Friends, Wine, Gingers & *C* Bombs

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Morning! Gosh! It’s such a busy time. I’m running around like a topless ๐Ÿ˜‰ chicken, trying to get everything dished, dashed and sorted. It’s absolute mayhem. But, what can I say, I’m loving it. (I never take for granted how lucky I am.)

There’s a lot going on right now and yeah, it can feel stressy and yeah, yesterday I felt like I didn’t have the positive support that I needed…But today’s a new day…I’m breathing, I’m smiling and i’m sat blogging this in a giant faux fur, knee high boots, diamante danglers and with heated rollers in my hair!

THAT MY BITCHES…IS GLAMOUR PUSSING. We’ll call it *EXTRA.* ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyway, that last Sunday, I ended up meeting ‘Poggy’ at The Carleton for a couple drinks…without my bank card. (I have it now. Life is bliss.) The guy she wanted to maybe go on a date with was busy, yet instead, a different guy had waited all night until his guy friends had each left, then approached her with a…

‘I was waiting for them to leave, so I could get to chat to you….’

They ended up on a ‘date.’ So, even though it’s ‘early days,’ I guess everything happens for a reason. You get what you’re meant to get…and life sort of times things correctly for you. You’ll be surprised at how many things do actually fall into place. It’s magical and like I always say, it’s a ‘magic’ we can’t control.

I never use timing as an excuse. You meet people because you’re meant to meet them..even if right away that second, you have no clue why? It’s always for a reason, a season or a lifetime. You’re paths will keep crossing, until all life elements are correctly in place, and you’ve figured out your connection.

Barmaid to Poggy: ‘He’s the kinda man who will kiss you when you need to be kissed and slap you when you need to be slapped.’

That Sunday night ended up being wilder than I thought? So much fun. Good friends, new memories and all around a table…as day turned to night.

There was laughter, wine and sarcasm as it’s finest…and as always, we definitely got carried away. You can’t get us started with banter, in the name of wit and ‘Being Yorkshire’ we go for it.

I went to school with ‘Poggy’ and she’s been a good friend of mine for years. We were actually laughing over the fact that our ‘careers teacher,’ stated that she would become a marine and that I would become a florist, after we answered a couple of personality questions. Lol.

Poggy: ‘How the F*** did they come up with that!!’

Me: ‘I must have just said I like flowers and pretty things and you must have said that you…’

Pet Laura: ‘Like to kill things…Lol. It’s like The Hunter & The Vajazzle.’

(‘Pet Laura’ is a Dog Groomer. She found herself at our table, wishing she was in Africa, bottle feeding tigers, or something? Then she had gin.)ย 

One gin down and she was naming our vagina’s after ‘Harry Potter’ spells. I distinctly remember looking up and for some reason ‘Poggy’ and ‘Pet Laura’ were doing these weird hand actions and refering to their ‘lady parts’ as..

HUNTER.

(Mine’s not a ‘Hunter,’ mines just tired. Hi, True love! Where are you? Please find me.)

Poggy: ‘I think that because you have such a busy life and a busy life online, you would always need a man who is chilled. Someone who gets on with it and takes that stress away…’

Me: ‘Yeah, I don’t like a stressy man. I don’t like them to come with a bundle of emotional issues… I don’t like things to be complicated. I don’t have time to unfold, mend or cry into wine anymore.’

Y’know, everyone always thinks i’m picky when it comes to love and I’m not picky as in ‘fussy,’ i’m just happy and when you’re happy….you sometimes wonder whether you need to invite another human in? But then I think, I’m gonna need someone to carry heavy bags and do the bins, aren’t I? ๐Ÿ˜‰

So, yeah, I should probably team up with a fella and do ‘lifetime’ sometime shortly.

I just don’t want to invest in a ‘fling’ at 37. I can’t be arsed. I’m not excited by them. I’m too old for that I’ve ‘flung’ all the way through my 20’s, hoping that it would always be forever. Each time I got it wrong. Even after ‘I doing it’ three whole times!

What I’ve learnt, is that I don’t need to worry about it. YOU don’t need to worry about it either. Girls always worry about it. I never do.ย  I have absolute faith, that no matter what, the man who truly loves me, because he can’t help it, (banter, winks, diva strops and all)….will come get me. (I shouldn’t have used the word ‘get’ it makes it sound like he’s gonna kidnap me and throw me in the back of a van.)

But you get what I mean….innit! ๐Ÿ™‚

All I have to do, is ‘sit pretty,’ get on with life…and wait. Cupid an I are mates now. He doesn’t mess with me. I don’t mess with him. It’s simples. Plus, Girls shouldn’t chase boys. We shouldn’t have to. I enjoy the traditional art of the ‘dude coming forward.’

Annnnnyway… (I totally got distracted…)

That Sunday…day turned to night and the bright blue skies, were slowly blanketed with a navy sheet, that almost swirled in a grey mist, littered with stars. (I don’t actually know if there were stars out?? Lol. I’ve made that bit up.)

‘Pet Laura’ had left and just as she did, the outside door swung open and out popped ‘Parsons.’ (She’s a friend of a friend, who is ace, because whenever she’s drunk, she gets really gobby and starts doing hand stands and rollie pollies everywhere.)

The tempo changed to that good old, loud, cracking, fast Northern, naughty, foul mouthed, BANTER.

IT WAS GREAT! (I cannot even repeat what was said.)

‘Parsons’ enjoys to use the *C* bomb, which I always find hilarious. She’s such a free spirit. Such a wild, loud, laugh! In fact, she loves the *C* bomb so much, that she even delivers it in melody.

Everything at this point turned into a blurry, fun, wine drenched haze. And a red ‘outside heater’ glow, surrounded us. It nurtured us. It kept us safe. It obided to he rules of The Wine Gods.

Now, ‘Poggy’ and ‘Parsons’ got on really well…They have swimming in common. They want to swim everywhere together. They want to travel the world and swim through valleys.

It was like one of those moments when you first meet someone in a bar, but you’re both pissed, think you’re best friends and plan holidays together! ๐Ÿ™‚

Me: ‘You’re definitely not going to swim together.’

Parsons: ‘Everyone thinks i’m fat. But i’m actually a really good swimmer.’

(Then she did ‘swimming arm’ demonstrations at me.)

Me: ‘I only do breast stroke with my face above the water, so it doesn’t ruin my face.’

Anyway, they had some unique ‘hoe’mance’ going on. They loved each other and mocked ‘Parsons’ ginger husband, who was definitely stood, pressing the ‘heater on’ button every 10 seconds.

Poggy: ‘He’s like The King of The Gingers.’

Me: ‘But he’s not even ginger? You can’t be The Ginger King…when you’ve got brown hair? Surely that’s not a title you can take?’

Parsons: ‘He IS ginger. I’ve got a ginger kid and i’m a brunette. I love you *Poggy,* you’re like a blond version of me… in a polo neck.’

(Now, i’ve just looked at my blog notes from that evening and I’ve typed ‘Fast pass to brown hair,’ after that piece of ‘polo neck’ statement. However, I have no clue, what that means now? Lol. All I remember was looking up and seeing the girls bickering over who had said the ‘funniest’ thing..)

‘Why have you put that down. I said something WAAAY MORE FUNNIER THAN HER and that SHOULD MAKE THE BLOG.’

All got really drunk. All had a lot of fun. I got stopped a couple times, that evening by the occasional Geordie and people who love my ‘Blog/Influencey’ stuffs.

I absolutely bantered with you all. But I was far too drunk to dish out advice, which is what everyone was asking me for. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve received your DM’s though…So, i’ll try and swizzle in some time to meet and inspire. (I appreciate the love.)

Message me again, in case I forgot. There’s not such thing and reminding me TOO MUCH. I love ‘people reminders’ as I often get lost in work load and jiggery pokery.

Right, I’m off. I’ve got the babies and a lot to try and organize. Things have been so jam packed, that it’s been hectic. I fly to Spain in 7 days. Thursday morning.

I’m kinda really looking forward to getting away for a few days by myself, just to relax and finally get that ‘chill’ time in,ย  that I never seem to prioritize.

It’s been a busy first part of the year…and sometimes I feel like i’m running as fast as I can, but on the spot. Lol.

What I need right now, is to relax…a wine….and a result.

(Things are never that easy though, are they?)

Kisses,

Chrissie,

 

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Fridays, Sex & Watermelon Ice Creams…

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Morning! Happy Happy Friday! How ya doing? I posted this picture on my ‘socials’ this morning and it’s caused my inbox to go *bonkers.*ย I’m not sure why everyone’s so excited? However thank you for the *hearts/likes* and everything inbetween, that i’ve received so far. I appreciate it, as it really does help when you’re trying to build some kind of blogging look at me empire..and I’ll always tell you that i’m grateful, because I’m not daft enough to think that I could do it without your attention.

I actually also got called ‘SO Incredibly DUMB’ by a Lady in Scotland, because I captioned the pic with a..

‘Does this count as my Five a Day?’

Lol. (I found it wedged between the love)

In my defense….I am aware that I’m holding an ICE CREAM and not a piece of fruit. Just in case you didn’t know that?ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

*ROLLS EYES.*

AND just because I served my selfie up with boobies, doesn’t mean my brain doesn’t actually work. In fact, quite the contrary… It worked an absolute TREAT for six o clock in the morning and completely sober.

Yipppppppppeeee!

However, I understand that it *rubbed* you up the wrong way… I get it, I mean, what could be more annoying than seeing me in a bikini top and a watermelon ice cream lolly, pining for ‘likes’ as soon as you wake up.

BUT JEEZE. LIGHTEN UP! IT’S FLIPPING FRIDAY! Stop being a Snooze Festival! It’s my JOB!

(A polite way of saying ‘Get lost.’ :))ย 

You wore the floral blouse work. I wore the watermelon ice cream…It’s cool. Lol. We can all play nicely together, sing nursery rhymes and hold hands around Cyberland.

Glad we swept that under the glitzy bar table.

I’ve got a ton of phone calls to make today. A ton. Everything’s really busy and tomorrow it’s my gorgeous little girl’s BIRTHDAY, so alongside work, I’m planning her day of delight…as she turns SEVEN!!! I couldn’t be more excited. Family means everything to me. We’ll be headed to Sundown Adventure Land in the morning…and HOPEFULLY IT WON’T BE FLIPPING FREEZING, because the kids are gonna force me to ‘water ride’ this, ‘kiddie rollercoaster’ that….and every inch of me will be a ‘shiver.’

(The thought of it alone, has given me a runny nose.)

But yes, lots of work. Loving it. Very lucky. (I’m also trying to get back into shape, as I have shoot galore. Probably should’ve listened to the Scottish chick and not had an ice cream for breakfast.)ย 

I had ace banter with my chick friend last night, in regards to sex and how I guess all women do actually need it. As you sail into your 30’s you kinda enjoy a bit of ‘ooh laa,’ a great deal more than you ever did in your 20’s. I don’t know what happens?

I’m naturally sensual anyway and I never apologize for that. And I couldn’t be with anyone that I didn’t have great ‘bedroom’ chemistry with….as I couldn’t live with a lifetime of really shit sex. It’s an important part to a relationship and or even a marriage. The rest of the ‘happily ever after’ just seems to happen naturally. (In most cases. Lol)

Then this morning another chick friend of mine…

(Sorry, I’m just looking out my window because I have an 11am meeting to get to with ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Magazine and someones BLOCKED MY CAR IN….)

Anyway, one of my chicks friends is off on a Tinder Date. (I hate Tinder. But I do love that ages ago, a bunch of my guys friends had ‘liked’ so many chicks on it, that a message popped up on their phones stating that there were literally NO MORE CHICKS left for them to like.. in their area. They had ‘OUT LIKED’ Tinder itself.One of them was Nick…Who is back on Take Me Out tomorrow night…because he was one of the best boys to ever be on the show. Don’t forget to watch him.)ย 

But yes, one of my chick friends, who shall remain nameless, is off on a Tinder Date shortly and before this date she had to check in with me this morning to decipher if he was someone I actually knew, or just a ‘Wunna Superfan?’ ( I think he was on one of my friends lists? I don’t know. I have no clue who he is? Lol. If you have my Snapchat, or Insta you’ll know what she said… I can’t repeat it.. But it ended with…

Chick: ‘If he asked me to dress up as you, i’m leaving.’

She’s hilarious! I love her. She also quenched my ego and you’ve got to love that, as I’m certainly a big headed swine. I like to play like i’m humble at times, Lol…But I do now think, i’m quite an ego maniac. It’s disgraceful.

I love how weird dates can make you feel right? I always get nervous…I hope they fall madly in love….

Right, this is short but sweet, as I’ve got a lot of work to get through and a meeting to be at in 30 minutes.

 

Love you lots.

Thank you for following my life.

Chrissie x

See you on on ‘Socials.’ ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I did The Clothes Show

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So i’ve been at The Clothes Show! The last ever Clothes Show to be held in Birmingham, as it will move to Liverpool for the coming years. (Yay! Northern!) I am a regular haunt at the event…and blogged it for a jazzy while. I’ve presented it. Smoozed. I’ve shopped! I’ve celebrated the event with love, as i genuinely find it divine.

This year has been the best year that I have ever has the pleasure of being invited to. Oh my GOD, I could LIVE at The Clothes Show this year. You should go, as it is ever girly girls DREAM LAND. There is no where on earth where you can literally shop until your little kitten heart is satisfied, smooze with your fave reality tv celebs and when you need a ‘pick me up’ saunter into some kind of ‘Lounge’ for a lift up! Jesus! There were the MOST GLAMOROUS Pop Up lounged everywhere. The ‘Diva Lounge,’ the ‘Pamper Lounge,’ the ‘Lambrini Bubbles Bar,’ the this lounge, that lounge, get your hair did and teeth whitened whilst you ‘chill for ten’ spots. It was AMAZING and pretty much catered to everything that I’d build shrines for. I snapchatted my Clothes Show Story for all of you to see and let me tell you IT IS MARVELLOUS. I mean GOD, i’ve done Lambrini proud. Lol. I don’t think anyone has made as much impact in a ‘Bubbles Bar’ in their life. If i can do anything, i can kick back, meet new people, selfie pout with folk and drink in glamourous ‘pop ups.’ It’s the new thing innit, ‘Pop Up’ Wine bars and they are my favourite. i guess with Lambrini, i sort of just represent eerything that they market, so i was a great ‘Bubbles Bar’ choice. Lol. I’ve sipped and sampled every single new Lambrini Flavour and I can you Strawberry is my fave.

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I even had my fortune told by accident via a crystal ball and I tried not to take it seriously, as you don’t do you. But holy shit, when i got beckoned behind a curtain and asked to hold this ball, (I’m good at that. ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) THE THINGS THAT GYSPY ย Margaret Rose Lee were telling me were things that NOT A SINGLE BEING in this entire world, but myself and my family would know! It was crazy. I was kitty shocked being this little red curtain…as she looked through my past, present and future. BANG ON, she was! And i guess as always my future is charmed…I can’t wait to get to the ‘charmed’ bit of my future (haha)…as even though i’m a positive soul, who has it pretty good, I’m heavily ambitious when it comes to work, love and family….and well this waiting around and working dead hard at it stuff can sometimes be a draaaaaaaaaaaag. When i have success, love and everything with bells on, then i’ll be able to do things like have a quiet drink in a bar, by myself and not stress and lay in bed at night, without a busy mind. I can’t wait for that bliss.

Okay away from that! Let’s go behind the scenes, as in life i have the best of both worlds at such events, where i’ll get booked to, what i call ‘be a face’ and entertain, yet at the same time GET TO BE PRESS, with my pass for chrissiewunna.com and venture through the back stages, the press calls and get all the behind the scenes gossip. I know, it’s awesome. So, for those of you who love a bit of Pop Culture, a bit of ‘Celeb,’ a bit of reality tv, i’ll tell you that i got to share time with Joey Essex, Alex Mytton and Jamie Laing! Reality at it’s finest. I watched them, studied them and listened to everything going on around them. I always kinda look smiley, boobied and giddy…but i scan and watch EVERYTHING!! The little things a opposed to the big things.

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This is what I can tell you…

I’m not about to hear anyone call these boys ‘famous for nothing,’ as people tend to say that about Reality show personalities, don’t they. I’ve experienced reality show life and not even nearly close to the popularity that these boys are going through and that alone was HARD.

These boys must work almost every hour under the sun and then some to build and maintain a profile and do what people with ambition do, make money! I mean Jamie Laing had just got back from travelling for fifty hours, back from Australia after his ‘I’m a Celeb’ Extra Camp gig, to come and present a fashion show in Birmingham. Plus he had his brand ‘Candy Kittens’ at The Clothes Show, so he was making sure that was running smoothly also. I watched him present a fashion show and he’s just a natural entertainer, he sort of looked like a veteran in comparison Alex, who also shimmied on Made in Chelsea with him. Jamie’s warm hearted, talented, a great entertainer and ‘human’ not fakey. There’s nothing stuck up about him and he’s just a joy, you can see it in his soul. There’s an energy.

Alex…extremely good looking, not a telly newbie, but seemed a bit more quiet that Jamie. However, non the less, sweet, got on with it and was fun, fun, fun with it all. I did notice that whilst he was in the ‘pap pen’ and saw a camera man and I stood taking piccies, that he clocked the camera man straight away and like the sexy boy that he is, rolled up his sleeves a little on the sly to make sure we got a good view of his ‘gun show’ on pictures. Lol. Now, i’m not one to complain. I say ‘Good boy!’ But it’s interesting isn’t it, as to how people feel the best way to market themselves is. I love how his mind ticks. Interesting guy! I was on the same train as him on the way back. He had his girlfriend with him, who was all skinny, blond and..well…not every smiley. Haha. I don’t know how these guy’s hold proper loving, long term relationships. It must be difficult.

And Joey….The whirlwind that was Joey Essex! It almost felt as though every teenager in the entire world had decided to stand in one spot in Birmingham, at The Clothes Show ย and as he quickly paced out, guarded by security, cameras and all sorts…they ALL decided to get their New Look knickers in a twist and go ABSOLUTELY MENTAL, like Michael Jackson had trumped gold on Justin Bieber or something!! And to the loudest screams ever, they elbowed and tripped each other out the way, clambered on shoulders and rushed, dashed and fell with camera phones…They lost their entire teenage MINDS! (I got elbowed and kicked a bit, as I was stood right next to him, but i had a Press Pass and Celebs love People with Press Passes, so i was sorted. Lol)

Now, this is what you didn’t know (or did gather) about Joey…who makes his ‘dollar’ by maybe selling himself as maybe not the ‘brightest berry’ in the bunch. And God does it work. He’s rinsing it. Well done!

But let me tell you, if you were to watch him talk to his manager during a ‘madness moment’ like that or behind the scenes, he is LITERALLY one of the most savvy, intelligent and ‘in the know’ guys on reality tv. He’s direct. He knows what he’s doing. He knows what he represents and he is all ambition and work. He knows it’s work and he smashes it! I heard him talking to Dave his manager with this power house voice of ‘this is what i want you to do.’ He had guardian and cameras filming the madness, on his instruction…(clever, clever) and he got through his Pap Pen session, with less heart than Jamie, but with the biggest career mind out of the BUNCH!

They work really hard and they have to, as the world of ‘Reality Celeb’ isn’t easy anymore is it. As it’s become more and more about being really savvy at the old marketing and winning popularity ‘doo dah’ than anything and now EVERYONE has become really really good at it. I’ve always thought there is room for everyone and as long as you have talent, a creative flair and or a business mind….I mean, as long as you’re good at your craft, no matter what it may be…and you work the hardest you have ever worked at your passion or goal…you’ll get there!

The great thing about these boys is that they made so many people happy that day…and when you do that…it kinda makes it all worth it.