What Some Of My Friends, Say About Me…

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Morning! It’s only just turned 11am. I’ve been working since 4.30 and then spend around 3 hours driving from city to city. I’m stressed out. I’m hormonal. But really super happy, for some reason. My diet is currently SHOCKING. I’ve literally just had a mircowaved Uncle Ben’s Mexican Rice, with a Prosecco, because I couldn’t find anything else to eat…FAST. I wanted a coconut water and celery dippers…But God just didn’t want life to pan out that way..and who am I to mess with the Good Lord’s wishes?

I’ve definitely put my pre holiday weight back on, (hahaha…I influenced Herbalife well ๐Ÿ™‚ ) but to be honest, I’m not that bothered. It’s kinda gone on my boobs and thighs and i’m okay with that. ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t feel fat. I mean Jabba the Hutt’s fat. I just have ‘Lady Lumps,’ and I don’t hear anyone complaining. I feel sexy.

Anyway, I need to throw a ‘pity party’, so I’m not really going to be writing out my life today. I want some time to myself, with friends, in a quiet corner somewhere with a wine. Even though I have a lot on, i’m a little bit bored and that…. when you’re a ‘liver of life‘ is a mighty problem…as I tend to cause excitement, for no real reason. I love winding people up. I love making them feel alive, for a second.

But i’m feeling wonderful right now, because all i’m doing is LIVING. Literally LIVING, without a care in the world. I’m doing it to the fullest and with a positive beam and a giggle. I’m doing whatever I want, whenever I want…and it’s bliss. I’m loving me, loving you. I’m living for the moment. I’m not giving any shits or hoots about what anyone thinks.

You only have a short time on this Earth ball…so let’s just make our time, our story…worth it.

Don’t be afraid of anything….

But yes, because I can’t be bothered to properly ‘diary’ life today…Here is what some of MY friends, think /say about ME…..

‘Chrissie Wunna is one of life’s one offs!! Fun, fit and fabulous. She’s an amazing mum.’

‘She once sold my actual ass…YES my actual anus, at a gay bar in West Hollywood…to one of Janet Jackson’s backing dancers, for a stick of gum…I did end up sleeping with him, and she did get her gum, so technically, she’s magic.’

‘She’s a crazy bitch, but she’s so much fun. She always makes sure she has a story to tell…’

‘She’s addictive. She’s like a drug. She’s just someone who you’ll never forget.’

‘I don’t know how or why her love life is so shit. She’s literally one of the best birds I know.’

‘She has a tattoo on her right inner arm that she always lies about. Haha. It’s the last name of a guy she wanted, that she didn’t even date. HAHAHAHA. She’ll tell you some made up story about how it means something completely different. lol’

‘To say she’s so sexy….she wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s a hopeless romantic and it’s annoying. People never know that, about her.’

‘She’s someone who is really great at making YOU FEEL GOOD, Feel SPECIAL. Feel important.’

‘She’s a drinker…’

‘Her work ethic isย ridiculous. She works so HARD.’

‘Great in bed. Haha. ๐Ÿ˜‰

‘She’s not scared of anything. She is wild and free, but so down to Earth.’

‘Someone who doesn’t like to waste her time or any part of her life. She just lives it passionately.’

‘She’s one of a kind, that’s for sure.’

‘She’s really good in bed… ๐Ÿ˜‰ ‘

‘She’s crazy, but at the same time so sweet. Love her blog…it gets funny..at times….’

‘She’s great at understanding people. She’ll give anyone her time, be you homeless or the richest man in the world… She can put herself in our shoes…’

‘She once cried over a penis…because a guy with a really good penis left her and she loved his great penis… Lol.’

‘She’s a legend, dipped in sunshine and tequila.’

‘Ambitious.’

‘She’s got this energy…Even when she’s quiet….She has this presence…’

‘Really talented…’

‘Amazing sense of humour. When she’s pissed off she’s a proper dick though… she’s stubborn…’

‘She’s the girl you wished you never dumped….’

‘Smart, savvy, needy, but fun.’

‘A total attention whore, but she does it SO WELL.’

‘She lives for love and excitement and panics when she doesn’t have it or feel it anymore.’

‘Loyal, trustworthy. Really good at keeping secrets…’

‘She’s so charming. She once farted in a grocery store…and it was almost like glitter and money flew out of her symphonic booty. I’m surprised people didn’t applaud.’

‘Big headed. Quite the ego maniac.’

‘She a girly girl, with boy banter.. She’ll sit and have a pint with you & be talking about sex, or pour the finest champers, as she winks at a handsome, dressed to the nines..’

‘Confident. Bubbly. You can actually see it in her daughter.’

‘She loves being glamourous.’

‘She’s never had a guy, really actually look after her or care for her and she deserves that.’

‘She loves a looker… and is shallow when it comes to picking guys she wants to date…lol’

‘She gets everything she wants… She knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life, from being 13.’

‘She swears more when she WRITES, than she does in real life..’

‘At school, she pretended to be on her period for an entire 3 months, so she didn’t have to go swimming, because it would mess up her hair and face.’

‘Just one of those great souls…’

Cue Song:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flashbacks, Fifty Shades & My Flipping Love Life

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I keep doing this thing where I wake up at around 3am in the morning, because I can’t sleep? I sleep naked and so I’ll moan that i’m chilly, step out of bed, not remember to grab a tshirt and instead unplug my phone (priorities)ย  and just get back into bed. Then i’ll start to Google everything. Literally anything. Lol. Before I get back into bed, I’ll look in the mirror to see if I look okay, whilst it’s still dark, yet turning into morning??? Why do I do that!!?! No one’s there but ME!!!???!! I’ll Google search until I’m tired. Am I a lunatic? That seems a pretty safe option. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I did watch ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ before I went to bed….which probably didn’t help, as I have to psycho analyse everything that torments me…:) I dreamt about it all night and then found myself Googling ‘Sadists’ incase I knew any? Lol. Everyone I know is now a sadist or a psychopath. That’s what I came up with ๐Ÿ™‚ and then Iย  just fell asleep, until my kitten woke me at six clock, via the fine art of paw tapping, to make sure I was up to do get Ruby ready for school.

All the way to the school run, life moments kept flashbacking at me, during my drive. My mind went back almost 10 years and for a second, it shot to a time, where I was dating Boyband Jonny, it was late afternoon, we were having a difficult time in our relationships, yet I didn’t know why? He was expressive because he was a creative. Yet, closed off emotionally, because…I’m gonna go with….he was an Aquarian? Lol. (Aquarian’s always find me.)

Anyway, (and this was almost a decade ago) i stepped into a black cab in the middle of Camden, where he was living, which would take me back to Kings Cross, so I could shimmie back onto Northern Soil…and before my cab left, he came running down the street, in his skinny jeans, up to the window and passed me a note. I smiled, waved and the car drove away.

During my journey, I opened the folded hand written note and it read…

‘Dear Chrissie,

I know I never show it…and i’m sorry for that. But I want you to know that whenever i’m with you, my heart lights up.’

(It’s strange that he could never tell me, and had to write it. But I appreciated that anyway, because any expression is good expression, right?)

Then my *flashback* stopped… I was still en route to Ruby’s school drop off. (Boyband Jonny is actually gay now and exceedingly happy and settled. He may not have become the Boyband Superstar that he always wanted…But he openly found his happy place, which not only is MORE important…Yet also makes me beam.)ย 

But anyway, I was driving away, ‘Happy as Larry,’ chatting to Ruby in the car…I get to the big Ackworth roundabout and my mind begins to race again and this time it takes me to this time last year….

‘The Swirl.’ย 

It took me to a moment where we were both laid in a bed…his bed, everything was peaceful and it was probably around 11pmish. We’d just watched ‘Britains Got Talent’ and then a round of ‘Celeb Juice,’ before showers in separate bathrooms and night time. I remember him looking at me, saying ‘Things with you are just easy… and after I agreed, we fell asleep that night holding hands.

Then my mind *WHIZZED* me back, almost like it didn’t want me to settle upon that thought. It took me to earlier that day, where ‘The Swirl’ and I were sat on a pale lemon sofa…(which he kept assuring me he didn’t pick..)

‘It was already here when I moved in…’

It made me notice how particular & creative he actually was. (He’s an Aquarian also! They find me.) I noticed a lot of things about him that afternoon…and I loved that, because I adore nothing more than learning about people….simply by observing them… merrily. I’m like a sponge. I’ll take in EVERYTHING.

But anyway, my mind took me to us being sat on this sofa together. We were chilling and watching tv. I made fun of something. He made fun of it also and almost innocently we both burst into this silly banter of laughter. I remember looking at him when he laughed, which made me smile.ย  I also remember him looking at me when I was laughing, yet when I turned to face him, (as I could feel his eyes on me,) he turned his head away quickly.

Then my *Flashbacks* stopped.

Just like that i was at Ruby’s school…and my normal day had begun.

What is going on with my mind, right now? Both happy moments. Both loving memories.

Yet, I have noticed in love, that I am always in the same place.

I achieve everything work wise. I’m a great mum…I’ve developed with Ruby & Junior threefold. I adore being Mum.It’s not always easy, but I can do it on m own and it has been my greatest gift…my life saver. I dance to New Chapters always because i’m not scared of them. I’m not scared of anything. I’m irrepressible. (My Geography teacher used to always say that about me at school. Lol.)

I’m a life warrior and probably one of the most emotionally together chicks I know! It’s almost like nothing can sort of break me down, because i’ve grown so much, after failing at shit, winning at shit, being broken, yet getting back up each time, with a SMILE ON MY FACE. I feel unbreakable. It’s powerful. It radiates from me…and in a way, i wish every woman felt like that. ( My close chick friends are actually all like that…Well, most of them anyway. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

During my time in Hollywood, I went through SO much. I had the best time definitely, but. I was in my 20’s growing up in LA. There were both good and bad moments, that I never have EVER told anyone anything about…because i’ve never wanted to. But i’ve experienced life and walked lots of different paths. At 20 it was hard. At 37, it’s now such a blessing.

That’s why I always say it is MUCH MUCH BETTER for someone to come into success, fortune, or fame as a 30 something or older, than it is as a young one….As like with love, you can handle it with a better perspective without getting carried away with the bullshit. (I never get carried away with the bullshit…even if it looks like I am, or have. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

However, when it comes to my love life…Like I said earlier…I am always in the same place…

..and it’s been that way since I was 19.

I don’t get it?

I KNOW what I want and I don’t always get it. (And i’ll never just settle.) I know what I do NOT want and that is anything that is emotionally challenging…Things should come easily….At 37, I don’t want to be dealing with issues….I just want to gallop around to the sound of happiness and true love.

I believe in boys chasing girls…The ‘old school’ tactics. It shows that they’re confident and it’s not dipped in arrogance. It shows that they’re not scared of love. It’s easy and uncomplicated.

I believe in honest expression..without that you don’t have anything. You might as well be a cardboard cut out. (I once watched one of my guy friends, make potential girlfriends *jump through hoops* to win his affection. He expected them to guess how he was feeling? I never understood why? It taught me a lot about him. He had his own issues. I accepted him for who he was, as he was one of my guy besties and I didn’t ever have to date him. Lol. Yet I always hoped those chicks quit ‘jumping.‘ He wasn’t THAT MUCH of a prize. ๐Ÿ™‚

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I believe in love. I always believe in love. And I hope you do tooo!

So let’s hope that a decade from now….when i’m flipping 47. I won’t be telling you that i’m still in the same place…

But if I am…I’m sure i’ll still be happy…. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Chrissie x

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When Wine Can’t Mend Things…

I shocked myself up at 2.43am. Then I must’ve tried to sleep again only to SHOCK myself up at exactly 3am.

I had a lot on my mind yesterday evening and it just kept swirling through my head madly. I keep finding myself awake, glaring at my ceiling, picking up my phone and just…well…I had a lot on my mind. YET, once I decided not to fight all the brain box tinkering, I relaxed and when I relaxed my mind did to and I slept…like a baby kitten.

(I might have also creaked out of bed glamoruously, topless and in these weird grey pants and swigged 2 wine mouthfuls out of a bottle to help me sleep. It ย didn’t work. Wine doesn’t mend things..It just fuzzes your mind, yet doesn’t ‘duvet day’ the heart so to speak?)

But like my LA bestie Theo always says…when you’re a passionate person it’s a wonderful thing and also the hardest thing to control. Yet sometimes just sleeping on something, calms your passion down, it stops you from overreacting, wakes you up fresher than you ever imagined. This morning I woke up feeling GREAT. I’m a really lucky girl. Sleeping on it…works. (I also don’t look too shabby this morning. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Talking about what we wear to sleep. I usually wear nothing, or pants. I’ll walk around the house in a bra and comfy bottoms or a cute nighty, or booty shorts, tank top and knee high socks. They’re my favourite type of comfy. Nobody in Wunna Land has qualms about nudity, yet at the same time, we’re not odd. Like I wouldn’t answer the door in just my pants. Lol.

Yesterday the girls and I were discussing what we wear to bed. Double B does a silk kimono, which is just like a silk slip that grazes her body..which I stated SURELY HAS KEBAB STAINS ON IT. Hustle Barbie is a glamourous little thing also, yet she will get down and comfy and chill it in a giant dalmatian dressing gown.

‘Alex hates me in it, he says it’s such a turn off! Hahahahah! I’m like… GOOD! THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT!’

So we were going on about nighties and a nighty to me is one that you’d buy from Victoria Secret. A cute little number that may come with a bunny tail on. Lol. And ‘Fairytale Blond’ decides to tell us all that she loves a nighty! She was going on about it for a good 4 minutes and i’m sure we must have all pulled a face, because she had to *pause* look at us all and then say,

‘Nooooooooooo. Not like one of those Granny nighties, with the long sleeves and buttons all the way up to the neck.’

‘Oh good. I imagined you with a frilly night cap and candle holder.’

‘Yeah….like that candle woman…what’s that candle women who saved a bunch of people called?’

We all just laughed and got on with life in our square glass fish bowl.

Then London Business Man (a good friend of mine, who I haven’t actually spoken to in months because we fell out) sends me a message which simply read,

‘I’m away in Puerto Banus, the mag was on the bed, next to me at the pool so I read it….and saw you in it.’

And there I was…in Heat. (Looking terrible. But hey, fuck it! ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

The career is going well right now and yeah, it’s pretty much a dream come true. There is lot currently going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land that I can’t really mention just yet, but do know that everything is wonderful and everything is almost a bloody miracle. Lol.

No matter where you are in the world. I hope you have a really great day!

Chrissie