Love, Loyalty & Bunny Tail Thongs

I don’t know how i ended up with my bunny tail thong in my handbag? But i did! (Do note, it is MY bunny tail thong, that I gained from Ann Summers, when they sent me boxes of free things and not the random bunny tail thong of another, that just so creepily happened to be in my handbag. ) However, ofcourse when you have a bunny tail thong in your handbag, you kinda don’t ever want it to just pop out whenever it pleases…as surely it’s just for happy private sexy moments…when you want to be a ‘bunny’ in the bedroom??? Don’t ask. (I’ve only worn it once for picture taking purposes, maybe in the Spring? That picture was sent to a ‘heart throb’…I scored major points. Lol) Anyway…I pulled out my pink ‘Ted Baker’ purse, which was again gifted to me (i’m a bit over it now and need a new one) to pay for..what was it now? Oh GOD! A Blue ‘Push Pop’ for my Baby Ruby and somehow during the glide from my handbag to the open air, it managed to swirl it’s way around my wrist, get entangled within straps and nails and beautifully flick itself onto the counter. Hahaha.

WHY AM I SO EMBARRASING!!!

And to make it worse…the guy at the counter, blushed, fidgeted awkwardly and uncomfortably pretended it wasn’t there. Lol. To me, that’s the worst thing you can do, as i hate awkward moments where things are swept under the rug like they’re not even happening. So, being the unnecessary tool that I am, an ever expressive soul and to firstly break the awkwardness and to try and make him at least feel a little bit better…I just kinda blurted out..

‘Sorry…they’re my pants!’

(AS AND ORDERLY LINE WAITIED BEHIND ME. I don’t know why i thought that would make him feel better. I just thought went with honesty is the best policy? )

He *paused* took my money, still pretended it wasn’t happening, which kinda made me feel rejected. Haha. Then FINALLY, he cracked a tiny Yorkshire smile…and BOOM, life and normality was restored. How did it even get in my bag? Bunny tail thongs must have a life of their own? They’re magic. AND I have noticed that I must never learn lessons, because it’s still in my handbag right now…chilling…waiting for its next appearance, because I keep forgetting to take it out! Learn things the hard way much!

I have a last minute shoot today, that I wasn’t going to go on just yet, but ended up going on in the end simply to bundle all my work into one big ‘yeehaa.’ It’s throwing it down with rain and even though i hate the rain when travelling about…(I love it warm) I’m excited because it will soon be flippin’ Christmas, which is my FAVOURITE TIME OF YEAR! I love the smell of it, the warmth of it, the merriment, the tinsel and the fact that I have a birthday a week before Santa comes. I was meant to be born on Christmas Day, but my mum made them pull me out early because she hated the idea of a Christmas Day labour. Some of you pulled crackers, my mother had a human pulled out of her….EARLY.

I love my Parents. They’re Great! My dad taught me to dream (he’s really creative) and my mum taught me how to turn a dream into a reality. (She’s really practical.) There was a time in my 20’s when I had kinda brought a lot of attention to myself, it was all TV, modelling and all kinds of good and bad press…and during it…they stood by me whole heartedly, strong has bulls…having private talks with me, in support and at the same time as refusing to comment on anything when harassed by others who we didn’t want interfering with my life. The only things she ever said openly to someone who had said something quite derogatory about me, was this…

‘When YOU’RE seeing her as a product, I’m letting you know she’s my daughter. She’s human. I’ll love and protect her until the day she dies. I raised her to be able to handle anything…she can and she does….’

I always remember that.

The best and worst thing about that statement is that I see every inch of Me in Ruby and automatically I have gone into protection mode, to the point where it’s a bit silly. I mean, obviously now ‘The Wunna Babies’ receive offers of all sorts and I go out of my way to turn them all down, just so they start life in a normal loving fashion. They can do charity work, or childrens brands, but away from that…it’s a ‘No.’ Ruby asks me every morning if she can model, start a Vlog, sign up to some show…(I didn’t let her do ‘Secret Lives of Five year olds Lol) and I don’t know if i’m doing the right thing or wrong thing, yet as a parent…I don’t think being six is a good time to venture into entertainment, which is a very adult world. I mean even some adults don’t understand how the world of entertainment works…let alone children..and whilst i’m still working, I wouldn’t be able to be around 24/7 to make sure she’s okay and I would need to be. She hates me for it at times, but trusts me. Lol. It’s my loyalty to her.

I’ve got the heart of a lion and when it comes to love and loyalty, be it within family or romantically…I am great at standing right by, anyone I care about’s side, when they need me the most. I look for that in partners. I find it attractive. Loyalty is HUGE with me. It’s a big old thing. If you can’t be loyal to someone you care about, then you’re weak…and during my time in LA, I knew that I had  to partner up with the strongest man alive.

Ahhh! I’ve just got an instagram message from one of my best chick friends ‘Greedy.’ I miss her madly. She’s trying to be a nurse, whilst watching me be a Glamour Puss. It’s good times. I have the funniest memories with ‘Greedy.’ I really shouldn’t call her that. Haha. Her name is actually ‘Danielle.’ I’m glad her love life isn’t rubbish now. We’d spend hours muddling through it whilst she pondered dessert. She was dating this idiot who she loved madly, but he cheated on her with his ex. She forgave him out of love…and they got back together. Then he cheated on her again…with his ex. Lol. What I love about her is the fact that she felt it all really quickly and cried it out madly, but never ever let it tarnish her faith in love or herself. She’s happy now…with a great guy. BOOM! We have a really honest relationship..another thing that I love in friendships.

Ooh, it’s stopped raining…

See ya! I’m off.

 

 

Quick Stop Banter

Me: ‘So I haven’t seen you all in ages, what’s the gossip?’

The Girls: ‘Ermmm….No, no gossip, it’s been boring. We’ve missed you.’

‘So, nothing AT ALL has happened? Nothing exciting?’

‘No.’

I mean JEEPERS, we might has well all start painting ourselves grey and bumping into ourselves like Lemmings after a late afternoon carb overload.

Luckily, I can find excitement and juice in ANYTHING. Annnnnythiiing!!! I can find the good or the silver lining in MOST SITUATIONS…and slowly but surely, it all came tinkering out…

So yeah, nothing exciting happened to my girl besties (do know that I have actually had the most exciting time, whilst i’ve been gone,) HOWEVER…they forgot to tell me that Lady Shizzle had been proposed to and someone was now a lesbian. Surely that’s exciting news? I mean, that’s not everyday shit. Lol. Well the ‘proposed to’ bits are. In the last 2 weeks, three of my friends have been proposed to or have proposed to their piece of ‘heart.’

Me: ‘Proposals are so much nicer than wedding days, (I say from experience ;), because there’s a flutter to them, it’s always a surprise, whereas weddings have been planned for months and months and months…it’s a ball ache.’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Well if you and Lady Shizzle can have three weddings, Fairytale and I can at least have one.’

Me: Don’t be making fun of our three weddings! Lol’

Fairytale Blond: *Just puts her bare ring finger in the air and ways it like it’s sad, with her bottom lip out.*

Then things kicked in a little and we stopped being boring, as we discussed Bavarian outfits that need to be made sluttier and the executive psychological topic of ‘why men or people in general are arrogant or cocky.’

We came up with the theory that the more insecure you are, the cockier you are…as arrogance is used as a mask to protect your tender soul or the way you feel about yourself. It’s not a bad thing. As when I was at my cockiest, this was when I was young…WAY BEFORE LA….I was at my most insecure, so it’s true. It’s human nature. Now that i’m older, I’ve glowed with this confidence…this happiness…LA actually brought that out in me. I experienced a lot. Yet I can always relate to people and understand why they do things. I find the art of ‘understanding humans‘ sexy.

A  lot of you are tuning into the blog right now, as I set myself up for a big next year.This is my ‘working’ year. I always say, a lot is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land. This time around i’m confident and it feels real. Am I cocky…yeah a bit…yet again thats the tiny line of inner insecurity I have, when it comes to success which powers me forward. On the whole, i’m pretty good at being warm, positive and just flipping normal under really surreal circumstances.

Anyway, i got distracted…but yes, a lot of people around the world are checking into Wunna land, and I said that I would give ‘Weston’ in Blantyre, Malawi a happy shoutout and then tell the dude from Belgrade in Serbia, to quit sending me daily messages that simply read ‘HORNY.’

It’s bizarre? I mean, what does he think i’m honestly going to do or say? Lol. It takes a lot more than that to try and pull my Sassy ass…I don’t want to give your ‘diddly doo’ a ‘diddly dum,’ after a command. I’m a glamour puss. I’m not your glamour puss and you should start conversations with women in the future that begin with a simple ‘Hi…’ (before telling her how amazing she is.) Unlike David, who told ‘Fairytale’ that she had really shit hair.

I’m a girl with a sexy disposition, who always wants to find true affection in a man. Told ya…my love life is not rubbish right now. I’m beaming…

Anyway, I’ve got to go…Sorry it was just a quickie

Love you lots.

Thank you for following my life and being part of it.

I’m looking forward to my ‘tomorrow.’

 

 

 

Love, Lattes & Chicks Who Tongue Dogs…

Woke up this morning with the blistering sunlight shining through my window, with all a calm breeze and peace as my bestie…I stretched…I kitty yawned and just like that BOOM! Bustle, door knocks, headsets, clipboards, fidgets, schedules and that darling bit of happy ‘rush rush.’ (Which i hate. I hate RUSHING. When you rush, you mess things up. I’m a glamour puss. I like to do things in an orderly glamourous fashion.)  It only lasted a good jolly moment…then once again everything went back to calm, back to normal and I could continue sipping my green tea latte. (Which is my favourite latte in all the land. I used to get one every morning in LA, on 3rd and La Cienega, unless I was on a diet, then i’d flirt with an Americano with skimmed instead.)

Sorry….i’ve just got distracted after watching a snapchat of a guy (i know his sister closely) line out 20 chicken nuggets on his mates drive for hangover kicks and type out a mini news report afterward. Lol I’m enthralled. I love it! Hahah. But anyway…

You all zoned in on the fact that I stated that my love life wasn’t rubbish yesterday, didn’t ya! I scrolled through messages galore from people all over the world either cheering me on, or tinkering for me details? When it comes to love, I’ve never got it right, have I? Yet, that’s because i’ve Mambo’ed into everything head first, twirling madly, in red dresses and sequins, with ‘cha cha’ arms (don’t actually know what arms they are) and with everything crossed. And don’t get me wrong, it’s always great to feel ‘crazy’ about someone (that’s what passion is and if you don’t have it, your soul needs a tequila to wake you up and smell the limes,) yet the ‘crazy’ is what you feel initially….We all love the ‘swirl,’ the initial attraction…the ‘ooh laa’ as I like to call it….Yet, the real love comes after….when time has passed, you’ve learnt about one another and you’ve only just realised how much time you’ve invested in a person because it’s breezed by so merrily…

Real love comes (that love that people say has been written about for centuries) when a true friendship has been formed, one of loyalty and trust, that has been built upon slowly, where you share laughter, secrets, respect and support. When you can look at that person and know that no matter what they’ll always be there…because they always have. To me…that’s what real love is. A best friend…that you do ‘non friend zone‘ like things with. 😉

Having gotten love wrong for so many glamourous decades…YIPPPEEEE (again doesn’t make me a hideous person, it’s simply just my story, it’s actually empowered me more than I ever thought it would,) I THINK, that no one in this entire world understands love more than I do, right now. I do get nervous. I do get frightened. I do things wonderfully. I do things badly. It’s normal. I’m certainly not all sass, i’m quite an affectionate soul…and yeah like anyone, I don’t fancy feeling love in order to maybe get hurt, right? Especially not at thirty something. That doesn’t make us weak, it kinda just makes us human. It’s not the right way to move forward. So I’m always open hearted regardless…as my confidence out weighs my moments of terror…and just incase i have to encounter a sassy bit of heartbreak again in the future …I KNOW THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. 🙂 Plus, I have loads of great alcoholic chick friends who will buy me cocktails to make me feel better..and then make fun of me for being a tool.

I’m an life soldier…but a happy one. And I am 100 percent confident that one day (even though i’ve had decades of being unlucky in love) i’ll make someone really happy forever. Forever being the key word…as I have made people briefly happy… Lol. I actually said this to my chick friend Lana (she’s strange and tongues dogs)..

Me: ‘What! I’ve got it in me….’

Lana: ‘What, like silicone?’

Me: ‘Yes. Actually. Please stop tonguing that dog near my Gucci Bamboo Top Handle.’

Lana: ‘It’s weird because you’re a sweetheart but everyone who doesn’t know you thinks you’re a dickhead. Hahaha. I know you’ve got it in you…’

Me: ‘Well, I wouldn’t say it, if I didn’t know it was true. It’s not like i’m sat here saying, hey yeah…i’d make a really great roller booting astronaut…cos i’d know i’d be shit at that.’

Lana: ‘There’s no such thing as that, idiot. What if Mr. Whoever has a shit willy..’

Me: ‘He doesn’t have a shit willy. Stop tonguing that fucking dog!! Honestly. It’s sick. No wonder you’re divorced.’

Lana: ‘You can’t talk…You better get used to having to tongue pets now that you’ve got Rocco…’

Me: ‘Eww! Rocco’s bouji. He’s not average like your pet. Lol. He’s an ‘IT’ kitten. He’s swag. He’s part of Wunna land. I have a whole online patch of land. You’re living it right now & you don’t even know. It’s like a glittery Matrix.’

Lana: ‘You’re such a big headed twat.’

Right, I need to head off quickly…and enjoy the rest of my chills. I have the Yorkshire chills to get back to and enjoy…I’m slightly confused at how grown my children have become. It’s weird. How the hell have I managed to raise them?

I’m also missing all my girls! Firmonnell, Fairytale, Hustle Barbie, Double B, Mel and Lady Shiz. I did actually wake up, thousands of miles away from them, look down at my phone and read a stream of whatsapp messages that kinda really upset me. Lots has happened and it was kinda weird because it’s not really something that I would be upset by…Yet reading the stream and realizing how much of a team we were, no matter where we were in the world or what we were doing….or whatever shit life through at us…kinda made me smile! I love being part of a team. We have each other’s back no matter what. I always wonder what we’ll all be doing in the next five years…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Banter, Geordies & Life Skills

I’ve had a snotty nose all day and nothing is more unattractive on adults than a snotty nose right? It’s ran all day and i’ve had to have tissues at the ready to hold onto some form, any form of glamour pussiness. I don’t like runny noses…they’re not very Gucci. 🙂

I’m still working hard and i’m sorry that I haven’t managed to blog as much as usual. Yet when there’s a lifestyle blog, there’s a life…and sometimes you’ve just got to live it. I’m a writer and I love it more than anything. I’m creative. But when I have a snotty nose…shit goes down. I was sassy. It put me in a mood and mainly because it kept rubbing off my foundation…

‘I’ve forgotten my bronzer brush and I keep blowing my nose! I can’t have an exotic face and a white persons nose.’

I did lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ today as we looked over the town from a giant glass window with a salad. During that time, after she had bought herself an emergency dress for the York races, she was so happy that she contemplated throwing herself off a giant building. Lol.

‘This isn’t life. It’s shit. I’m sat here with you, doing lunch. I’m looking out the window and nothing out the window that we can see is beautiful or exciting. LOOK! It’s all shit! I mean God, you’re losing your touch! You don’t even get those creepy videos from that creepy guy with the tiny penis anymore! I feel like I should just throw myself off that tower…Hahaha.

However, because she’s so hot, if she did, some kind of weird Prosecco angels would fly by gracefully and cradle her fall, whilst turning it into some beautiful soft landing, that ended in rose petaled bedding.When you’re hot that happens. It does. Even in an bouji invisible brace.

Right now, I’m all about living life and loving it. I’m sick of people spending time on the things they don’t love. You should all be working jobs that you were made for and adore. I’m also sick of folk refusing to express how they feel about the things or people they do love. There’s nothing wrong with that, so be terrified of it. If I care about someone, regardless as to how they may feel about me, I make sure I tell them that I care about them almost every day. You’re a long time dead and anything can happen. So…it makes me feel good to let the people I appreciate know that I do. You should do that to. It’s good for the soul…like rum.

A thing that’s made me smile today..is my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s travelled to London with her hubby ‘Big D’ today and they’re celebrating their Anniversary. She’s 30 now…or thirty something i can’t remember? They’ve been together since she was 19! I know!!! And to this day, after all that time, they’re still happily married, now with two babies, love, a to die for friendship and they still even have sex regularly! It’s a dream! Big D ‘gushed’ about how wonderful she was today and that made me beam. I love it when guys can openly declare how wonderful their wife is! It’s so sexy!

Y’know, it’s weird as Firmonnell and I have the exact same sense of evil humour. We are absolute BANTER! However, we’ve walked such different lives. And in a way, even though i’ve done the whole everything I ‘Hollywood’ wished for in work and ‘modelled’ my way through life with telly stints, glamour ‘do daa’s’, celebrity this and and excitement…part of me wishes that at the same time, I managed to hold onto to love. I’m thirty six and haven’t managed to stay in love since being 19. I’ve been married three times. (Firmonnell liked my first husband and decided to LAUGH AT ME for the divorce because I was foolish. Hahah! What a cow! Lol.)

LET ME TELL YOU.

Don’t fret, if you’re in my glitzy position. Lol

Love comes to people at different times and i’m not talking the average kind of love. I’m talking that LOVE that people have written about over centuries. That true love that whisks you off your feet. That guy who is your ‘hero.’ That girl who makes you feel like the greatest man alive. It comes to you when it’s meant to. So for Firmonnell she was lucky because when she turned 19, he found her, he loved her and they did ‘happily ever after.’

My life’s been a bit different and mainly because of my choice in career, i’d say. Then my stint in Hollywood. Then my telly bits….It kinda made finding true love, somewhat more difficult. Not just because people saw me differently. Yet because my view or standards on what I wished for in a dream man were also raised. Infact there were times in my 20’s when i didn’t even know what I wanted, or had too many options or just felt lost and instead committed to work. But not now. I know what I want. I may have got what I want.

But yes, how lucky is Firmonnell. I’d like to have an anniversary, where my hubby declares how wonderful I am. And at the same time, years down the line, she adores him just as madly. That’s sexy.

Not much else has happened today other than a surprise visit from one of my new Geordie mates ‘Potter.’ He made a random appearance in Wunna land. Infact, after Lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ I found myself walking out of one door and walking through to the other side where I was immersed in a group of Geordie boys, all banter, all fun, all down to earth, all in suits and all talking football….with chicken. I’m northern, so I love a Geordie. When I was a teen, an American boy or a Geordie boy was my favourite type of crush. We all chatted shit for a good fifteen minutes in the name of banter. What i noticed about the boys is that they’re scrappy, but they’re loyal. They are passionate about the things that they care about. Banter was fun. They got a bit heated.

I’m Yorkshire and we’re chilled…we live our life by the leave it and ‘It’ll be right‘ phrase. We don’t really get too bothered about things, we just have cups of tea or 40 wines, whilst letting the world take a turn or having a ‘sleep on it.’

Saying that, i do know some properly mental Yorkshire folk who need therapy, so I take that back. I’M JUST CHILLED. I swear it’s the rest of you lot that are loopy! 😉 I’m perfect.

Right, i’m going now. I an hear singing in the house and I don’t know who or where it’s coming from which is alarming?

Love you,

Thank you for reading my blog.

Chrissie

 

 

 

Everything Chills & More Awards

Right now, in June 2017, i’m all about ‘chills.’ I’ve had a dramatic and simply fun life. It’s been complicated at times, it’s been great, it’s been hard, but  i’ve loved it. The stories I could tell you who shock the frillies off you. I’ve felt every emotion under the sun that one little girl from the orient could go through. But i’ve achieved so much that I could pour a bubbly prosecco and *cheers* to life with a ‘thank you,’

Hasn’t June zoomed by? Infact, we’re jiggling in that time of the year, where from this point onward everything *swooshes* by at the speed of light and before you know it, we’re sat with the people we love by log fires, letting Christmas, Baileys and festive spirit, magic it’s way around us. (I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a Christmas Birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I could take or leave Summer.I adore the warmth of it. Yet, there’s just not the same kind of magic to the season.)

My chick friends and I have been shit at dieting. I say shit. But to be fair, we have been salad eating. Yet every single time the weekend comes, we guzzle pizza and scoff cocktails 😉 like ‘plus size’ is life. Lol. If i’m being honest. I’m quite happy right now and the twenty six year old ‘Hollywood’ version of ‘model’ me would’ve died before she touched a carbohydrate. She would’ve weeped for ‘donkies’ over a pretty boy that didn’t love her.

The thirty six year old version of me is COOL. I am the most comfortable I have ever been and the most emotionally stable kitten that you could ever cross paths with. I couldn’t be more glamorously comfy with who I am and what i stand for. And that took a long time. Haha! I’ve mellowed out. I’m chilled. Don’t get me wrong, I’m passionate. I’m spicy. You don’t mess with me or anyone I care about. Yet, at a time where everything couldn’t be going better for me in life…A time where you’d think that i’d totally lose the plot….I haven’t. I’m not. I’m delighting in peace, laughter and eradicating anything or anyone stressful from tinkering around me.

It’s bliss.

‘She’s literally the most Down to Earth girl you’ll ever meet, cleverly disguised as a DIVA.’

As I said before, I have busy times ahead and i’m really excited and lucky for having them. Yet i’m aced it now, when it comes to balance. Nothing seems to stress me out any more. I have it down. I focus on the things that matter to me. I express how I feel and I live. You should too! Make your choices and then what will be will be. That’s life.

I mean I just had a convo with this amazing guy about life and how we should always blame it. Lol. (This is after he found ‘first date’ hamsters on Facebook)

‘You only live once. I could die tomorrow happy, or you could be stuck with me until I’m 80 and that’s life’s fault.’

I guess, I’m just saying go with it and enjoy it.  Leave stress to the foolish.

But anyway away from that ‘Fairytale Blond’ wants a Cockapoo. (She’s going to have to do a lot of ‘COCKapooing’ to get what she wants.)  ‘Hustle Barbie’ has an Invisalign brace. (I want one to. I hate my wonky bottom tooth.) Double B is getting ready to Baywatch swimsuit it in Greece. (Jealous.) Firmonnell had a new face today. (She smashed work today.) Lady Shizzle opted for ‘wine is the answer’ and Mel has kittens!!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

(In a shed.)

‘The pregnant cat adopted me and has now had kittens in my shed!!’

I’ve got a sore throat…and no I don’t need ‘Penis..cillin’ for it. If I could do anything right now, I would be setting off to the luxury log cabin in the forest. I love it there. It’s my happy place.

Although i’m all about ‘chills’ i’m looking for excitement. I enjoy bursts of *surprise,* yet I am very rarely shocked by anything. It would be nice to be shocked by something. It would be nice to feel a *burst* of excitement.

I will say that, I’m super honoured to have been nominated and then shortlisted for the Diversity in Media awards….I know! For ..

‘BLOGGER OF THE YEAR.’

Crazy! I’ve gone form ‘Content of the Year’ to ‘Blogger of the Year’ in a wink. And i’m not one to focus on awards, as win or lose my blog is about my journey through life….It goes on….

Yet unlike the other awards…I want to win this one. Diversity in Media means a lot to me. I adore what it represents.

The Awards are in September…And you can vote for your favoruites NOW.

Here’s the link to VOTE for me DIRECTLY.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DIMA2017 

But if you want to see all those shortlisted you may. But still VOTE FOR ME. 😉

Scroll down to BLOGGER OF THE YEAR and click VOTE NOW, UNDER MY FACE  Simples. LOL.

http://www.diversityinmediaawards.com/shortlisted-individuals.html 

Hope you have a wonderful evening.

I love you,

Chrissie

 

 

Life, Swirls & Connections…

Today…if I looked at the positive and pick out the bits that matter, even though it rained all day in Yorkshire and parts of work were a draaaag, it was a GREAT DAY to be alive. I’m noticing when i’m happy. I’m embracing the things that I have going on that are wonderful and even though I’m all *winks & banter,* with sassy little stocking shimmies….I’m warm…If you know me personally and infact most of you actually don’t. But i’m grateful that you’re following my life. Know that by nature i’m quite playful, I’m quite soft…but i’m loads of glittery fun….

I looked around me today as I walked across the cobbles in the rain….with the weird blue ‘Lifeboat’ umbrella that I found and yeah…life wasn’t so bad. It was great day to be alive. (Still fucking wished it was Friday though! AND still fricking wish that it didn’t rain all over my hair.)

I have a lot going on right now from book deals, to tours, to modelling shoots, to business meetings, to brand deals and being mum…It’s the best thing EVER and on the whole  a super exciting time..BUT it’s relaxed because i’m feeling really in control of it all and these days, I don’t care about stressing out. It’s a pointless thing that we do when we’re scared. More than anything, I’m flipping lucky! I’ve got this shit down, on a calm easy, hair tossing breeeeeeeeeeeze!

But yeah, I had a conference called this morning. Edited a bit of my new book that’s out this year. I watched ‘Firmonnell’ enter holiday mode and pretty much toss the day off with glee. (I love her on holiday mode. She kept randomly talking tripe to people, like some ‘clingy on’ friend, just to kill time, so she wouldn’t have to do anything. Lol. It worked! Hahah!)

‘Oh hey Dipper…’

‘Oh hey Webbo!’

Double B must have called me a ‘BITCH‘ approximately 13 times today, but I let her off because lets face it, she’s a loon, but she’s fucking hilarious. We talked ‘my future‘ over lunch today, as we discussed life overlooking the town with her Rapunzel hair, whilst she ate super noodles.

‘Hustle Barbie’ had itches, which i’m sure she said were crabs? 🙂

Me: ‘You’re passing your itch onto me…’

Hustle B: ‘Do you have a pen? A black pen. GOD! I can’t reach my ITCH and it kills!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ (who has just got back from helicopter rides to hotels in Monte Carlo,) just looks like she’s going to fall pregnant soon….

‘Honestly! I can see it in your face! You’re gonna end up preggo.’

(She smiled like she liked the idea…)

Mel is on her military diet and smashing ‘weigh ins’ so she doesn’t have to pay to ‘jolly in’ with the slimmers..

‘It’s giving me headache…Where are those Jelly Babies..?’

and Lady Shizzle is showing us group selfies that resemble the cast of TOWIE in Marbs?

‘Did I show this selfie? Look…’

And then there’s me….

Just me…

And if I could tell you anything, I’ll tell you that i’m in a swirl. There’s this guy. The most amazing guy that I could ever know and I cannot even tell you how lucky he makes me feel right now…

When it comes to guys…or girls infact and the art of finding a great match…One of those soul connections that make you *BEAM* because you just can’t help it…you sort of need to gel on every level…don’t you!

With this guy…I have that…and i’ve never really felt like this before…

We can be besties and kick it…lovers and ‘filth it,’ take each other lightly, take each other seriously…express…trust…and just BE! We’re easy going humans….and I’m loving every single minute of ‘right now.’

I’m in a swirl and i’m beaming. He makes me feel really happy. He’s an AMAZING MAN and I don’t think my path would or could ever cross with a better one.

I’m someone who lives in the present and I never stress out about the ahead. People stress out too much about needing to know the outcome of something whilst forgetting to enjoy the ‘right now.’ When you embrace the ‘right now’ magical things happen, Infact  life, love and all sorts develop from those moments and much faster than you expect because you’ve embraced them without fear. We think and analyse things too much, instead of relaxing and really enjoy those moments with love.

For anyone of you IN stressy love life situations know that the development of it all is great, as it’s sort of like receiving a pink gift box… undoing the big bow… slooooowly unravelling the wrapping away, gently opening the box and reaching into it… to see the gift. You pick the gift up and play around with it for a bit…then you hold  palm of your hands and treasure it close to your heart because it’s ended up meaning so much to you, without you realizing. It’s magical. 🙂

But yes, i’m in a swirl.

He’s dynamic, but there’s a peaceful gentleness to him. We’re really similar like that. There’s a playfulness to him, but he’s a stand up guy! I’m really lucky. Anybody who gets to cross paths with this guy is lucky. I trust him.(That’s big) I trust him.

He totally deserved the bunny tail thong picture this morning. 😉

Anyway, I need a cheeky little wine.

Thank you for reading this…you actually mean the world to me. You are reading this with THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, across the entire globe on every single continent of the world, That in itself IS CRAZY! I can’t even believe it.

So whether you’re a mum in Yorkshire, a business man in New York, a teenager in Japan, or a Doctor in Australia? Whether you’re a model in LA, a party girl in London, a husband in Africa, a teacher in Asia….Thank you all for reading…I’ve accidentally connected you ALL, by writing this little online diary… 🙂

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

When Chrissie Met Jack

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling

Friday morning of the Blog Awards and I threw everything into an overnight bag, from a toothbrush to a giant turquoise, sequinned  mermaid dress (I always pack light, because during my time in LA, I moved constantly. I hated having to carry everything with me and learnt to leave things behind, whilst always knowing that the lighter you packed, the quicker you could get away if you needed to. 🙂 )

Anyhow, I dashed to the train station and went from Doncaster to Kings Cross. It literally was a *whizz* of a train, but I’m used to travelling at a moments notice and what could be better than doing so with a much appreciated free gin and tonic and the Geordie announcement man, who kept telling really shit, yet excellently inappropriate jokes, that could’ve got him fired.

‘If you’re getting off at Peterborough…and GOD KNOWS why any of you would want to be getting off or going there…’ 🙂

Lol. Fuck it! You only live once!

That’s why I love travelling Virgin. It’s always so fun and you don’t actually have to be a virgin to the ride it. Who knew? 😉

So, most of the fellows who were headed to the UK Blog Awards that night, only had the Blog Awards to tend to. Lucky. I had two phone meetings on a train, a hotel business proposal, some guy trying to make me sign up to a reality show that I don’t want to do and then my delicious meeting the CEO of Yourfeed UK, Mr. Jack Parsons. (Look above. That’s him.)

So, let me tell you about Jack…Jack Parsons had asked to see me. The summons had come via Twitter and I was excited about it all, from the get go. It was a week after I had spent some time with Steve Bartlett at Social Chain (I was on the Everyday Steve Vlog) and after we fizzled through *busy* schedules, Jack and I managed to ‘diary in’ Friday April 21st for a meeting. I was kitty pumped. He’d read a lot about me and i’d read a lot about him…so I knew that tinkering through the busy London streets in my burnt orange (which was salmon) dress, my tippy tappy Gina heels, Little Mistress Faux Fur and rose gold clutch…was worth it. I had such an easy ride up there, so I knew that the meeting was going to be AMAZING. (I always judge how well my meeting will go, by the physical/emotional ‘temperature’ of my journey to it.  I couldn’t have had an easier journey AND my body was absent of wine. 🙂 )

I LOVE THAT DURING THIS BLOG MY LITTLE BURMESE MOTHER HAS WALKED INTO MY HOME, DASHED UPSTAIRS WITH EXCITEMENT AND JUST HANDED ME A PEN…

‘Look!!! Have you seen my SPERM PEN!!’

Lol. It’s a biro that has pretend sperm swimming in it, with the words ‘Happy Swimmers‘ printed upon it. And you all wonder why I’m might be mentally fucked? Haha! I love it. In her defense, she IS a sexual health Doctor…meaning a pen of that sort really is ‘the norm.’ Kinda like a diamond encrusted ‘bullet’ would be a regular fixture in my version of Wunna land. (Sorry, I’m getting a flashback of ‘Double B‘ telling me the story of how she once bought a ‘bullet’ got so excited and used it so incredibly madly, that she got ‘all the thrush.’ Lol. DYING!)

Shit. I’ve got distracted. I arrived in London. Platform 4? Everyone kept glaring at me. I checked into my hotel and took the easiest journey to 247 Tottenham Court Road to see Jack at Yourfeed UK, on what felt like the loveliest, most unstressful day ever.

Jack is one of the youngest and most inspiring CEO’s in Britain. (I seem to be meeting a lot of them recently, don’t I! You meet everyone for a reason)

He’s only 23…

Jack: ‘But I look fifteen…’

So Jack is currently being hailed as ‘The Prime Minister of The Millennials’ and a ‘Young Richard Branson.‘ Dashing titles aren’t they? Not bad for an inspiring, non smoking, non drinking, easy going, 23 year old CEO. But yes, he is on a big mission to connect 2 million young people to opportunities by 2010. It’s a HUGE challenge, but he’ll do it. I’ve never met a more SAVVY guy, who’s only 23 flipping three! And i’m not joking. I would never just say it. This guy knows everything he needs to know…and goes for it, with passion, skill and this confidence that proceeds him, yet it’s sponged in a humble kindness.

This Summer he is also doing a big ‘on the road’ Pledge tour…I want to be part of that! I’m in the mood to inspire…He totally said I could be. Booyah! *Wiggle Wink.*

Yet, at 1pm as I sat in what looked like a fun waiting room, with MTV playing on a wall mounted TV screen behind me, all the snazzy coffee machines infront of me, business reads on my lap, a ‘table footy’ thing to my right and variously placed giant cacti, surrounding a sign that read ‘HAVAS MEDIA GROUP..’ by lifts…there was a peace, a calm…a really positive, qiuet energy.

‘Hey, I’m Jack.’

(Holds out his hand.  Confident. Positive. Direct. Warm. I look up, stand up, shake his hand with a smile and follow him walking…)

‘Nice to meet you. Do I sound really common?’

‘Haha. No. I’m from Essex…’

‘I love Essex, It’s so bouji now. 😉 ‘

And that’s how it began…

He walked me to through the offices, whilst offering me a drink and led me to HIS office,

‘This is my gaff..’

…which had a fun brick wall, the word YOURFEED written in emojis and a naked Homer Simpson picture in the corner. Was he naked? Can’t remember? 🙂

A cuppa tea and a water were brought in…and life was great!

Straight away without fear, he sits back in his chair, grabs a black note book and pen and starts asking me direct questions, about my life…as he takes notes…and I loved that about him. He got straight to it. We’re both very different. Yet both dynamic and inspiring in our own special ways. He’s a lot more business savvy than I am. He’s real, he’s insightful, he’s inspirational and honest. He doesn’t wear a watch, he keeps things simple, knows how to work a crowd, build a crowd and is the most down to earth human ever.

HE LITERALLY KNOWS EVERYONE. All the most important people in all the land and they respect him for all that he has achieved and all that he is continually doing. He’s someone who CARES about what you’re doing…He’s a ‘tell it as it is’ kinda guy and is the first person in a REALLY LONG TIME, when it comes to business, to turn around, give up his time and offer to help me because he believes in me, finds Wunna Land interesting and just felt like helping someone…and for nothing in return, other than sharing his knowledge.

That’s special isn’t it! You don’t get that these days. Trust me. I know! Not only is that kind, but it’s also very clever…;)

Jack: ‘Now, I read that you don’t like really long winded stories…so I’m gonna cut it down and just hit the bullet points.’

( I liked that!)

He asked me about my story and we talked about my time in LA.

Jack: ‘What did you learn from living in LA?’

Me: ‘I learnt to hustle. It’s a town packed with the most determined and ambitious people in the world…and you have to figure out a way to get noticed, be talented and be able to get what’s yours! YET still be emotionally strong. I learnt everything I know about anything…in Hollywood, because I lived it.’

(And I did! I stiletto pounded that pavement. I worked. I hustled. I bustled. I modelled. I acted. I fell in love. Out of love. I lived!! Oh did I LIVE! But I began MY BLOG and wrote simply out of the love of expression…which 10 years later…would MAKE ME.)

He smirked. Sat back and with an..

‘I like you…’

He threw his his note book down on a desk..

‘I’m not taking notes anymore…’

and told me his story, where it all began, where it was now and where it was going to be headed, as he soon heads his passion Stateside, after championing the UK.

And from that moment on we just bonded, we just got along and work wise it felt great. It was a laugh. We chatted about everything. His work. My work. The work of other people. We laughed about it all. Laughed about ourselves. We told each other stories and HOW I DIDN’T TAKE GEORGE SAMPSON’S VIRGINITY and I called him ‘Royal’ as that’s how I expected him to be..

‘Royal? What do you even mean?’

‘Like a member of the Royal family! lol’

We pissed ourselves laughing.

But I was ASTOUNDED by how much this young guy knew about his world and business. I LEARNT SO MUCH IN AN HOUR AND A HALF  and i’m really not joking. It was genuinely one of the most helpful and inspiring meetings that I have had in…EVER! He’s that good! You would be astonished. I liked how savvy he was. I liked that he just looked at me, pissed himself…and liked me anyway. Lol.

But yes, he’s running Yourfeed UK. He has started a really great Vlog also. It’s real, it’s fun and simply excelling. I’ve started to really love Vlogs as they’re the future reality tv shows. I film the advert for my Vlog shortly…and can’t wait to start mine.

Jack: ‘Right, book back in my diary for again and i’ll help you…’

I’ve never met a more helpful business guy? I love people who I can learn from and we in that hour and a half, discussed so many ways where in which we could develop and improve chrissiewunna.com, into the ‘big time.’

He’s one of those business guys who follows through on his word. He stressed that to me confidentially.

‘If i say something to you. I will follow through with it… ALWAYS.’

I was bamboozled by how smart Jack was….and I respect him for that.

That was a great fucking meeting…I absorbed so much. I want to go on his Summer Tour.

Jack: ‘Can I just ask you something?’

Me: ‘Yeah…’

Jack: ‘You know you bought Steve that Gucci hat….

Me: ‘Yeah it was cool because i had written a blog about how it got to him and then he did a vlog, which showed the gift arriving on his desk..in real life…’

Jack: ‘Did you get you anything back, like he said he would…?’

I’d never really thought about it until then…but it stuck in my mind, as I left the office, *cuddled and cheek kissed* Jack a farewell…and then dashed back across London, back to my hotel to chill for a few hours, after a few drinks and a Mexican late lunch. I watched Real Housewives of New York and was reunited with my passion for Bethany Frankel. (My FAVE housewife of all time.)

Then I watched ‘Dinner Date’ which reminded me of my ‘Swirl.’ I can’t seem to watch it effectively without wanting to hear his banter beside me.

I used my chill time wisely, before slipping into my dress and heading to the UK Blog Awards…

I look forward to my next meeting with Jack…It was a really useful and insightful time…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be Happy…

Always remember to do the things that you love. Always remember to ONLY do the things that you love. Pay attention to the things that you love. The things that make you happy. And at the same time pay attention the things that don’t. It can be a job, a lifestyle, a guy, a girl, a situation, a choice, a relationship, your personal environment,  a persona, the people who have around you, Make sure you are happy, as I cannot reiterate to you enough, how precious life is and how even though it may seem like we have ages on this glamourous little Earth Ball…time flies..boy..does it FLY…and we really do only have 100 years, if we’re lucky, to do life, love and live, the way we’ve always wanted. Embrace your new chapters and don’t ever settle for being *stuck* as nothing is worse than a rut, that doesn’t make you smile.

I mean, we has humans constantly try and talk ourselves out of choices that may better us, even if they make us happy and simply because we’re scared that we might not be safe. Y’know, things like…

‘I can’t leave my job, even though it depresses me…’

‘I daren’t fall in love…They’ll hurt me…’

‘I’ve got to do what’s right for EVERYONE ELSE…even if it goes against what I believe is right for me…’

Stay loyal to what makes you happy.

What i’ve learnt from living my life personally, is that my best EVER choices, where i’ve really succeeded and *BEAMED,* be it in business, love or just life have always stemmed from me committing to really big decisions, changes and without fear. I’ve felt fear a lot of times in life…I mean, when i was younger growing up in LA, when i was getting divorced…Many times…I’ve felt fear and every time I have, i’ve felt weak.  I’ve been in a weak place.

These days, I can tell you…that im’ not scared to love madly, like a guy is my world , as I throw the rule book out the window. I’m not scared to change jobs, work or choices…I always know that i’ll be fine and i’ll be happier. I’m never scared to always do what’s right for me. I’m caring, loving and i’m emotionally generous, yet i’m respectful to what I believe in and loyal to that whole heartedly.

Don’t waste your time or life on things that don’t make you happy. It’s not worth it. Be strong, Being unhappy makes you do stupid things. Being happy makes your soul *BEAM.* You’ll feel on top of the world, like you can conquer anything.

I can honestly tell you that with the right love, determination, hard work and passion…you can make ANYTHING WORK. You can make your dreams come true.ESPECIALLY in this day, this age, this time If I can do it. ANYONE can do it!

People always say that in order to be successful you have to make sacrifices and I don’t think you do. As I’m someone who believes that you need a balance of everything in your world, in order to be ‘whole.’ I live every moment, like it’s precious and I juggle everything with merriment. I’m the Queen of ‘the juggle.’ The juggle is real. 🙂 I’m not defeated by having to juggle anything. Yet, yes, you probably have to ditch bad habits and things that prevent you from being happy or a success…Yet when you’ve got the balance right, everything in your world will be easy. It’ll all feel easy. Work will be easy. Money will come easily. Opportunity will be there..and your love life will not be draining. It will flow with happiness and with great ease. You won’t have to try, it’ll just work.

The only reason why i’m writing this blog is simply because I keep having conversations with people, who are so unhappy with the way their life is, yet they dare not even attempt to make a change. Yet, at the same time, I’ve had conversations with random people, on trains, on my walks to work, who are SO happy with everything in their life because they’ve kept it simple and stayed loyal to their own feelings. You can even FEEL how happy they are, because their *BEAM* is contagious.

I LOVE HAPPY PEOPLE.

I also wanted to write this blog to REMIND MYSELF to make the right choices and I don’t always AT FIRST make the right choices, but I always know that i’m gonna be okay, because in the end I WILL because my system can’t help itself. It doesn’t work like that. I’m always happy because  I embrace my chapters and with utter love and passion. As soon as i’m not happy, my system *flags it up* like an ‘alert’ and my soul stops me from continuing this random malarky of *sad face.*

Only do the things you love.

I’m also writing this blog because I get hundreds of messages that seep into my world via all platforms of Social Media. They pour into Wunna land like a digital stream of non stop magic. And I appreciate all your messages. All of them.

Yet, I do sometimes think that some of you see me in a really different light to what I’m actually like in ‘real person’ lol…as I call it… 🙂

Yes, i’m fun, i’m sassy, I’m glammy, i’m gobby and i’m open. But I’m filled with warmth, a love, i’m the most down to earth girl you will ever meet and yeah I adore a piss take and a stilleto strut, but i’m pretty calm and together. I’m pretty sensible…in a fun, wild kinda way. 🙂 I’m not wishy washy at all. I’m positively, with a smile…direct..and i’m kind. I’m not ‘DIVA.’ YET I AM NOT DULL.

I’m a hard person to know, unless you know me, I guess?

But i’m reading through all my messages tonight and there’s so many. I find it so interesting. And even though I love being all over my social media and blogging away…at the same time (and because I believe in balance) I ADORE those moments away, where there’s just me, or i’m chilling with friends, I have zero attention, or those moments where I just get to be MUM and have my pj’s on, as I snuggle and chitter with Ruby and Junior. They’re my entire WORLD!

So it may seem that I’d do anything for a boozy cocktail, good time, a wink a night on the razzle. (And yes, I do adore fun.) YET let me assure you that everything that I do, in my ENTIRE LIFE is FOR Ruby & Junior. EVERYTHING. I live for them. And yeah, I might not have it easy, as i’m a single mum of two, which means I haven’t really ever had the comfort of just being able to be MUM. I’ve had to hustle the whole time. But I like it because it provides for them…and I know that one day the Big Dude up above will cut me some slack and throw me a bone. (No, not a boner. 🙂 ) When that happens…I’ll be able to finally sit back and *breathe* with relief.

Always remember to only do the things that make you happy….

Lots of love,

Chrissie,

Ps/ I’m Snapchatting for the rest of the night.

Catch me there: chrissiewunna1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing Your Inner Sexiness

I had a bit of a ‘wobble’ yesterday. I don’t know what happened? I lost my swag for a moment and this innocent yet not very sexy cloud of panic…which is a dramatic way of putting ‘insecurity’ swept across my glittery shores. lol.

‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me? I can’t eat! I’m looking at my phone. I’m feeling all weak and not in control..I’m…I’m..’

Mel: ‘You’re boring me now. You need to man up.’

Firmonnell: ‘You just need to go with it and enjoy it…’

Fairytale Blond: ‘YES! I get like that too!’

You see, the great thing about being Me, is that when a ‘wobble’ in Wunna land occurs (that should be the title to a book or a sex toy.) …and because i’m probably the most expressive girl you’ll unfortunately ever cross paths with 🙂 IF I KNOW YOU. If i don’t, I’m quite *nod…nod..smile smile…* Yet, with my girls, i’m wild, fun and all ‘oh my GOD, get what’s happened!!’ Yet, that’s because I adore them, we’re a team, they make me feel all comfy and not very judged. We can say or do anything to each other, in love, banter or life and charmingly get away with it all. We never judge each other and we can’t because we’re all so different. Instead we admire what the others have on offer and sassily help one another out when necessary.

They staggered around me and gave life smirks, laughter, took the piss out of me and ping ponged really good advice into my soul for about 14 minutes. Some were in swivel chairs, others on phones, one by a window. I’m glad my discomfort makes them laugh. NOT! Lol.

But then i had a bag of crisps and a popcorn tea and felt better…Which made me decide that I wasn’t feeling all ‘crazy,’ I was just hungry.

Then we started chatting about other people’s problems and it sort of again made me feel better! Lol. It was weird as i’ll draw the spotlight onto myself and then when everyone’s taking notice, I’ll panic and get more anxious. Then when the spotlight turned and lit up someone elses life…I felt powerful again? Lol. It’s hard being a glamour puss. 😉

Then I don’t know what happened but we started to talk about our sex lives. Well no, that’s wrong…we started to talk about OUR OWN sensuality and where we RANK ourselves in the ‘how sexy we are‘ in bed stakes.

Mel’s all naughty. She’s a grown ass woman, who wouldn’t think twice at the idea of fur coating it with no undies on, with a wink in her eye and sassy glint of powerhouse.

I love that! As when you’re past your 20’s, you turn from girl to woman and BOY do you embrace it sexually. You enjoy sex more, you enjoy your own body more, you feel more comfortable with being openly sexy and YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE and how to please. You’re less insecure and you know what turns you on. You feel powerful in the bedroom.

I FEEL POWERFUL IN THE BEDROOM.

So when it comes to me, i’m cheeky, but i’m naughty. I embrace my sexuality, love intimacy in general and ooze sensuality. I’m loving, but i’m playful…and being in touch with my little sexy self…I’m confident. I’ll go for it and because I enjoy being sexy….especially with someone that I care about. I adore role play. I love dress up. I love it all. If i didn’t like anything, It would be outside sex. I don’t like to be cold. Lol. (Such a granny.)

I think, as girls…or ladies…we all have our issues, don’t we? ‘The Bedroom’ is not one of mine…It’s a really comfy and really private place for me. It seems like i’d tell you everything when it comes to sex, when I’d really tell you nothing, as the privacy of intimacy is what makes sensuality sexy.

But anyway we were chatting about sex and whether we’d send naughty pictures etc…People shouldn’t get cut up about being sexy or feeling sexy. It winds me up when people judge girls who embrace their sexuality…Sex shouldn’t be taboo. It should be fun. Providing you’re an adult…When you’re a chick…SEX IS BEST WHEN YOU GET INTO YOUR 30’S…FOR BOTH PARTIES.

But yeah, we’re chatting away about all things senusal…

and YOU SHOUDL’VE SEEN FAIRYTAE BLONDS FACE.

Now, Fairytale Blond has got ‘the sexy.’ Whether she embraces it or not, I don’t know? No..that’s not true. I do know. She doesn’t. Lol.

Mel and I are sat girl chatting about all sorts, so openly, like ‘Debbie Does Dallas’ is an episode of The Antiques Road Show and ‘Fairytale Blond’ was sat on her swivel chair, blushing pink with shyness and having to fan her self repeatedly because..

‘Gosh it’s getting a bit hot in here…’

HAHAHAHA!

We all just pissed ourselves laughing. She’s so cute. It’s to die for! I’ve never known anything like it.  She’s so ‘Fairytale.’ We literally had to turn the heat down, so she could pull herself together. Lol. But i know, that she has ‘the sexy‘  in her because she too can quite openly talk about sex…It just makes her blush.

THEN to my left, I noticed Firmonnell. And I know Firmonnell is sexy, because her and her husband used to have a sex step. She enjoys sex, she’ll do sex…but she’s not one to chatter about it. Which is honourable. 🙂 But shit, if you want to know everything.

‘Do you send your hubby nudes?’

(Straight forward question from the girls…Lol)

‘Well i’ve been with him since i was 19. When i was younger..at that time things weren’t so techy. It’d cost us 30p to send a picture message. So no…i’d probably run out of credit!’

HAHAHAHA!

However, after girl talk, sex talk and confidence talk…Something tells me their other halves are now in for surprise sexy treats.

 

 

Girls, Business and I’m Going on a Date…

Where to begin? Busiest Tuesday ever! But I must secretly love busy, as I watched ‘Fairytale Blond’ fuck Tuesday morning off with a McDonalds breakfast, (she’s had a stressy love life weekend. Not ideally ‘fairytale’, yet it’s all been glossed over with smiles and love. So i’m happy.) I did ‘Marks & Sparks’ lunch with ‘Firmonnell,’ who I just can’t help but love. It’s almost like there’s nothing ‘Firmonnell’ can do, that would ever piss me off, as we have the same warped sense of humour and tap into each other emotional chick zones. I talk to her a lot about life, my secrets, work, boys everything…If there’s a person I gossip to, it’s often ‘Firmonnell’ at any point. Mel…in ‘the cupboard’ when you’re not watching. Fairytale Blond on Snapchat, Shelby openly with office banter and sass, Lynne and Lady Shizzle in the morning and Hustle Barbie when she’s opposite me.

Me: ‘I thought we were all on the same period cycle..but we must not be? Have you had your period yet?’

‘Yeah. A week ago! I’ve come off mine???

Me: ‘But why have you had your period before me. You’ve left me hanging??’

I then  praised the Lord, Gospel Style with ‘Double B.’ We’re said our ‘Amens’ to the world with sass and bad accents! That’s how we chose to spend a good ten minutes of our life. Pretending to be a gospel choir. 🙂

Double B: ‘Fairytale Blond! Just do it. Just take that call and start praising the Good Lord, Jesus and all that other good stuff.’

Instead cookies distracted us.

Y’know, we’re all chicks and we’re all working so hard and dabbling in business this and business that. We’ve all had sort of these amazing weekends because we need those two days in a row to just RELAX and enjoy alcoholics. I mean, ‘Hustle Barbie’ went from a weekend of doing ‘The worm’ and ‘Just for Chrissie *Twerking* videos on snapchat’ to the most conservatively glamorous Monday morning of executive stuff that you could imagine. (She’s just sent me a snap of her stew dumplings, which Hot Alex her boyf ate, so she couldn’t bring me a portion. 🙂 But I love Alex, as he bought her a surprise holiday.)

I want to tell you about Mel and her trip to the gynecologist, LOL…but I don’t know if I can…so I’ll wait on that until tomorrow. Hahahahah! DYING! I love her! She nearly passed out. If she gives me the ‘go ahead’…the story is yours. LOL. Mel is terrifying. But I LOVE HER. We’ve become SO close over the past months. She’s in a love swirl and it’s making her smile. Plus, I admire her for her ‘warrior’ type attitude to all that she is going through. Sometimes it’s not easy being a girl. We just make it look easy. 😉

But yes, it’s a really busy time on Wunna Land and today a dude named James did suggest that he ‘would be my SheWee baby.’ Hahaha! Yes, he sang it to me. 🙂 

Apparently my girl friends and I moan so much about having to walk up three flights of stairs in heels to do a wee, that we should all rethink the idea of having ‘She Wees.’ (If you don’t know what that is, it’s a portable wee penis looking spout that a girl can wee in times of trouble.)

FIRSTLY! I AM CHRISSIE WUNNA, GLAMOUR PUSS EXTRAORDINAIRE AND YOU WOULD HAVE TO GAUGE MY DIAMONDS AND EYES OUT BEFORE I EVER USED A SHE WEE.

But fuck it, let’s give them a bit of promo…It’s better than going in a bush. (I’d rather go in a bush.) And handy if you’re a ‘Festival chick.’ (I’m not a grubby festival chick. 🙂 )

But yes, if you’ve prefer not to wee in someone’ cupped hands…than a She Wee is the answer to all your prayers, Google it.

James offered to BE my ‘She Wee’ today. Lol. AND cupped hands!

Me: ‘Why are you a dickhead?’

Fairytale Blond: ‘What is a She Wee?’

Double B: ‘It’s like a crack pipe for nunnies…’ LOL.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE LIFE!

Away from that, I will tell you that on Sunday I decided to go on more dates….

I haven’t dated in ages…I don’t want to be dry when it comes to the art of dating…but i don’t want to just date anyone, who isn’t the right soul fit.

Get it?

Anyway, I recieved this message…from a guy that i’ve been ‘on and off’ chatting to for actually years now. Not constantly…but he popped up again recently.

Before, i wasn’t really in a position to go on a date or feel like a dating…

However, in life, sometimes you just have to say ‘yes’ to more things..Saturday…I’m on a date…In Ipswich.

It’s a Date that my guy friends are more excited about than my chick friends. Aside from Mel and ‘Firmonnel’ who know sport or have husbands who know sport…

I haven’t been on a proper sort of meet up, ‘date’ with a guy, in a long time, where I have felt a ‘swirl.’

I feel a ‘swirl’ going down..

I’m excited for Saturday. He tells me he is also. Banter and chitter chatter is good and i find him ‘sexy’ hot. So we’ll see…At least he’s forward enough to quite cheekily and charmingly ‘have a go.’ That’s hot. We get on well…I like him…I have my ‘swirl’ smile on.

Firmonell: ‘I can tell you’re in a swirl this time!’

So yes, I have a shoot that morning and then i’m headed off to go spend some time with the ‘Mister Mister Football Player.’

I haven’t been on a ‘swirl’ date in ages…

🙂