Trips to Manchester, To Find Love….

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Did my hair, did my face, did my lips, did my pout, slipped into heels and got myself to the train station, which would delicately deliver me to Manchester airport, in one glamourous piece, ready for my ‘date,’ my ‘meet up.’

Before, we start, I’ll let you know I had the most amazing time. It was almost wonderous. I  wrongly thought that my date was in Liverpool, but it was actually in Manchester. Good job, he reminded me, before I arrived in the wrong city. Lol. He actually FLEW IN for work and then the date… (Bouji, innit. 😉 I like that about him.)

But why am I  so shocking!!!! I couldn’t even get the city right?

Yet, before I even got there, I shat myself with nerves, in my little Missy Empire pink dress. (Thank you for the dress. It was devilish. The little pink dress, is the NEW little black dress.) I stopped off, got two wines at The Mallard, in Doncaster, as @kingkenny1985 (who works there, and loves a Wunna Land insta story) had to *pause* and do a ‘double take..’ with a…

‘I just had to double check to see if it was you…You WILL get yourself into these situations…Lol’

I got to Platform 3B, which takes me straight to Manchester airport, kinda in a jiffy and that was after ‘The Draughtsman Ale House’ handed me a ‘half’ a tipple, to calm my nerves, because they were so excited about my little adventure! (Thank you for that! 🙂 )

(It fell out of my hand on the train, whilst I was messaging Miss.Muprhy and ‘drop poured’ into my OPEN, overnight bag. 😉 )

YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEeeeeeeee!

Everything just stank of ale! 🙂 All you could hear was this random Oriental, faux furred, big haired… idiot, SWEARING under her breath, like an angry, porny looking…ninja.

‘I can’t help it, i’m just drawn this way….’

My date was excited, messaged me the whole way through, to keep me in check, with his whereabouts. He did admit he was a little nervous.

Date: ‘Wow! I’m almost nervous to meet you…Lol.’

(I was ‘dropping fucking drinks’ nervous. But it always scares me when they’re nervous, because I don’t want them to think i’m some kind of goddess, because they’ll only be disappointed when they meet me, i’m sure.) 

Chick friend: ‘Not so adventurous and brave now, are you Wuns! Haha.’ 

Me: ‘Fuck off. I’m STILL l doing it. I’m STILL headed there. I never said I don’t actually feel the fear! Haha.’

He’d organised everything, so perfectly to a ‘T.’ Rooms were booked, everything has been scheduled, sorted and planned out. Almost wonderfully. All he wished for ME to do, was show up,’relax and enjoy.’

It’s almost like I had forgotten, that men like him…actually still existed. 

He’s a miracle. You wouldn’t even believe it. Before I even went on the date….and remember I had never ever met him in person….He had already managed to make me feel like a Princess…That’s the wrong word.

He made me feel appreciated, respected, beautiful and of absolute worth. 

All that ever matters to me, is how someone makes me feel… He didn’t even do it, with intent to manipulate or be showy….He did it, because he’s just built that way, he’s kind. He’s so much fun, but a proper old school gentleman.

I LOVED IT. It makes a guy so so sexy!

I arrived at the airport. I was driven to the hotel…It was raining so heavily outside, which I kinda love, when I know i’m INSIDE. There’s an evening comfort to it.

He arrived much earlier and had to dash off to work. I had school runs etc, so arrived in the evening…I had an envelope with my name upon it, with my room key ready and waiting for me…and with a smile, a wink and shake off of the rain, I was headed up the elevator, into my room…as the rain poured down, over Manchester Airport.

I got settled, took selfies, did lunges (lol) and went down to the bar for a white wine spritzer. The staff couldn’t have been more delightful. I was at The Clayton Hotel. right by the airport. I tottered in with my wink and pink dress…and Life was pretty much sorted from there.

He had just got done at the match….and was en route to meeting me.

The whole way through, he made sure I was utterly comfortable. He’s really organised, so he was telling me the plan, every hour. Lol.

Date: ‘Just order anything you need to eat or drink on the room, when you arrive. Don’t worry. Honestly, just enjoy…I’ll see you soon…’

I got my own drinks at the bar..whilst I waited.  I actually met loads of fun people, who were all off on sunny adventures. The gents loved me in that bar, but the chicks didn’t…and I hate that, because I’m lovely. Lol.

(Girls shouldn’t SCOWL at girls, they do not know. When you do, you lose your swag, your beauty & your level of confidence becomes very visible. Even if you feel it…don’t do it. I’m not there to steal your man, i’m on a flipping DATE!) 

But what can I say…My lil’ pink dress was ‘killer.’

Anyway…

Long story short…

He arrived…I was upstairs in the room…and when the door opened and I saw him…I filled with terror, smiled, (because you just godda charm that shit out) and then just told him that I was nervous.

He smiled…looked at me. He actually *paused* and looked me in the eye. I didn’t know whether to be happy for terrified. Did he think I was hot? Or did he think I was not? Yet, then when I snapped out of my few seconds of utter, charming *panic,* I then looked at HIM…and a calm, warmness sort from him…

Date: ‘Wow, you look great. You’re dressed like that and i’m dressed like this..Lol.  I’ve ordered food to the room…I’ve had such a stressful day, i need a drink. Lol. I’ve also ordered you another wine…’

(He already knew what i’d been drinking at the bar. I like that. It impresses me.) 

Then just like that, we sat down, we relaxed and we just started talking. He sat on the sofa and I sat a little away from him…But I noticed that I’m much more guarded now. I had my arms folded, to accessorize my smile. When I was on my first date with ‘The Swirl’ ages ago…I wasn’t like that, I was all cuddly and kissy…and…banter.

I was guarded that night. Open, friendly…yet nervous about potentially getting my little kitten heart broken…in the future. Yet, that’s not the way to go…You don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future…So, i relaxed, enjoyed by time, the moment and him.

He was alive He’s smart. He’s fun. He’s non judgemental. He knows a lot about people and life. He’s excited by me. He’s a family man. Someone who knows what truly matters to him, in life…

HE DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH, WHEN I TOLD HIM HOW MANY TIMES, I’D BEEN MARRIED ETC… He’s not terrified of me….He’s impressed by me?

He laughed and said…

‘I love that about you…At least I know you’re not scared of commitment, If i ever need to ask….Lol’ 

Then he said,

‘Datings always hard isn’t it…because you can meet a really pretty girl and she has an awful personality, or has no grasp on real life…You’re not like that, at all. I saw that you were a Mum and I loved that about you… I knew that you had real responsibilities and experienced real love…real life…’

OH MY GOD! DREAM!

(He’s also a Father… and I love a family man, don’t I! I also love that he’s bouji, but real. He’s not caught up with bullshit. He’s solid, stable, loving, sexy and a HAPPY singleton. He’s open to love….But would rather be on his own, than be with someone who wasn’t right! Just like ME!!!)

But the more we spoke, the more I relaxed I became. He was so interesting…so calm….

Date: ‘How old are you? God! You don’t look it at all…’

Me: ‘Everyone says that, but I don’t get it. It’s cos you didn’t know me when I was 20.’ 

Then we started eating and sipping our drinks…We started talking about footballers and glamour models and how they kinda have the same sort of job/lifestyle, yet one has the boy version and the other had the girl version…. of the shindig.

Date: ‘I guess, that’s why they always date?’

Me: ‘I just think sporty boys are filled with more testosterone, really. Lol’ 

Date: ‘Hahah. No, but when it comes to our lifestyle etc….Us guys, want to date an exciting girl. A *dangerous* girl. A beautiful girl…A.. ….’

Me: ‘Someone that gets ya juices flowing… I get it… Someone who isn’t Vanilla..’

Date: ‘Yeah. You’re that. You’re dangerous...(he had a smirk on his face, when he said it.) But you’re not just looks, like most…So, i’m almost sat here, hoping you want to see me again…I need to get shower… Hang on…’

Me: Why have you turned the lights off…?’

Date: ‘So I don’t scare you… Lol’

(Only a true vixen isn’t scared in the dark Haha. It’s the light that makes her feel unnerved.)

The rest of the evening was divine. We relaxed. We shared stories. I needed to relax a lot more than he did, if I’m honest. He was confident, caring, he knew life. He’s one of those ‘good at everything,’ guys… But so so humble.

Me: ‘There isn’t anything you can’t do? What are you rubbish at?’

Date: ‘I can’t dance well. I’m an athlete, so I can move…But I just don’t find it easy to dance. Hahaha. ‘

Then because he felt I was tense, he walked his fingers up my back and pushed on parts that he felt were tense.

It was literally the most gentle thing, and it felt SO good.

He was GROWN. He was full MAN. Like, he raised the bar, on what being a true man is! He’s an  actual ‘great at everything,’ guy, with a successful career, who’s a wonderful father/family guy. Someone who’s loving, sexy… and truly truly knows how to take care of a woman…on every level.

He walked his fingers up to the top of my back, just under my neck and pushed his fingers down to release tension….I looked at him, through a mirror…and we smiled…

That was the part where I trusted him…and he massaged me….

The next morning, I woke up at The Clayton Hotel, by Manchester Airport…after the most wonderful time, with the most thoughtful man I had every met.

It couldn’t even be real. It was like a dream….He was IMPRESSIVE. I like to feel impressed, don’t I? And Cupid properly threw in a gem, this time around….It’s like The Gods are trying to show me my options…

I swear…

I literally haven’t met a more generous, or more thoughtful man ever, who is dripping in sex appeal. He’s not even wet with his kindness. He’s charming. But not fake. He’s real. He’s someone you never need to prompt, because he’s always waaay ahead of you. I love that! He’s really intelligent.

(‘Well, we were only working a couple hours a day. There was a lot of free time. In that time, I got a degree…so I could use it later…Most of the guys don’t think to do that. I even speak five languages now…and run two companies…’) 

There’s a sophistication to him, that’s delivered with punctuated fun. He’s not a lose cannon. He’s stable. His feet are firmly on the ground. Yet, at the same time, he’s not ‘vanilla.’

For once, I got to feel like a girl. I got to feel so precious. I got to feel ‘taken care of,‘ instead of ‘having to take care of…’ I know so many women (including myself) who never get to feel like that!

He’s a good person…

Date: ‘I hope you want to see me again…I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I hope so. I’ll message you as soon as I get home…’ 

I can’t honestly have been that lucky?

Haha…it felt so ‘Pretty Woman.’

What is happening in my life right now?

If i don’t see this guy again, I will officially be the stupidest girl in the world. What a gentleman. What an amazing man. I don’t think i’ve ever been treated that well!!

I’m stunned…

I took the 10.53, from Platform 3A at Manchester Airport, back home, with my Red Bull…so I could arrive in time for a school run. 

Cashier: ‘You know it’s £2.90…’

Me: ‘Yeah…but fuck it, I need it..’

 

On my train home…

(After some chick gave me daggers and rammed her luggage on wheels into me. Lol. You can’t *ram* me after i’ve just been Princess treated!)

Miss. (who I love) Murphy: ‘The guys in the office who follow you avidly want to know which………he is? Liam has worked out that… Hahaha. This is hilarious!’

Firmonnell: ‘Did you fancy him? He sounds so perfect. How did it go!!!??!!! He’s sexy!’

Laura Grace: ‘Tell me everything…’

Halewood: ‘What happened!!!! You lucky bitch!’

Man sitting next to me: ‘I feel like i’ve seen you before….? Oh shit! I follow you on insta. How was the…’

Bartender Girl: ‘How was it then!!?!’

King Kenny: ‘How did it all go?’

Sarah T: ‘Who is this guy!!!!’

Big Brother Rex: ‘Must’ve been a good… with ya hair like that! 😉 Hahaha. ‘

 

3.30pm…

Ruby: ‘I’m glad you’re back Mum. How was he?’

 

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All the F****

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PR: ‘I don’t know what the F*** you think you’re doing, with this whole impromptu *win a date for a dare* thing?  Lol…You can’t just go around doing his dares, if they aren’t….’

ME: ‘It’s fun! It just happened by accident on my *Ask Me Anything.* Don’t blame me! Blame Insta! Haha. He hasn’t done it yet! So far, it’s just banter. Relax.’

PR: ‘If he wins a date…’

Me: ‘He probably will, as I’d rather have a couple rums, than subject myself to disturbing Tom Foolery.’

PR: ‘Stop, fucking talking over me. Haha. If he wins a date…You’re taking security. You don’t even know him. I’m coming too.’

Me: ‘Ugh. It’s not a PR operation. *Oh! Hi, Winner! Meet my PR & this giant mountain of a man, who will head butt you, if you annoy me…Romance is alive.’ 

PR: ‘Does it look like he’s gonna do it?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He looks tattooey. He even sent me a picture of what he’s thinking about getting done! He looks like he gets inked every 2 weeks… 🙂 🙂 🙂 ‘

And with a roll of her eyes and wiggle from Wunna Land, laughter filled the room, after a three second *pause* of fear and worry.

People worry too much.

Don’t!! It’s STICKY.

I’m an adventurer. I’m a life spirit. Even though i’m much more sensible and tame in my old age…The flirty 30’s. The wild streak, is just something, you can’t scrub off with a loofah. No matter how hard to scrubble.

It’s these moments that bring ‘magic,’ back to your life. It’ll be a memory. A forever, memory! Plus, I think he SHOULD get rewarded for being so bold. Being so fun! I’m grateful for people like him.

I love excitement. I live for it….Of course, with a side of love and a ‘swing’ of a great handbag. 

To be honest…

..I actually, think i’ve been accidentally, CLEVER about all this. Yes, it happened by accident, but  I decided to EMBRACE IT. Lots of people don’t other. I try and engage and appreciate, ALL the time.

I’m an entertainer. But I’m an entertainer, a model, a blogger…of the NEW kind…FRESH SLIDES…

I’m the innovative kind, where YOU can actually come be a PART OF MY ‘SHOW.’ Be a part of Wunna Land. Do life properly and connect with me, as our life paths cross. This blog has literally turned into a written word, reality show. It’s interactive…It’s modern. It’s what I used to talk about 10 years ago..But now it’s kinda happening.

It’s cool…

That Psychic in West Hollywood..2004. At 7.19 pm. It was  Tuesday night in LA.

( I was in jeans and this shit read belly top, that read ‘Manteaser‘ on it, instead of ‘Malteasers. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I WEARING!! And why did I start the blog with a F***, if I was just going to go ahead and swear anyway? Haha. Why do I bother, trying to be decent?)

Psychic: ‘You will start to write something, that will be the something that will eventually put your name in lights. Big lights… Opportunities, are gonna come your way..’

‘I’m a model. But I want to be a Popstar. I’ve just recorded a song with Capital Records..and..’

‘That will never happen. You’ll stay a model. You’ll actually become an actress. That is what you’re naturally good at. You’re a good model, because you’re a phenomenal actress. You’re a talent. But you’ll start to write something…and that is what will make you.You’re going to be a star. All I can see, is your name in lights…Do you have a diary?’

‘No…Anyway, what about my love life..’

( I walked out feeling unfulfilled.) 

WHY DO I ALWAYS RAMBLE!!!???!

Right. So yes! Lots of work. Lots of attention on my social stories right now. I thank you for that and all your messages of support! I put a lot into them…and I know it all seems ‘banter,’ but I do work hard for a ‘like‘ or a bit of ‘look at me.’ 

Hahaha…

..and without you responding, I wouldn’t have a story to tell. That’s why I love my ‘Ask me anything‘ because everyday, I get to learn about YOU,  from your questions, as you learn about ME. I actualyl never feel lonely because of it…

I love people…

Plus, with me NOT being as ‘out and about‘ as usual, due to my 21 day thing, it helps to keep my juicy flow of banter… alive.

I’m on Day 13! It’s almost getting harder now.

21 Days!!! Just Breathe OUT, Wunna!

(Lots of messages about this. But I just want to do it privately, for now. Then I’ll make you applaud me, once I know I’m steady, on good solid ground. 🙂 Oh and don’t fret. It’s not anything crazy. I’m not a massive druggie or anything. It’s just a habit, a wee little habit, that I needed to kick.)

Okay, to my love life…

(There’s literally not enough hours in the fucking day. I keep running through, all the things that I need to do, before the school run!! Utilize time! Utilize, time!  

So! Remember that I told you that I was going to meet ‘The Gent’ on the 18th, for a ‘friendly’ meet up. Well, it’s kinda like a date…but without the rigid formality. My chick friend wanted him to stand me up, because she wanted me to delusionally pine over ‘T Bone.’

I sent ‘T Bone’ a message yesterday. He opened and maybe with a shrug of disinterest, he didn’t respond. He had better life ‘tings’ to do. Haha.. He usually replies…Briefly. So he’s either just focusing on work, doesn’t fancy me anymore, busy, or is with someone…

Simples…

Break it down, Chicks!

*Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…*

‘The Older Gent’ who sent me his first message a couple weeks ago, got in touch with me over the last few days and has no intention of ‘standing up’ Wunna Land. In fact, he seems pretty organised. He seems pretty ‘together.’ Pretty stable and grown. He seems reliable. He works hard. He kept his word. He’s a father. Ex Pro Footballer. Retired. Now a pundit.  But most of all, he seems to care about my potential ‘maybe’ needs? He’s attentive. He’s nurturing. He’s really intelligent, without being boring. He’s flying in for work, from a different nearby country.

He seems lovely…

…and that’s refreshing, because the guys I meet, usually care about themselves FIRST, before anyone..Well any chick, that is. Or maybe, it’s just me? I’ve never really encountered any decent gent, (aside from one) who knew how to care for me, or look after me, without a prompt. Or without reading from the ‘Charm Script.’

Maybe that comes with age?

No, that’s wrong. I’m not ageist. It comes from life experience. Being lovely and respectful is just something you are. It’s not something you do because of an age.

T Bone is actually ALSO, lovely and respectful. But, right now, he needs to do him…and IS. I can’t knock him for that. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind dying a legend. Deservedly. However, what he doesn’t realize is that he already will. A great deal of people, including myself, respect what he’s already achieved in his life. I’m inspired by him.

(He’s occupation is also…football. He’s moved to the other side of the world, right now.) 

Anyway…That’s T Bone…aka The Swirl.

Back to ‘The Gent’….

On the 18th,  I’m going to meet The Gent in Liverpool, after he’s flown in and worked. I’ve never met before? I don’t know him?

Me: I need a new outfit and new hair!

Lizzie P: ‘Why do you need to spend so much money on looking good, when he’s only going to treat you badly, in the end? They always start off being lovely. T Bone was FILLED with loveliness and excitement at first.’

Me: ‘Hi. I’m Chrissie. I’m a glamour puss. You know that! I don’t live LIFE, like that! I want to look nice. If it goes well, then great. If it doesn’t then..Hey I looked fabulous! He’ll remember that! Haha.’ 

Lizzie P: ‘We’ll see…’

Then she shakes he head at me and walks off. Lol.

So much is going on? Real Dates. Old Flames. New Habit Breaks. Tattoo challenges.. Insta Love. All the work. Good friends. Family. Babies…

All sorts…

I kinda need a vino…

Chrissie x

Ps: Miss. (Does PR) Murphy, was on a late night train from Yorkshire to Essex last night, after approximately ‘seven wines’ and got excited about my MadLipz, Voice Over App. An app where you can put your own voice and words, over famous movie & tv scenes. I’m addicted. Mine have been ACE.  She downloaded the app. on the train, last night,en route to Essex, after a…

‘WTF is this??’

It ended like this…

‘Shit! I just opened it on the train and it was some violent swearing scene! Hahaha.’

I’m sure she was fine. Everyone loves a ‘seven wines and swearing’ combo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blackpool, Celeb Makeup Masterclasses & Life

Literally living the most amazing chapter right now, that is sprinkled in hard work, sponged with laughter, dashed with great friendships and glitter snowballed into good times. The energy in Wunna land is currently so positive it’s *beaming.* I’m feeling on top of the world. And yes, i’ve been busy and there have been moments where in which i’ve thrown myself a tiny ‘pity party’ in order to vent out my due shatteredness. And yes, i’m doing ‘baby step’ well and I’ve had to make certain sacrifices for it. However, as long as you’re always loyal to your own kitty beliefs, be it in love, work or play…they you’re always doing well. It’s your life. Live it and do it the exact way you want to. Know that there are consequences to everything action you make when it comes to the art of ‘making impact,’ or ‘living’ and as long as you can either *shrug* them off in Versace or handle them with a *wink,* then Dolly you are dandy. Go for it!

So, what have I been up to?

I still haven’t fallen in love or managed to go on a date. I’ve had ‘London Business Man’ message me, yet I haven’t had time to reply. I will go catch up drinks with him, as his soul is good. But like i said, ambition has got the better of me and work has zoomed into the ‘Priority lane.’ I’ve had a guy that I was talking to before, months and months ago now, who is the hot PE teacher from Malta (also had a moment where he shimmied on the telly, I used to chatter about him before briefly, yet ‘Eton Mess’ got the better of me and well the PE teacher didn’t like me that much anyway then.) He send me a message last night. Again, i haven’t had time to reply. I’ve noticed that the better I do in work and the more attention i gain, more boys who are dipped in ambition come tapping at my inbox. However, the better I do…the less needy for love I become. Lol. Catch twenty two and absolute GIRL POWER is occurring. Like I said my dream man will find me and just like that…he will. We’ll meet. We’ll feel something. Then with a *click of the gel nailed fingers* well decide to do ‘team.’ For me..that’s how it works. I am turned on by action, and anything that is a long drawn out process in love bores me. Yet i’m traditional by manner, so i’d expect him to make the initial move. I mean, how hard can it be to just say,

‘Hey, d’ya wanna grab a drink?’

I’m a functioning alcoholic. I’ll drink with you any time. 🙂

So away from that! I’ve been spinning plates. My parents are away doing Burma for my Mums birthday. I’m on constant daily work mode, yet at the same time travelling around for appearances, events and blogs…I’m also, at the same time organising Ruby and Junior to make sure i’m still doing the school runs and that they’re feeling emotionally adored. And they are! My life isn’t easy. But i love it. I’m the chick that gets things done and right now my hard work is paying off. Once i’m sitting in a ‘pretty kitty’ position where I can breathe, chill by my pool, with my morning mimosa and slow motion *hair toss* on cue, as Wunna land works for me and realise that ‘I’ve come a long way’ then I’ll have a bit of a rest. 🙂

In entertainment, marketing or the business of ‘show,’ people work HARD. So do not underestimate how HARD the industry is. Yet the positive ones with plans, are the ones who cultivate those great relationships and stability. Yet it’s also important to keep your eye on the prize. Even though i’ll go out and maybe get *papped*(which, i’m not gonna lie HELPS to gain attention)…I know where my work is and that’s here on this blog… I don’t let the brief moment of *pap…pap* get the better of me. I’m here to tell the story of my life…and in this chapter…showbiz seems to be part of it. Lucky really, as it came out of nowhere. (After I had planned it. 🙂 )

The other day, felt like the busiest day of my life. I almost lost my swiggedy…which is my word for ‘swag.’ I did the nursery and school runs. I then had a Viking Fm blast and promoted a bit of Gino D’Acampos new restaurant chain, I then rushed over to go hang out with ‘Take Me Out’ Nick Knight, who I know anyway, infact I’ve him known for years. We chattered at his home about EVERYTHING and after we judged people, talked about his weird fascination of saucy ginger chicks, we laughed out loud and I watched him almost do a sick after smelling a fresh cat poo. Then after work chatter…he did the washing up and I left to venture off to Blackpool, via Manchester.

(During this middle time, I did an audition also. But that’s a secret.)

I was already running late and trying to get ready. I was dashing about madly in heels, squeezing into leather skirts, spraying hair and trying to do up pinstripe shirts over boobies. (Pinstripe shirts are my favourite thing to wear.) Swearing and no wine happened at this point and i think that if i had wine…i wouldn’t have been so fucked off. Lol. I’m a glamour puss, I HATE TO RUSH. I like to do everything gracefully and ON TIME. I don’t like being late to anything, it winds me up. But rushing around without a plan, devastates me.

I Snapchatted all the stress, if you haven’t added me, you should, as I seem to *snap* stuff more than anything right now, but yes I swore a lot, but got on that train…ON TIME! 🙂 With an Echo falls train wine. 🙂 I was also forced to do a wee in a grubby train loo and nothing makes me weep more, simply because I stand by the fact that toilets ANYWHERE in ANY ENVIRONMENT even Zoo’s should be kept sparkling. Train loos are yucky and whilst you’re sat down on then with your thong down by your ankles, you’re terribly unstable and sort of unsteadily wibbling along…Grubby train loo’s are Hell on Earth.

I finally got to Leeds, then to Blackpool via Manchester and in that time I was still rushing about as I seemed to have so much to organise. It’s literally non stop. My inbox was filling up with meeting opportunities, brands that wanted to collaborate an dick pics. Then i realised that I hadn’t turned my notifications off…and I don’t like to incase someone I might fancy 🙂 or want to meet for work sends me a message. Lol. I had over 40,000 new, unread messages to my inbox, that i hadn’t managed get through so far. That was my train journey.

So, the reason why I was headed to Blackpool was because I had been invited to attend the Celeb Makeup Masterclass with Sean Maloney at House of Halteres. I was headed there to meet Liam Halewood, who I’ve spoken about before…he had a stint on the Xfactor.Xtra Factor as Tranny Minogue and I was also meeting the gorgeous Celeb Blogger Ryan Mira and Lisa…as in Appleton, who we know has the press all over her right now.

Now, i know Lisa and God she’s great fun. We’re both great fun and when we get together we almost have to attempt to ‘rein in’ being idiots, for a bit of the ‘look at me.’ It’s not easy. But what an I say, it’s hard for fun girls to be gracious at times, as we’re loosely moralled about most things and too cheeky to be too serious. Fun girl. I hope she gets everything she wants.

I will say that when she walked around the corner, of an Italian restaurant where she had been doing pasta with Ryan, to meet Liam and I in the car (and note Aaron the ‘Pap’ Photographer was already there waiting, I had already been *papped,*) that was the first time i looked at her and said out loud to Liam,

‘GOD! SHE LOOKS LIKE A STAR!’ And she did. That night, there was a *GLOW* about her, like she’d taken the next step up the ladder and she’s going through a lot right now that most wouldn’t know about. Fun girl, great laugh, so soft, yet ambitious. However again, do not underestimate how hard she has to work. All anyone sees is a picture of her taking out the bins in her undies in The Sun and straight away the comments fly with judgement. YET, if you were to actually know her, you would adore her. I think she’s great anyway, however from a work, showbizzy side, I get it and I understand how it all, which means i understand her and really that’s all it takes. I’m actually pretty impressed at how far she’s come. When we had a chat later over Prosecco, she looked at me and said,

‘I know why Paris would like you. You’re very tell it how it is. You’re very fun.’

Meaning…there’s a mutual respect going down.

So, we get to House of Halteres and we’re a bit late, which we all hate, none of us like lateness. Britain’s Got Talent had been going on all night in Blackpool and we’re getting *papped/papped/papped* outside by Aaron the celebrity photographer. We’re playing up to it, we’re loving it and we’re eager to get inside and see what makeup tips Sean Maloney has to teach us, as BOY do I need makeup tips. The busier i’m getting the less time i’m having to primp. IT KILLS MY SOUL! Lol.

Fabulous night filled with champagne flutes, canapes, good bags and celebs. At first we were in a back room because we were being noisy and well…we were really hungry. I hadn’t managed to git in eating all day. So we thought that we’d let the people who were taking the masterclass, do it undisturbed at first, as lets face it, we’re distracting and I’m a fidget bum.

In a back room we all Tweeted, Snapchatted, videoed each other and caught up on the gossip. Ryan and I are by nature naughty, so we’ll just do whatever we want…and did, hence why our Snapchat videos were on point. I kept chanting

‘Ryyyyaaan, ohohoh…..RYAAAAaaaaaAAAN!’ (Whilst slut dropping)

And he kept singing,

‘W’w’ You Wunna.. Wunna…W’w..You Wunna Wunna?’ (Whilst slut dropping.)

Then we all slagged people we didn’t like off, ate some crisps, Liam took selfies, Ryan and I played and wink, Lisa had work messages to tend to on her phone and then we all went in to be part of the Celeb Makeup Masterclass.

AMAZING. SEAN IS AMAZING. I need to have him with me constantly! I don’t know how he does what he does, but he could make look like a gem with a few quick brush flicks. HE IS GODLY!

I was actually explaining to Lisa that Paris has a makeup artist by her side constantly called Fredrick. He’s little, Asian and amazing. He literally covers up any tiny imperfections as she simply does…existing. Lol. I took Fredrick out to GAY once in London, during free time on a massive glamour puss, piss up. He needed it, he works hard.

THAT WAS THE BEST NIGHT EVER!

But yes, House of Halteres was filled with bright glamourous makeup studio lights, top brands, good bags, life and crowns. A girl was there who won a Miss Teen competition and everyone (as in from our bunch) kept grabbing her crown of her and posing in it. The poor little Miss Teen was so stressed out, because if this crown actually broke, she’d be in MASSIVE TROUBLE. (Couldn’t even get it off Ryan and Lisa’s heads. Lol)

I didn’t try it on. I don’t need a crown to tell me i’m a QUEEN. 🙂

Now, my evening was fabulous but short lived, as I had been working all day, at the Celeb Makeup Masterclass all night, I had travelled, I had taken mental blog notes, made sure the kids were fine, messaged all my work contacts and pouted and posed for Paparrazzi shots. WHICH IS VITAL, when you are in entertainment and you have something to promote.

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However, i had to get straight back for work in the morning. I had already MISSED the train I needed to be on. So as we left and Lisa, Ryan and Liam headed off to see a fortune teller and as Aaron *papped* them, I was dropped off at the train station to make my journey home. It was hilarious as at one point there was Lisa Appleton, Ryan Mira, Liam Halewood and I all rammed into the a little red corsa. I loved it! Hahahaha.

Then HOLY FUCKING NIGHTMARE

I’m there looking line a glamour puss in Blackpool, as every single train got cancelled and the one i eventually got on, broke down.

I FINALLY ENDED UP at Manchester Piccadilly Station about 2 hours later..from BLACKPOOL.. which isn’t very far at all…ON MY OWN, at midnight, with a bunch of angry people and a bunch of ‘getting arrested people’ as I waited for my next train, which was at ONE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING. I know!  So whilst you were all tucked up in bed. I was stood, in glamour bits, at Manchester Piccadilly FREEZING my lashes off. 🙂 *Cue Pity Party.*

When the train drama died down, as everyone was cross that they hadn’t managed to get on a train home and had to ‘bus’ it. The train station was quiet, empty, almost like a shell and there was just me. I had an hour to kill and lonely Platform 14. Everything had closed. There were literally just security guys and cleaners were around me, making sure i was okay every 3 minutes. The place was deserted and it’s in that time, when you’re on your own that you think.

I’ve been working really hard and i’ve not necessarily  been keeping it balanced. I’ve had a lot of fun. Yet it’s still work. To get to where i want to be, I have to thunder forward. But i don’t like boring train stations at 1am in the morning that are empty. It makes you feel empty. I kept looking at tall Manchester apartment buildings and wondering what the people who still had their lights on were doing? Everything went from so busy to DEAD. It was bitter sweet.

My train came, I got back to Leeds at 2am. A good friend of mine ‘Christian’ (as i’m ace at cultivating relationships) came to pick me up at 2am from Leeds train station to make sure that I got home safely and so i didn’t have to take a dodgy taxi. I couldn’t thank him enough. It really did take off a lot of pressure. It was the kindest thing ever. I appreciated it massively. I mean who would do that for someone? Well..I would.

I got home at 2.19am…Fell asleep at 3am.

Got up for work the next morning at 7am.

HOWEVER, I AM STILL THE HAPPIEST CHICK ALIVE.

Watch this space! Here I come.

Next morning,

We were in the…

 

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Work, Blackpool, Drama’s & Cocktails

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‘What did she say?’

‘Gonorrhea..’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Defintely!’ 🙂 

Yes, today is the day where I spent a moment of my life, (oh life) listening ‘Fairytale Blond’ proudly tell  ‘Hot Sarah’ her story of how she has an immune system disease, with a Pukka tea in her hand, that she shared and it was delicious. For some reason I made the executive decision to change her disease to ‘Gonorrhea’..and ‘Chinese Whisper’ it on to Firmonnell. 🙂 🙂

I don’t even know? I was bored, even though it was busy. But it was funny! I need to entertain the masses, as we’re again going through lots of changes. Plus, they all know we well enough anyway and just went with my Tom Foolery for kicks, APART FROM ‘Firmonnell’ who decided to nag at me for inaccurately delivering the story of her ‘breast milk pancake’ club.

‘What was INACCURATE about YOU joining a Mum’s club that MADE breast milk pancakes for fun??? You said that!’

‘No i didn’t! I said I was JUST THERE. I DIDN’T MAKE THE PANCAKES out of fucking breast milk.

Hahaha, like  ‘just BEING there’ wasn’t hilarious enough????? Don’t know about you, but i’ve lived a rather eventful life! Y’know, I’ve coloured outside every box, danced with fire, as it’s danced along with me…but not ONCE in my ENTIRE EXISTENCE have I EVER had the delicious experience of ‘breast milk pancake friends’ AND at a community centre. HAHAHAHA. DYING!

Again..this is probably why i’m single! 🙂 I’m a tit. But one that doesn’t produce pancakes. 🙂

I don’t think i’m actually adoring being a singleton right now. I’m not liking it as much as I thought. (That isn’t a grene light for everyone to jump on in. I’m not a desperado…I can still hol dout for the right pick. Lol.

I love, love. I love the fun and loveliness that comes with joining forces with a team mate. Y’know, someone who understands you and does life with you, someone you can build an ’empire’ with and enjoy secrets with..all of that. Someone you love and take care of. I really hope to find that guy. I really hope to fall in love, as my relationship with WORK I have down now. We get on well, because i’ve nurtured that rapport. Lol. I’m headed on the right track and doing it well. I’m feeling confident. (Even though there’s been a lot of entertainment type, other work ‘DRAMA’ today, for no real reason? If I despise anything it’s drama. I get my giant glitter scissors out and cut myself away from it all immediately, as I just see it as negative and what I know in life is that NEGATIVE PEOPLE, who don’t radiate a warmth or a kindness NEVER EVER DO AS WELL AS THEY WISH. And they never do well because they waste so much of their time concentrating on bitterness instead of focusing on being better. It’s that simple.)

But yes, now that i’ve preached. Life is great! It’s always great because i have the best friends, family and colleagues around me constantly, who without them even knowing keep me grounded, smiling and..well sharp witted. Lol. I’m cheeky, i’m charming and i’m dashed in what I call ‘glamourousity.’ When my ‘entertainmenty’ world is turning into madness, and it is a mad world, as the business of ‘show’ is a cut throat industry. It’s almost unreal…it’s a dog eat dog kinda game of ‘who does it best’….And well it’s during those times when the ‘family, friends and colleagues,’ make everything okay again without them even knowing. I appreciate that and more than they would ever think.

I guess i’m going through a weird  ‘becareful what you wish for, as you just might get it’ stage. I’m happy and I’m working hard and I understand all that, I mean GOD i grew up in Hollywood. Yet when there’s glitter drama swirling around me, i’m really good at keeping my eye on the prize, concentrating on what matters, staying focused and just doing what I love and loving what I do. (By myself.) I get ahead in the time that people waste and it makes a difference.

I’m doing really well right now and I’m working really hard for everything that seems to be coming into ‘bloom.’ More than anything i’m adoring every moment of writing this blog. Giving back creatively and telling the story of my life, as I go along… to ME.. is simply wonderful. Like I always tell you, this blog, is literally the only thing that I have been disciplined and accidentally dedicated to for almost a decade. Before all the modelling in LA, TV stuff, love life dramas and everything in between occurred….there was this blog. AND I LOVED IT. I even loved it before it was public and when it was still just a little jotter that I scribbled in with a biro, on my sunny balcony in West Hollywood on Kings Road, as my neighbour Cletus, popped out (we sort of shared the balcony) to make cups of tea and give me advice, as my love life was always shitty. An ‘almost’ decade onward, a whole new life, continent, three failed marriages and two babies later, i’m STILL writing it, loving it…BUT NOW everyone is listening…

That little balcony jotter, 8 years on… has turned into a FINALIST in the UK BLOG AWARDS THIS YEAR! It’s crazy. My life is just…crazy. So, I know my time will come…and when it does…(and it seems to be going well,) i’ll make impact. It’s not how MUCH you do…it’s the impact you make when you do it.

ANYWAY, aside from all that! Thank you for all your emails and messages. I read them ALL even though I kinda don’t get enough time to always reply! I’m doing an ‘Ask me anything’ blog shortly and weeing myself at some of the questions you’ve drop kicked into my inbox. Lol. I’m really excited to whop out my replies…but mainly because i’m an ego maniac. 🙂 I enjoy it. I love a Q& A. Lol.

People have also been asking me about my time with Blackpool. Why I was there? What I was doing? Well, after I shot for House of Solo Magazine in Leeds, I shot down to Manchester and then to Sunny Blackpool to meet up with Liam Halewood for a couple of evening cocktails. It was really great, as I’d never really met him before, yet i watched him on Xtra Factor and knew that his spirit was hilarious.

I arrived in Blackpool, he picked me up from the station with his friend Aaron, who was sweet and oozed a kindness…and then after I was driven to his, I had a cuppa tea, talked to ‘Alexa,’ who is this Amazon robot thing that does everything you tell it too! OH mY GOD! Literally EVERYTHING you tell it to! You tell ‘Alexa’ to sing for you..She whops out a tune…You tell her to turn on the lights, or pop on the kettle…SHE FUCKING DOES….like magic. I NEED TO MARRY ALEXA. I then met his dog Jimmy, appreciated the stylishness of his home, giggled the evenings events with Aaron and then met Liam’s husband.

We got changed, we had fun, we gossiped about people and went out for windy cocktails in Blackpool. So much fun. A hilarious evening. I couldn’t even walk in my diamantee heels AND I WAS SOBER. But cut me some slack, do remember that I had been up at the crack of dawn doing the fashion shoot in Leeds, after the longest week of ‘every hour going’ work….I did well to get my glad rags on and do cocktails under then night lights of Blackpool with the boys. Yet, i always say that it’s the company you choose to keep that determines how much of a great time you’ll have. I couldn’t have been in better company. It was one of those random ‘good times,’ filled with laughter witty banter, and just letting lose. I needed to feel free for a moment…as i’d been working SO hard that a ‘melt down’ could’ve occured. Lol. Plus, I hadn’t drank all day, so i needed to feel comfy and I needed a wine, before we even started the night out. So we walked to the shop to get one quickly, as you need one when you’re getting ready. Liam looked all styley, with his shoe game on point. I WENT IN MY ONESIE. 🙂 I know!! Whatever, it was cold outside and it felt so cosy. AND the shop was literally two seconds away.

‘Chrissie they haven’t got a mini wine??’

‘Ugh! What is there?’

‘You an get a can of Jack Daniels! Lol!’

‘But do they sell straws? I can’t drink out of a mini wine or a can of JD without a straw. I’ll look like a DICKHEAD!’

I had totally forgotten that I was STOOD in the middle of a guy’s newsagents IN MY ONESIE, already looking like  prize twat, whilst in heels and concerning myself over the fact that I hadn’t got a straw for my goddamn can of JD. 🙂

‘Look! I’ll just buy a Ribena and you can use THAT straw.’

See! I adore people who come up with solutions to my problems. Lol. Ribena is purchased, the straw is placed in my can of Jack Daniels in a can. I’m now the happiest girl in all of the world. I’m armed with a Gucci bag. Yes, I looked THAT terrible…and as soon as we walk out the newsagents…

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

(It actually happened ALL night, wherever we went.)

Now….in these situations, you can either shy away or you can realise that even though you’re comfy, you look like a tool and commit to it. Ofcourse I went for commit to it…and well we all know that i’m the exact opposite to camera shy. I took my facebook slutty onesie pics to the NEXT LEVEL. Hahah.

It’s a good time. We laughed all the way back to his…nearly got run over….but laughed….

‘Fucking hell, i’m not going down like that!’

Then we got changed for our night out. It’s was a windy night and we were meant to go for posh beachfront cocktails at Beach House. But it was closed.

So instead we tottered into into ‘Las Iguanas,’ which was across the street and filled with a bright ‘life.’ You know how much I love a fun Mexican joint. It’s one of my favourite types of ‘hang outs’ as there’s always something quite relaxed yet exciting about them. My second husband was Mexican. Being Chrissie Martinez for a bit was hilarious. Before that, I was a ‘Weverstad’ and then when I got to England, I was a ‘Thompson’…Then there was just ME again….as a Wunna! 🙂 And even though I get along with all three guys so well…I’m much happier.

We all enjoyed cocktails and the most delicious nibble trays at ‘Las Iguanas.’ I’d definitely go again. The food was delicious. Plus, I adore a good nibble plate. It was great! We bantered about life and love. Just all sorts really.

I guess Liam had been in there before, he seems to know everyone in Blackpool. He’s pretty much just produced and put together his own reality show, called ‘Fylde Coast’ that depicts life in Blackpool, yet one that shows you a more glamourous and fun side to it. I’ve officially done cocktails in Blackpool now so I can literally tell you that been there IS a glamourous side to it! I watched the trailer of the show on his phone, whilst I was sat on the sofa and let me tell you.. I was pretty ‘hooked.’ If you enjoy tongue in cheek, yet fun reality shows…then you will LOVE  ‘Fylde Coast.’ I hope it does well! 🙂

That night was a great night, as I got to let loose for a second during a very busy, busy work week.

Yet, as per usual, I was dashed to the train station when the clock struck ‘time to leave’…and just like that, after a few selfies, an evening of being papped and a great time meeting new friends…I waved Blackpool ‘goodbye,’ as my train left Platform 6…and made it’s way to Manchester Piccadilly.

(Y’know, when it got to Manchester Piccadilly and in the 7 minutes that I had before I was headed to Leeds…and whilst some strange gentleman was trying to hide the fact that he was smoking on the platform, yet still managing to do weird slutty faces at me…I AGAIN, used my 1 percent of my remaining life to Snapchat Steven Bartlett. Not to be creepy or anything…well, i’m sure i look creepy….But I had seen his snap a day before or so, which was asking people to give ‘ask HIM’ anything’ for his Q & A. I actually have A HUNDRED THINGS TO ASK HIM, so this was music to my ears, but i just couldn’t find a spare minute to simply send a ‘snap’ to him. I found that minute…on Platform 13 of Manchester Piccadilly, now 3 minutes before my train arrived. I began filming….and just as i was about to ask my question….MY PHONE DIED. What is my life!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Birthday Shimmie To Manchester

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Woke up on December 20th at 6.08am, completely naked, on top of the sheets, half my face on and my GIANT, glammy hair piece still ON MY HEAD in full glory, like it was some kinda of BIRTHDAY crown. I was in Room 825 (really nice room) of the Macdonald Manchester Hotel and Spa. I had just turned THIRTY SIX the day before and I chose to do it with good friends Big Brother Star Lisa Appleton and Celebrity Blogger, Ryan Mira, in Manchester. I had a train to catch, that would get me back to Leeds, well Pontefract at 6.57am. I had work at 8.45am and had to get there on time. I did it! But Lord knows how???  Infact, i will ALWAYS MAKE WORK, no matter how! My tummy felt like i hadn’t eaten in ages, so i did a mini (and somewhat glamourous puke) on the hotel bed (so sorry)…and then just like that, got up, got ready, got to Piccadilly train station and got on my flipping train….COMPLETELY ON TIME! In my mind, if you’re gonna *juggle* things, than you better *juggle* them well, without letting anyone down and most importantly … yourself. I smashed it! *Wiggle…Wink.*

But let’s rewind to the day before…

I had spent the entire day with my babies Ruby and Junior, doing lunch with my family…My Mum, Dad &Brother at Ego, In Ackworth. We had so much fun, that time flew and before you know it, I was rushing home to pack a bag, in a panic and getting dashed off and dropped at Barnsely train station (as it was the only station to get me to Manchester on time) in literally moments.

Boom! On a train. The 17.00 to Manchester, a bit flustered, excited for my birthday evening, ready to check into the hotel and then rush into a taxi, to go meet Lisa and Ryan at Menagerie for my birthday.

Once I hit Manchester, I had about 20 minutes to get ready and be at the joint. (I was there early. 😉  The trainee hotel ‘check in’ girl laughed as I dashed past her with a ‘She’s just checked in, in jeans and a jumper and in about a minute, she’s ready and shooting out the door dressed like Pussycat Doll.’

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I’ll fast forward, so i don’t bore you.

But i got to Menagerie, Lisa and Ryan arrived 10 minutes after me. I had called them to see how far they were, then..

*Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/* …

…as photographers basically took our picture, as we tottered into the new place. It was quiet because it was Monday. But it was my birthday and all three of us are of a drunky, fun, nature, so we didn’t even care! Within seconds we had the most delicious Pornstar Martini’s in our hands and we’re chatting away about, life, career, love, what we hoped and where we hoped, in the most glamourous location every. We even had a Kardashian conversation, which led to Ryan teaching me what a dirty ‘Jimmy Choo’ was. Lol.

‘I’m gonna call it that ALL the time now!’ Lol.

‘But she did Chrissie. She *Jimmy Chooed* him ans leaked it everywhere!’

Menagerie is utterly creative, decadent, modern, with an almost sexy twist of burlesque. It’s very current. But there’s lots going on…like champagne poured from chandeliers, dancers dangling and spinning in hoops above your table, cocktails that you share in giant swans for £100 or single drinks with fake £20 notes, burning from them. It’s very clever. Everything is presented well. Everything’s very bouji and unique. Everything in that place is ‘rich,’…and it costs.

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Anyway, we a needed air, we needed a moment. We’d laughed, gossiped, they gave me a bath bomb (that i’ve lost!! I think i left it in a bar on Canal Street??) Ryan’s shot outside already and Lisa and I are stood at the entrance Menagerie.

Couldn’t open the door for shit! It was LOCKED. Like it really was. We couldn’t move it, we were stuck and we’re sort of just looking around, trapped in this little entrance way, puzzled and laughing. Then Lisa decides to ‘hit’ a button on the side, next to the door. Y’know how some places have a ‘Press to Exit’ button, to make the door slowly ease open.

SHE HITS THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM. Hahahaha!

It’s my birthday, we’re still trapped in the entrance way, an alarm is now going off, we’re pissing ourselves laughing, the manager on duty looked all fed up with us, so we stopped laughing, so he didn’t get more annoyed. He began opening up a large doorway box and pressing all the buttons in all the land, to stop the alarm…and then this host girl walks up to the door… and just opens it. Lol. SO we weren’t even stuck. 🙂 Oops!

We were glad to get outside though, especially after Pornstar Martini’s  and were determined to enjoy my birthday night, as we swung around trees, piggy backed each other, kissed giant Polar Bears, seductively chatted up bollards and measured boobie sizes. Ryan got really into it also…As Lisa and I literally danced around a car park, HE found a ‘Santa Stop Here’ sign, started pretend hitting Lisa with it, but then dashed behind her and unzipped the back of her PVC skirt…. (In that moment, out of nowhere *Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/*)

Anyway, we decide to go back inside for food and more cocktails. Ryan’s now flirting with an Australian Waiter, with a Doctor Boyfriend, we’re telling everyone to come out with us and following them on Twitter (you always do that when you’re pissed don’t you. Lol.) I hadn’t eaten all evening, so i was feeling MERRY, looking great, sprinkled in ‘SEXY’ and then Lisa and I started talking about love, our lives, how we’re both single, good friends and then our careers. (I always say that I have it easy, as my life is an open book, you just have to Google it, open up a blog and read on…What you read is what I am…It’s my life…and you get a good grasp of who I am from it. There’s less guessing.)

And you know, away from what people THINK they may know of Lisa, if you were to know her and meet her in the flesh, she’s literally beautiful, the funniest, most genuine, down to earth, chick you’ll ever meet. But she’s ambitious and hard working. Yes, she’s an entertainer…as am I. Yet she’s been through her fair share of hard times…and you know what, after speaking to her so closely sat down with cocktails, in the middle of mood lighting and Menagerie…She deserves her moment. We gossiped about everything frankly. All the secrets in all the land.  She wants to do well…and is.

Then I had to tell her off with an..

‘EWW NO! YOU CAN’T FANCY HAIRY MEN! I HATE THAT! IT’S GROSS!’ (This was after the waiter was referred to as ‘Pretty.’)

Now, i don’t mind a GQ gent. A pretty one. Or one that has his own creative take on style. I love it. My favourite type of guy, is a guy with a great mind, intelligent, funny, fun, thoughtful, sexy and ambitious. I don’t focus on looks a much as people may think. I love eye candy, don’t get me wrong, but i’m mostly mentally and emotionally stimulated. But ofcourse, I love to feel attracted to a guy. YET Lisa loves a ‘mans, mans.’ A big rugged, muscle bound hero. Hairy even!!! Lol. I DON’T LIKE HAIRY. And i know you can’t help it. But i can’t help being a tool also, so there. 🙂

So we’re pissing ourselves laughing with Ryan, as we’re sat in a GIANT GLAMOUROUS BIRDCAGE, that has feathers entwined in it and pretend birds flying out of it, opposite a wall that has a giant electronic ‘Selfie Magic Mirror’ and a pink neon sign that says something like ‘Trade your wings in for mine.’ We’re eating olives and sipping ‘Pornstars’ and Lisa and I are actually having a conversation about porn and how it’s ruined some peoples sex lives.

Now i’m vocal in the bedroom, i’m a senusual person and well i’m not screamy, but a ‘show man’ Lol. However, Lisa says we (as in girls) get the best orgasms when we’re quiet and stay really still… and she’s right. I mean porn has made boys and men think that girls ‘get off’ by doing slutty ‘ooh’ faces at them and voicing champion ‘screeches.’ Lol. We don’t. 🙂

Wait, I’m getting distracted. 😉

We’re in Menagerie, the mood lighting is all pink, purple and dark, with bright white furniture in our booth and we’re now pissed and celebrating my birthday.

Ryan’s now thinking about Canal street, after flirting with the hot waiter. Lisa’s determined to get on with my birthday celebrations and i’m ‘Pornstar Martini’ delighted. Don’t get me wrong, things were beautiful in Menagerie, but when you’re sat in one place for ages, and you’re ‘firecrackers’ like the three of us are…it can kinda make a place feel ‘flat.’ So i simply turned my little kitten head to them, whilst sat in a bloody feathered birdcage (lol) and said,

‘Let’s fuck it off and go to canal street.’  (I am the Queen)

There was glint in our eye, laughter and we left.

As we left…and we’re NOW DRUNKIES.

*Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap*

Yet, we’re loving it now, playing up to it, picking each other up, posing, pouting, swearing, dancing. We didn’t even care! We were on birthday mode, doing Manchester, boobies under the stars and GOING FOR IT! If i’m turning thirty six, i’m lucky to be well, alive and still be able to love life!

It was like we almost *blinked* and BOOM, we were on the cobbles of Canal street…and this is when the fun happened!

Straight away, dancing under lights, posing and selfie taking with red sequinned, drag queens,bumping into other Big Brother stars, letting a Drag queen, dressed in a Sexy Santa Suit, be a DIVA  at us because she didn’t have time for our shit. Lol.

We’ve gone for it now and ended up at some bar called Churchills, because they offered us free wine (lol) and before you know it, they’re calling us on stage to sing karaoke and I feel like i sort of just blinked with my boobies and i’m stood on a stage with Lisa, as Ryan is filming it, with a microphone in my hand, SINGING ‘Wannabe’ by the fucking Spice girls, for an audience. LOL.

Honestly, we were shite. But oh my God, we gave it some welly. They loved us. Everyone was videoing and camera phoning the moment. We even got called ‘Iconic.’ HAHAHAHA. But let me tell you, being a Spice Girl is EXHAUSTING. How the HELL Mel B got through that rap section sober, I don’t know? (I was totally Mel B. 🙂 )

We get off the stage. We’re wanting wine, everyone else is wanting selfies. We’re loving it though, as we now have birthday fever. Girls and guys kept calling me ‘beautiful’ and ‘a Queen’ and when you’re dead old, you kinda adore it, don’t you. 🙂 Hahaha! It makes you feel good.

Then a group of straight boys come in. It’s now quite late and Ryan and Lisa have to head home to get the last train. I DECIDE TO STAY OUT. So, i’m now on my own, with the masses, in this bar on Canal Street, guzzling buckets of wine, with a ton of people now asking for selfies and the ‘straight ‘ boys head straight over and begin to DANCE OFF, HIT ON ME, in order to win my ‘only girl straight girl in the bar’ affection. It got so crazy that the manager had to keep pulling me out the way, or pulling them off me.

I then started having a conversation with a girl, as one guy is trying to flirt with me, by sexy dancing to Nelly and lifting up his top …and out of nowhere this other guy, darted in and started butting the ‘Nelly Dancing Guy’ out of the way to make HIS move. He was literally standing right infront of my face and giving me the ‘come ons.’ The manager (who was in a cowboy hat Lol…pulled me away again.)

I’m pissed by now, so i’m just tottering around smiling and selfie taking with those who adore Wunna land! (I followed you on Twitter Mickey Daniels! 🙂 )

Then it all just went mental!

The straight boys are now really drunk and now forcing themselves into Wunna land. A girl starts chatting to me and tells one of the boys, who’s asking me out that..

‘We’re together. She’s with me.’ 

He dances off somewhere and she turns around and says,

‘You’re too good for him.’ 

He dances his way back and then JESUS CHRIST, OUT OF NOWHERE, some other straight guy, that wasn’t even playing ‘Love Wunna,’ comes up behind him and fricking HITS HIM IN THE FACE and SMASHES A FUCKING BOTTLE OVER HIS HEAD.

Screaming happens, everything’s gone mental. He’s dragged him outside to beat him up. The girl that was ‘saving’ me from men, turns around and smashes my wine bottle on the BAR SIDE to go out and join the fight.

I’m out the way at this point, as i’ve been pushed to one side and sheltered.

THE POLICE CAME and Churchills (the bar) gets shut down for the rest of the evening,

What the absolute fuck!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED???

The cowboy dressed manager, (who was also once on Big Brother) walks up to me, makes sure i’m alright and says,

‘God! Lol! What a storm. We shouldn’t have let them in really, but we did. We’ve had to close now, as the police are here and let me tell you, THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED, IN THE HISTORY OF ME WORKING HERE.’

Then she walked me out, to another bar. Just so i’d get there safely. Lol. Yet after a drink, I left and got in a taxi. It was just too strange and a guy in a Pokeman shirt was dancing around me. He as with his Ozzie best friend, who kept telling me that she had a boyfriend, but wouldn’t say no to trying out a relationship with a girl.  Lol. They were actually lovely. So i really shouldn’t make fun of them. But i was tired now and i’d stopped having fun now, so i lied and said i needed the loo…and left them.

Got to my hotel…wiped half my face off, stripped off totally starkers, put my phone on charge, set it for five o clock in the morning, (It was 3 o clock in the morning,) and CRASHED in what felt like the comfiest bed known to mankind, in Room 825 at the Macdonald Manchester Hotel.

Missed my alarm. Shocked myself up, after feeling sick at 6.08am. 

That’s how i sailed into Tuesday. I fell asleep on my train and again just at the right time, *shocked* myself up, at the exact right station, just as people were getting off at Leeds. Missed my connection though, so I ended up in a taxi to the office.

Made it to work, bang on time, in Pontefract. Had no clue what time it was really? But ran up to the office door, with all my stay over bags, over my shoulders. I swung open the door a jar and ‘The Mighty’ looked me right in the eyes, smirked (like she had ‘been there’ herself) and in a stern, commanding, yet friendly manner, she simply says…

‘GO TO GREGGS NOW AND GET YOURSELF A COFFEE…..’

 

Lisa Appleton flashes her bum as the zip breaks on her skin tight PVC skirt

 

 

 

 

 

Adventures, Work, London and The Old Love Life

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Work was great. I’m feeling on top of it all right now and like i finally know what I’m doing. Lol. Yet, i’m still learning all at the same time. But now…it’s fabulous..because I can have these moments to myself when i sit back in my swizzle chair, breathe and smile. I’m getting there. 🙂 🙂 🙂 I feel really lucky.

I’m home, i’m already in my pj’s, i’ve munched on wasabi nuts (that isn’t code for anything) and I’m chilling with Ruby (as Junior’s with Keiran tonight.) I bought her ‘after work’ flowers today, just to make her smile. She’s only  yet like her Mother she has this absolute adoration for flowers. The simple things that are beautiful and fresh. Plus, when she’s older she’ll associate flowers with love. Which will be great when shes dates, or rubbish if she dates a nuisance, who either doesn’t buy her fleurs or only buys her them because he’s fucked up. 🙂

I haven’t voted, so i’ll not get into that! My entire newsfeed is all EU Referendum and it’s annoying. I now it’s important to vote, but jeeze, i have not a single clue what ‘in’ or ‘out’ stands for. So I didn’t bother. I had a wine instead. You should to.

So, yeah i’ve been working a lot and enjoying life. However, on Tuesday evening i headed to London, The Captial, to meet a guy, for a couple drinks and well…I fancy him…and i wanted to see him…so i did. Simples.

Pushed away from my desk, dashed to get a train, got changed on the train, spritzed, hair tossed, and bronzed in a train loo 🙂 and then sat back down opposite some really weird guy who refused to wear shoes on a train and zipped his hoodie completely over his face so you couldn’t see a peek of skin. He had a woolly hat on too. It made me feel as though my life wasn’t so bad. But i did what any decent human would do and took a picture of his feet, sneakily and whatsapp’d it to the guy I was meeting. 😉 Then the weird guy got off the train and switched out for a guy who wore a dirty top hat with a peacock feather jabbed in it! Who are these people!!!! They actually made my train glamming look normal, so in a way I kinda appreciate them for taking the stares away from me. Lol.

Got off the train, tottered down the platform. I was more glam than last time, yet less glam than normal and cos we were both running late, I got straight in, sat at a table and made drink orders. I was sat in the exact same venue, at the exact same table, in the exact same chair. I enjoy those moments, as they’re sort of like deja vu…but you get to have another go at it, like Ground hog day…yet this time it develops.

He sauntered in about 3 mins after I sat down. He looked amazing. So hot. He’s just sexy. Naturally charming. And…well he knows it, in a not so cocky kind of, ‘i’m cool’ way? Does that make sense?

Anyway, I wasn’t at all nervous this time. I felt really comfortable. And yeah, you do get nervy sometimes, but i was more excited to see him than anything. Plus, like i said I have a one track mind when it comes to gents, so if i know i want something, i want…and nervousness goes completely out the window and a sense of confidence takes over.

But we chatted straight away. Drinks came. We caught up, we tested the waters, we laughed, we flirted, we talked, we sized each other up with charm and sass and yeah we enjoyed each other’s company. Like i said, I really like this guy, so right now i’m always impressed by him. He’s charming and he’s open and pretty honest about everything. Yet he’s hard to read…as i never know what he’s thinking. So i know that he obviously fancies me…Yet i would honestly have no clue as to the degree of ‘fancy’ he’s at. But i’m a direct girl, so i’ll just ask him and he’ll state that he fancies me..then be all charming with a smile. (And it’s during the ‘charming smile’ bit where in which i don’t know what he’s thinking.)

The evening was great and we just enjoyed each other’s company. He snacked, we ordered more drinks. We flirted, we found information out about each other lol, yet in a sassy manner…and just got on with it, without thinking. We have a chemistry and well we were plonked in each’s life path for some reason right? And timing is everything, as i just think people are placed infront of you at the exact time that they’re meant to be.

Right now i have a forever filling Facebook inbox, that i’m just ignoring. I have guys winking at me from almost every angle. Yet, out of every single one of them…this is literally the only guy that I want. And I WANT HIM. I fancy him enough to date him. I’d be his in a second. I’d date him. I’d be his girlfriend. AND i’m aware that that may sound really stupid and normal, as we girls are always like that. BUT I AM NEVER LIKE THAT! I hardly ever fancy anyone…ever. I mean, God…i’m a tricky pull and for once i actually fancy a guy, just because he’s perfect for me..and i know that i’m perfect for him. I never usually have a chemistry or a pull with a guy. So it’s pretty decent. I’m confused yet it’s good in all the right ways and bad in all the right ways. Which to me means balance. Lol. So i’m going with it. (Shut up.)

However…and there’s always something..isn’t there. I’m here, feeling all of the above and I have no clue, as to how this guy in question actually properly feels about me. Ofcourse i know he likes me. I know that. But handsome guys, enjoy hot girls…always, don’t they.

So, Me being me, i’m taking it a strut at a time and just enjoying the time we spend together, as that’s the smartest way to be…and if it develops, it develops and if he doesn’t…it was still awesome. It was (well still is) good times.

I always believe that if a guy wants you, he’ll come get you and if he changes his mind and doesn’t…he won’t. And that’s that. But we’re in a good place right now. So i’m just focused on the ‘now’ rather than the anything else and loving every moment of being ME!

I had to wake up at five o clock in the morning, the next morning and dash from London to get to work in Pontefact by 9am. I got there by 10am, tired, but smiling and they could see the smiles in my little squinty eyes. I made loads of train buddies as my train got delayed and I honestly felt like i had take 40 trains, a taxi, a donkey, row a boat, run a marathon and drive…because of tiredness and ‘being on time.’ It was crazy. I mean I did it. Late. But i did it. Being on a time deadline is awful when trains get delayed. I hate it. I like to go on an adventure and make it back on time like normal. But I got there and it was sunny. 🙂 I worked the entire day merrily. I didn’t even feel tired due to Adrenalin…until about 4pm when it kicked in. Lol.

But i’m happy i did London, as the guy is amazing, he’s awesome and i’m happy i got to work, because I LOVE IT.

He could be sat at his place right now, thinking, ‘she’s alright…but i’m not really sure, if i…’ Can you imagine!! Lol. I mean, how cringey am I! But whatever, I never care about making myself look cringe, as at least i’m honest and i’m cool. I’m really cool. Hahaha. KILL ME! Being expressive and direct is one of my forte’s so if that’s how i feel, that’s how i feel and it’s ace. Simples!  I’m not lame. I’m dynamic. You’ve got to at least try and get what you want!

I mean God, he’d be pretty stupid not to go for it right? 😉

 

 

 

 

 

When it comes to dating…Boy vs Man

 

 

 

BOY                                                  MAN

  vs 

 

Ladies! When it comes to dating you really mustn’t CHASE boys. You mustn’t! And not only because it demeans your worth as a Lady, it makes you look like a desperado and well it’s really not too becoming to give a boy something too easily without working for it. I’ve been a desperado before and a chaser, so i’m not just rambling on, I’m speaking from experience. There are a great deal of thing sin life that we as women can chase…chase dreams, work, money, opportunity, midgets, wallets…:) anything. But not love and not boys and simply not boys because like i’ve always said, it is their natural instinct to hunt, gather and provide. They have to DO the chasing and if they have an interest in you, they will. Believe me…they will. if they don’t they won’t or they’ll mess you around. And if they aren’t a natural hunter and gatherer, then they are not yet a man and still wearing the title of ‘boy.’ be very weary of any boy that states that he is ‘Peter Pan.’ First of all, as girls…we all find that creepy. 😛 We do boys. We really do. Second of all…women…not chicks..like grown up men, because they are the mature version of silly little boys.

I was listening to Hirsty on Captial Radio on route to work, whilst stuck in traffic and well he says that on a level of sex, mature men are better than immature boys. With boys…it’s more enthusiasm with their willies, than actual SKILL. (And that’s true. That’s why we girls know how to fake orgasms.) You will be able to tell a ‘boy’ from a ‘Man’ simply because a boy will boast about the amount of women he has bonked with pride, weirdly believing that it makes him more desirable. It doesn’t. It just means he either has issues, or is a slag. Dirty willies R’ NOT ‘US. You’ll notice it immediately because he’ll attempt to be charming but then say that he isn’t looking for a relationship and never wants to settle down. #snooze. Those boys are not usually good at sex. In the words of Hirsty…it’s enthusiasm or ego boosting…more than actual skill. I agree.

Second of all…a boy…will make you CHASE HIM and foolishly think you have to make HIM adore YOU. #wrong that’s actually classed as being feminine. So maybe they’re a closet gay, or insecure. A grown up man will offer you stability, romance, love and never deny that they love you, care for you and will look after you forever. They’ll do all the leg work and simply because that’s what a real man does…without complaint.

Thirdly (and again as Hirsty on Capital states,) a boy might look hotter, have a good body and seem more attractive than the man. Yet the man doesn’t define himself on how big his muscles are. He defines himself on success, love and how he can proved for his family. Yeah, he might have an extra bit of pudge around his waist. However, that’s because his culinary pallet reaches a bit further than a pot noodle. He can afford a slap up meal and in fact afford one for YOU toooo! 🙂  A few extra inches around his waist doesn’t matter. Like the saying goes, ‘A six pack, ain’t gonna pay the bills…and certainly isn’t going to love you more than a grown up.’

And my final bit of Boy vs Man dating bonanza-

A boy will break a girl into pieces. A man will pick up those pieces of put them back together with love. Make sure you pick the nice guy, over the bad boy. The saying that ‘good guys finish last’ is soooo 2001. Good guys finish last? Not with good girls they don’t. And you can always tell a good guy over a bad boy, if even the bad boy is simply only pretending to be bad. He’ll cry because he loves you. He’ll focus on what’s positive about you and always see the good in you, no matter what the circumstance is. He’ll ‘woo you,’ never give up on you, share his world, do love, do life and only with YOU. In the words of Beyonce…*perform booty pops here* he’ll certainly…’Put a ring on it.’  A boy will only see what’s negative about you and use that in order to make you feel of less worth, which makes him feel more powerful.

Now, we all, as girls and gays know all of the above to be true…and we all as girls and gays…forget this because we’re idiots at times. However, don’t fret,this is why I am here to remind you and give your heart a little refresher, as  I forget all of the above at times, over and over again. Well..i never fully forget my worth. But I do on occasion forget to be a lady. 🙂 It’s all about having faith in yourself and faith in love.

 

On a good note for me, I totally read that 80% of married men said that they would marry the same woman, if they had to do it all over again.

On a bad note for me, whilst I was stood on the train to Manchester yesterday, I saw this old man asleep on his seat on the train and snuggled into him, under his arm, like he was protecting her and upon his warm side was his wife, also asleep on the train. They looked so beautiful and so happy. Just at peace. I smiled because it was lovely, but then *sad faced* because i felt as though i’d never have that. 🙁

Luckily then a grump old woman, who certainly never experienced love stormed over to shout at the boy standing opposite me, who had apparently hit her with his umbrella… by accident. She was a complete cow to him to say he was so poshy-nice-nice and super apologetic. Apparently he should never do it again, or live simply because she could now be blind or something? Lol. What was her problem??

There’s so much love swirling around the world right now and yeah I want a piece of romance, a piece of hope, a piece of something. 🙁 Even Mark Wright’s engaged to Michelle Keegan….right now! Peter Andre’s having a baby with new love Emily. People are falling in love every second. I want to feel adored. 🙁 I just can’t think anymore and my head is filled with fuzz.

The good thing about these occasions is that today we can all take it out on the ridiculous Katie Hopkins, who was apparently on ‘This Morning’ again making a twit of herself, for the second time. What a misguided snob. I’m sure she’s just trying to be funny and make good telly. However, I believe there are distinct ways to work PR and although she certainly may be receiving attention, it’s definitely not of the right kind. 🙂