Life, Chicken Outfits & Train Journies

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Hi! I haven’t abandoned you! Just lots going on right now, which is ticking my work boxes off with  ‘deliciousness.‘ I’m learning a lot about people and life right now. I always thought I knew everything. I would wouldn’t I!! 😉 I can be such a cocky little shit at times. But what i’ve treasured from my darling little accidental ‘life learns’ over the past couple days, is that you should never ever be afraid to voice how YOU FEEL about something, someone, or a situation, no matter how awkward it may make you or others feel. By nature, I’m a ‘voicer’ and I stand by being expressive, until the day I keel over in glitter heels. It’s good for everyone!

(Like last night, I sent someone a message because I must’ve kinda doubted myself…I did cringe after I sent it…But it was how I really felt in the moment. I chilled a second..and just like that, this morning… everything was back to dandy.)

Another lesson…Don’t doubt yourself.

(I’m only saying that so I remember… But you always need life lesson reminders.)

The right people will always understand you. The ones who truly care for you, will always still be there. The people who do you wrong, or disappear will always say ‘sorry’ or come back to you whole heartedly…if they’re meant to be in your life. Stay loyal to what you believe is right for YOU and DO NOT go against, what your gut instinct tells you…

Unless, your gut instinct is kinda ‘off par,‘… then you’re kinda fucked. 🙂  Like one of my Straight guy friends, he has the worst ‘Gaydar‘ in the entire world ever! He can never be trusted with it…

Straight Friend: ‘He’s not gay..’

Me: ”We’re in G.A.Y, he said he loved me on the Hilton Show, loves my eyeshadow and then said *i’m gay.*”

Straight Friend: ‘That doesn’t mean he’s actually gay..’

Anyway….busy weekend! I travelled to Manchester. Well I did Stockport and then this other place that began with ‘L,’ for work. I can’t really tell you too much about it other than, I was in trainers…(I KNOW…HELL DIDN’T FREEZE OVER.) Around me there were really bright, almost neon, yellow walls, bright orange, semi circled chairs.. in a sports hall, tons of paperwork everywhere….and humans.

There was even a point where I was trapped in a room, with a ballet bar and a giant mirrored wall…with a black elasticated waist band strapped around me, that had a HUGE, ALMOST GIANT elastic band attached to it. (Could life get any offer.) And to make it worse…I was also in swimming goggles, which pretty much broke my heart.

‘What about my flipping eyelashes…I can’t see a thing. I can’t ACTUALLY SEE!’

Then as a camera filmed, others watched and a panel of humans took notes…the giant elastic band, was slowly pulled back, so it was stretched out, to its absolute tightest…. and then let go on me.

Hurrah!

Did that happen to you on Sunday?

‘Hustle Barbie’ messaged me during the day to see how it was all going…

Me: ‘Aww! Yeah. Such a blast. I have just had a giant elastic band, stretched back and pinged into my fanny!!’

Hustle: ‘Hahaha. I love it! I can’t wait!’

Before that I was having a conversation with a cabaret act. He was once on the Xfactor Bloopers and wore golden glittery shoes…There was also a Tattooed model, an elderly lady dressed in a CHICKEN OUTFIT, a former Aston Villa pin up girl (who was cool, witty and said she used to be 29 stone,) a guy from Belfast, who thought a bomb or something shifty was under his chair, a guy opposite me who had flown in from Perth and to my right sat a football player…

We had to blow a balloon up and draw whatever we wanted on it…

Football Player: ‘What have you drawn on your balloon?’

Me: ‘Boobs…You’ve drawn a football net… We’re so creative. Lol’

Then he starts reading everything about me. We had these sheets by us, that pretty much stated our lives in 2 pages of A4. I didn’t LET him read it…he just couldn’t stop reading it. (Must be my charm.)

Football Player: ‘You look great! You’re really pretty. You’re soo…’

Me; ‘Thanks. That’s sweet. Lol.’

Football Player: ‘As if your body’s like that and you’ve had two kids.’

(He kept reading notes about me, putting his head up and then making a statement.)

Me: ‘Hahah. Smooth. Scoring all the points.’

Footy Player: ‘So you’re a blogger and model. What’s a glamour model? I’m having to take a break from football…that’s why I’m here. I bought out my contract and..’

Me: ‘Where are you from? Who did you play for?

Footy Player: ‘France. I’m here because of football. It’s my life. I love it. I just hate the other shit that comes with it. I’ve played for lots of clubs…Like Tottenham…*******…..********** but…yeah, I guess I don’t look really professional. I’m not playing right now…I’ve actually moved to Leeds.’

(Then he told me loads of secrets that I cannot possibly tell you)

…and in that moment I actually felt really bad for him…because an unhappiness swirled about him….But we were there to do a job that day and everyone there…did. He was a really open guy…quite quiet… I didn’t fancy him at all….he just wasn’t my type…but he was a good friend during that day. He sort of latched onto me because he trusted me.

I felt bad for him because at one point, all the guys were just stood around him constantly, asking him continuous questions about ‘football this, football that…’ and all the things he didn’t want to talk about…I watched it and just saw him look uncomfortable. Show business, is not something that he is necessarily used to.

I felt bad because you can literally ask me anything. I write a whole online diary about my entire existence. I bloom when a camera is plonked in my face. Opening up about my life, what I think and making a ‘show’ of it, is all is my forte… It’s where I feel comfy. AND I do not LIKE to see other people feeling UNCOMFORTABLE. I wanted to go tell his story for him. Lol.

But then, as life would have it, he too got trapped in a mirrored room, with a giant elastic band strapped onto his waist. Again, like moi….he toooo, had to have it ‘stretched out and pinged back’ upon himself. 🙂 Kinda ‘broke him into’ entertainment.

Just a great day. I had a blast. I met so many people, who were all so different to me. I was fascinated. Sometimes, I found them a bit boring, but other times I found them alright. Lol. Plus, I’m never wearing swimming goggles ever again. I’m a bloody glamour puss…not a…Goggled, boobied… life guard. AND i was in flipping trainers!!! EWW! On the way there, a guy named ‘Trigger’ tried to make me GET IN HIS CAR.

Me: ‘No. You’re alright mate. I’ll just walk.’

Trigger: ‘Well gimme ya numba den..’

Me: ‘My phone doesn’t work. 🙂 Godda go.’

Trigger: ‘Get in my car. Honest. I’ll takes you there. I’m a good person me.’

Me: ‘I am absolutely sure you are. And I am absolutely not getting in your car. Lol But thank you so much, banter was fun…’

I couldn’t wait to get home Sunday evening. Then I went through emailed drama…so I just left it.

Too blessed to be stressed. *Shimmie everywhere.*

On the train there though, this guy…I don’t even know his name? Anyway, he was from Chesterfield, got on my train, had a huge Ikea bag filled with clothes, he was wearing a beanie hat and an oversized jacket. He tooo, was also en route to Manchester and sat on the chair next to me.

Funny guy,  and so different to me, but we got on well. Bless him.

Now, I usually hate talking to strangers on the train. I’m chatty. But i usually like to chill, as I spend my life talking to strangers and selfie posing with or for them. I really liked talking to this stranger because he humored me and right from the moment he sat down he apologized for having the hugest bag in the world.

Him: ‘Are you getting off soon? Should we swap places?’

Me: ‘Yeah, if you want… I’m off at the next stop.’

Him: ‘Stockport’s a good 40 mins away yet. We’ll be fine.’

Turns out he used to work at Tesco’s, hated it so much because it made him feel worthless, just like a number. And that’s like any normal ‘just to make money‘ job really…If you don’t create your own dream and work it, you end up working someone else’s dream, where you are always a number…even when they try and tell you you’re not. And you’re a classed as a ‘number’ because you can quite easily be replaced…even if you think you can’t.

Him: ‘I gave up my job, my everything and just fucked off to Amsterdam really for a month… It was great.’

He said it like he couldn’t feel more liberated. I liked it, because he wasn’t scared to let go of something that made him feel miserable.

Him: ‘I think i just sat in this cafe, the whole time and spend about £1000 in a week doing nothing… I met this couple and they had started up a clothing business…They were travelling around, selling clothes…I liked it, so I told them that I was completely gonna steal their idea and did.’

That’s what he does now…He owns ‘Red & Blue Umbrella’ which is a Vintage clothing company. He’s opened up a store in Manchester (that’s where he was taking the clothes.) It’s four months new and is looking to open up in Leeds, Edinburgh and London? I might have just made London up?

Nicest guy, funniest guy, and now on his way to doing great things…after giving up something that wasn’t true to his heart.

Me: ‘You’re gonna do well.’

Him: ‘Yeah, it’s still early days yet… Plus, I believe that you can FAIL at something YOU HATE, so you might as well give something a go and maybe fail at something you LOVE.’

Me: ‘I love that.’

Him: ‘I don’t even know if I saw that couple in Amsterdam. It was either all the ‘shrooms’ or actual human beings…couldn’t really tell you.’

Either way. Lol. It worked out for him.

I was sat next to him and I was showing him the pics that I had just posted on Instagram…( it was enthralling for him, i’m sure, lol) and he showed me how to work depop.

I will be posting products on my depop this week , for you to buy…at some point.

These were my Instagram pics. 🙂 Lol.

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Me: ‘My stop…Godda go!’

Then I headed on my way. I looked back. He didn’t see me look back, and I saw him looking at his phone and laughing. He looked really happy. Then some middle aged lady asked to sit next to him..He shuffled his Ikea bag over.

Chick Friend Jodie: ‘As if he just randomly got on a train and just so happened to sit next to you. It’s always really awkward for them because you’re someone who they don’t know immediately, but then discover. But they discover it during their time of sitting next to you on the train, or whilst you’re at the bar ordering a gin… It’s crazy for them.’

Me: ‘It’s not crazy. It’s not that good a discovery. Lol. But a guy who came and sat at my table…That New Jersey one, when I went to visit Ronnie…he actually said that he excused himself from the table, went to the toilet, Googled me, saw a bunch of pictures and read my last blog post, before sitting himself back down. I thought he had gone to do a wee. I’m actually oblivious to it I like it though. I like it when they read my blog.’

Happy Tuesday…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ups & Downs & Those Jiggly Bits of Doo Daa

Things have weirdly turned out great! I’m feeling good. I had a rough weekend. It wasn’t rough as in ‘drinky,’ just rough as in tough. I was kinda ‘down beat,’ feeling low, like the wind had been taken out my sails a bit and I needed to pull my kitten socks up, wake up the next morning and feel wonderful. The great thing about those moments, where you’re swirled in a case of ‘da blues’ is the simple fact that they’re only temporary. I’m a positive chick. I’m good with life, because i’ve fought so hard to make it my bestie. We’ve shared some times! We’ve done it over rummy cocktails. I’m confident enough to say that  The Gods have now cut me some slack and i’m really lucky…always really lucky. But jeeze, have I noticed that when you’re down….all kinds of shit happens to you, in a dodgy ‘domino’ fashion. At one point I just stood there, pissed myself laughing and hoped some granny would just run over me with her wheeled machine.

Everything kept going wrong. Everything! One after the other. I couldn’t wait to get home and just be with the kids. I mean almost got beat up my some strange, feisty woman in a bar, who declared me a snotty ‘patronizing bitch.’ She wanted to gracefully, ‘rip my head off’ or something….and simply because she had lost her mind and insecurity had got the better of her. Delicious! I wouldn’t look good without a head. How inconvenient of her. After my boobs, it’s my best bit!  (We’re all girls. We’ve all been there. Some of us handle it better than others.) If you’re going to attempt to be a Goddess…Don’t be a crazy one. It makes you look stupid….really really stupid. It makes you NOT a Goddess. Not one at all. But in a way I was pleased, because in that moment, I couldn’t have LOOKED MORE sophisticated. I looked like I was dipped in champers and served on a silver tray. If you’re going to do FEISTY. Do  it with charm. Do it with a class that’s smug, yet direct. I assure you, the rough, ‘elbows, loud shouty, knees to the ears thing….is…Well….It’s HILARIOUSLY tasty in the most disgraceful manner.

Yipppeeeeeeee!

Anyway, once I got home and spent loads of time with the babies and just focused on doing the things that I love…I slept well and bizarrely, when I woke, I felt okay. I felt delicious.

I spent my busy Monday surrounded by my chick friends, who are just GREAT. I mean, yeah they definitely pissed themselves at me nearly getting beaten up and then shared their own stories of weekend debauchery….trampolines, gin, Leeds games, birthdays, forgotten loin fruit, and vaginas that look like pork pies that may come with a gelatine layer on them. (That was actually a comment that ‘Double B’ made a week ago… about imaginary ‘pork pie’ vaginas. Lol. I forgot to mention it, so I shoved it in for kicks. I love her.)

Double B: ‘Honestly, I think her vagina is a pork pie and comes with a gelatine layer.’

And today was just ‘GOOD NEWS’ Tuesday! I mean, I was bright as a button. Beaming with ‘ooh laa.’ I had something in the back of my mind. I can’t really tell you what, but I guess like all girls, I really care for someone and I don’t…Well….blah. I’ll leave it at that.) I didn’t let it get to me. I glamour pussed onward with a smile.

Now, the great thing about my weekend was that I CHOSE to be really PRODUCTIVE. So I pulled myself together, and didn’t surrender to ‘da blues’ and instead set myself up for opportunity. Work opportunity. I told you, I’m writing a book, I’ve got a bunch of auditions and shoots etc…But at the weekend, I tried hard to turn dreams into reality….

…because of that ‘GOOD NEWS TUESDAY’ OCCURED.

You can do anything. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. Good things happen to good people.

I got a phone call today…a good one. It was work related and it shocked me so much that I couldn’t even believe it. It made me squeak. I haven’t squeaked since August! I looked at ‘Firmonnell’ and literally squeaked with excitement at her. I’m at my best when i’m that happy!!! I get on such a buzz that I feel on top of the world. And it felt good because it was something that I really wanted and really went for. I found my inner fearless and well I just knew… It made me giddy!

From that point on, I was A QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!  And again the weird thing was, that when i felt SO WONDERFUL, just filled with excitement and kitty cat beams…ALL THINGS GREAT STARTED TO HAPPEN TO ME, one after the other! It was crazy. I could’ve tripped up and FOUND a pot of treasure at my feet, I felt that lucky. All sorts happened. More opportunity. More great phone calls. Good news. My best gay friend Theo in LA randomly messaged me to tell me he was sending me a surprise gift! I received a ton of really positive messages from blog fans and more and more good news kept pouring in. I booked shoots and jobs and everything. It just made my day wonderful!

This was one of the messages I got today from a Blog Fan…

‘Hey Chrissie, just to remind you this morning; you’re powerful beyond measure. So be that girl who wakes up with a purpose and intent, who shows up and never gives up, who believes anything is possible and willing to work for it. I hope this week will be ridiculously amazing just like you. I’m so inspired by you. Thank you.’ 

How lovely is that!!! Makes me smile! It means a lot.

Everything is changing. I’m headed into a really lovely and super exciting chapter. It’s all new and spangly and I…well i’m looking forward to it.

(Do know that when i’m trying to be wonderful, my delightful chick friends are currently Whatsapp grouping me and calling me ‘shit’ because I apparently can’t remember birthdays…and that’s some kind of duty of mine. I hope ‘Hustle Barbie’s hair goes wrong on Thursday. I told her it was her next big prank. 😉 )

Hustle Barbie: ‘Don’t fucking say that to me! I’m already anxious!’

Anyway, I’m off. I have a bath ready and it needs me. I spent all night Googling this season’s ‘Jimmy Choo’ shoe line yesterday. It’s exhausted me with utter pleasure. 😉

I hope you’re all feeling lucky. Work hard at what you love. Chase what makes you happy. Don’t give up. Love boldly. It’s the most powerful force in the entire world and go get whatever is YOURS! You deserve it!