Loyalty, Life & Male Models

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Me: ‘He doesn’t fancy you because you’re a swimmer & he’s a male model.’

Vanny B: ‘But he should. I can swim places. I have trophies and shit.

Me: ‘Male models, are surrounded by female models ALL DAY, for work. They’re in an industry littered with the most beautiful women, and they themselves are classed as the most handsome men. Every single male model I know…has a model wife….not a swimming one. Lol.’

Vanny B: ‘But i’m in a dress…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but if SHE wore that dress, she’d look all petite, delicate and fragile. She where’s it well, because it’s her job. Throw HER, in a pool…She ain’t gonna out swim you. But whocares. Men aren’t arsed about about swim offs. They don’t pick wives on their swimming ability. I even bet that some professional male swimmers date models. Haha.’

Vanny B: ‘There are times when I love you, but today you’re such a bitch. Lol.’

I’m sassy today. But comfy! I had to take my jeans off and blog in just knickers and a top, with my legs in a sitting down ‘v’ shape and my pink laptop placed centrally inbetween. I felt all tight ans stuffly and to me that’s the worst feeling ever. I need to feel loose and comfy, in order to smash out a badass blog.

I’ve had to drag myself off instagram because it’s unhealthy for out souls. Obviously, my job is to be ‘social.’ I’m a blogger…a model…blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, I have to post daily and be all over it. YET, you can drive yourself nuts by trailing through everyone’s profiles. We waste so much time focusing on what other people are up to. We can get SO carried away and creative with it. It’s not always good. Now I just ‘post,’ leave it and ‘Thank’ the people who have taken the time to write me a comment.

(I always do that, because firstly I think it’s good manners and secondly…i’m far from stuck up. Nothing is worse to me, than stuck up talent. If you take away all the people who take the time to ‘Like/Comment/or Heart’ your content ‘socially’….then you no longer have an audience, you no longer have a social presence & you no longer have as much clout. And we’re in and still headed into a social generation. Your biggest stars of the future, WILL BE, your SOCIAL stars.

Like Gary V said, ‘Everyone thought that the TV star would never surpass the radio star….People were 10 years behind. Look what happened…It’s now the same with TV stars and Social Media stars….Start building your online business now. It doesn’t matter what field you are in…you can turn it ‘social.’

I’ve gone on a ramble. I do that! It’s shit. What was I gonna say? I got a great Snapchat from the girls this morning…filled with ‘whispers’ and giggles. I love being a girl, it’s so cute.

I’m having a decent day today. I’m checking through all my collabos and going through the ones that are well suited. It’s exciting. Lots of  ‘anti ageing’ skincare is coming my way. Lol. I’ve got the BMC email which is owned by the delighted Saffron Drewitt Barlow and Venom, which came via ‘Diags’ from Towie.

I also have shoots for brands, shoots for content and shoots for kicks. What am I on about? Nothing is for kicks.

What you need to know is that I’m loving it. I have the best job in the world, because all i’m doing is my own life…and it’s a business now. Lol.

I had really great ‘messaging‘ last night before bed and when you ‘happy message’ before bed..be it chipper or sexy…It’s always delightful. I’m naturally sexy and naturally chipper.  It helps you have the most blissful 40 winks, doesn’t it. I like going to be bed feeling somewhat adored…All of us do… We sleep better.

It kinda made me flash backed some of the moments, that we had shared, then I realized that a whole year had almost passed. That’s crazy!

He actually received meal time selfies from Wunna Land yesterday. I mean, who wouldn’t adore me, right!?! 😉 I’m fun. It’s all exciting.

But, being smart… I take everything with a ‘pinch of salt’ until I have it in my hand. (Even though I wear my heart on my sleeve.) I just don’t wanna get let down and look stupid…AGAIN. Lol.

I mean there’s always things like ‘loyalty’ and ‘thoughtfulness‘ that I always try and look for. To me, they’re things that go without saying and I’m the most loyal human. Flirty, but loyal.

It’s just something you witness over time, isn’t it…

Right, I need to get out and about and shoot some more content. It’s the most gorgeous afternoon in Yorkshire today.

I’m feeling really lucky.

Kisses,

Chrissie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boys Night, Dating Tips & Auditions…

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Really busy time, so i’m gonna have to bustle through this. I have a ‘dashy’ weekend ahead, which means schedules, train times, those Wunna Land bits of ‘showbizziness’ and…as always… life to conquer. I’ll do it. I always do. And right now, I never felt more confident. I try not to waste time looking over at what other people are doing (I used to do that a lot, it’s human nature…we all get a little nervy.)

However, instead, I’m now just focusing on MY land..WUNNA LAND. If you give something 100 percent…and you’re good at what you do, there is absolutely NO WAY in the jeepers, that you will not succeed.

Luckily, my job right now, is the art of  just ‘BEING ME.’ So, if I balls that up, then there’s no help for me. Nor is there enough wine to settle my soul.

I ended up on ‘boys night’ at Ego the other night. I did ‘Girls Night’ didn’t I, last Saturday? I’m one of those chicks who has a great mix of friends, be they girls, boys, young, old….The mix is a ‘jiggle’ but it’s great.

I love boys night. Not as much as girls night, as boys night is far more reserved…My chick friends and I literally tell each other EVERYTHING…and we don’t care, we’ll pour it all out, the good with the bad, with the ugly. Boys are less ‘drama’ and they keep their secrets to themselves…M guy friends are open, yet their level of ‘openess’ is carefully monitored by their pride and sense of masculinity.

(Aside from ‘Jonesez’ he’s like a girl and will cry out his problems over a cocktail, with me.)

But yes, I met Webbo, Dipper and Jonesez for dinner and drinks. They were ‘after work’ suited and booted and then I sort of just flounced in a bit late, all a beam, smiles and with a…

‘Two for One margaritas with a salted rim please!’

I am all about a salted rim. 🙂

We chatted, we caught up, they slagged other boys off and they drilled me about ‘the girls.’

‘What were they saying about us?’

‘What did she say about ME?’

‘Who’s best in bed out of…?’

‘Do they like me? I bet they slagged me off?’

‘Yeah, but honestly…gang bangs are gross…’

‘Why does he always come in and touch me…Don’t man slap me!!’

‘I’m not arsed me, I’ve just said i’m sharing with someone else…’

‘I love it when you get your nipple out on your selfies Wunna.’

‘Shall we eat. I’m starving..’

‘It’s not my fault..You picked her!’

‘Are you honestly still obsessing?’

‘Why are the dudes on your Facebook always asking to marry you?’

‘Yeah, but our Girls night isn’t sweet and lame. We don’t plait each others hair to Boyband tunes. We’re all SASSY…it’s hardcore.’

‘Why have you stopped getting cocktails Wunna?’

‘Stop trying to get me pissed.’

The thing about ‘Boys Night’ is that there is always a boys code…and even though i’m a chick, having all guy friends in LA…I know the code…It’s kinda like ‘Girl Code,’ but you don’t have to remind them not to say anything. ( I do prefer the drama of a ‘Girls Night’…and mainly because i’m a girl. Yet, I am sizzled over with a BOYS sense of inappropriate humour….I don’t care…It’s hilarious. So yes, boys night was ace! I know some great guys!)

BOY CODE, SAVE AS!

I’m currently sat with a half a Peroni, at The Carleton trying to smash out this blog. I was on a phone audition all last night. I had one through the afternoon and then I had to shoot, followed my bambinos and reply to all my ‘socials.’

At the same time, I was going back and forth on email with my agent…and it was all pretty manic. I’m having a really busy time, but i’m loving it. I’m really enjoying and i’m enjoying it because I do what I love.

I have noticed that I don’t like ‘fuss.’ I like everything to be taken care of…with no ‘fuss.’ I don’t like the ‘faffiness’ of projects…I just like to get on with things. That’s when it comes to work and dating….

This is actually a really good tip for guys..

GIRLS DO NOT LIKE FUSS…WE WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF SHIT…

Like, if you were to ask us out on a date…We’d prefer if it you took charge, stood up all manly and just said…

‘Right, are you free… on this date….to do this…? Great! I’ll pick you up at *this time…’

(And you organised everything, so we can just get dolled up, enjoy the night and adore you. That’s how it works. So, it’s not just when are you free? It’s…’Are you free on…? Great…I’ll pick you up at..’ It’s gentlemanly.)

In the past, whenever i’ve had to organise a man, i’ve hated it. I’m a ‘Girl Boss,’ I love it when a guy takes care of the little things. It’s thoughtful. They take the stress away from you.

I actually remember being sat at the Coffee Bean, outside in the sun, in West Hollywood, by the Beverly Center. I used to go there every morning.

This guy, with shoulder length blond hair and sunglasses, who was also a model, called ‘Berlin,’ used to sit with me and chat life, each morning…I remember how schooled he was in the art of dating…But I guess the LA boys are, because they do it so much and they do it well. They can’t treat a girl badly on a date, because the ‘show of it all’ is SO important in Hollywood…plus ALL THE GIRLS TALK. You get a bad rep…no girl with touch you.

Berlin: ‘Well, I just text her and told her that i’d love to do dinner with her at ‘Koi,’ tomorrow night and that i’d pick her up at 7pm…and because it was all sorted for her…she just said. I didn’t give her time to think. Lol. Chicks like to have everything organised for them.’

Then we’d go on our auditions for the day. But he was right! Lord knows what he’s up to now?

Anyway, I really do need to go…So sorry for the quickie blog ;)..but sometimes ‘quickies’ are awesome!

Busy, busy weekend ahead!

Hope you loved today’s selfies…

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Thank you for following my diary.

Chrissie x

 

Everything Chills & More Awards

Right now, in June 2017, i’m all about ‘chills.’ I’ve had a dramatic and simply fun life. It’s been complicated at times, it’s been great, it’s been hard, but  i’ve loved it. The stories I could tell you who shock the frillies off you. I’ve felt every emotion under the sun that one little girl from the orient could go through. But i’ve achieved so much that I could pour a bubbly prosecco and *cheers* to life with a ‘thank you,’

Hasn’t June zoomed by? Infact, we’re jiggling in that time of the year, where from this point onward everything *swooshes* by at the speed of light and before you know it, we’re sat with the people we love by log fires, letting Christmas, Baileys and festive spirit, magic it’s way around us. (I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a Christmas Birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I could take or leave Summer.I adore the warmth of it. Yet, there’s just not the same kind of magic to the season.)

My chick friends and I have been shit at dieting. I say shit. But to be fair, we have been salad eating. Yet every single time the weekend comes, we guzzle pizza and scoff cocktails 😉 like ‘plus size’ is life. Lol. If i’m being honest. I’m quite happy right now and the twenty six year old ‘Hollywood’ version of ‘model’ me would’ve died before she touched a carbohydrate. She would’ve weeped for ‘donkies’ over a pretty boy that didn’t love her.

The thirty six year old version of me is COOL. I am the most comfortable I have ever been and the most emotionally stable kitten that you could ever cross paths with. I couldn’t be more glamorously comfy with who I am and what i stand for. And that took a long time. Haha! I’ve mellowed out. I’m chilled. Don’t get me wrong, I’m passionate. I’m spicy. You don’t mess with me or anyone I care about. Yet, at a time where everything couldn’t be going better for me in life…A time where you’d think that i’d totally lose the plot….I haven’t. I’m not. I’m delighting in peace, laughter and eradicating anything or anyone stressful from tinkering around me.

It’s bliss.

‘She’s literally the most Down to Earth girl you’ll ever meet, cleverly disguised as a DIVA.’

As I said before, I have busy times ahead and i’m really excited and lucky for having them. Yet i’m aced it now, when it comes to balance. Nothing seems to stress me out any more. I have it down. I focus on the things that matter to me. I express how I feel and I live. You should too! Make your choices and then what will be will be. That’s life.

I mean I just had a convo with this amazing guy about life and how we should always blame it. Lol. (This is after he found ‘first date’ hamsters on Facebook)

‘You only live once. I could die tomorrow happy, or you could be stuck with me until I’m 80 and that’s life’s fault.’

I guess, I’m just saying go with it and enjoy it.  Leave stress to the foolish.

But anyway away from that ‘Fairytale Blond’ wants a Cockapoo. (She’s going to have to do a lot of ‘COCKapooing’ to get what she wants.)  ‘Hustle Barbie’ has an Invisalign brace. (I want one to. I hate my wonky bottom tooth.) Double B is getting ready to Baywatch swimsuit it in Greece. (Jealous.) Firmonnell had a new face today. (She smashed work today.) Lady Shizzle opted for ‘wine is the answer’ and Mel has kittens!!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

(In a shed.)

‘The pregnant cat adopted me and has now had kittens in my shed!!’

I’ve got a sore throat…and no I don’t need ‘Penis..cillin’ for it. If I could do anything right now, I would be setting off to the luxury log cabin in the forest. I love it there. It’s my happy place.

Although i’m all about ‘chills’ i’m looking for excitement. I enjoy bursts of *surprise,* yet I am very rarely shocked by anything. It would be nice to be shocked by something. It would be nice to feel a *burst* of excitement.

I will say that, I’m super honoured to have been nominated and then shortlisted for the Diversity in Media awards….I know! For ..

‘BLOGGER OF THE YEAR.’

Crazy! I’ve gone form ‘Content of the Year’ to ‘Blogger of the Year’ in a wink. And i’m not one to focus on awards, as win or lose my blog is about my journey through life….It goes on….

Yet unlike the other awards…I want to win this one. Diversity in Media means a lot to me. I adore what it represents.

The Awards are in September…And you can vote for your favoruites NOW.

Here’s the link to VOTE for me DIRECTLY.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DIMA2017 

But if you want to see all those shortlisted you may. But still VOTE FOR ME. 😉

Scroll down to BLOGGER OF THE YEAR and click VOTE NOW, UNDER MY FACE  Simples. LOL.

http://www.diversityinmediaawards.com/shortlisted-individuals.html 

Hope you have a wonderful evening.

I love you,

Chrissie

 

 

Succeeding On Purpose….

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. You can do anything. And I don’t mean that in a cliched ‘Yeah, you can’ cheerleader kinda way, I really mean it. Put your mind to ANYTHING, work really hard to get there, keep your goal in focus, be great at what you do (which is important…don’t forget to be great at what you do, or get great at it ) and go for it.

People who are different to you, will sometimes make you think that what you’re trying to achieve is impossible. They’ll laugh at you. Put you down. Tell you that…

‘..it’s impossible.You’re stupid. You’re impossible. You’re stupid…’

But you’re not. It’s baby steps. And I guarantee that if you take the right steps and you have faith in your own ability to achieve, without taking a single bit of notice of those who have alternative dreams to you and do not believe in your cause, (we’re all different and that’s what’s great about us,) you will not ONLY GET THERE…but when you do, those same people will be telling THEIR friends a story of how they knew you, know you, met you or were with you. I cannot tell you how many times i’ve watched and witness that happen.

Dreams come true everyday. Don’t get it twisted.

The only reason why i’m writing this blog, is that sometimes I get so caught up in telling you the story of my own world, which is what I do and what I love to do…that I forget to hit *pause* and inspire you. Right now, I’m being called an ‘internet sensation’ (lofty title) and ‘internet sensations‘ have a voice, don’t they? More than I realized….

There are times when I’ll get so swirled up in a cocktail dripped glitter and a bound of naked leap frogging stories, my good times with friends and the ups and downs of my own life, that I forget to tell you that I made something out of nothing, just by being so dedicated to it and purely out of love. You can do the same! But only if you want to. If you don’t, then fuck it off and enjoy the sunshine. 🙂 But then don’t moan when other people make their dreams come true, because you prioritized inefficiently. Lol.

Back in the day…people use to say to me ALL THE TIME, when only a tiny handful of people would check into chrissiewunna.com daily and they’d ramble on about why I bothered doing it…I was called all sorts…openly. Really awful stuff actually. Lol. But I didn’t care, because at that time, years and years ago…I didn’t even know why I was disciplined enough to write it everyday? I just loved doing it. I loved telling my story. That’s all I knew…that’s why I did it. It still makes me happy.

YEARS ON…that little blog on Myspace, that I used to write on display computers at the Apple Store at The Beverly Center in LA, ended up being some ‘hit.‘ It shocked me even! But I’ve worked hard. Infact, i’ve stopped agreeing with people who say that the blog has been a success by accident. Lol. Ten years is a long time to have been dedicated to something almost everyday. Surely I get a pat on the kitty back for that! 😉

The greatest thing about telling your story, is that no one in the entire world can do it better than you. Not one other person can be better at it, than you.

I get to speak freely, live openly and enjoy my world and story. I’m never afraid of what people think about me. I’m confident girl. More girls should be confident. I want to inspire that. I’m never afraid to say what I think about things, situations, people or places. I write a positive, good humoured blog. I’m warm by nature because i’m happy.

If people read something about me that shocks them…Well, that’s been my life. What can I do about it? All you have is your story. What else do you have? There’s been bad moments. (Which makes me human.) But there’s be GREAT MOMENTS and I’m living a GREAT MOMENT NOW!

If more people believed in themselves and didn’t act upon what others thought of them….things would be better. I don’t just mean that in work and business. I mean, you also see it in love..when girls or guys change who they are, or manipulate their natural personality in dying hope that the object of their desire will like them more. IT DOESN’T WORK IN THE LONG RUN. And i’m only saying it because I’ve done that in the past. Ofcourse I have. But i’m not a kid anymore sat infront of my laptop with a ‘Dear Diary..’ tag line, widdled in natural, growing up, ‘please love me‘ insecurities. Lol.

I’m all grown up  now and I grew up fast emotionally because I had to…. so much shit happened to me, both good and bad…and let me tell you it feels GREAT!

Nothing feels better than the way I feel now, and I wish I could bottle it up and sell it to you, like zillions of people say they can, with ‘self help‘ books this and ‘aid you with life’ that.

But I can’t. No one can. Why? Well, because you kinda have to go through your own story, your own ups and own downs and champion through your own version of life, to get to a place where you can finally kick off your kitten heels and feel comfy.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t so something…

You’ve got it in ya….Find your thing and go for it…

🙂

Ps/ Just as i’ve been writing this, a friend has messaged me saying…

‘Wunna you’re so jammy. As if you’ve managed to finally have an entire career where you just get paid for existing and telling people about it.’

I think I deserve a prosecco!

PPS/ The above picture was one of the shots that was captured by Clare Pritchard, I blogged about my shoot with her and how amazing she was at getting you to tell a story, via your eyes, your soul, your snapshot. That day I became her ‘Fallen Angel’ and you can tooooo! She is the MOST TALENTED photographer around and I have shot with SO MANY PEOPLE all over the entire world. Who knew that the best one, was right on my doorstep!

clarepritchardphotography.com

PPPS/ I had a wobble today, so I messaged Jack Parsons who i’m lucky to know and meeting again for business in July. He is currently listed in the TOP TEN Digital Leaders of the year! In five minutes he turned my ‘wobble’ back into confidence. It is important that you have ‘go to’ people for those of times of ‘wobble.’ Find them. They’ll help you. And not because they benefit from you, but because they actually care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Next ‘IT’ Girl & Inspiration

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Well I have certainly noticed that every little girl in a little bit of limelight, or a huge amount of stardust is wanting to be the next UK Girl of ‘IT.’ (And when i say, ‘every little girl,’ i’m referring to those in entertainment, who have maybe shone their bit of ‘look at me,’ been on the telly, wanting their moment of stardom, have been around for ages, or the ones that have just experienced their first five minutes and now want to roll it into a future.)

Of recent, I’ve been invited to blog a lot of events, do lunches, shimmie at celebrity parties etc..where i’ve charmingly chittered to huge amount of glittery people, hung out with a dandy bunch of ‘heels’ and watched everything or nothing taking place, right before my very eyes, be it in public, behind the scenes or in Cyberland. (I watched everything closely. I adore the psychology behind it all. I love studying people and seeing what makes them tick, what their next move is…like a creepy but glamourous stalker Lol…..and like i’m some kind of dodgy Mystic Meg, I predict stuff accurately with a *wiggle,* a *giggle* and a bloody good *wink.*

2017 is the year that everyone shoots for a ‘COMEBACK!’

I’ve heard this phrase been thrown about a lot at events…

‘I want to be the next Kim Kardashian.’

Or

‘ We ARE the answer to the Kardashians.’

And it’s sort of making me smirk a little and I shouldn’t, because gosh, i’ve felt all that before. I get it. But i guess, the problem here is, that there already is a Kim Kardashian and you can’t BE HER EVER. You can only BE YOU. (Hard to hear, I know. But it’s true.) And to top it all off, there is also three more Kardashians and two Jenner’s, who have quite solidly and rather excellently formed some kind of ‘IT’ girl, power house that has taken over the world. It’s amazing. Who WOULDN’T want to be them! Well done! *Applause all round.*

BUT like i said, THEY ARE The Kardashians and you can’t be them. Nor can you be the UK’s answer to them. They ARE ‘THEM.’ And they’ll glitter piss all over you, if you attempt to wangle on their block.

However, i’m not trying to be negative here, as if anything i’m a positive person, a warm hearted being, i’m ambitious, fun loving and someone who enjoys to inspire and be inspired. I’m not one of those ‘tooly’ narky people, who just moan at everything. They’re dicks. But i’m honest and loyal to my honesty. So what i’m trying to say, is that THE ONE AND ONLY THING THAT YOU CAN DO OR BE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE….IS YOU!

Not another single other being on this entire planet can be you, better than you, so do it well. Don’t focus on what other’s are doing or what they’re being, or how they’re looking or what they’re saying. By all means, be inspired by them. Study them. That’s what they’re there for. All great new ideas have usually been formed off the back of someone else’s great idea. Yet remember to concentrate on what YOU’RE doing, what’s great about YOU, as a brand or a person remember what YOU stand for. What YOU celebrate! And when you do that, and you stay focused, you work hard, you be creative with it, and give it your all, your time, your heart, your dedication, but you do it well, you do it smartly. You proactively move towards your goal and you use your flipping brain. If you do all that, I think you’ll find that people may begin to notice…and when they do…YOU SMASH IT!!

Focus on what you do well…and do it!

So yes, Kim K has done really well and that means it CAN BE DONE, so you CAN be the next UK girl of ‘IT.’ You don’t have to BE her, LOOK like her, DO like her…You just be you, as there’s room for everyone, to ‘BOSS IT.’ Some are going to be better than other’s at it. In 2017 EVERYONE’S ATTEMPTING A COMEBACK. (Including myself. But more than anything, career wise…i’m a blogger, a writer..that has turned into this mini sized ‘personality,’ after being on the telly for a bit, being a model for a bit and  designing a sex toy range for Ann Summers…a bit. But i did it all well. I like to think that i made ‘impact’ because you an do a lot of things and have no one notice. Lol)

But back to his ‘IT’ girl malarky, like i said, when Kim wanted to be the next Girl of ‘IT’ she was watching the likes of Hilton, who had the world eating out of her hand. She knew her personally and had done for years, even went to school with her and she was nothing like Paris, yet had the same ambition.

Obviously I know Paris well, I am a product of her UK TV show, I spent a lot of time with her, when she was at her PEAK and that was during filming and after the show had ended. ( I have a lot to be thankful for, to the producers and casting at ITv2 for putting me on that show. It put wind under my sails and i am a massive Hilton fan, as i’ve never watched a girl work harder.)  But yes, both of those chicks, utterly different, yet both absolute ‘BOSSES’ of ambition.

So with the right ingredients, determination and the correct people on your side…you can do it too. (Something tells me that Hilton is about to sly on in and snatch back her crown from Kim K. Lol I can see it.)

Anyway, away from that….today I was utterly inspired. Right, I drive. But i have this driver, this taxi guy who I always use when i need to go to an event, i need a last minute glammy run or just a driver that I can trust. Today, I called upon him to ride ‘Baby Junior and I’ to Toys R Us in Doncaster. (Important Event.) I don’t know why i called him for a lift, but I did and it seems as though whenever i need a pep talk, because all yesterday I was getting stressed, ‘The Gods’ up above send me ‘Rob The Driver.’ He’s like a weird Guardian Angel.

I get in, we start talking, I ask him about his world, we have a giggle, Junior asks for the tunes cranked up and Rob then shoots in and asks me about my world. We talk life, love, work and dating. Now, Rob’s seen through the years, driven the car with different male faces in the back, over the years, rode me to events, piked me up from them and heard all the gossip and well…he’s in good stead to deliver advice, without me asking, into Wunna land.

And to cut a long story short…after he had told me that I needed to date someone as ‘busy and ambitious’ as I was, who had similar goals, as no one else would do, as they would either be suffocating, not part of my ‘team,’ or just not get it.

‘Not to be funny Chrissie. But if i wasn’t to know you and was to see you in a bar, i wouldn’t DARE come up to you and ask you out. You don’t see it, but i do. You have a way of making a guy feel less masculine without you even knowing. That’s why you need to date someone who is ballsy, confident, doing well, has his own life going down and is on a similar path. Someone that you can look up too and think WOW! However that will just come.’

Like I said, i’m never too stressed out by my love life. It’ll all work out in the end. He’ll find me. He’ll pursue me. He’ll win me, f that’s the way it goes. Sorted. Fairytale box *ticked.* I mean Cinderella lost her goddamn shoe at an event ‘cos she was PISSED, not late for the carriage. It was Prince Charming who did all the leg work and found her, to make him hers. 🙂

But MORE IMPORTANTLY…

Rob ‘The Driver’ said this one thing, before Baby Junior and I left his car to wipe Toy R Us out, whilst everything was on sale…and that was this…

‘I have always said no one I know works as hard as you Chrissie and you’ve just got this aura about you. You were built for this. No matter where you are, people know YOU’RE THERE!! Whether you win, whether you lose…People know you are there and that’s something that can’t be bought! So look, you’re OVER HALFWAY to the finish line now….This year, you just need to go for it.’

And with a smile, a nod and this whole warm feeling of absolute inspiration that rose all the way through my soul, to make me beam, I waved him ‘goodbye,’ grabbed by little son (Junior has my exact face and it freaks me out completely) and as I swung Rob’s door shut, I knew great things were coming…

 

 

 

 

My Birthday Shimmie To Manchester

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Woke up on December 20th at 6.08am, completely naked, on top of the sheets, half my face on and my GIANT, glammy hair piece still ON MY HEAD in full glory, like it was some kinda of BIRTHDAY crown. I was in Room 825 (really nice room) of the Macdonald Manchester Hotel and Spa. I had just turned THIRTY SIX the day before and I chose to do it with good friends Big Brother Star Lisa Appleton and Celebrity Blogger, Ryan Mira, in Manchester. I had a train to catch, that would get me back to Leeds, well Pontefract at 6.57am. I had work at 8.45am and had to get there on time. I did it! But Lord knows how???  Infact, i will ALWAYS MAKE WORK, no matter how! My tummy felt like i hadn’t eaten in ages, so i did a mini (and somewhat glamourous puke) on the hotel bed (so sorry)…and then just like that, got up, got ready, got to Piccadilly train station and got on my flipping train….COMPLETELY ON TIME! In my mind, if you’re gonna *juggle* things, than you better *juggle* them well, without letting anyone down and most importantly … yourself. I smashed it! *Wiggle…Wink.*

But let’s rewind to the day before…

I had spent the entire day with my babies Ruby and Junior, doing lunch with my family…My Mum, Dad &Brother at Ego, In Ackworth. We had so much fun, that time flew and before you know it, I was rushing home to pack a bag, in a panic and getting dashed off and dropped at Barnsely train station (as it was the only station to get me to Manchester on time) in literally moments.

Boom! On a train. The 17.00 to Manchester, a bit flustered, excited for my birthday evening, ready to check into the hotel and then rush into a taxi, to go meet Lisa and Ryan at Menagerie for my birthday.

Once I hit Manchester, I had about 20 minutes to get ready and be at the joint. (I was there early. 😉  The trainee hotel ‘check in’ girl laughed as I dashed past her with a ‘She’s just checked in, in jeans and a jumper and in about a minute, she’s ready and shooting out the door dressed like Pussycat Doll.’

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I’ll fast forward, so i don’t bore you.

But i got to Menagerie, Lisa and Ryan arrived 10 minutes after me. I had called them to see how far they were, then..

*Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/* …

…as photographers basically took our picture, as we tottered into the new place. It was quiet because it was Monday. But it was my birthday and all three of us are of a drunky, fun, nature, so we didn’t even care! Within seconds we had the most delicious Pornstar Martini’s in our hands and we’re chatting away about, life, career, love, what we hoped and where we hoped, in the most glamourous location every. We even had a Kardashian conversation, which led to Ryan teaching me what a dirty ‘Jimmy Choo’ was. Lol.

‘I’m gonna call it that ALL the time now!’ Lol.

‘But she did Chrissie. She *Jimmy Chooed* him ans leaked it everywhere!’

Menagerie is utterly creative, decadent, modern, with an almost sexy twist of burlesque. It’s very current. But there’s lots going on…like champagne poured from chandeliers, dancers dangling and spinning in hoops above your table, cocktails that you share in giant swans for £100 or single drinks with fake £20 notes, burning from them. It’s very clever. Everything is presented well. Everything’s very bouji and unique. Everything in that place is ‘rich,’…and it costs.

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Anyway, we a needed air, we needed a moment. We’d laughed, gossiped, they gave me a bath bomb (that i’ve lost!! I think i left it in a bar on Canal Street??) Ryan’s shot outside already and Lisa and I are stood at the entrance Menagerie.

Couldn’t open the door for shit! It was LOCKED. Like it really was. We couldn’t move it, we were stuck and we’re sort of just looking around, trapped in this little entrance way, puzzled and laughing. Then Lisa decides to ‘hit’ a button on the side, next to the door. Y’know how some places have a ‘Press to Exit’ button, to make the door slowly ease open.

SHE HITS THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM. Hahahaha!

It’s my birthday, we’re still trapped in the entrance way, an alarm is now going off, we’re pissing ourselves laughing, the manager on duty looked all fed up with us, so we stopped laughing, so he didn’t get more annoyed. He began opening up a large doorway box and pressing all the buttons in all the land, to stop the alarm…and then this host girl walks up to the door… and just opens it. Lol. SO we weren’t even stuck. 🙂 Oops!

We were glad to get outside though, especially after Pornstar Martini’s  and were determined to enjoy my birthday night, as we swung around trees, piggy backed each other, kissed giant Polar Bears, seductively chatted up bollards and measured boobie sizes. Ryan got really into it also…As Lisa and I literally danced around a car park, HE found a ‘Santa Stop Here’ sign, started pretend hitting Lisa with it, but then dashed behind her and unzipped the back of her PVC skirt…. (In that moment, out of nowhere *Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/*)

Anyway, we decide to go back inside for food and more cocktails. Ryan’s now flirting with an Australian Waiter, with a Doctor Boyfriend, we’re telling everyone to come out with us and following them on Twitter (you always do that when you’re pissed don’t you. Lol.) I hadn’t eaten all evening, so i was feeling MERRY, looking great, sprinkled in ‘SEXY’ and then Lisa and I started talking about love, our lives, how we’re both single, good friends and then our careers. (I always say that I have it easy, as my life is an open book, you just have to Google it, open up a blog and read on…What you read is what I am…It’s my life…and you get a good grasp of who I am from it. There’s less guessing.)

And you know, away from what people THINK they may know of Lisa, if you were to know her and meet her in the flesh, she’s literally beautiful, the funniest, most genuine, down to earth, chick you’ll ever meet. But she’s ambitious and hard working. Yes, she’s an entertainer…as am I. Yet she’s been through her fair share of hard times…and you know what, after speaking to her so closely sat down with cocktails, in the middle of mood lighting and Menagerie…She deserves her moment. We gossiped about everything frankly. All the secrets in all the land.  She wants to do well…and is.

Then I had to tell her off with an..

‘EWW NO! YOU CAN’T FANCY HAIRY MEN! I HATE THAT! IT’S GROSS!’ (This was after the waiter was referred to as ‘Pretty.’)

Now, i don’t mind a GQ gent. A pretty one. Or one that has his own creative take on style. I love it. My favourite type of guy, is a guy with a great mind, intelligent, funny, fun, thoughtful, sexy and ambitious. I don’t focus on looks a much as people may think. I love eye candy, don’t get me wrong, but i’m mostly mentally and emotionally stimulated. But ofcourse, I love to feel attracted to a guy. YET Lisa loves a ‘mans, mans.’ A big rugged, muscle bound hero. Hairy even!!! Lol. I DON’T LIKE HAIRY. And i know you can’t help it. But i can’t help being a tool also, so there. 🙂

So we’re pissing ourselves laughing with Ryan, as we’re sat in a GIANT GLAMOUROUS BIRDCAGE, that has feathers entwined in it and pretend birds flying out of it, opposite a wall that has a giant electronic ‘Selfie Magic Mirror’ and a pink neon sign that says something like ‘Trade your wings in for mine.’ We’re eating olives and sipping ‘Pornstars’ and Lisa and I are actually having a conversation about porn and how it’s ruined some peoples sex lives.

Now i’m vocal in the bedroom, i’m a senusual person and well i’m not screamy, but a ‘show man’ Lol. However, Lisa says we (as in girls) get the best orgasms when we’re quiet and stay really still… and she’s right. I mean porn has made boys and men think that girls ‘get off’ by doing slutty ‘ooh’ faces at them and voicing champion ‘screeches.’ Lol. We don’t. 🙂

Wait, I’m getting distracted. 😉

We’re in Menagerie, the mood lighting is all pink, purple and dark, with bright white furniture in our booth and we’re now pissed and celebrating my birthday.

Ryan’s now thinking about Canal street, after flirting with the hot waiter. Lisa’s determined to get on with my birthday celebrations and i’m ‘Pornstar Martini’ delighted. Don’t get me wrong, things were beautiful in Menagerie, but when you’re sat in one place for ages, and you’re ‘firecrackers’ like the three of us are…it can kinda make a place feel ‘flat.’ So i simply turned my little kitten head to them, whilst sat in a bloody feathered birdcage (lol) and said,

‘Let’s fuck it off and go to canal street.’  (I am the Queen)

There was glint in our eye, laughter and we left.

As we left…and we’re NOW DRUNKIES.

*Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap*

Yet, we’re loving it now, playing up to it, picking each other up, posing, pouting, swearing, dancing. We didn’t even care! We were on birthday mode, doing Manchester, boobies under the stars and GOING FOR IT! If i’m turning thirty six, i’m lucky to be well, alive and still be able to love life!

It was like we almost *blinked* and BOOM, we were on the cobbles of Canal street…and this is when the fun happened!

Straight away, dancing under lights, posing and selfie taking with red sequinned, drag queens,bumping into other Big Brother stars, letting a Drag queen, dressed in a Sexy Santa Suit, be a DIVA  at us because she didn’t have time for our shit. Lol.

We’ve gone for it now and ended up at some bar called Churchills, because they offered us free wine (lol) and before you know it, they’re calling us on stage to sing karaoke and I feel like i sort of just blinked with my boobies and i’m stood on a stage with Lisa, as Ryan is filming it, with a microphone in my hand, SINGING ‘Wannabe’ by the fucking Spice girls, for an audience. LOL.

Honestly, we were shite. But oh my God, we gave it some welly. They loved us. Everyone was videoing and camera phoning the moment. We even got called ‘Iconic.’ HAHAHAHA. But let me tell you, being a Spice Girl is EXHAUSTING. How the HELL Mel B got through that rap section sober, I don’t know? (I was totally Mel B. 🙂 )

We get off the stage. We’re wanting wine, everyone else is wanting selfies. We’re loving it though, as we now have birthday fever. Girls and guys kept calling me ‘beautiful’ and ‘a Queen’ and when you’re dead old, you kinda adore it, don’t you. 🙂 Hahaha! It makes you feel good.

Then a group of straight boys come in. It’s now quite late and Ryan and Lisa have to head home to get the last train. I DECIDE TO STAY OUT. So, i’m now on my own, with the masses, in this bar on Canal Street, guzzling buckets of wine, with a ton of people now asking for selfies and the ‘straight ‘ boys head straight over and begin to DANCE OFF, HIT ON ME, in order to win my ‘only girl straight girl in the bar’ affection. It got so crazy that the manager had to keep pulling me out the way, or pulling them off me.

I then started having a conversation with a girl, as one guy is trying to flirt with me, by sexy dancing to Nelly and lifting up his top …and out of nowhere this other guy, darted in and started butting the ‘Nelly Dancing Guy’ out of the way to make HIS move. He was literally standing right infront of my face and giving me the ‘come ons.’ The manager (who was in a cowboy hat Lol…pulled me away again.)

I’m pissed by now, so i’m just tottering around smiling and selfie taking with those who adore Wunna land! (I followed you on Twitter Mickey Daniels! 🙂 )

Then it all just went mental!

The straight boys are now really drunk and now forcing themselves into Wunna land. A girl starts chatting to me and tells one of the boys, who’s asking me out that..

‘We’re together. She’s with me.’ 

He dances off somewhere and she turns around and says,

‘You’re too good for him.’ 

He dances his way back and then JESUS CHRIST, OUT OF NOWHERE, some other straight guy, that wasn’t even playing ‘Love Wunna,’ comes up behind him and fricking HITS HIM IN THE FACE and SMASHES A FUCKING BOTTLE OVER HIS HEAD.

Screaming happens, everything’s gone mental. He’s dragged him outside to beat him up. The girl that was ‘saving’ me from men, turns around and smashes my wine bottle on the BAR SIDE to go out and join the fight.

I’m out the way at this point, as i’ve been pushed to one side and sheltered.

THE POLICE CAME and Churchills (the bar) gets shut down for the rest of the evening,

What the absolute fuck!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED???

The cowboy dressed manager, (who was also once on Big Brother) walks up to me, makes sure i’m alright and says,

‘God! Lol! What a storm. We shouldn’t have let them in really, but we did. We’ve had to close now, as the police are here and let me tell you, THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED, IN THE HISTORY OF ME WORKING HERE.’

Then she walked me out, to another bar. Just so i’d get there safely. Lol. Yet after a drink, I left and got in a taxi. It was just too strange and a guy in a Pokeman shirt was dancing around me. He as with his Ozzie best friend, who kept telling me that she had a boyfriend, but wouldn’t say no to trying out a relationship with a girl.  Lol. They were actually lovely. So i really shouldn’t make fun of them. But i was tired now and i’d stopped having fun now, so i lied and said i needed the loo…and left them.

Got to my hotel…wiped half my face off, stripped off totally starkers, put my phone on charge, set it for five o clock in the morning, (It was 3 o clock in the morning,) and CRASHED in what felt like the comfiest bed known to mankind, in Room 825 at the Macdonald Manchester Hotel.

Missed my alarm. Shocked myself up, after feeling sick at 6.08am. 

That’s how i sailed into Tuesday. I fell asleep on my train and again just at the right time, *shocked* myself up, at the exact right station, just as people were getting off at Leeds. Missed my connection though, so I ended up in a taxi to the office.

Made it to work, bang on time, in Pontefract. Had no clue what time it was really? But ran up to the office door, with all my stay over bags, over my shoulders. I swung open the door a jar and ‘The Mighty’ looked me right in the eyes, smirked (like she had ‘been there’ herself) and in a stern, commanding, yet friendly manner, she simply says…

‘GO TO GREGGS NOW AND GET YOURSELF A COFFEE…..’

 

Lisa Appleton flashes her bum as the zip breaks on her skin tight PVC skirt