Va Voom, Life & Lucky Little Me..

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Happy MONDAY! The snow has finally disappeared and today in good old Yorkshire…the sun is OUT! I might even have a BBQ and wear a polka dot bikini.

Chick friend Mazzy: ‘How about you do the opposite and just actually put ya clothes on.’

YIPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEE!

(Why are all my friends dicks.)

I’ve made the official decision to hate snow. It’s not by ANY MEANS, cute, white and fluffy. It’s shit. And if I could influence anything…It would be for you to realize how snow, is ONLY great at Christmas…when we need it.

What have you been up too? I’ve have so much going on right now and i’ve headed myself into a really really busy month. Everything’s really exciting. So exciting that i’m having to pinch myself. I can’t believe it.  I’m filled with *va vooom,* i’m armed with my Bee Venom moisturizer…

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(Thought i’d get that plug in there.. Lol…Venomskincare.co.uk… Follow all their socials. They do the BEST hydrating moisturizer… It is the best anti ageing moisturizer in all of the land…

And i’m on the way UP! I’m taking each day as it comes. I’m not looking to race folk to the finish line, and i’m doing it my way…which is right for me, as I run Wunna Land. 🙂

Welcome to my life…Thank you following it..,

As I told you in my last blog, ALL areas of my life are brimming with ‘Happy’ right now. Everything’s just great and sort of sprinkled with love and excitement. I feel really happy! It seems that in life….no matter what…. it all we really actually care about is being happy. (We look for that ‘happy’ buzz and try and find it everywhere…)

Why do people forget that…

Anyway, I watched a video today by Flora Tea Uk, (i’m obsessed with Japanese flowering teas, in case you didn’t know.) Anyway they were on Dragons Den and today i’m gonna write out the quotes that I read on their video, simply because they made me feel good… (If you don’t like quotes, shoot wine.)

It was the first thing I read this morning, after checking my Intsa, whilst still in bed…

‘Life doesn’t have to be perfect, to be beautiful.’

‘Remember that sometimes not getting what you want, is a stroke of luck.’

‘Happiness is easy….It’s an option you can choose..’

‘Beautiful is simple…You can just look around and find it.’

It made me want to buy tea….So I did. Then straight afterwards, 3 other companies gifted me with flowering teas, with a request to feature.

As a blogger & influencer, you are ‘gifted’ quite a lot…You are treated pretty well whenever you are out and about….(because they know you’ll blog your experience)…Yet, I WILL tell you that I personally, will only let a company or a brand ‘gift’ me ONCE

If I adore the product, place or brand, I’ll tell everyone, about it…They’ll usually then offer to ‘give you, give you’ more, more. HOWEVER, I know what it’s like to run a business and my manners are impeccable, unless i’m filled with cocktails…and I don’t believe it’s right for people to just take. So i’ll always THEN buy into the brand, unless it’s an actual paid partnership deal and well that’s a whole different story. That’s all money and decimal places. Collaborations are business deals at the end of the day, where two parties benefit.

Things are really great right now and because I decided to make a change towards the end of last year. I chose to do what I love…and went for it, because I wasn’t scared to.

It worked. I don’t know how? But I’m so happy.

OH MY GOD! How emotional was ‘Dancing on Ice’ last night! I was flipping crying!! Sat with my Mum, eating celery and crying. It made me cry so much that I Tweeted it out and ITV retweeted it, because they felt my pain. I was in bits. Good producing much!

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I can’t even watch it anymore….

Jake will win…and that’s that. It gets emotional when you’re on a reality show, because you can’t believe what you’ve been through, going through or achieved. It’s pressure, but it’s amazing.

It always gives you a story to tell and that’s what i’m about…That to me, is what life is about…That’s why i sometimes hate it when people don’t let me tell their part of MY story…if they have crossed paths with me.

AT the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. You’re gonna be 80 and be able to look back on this or your story and laugh out loud. It’s so important….

That’s why I love Lisa (as in Appleton,) we were in the loos at a charity event a few months ago, swigging her handbag cider and she said exactly that.

People are so scared of what others think… It’s a weakness, I tells ya! Enjoy your story! Live it!

FUCK WHAT ANYONE THINKS.

Away from that, i’ve had a busy, but wonderful weekend. It’s been filled with Ruby, Junior and family, and then dashed with work. I have a lot of opportunity right now and I just want to say…

THANK YOU

(I can’t believe it.)

I managed to go visit the newly refurbished Costa, at The Frenchgate Centre. I’m currrently doing a lot for my home town, where I was born, which is Doncaster, and it was a pleasure to meet everyone and enjoy a chilled out coffee and a wink… (I moved all the furniture, simply so I could do instagram pics…/LOL) 

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My mum was even laughing…

Mum: ‘I love how she doesn’t even care…She’ll just move everything herself and start pouting and posing like she’s on a full on shoot, like nobodies watching…but everybodies watching’

Me: ‘It’s my job!!! Is it making you feel weird? Lol. Take another pic, but do it from further back…Haha.’

I had a whole bunch of chocolate covered coffee beans, as in handfuls and handfuls…. and I don’t know what happened, but I was wired straight after that!!! I couldn’t even think…I was bouncing off walls.

Maybe they were magic beans?

Maybe i’m just a tool..

Right, i’ve got nothing else to say now, as I’ve i’ve got a ton of work to get through!

But I AM currently having a flashback of a time when I was in LA, hungover and booked on a modelling gig for a movie that morning. Two hours later I found myself sat in the very TOP carriage of a ferris wheel, in the blistering LA heat, with a hangover sweat, as movie filming was occurring above and below me and Danny Devito was waiting at the bottom of the ferris wheel for his scene.

What is my life…?

Happy Monday!

Follow me on everything….

It’s the rules.

 

 

Influencing Lip Balms, Nudey Balloons & I Fainted

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Mornings make me happy and they’re such an important part of the day because each time you wake up, (whether you’re fresh as a daisy, off to work, rolling some eye candy out of our bed, hungover, happy, worried, or dashing off with the kids,) you get another shot at doing life! It’s a whole new start! It feels good! We kinda take it for granted.

Just like that… everything could stop…So it’s important to remember to treasure and enjoy the things that you have… while you still have them.

Only do the things that make you happy, fall in love, take your chances, look good whilst your doing it and make your wishes and dreams come true. Build your career, build your family, never feel judged by what people think or say and live it with every inch of your soul.

(Why am I trying to sound like some life guru right now? 🙂 Let’s be real, I fainted last last whilst on the actual toilet at around 1am in the morning. Lol. Am I the only ‘glamour puss’ to ever do that?)

Now, before we all start getting in a tizzy and ringing all these panic bells. It was a comedic faint, not a ‘Call the Doctor’ faint.

My drunk chick friend had been snap chatting last night, before ‘shut eye’ and charger ‘plugins.’ 

Chick friend: ‘I’m only on 11 percent battery life now. I’m pissed. Mof sleep.’

Me: Don’t you dare wake me up, start all this *look at me, look at me, pay attention to me* thing and then just be like, fuck it i’m off to sleep, once i’m here! Lol’

I was laid in bed, fast asleep…happy as can be….and then my stomach started to kill….It hurt SO much, that I was trying to ignore it. I tried to pretend that it wasn’t actually happening, because ofcourse, when you do, and you close your eyes, whilst hiding under the duvet…it’s not! 🙂

IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

When I was 19, the guy that I was dating cheated on me and I’d walked into his home and seen him in bed with a girl…that he had ‘boned’ all night.

Yippppeee!

At the time I was devastated…OFCOURSE! But now, at 37 and after doing moderately well in life, 😉  I look back on that memory fondly, like it’s a juicy, yet comedic little burst of Wunna life memory because HE DID the ‘close your eyes, hide under the duvet and pretend it’s not happening’ thing…and in that moment, he must have REALLY shat himself. Poor sod.

He went on to try and win me back. I moved to Hollywood and married a ‘movie star.‘ 🙂

Hurrah!

How have I got this distracted!?! I’m meant to be telling you about my flipping tummy ache.

Hurt so bad (like that cramp you get in your leg that is uncontrollably painful, but just like ouchy bits of life, you have to go through it anyway…Lol.) I was trying to *swag* it out. When you *swag* something out, when no ones watching you, it’s really awkward and uncomfortable. 🙂

Got up, did a giant naked SPRINT to the loo, sat on the toilet and I don’t know what happened, but my whole body did this hot, cold, flush thing, all these yellow blurry dots, *fuzzed* over me, and I kinda just remember keeling over for a moment, losing m mind and feeling all hot and sweaty…

I woke up on the floor, after about a minute or so, right as rain, like i’d just watched a bit of telly, or had a ham sandwich…

Then I ‘naked’ walked back to bed and immediately fell asleep.

Why am I so WEIRD! THAT IS NOT NORMAL. No wonder I’ve been married so many times!!!

Dear Future Husband,

Please just love me anyway…

Look!! I look really good half naked with balloons….

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OOoooh Balloons…

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Sold? Good! Thought so! *Wiggle Wink*

But away from all that….Yesterday was a great day!

I was at a catch up meeting with ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Magazine, minding my own business, rambling on about my life, going on about how i’m going to be getting this new amazing body….

…and as I scrolled through my email, I received a message from ‘Amy’ in regards to the Lypsyl Mirror Compact Lip Balm, that I had loved and therefore ‘influenced,’ on my socials.

I loved it so much and like I always say, when you’re an influencer you receive and try out a lot of things, be they products, places, or people….and it’s hard to fit everything into your socials….

However, I genuinely loved my mirror compact madly and was so grateful to Lypsyl, that I basically featured it on my Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and Facebook immediately…

ALL MY SOCIALS (which you should all be following)

Yesterday….My Lypsyl Mirror Compact and I were featured in The Sun…and Fabulous Magazine…

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How good is that! I literally *SCREECHED* in the middle of Ego, at my meeting….

House of Solo, ‘Big A’ kept doing these ‘being jealous’ faces at me. Lol.

But it felt really GOOD, to have teamed up with Lypsyl (which is a huge glorious brand,) influence something and then to see it in the national press…

It felt really good!

(They’re such a wonderful team…)

I was jumping around a cocktail bar, they were jumping around their office.

Everyone was filled with excitement…

I felt like the luckiest girl in the world….and when I’m excited, i’m like a little girl. I beam!

I WILL tell you, that things in my life right now, are kinda wonderful, in ALL areas…..I know! Can you even believe it?  And whether I am or not, right now, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world…

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It’s All A Bit Of A Cheeky Jumble….

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Happy Monday!!! How are you all? I’m alright today, to say it’s Monday. I’ve got a lot of ‘first part of the week’ work on….and like i’ve just said to a friend,

‘Once it’s all sorted, shot, filmed, out there and promo’d…I’ll be able to finally shit..Shit? I meant *SIT*…Lol… chill and enjoy.’

There’s so any little bits going on and i’m just not being organised. I need to grab all the loose ends and bow tie them pronto. I’m sort of letting it take control of ME, rather than OWNING the reins like a champion.

Whatsapp Msg: ‘Get ya arse into gear and sort it out…’

I have modes. When i’m on ‘work’ mode, I ROCKET IT. I have tunnel vision and I smash it about with my Girl Boss’ wink. When i’m on ‘lets have fun’ mode…That’s all I can seem to do. And I always only do what I want. Never anything less. I’m naturally fun, so it’s easy. Then, finally when i’m on ‘chill’ mode, which is my favourite mode….I adorn the art of relaxing in true glamour puss style. I like to put things in categories…So technically, I must be more organised than i believe?

RIGHT?? PLEASE AGREE…

But like I said, a gzillion shoots, blogs, advert filming, auditions and all sorts is on the cards. I even have to finish off writing a book in that time.

I’ll do it. I’ve got my ‘updo’ in and that always makes me work harder. 😉 The kids even gave me neon ‘putty’ to destress me, in case I went mental.

They both went to their Fathers, yesterday afternoon and I molded putty into a penis, a bracelet and a bottle opener, because you really don’t need anything more than those three items in life.

In that time, I could’ve smashed work emails or shot more content. 🙂 But it was Sunday and Sunday’s are about chilling, right? Lol

I love my excuses.

I mean, who dashes about on a Sunday? (Other than all the most successful people in the world.  🙂 ) Sometimes, I get my priorities straight and other times…I just don’t.

Like right now, I’m having a conversation about how I was late to my own WEDDING REHEARSAL in LA, because I was shopping. They had to do it without me. Lol. I didn’t prioritize well on that day. (It was the first time around.)

Actually, in my DEFENSE…(and this is all in my ‘ABOUT ME’ section on this site, which you can all go and read, if you fancy.) I didn’t see it as a priority because I was actually already secretly married to the groom. No one knew, but us and our two best friends, who witnessed it. So the wedding was more like a ‘production‘ than a real life thing.

Shopping came first that day. 🙂

If I ever got married again….I’d do it privately…and tell you about it afterwards.

But back to work! I’ve managed to get distracted again…

The good thing is, that at least my business is ‘my own life’ and the work part of ‘my own life’ is online. So, like I said, once i’ve whipped all the ‘graft’ ..I can ‘glamourously’ relax for a bit, and let it HOPEFULLY work it’s own magic.

I like the word ‘MAGIC.’ Do you?

Right, i’m off because I’ve actually got quite a lot to master today. Plus, a parents evening for Junior this afternoon.

This conservation has just happened with one of my chick friends..

‘Why is my life shit!’

‘Your life isn’t shit! Yours is ace. Mine is shit.’

‘No, we’ve both got shit lives…but just doing shit differently..lol’

When that convo happens, you know you’re actually alright, because if things were really that shitty, you’d hit *panic* button and run around screaming. You wouldn’t be laughing about it. 🙂

Hope you have an amazing Monday!

Oh and i’m getting a ton of messages about my ‘Only Fans’ thing. The site where you can subscribe to ‘exclusive’ content…which is the ‘cheeky’ version of my selfies.

The reason why I’ve started that, is simply because I have a lot of followers from all different walks of lives, all different ages, all different genders and with all different ‘wants.’

And I feel as though everyone is sort of getting mixed up in a jumble. So i’ve giving people specific places to go…So that they can find what they are PERSONALLY looking for in Wunna Land.

If you like to follow my diary, actually read the blog and specifically follow my life..It’s here. It’s you number one WUNNA LAND SPOT. Everything you want or need to know or learn about me, is here.

My Instagram will become more ‘LIFESTYLE.’ It’ll become more ‘Influencery.’ (Which is always great for the girls and teens.)

One Facebook Profile will become ‘family.’

My Twitter will be my brief bursts of banter.

My Stories & Snapchat will just be video…

And my Only Fans content will be for all the gents, who just want to see the ‘cheeky’ pics, which they’ll have to subscribe too….as lets face it…I won’t have my bra on…and it’s cold. 🙂

This is all happening shortly…and by next month…It will all be in place. So, there’s no more jumble and each ‘social’ will have a different voice.

Got it?

See! I am organised after all! 😉

 

 

 

 

Kitty Sexuality, Wantons & Mind Blocks…

I just keep having these really weird dreams. The other night I dreamt that I was outside in the sunlight, about to board a flight and around me I kept seeing planes taking off into the skies. The mood was all happy and calm and then I looked to my right and the Eiffel Tower appeared out of nowhere? Then I got on my plane?

Last night, I dreamt that a guy I know, who was being all lovely, all smiley, all happy…Well, he got down on one knee, and proposed to me. He put a silver band on my wedding finger and had a matching one on his wedding finger? Again, the mood was all lighthearted and peaceful. Everything just felt so perfect?

I either need to stop drinking before bed time or these dreams mean do actually mean something? I’ve stopped looking them up now….I never dream? Why am I dreaming so much?

Other than that, It’s a busy time in Wunna Land. I’m kinda just getting my ‘kitten concentration’ on, to focus on it all for a bit, as i’m rubbish at organizing things, schedules and everything in between, when it comes to my own world. I’ll just dance off with an afternoon cocktail in my hand, gleefully…. which is the bouji version of burying your head in the sand,’ when everything comes at once.

YIPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEE!

I could do with a cocktail now and it’s only 10.47am.

Slippery slope…

(Yet, luckily a slope that i’m used to…Free slide anyone?)

Yesterday evening, I managed to ‘tipper’ and a ‘tinker’ and once I did, in a flash, I had ‘penned’ into my schedule….and officially booked something in. (This is why I’ve always said that my soulmate needs to be of an organised nature. I’m quite obedient, if I don’t have to deal with the ‘faff’ of things.)

So, in April, I’m looking forward to heading down to see Kwoklyn Wan, at his deliciously divine restaurant, in Leicester, for a bit of jolly filming and blogging, as he teaches me how to cook things, for your absolute ‘social’ delight. I’m a cheeky little thing, so it will be sprinkled with that infamous Wunna Land charm.

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He was actually on ‘This Morning’ a couple days ago, with his little brother, the ever famous Gok Wan, teaching Holly and Phil how to whip up some whirlwind wantons, as he is the ‘MASTER’ of making the most delicious Chinese Street Food.

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April…(and I think he’s actually filming a documentary at that time)….I will be embracing all this Asian with him, as he teaches ME…how to be a Wanton Master! We’ll be doing a video, that you’ll all get to watch and along with a blog, I’ll be ‘socially’ sharing my behind the scenes with you.

I’M SO EXCITED!

See! A little ‘being organised‘ does you some good!

Right now, I’m trying to swizzle everything together for the CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM advert. Organizing the location, outfits and themes etc…is quite difficult. But I know what I want and I’m gonna be working with Jake Logan (who’s simply great.)

Let me tell you….The advert is going to be oozingly dripped in an actual mind blowing swirl of sexuality. It’ll be ‘kitty femme’ at it’s utter finest. It’s there to tell a story, it’s there to advertise the blog, socially. You’re not even going to know what to do with yourself afterward! 🙂

IT IS GOING TO BE ON FIRE!

We’re both really excited to film it. It can’t come quick enough. Organizing it, is actually stressing me out. But if it all goes well…They’ll be lots more adverts.

I have two shoots booked, that are coming up shortly, followed by content shoots for my ‘socials.’ Right now, i’m not finding enough time to fit everything in. Yet, I’m really lucky, so I’m going along with it all. I’m smiling and i’m winking.

I guess, sometimes things feel tough…Yet ‘tough’ is only temporary. Once you pick it up and handle it, it dissolves and becomes easy. So, i’m staying hopeful and enjoying the work that I love.

I had something else to tell you, but I can’t remember it?

SHIT! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! For Gods Sake! I even have my specs on! It’s meant to make me smarter!

No..Mind’s gone blank.

Oh Wait??

…Nope…Minds gone blank. 🙂

Anyway, everything’s great. Lost my mind. But everything’s great. I’m excited to finally get my teeth fixed. I’ve got to organise picking up the new whip. I’ve also got to organise getting a new tattoo, which i’m actually quite nervous about. I tried to talk myself out of it…But i’ll message them today and book in a ‘go see’ date…The reason why I need to do that is simply because i’m scared. The only way to solve fear, is action right? So i’m gonna smash it about, like a human dynamo and get it all sorted.

All of the above are ‘collabos’ with brands and businesses and if life is about living and adventure, then I’m the luckiest kitten in the world.

I’m still building….But something tells me, that good things are going to happen! (I dreamt of planes taking off!)

PLUS….

I HAVE A SURPRISE A COMING UP….

Some of you won’t actually like it, but lots of you will. And believe me, I have an actual internal FEAR bubbling inside me because of it.

Thank you for following my version of life!

Big Kisses,

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PJ Skating, My Insta Pics & Ghost Pirates

I’ve just got done shimming alongside a bit of ‘Dancing On Ice’ where I skated around my living room laminate flooring, in my socks and pj’s, under the distinct misconception that I WAS some kinda ice Goddess. (I can’t skate for celery sticks.) But it puts you in the mood, doesn’t it. Makes you feel all wonderous and elegant. All divine and glamourous. Did it all with a Desperado in my hand. I think I made it ‘swag.’

I’ve had a weekend to myself with my family. It’s been weird, because with all the family ‘stuff’ that’s been going on, with my Grandma etc……(it was the funeral Friday,) my system took a shock.

No not a shock? How can I describe how I’ve felt…? I’ve felt like i’ve mentally been rummaging through the bottom on my handbag, trying to find that five pence piece, that you really need for the parking meter, that you definitely know is in there somewhere, yet you can’t find it anywhere.

(Wait…some strange guy has tagged a picture of himself on my Facebook wall…and also tagged 39 other humans in. Why do that! I hate it when people do that! Would you ever? I mean, I get self promo..but Jeeze…don’t do that. It’s bad manners..and I hate poor social etiquette. Lol) 

Anyway, I needed two days of ‘losing my mind’ and filling myself with anxiety…Lol…and now…I’ve come through the tunnel and i’m back to my positive self. I’m feeling great again.

YIPPPEEE!

Which means…when you have a case of ‘da blues‘…in may case it was bereavement….FEEL IT because you’ll get over it much quicker ..but then ‘snap out of it’…take the time that you need, but try not to dwell on it…I started to see the positive in everything…and it feels so wonderful…should I say ‘WUNNA FUL’ to be back. 🙂

My bounce back ability used to be much faster than two flipping days! Must be my age. Lol. In LA, it would be around 14 minutes. 🙂

(All your messages and comments have been great. i’ve read them all and replied to every single one i’ve managed to catch. It’s really made my kitten soul feel dandy! I thank you so much for that! Oh and if you won a video message/personalised photo with my SCREENSAVER COMP…I shot them today, so you will have them soon..) 

So today, I posted this pic…on my Instagram, my Facebook Fan page, my stories, my Snapchat…my everything…Not on my Twitter though for some reason?

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And I love this pic. I think it’s sexy, it tells a story and it kinda makes you use your imagination…evokes your inner ‘creative.’ That’s something that I hope to inspire in others. I want to encourage people to EXPRESS. I want to encourage the entire world to keep a diary…and if not in written word, or a blog, a vlog, or anything inbetween…an Instagram profile, still…to me…counts as the ‘picture diary’ of your life…

Obviously ‘Wunna Land’ is doing pretty alright now…;) (thanks to you.) However, I’ll tell you that I TRULY believe that something does well out of love and passion, hard work and dedication. What makes me feel good about writing this blog, isn’t about a bit of fame and a little bit of fortune…(maybe a bit of fortune 😉 ) it’s the simple fact, that I LOVE documenting my life, telling you how I feel…I have a genuine love for ‘diary writing’ (everyone in my family, even the kids, keeps a diary.) I’ve done it for almost 10 years now, all over the world…and done it out of love.

I love that it connects people…and that humans, from all walks of life, from all over the world (like you NOW)…. I like that you all *click* on chrissiewunna.com and for that second, you’re all connected via Wunna Land.

It’s a trip! It’s crazy!

Anyway, one of my chick friends, who was with me early today, before meetings, sat on my bed and watched me post the above picture…and said…

Friend: ‘It’s so weird, to see you post that pic right now, when you’re sat here sat in a bra and pj bottoms, with a poached egg sandwich..’

Me: ‘Why? Lol. It’s still me…’

Friend: ‘Haha…yeah, I know you idiot. It just that, I think that if people didn’t actually know you in real life…Like if they haven’t met you, or they …I don’t know, you’re personalities just really different to that picture…’

Me: ‘What? In a bad way?? Pass us my coffee…It’s on my dresser…’

Friend: ‘Like in a pictures…you look all sassy and moody and sexy…Y’know…all stuck up and high maintenance…and…’

Me: ‘Awww! Cheers! Lol.’

Friend; ‘No. Hahaha! In real life, you’re all funny and warm and giggly and I don’t reckon people would think that…They wouldn’t know that about you… They’d either get the wrong impression and if I was a guy and looked through your pics…I’d find you intimidating…’

Me: ‘Good job I don’t have to date you then… Why are you not passing me my coffee?? Yeah, I get what you mean…I get it. I did used to be a properly good glamour model….Lol’

Friend: ‘Shut up Wunna…’

Me: ‘It’s like being an actor…Just because you play a role for a picture, doesn’t mean you ARE that role… I love my pics. Tomorrow, I’ll post a dead smiley one just for you…’

Friend: ‘Really?’

Me: ‘No. I’ve already shot it. It’s sassy. Haha. Stop trying to make Wunna Land about YOU. 🙂  Get your own land.’

Then we bought more coffee and did Sunday. I love Sundays, they’re my favourite day ever, because for me, I associate it with ‘chill time. I love to relax. I handle ‘busy’ with panache…But gosh, I adore the art of ‘chilling.’

I’ve just read a story online about a woman who had MARRIED A 300 YEAR OLD GHOST, of a PIRATE??? She apparently committed to such wonder, because she was absolutely sure that she would never ever find a decent man to love her, the way she truly wished.

That is TOTALLY a much SEXIER version of the ’80 year old, lonely cat lady’ tale…

I say..

‘Good on ya!’

I mean if she wants to marry a PIRATE GHOST then go for it. I actually think there’s probably thousands of people in a lot WORSE normal marriages than that! Lol.

I might try it…

(I love that someone has just commented on my Facebook Fanpage…Tried to compliment me by tagging my name in the ‘comment’ section, before his sweet words…BUT INSTEAD, he’s tagged the wrong name and it says the name of an entirely different ‘Chrissie.’ )

HAHAHAHAH!

All he’s typed is..

‘Oh my *insert the wrong Chrissie here*…’

And then followed it up with all the best emojis. There’s a kissy face, flames, a rose, heart eyes…everything…

The other ‘Chrissie,’ who spells it  ‘Chrissi’ has responded with a

‘That’s not me… Lol.’

Nothing is better than the wrong tag…Like when I accidentally tagged a half naked picture of myself as ‘Chrissie Hynde’ instead of myself…But forgot to remove it…. and when I accidentally sent my Mum a naughty text…:)

Ooops!

Let’s all marry GHOST PIRATES.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inbox Poems, Diets & Showbusiness

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Let’s at least try and start the year positively, right? I’m currently sat in a local pub blogging with a freshly bubbled prosecco and i’ve been scrolling through all my feeds.

Ooh wait….I have a message…

Firmonnell: ‘Why didn’t you come in then??’

Me: ‘You were talking to someone in neon and just looked busy. I’m at the pub now.’

Anyway, I’ve been scrolling through my feeds and gosh….HOW MUCH drama can every human in entertainment shimmie into 2018 with.

If you’re not in entertainment, I’ll tell you, during THIS TIME of the year we all (and I say ‘we’ as I am certainly included in all of this,) but we all hit the *panic button* because we all need to find attention, build attention and push the career a fresh…make our mark and make our money. We worry that we’re going to tinker through the year without making all of our merry dreams come true and we wrongly think that we have to SLAM IT in January to prove that we can start the race well.

ALL THE PANICS

In my ‘older and now wiser’ mind, it’s not a race. It’s not about where you start, it’s where you finish and your journey to the finish line is essential, as that is what makes you. Everyone tends to see the ‘success’ part of the ‘hoo haa,‘ yet forgets to see the journey it took for that person to get there. (We won’t you to see both.)

So as I scrolled I saw the ‘flashes,’ the ‘go getters.’ (Which is all fine, as it’s what the business of ‘show’ is about. There are the ones that play the ‘fame game‘ the ones that only focus on doing the one thing that they love and the ones that capitolize on both.)

But gosh, everything from Logan Paul already having to apologize for his behaviour and we’re only three days into 2018. Whey didn’t he just sit in a bar with a prosecco and chill a second?

If you are unaware of what he did, well…that’s a good thing. I do feel sorry for the poor boy, yet when you push the line, for attention…there is always backlash. I don’t think he expected it to backfire the way it did and I do think that he knew and still knows what he was and IS doing. It was in poor taste and well he ran on an excited energy, for a lot of ‘look at me,’ rather than using his nogging. It worked…negatively.

SIX MILLION views later…and Logan is forced to ‘say sorry’ and attempt to make it right to save his career.

We’re THREE DAYS IN! Rein it in!

Then all sorts happened, Paris (as in Hilton)…I am a product of the Hilton Brand, after tinkering off her ITV2 show, she is now engaged, with her $2million dollar ring and her ‘looks really happy to have found her soulmate’ video…The Jena Frumes/Lingard story….popped out of nowhere…(I can’t decide if it’s a PR stunt or a real life bit of pokery?) If it’s real…then he’s pretty stupid, young, far too horny or blind. If it’s a stunt…then it worked.

And just last night….Celebrity Big Brother began…filling the news with the opinions of showbizzy types…Katie Hopkins made her usual ridiculous remarks about transgender ladies, just to play her role of the villian…and already in that world, a couple days into 2018…Showbusiness has gone ‘cockaleaky,’ and i’ve already been called a ‘bad role model’ by a lady on Twitter who makes machines for the NHS…incase she ever found me on her CBB screen.

Hurrah!

It’s made me need a chill and a wine…and search for a wink of normality. I even messaged all the normal people that I know this morning, just to make sure I was still safe and sane. If anything, I adore peace. I adore the business of ‘show’ yet it’s all about balance for me. I can do both. Lots of people can’t.

So i’m going to use my little bit of kitten voice for all that is positive! 2018 is all about good vibes, love and that cosy bit of energy that leads you to your happy place. A place where you love what you do, adore what you have and believe in what you stand for…and what you stand for..INSPIRES.

I’m gonna start off with this..

I woke up this morning, still in my nighty, checked my inbox email and found the most beautiful poem from a fan…What I love about this person is the simple fact that on Instagram the evening before, he had commented, stating that he would write me a song or write me a poem. The next morning, it was in my inbox.

I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE STAND BY THEIR WORD.

It’s so attractive, because so many people, say SO many things and don’t actually mean what they say at all. You know they don’t mean it, because they never ever ‘action’ it.

(Oops hang on..I’m getting distracted. I’ve got quite a lot of things to promote and i’m trying to get through everything over the next couple of weeks. The powers above keep messaging me and dumping parcels infront of me with smiles…)

Anyhow, Here is the poem: (How Thoughtful, right!)

‘Chrissie Wunna

Always believe you’re worth it

Practice makes perfect
So beautiful but yet hardworking
Not a dumb blonde that’s only interested in twerking
Chrissie Wunna
Such a stunner
Light up anywhere like the sun in summer
You’d look good in any number
I feel you have sharp intellect
I wonder what is your main interest
When you die that’s the time to take a rest
Remember to save n invest
Towards your future will leave you feeling truly blessed
Don’t take no disrespect
Never expect
Think carefully what you accept
Stay away from fuck boys
Who try play girls like toys
You’re special
Got the right credentials
Very essential
A man would be proud for you to have their last initial
Wife material
Imagine waking up in the morning chilling drinking tea whilst you eat your cereal
Nice smile
You got alot of style
Dress elegant
Manners are excellent
You run a tight ship within your own regiment
Like a veteran
Chillin wid the folks counting benjamins
Celebrate life cause all you do is win.’

That is one of the first things I read today and it filled my soul with delight. What a lovely person. It made my day! (AND he rhymed ‘Wunna’ with ‘Stunner’ and referred to money as ‘Benjamins.’ That’s double points. I have the best fans! 🙂 AND all my chick friends are accidentally blond, so I like that he called them a bit ‘dumb.’ Hahaha. (If you’re my chick friend and a brunette… My apologies..I’ve forgotten about you of recent. :). All the points! Yes I win…..

You are SO THOUGHTFUL.

Thoughtfulness is so sexy. From the bottom of my kitten heart.

THANK YOU.

(Oh!! AND TO ALLEN, who sent me the flowers! THANK YOU.)

It actually put me in a really positive mood and after reading all the rest of your messages….(and I couldn’t thank you enough for all the love I’m receiving, as you really are making me smile, you really are making my day..) I sorted myself out, made a few phone calls and got back on the deliciously clean ‘straight and narrow.’

Well..that’s after I watched the trailer to ‘Fifty Shades Freed! It looks amazing.I’m totally obsessed. Yes to Mrs Grey!! I can’t wait for February to go watch it with my ‘NO DATE. ‘ Ugh! Why can’t Christian Grey be real? Even if he was…he’d probably opt for not dating me, which would be somewhat awkward. 🙂

I thought everyone loved the Orientals?

I am starting my fitness plan next week. There’s an inappropriate ‘jiggle’ to my wiggle’ right now. I adore my body. I do. Don’t get me wrong. But at 37, after two babies…and a delightful Christmas of cocktailing and eating everything, my body is far too ‘playground’ as I like to call it. There are far too many juicy bits, that should be a little more… tame.

So yes, the diet starts now…The fitness plan begins next week…and who have I gone with to get my kitty self into shippy shape…The one and only, cheeky chappy Joe Wicks…The Body Coach. Millions of you are already following him, so I really don’t need to tell you to. We had a Twitter ‘Morning/Morning’ this morning…meaning I am now read to go.

In 90 days…He will be responsible for any ‘good’ that my body goes through. So, if i look banging…I’ll let him take the credit. On a less funny note…I am sincerely inspired by him….and I really hope you are too!

Wish my sorry ass LUCK.

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Boo Tricka Hoo & Fitness Guru’s

Hey! Cheeky Boo’s! Happy Halla’s. (That’s meant to be cute talk for Halloween. As in, Boo ‘tricka’ Hoo talk. J ) Now, I’m not someone who can be bothered to celebrate Halloween. I mean, I do it for the kids. But let’s face it. When you’re thirty six, a Glamour Puss, with a cocktail schedule to fit in…You really can’t be arsed to walk around the chilly breezed streets, dressed as a suggestive looking pumpkin, or even bob around to your mate’s, mate’s shindig to sip Prosecco, with lunatics. Lol. I’m casually building an empire. I can do Halloween some other time. 😉 The only pumpkin’s I want to see are ones, carved for me, in the comfort of my own home that are casually filled with rum….with straws.

Anyway! I have a lot on. My life is completely changing. I’m feeling really powerful. I’m feeling all W.O.M.A.N. I’m a bit SASSY today. Yet, i’m going to blame it on Halloween and the Dark Side getting me. (Even though I can’t be arsed to celebrate it.)

Things are exciting. Really exciting. But I will say that away from the excitement,  there are extremely long moments where in which one of my best chicks friends ‘Fairytale Blond’ are submerged utter boredom. (I don’t know how we’re getting through the weeks, but we are…with smiles and probable evening wine.) Don’t let dullness sponge its way through you. Change your environment. It’s really bad for you and gives you wrinkles.

I cannot TELL YOU, how utterly important I think it is to DO WHAT YOU LOVE. I say it all the time, I know. But just listen…again. J I’m always one to believe in just being brave and going for it, as you really have nothing to lose, other than lost time. That’s all you have to lose, when you look at the big picture. Happiness and success…and all that jingle, only really happens when you commit to doing the things that you love. And I don’t just mean that in work. I mean that romantically also. It makes such a huge difference. So take a look around yourself today and see whether you’re in ‘Zone Happy’ or just settling because you have to. If you’re just settling, or not working towards something magical that makes you smile…then that’s you done. You might as well ‘grey’ button yourself out for a while, until you wake up.

My New Year is going to rock with shimmie bells and simply because I became brave, stuck a feather in a cap and went with ‘galloping’ to ‘dreams come true.’ (I’ve glamourised that. I don’t gallop.)

But for example… ‘Hustle Barbie’ spoke to me before the weekend, across a desk, with files by her side and said,

‘I don’t know what to do? It’s like I need someone to make my decisions for me.’

Me: ‘You do know what you want to do. You’re just scared to. Which actually DOESN’T make you indecisive. It just makes you a scaredy cat.’

Fear is awful. Don’t do it. It gives you a stress rash. No one wants a rash that begins with ‘Stress.’ Infact, no one wants any rash really, it goes badly with cocktails and first dates. ‘Double B’ currently has thrush, after recovering from tonsillitis. Lol. Normal people wouldn’t then suggest that ‘being a stripper’ might possibly be a better money making’ option for her.

Me: ‘What???? Yeah, best stripper ever! This one comes with THRUSH and Tonsillitis. £20 a dance! Haha.’

Away from that, last night after reading Junior his bed time story. He went for Hansel and Gretel. When I say read, we kinda only watch the ‘read for us’ story together on his tablet. Lol. But he loves it, so that’s all that matters. He adores me laying next to him for a love and a cuddle. I adore a love and a cuddle too with Baby Junior also. It’s bliss.

But anyway, when his little eyes surrendered to sleep. I tucked myself into my own bed, turned out the lights and like everyone began to scroll through my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Great tool for catching up with what is going on, secretly stalking the people you fancy, promoting yourself and LEARNING. I love to learn. But only the things I want to learn. 😉

After Googling a whole bunch of people. (I’ve noticed that I never Google myself now. I used to always Google myself.) Anyway, I ended up cyberlanding in the world of Joe Wicks. Done pretty well for himself, hasn’t he! What an amazing. What a talent! He’s built a big old social fitness empire, that has developed into utter success, tv and riches, via the fine art of inspiring others to be fit and healthy. Great guidance occurred before the magic happened. Welcome The Body Coach.

I read all about him…Infact, I was so inspired, I almost signed up for his 90 day fitness plan.  If he can get ME to almost dedicate my life to fitness (eating lean I can already do) than he’s  GODLY. I wish he did the low calorie cocktail version of his plan though. As i’m not sure it caters for Glamour Pusses. His fitness video is all shirtless and lunges, as you jog on the spot. A favourable routine that gets you results. My fitness video would be shopping in stilettos and stopping to LIFT your cocktail glass every 3 seconds. Great for the arms and the soul? If I sign up to his plan. I’m gonna need support. Lots of it. If it actually get through it…then I’ll label him a genius. I’ll leap to his offices and ‘Pineapple Dance Studios’ high kick in glee.

(I then Googled exquisite heart shaped diamonds. 😉 I loe a bit of Dalby Diamonds.)

Right! I’ve got to get ready now….I’ve got to get to work. But this Friday i’m in Leeds, Trinity Leeds, with Candy Mechanics…Where i’m going to be turned into a chocolate lollipop for kicks! I know! I love it. I’m so excited! I’ll tell you more about it when I get home…

Godda dash….

 

 

In the Name of James…

I’m back! Sorry! I’ve been so busy working. Luckily towards the end of the year, it all pans out beautifully and I will finally be able to delight in having more time to do what I love…which is to tell my story…and blog!

I don’t even know where I ended up last. But since then my fabulous gay friend Liam ended up on my telly and I watched him tinker his looks on ‘Body Fixers’ on E4, to change a look that the masses believed resembled ‘Alan Carr’ to just ‘Being Liam.’ The thing about Liam (and I am quite close to him) is that he is a really talented entertainer. He plays it down well. But when I once went to watch him do his Cabaret type shimmies in Blackpool, I was astounded at how talented an entertainer he actually is. I guess, it’s always a surprise when people play things down. But as we know. I adore a talented human. It doesn’t matter what they do, I’m delighted by talented beings.

Anyway, on Monday, he invited me down to Viva Blackpool to be part of raising awareness and raising funds for the James Bulger Memorial Trust. It’s a charity really close to my heart, as being a Mum…I honestly can’t imagine how Denise (who is the mother of little James Bulger,) not only stays so strong, yet has managed to turn her personal experience, that the ENTIRE world would regards as heart breakingly tragic, into something so selfless and positive, in order to help others who may go through the same. I met Denise that night and she beamed at me with a smile and a warmth that was nothing short of true compassion and strength. It was such an honour. It was humbling.

The event was star studded! I’m a huge music fan. I’m a huge musical theatre fan also. So a gigantic show was put on, filled with the most heart racing talent…I mean I watched Lydia Lucy from The Voice (words cannot even describe how amazing her voice is), Connor Mckenna from Pitch Battle, Gary Barker who is currently on this years XFactor and The Jersey Boys, who you can’t help but fancy…You couldn’t even pick one NOT TO FANCY! Those boys can harmonize around me ANYTIME, in those fitted red blazers and squeezy tight dress trousers.  It was just a star studded swirl of Viva magic…Dinner, drinks…and an ambience that sizzled with life, love and sequins. (I totally had Pina Coladas. It felt very Pina Coladary.)

Anyway, the trek to Blackpool (even though I’m Northern) seems quite lengthy, it took hours. But I ended up getting there in time, working out on the promenade and dolling up to glamour puss in it in the name of James Bulger.

I was meeting Lisa (as in Appleton) there, who I’ve known for quite a long time now. In 2009, we were on TV shows at the same time, so we also know the same people. (We all did the circuit at that time) I am actually really good friends with Rex who was trapped in the Big Brother House with her during that time.

Her tyre busted en route to the event, so she ended up being late, so I totally stole her room at the New Osbourne, which was beautiful and laden with fluffy fresh sheets, champagne and a teddy bear! I know! How cute. I love it there. The service is impeccable. I’m a service girl. 😉

But when she arrived, and ‘Aaron the Pap’ had *papped* away during our entrance, we had the best time ever.

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We’re both Northern, we both know fun and how to have it,  we’re both the type of gals who see life as the ‘big picture.’ I remember speaking to her in the loos, as she produced a sassy bottle of cider from her handbag. (You know you’re northern when that happens.) Infact she chose the size of her handbag based upon it’s ability to hold cider. Lol. Anyway, the thing about Lisa is that she’ll talk about anything openly and I love that about her. She’s a really good soul and a person that never takes advantage of anyone. She’s giving. She gentle. But certainly not a push over. I like her a lot…and she delights in my glamorous HONESTY. 🙂 I had some of that cider and laughed along with her. I mean, a lot of people say a lot about her. She’s in the press almost every day. Yet when she’s 80, she’ll be able to look back upon her time and laugh, knowing that she lived and that she had the best time on Earth ever.

Liam, Lisa & Ryan Mira (who is her PR,) infact the lot of them…all shimmied off to ‘Peek a Boo’s’ after the event for a night of absolute ‘Drag Queen ‘ debauchery. I love a Queen. I used to ‘Piggy Back’ them outside The Abbey in LA, in my 20’s. Useful form of transport really. I was dating one of the bartenders at the time…and it was strange because my ‘Queen’ transport fancied him too. Lol. My transport secretly hated me. I thought she was a bit whippy around the corners.

As per usual, like everyone does, they tried to make me ‘Peek a Boo’ it with them, with a ‘We’re only going to be another hour, come on!’ (I’m lame now. I love to do cocktails etc and wink the night in luxury and glamourousity…But I don’t stay out. I like to go home, go back to the hotel and just go to bed or chill. Lol. I’m awful for it. Even my friends know…Once i’m done…and it’ll always be earlier than everyone else…I’ll just leave to put my comfies on.  Haha.)

Yet away from that, I’m so wise to the ‘we’re only gunna be’ line, that I should have it embroided onto my frillies.

Straight away I called my own taxi back to The New Osborne, because I knew I had a really early start in the morning and had to be up and on a six o clock train to Leeds for work. I went to bed around midnight….Snapchatted everything. Set my alarm for five o clock in the morning….(I kinda woke up every hour and didn’t sleep that well. But you do don’t you, when you know you’re away from home and need to be somewhere early. When you need to catch trains and all that jizzle.)

AAAANNNNNYWAY….Team ‘We’re only going to be an hour’ ROCKED BACK TO THE HOTEL at FIVE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING, as my ALARM went off for ‘Wake Up.’

It actually sounded like they had the best time…They were laughing out loud and I was sliding out of my fluffy sheets with this random teddy bear, to get showered and do my face, after a nights sleep.

I was at the station and on the train as soon as their heads hit a pillow. Ofcourse my train got cancelled and I had to get on the 7.11am one instead, so I just sat, on my own, at a train station in Blackpool at six o clock in the morning chilling….

By 9am, I was back in Leeds and off to work. Lol.

I actually scrolled through Twitter quickly and saw that we were in The Mirror… and infact the Daily Star…

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Great times! Good fun! Amazing people. And more than anything, an evening dedicated to such an important and such a good good cause, the James Bulger Memorial Trust!

My heart honestly goes out to all Mums, children and families, who are going through or have been through the same….There was a lot of talent there and the place was celeb packed, but what an absolute honour to meet Denise Fergus, (James’ Mum) who couldn’t be a more positive soul. Watching her strength, gives you an immediate reality check and inspires you to reunite with your own inner Hero.

 

 

When I Tinkered to Gino’s Harrogate….

Last night I did Gino’s in Harrogate.

I mean, everyone knows that I am a regular adorer of the Gino D’Acampo restuarants. The Leeds spot is one of my favourite haunts. You can always find me at the Prosecco bar, with a hair toss, a wink and that good old saucy banter.

Infact, I love everything that is going on in Leeds right now, as it seems the city is being sprinkled with new life. We are hosting some of the most stylish and creative bars in the North. And when you’re Blogger/Socialite nothing could be MORE DIVINE. My niche is ‘bouji’ and bouji is now right on my kitten door step.

But wait, yesterday I decided at the very last minute to tinker away from the darlings of Leeds, where life is laid back, yet wild and filled with what I call ‘Heels & Handsomes.‘ And instead, have a car drive me into Harrogate to celebrate the launch of the new D’Acampo restaurant, for their opening weekend. I like new. I like different towns and cities, fresh lifestyles, all social situations. (However not today because I feel rough. 🙂 ) Plus, I kinda wanted to just be somewhere different.

As soon I pulled, up, tottered in, adorning my little red dress and heels and as security pulled the door open for me….

WOW!

The atmosphere of that entire place was filled with live bustle and laughter and a stylish, yet devilishly delicious ambiance of ‘busy.’ It was glamorously packed and I was greeted with a smile, poured a Prosecco immediately and well like I said, I go to the Leeds Gino’s a lot, so I saw a lot of familiar faces who took a moment to show me around the new digs and introduce me to everyone and everything. I’d gone on my own. (I love going places on my own because it prevents you from being ‘cut away’ of everything and everyone and invites people to cross life paths with you. When you’re in a ‘click’ you stay within that ‘click’ and sometimes don’t see all that is going on around you.) It gave me the opportunity to mingle and chitter and really see, taste and hear all that was surrounding me.

To start with the place is huge, but filled with stylish excitement. From open kitchens to roof top terraces, where you can actually dine, look upward and have the sky blanketing over you. The DJ was playing. The upstairs prosecco bar was full of GQ looking Harrogate men and women who had either married well or made something of themselves. It was really bright on the roof terrace and I loved it. I felt free. Harrogate is a very different crowd to Leeds, everyone is distinctly more ‘showey’ and posher. Lol. They adore bouji but expect it. Things is not ‘laughed’ off in Harrogate….(I was stood next to a 20 something lady in the loos, who was moaning because she had to ‘wait for the loo’…There was literally no one infront of her…LOL..so she was kinda waiting for no reason at all, but forgot to check. Hahah! What an idiot! I simply smiled and opened up a door…She blushed and well I assume, went forth and wee’d. 🙂 )

Regardless, the staff at Gino’s that evening won everyone’s heart over with their impeccable service and Italian charm. Plus, they kept giving everyone prosecco. That helped. In fact that was HILARIOUS, because I was stood at the top of the stairs, in the bouji GAMES area, (yes it has one) which is right next to the glass windowed Private Dining room, which you can ‘curtain off‘ so the ‘riff raff’ can’t watch you ‘Lady & The Tramp‘ your pasta.

But OH MY GOD, I was chatting to people and watching Ladies and Gents play table football…well I watched an actual real life footballer  ‘Adam Clayton’ play table football against his ‘soon to be’ wifey and another guy, who was determined to win the game by impressive table football wrist action…

Sorry, i got distracted….

Anyway, whilst sitting at the top of the stairs… ALMOST FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, I watched a different glamourous human (HAHAHA, I’M DYING, IT’S HILARIOUS, YOU HAD TO BE THERE) walk up the first level of stairs towards me, SKID and SMASH INTO THE WALL (HAHAHAHA) because they had accidentally got SO DRUNK and the utter giddiness of all that was going on around them, had just got the better of them. Lol. It was so hilarious that it was almost like a PRANK STAIRWAY.

I started weeping with laughter…and funnily enough, when I did..they did to.

THEN OFCOURSE….The Gods got me…

When I tinkered up that glamourous baby blue lit stairway, I got onto the next level and realized the flooring was PURE GLASS. YES, a glass floor! YES. An absolutely delicious idea. Yes. You can watch all that is going on below you.

YES! I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

UGH! Lol.

I took them off because no one likes VPL line. Visible panty lines are weird and 90’s. So I had my little red dress on….heels…an espresso martini in my hand, a glass FLOOR and no knickers. Hahahah!

To be honest…I’m a confident girl. I’m not terrified of such a treat. I was almost delighted. It was a game in itself. Lol. I turned around and told every managerial looking body that I didn’t have any pants on….I told anyone who would listen and laugh, just for banter and then I committed to the cause and EMBRACED IT.

It is the funnest and most sauciest flooring I have ever seen. You should all go in short dresses and no pants and see if anyone catches you. 😉 After a few Prosecco’s, it’ll work wonders for any stale marriage. I was snapchatting and posting my entire time there and I got a HUGE Snapchatty/Twitter/Stagrammy repsonse to this picture…

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It got retweeted over five hundred times. Imagine if he looked up! Hahahaha! It’s a game you can all play. Don’t tell Gino I told you that. We’ll just keep it between us. 😉 Giuseppe won’t mind though. I’m sure he’d let me get away with a Wunna Land game.

Great night. Such wonderful staff. Strange Men kept coming up to me and asking for Selfies with me. But it was weird because they wouldn’t know much about anything ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ I wouldn’t think. Yet for some reason they kept wanting selfies? By this point I was sat at the downstairs bar, chatting to the the bartenders, who couldn’t of been more polite during what must have been such a stressful time.  The place was all ‘alive’ with ‘busy’ and to still be able to charmingly banter and whiz out every cocktail order under the sun with such panache…I mean LORD…How they coped I don’t even know. But they did and well! What a dynamic team!

Then…and now it’s almost 11pm, some guy struts up to me to try his luck with ‘The Glamour Puss.’ I wasn’t out looking for love. I was out to swirl madly in a glorious ‘D’Acampo bubble and just enjoy my night, in a new town before the clock struck midnight. (That’s when my car was picking me up.) I KNOW!! SO CINDERELLA OF ME.

He struts up all confident and like he thinks he’s got this in the bag…and simply starts telling me i’m beautiful and that he’s going to take me out and show me a good time in Manchester. (He said it like I has quite possibly never been out anywhere in my entire life before…) Infact, this was went down…(You’ve got the ‘beautiful’ blah, blah introduction lines…)

‘Where do you like to go. I’ll show to the best places in Manchester. I’ll take you out. Show you around. What places do you like? You’re beautiful.’ (Tries to hold my hand.)

‘I’ve done Manchester quite a lot. Yeah. I love it there. And well it’s less about where I go and more about who I go with…’

‘I LOVE THAT YOU’VE SAID THAT. You’re a DREAM. Give me your number.’

‘No. Nice try.’

‘I can give you the world.’

‘Why are you just pouring out line after line…’

‘Come to Manchester with me…’

‘Nah..’

By this point, he’s trying to ‘barmy smarmy‘ all the way around me, whilst trying to flirty touch me and impress me with ‘money talk.’ He does marketing and all sorts of things. Lol. Runs a company. Knows Steven Bartlett. Lol. He sort of resembled everything that I dislike about men when they try it on….and well…after drinks..I’m sassy one. I’ll let you know that i’m not interested.

AND let me tell you how good the bartenders where…I had been talking to them all night, so they knew I was there and why I was there…and as soon as they saw him ‘smarming’ about me personal space they clocked it to make sure the situation was okay. That’s sweet. Even the women next to me, where like..

‘Who is that dickhead.’

Anyway, he writes his number down and tells me to put it in my phone. I’m not even listening now and just flicking through various Snapchat stories. He’s so pissed he can’t even tell. Lol. But tells me that I can do whatever I want with his number. The ‘balls in my court.’

I just reeled off a mega bunch of extremely sassy ‘no thankyous.’ But he just found it more appealing. He must have, as most boys would then get it, right?

What he chose to do in that moment was

GO IN FOR A KISS!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

HAHAHAHA!

He tried to snog me and before he reached my face, I performed the most delightfully graceful version of the

DUCK AND WEAVE.

It was hilarious. He totally missed because I weaved around him..whilst still on a barstool and then his friends found him and took him home. Lol.

His friends: ‘I’m so sorry about that. We’re grabbing him now and getting him home.’

First of all, If I don’t like you, you probably shouldn’t try and smooch me in PUBLIC, without my consent. Lol. I will duck and weave and you will look silly. I mean, GOD I never kiss boys in bars. EVER! NEVER! Let alone strangers who I don’t fancy. LOL. At least he was confident. I’m always moaning that men hardly make the first move and chicken out. He certainly was no ‘chicken.’ He just chose the wrong ‘dream girl.’

Told ya, Gino’s got the better of everyone last night. It swirled into souls with magic and fun.

Then I got the..

‘Your car is outside ready’

text…and BANG ON MIDNIGHT!

And just like Cinders…after the best night ever….I thanked everyone for having me, cuddled staff ‘bye bye,’ left a gin and tonic on the bar, but ate the cucumber…(You know you’ve had enough to drink when that happens…) and with both ‘glass slippers’ in tact (Cinders leaving a shoe at the ball is beyond me, no one does that, she wasn’t in a rush, she was probably just really pissed and recovered from smashing into the upstairs wall ) and yeah…

…I left the ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

. I felt for them last night. It was a busy one! That operation was run like a dream. You saw headsets and power strutting, but not once did they ever refuse to *pause* and help someone who maybe looked lost. Lol.

All I remember seeing amongst the divine bustle was lots of gentlemen in tight white trousers and blue and white pin striped shirts, that was swirled amongst glamourousity and women who were waiting to see Gino. (He had been in Harrogate, went to Leeds and was due back in Harrogate that evening. He must’ve been SHATTERED. He’s currently at his Manchester restaurant. So shoot down if you want to catch him quickly. I left Harrogate at midnight last night and he was still going strong…and I feel as rough as a donkey. But saying that i did treat my delicate system to endless cocktail shaken espresso martinis and bubbly proseccos. I went for it. You only live once.

 

 

When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’ and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ 😉 Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. 🙂 )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it.  I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. 🙂 I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. 🙂

Speak soon,

Chrissie x