Drinks, Friendship, Sex & A Whole Lot of Love

So, a lot is happening right now emotionally & I’ve been stressed out because of it. Hence why there hasn’t been that many blogs over the last week. (I’ve read all your messages and yes the blogs are now a coming.) I’m now concentrating on work, as it’s the only thing that keeps me feeling powerful. So i’ve put away my fun gloves for a second and slipped into my girl boss stilettos.

I don’t like drama and I believe that drama is a brewing.

Tuesday morning I woke up with a foot in my face, after the best night ever of absolute impromptu fun. It was Antony’s foot, ( a friend of mine) and as I was the ‘little spoon’ to ‘Not so Ginger Brad,’ we all did ‘wake up,‘ on Katy P’s sofa.

Yet let me take you back a second…

Monday afternoon, after I lunched at Ego with my babies Ruby & Junior, we ended up at The Carleton, with friends, for afternoon drinks, as an ‘over the fence’ bonfire littered a beautiful ‘ash rain‘ over my ‘one Peroni down’ weave. (My favourite smell in the world is ‘bonfire,’ and I kinda actually enjoyed an ‘ash rainfall.’ There’s something about it, that’s sexy and I love everything’s that’s sexy, if it is delivered with the greatest beauty.)

Banter, fun and lots of love occurred. To the point where others joined the ‘good times,’ the babies had now been ventured home to bed, the girls had joined the boys and day had turned to night. (Which is also my favourite time of day.) 

I guess everyone in the world is going through something, right? Every single second of the day. It only makes us human, normal and alive.  Some of us take it better than other, some of us dwell on the muddle, then there’s the ones that *blank* it out.

And yeah, I’d say most people sat around our two tables, will have some kinda issue on their mind, right now. Yet, in that moment on Monday night, everyone just wanted to relax, have fun and find themselves an ‘escape.’

We all have a story. We all patter different walks. Yet, Monday was simply ours.

Everyone needs a blow out. A moment where you are entitled to feel free.

My table was filled with a Jordan, Tyler, Ginger Brad, Antony, KatyP, Hairdresser Claire, Canadian Lindsay, Daniella, Oli, Will, Ashleigh and J.D (who I noticed didn’t drink at all, all night?)

It began to rain, so we all clumbered under the shelter, under the stars and talked life, love and the world that we live around us. Nothing makes moments more magical, y’know.. when you’re sat with good friends, or new company, over a tipple, in Yorkshire, as the rain falls down around you. (IT IS shit, if you’re in the rain, yet when you’re sheltered, life ain’t so bad.)

The night *Zoomed* by because we were having accidental fun. I had a red wine and it didn’t even act as ‘truth serum’ which means i’ve evolved and just become ballsy anyhow.

Now, I don’t know what happened, but we tottered inside and we’re all buying drinks, each other drinks, getting to know each other better, creating new fun with old friends…then it all went tits up…and booze kicked in. Everything must have whizzed by us, as we all went from ‘zero‘ to ‘hero’ pretty fast.

Ginger Brad and I were actually meant to go on a date, but we opted for drinks with friends instead. (We’ve been on loads of little dates anyway, so it was fine.) But, I always do this thing where dinner has finished, yet I still want to drink forever. I never can because it’s already been last orders and let me tell you, nothing could be worse. I’m heartbroken, by this point. I love fun and I want it to last forever.

Long story short, people had paired off to have conversations. Yet the drunk kind, where nothing is ever really solved. It lead to people falling in love, strong words, impromptu lash outs, sibling fights, punching walls and accidental madness.

KatyP: ‘Right i’ve organized a getaway car, I need you to get everyone in it and be driven straight to mine.’

And just on cue, I did. Well, I got Brad, Antony and Tyler into a car, because fuck it, I’m not great at herding sheep. Saying that, it went pretty smoothly and with a blink and with  freshly bought ‘petrol station’ booze, we found ourselves at KatyP’s.

We all got comfy, more people arrived and we just chilled with drinks and sang Disney Classics, after a bunch of Carpool Karaoke episodes. It was a good time, because it couldn’t be more chilled.

Then shit went down. Lol..

But only after Antony had bounced up out of nowhere and performed the most miraculous ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ Carlton dance in the world ever. It was so good, it should’ve gone viral.

Then there were tears…after Ed Sheeran songs.

*Rolls Eyes.*

KatyP: ‘Chrissie. Just stay in here, with Lindsay and whilst I go in there and sort all this shit out.’ 

And just like that…

The next 20 mins, was crazy.

CRAZY!

I mean, you haven’t actually had a good night, if someone hasn’t punched a wall, cried, got mad and bollocked someone, and sang bits of the Lion King. Kate’s a good friend because when she feels that i’m not being treated well enough (lol) she will GO TO TOWN on the human, who has DARED to fuck with Wunna Land. Haha.

I love her for it.

I was listening into the fight, as Canadian Lindsay found a fascinator and was more concerned about wearing it, than my actual love life. Lol.

Linz: ‘Why do you guys, not do everything in a fascinator??’

(She’s worn it ever since. She’s eaten Domino’s in it and all kinds of shit.)

Me: ‘Can you care about my love life please! Cheers!’

Then I decided to do the ‘walk in,’ as it had all turned pally and chipper by this point…I was summoned forward for a ‘talk.’ Talks are not my favourite. They scare me. Yet, I didn’t mind this talk. The talk wasn’t so bad?

Anyway…

Talking lead to mini arguing, which led to staircase sex, with led to ‘little spoon/big spoon’ sex, which led to me waking up with a foot in my face.

It was actually a really good time….I actually felt really good.I felt great. Everything seemed all dandy.

Now (since then)… i’ve heard lots of versions, of lots of things…and I’m not one for versions…I just like truths. Quiet truths.

And technically, we’re not kinda not properly talking right now, because of ‘doo dahs’ and ‘dill dums.’

Me: ‘Are you okay? What’s up?’

Guy: ‘Not really, nah.’

One of the most important things to me ALWAYS, is someones true expressions. How they really feel! Be it good. Or bad. And I like to hear expressions from the horses mouth, because no one can really ask or answer questions for people, other than the two ‘parties’ involved, right? I like to know how people feel, because it’s only when people communicate honestly, that some kind of result is made.

I also agree, that everyone’s entitled to their own opinion…because we have a voice to use freely …I use mine and it’s great.

Yet, if i’m just getting a ‘not really, nah,‘ and nothing else….Then that to me isn’t expressive, it’s dismissive…

I’m not sure how this has turned into a conundrum? Yet, it sure as hell has…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Summer Is Gonna Get You & Sliding Into DM’s

Happy Summer! Is it getting the better of you too? Summer is getting me into all sorts of trouble, because beer gardens and the art of ‘good times,’ keep ‘beckoning’ me forward. But you only live once, and you’ve really got to enjoy life. (That’s my excuse, every single time. When do we ever get a Summer as delicious as this?? If we don’t embrace it now, it’ll pass us by and leave us all grumpy. When ‘Jumpers & Dumpling’ season kicks in, we’ll be pulling faces and wishing we did more beer gardens.)

I say HAPPY SUMMER. LET’S DRINK!

 If we win the World Cup & Adam wins Love Island, shit will go bananas. Summer 18, is MENTAL. Hands up, if you here me now!

So yeah, like any Glamour Puss, with a keen eye for the jollies, temptation always gets the better of me, so I’ve been galloping off for fun, instead of concentrating on work. (Never a good thing. NEVER, a good ting.) The only situation, where in which temptation doesn’t ‘champion,’ is only when it comes to men. I’m good at resisting the gents, because in my lifetime and mainly in LA (and I’m missing Hollywood Life SO MUCH right now,) I encountered quite a good, jolly bunch of suitors and potential suitors. I’ve romanced the gentlemen. Zillions of them, all over the globe. I’ve lived. I’ve loved. I’ve learnt a lot…. and I’m therefore not arsed about suffering from a broken heart, in a bikini at 37, just yet. Lol.

ALL WALLS UP! SAFETY FIRST, ALWAYS! 🙂

In general, life hasn’t really handed me good set of cards, in the ‘true love’ department, has it? I get a lot of attention from the boys. That parts true. They crush on an insta pic, see me in a bar, sit next to me on a train or hear about a land I call ‘Wunna’ ( I’m always someone that people accidentally discover, they will not know anything about me, when their eyes first catch mine.) Then they decide to jiggle forward. Which is GREAT!

Woohoo! It’s Great!

HOWEVER, when it does come to ‘true love,’ that unconditional ‘REAL DEAL.’ Y’know? Just a guy who can truly love me, or care about me, just as I am. One that can treat me with all the love and respect in the world..Well, I haven’t been so lucky, yet have I? And don’t get me wrong, i’ve sold myself short, quite a few times. Lol.

OOps! 😉

Yet, there’s nothing wrong with that, if a lesson is learnt. Sometimes we have to mess up LOADS of times, in order to learn ONE little lesson, correctly. (Well, I do anyway. 😉 It’s the only downside to having an adventurous soul.)  As, I always say, provided some kind of lesson is learnt, then i’m quite happy to have *danced* the experience. Even if it’s shocking.

NO REGRETS! IT’S ALL GRAVY BABY!

In fact, if i’m being honest, (here we go,) THE ONLY guy to have ever truly loved me, with all of his soul, was my FIRST husband Mikey..and I may have been in a lot of relationships since that time, even two more marriages. (I was only a young 20 something, then.) I don’t think anyone has ever cared about me, or treated me as well, as he did. It wasn’t even a whirlwind. It was really solid. Really real. Really fun. And I love that not a single soul, but us, knows about our time. It was filled with utter romance. Old school romance.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a ‘dwelling on the past’ moment, (I don’t do that,) as I can pick great things out about every guy i’ve dated, we all could. (I can also pick shitty things out also. 😉 )

Yeehaa!

What I’m saying is, that when it comes to love, he INSPIRED ME because now I  know what to look for, in my quest for the ‘TRUE’ kinda ‘doo daa.’ 

Here me now, Cupid!

I’m definitely a girl who knows what I want. Saying that, I dreamt that I’d be held hostage last night, after being on a weird horror ride at some American theme park. It had a carriage full of every single person in the world, that I have ever let down. Then some dude decide he wanted to hold me hostage, in a really lovely, sunny villa. Then  burlesque dancer danced by me, holding my slippers, that had Bart Simpson toys in them?

I’m sure this means i’m no longer mentally stable?

(I nearly woke up crying, so I shocked myself up quickly and checked my Insta Likes, to make sure the world was still a safe place. 😉 )

Ah Dee Dums.

I was meant to continue my last blog and tell you about my guy friends replying to all my DM’s when drunk. Instead I went on a LOVE RANT! (Haha.) But f**k it, LOVE just means a lot to me and when something does, I’m sincerely careful with my choices. I treasure my loved ones with all my heart.

To say i’m labelled a ‘floozy,’ I reckon i’m more decent than some. 😉

But yeah…OH MY GOD, the other night, when we were all out drinking, at The Carleton… Rhys, Will & Ollie decided to pick up my (everyone makes fun of it) peacock phone, swizzle through my Facebook DM’s and reply to them….AS ME! Lol.

(The last time this happened, my good friend ‘Dodge’ typed ‘I’ve had a whisky baby and i’m drying up to a male Wunna Fan…who then proceeded to send me EXTREMELY dodgy, videos of his genitals for a month straight. DO KNOW, that I do not reply to my DM’s unless it’s work related, something lovely about the blog, or well…basically, I don’t reply to any sleezy DM’s, EVER!)

Now, I not sure what any of them wrote, but they chose a guy (who was in Florida) and they just went for it, with all of their souls. All I managed to read was…

 ‘I’ll show you everything for £8.70 and a pack of Wotsits.’

(Then something about me being a Lady boy. Old material, on fresh ears. Lol)

WHAT IS MY LIFE.

(I HAVE already apologized to him. But it’s still just a laugh. I’m a laid back party member. The only line I didn’t let them cross, was answering any video calls, or replying to any serious messages.)

Then Sheffield Greg & Ginger Brad (who actually isn’t as Ginger as I thought, because he’s getting a tan and Gingers can’t tan,) decided to take part with the replying…So this Florida, Wunna Fan, had five of my guy friends, sending him messages, from a Yorkshire pub….for a laugh. But he took it really well!

Me: ‘I can’t actually believe how excited you all are about this…’

Sheffield Greg: ‘What! This never happens to us! It’s fun. Why are you not letting us have fun!’

(Maybe because it’s at MY f****** EXPENSE. Lol)

Each guy would type something hideous. Yet, the Wunna Fan in Florida would still reply. He was actually really good fun…

Me: ‘Hang on a second. His replies are actually funny. Show me profile! He’s banter. I might fancy him…’

Ginger Brad: ‘He’s not banter…’

Then all of a sudden the messaging stopped…

Mwahahahahaha!

You’d think Ginger Brad and Sheffield Greg, would’ve got bored, by then. But instead, they decided to message each other… seductively. Greg picked up his own phone and started messaging ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ Then Brad was on MY phone PRETENDING TO BE ME, replying to GREG…. I was stood right next to him?? Lol.

*ROLLS EYES*

Like toddlers in a pubby playpen, they proceeded to have a blast. I just drank, cos fuck it.

Then I went home, and left them to handle life, without my assistance. I don’t think they did too well, because I definitely received a bunch of messages and early morning calls, stating that one of them needed to be carried to a meeting and the other…well…was sincerely ‘disappointed’ by my actions.

The next day Golfer Jonny, was found massaging ‘Not So Ginger’ Brad, in slow motion. Definitely pervy and KatyP’slaugh in slow motion, is certainly birthed by Satan.

Happy Summer Though.

Chrissie,

Thank you for following my life. x