you love, that you actually care.

It takes one second.

(Text them now, order flowers or book in at your local restaurant.)

It doesn’t matter how you do it…It’s always the thought the counts and also the situation you are in. You may be apart, but if geography doesn’t get the better of you, your ‘ooh laa‘ should not only survive but last the distance. Chemistry travels through the Universe and back.

You may have busy schedules… But it only makes the moments you DO share together that MORE precious. You may live together and see one another EVERY SINGLE DAY, yet have never really opened up and showed love the way you wanted to…

You may fancy a ‘someone’ and just can’t find it in you to tell them.. You may want to turn a ‘Beneficial friend‘ 🙂 (aww, I put that so beautifully,) into a true love….? All sorts of situations…But there are ALL SORTS of Valentine Solutions.

No Excuses.

I only feel bad for those wanting to surprise a secret crush…as that to me is terrifying. I have everything crossed for you. Keep the romance alive! You have the ‘Big Balls.’

Hurrah! Love Heart Lollipops for everyone?

So yeah, being a LIVE LIVER…and someone who turned the diary of her life, into her business… I say..


Image may contain: 1 person, indoor

(Even if your ‘Pants Down’ Cupid, by the end of it. I’m ballsy. I always always GO FOR IT.) 

I’m just reading through my news feed and I love how some guys palm off Valentines day with a ‘what I love you anyway…it’s just a day… YET, moan that we chicks don’t take Steak & Blowjob‘ day seriously.

Hahaha. Be Smart Fellas!

I actually want to know what ALL my chick friends got from their ‘Handsomes,‘ as i’m on my travels, so i’m hoping they Whatsapp me the whole entire, gossipy *shabbam.*

Over the last couple days, i’ve been busy on shoots and sorting out the business part of Wunna Land. So when there isn’t a blog, it’s because i’m either working, just chilling with the babies, or guzzling a massive WINE.

I will tell you that I HAVE BEEN FREEZING. Imagine being out in the fricking freezing cold, shooting, naked….


It’s hard to keep it sexy when you’re you’re freezing. It’s made me not fancy guys who do not put the heater on. I associate the cold with hatred. 🙂

Image may contain: 1 person, sitting

Okay, so I have a family day today, with Ruby, Junior, My Mum, Dad & Brother. Today is what I call ‘Treat Day,’ where we splurge on delights and do whatever we want. We treat ourselves. (Junior’s excited and filled to the brim with giddy burst of glee, that just bubbling through him. Ruby’s currently trying to choose 1000 toys to sell, so she can make extra money, because it makes her happy? She is every bit ME. Lol) 

We’re actually headed to The Frenchgate Centre in Doncaster today, to go ahead and celebrate their FIFTIETH YEAR, where we’ll be ‘LOCKING IN THE LOVE’ and placing our Wunna land padlocks on the giant Iron Heart in the centre…to show OUR LOVE and appreciation, as a family.

Doncaster means a lot to me…as even though I ventured off to do life in West Yorkshire, then well…Hollywood….It’s always been my birth place, always obviously will be my birth place…Lol…and I have the fondest childhoods memories there.

Happy Valentines Day from Wunna Land.

Love you.

Chrissie x

Image may contain: 1 person, indoor





Inbox Poems, Diets & Showbusiness

Image may contain: 1 person, phone

Let’s at least try and start the year positively, right? I’m currently sat in a local pub blogging with a freshly bubbled prosecco and i’ve been scrolling through all my feeds.

Ooh wait….I have a message…

Firmonnell: ‘Why didn’t you come in then??’

Me: ‘You were talking to someone in neon and just looked busy. I’m at the pub now.’

Anyway, I’ve been scrolling through my feeds and gosh….HOW MUCH drama can every human in entertainment shimmie into 2018 with.

If you’re not in entertainment, I’ll tell you, during THIS TIME of the year we all (and I say ‘we’ as I am certainly included in all of this,) but we all hit the *panic button* because we all need to find attention, build attention and push the career a fresh…make our mark and make our money. We worry that we’re going to tinker through the year without making all of our merry dreams come true and we wrongly think that we have to SLAM IT in January to prove that we can start the race well.


In my ‘older and now wiser’ mind, it’s not a race. It’s not about where you start, it’s where you finish and your journey to the finish line is essential, as that is what makes you. Everyone tends to see the ‘success’ part of the ‘hoo haa,‘ yet forgets to see the journey it took for that person to get there. (We won’t you to see both.)

So as I scrolled I saw the ‘flashes,’ the ‘go getters.’ (Which is all fine, as it’s what the business of ‘show’ is about. There are the ones that play the ‘fame game‘ the ones that only focus on doing the one thing that they love and the ones that capitolize on both.)

But gosh, everything from Logan Paul already having to apologize for his behaviour and we’re only three days into 2018. Whey didn’t he just sit in a bar with a prosecco and chill a second?

If you are unaware of what he did, well…that’s a good thing. I do feel sorry for the poor boy, yet when you push the line, for attention…there is always backlash. I don’t think he expected it to backfire the way it did and I do think that he knew and still knows what he was and IS doing. It was in poor taste and well he ran on an excited energy, for a lot of ‘look at me,’ rather than using his nogging. It worked…negatively.

SIX MILLION views later…and Logan is forced to ‘say sorry’ and attempt to make it right to save his career.

We’re THREE DAYS IN! Rein it in!

Then all sorts happened, Paris (as in Hilton)…I am a product of the Hilton Brand, after tinkering off her ITV2 show, she is now engaged, with her $2million dollar ring and her ‘looks really happy to have found her soulmate’ video…The Jena Frumes/Lingard story….popped out of nowhere…(I can’t decide if it’s a PR stunt or a real life bit of pokery?) If it’s real…then he’s pretty stupid, young, far too horny or blind. If it’s a stunt…then it worked.

And just last night….Celebrity Big Brother began…filling the news with the opinions of showbizzy types…Katie Hopkins made her usual ridiculous remarks about transgender ladies, just to play her role of the villian…and already in that world, a couple days into 2018…Showbusiness has gone ‘cockaleaky,’ and i’ve already been called a ‘bad role model’ by a lady on Twitter who makes machines for the NHS…incase she ever found me on her CBB screen.


It’s made me need a chill and a wine…and search for a wink of normality. I even messaged all the normal people that I know this morning, just to make sure I was still safe and sane. If anything, I adore peace. I adore the business of ‘show’ yet it’s all about balance for me. I can do both. Lots of people can’t.

So i’m going to use my little bit of kitten voice for all that is positive! 2018 is all about good vibes, love and that cosy bit of energy that leads you to your happy place. A place where you love what you do, adore what you have and believe in what you stand for…and what you stand for..INSPIRES.

I’m gonna start off with this..

I woke up this morning, still in my nighty, checked my inbox email and found the most beautiful poem from a fan…What I love about this person is the simple fact that on Instagram the evening before, he had commented, stating that he would write me a song or write me a poem. The next morning, it was in my inbox.


It’s so attractive, because so many people, say SO many things and don’t actually mean what they say at all. You know they don’t mean it, because they never ever ‘action’ it.

(Oops hang on..I’m getting distracted. I’ve got quite a lot of things to promote and i’m trying to get through everything over the next couple of weeks. The powers above keep messaging me and dumping parcels infront of me with smiles…)

Anyhow, Here is the poem: (How Thoughtful, right!)

‘Chrissie Wunna

Always believe you’re worth it

Practice makes perfect
So beautiful but yet hardworking
Not a dumb blonde that’s only interested in twerking
Chrissie Wunna
Such a stunner
Light up anywhere like the sun in summer
You’d look good in any number
I feel you have sharp intellect
I wonder what is your main interest
When you die that’s the time to take a rest
Remember to save n invest
Towards your future will leave you feeling truly blessed
Don’t take no disrespect
Never expect
Think carefully what you accept
Stay away from fuck boys
Who try play girls like toys
You’re special
Got the right credentials
Very essential
A man would be proud for you to have their last initial
Wife material
Imagine waking up in the morning chilling drinking tea whilst you eat your cereal
Nice smile
You got alot of style
Dress elegant
Manners are excellent
You run a tight ship within your own regiment
Like a veteran
Chillin wid the folks counting benjamins
Celebrate life cause all you do is win.’

That is one of the first things I read today and it filled my soul with delight. What a lovely person. It made my day! (AND he rhymed ‘Wunna’ with ‘Stunner’ and referred to money as ‘Benjamins.’ That’s double points. I have the best fans! 🙂 AND all my chick friends are accidentally blond, so I like that he called them a bit ‘dumb.’ Hahaha. (If you’re my chick friend and a brunette… My apologies..I’ve forgotten about you of recent. :). All the points! Yes I win…..


Thoughtfulness is so sexy. From the bottom of my kitten heart.


(Oh!! AND TO ALLEN, who sent me the flowers! THANK YOU.)

It actually put me in a really positive mood and after reading all the rest of your messages….(and I couldn’t thank you enough for all the love I’m receiving, as you really are making me smile, you really are making my day..) I sorted myself out, made a few phone calls and got back on the deliciously clean ‘straight and narrow.’

Well..that’s after I watched the trailer to ‘Fifty Shades Freed! It looks amazing.I’m totally obsessed. Yes to Mrs Grey!! I can’t wait for February to go watch it with my ‘NO DATE. ‘ Ugh! Why can’t Christian Grey be real? Even if he was…he’d probably opt for not dating me, which would be somewhat awkward. 🙂

I thought everyone loved the Orientals?

I am starting my fitness plan next week. There’s an inappropriate ‘jiggle’ to my wiggle’ right now. I adore my body. I do. Don’t get me wrong. But at 37, after two babies…and a delightful Christmas of cocktailing and eating everything, my body is far too ‘playground’ as I like to call it. There are far too many juicy bits, that should be a little more… tame.

So yes, the diet starts now…The fitness plan begins next week…and who have I gone with to get my kitty self into shippy shape…The one and only, cheeky chappy Joe Wicks…The Body Coach. Millions of you are already following him, so I really don’t need to tell you to. We had a Twitter ‘Morning/Morning’ this morning…meaning I am now read to go.

In 90 days…He will be responsible for any ‘good’ that my body goes through. So, if i look banging…I’ll let him take the credit. On a less funny note…I am sincerely inspired by him….and I really hope you are too!

Wish my sorry ass LUCK.

Image may contain: 1 person, phone



Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! (And Ginners.)

‘What are you doing?’

‘Just rummaging through your drawers…’

‘Aww…If only I had any on..’

I looked at the ever stylish, ‘King of the North,’ we *paused* and then we pissed ourselves laughing at how not very funny we are.

‘Please, as IF i’m not in pants. I’ve had babies. If I don’t wear pants, all sorts of shit would fall out of me…’

Then ofcourse ‘Double B’ butts in with a..

‘Like what?’ 🙂

Hahaha! The terrifying thought of what actually might fall out of me when shaken is beyond me. That’s why I avoid bouncy castles at all costs. It’d be weave, boobs and flipping West Hollywood pretty boys from 2013 that would fall out of me, with a few delicious organs…dashed in a sliced of my gooey dignity.

I hope you’ve had a wonderful Valentines day. I’ve had THE SINGLE, MOST WONDERFUL VALENTINES DAY EVER.

This is one of the first times in England that I’ve been single on the day of love and let me tell you…I have no date, I had no plans, I received zero cards or flowers and I am BEAMING. It almost feels as though i’m the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s odd? Right now, I’m emotionally at my strongest. So warm that i’m radiating this weird glitter glow. I’ve never felt like this before.

I happy because this year, on Valentines Day, I feel so utterly proud of myself because I never ‘just settled’ for ‘some guy’ that wasn’t my perfect life buddy, simply to just go on a date. I don’t feel lonely. I feel ‘whole’ and when girls are of that nature they are at their MOST attractive.

So as ‘Fairytale Blond’ made last minute dinner arrangements. (‘I Ugh, I can’t believe I have to make my OWN arrangements.’) ‘Double B’ went to Marks & Sparks to buy her beau (who’s penis looks like Me in my party weave) the ingredients to a romantic home cooked meal. As ‘Hot Sarah’ ( who let me eat her leftover home stew and dumplings) probably dashed away from her desk to celebrate her Valentine Anniversary with her ‘Handsome’ and as ‘Firmonnell’ stayed in and did love with her husband ‘Big D..’ (Firmonnell’s all bouji now, as i’ve noticed that she’s embracing her inner glam and wearing the cutest little pinny dresses…Probably because she always has worms and ‘fishy bits’ in the blog…. Hahaha!! I’ve accidentally got it in again, haven’t I!?! Lol)

Anyway, tonight, I internally *beamed* because as I flung on my little faux fur to keep my kitten face warm and as I tottered to my car, under the glitzy night stars, I celebrated the fact that, I was for ONCE utterly single on Valentines Day and weirdly the happiest chick in all the land. No drama, no stress, no plans, no nothing…

I walked down an alley way, with a smile on my face, like the entire world was my oyster. My mum even Facebooked me at that point with a, ‘Are you doing anything tonight?‘ Then when I responded with a ‘no’ and a smiley face she couldn’t even believe her little Burmese eyes. 🙂

Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in love, the real kind that gets you in a swirl, an uncontrollable happy swirl of magic. And I know that I’ll get bowled over by his spirit when I meet him. Yet, i feel great for NOT being tied down to someone that isn’t quite right for me. That alone makes me  happy. It makes me feel free. I’m not in a situation where i’m having to compromise what i stand for or believe in.

‘London Business Man’ sent me a Whatsapp message of the Voice Note variety that went a bit like this…

‘I have a lot of love for you, but i’m just hearing excuses right now, excuses excuses, I know you’re busy… I get it… I get it.. I get it. But make a little time for ME and I’ll make a LOT of time FOR YOU….. I honestly don’t know what that means, but it sounded good.’ 


I just don’t seem to have time to schedule ‘London Business Man’ into my life….until next month, but just for a catch up…and even though we have a brief past of fun…I haven’t really seen him in over half a year. He’s the one that withdrew his offer of love. We’re good friends, yet that’s only because I’m cool and not nutty, as technically he did choose other chicks over me…every time. Yet, I’m just not bothered, as I think he’s a great friend, and I think he’s a wonderful human, yet I understand men, people, I understand ‘times’ and how he may feel now, that i’m doing well…And yes, he’s not on my priority list of ‘Must Dates’ lol…

But like I said in my last blog, before I deleted it…(That’s the ace thing about lifestyle blogging, you can go back and edit shit out, like it never even happened…:) )

It’s hard once you’ve maybe ballsed something up a bit and you then try to get back in the game. As the second time around, depending on how hard you’ve ballsed up, you almost face a mountain. If you just made a small yet decent rockstar decision to begin with, it would’ve been a a walk in the park. And I don’t say that to preachy. I say it because I have been on BOTH SIDES of that coin throughout life.

But what I do like about him is that he doesn’t quit trying….he’s not scared to ask me out and do it properly Most guys are. I don’t like scaredy cats. What I don’t feel for him right ‘magic.’

It’s that’s chemistry and magic that I look for.

I did do a year ago…I felt so much magic that I could’ve exploded…but that was a year ago…Right now, and when i’m dancing in my finest emotional situation, I see him as just my buddy. A guy friend i’d just do cocktails with to catch up and YOU ALL HATE BEING in ‘friend zone,’ but you kinda put yourself there. 🙂

I haven’t even had sex since last year. So, it’s not like i’m making foolish decisions. I’m making the right decisions for me. FOR once. (Oh wait? Was it last year? It was ‘Eton Mess’…Yes…last year, in maybe like November? Ages ago now. AND I’M LOVING IT. I am little Cougar, Born again Virgin Chrissie Wunna.

But no matter what you did this evening, I hope you felt adored and more importantly ‘whole.’

I got given a decent and loving pep talk by a lady who’s in her sixties this morning and it kinda made me glow and feel strong. I’ve been losing my swag a little bit over the last week. Yet this morning sorted me right out.

Oh? I’ve just got a message from ‘Take Me Out Nick?’

‘Pop over tomorrow when you’re free, so I can make you a brew..’

The other day we were imagining what our lives would be like if we dated ginger people? Lol.

He imagined himself in Valley Gardens (which is a dodgy park in Pontefract) with some ghetto blaster, in the sun and a few beers with his imaginary ginner bird.

‘Where are you? The Maldives?’

‘Yeah, I’m bikini sunbathing with cocktails in The Maldives and he’s moaning because he’s having to sit in the shade because he’ll burn to death in the blistering heat. So I’ll just have to lay here, ignore him and shout him over if I need anything during the holiday…’

HAHAHA!  Then we finished out coffees and got on with life…

Everything feels magical in Wunna Land.

Happy Valentines Day!







Pink Pens, Dance Offs & Girls

G: ‘I’m just a bit distracted because someone’s stole my pink pen?’

Me: ‘I stole A pink pen, but it’s mine now…’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I just found a pink pen in my drawer….’

Pink Pen Purchaser: ‘I have loads of pink pens here….’ *Opens drawer.*

Me: ‘Nooo….That’s how we all have them….We stole them out of your drawer.’

See, it’s the littlest things that mean so much to a girl. Pens that write pink. As simple as that. The most sought after pen on the block. (Listen to this bit Gents…) It looks good. It writes well. It caters to our everyday girly whims…We’re so subconsciously obsessed with these pink pens, that WE STEAL THEM from one another.

It means so much to one girl that she will question it’s whereabouts. Another is so polite that she will simply state that one seemed to have accidentally landed in her personal space. I simply made it clear that I had found one, liked it, stole it and therefore it was now mine. 🙂 And inbetween the casual pink pen debate, there was a ‘giver,’ the girl who thought there were more in supply, having not yet noticed that they had all been stolen. 🙂

That’s kinda how life and being a female works, as soon as guys learn it and learn more about the type of ‘pink pen’ chick he is dealing with…the more successful he will become in the pursuit of winning her heart.

I’ll just leave that piece of ‘juicy’ there for you.

Anyway, i’ve had a busy day. Monday’s are always busy aren’t they? And you can either decide to hide from it, deal with it, or just go with it and get drunk afterward. I’m not quite sure which one I did? But i started early and finished late and still didn’t managed to get everything done. Yipppee! Lol.

I also had a working lunch, where I found myself running (well, I don’t really run do I? I sort of slowly tottered up three flights of stairs as glamourously as I could, with my flipping waist trainer on and my pink laptop under my arm?

*I swing the door open.*

‘You’re not actually gonna blog through your lunch are you?’

‘No. I’ve just godda get these interview questions done and I’m not gonna have the time.’

‘When do they have to be in for?’


Then ‘Firmonnell’ and Mel chipped in as we all conferred and discussed how WE EACH believed a first date should run. (This is why you need your chick friends. Mine are more than helpful when it comes to Wunna land.)

Now we’re really different from one another and all in three different situations. ‘Firmonnells’ married. Mel has a brand new ‘love swirl’ and I’m completely and utterly single. We all like different things in men. Will make different date choices. BUT, after a table chitter chatter, as we overlooked the town, behind a giant glass window, in the middle of our day of business…I actually realised that when to comes to a FIRST DATE, WE ALL WANTED THE EXACT SAME THING and it had nothing to do with the type of guy. Nothing to do with what he’d look like, or how much a date would cost, or where we’d go….?It had nothing to do with the any of the superficial bits of a ‘first date’ and had everything to do with his manner….How thoughtful and creative he would or could be…..SO THOUGHTFUL and I say it all the time, is the new sexy…Yet only to the girls who are emotionally grown.

I can’t tell you anything more about the conversation, as well…you’ll be able to read my answers in the digital feature when it comes out.

We got so engrossed in talking about it, that I only answers ONE of the questions, so I have the rest to do now. But i’m excited because at least everything i’m saying is real and true to what I honestly believe. It’s always based upon my own life experience and not some well PR’d drivel. I do always ask others about their own opinions and life experience, but so I can see something from every angle. Teams are better than going it solo. If your ream is correct. be it in love or business. (I say that ALL the time also.)

Anyway, ‘Firmonnell’ had to dash off after we chatted about Valentines Day cards..

Mel: ‘Is there a card that just says I LIKE YOU? Y’know, so I don’t have to do the whole I LOVE YOU thing?’ 

Firmonnell: ‘I’d really like an I LIKE YOU card. It’s hilarious. You know that there’s now a dating site, where you find your perfect life partner by matching ALL the things you HATE? We’d be good at that!’


Then as Firmonnell swung out the door, Mel and I discussed the ‘Chrissie Wunna’ brand. (I’m single. Have I told you that i’m single? Lol. So, I don’t have to fuss over the whole what ‘valentines card do i buy’ muddle. I can just buy myself a cocktail and wink at my own mirror image. 🙂 I’m fine with that because Cupid is quite obviously a twat OR saving me for something awesome? See, how I tried to be positive then…Lol.)

But yes, obviously this whole ‘Chrissie Wunna’ thing is turning into a brand…by accident and like i’ve said, there’s opportunities a knocking always, yet for me finding the correct team to work alongside when it comes to brand management, isn’t easy. I’ve had investors ask to meet me and I like that they sort of believe in ‘this little girls’ blog and think that i’m onto something great. That makes me feel warm…

So Mel and I discussed paperwork, business deals and futures…

Then I don’t know what happened, but we then decided, whilst boiling a kettle, that instead of having a bunch of business types and solicitors fight over or *barter/back & forth* it into Wunna land, we should just gather them ALL into a room and make them have a DANCE OFF. Haha.

Whoever wins, gets Wunna Land. Deal Done!

YES! I totally know geniuses. I’m sold. I Love it! I’m in! Yes to ‘The Robot.’

Then we realized that time had got the better of us and had to get back to work…

That door swung straight back open and we dashed out, with a tea and a phone in our hands, to make good shit happen….

The day flew….but I remember hours late, as I had flounced on my ‘Little Mistress’ faux fur and grabbed my bag, ‘G’ was stood at the top of first flight of stairs…

I absorbed it all really quickly, as I had to dash off madly, but she looked down the flight of stairs at ‘Fairytale Blond, who was sat down working, and with the biggest smirk on her face, she twizzled a pink pen, that she effectively stole and with a warmth of evil victory, simply said,

‘Look what I’ve got…’