When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’ and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ 😉 Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. 🙂 )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it.  I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. 🙂 I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. 🙂

Speak soon,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! 😉

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day,  filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! 😉 I know! Wow wee!  *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… 🙂 , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

(I don’t know who chrissiewunna is..but it’s not me and i’m sure she is far more naked or chatty…lol So do make sure you add the right one.)

Tweet me: @chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Like my Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

 

When Chrissie Met Jack

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling

Friday morning of the Blog Awards and I threw everything into an overnight bag, from a toothbrush to a giant turquoise, sequinned  mermaid dress (I always pack light, because during my time in LA, I moved constantly. I hated having to carry everything with me and learnt to leave things behind, whilst always knowing that the lighter you packed, the quicker you could get away if you needed to. 🙂 )

Anyhow, I dashed to the train station and went from Doncaster to Kings Cross. It literally was a *whizz* of a train, but I’m used to travelling at a moments notice and what could be better than doing so with a much appreciated free gin and tonic and the Geordie announcement man, who kept telling really shit, yet excellently inappropriate jokes, that could’ve got him fired.

‘If you’re getting off at Peterborough…and GOD KNOWS why any of you would want to be getting off or going there…’ 🙂

Lol. Fuck it! You only live once!

That’s why I love travelling Virgin. It’s always so fun and you don’t actually have to be a virgin to the ride it. Who knew? 😉

So, most of the fellows who were headed to the UK Blog Awards that night, only had the Blog Awards to tend to. Lucky. I had two phone meetings on a train, a hotel business proposal, some guy trying to make me sign up to a reality show that I don’t want to do and then my delicious meeting the CEO of Yourfeed UK, Mr. Jack Parsons. (Look above. That’s him.)

So, let me tell you about Jack…Jack Parsons had asked to see me. The summons had come via Twitter and I was excited about it all, from the get go. It was a week after I had spent some time with Steve Bartlett at Social Chain (I was on the Everyday Steve Vlog) and after we fizzled through *busy* schedules, Jack and I managed to ‘diary in’ Friday April 21st for a meeting. I was kitty pumped. He’d read a lot about me and i’d read a lot about him…so I knew that tinkering through the busy London streets in my burnt orange (which was salmon) dress, my tippy tappy Gina heels, Little Mistress Faux Fur and rose gold clutch…was worth it. I had such an easy ride up there, so I knew that the meeting was going to be AMAZING. (I always judge how well my meeting will go, by the physical/emotional ‘temperature’ of my journey to it.  I couldn’t have had an easier journey AND my body was absent of wine. 🙂 )

I LOVE THAT DURING THIS BLOG MY LITTLE BURMESE MOTHER HAS WALKED INTO MY HOME, DASHED UPSTAIRS WITH EXCITEMENT AND JUST HANDED ME A PEN…

‘Look!!! Have you seen my SPERM PEN!!’

Lol. It’s a biro that has pretend sperm swimming in it, with the words ‘Happy Swimmers‘ printed upon it. And you all wonder why I’m might be mentally fucked? Haha! I love it. In her defense, she IS a sexual health Doctor…meaning a pen of that sort really is ‘the norm.’ Kinda like a diamond encrusted ‘bullet’ would be a regular fixture in my version of Wunna land. (Sorry, I’m getting a flashback of ‘Double B‘ telling me the story of how she once bought a ‘bullet’ got so excited and used it so incredibly madly, that she got ‘all the thrush.’ Lol. DYING!)

Shit. I’ve got distracted. I arrived in London. Platform 4? Everyone kept glaring at me. I checked into my hotel and took the easiest journey to 247 Tottenham Court Road to see Jack at Yourfeed UK, on what felt like the loveliest, most unstressful day ever.

Jack is one of the youngest and most inspiring CEO’s in Britain. (I seem to be meeting a lot of them recently, don’t I! You meet everyone for a reason)

He’s only 23…

Jack: ‘But I look fifteen…’

So Jack is currently being hailed as ‘The Prime Minister of The Millennials’ and a ‘Young Richard Branson.‘ Dashing titles aren’t they? Not bad for an inspiring, non smoking, non drinking, easy going, 23 year old CEO. But yes, he is on a big mission to connect 2 million young people to opportunities by 2010. It’s a HUGE challenge, but he’ll do it. I’ve never met a more SAVVY guy, who’s only 23 flipping three! And i’m not joking. I would never just say it. This guy knows everything he needs to know…and goes for it, with passion, skill and this confidence that proceeds him, yet it’s sponged in a humble kindness.

This Summer he is also doing a big ‘on the road’ Pledge tour…I want to be part of that! I’m in the mood to inspire…He totally said I could be. Booyah! *Wiggle Wink.*

Yet, at 1pm as I sat in what looked like a fun waiting room, with MTV playing on a wall mounted TV screen behind me, all the snazzy coffee machines infront of me, business reads on my lap, a ‘table footy’ thing to my right and variously placed giant cacti, surrounding a sign that read ‘HAVAS MEDIA GROUP..’ by lifts…there was a peace, a calm…a really positive, qiuet energy.

‘Hey, I’m Jack.’

(Holds out his hand.  Confident. Positive. Direct. Warm. I look up, stand up, shake his hand with a smile and follow him walking…)

‘Nice to meet you. Do I sound really common?’

‘Haha. No. I’m from Essex…’

‘I love Essex, It’s so bouji now. 😉 ‘

And that’s how it began…

He walked me to through the offices, whilst offering me a drink and led me to HIS office,

‘This is my gaff..’

…which had a fun brick wall, the word YOURFEED written in emojis and a naked Homer Simpson picture in the corner. Was he naked? Can’t remember? 🙂

A cuppa tea and a water were brought in…and life was great!

Straight away without fear, he sits back in his chair, grabs a black note book and pen and starts asking me direct questions, about my life…as he takes notes…and I loved that about him. He got straight to it. We’re both very different. Yet both dynamic and inspiring in our own special ways. He’s a lot more business savvy than I am. He’s real, he’s insightful, he’s inspirational and honest. He doesn’t wear a watch, he keeps things simple, knows how to work a crowd, build a crowd and is the most down to earth human ever.

HE LITERALLY KNOWS EVERYONE. All the most important people in all the land and they respect him for all that he has achieved and all that he is continually doing. He’s someone who CARES about what you’re doing…He’s a ‘tell it as it is’ kinda guy and is the first person in a REALLY LONG TIME, when it comes to business, to turn around, give up his time and offer to help me because he believes in me, finds Wunna Land interesting and just felt like helping someone…and for nothing in return, other than sharing his knowledge.

That’s special isn’t it! You don’t get that these days. Trust me. I know! Not only is that kind, but it’s also very clever…;)

Jack: ‘Now, I read that you don’t like really long winded stories…so I’m gonna cut it down and just hit the bullet points.’

( I liked that!)

He asked me about my story and we talked about my time in LA.

Jack: ‘What did you learn from living in LA?’

Me: ‘I learnt to hustle. It’s a town packed with the most determined and ambitious people in the world…and you have to figure out a way to get noticed, be talented and be able to get what’s yours! YET still be emotionally strong. I learnt everything I know about anything…in Hollywood, because I lived it.’

(And I did! I stiletto pounded that pavement. I worked. I hustled. I bustled. I modelled. I acted. I fell in love. Out of love. I lived!! Oh did I LIVE! But I began MY BLOG and wrote simply out of the love of expression…which 10 years later…would MAKE ME.)

He smirked. Sat back and with an..

‘I like you…’

He threw his his note book down on a desk..

‘I’m not taking notes anymore…’

and told me his story, where it all began, where it was now and where it was going to be headed, as he soon heads his passion Stateside, after championing the UK.

And from that moment on we just bonded, we just got along and work wise it felt great. It was a laugh. We chatted about everything. His work. My work. The work of other people. We laughed about it all. Laughed about ourselves. We told each other stories and HOW I DIDN’T TAKE GEORGE SAMPSON’S VIRGINITY and I called him ‘Royal’ as that’s how I expected him to be..

‘Royal? What do you even mean?’

‘Like a member of the Royal family! lol’

We pissed ourselves laughing.

But I was ASTOUNDED by how much this young guy knew about his world and business. I LEARNT SO MUCH IN AN HOUR AND A HALF  and i’m really not joking. It was genuinely one of the most helpful and inspiring meetings that I have had in…EVER! He’s that good! You would be astonished. I liked how savvy he was. I liked that he just looked at me, pissed himself…and liked me anyway. Lol.

But yes, he’s running Yourfeed UK. He has started a really great Vlog also. It’s real, it’s fun and simply excelling. I’ve started to really love Vlogs as they’re the future reality tv shows. I film the advert for my Vlog shortly…and can’t wait to start mine.

Jack: ‘Right, book back in my diary for again and i’ll help you…’

I’ve never met a more helpful business guy? I love people who I can learn from and we in that hour and a half, discussed so many ways where in which we could develop and improve chrissiewunna.com, into the ‘big time.’

He’s one of those business guys who follows through on his word. He stressed that to me confidentially.

‘If i say something to you. I will follow through with it… ALWAYS.’

I was bamboozled by how smart Jack was….and I respect him for that.

That was a great fucking meeting…I absorbed so much. I want to go on his Summer Tour.

Jack: ‘Can I just ask you something?’

Me: ‘Yeah…’

Jack: ‘You know you bought Steve that Gucci hat….

Me: ‘Yeah it was cool because i had written a blog about how it got to him and then he did a vlog, which showed the gift arriving on his desk..in real life…’

Jack: ‘Did you get you anything back, like he said he would…?’

I’d never really thought about it until then…but it stuck in my mind, as I left the office, *cuddled and cheek kissed* Jack a farewell…and then dashed back across London, back to my hotel to chill for a few hours, after a few drinks and a Mexican late lunch. I watched Real Housewives of New York and was reunited with my passion for Bethany Frankel. (My FAVE housewife of all time.)

Then I watched ‘Dinner Date’ which reminded me of my ‘Swirl.’ I can’t seem to watch it effectively without wanting to hear his banter beside me.

I used my chill time wisely, before slipping into my dress and heading to the UK Blog Awards…

I look forward to my next meeting with Jack…It was a really useful and insightful time…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UK BLOG AWARDS THIS MONTH!

In November, I was nominated for the UK Blog Awards, which is the official National Award Ceremony for UK Bloggers & Vloggers of all tips, types and categories. It’s a big glammy events that recognizes the nation’s best blogging talent….and yeah, ofcourse…That was enough for me to make me smile.

In December of last year, a shortlist went out, announcing the blogs/bloggers who had been nominated in their particular categories…I made the shortlist…I was over the moon…at that alone.

Then for 2 little weeks before Christmas…The shortlisted blogs were open to a PUBLIC VOTE where YOU could Vote for YOUR FAVOURITE BLOG or  BLOGGER.

Over 95,000 Votes were cast. (Crazy I know!)

Then like i wasn’t shocked enough…Those 95,000 Public Votes, ranked CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM...Yeah..ME in the TOP 8 ‘MOST VOTED FOR BLOGS’ in my category. (I even made the event it’self TREND on Twitter! WTF!)

I KNOW!! Lol. AS IF! 

(And I AM distinctly surprised. Do not think that I’m not in absolute ‘WHATNESS?’ You can ask my chick friends, I believed it because it was true 🙂 , but couldn’t believe it all at the same time.)

Long story short…

In February a panel of judges followed the chosen/shortlisted blogs throughout February. I forgot about that time! UGH! But was alerted when they had tweeted out that the judges had come up with their WINNERS and this included the blogs that had also been put through (Yes mine…As If…I Know) to win the Odeon Cinema ‘Content of the Year’ Awards!! Crazy!

So all I want to say right now, because it’s all out of my hands and I think i’m just so happy anyway, with my achievement with the Uk Blog Awards so far…There’s a lot going on in Wunna Land because of the accidental success of this blog. This year has been filled with ‘Dreams Come True’ and it hasn’t even started yet. I’m having to *pinch* myself at every point.

But I just wanted to say ‘Thank you..’ and I don’t mean that in a ‘Very Markety’ Thank You kinda way. I’m not like that. I’m the most straight forward, glamour puss you’ll ever meet. I’m not run by a Brand Manager. There’s no script. I’m just me…my life….my friends…my family…my world.

When i say ‘Thank you’ I mean it sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you….for reading my blog, following my life, checking in when you can, being a part of it all, appearing in Wunna land, voting if you did, offering to work along side me…all sorts… and yeah I write it and yeah…I must do it well. 🙂 *Wink*

But honestly, if you didn’t read it…no matter where you are in the world, there’s no way i’d be being hailed with a Cyber Crown. Thank you! It means a lot to me. I’m being called an ‘Overnight Success’ and there’s very big ‘tag lines’ attached to my name socially…

‘UK’s Carrie Bradshaw.’

‘Cyberlands Biggest Inspiration.’

‘Social Media’s Newest IT Girl.’

‘The Queen of Social Girl Power.’

SO, on Friday April 21st, I’m headed down to London. I actually have a meeting at around 1pm with a company and then that evening I’ll be all dolled up…as it’s quite a glamourous affair 🙂 …and I’ll be headed to the UK Blog Awards.

I KNOW, that I won’t win the award. I know that. I want to win it, very much so. But I know that I won’t…and I don’t expect to, as I obviously don’t have the kind of ‘squeaky clean’ content that wins public trophies. 🙂 LOL.

But I’m utterly honoured and well I always say, you kinda never know what’s going to happen? I could walk away with trophies! I could just get drunk and enjoy the night.

I stand by my content whole heartedly, because it’s the story of my actual flipping LIFE. Lol. It’s real. It’s raw at times. It can be a bit sweary, a bit naughty, very glammy…or just normal…but it really is what happens on a daily. And yes, it’s being seen as a modern twist for brands to come to market…

Yet essentially, it just started off 10 years ago, when DK the Barrista told me to start a blog on Myspace in that coffee shop in LA…I told him to ‘get fucked.‘ 🙂

But I obviously did it anyway….

 

 

We Should ALL Send More Flowers

I’m shattered! It’s a good shattered. But oh my pansies, I need a trip to the forest, to chill in a champagne twinkled hot tub, away from ‘the bustle’ of ‘all sorts‘ where I can just work quietly and do the things that I love, without drowning in my OWN freshly created work load. Lol. Becareful what you wish for, as you just might get it dolls! 😉 I just need peace and what could be better than the ‘hidden away in a the calming depths of the forest’ effect ..AWW! That would be BLISS.

I’m doing well. I’m doing really well. Yet, my mind is really busy. I’m almost doing too much for me to handle by myself now. Part of me thinks that I can’t juggle it, but my drive just tells me that I can…and I end up doing it anyhow. But gosh, THANK GOD FOR GIN AND COCKTAILS….I love you like I love Jimmy Choos, Diamonds and Sausage Sandwiches. 😉

I’m in a giant work swirl. It’s madness and on overload. I told you i’m shattered. But i’m a really lucky girl, as I have brands campaigns, collabos, marketeers. agents and all sorts flying in with opportunities galore right now. Well I always say I’m ‘lucky’ because i’m grateful for any person, who sits in their office and just has a…

 ‘Hey, that Chrissie Wunna, she’s amazing, let’s work with her,’ moment.

Yet if i’m being honest, i’ve worked my kitten SOCKS OFF for those moments to occur…I’ve been up since five o clock this morning, I’ve worked all day and i’ll be up until the early hours still smashing out press releases, potential business proposals, whilst replying to all that is incoming. (Thank you for all the incoming opportunities. I honestly appreciate it madly.)

Do know that all this is at the same time as being ‘Mum.’ I LOVE BEING MUM and I make sure that I have those simple moments every day, where in which I can keep grounded and still be in touch with life. The people who get lost in the work swirl, lose their soul. They forget their purpose and you can see it in their work, their manners, their blogs, vlogs and all sorts. You can see it in their eyes, their smile, their mind.

I’m lucky because i’m surrounded by great people every day who keep my glittery soul alive, BUT REAL. Lol. There’s no ‘pampering of the star’ as I like to call it in Wunna land. Hahah! I mean for fucks sake ‘Take Me Out Nick,’ (he’s pretty much one of my besties, even though he keeps offering me imaginary cups of tea, maybe his body and can’t be home when he tells me to pop over,) certainly referred to me as a ‘gimp’ today…and I’m definitely sure that ‘Double B’ told me to ‘fuck off’ just because I looked at her. 🙂

Yet at the same time, other humans (who are just as ace) called me things like ‘beautiful’ and ‘thoughtful’ which again reminds me that I’m not an absolute buffoon after all. 😉  I sent a girl (well it was Katie at Social Chain) flowers the other day, to thank her for being so lovely to me..and she received them yesterday, on International Women’s Day, with a message that read,

‘It’s the smallest things that make a girl smile” Thank you for having me. Love you, Chrissie x  www.chrissiewunna.com’

And I didn’t do the standard ‘call the flower shop, at the last minute’ bouquet thing. (Even though I love that too 🙂 because it’s the easiest way to get yourself out of trouble in an emergency. Are you listening boys???)  I went with my favourite flower delivery service ‘Bloom & Wild’ and because nothing is more delightful to me than hand picked, fresh cut flowers, that are specifically chosen for the person in question, boxed up and presented beautifully with grace, love and thoughtfulness. To me, it is the most simple, yet elegant way to say ‘Thank you’ and I personally think that MORE girls should be delivered surprise flowers. People don’t seem send flowers enough these days, do they? I want to see more of it in 2017.

I love great people and I love brands and ideas that are ‘old school’ with a champagne misted twisted of modern… I share them an awful lot with others. Pretty much because brands of that sort represent who I am.

Anyway…

I really wanted Katie to be sat at her desk, at work in Manchester and to ‘out of the blue’ recieve a surprise box that contained my fresh cut flower choices, for her and not just to say ‘thank you’ but to also make her smile at the same time…That’s what Girl Power is about.

She Tweeted me earlier this afternoon to thank me and as I read the Tweet out to ‘Hot Sarah’ (whilst complaining because someone had dropped cookies all around me) it genuinely made me happy just knowing that I made her smile. Even for just five seconds, she would’ve have cut away from her own version of work day ‘bustle’ to simply feel a moment of extra appreciation. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

More people should send people flowers. It’s lovely.

Right, it’s 10.30pm and I have what feels like a 100 emails to send out before I can actually get some shut eye. So I’m pouring a gin and tonic and getting on with it.

I forgot to tell you that ‘London Business Man’ (who I whatsapp weekly, we’re good friends now) had a car crash and ended up in hospital. He lost control of his car on the M1 and crashed into everything, as his car swirled around and smashed his head into windows. I’m in SHOCK. I can’t believe that happened!!! Yet he’s on the mend. I should send him rum.

‘Eton Mess’ (who is lovely, but I haven’t chatted to him in months) has found himself in The Maldives…He’s a natural adventurer and well one minute he was in Manchester, coming out of a stressful time romantically and the next minute he was enjoying life the way he always wanted to, swinging from palm trees and bathing in the sun.

You never know where life is going to take you….but enjoy it! I always always say …that I never know exactly what’s going to happen to me…All I do know is that it’s something wonderful.

 

 

 

Every Second Counts….

So, there I was on Sunday evening, about to fly off an email to Social Chain and JUST BEFORE I hit *send*….almost on some weird *cue* my phone *winks* at me with a Twitter DM.

Now, I’m on my phone a lot, yet when i’m working or blogging, I sort of ignore it and check it occasionally, because as right now, it’s kinda like a revolving digital, never ending, screen fountain of Instagram picture ‘likes,’ Twitter ‘favourites’….Messenger notifications..You know the score…

Anyway, at this precise moment, before I hit *send,* I just so happened to look to my right, down at my phone. It was laid on my bed next to me. I had Juvenile ‘Slow Motion’ playing in the background and I was sat in my bra, wishing that I didn’t EAT my way through February…and with a…

‘Hi Chrissie,

Just came across the work you’re doing! Love it.. You in London much…Let’s set up a date for you to come over to the Yourfeed offices in London..Drop me a note and we can set up…I’ll have my executive assistant have a car sorted from the train station to the office for you. Looking forward to it!’

And just like that…another life ‘side street’ was presented to me.  You never know what’s going to happen at any point. I’ve learnt this always through life. Good things. Bad things. All things! I have opportunities coming from everywhere right now. Some are *zapping* in from above at the speed of light, some are some moving like a tango, other’s are friendly and easy going and there are the ones who are to the point, without ‘faff’ and direct. It’s all money, brands, meet me’s and ‘work with me’s.’

I don’t know what’s happening? Yet the Chrissie Wunna glitter train is no longer *chugging* along on steady yet rickety tracks . It’s now being picked up by giants, sprinkled over with opportunity and flown to the stars like magic…fueled by this little thing called hard work. Well I say ‘hard work’…yet it feels like fun. My previous boss once told me to ‘WORK SMART NOT HARD.’ That stuck with me…The idea is to utilize yourself appropriately to make the most impact.

AS IF THIS FLIPPING ONLINE DIARY HAS GOT THIS CRAZY!

I remember being a kid in West Hollywood, walking into that bookstore every morning, on La Cienega and 3rd, talking to DK who made me coffee every morning and telling him about what I’d got up to the night before. He told me to start a blog on Myspace..and i refused to because I didn’t know what one was…Lol. But I did it…and 10 years later…I’m apparently a ‘sensation.’ 🙂

LORD FUCKING KNOWS, HOW I’VE MANAGED IT???

Yet, the great thing about me, even though i’m really aware of all that is ‘going on’ right now in my career…is that i’m STILL just that girl, who started to write an online diary because some dude at a coffee shop told me to.

Right now, i’m taking ALL the opportunities that I can…because it’s really just the beginning. I hope to build an empire. Did I always think it would happen? Honestly…Yes. Did I doubt myself…at times..yeah. But this year is the actual year where in which I have in my hands…I have it here…in my hands..I can feel it..and it’s happened because at the end of last year I began to knuckle down and focus…I spent my last year chasing boys and after selling myself short, realizing that there was a whole career that I wanted to pursue…and that I was wasting time on things that I didn’t really WANT…my mindset changed…I grew 10 feet tall…I hair tossed, I got my *game face* on, I slipped on a sassier set of heels and I fucking WENT FOR IT.

I’ve only knuckled down for about 3 months and so far SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. In six months….it’ll be even better…by the end of the year…even YOU’LL be shocked. Just so you know, I’m always shocked. I mean I stood infront of my chick friends today with an egg sandwich..

‘Ewww….as if you got egg that’s disgusting. You’re disgusting!’

…and with a shake of my head in confusion, in my faux fur, I just looked at them with a…‘I don’t even know how this has all happened’ face?

I feel lucky. Thank you for following my life. Thank you so much!

Everyone’s asking me about the UK Blog Awards. They’re in April. I’m going to them…OBVIOUSLY. Yet not one part of me believes that I will win it. They’ve already picked the winner…and I don’t know…something just feels like it’s not me. Infact, i had a conversation about this with Abeiku Arthur the other day, after getting back from Manchester that time we did Nandos and went for ‘after chicken‘ cocktails.

Big A: ‘You’ll win it.’

Me: ‘I won’t. I know I won’t.’

Big A: ‘I’m going to the Awards y’know. Are you staying over?’

Me: ‘Yeah. You do know that you’ll have to spend your awards evening listening to me BITCH at you repeatedly because I haven’t won. ..and i’ll be dripped in champagne.’

‘Yeah…and I’m fine with it. Lol. You’ll win it.Why don’t you think you will?’

‘Well…because everyone else’s blog is a serious factual, advice type blog…and well mine is just the story of my life…it’s a diary…’

‘That’s why you’ll win it. There’s not many chicks who just write a  diary that people all over the world READ every day…’

‘If I thought I was going to win it…I’d tell you. I’m not like that. I just know I won’t. But I deserve to. 😉 ‘

So, what i’m saying to you all is to hope for the best yet EXPECT nothing…because from what I’ve learnt in life so far, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN at any point. I’ve almost become immune to under feet ‘rug pulls.’ Embrace changes. Don’t be scared of them. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Look around you…Take a moment to look around you. Do you have everything the way you want it? Is this how you want to spend the next few years of your life? Do you want it to develop? Are you selling yourself short? Obsessing over the wrong things?Are you working your perfect job? In love with the right human? Are you being you? Do you feel AMAZING!!!?!!

If you do ANYTHING tomorrow, I want you to just take that *moment* where in which you *pause* look around you and monitor if you’re living life the way you utterly wish to be…

If you ARE…You’ve nailed it! 🙂

If you’re not…than things can only get better…YOU ARE the driving FORCE behind that change…Commit to it. Go for it! Make your dreams come true! Every second of everyday, someone, somewhere has had a dream come true. Why can’t it be yours?

Okay preach over….

Have rum and splash it in victory winks!

I love you.

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

I’m headed to Social Chain today :)

Wake up! It’s Monday! HURRAH.

Congrats to those of you who took the time to be bothered to get up, get dressed and get your sexy selves to work. You deserve boobie winks for that. (Have no clue what they are?) Bottom line…Without self motivation, you don’t have shit. Well done!

THIS MONDAY, I am the MOST EXCITED that I could EVER BE!! *Happy Dance here.*

And yes, I’m harping on about motivation, and getting a ‘move on,‘ HOWEVER i’m still sat in bra and knickers, with bouncy freshly rollered hair and a pink laptop on my knees….typing away. 🙂 But whatever, i’ve been up since six o clock doing my eye makeup and dressing the children for school. Lol. That alone is a days work.

The best thing about today, is that I DON’T have that shitty Monday morning feeling, I am bubbled over with ‘joie de vivre.’ I could even have a morning Mimosa and do *can can* kicks, if I could find the right music. 🙂 When things make you excited, you are on the right track. Everything is about how something makes you FEEL. Excitement…great feeling.

Today, I am headed to Manchester. I’m actually going to be in Manchester both Monday AND Tuesday, so i’ll be blowing *air kisses* to Yorkshire, as my train leaves the platform for now. I feel rested. I feel glammy…and yeah i’m feeling a bit chubby too, but i don’t care, as I’ve Skinny Tanned…so that helps right. 😉 Everyone is messaging me about wanting a waist trainer. Do it. Love it. Don’t have a ‘filth drawer,’ is my answer to you all. I mean what is sexier than CORSET TRAINING.

But cut all the crap…TODAY… I…. (yes, little glamour puss extraordinaire) HEAD DOWN TO SOCIAL CHAIN in Manchester! I KNOW! How exciting! I could *pop.* (As in ‘burst’ and not as in ‘sing you A1 tracks’ from the 90’s.)

Over the last couple months i’ve talked how much I LOVE Steve Bartlett and his Vlogs. He’s my favourite human. I send out that message ALL THE TIME. I’ve watch his Vlog develop. I’ve been hooked. I’ve watched them on appearances. I’ve watched them in bed. On the loo. I’ve made other people watch them in bars. Lol It’s the kind of Vlog,  (like this blog, ) that you accidentally discover…like treasure. You can come across it at any point of your life journey and when you do….you kinda get hooked and find yourself *tapping* into it all the time. The company & his merry self are pretty much on the route to stardom…

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They’ve been on the cover of The Times, filmed for HBO & Vice, Bartlett’s tinkered on a Power List…all sorts… I once Tweeted him, in my orange fox onesie and asked to head on down…(that sounds rude 🙂 ) ….He went with ‘yep,’ and well at 3pm, i’ll be tapping on their door.

This whole Steven Bartlett, Social Chain thing is popular, isn’t it? Everyone seems to be nattering about it. It seems sexy. It seems cool. I’ve actually known that I would be going now… for about a month… I’ve been listening to what people say about the Vlog, reading what they’re writing about it…and i’m smiling…as it’s clever, it’s fun…it’s pretty much a show. It IS a show.

I’m a massive fan of the of it all…the company, the people, the characters, the office…Steve….the slide…the bar…the dogs….their work….THE WHOLE KITTY SHABAM…..so my frillies are in an utter TWIST! I cannot wait!

‘Chrissie don’t wear that….you look like you’ve just walked onto the Vegas strip and not someones office…Lol.’

Mel: ‘Does he do rants? I’m sure I watched a Donald Trump rant on my newsfeed once and then nudged my friend and said that’s who Chrissie watches..’

I guess everything is like a sexy game of Chinese Whispers.

‘I wondered if they’ve actually read your blog’

‘Are you going out afterwards?’

‘The poor sods, don’t even know what they’ve let themselves in for!’

Basically, I’m *tapping* into THEIR world, THEIR Monday and TO ME, it’s so utterly SURREAL because what is MORE BIZARRE than watching a place and a bunch of people..literally every day, without them knowing…and then waking up one Monday morning and finding yourself *zapped* into that exact world. Crazy shit!

OOh! I’ve just got a message from Mel. She sent me a lovely one the other night, as I guess you’d never put us together as people who would end up being close friends…We’ve even shocked ourselves…Lol. But we’re ended up being close and I’ve found that we’re more similar than you’d think. But yes, she told me she ‘loved me.’ :) 🙂 Made me beam!

HAHAHAHAH! Wait!

This message is wishing me well for today and then all about blowjobs!

HAHAHAHA! I LOVE MEL.

Anyway…I’ll be Tweeting, Facebooking and Snapchatting everything and tomorrow there will be a big old blog on it all. So…keep up and add me to everything. Lol.

They’ve already made my Monday better…so hey….

Chick friend:

‘It can only go downhill from here..Hahahah!

WHAT A BITCH.

HAHAHAHA!

(That laugh was fake. 🙂 )

Ps: If you’re so behind on everything and don’t know what I’m talking about…Today you need to make it your mission to find out what Social Chain are…and who Steven Bartlett is….

Happy Monday! x

Cue: Alexandra…..

Birthdays, Chill Mode & Manchester on Monday

I think i’ve just let my body embrace ‘chill mode’ and this isn’t any normal kind of ‘chill mode,’ this is the ultimate, soft landing, let your world sink into deep relaxtion, as a release mode.

I feel like i’ve just jollied in from the LONGEST work week ever. I can feel it all in my back, all tense. All knotty. It was just one of those work weeks that just kept going and going, with early mornings, late nights…and not even nearly enough wine.

When my body is still ‘running’ it does the job and gets on with it. YET, there was just a moment, on Friday night, where in which I tip toed away from the bustle. (I’ve worked A LOT over the last week, but i’ve felt it? Friday was also Ruby’s birthday…She’s now SIX :)..so even at home, it’s been ‘go, go, go.’ People, plans, giddiness, all sorts.) But yes, I looked around me, at the bustle and I snook away for a second, to have a chill, just a little old lay on my good old bed. (Total Granny. 🙂 ) And as my utterly glamourous head, hit that extra soft, feathery pillow, almost as if it had happened in slow motion, my ENTIRE SOUL felt a strong *clench* relax and slooooowly release me from a lofty height of tense stress. It was BLISS. From that moment on, I was in a euphoric state of kitty chill and I think you just need those moments to recoup. It’s the balance. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about relaxing. If you work hard, you deserve it.

I have Ruby’s birthday weekend to delight in for the rest of the weekend…and to be fair the babies have been wonderful. Their little faces are lit with glee. Ruby’s so happy to be six and Junior’s so happy to skank extra pressies, because it’s his sisters birthday and he’s the baby, so we can’t leave him out. Lol.

All sorts happened last week. ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I pissed ourselves laughing, as we ventured out to what I’d call ‘foreign lands,’ lands that I had never been a part of before to collect awards. TWO AWARDS. Lol. We won the lot! Yet, we had to ‘copper up’ to afford to buy booze, because they didn’t accept card and we didn’t have any cash on us. Well, we spent the cash on being charitable, which although lovely, and Little Miss Fairytale won Daffodil biscuits :)…kinda annoying when it comes to feeding my alcoholism. ‘Lady Shizzle’ who went with us, (I did vino with her, the red sort, before the event,) had to leave us to it, to journey home and dumped a handful of 20 pence pieces in my hand, which i was tremendously grateful for, as I could then afford a Sol. Lol. ‘Fairytale Blond’ got a CUPPA TEA at the pub before and then a JUICE Lol…at the event thing. I was filled up with wine, probably up to my little squinty kitten eye balls.

The rest of my chick friends, are all on ‘time of the month‘ vibes, so everything is all a little stressy or a littler tender. It’s delightful. It’s all hair extensions, blond bits and grumpy faces, with stress.

We’re all eating out of that FILTH DRAWER like desperate chimpanzees on the look out for….(Lol…sorry, just giggling at the time Firmonnell kept carrying around this banana with her, like her utter LIFE depended on it, like it was her weird BEST FRIEND. HAHAHA!)

‘Why do I constantly have this fucking banana in my hand?’

‘What’s that on my desk?’

‘Firmonnell’s banana!’

I am eating like a fat Oriental pig. It’s disgusting. I mean, you KNOW you’re not in Hollywood anymore, when you’ve gone out of your way to HIDE a fucking BACON SANDWICH from Greggs, in a drawer, that you can easily access, with one, left hand swing, if you fancied a bite. I’m not even left handed, so it’s my emergency arm.

I DID that!! That is what I have become! Waist trainer? I’ve probably eaten it, with a side of pork dumplings? 🙂

And there’s me thinking, ‘Ooh, I have a bunch of events and shoots that start in March, so I’ll get in shape, eat well and get skinny for them…’

Oh yeah, totally smashed that goal…

I mean I head to Manchester in Monday to go have a cheeky peeky behind the Social Chain walls. I snapchatted Steve…Steven Bartlett and asked if i could go…and he agreed. So I get to meet him to! Couldn’t be more excited for Monday! Can’t wait to meet everyone. Can’t wait to blog about it all….BUT I’M GONNA BE THE CHUBBY VERSION OF MYSELF. GREAT! I’m mean to be some crown wearing glamour puss for crying out loud!

I bet they don’t hide bacon sandwiches in drawers! No! They’re decent human beings….all creative and hard working….all….

I hope they have cocktails?

The funny thing about all this, is that when I made my Gino’s appearance, remember that blog….at the end of last year….I had made a bet at the Prosecco bar with House of Solo Magazine owner Abeiku Arthur….I had started watching Steve’s Vlogs every night and getting into them and then began Tweeting about how much I loved them. ‘House of Solo’ Abeiku Arthur then decided to Tweet Steve…and I correctly predicted that he wouldn’t get a reply, yet Steve would ‘like/favourite’ my Tweet.

What I didn’t tell you, was that I also predicted that I would be IN THAT OFFICE in a couple months. 🙂 Lol. AND *BOOM*….Monday, I check in!

Like, I said, I’m really excited. I can’t wait to tell you about my time there…I go on Monday and I even kept my Diary completely empty for Tuesday, whilst I’m still in Manchester, so that I can blog it all accurately…when it’s fresh….

Facebook Msg: (PE teacher from Malta) ‘Heeyyyyyyyyyyy, not out living the high life this evening? *Add kissy face emoji’s here.*

Whatsapp Msg: (London Business Man)

‘Your obviously too in demand these days x

It’s so bizarre, because both of those guys are from my ‘last year’ and they both decided against pairing up with  ‘Wunna land…’ I hadn’t spoken to them….Just got on with doing life….It all *zoomed* into the beginning of ‘dreams come true’ and then just like that, they’re back *tapping* on my Cyberland door. Both lovely humans. I wouldn’t date either of them. But they make good friends. Men must like women when they are headed to success? Well no…it either makes me more attractive to some OR makes other guys just feel defeated, like there would be no point in trying I’d never go for it….

But right now….I’ve got to go back and tend to organizing the rest of Ruby’s birthday weekend…

Love you all!

Chrissie

 

 

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Stupid Cupid…

GOD!!! If i’m that ‘beautiful’ or that ‘mind blowing’ or that ‘talented’ or that ’10’ you’ve always been looking for, then why the am I single?

I don’t get it? I’m the most loving, love bunny in all of the goddamn lovey land. I make an awesome partner. So, if my inbox is filled with ‘I think you’re amazing’s’…I mean JEEZE, random ‘Tom from Hertfordshire thinks i’m…(and this is an exact quote)

‘like some weird science project, where the perfect girl has been created…’

Honestly! If  am I THAT delicious, than why is Cupid fucking me over continuously…A dude in a diaper is fucking me over.

Chick friend: ‘Because you’re far too picky and far too shallow. 🙂 ‘

Hahaha! 🙂 Cheers!

If ANYTHING, I need to be FAR MORE picky and far more shallow. I love romance, treats, eye candy and the finer things in life, yet I will always judge EVERYTHING on ‘chemistry’ and all through my life to date, I’ve always got it wrong. I have never managed to find that perfect ‘chemistry’ with anyone…No…aside from one guy.

But i’m not bothered. I’m just having a ‘had gin’ rant because I can. I’m not gonna just date ‘the next guy’ simply because. I’m rather wait it out, even if he never finds me and I end up residing with 100 cats, in the most glamourous bachelorette pad.

I will say that I’m watching Mel, Fairytale Blond, Firmonnell, Double B, Hot Sarah and Lynne and noticing how they’re all VERY paired up and in love. And I adore watching them in their girly ‘love swirls.’

YET…It did sort of dawn on me today that I was super single and I don’t quite like it. Let alone GET IT?

I’m an ace human. I’m fucking brilliant. I’m that glittery slice of life that you wished you could spread on your toast. That ‘Mmm’ noise you make after your favourite bite of cookie.Why am I NOT loved up??

*Massive confusion alert*

‘Wunna! Obviously. People read your blog. Google search you. Come up with a version of you, a WRONG VERSION, that they think you are… and mess it all up…’

‘Yeah, and this whole confident, independant thing that you are… is off putting..It scares them…It means that they could lose you….hence why they put a ring on it a lot…’

‘And when they actually meet you, they are so in shock at how you actually are, that they create their own swirl, and they don’t actually know what to do & start acting like an unusual version of themselves.’

Lovely!

Where’s just all the normal humans? My Knight in shining armour? No more Twats in Tin foil please! Where are all the authentic ‘make my eyes smile’ men? This game of ‘hidey go seek’ is totally one sided?? I’ve counted to 10 and coming to find you and you’re no where.

My LA guy friends are like..

‘Just come back here, where we all love you…’

My British chick friends…’find it funny.’

Then one girl messaged me, who I went to school with..she reads my blog daily…

She said,

‘I think you’re going to find that love is about to creep up to you, find you and sweep you off your feet really, really soon…’

Hmm? Really?

How can my love life be so shite. Yet my work life be so wonderful? I have brands and collabo’s filling up my inbox like wild fire. I mean, GOSH, I’ve always wanted to work alongside ‘Onch Movement’ (who appeared in Forbes and designed for Sanrio…Hello Kitty,) casually Tweeted him this evening…and within a minute, he tweeted back, and within five minutes, we sorted out a collabo. He’s in LA and I’m in the UK.

I guess, the ace thing about growing up in West Hollywood, is that everyone I know growing up… as a young one, is now super successful in the career that they chose to dabble in. Makes it all a little easier. I mean Little Raffi, who used to wish to be some giant producer…whilst dreaming about success, with Red Bulls, outside my condo, after reversing into my wheelybin every night…before he went to go hang out with ‘Neo’ for kicks. He ended up producing for R Kelly, working with Britney and even Michael Jackson. All of them, ended up doing so well and because they were all so driven.

YET, they’ve all managed to sustain loving long term relationships…AND IN FRICKING LA, where FOREVER means TEMPORARY.

I’m weeing myself laughing, but I have no clue why?? Lol

Cupid and I will be mates one day. But just not today.

(Now, I want you to all go back and read this through with an Irish accent. My chick friend, ‘Double B’…will always force these ‘accents’ that she does, upon us without fear and no matter where you’re from…be you black, white, Japanese, cockney, Jamaican or American…She will do your accent and it will be IRISH. Lol. She can’t even help it. It will sound nothing like you…but she’ll go for it… 🙂 )

‘You still sound Irish???’

‘Oh? That was my granny voice??’

OOh, Two Whatsapp…

Firmonnell: ‘I’ve started drinking through the week now.’ (HAHAHA! Yes! I hope she’s on the rum!)

London Business Man: ‘I know you’re busy and doing all this cool stuff, like going out and getting papped, having fun etc…I get it. You’re busy. But don’t you want to just get real for a minute and come see me? We’ll go out and about…and…’

I guess, the fact that I haven’t managed to find the time to go see him yet, means that my heart isn’t so bothered. Work comes before him…and when I fall in love….I want to feel as though i’m in a magical uncontrollable ‘happy swirl,’ where all is dandy and I’ll never have to compromise my journey…my ambitious, yet loving quench for success..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All The Cock*****, Baby Jesus & Some Lovey Bits

Me: ‘Why are you mixing a witches potion…?’

Double B: ‘Why does the water cooler jacket smell like it’s been out for a cheeky cig?’

(Note, that’s actually much better than it’s natural smell of B.O.)

Utter ‘pissing ourselves’ occured…

Then ‘Double B’ follows up with a..

‘I need to go to Boots to get a scrub, my hands look like they’ve got gonorrhea. I have gonorrhea hands!’

(She had what I call ‘fake tan tiger hands.‘ But they still looked ‘bling.’ But yes, they needed a scrub. And even WORSE I got left having to mop up a bright blue floor. *Major Weeps* I’m a glamour puss. We should stick to our strengths in life. My forte is standing in cocktailed, spikey heels ON bright blue floors. I’m not blessed with the ability to MOP THEM UP effectively. *Wiggle…Wink.*Lots of swearing occurred at this point!)

Today was an easy day, where work was accomplished and it just sort of sorted itself out. I quite easily knuckled down and got on with it merrily. There was laughter, tears, and just a devastating amount of luxury biscuit scoffing. I even had to take my fucking waist trainer off to let the biscuits have a home. Get in my belly!

You do know Chrissie, that you’re only supposed to Waist Train for a couple of hours a day. Not 100 hours in one go.’

Fuck it, i’m an all or nothing girl.I’ll pour every inch of Wunna Land into everything, or do nothing with it at all. Lol.

It’s been making me grumpy and certainly ouchy. I’ve got scars and weird toilet habits now. But because it’s squashed my entire insides, I haven’t been able to eat properly at all, meaning i’m skinnier. Lol. Hurrah! Hurrah! Give me gin!

I popped that thing off privately, like Speedy Gonzales, in a frosted glassed windowed loo and then *breathed* for our Queen and Country. In the words of ‘Double B’…

‘Thank Baby Jesus and the orphans!”

I love Waist Training, but sometimes a girls godda kick back and eat a..

Mel: ‘Do you want some of my rice and curry for lunch?’

Me: ‘I can’t I’m waist training.

Mel: ‘Fine, I’ll just have to eat this big portion to myself then.’

Then we pissed ourselves laughing because ‘Firmonnell’ keeps getting a raw deal when it comes to the blog mentions.

‘Why am I the chick who has worms and privates that smell of fish!!!!!’

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, along with hard work, it seems love is in the air. Not for me. I told you, Cupid is a dick. But ‘Fairytale Blond’ is in the ‘steady away’ part of her relationship…where they’re doing the ‘looking for a house’ thing, yet it has to be fairytale perfect. She’s working hard and going through a lot of changes and will probably have twin boys because we’re forcing her to. (It’s part of the Fairytale.)

Mel’s swooning about with smiles and wine and tulips from Gary ..

Fairytale Blond: ‘Does that just happen why you’re older, cos I don’t get tulips!’

Me: ‘Don’t worry, I don’t either..’

Even Lynne (who’s in her sixties) after a bit of an office weep today, turned around and said,

You know, if I broke up with Tony, i’d never be able to start again, because there’s no one that could ever compare to my Tony.’

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! HOW SWEET IS THAT!

‘My Tony.’

I want to feel that flourish! I want to wake up every single morning, look to my left (I always sleep on the right hand side now,) see the guy I’ve chosen to be with and say, ‘No one could ever compare to my….*whatever his name is…* Lol. I’ve ruined the moment haven’t I? I never thought i’d want that feeling so much, until I sat and saw her entire soul light up, having been with her husband since she was 17. She’s now sixty and you could see the love  that she had for him*oozing* from her like magic….even when she’s crying.

Now, I feel bad for saying *BLOW JOB, BLOW JOB, BLOW JOB* at her on repeat, whilst trying to describe a Valentines card poem, that I read. :

‘Yes Chrissie, I know what one of those is… I’m not that old!’

Mel pissed herself and went back in her cupboard.

Today I noticed how close we all were. We will literally tell each other everything.  We’re in this magical bubble that’s ‘just us’ and we can laugh, cry and swear at each other knowing that everything will be okay.

It was of those days were in which you just needed to add posh tapas and Sangria. (And maybe handsome Abercrombie and Fitch models.)

On the ‘entertainment’ front. I have a lot to be excited about. This Saturday I have an audition. I finally completely my interview questions for one of my favourite digital magazines. I woke up this morning to a Twitter DM from another editorial/magazine, (a big one) who told me that the editor would be getting in touch with me shortly, as they would like me to feature.

‘Can I have the cover?’

The great thing about each of these articles/editorials is that they couldn’t be MORE DIFFERENT from one another. They have very different audiences, they’re all doing really well… YET weirdly, I appeal to each one of them and their markets. Crazy isn’t it! And the tag lines to each of them are all quite ‘social’ yet all very different from the other. I’m excited for you to read them all. I can’t even believe how much my life is changing. If i do it well, I’ll champion 2017. I’m taking fruitful and somewhat glamorous baby steps.

‘You’ve got this on lock down right now girl!’

PLUS, I’m in the Spring Issue of ‘House of Solo’ magazine which you can pre order now. Its out next week! So I get to be all ‘high fashion’ at the same time. Even though i’m naked in it. Hurrah!

I’m looking forward to the events I have coming up and I have a few and also a bundle of ‘live blog’ spots that I’m going to be winking in, yet with wit, boobies, charm, love and intellect. After seeing all the pictures this morning, from the bloggers preview, that happened last night for the upcoming ‘Cocktail Experience,’ in Leeds, I couldn’t be more excited!!! I was excited anyway to be trying the finest, most creative concoctions in all the cocktaily land. I’m a cocktail SNOB. Don’t get it twisted. Shaken not stirred? I’m all ‘Shimmied with a hair toss, please.’

I know that some of you went to the preview last night and were wondering why I wasn’t there? Well, I never go to a preview of an EVENT. I’m there for the action, the show. It’s the atmosphere that gets my juices flowing. Plus, they’d prefer me to be at the actual event. 🙂 It IS something that I  do ask organisers.

Don’t get me wrong, for sneaky fashion previews…I’ll go and have a tinker. Yet events are all about THE NIGHT aren’t they. The prepping for it is stressy and jumbled and something like the Cocktail Experience is better for me to experience in the moment. I want to be around the bustle. The charm. The mood lighting. The fun. I might even take a Plus 1. IT COULD BE YOU! Sometimes bloggers get so caught up in the ‘going to the preview’ that they forget to have fun, live and write a decent, real blog, that’s filled with emotion and juice.

I’m not a review site. I’m simply a girl who tells the story of my life and that is all….I’ll do a moment of my life at your event, bar, office, in your world…And yes, i’m in a great position now, where people are filling up my inbox, with ‘come to ours’ emails…Yet their world is mixed in with my world..(like a cocktail) and that’s where the magic happens. I love it! And that’s what makes a good lifestyle ‘diary’ type blog.

I love that I had unfortunately *cropped* a picture today, so instead of it saying how much I was LOVING all the ‘Cocktail Experience’ preview pictures it read,

‘LOVING ALL THE COCK’

HAHAHAHAHA!

Obviously the story of my life.

I need to quit drinking red wine and listening to hip hop at the same time because it makes me do Wunna *tings* that get me into glamourous trouble!

*Take that rewind it back.*

(We learnt that the next bit was..

‘Lil Jon got the beat to make your booty go (clap) ‘)

Ryan in LA always used to say that red wine was my ‘truth serum.’ I wondered why he was always plying me with it! Lol. I need to stop, it’s making me feel foolish in the mornings.

Night kittens. x