Business, Swirls & Bouji Gin

So, I thought I was gonna chill & be quiet, yet this inner need for noise and bustle got the better of me, after *peace* had been  successfully’ticked’ off my ‘To do’ list. I found myself sending my bored friend Abeiku Arthur (who owns House of Solo Magazine..which I shot for) and by 7.30pm I as sat, in my faux fur, outside at a table with a red red wine at The Carlton, In Pontefract. It’s a local pub that I used to go to all the time, almost every time…Lol…almost racking up open tabs of hundreds of pounds time…Yet now I just peep in for a ‘kick back’ gin and tonic and jolly chilled banter with good friends.

I got there early so I just sat by myself, ‘House of Solo’ got there shortly afterward and after moaning that he wanted a burger and with a shandy in his hand, we pulled up a wooden chair and we started to talk work.

So, I’m running my blog, this blog..Wunna Land and he’s running his high fashion magazine…and every so often we catch up, to see how the other’s business is going on and chat shit about everyone basically. Lol. We loved chatting shit so much yesterday evening over wine that an old Yorkshire man, who was stood with his wife, stopped us and shouted across the outside ‘smokers’ patio…

‘Can I just say, you two look REeeeeEEEALLY HAPPY.’

Me: We’re talking about strip clubs and he’s moaning about £20 for a 3 minute dance, prices of them….HAHAH.’

The wife smiled, apologized for her husband, when she didn’t really need to… and said,

‘Aww, they’re just mates. Y’can tell…Especially if they’re taking about strip clubs, I’d whack you one..’

Everyone burts into laughter and the Yorkshire man finished off by shouting,

‘Bloody hell…Sorry. i didn’t realize. I just thought you looked happy, like you were gonna run off and plant daffodils or something.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love people. I love funny strangers. He properly made my evening. Then he left.

But yes, after ‘House of Solo’ moaned about dodgy strips clubs in Wakefield.

Me: ‘As if you’re so stupid that you don’t know anything about strip clubs…They don’t just walk around fucking naked you idiot. You have to pay for that! Lol. That’s the WHOLE POINT!’

House of Solo: ‘Where’s my burger???’

Me: ‘Hahaha! You look like a zero swag dickhead, having to hold a basket of condiments with you, wherever you go!!’

Anyway, we then got talking about our careers. I was telling him about the stuff that I had going on, my collabos, my meetings, the investment deals, showing him my social stats and where I wanted to be headed this Summer career wise. And he’s always really positive about it with me, but at the same time keeps it real…Kinda like I am. I’m the same way. We’re straight talkers. However, i’m far more charming.

‘It’s only because you’re a girl…that’s why you have MAD followers…It’s harder if you’re a guy.’

Then I started talking about some of the recent Vlogs I’d been watching and Blogs people had or hadn’t been writing and how I thought they were doing, as personal brands. Some people get it? And some people JUST DON’T. I mean GOD! I love talking about other people’s blogs and vlogs…and gobbing my opinion of them as a brand. I get away with it, because my patch of cyberland is sassy. It gives me a the ‘green light’ to swear about other people’s patches all I want. 🙂

If you’re gonna be blogger or a vlogger that intends to *jiggly wiggly* into the world of personal branding, then you pretty much should be able to EXPRESS yourself PERSONALLY. If you can’t, or don’t..and I can always see through those that are uncomfortable or faking it…Your personal brand will just never work. It’ll just be boring, unauthentic…and like everyone elses. *SNOOZE* The idea is that you are true to who you are…YET, even if you are true to your voice in cyberland, you’ve got to have that ‘something, something’ that is simply captivating…Without that, in a business of ‘show’ you’re fucked.

I should have a ‘Swear tin’or something? Every time I SWEAR i’ll tinkle some change into a tin and when it’s full, I’ll give all the dodgy made money to charity. That’d be awesome. ‘Wunna swore for Guide Dogs’ or something? I could save lives and everything…Shame i’m not in the right heels. 😉 I’ll have to book in into next season’s diary. 🙂

Anyway, ‘House of Solo’ got his burger, I got a posh berried gin, as he showed me his front over ideas for the next edition. He’s doing four separate covers…and one of them I ADORE. It’s a shocker. I’m gonna PR the balls out of it for him and just because I think it’s SOOOO ‘out there.’ It’s gonna open eyes. (And no, it’s not a Wunna crotch shot…as really…that wouldn’t be too shocking to most,and my crotch isn’t that ‘High Fashion.’ Lol. Who knows, we could plonks some Burberry on it and whip it down a runway?)

Long story short, we quit chatting about our work…and just drank a bunch of gin with berries in.

House of Solo: ‘I want a fruity gin..’

Me: ‘When did The Carlton start doing bouji gin..?’

I love how all bars are now going on this ‘Gin is all BOUJI and new’ thing. IT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR DECADES. Y’know ‘Mother’s ruin’ and all that! But i’m not complaining. My drink was delicious and served to me by my old school friend ‘Pogson.’

Me: ‘Are we the last ones in here, cos you’re turning the lights off?’

Pogson: ‘Nooo, i’ve poured myself a Peroni, you’re fine.’

Anyway, we ‘House of Solo’ and I quit talking about work and started chatting about our love lives. (This is after we had politely slagged everyone off…Lol)

‘What? Chrissie! She just bums you..’

‘Yeah. I like it when people do that! Lol.’

But, yes…he was telling me about his happily tragic love life and I was telling him about mine…yet….in snippets…as believe it or not i’m always quite private about mine, so i’ll let you tell me everything and i’ll tell you bits…the unimportant bits, to keep you happy. I’ve been getting loads of messages from guys over the last few weeks (because i’m a chick with boobies) rambling on about if i’m ‘single, single, single‘ and then being in a mood because I won’t reply, which makes me ‘ignorant.’ Lol.


I’m not ignorant. I’m just busy and i’m not someone who’s gonna waste your time, or mislead you. I think that’s wrong, as you can never get your wasted time back. But I read all your messages and i am very flattered. Don’t think I’m not…and don’t call me ignorant, just because I don’t reply. Lol. Use a different word like ‘swine‘ to get my attention. It’s rude and has reference to booze in it. It’s a winner!

If i’m being honest…There’s obviously someone i’m in a swirl about I think he’s awesome. I really fancy him. He’a a great guy. And when it comes to things like that…as in ‘swirls,‘ I’ve kinda got a one track mind…Meaning, if i’m in a swirl, or I like a guy…it’s pretty hard, for you to get me, to like you more…unless the swirl has…well…swirled off. Lol

Anyway, I gave ‘House of Solo’ love life advice and he gave me guy advice…We gave each other advice, on how important it was to refrain from ‘playing it cool’ …cos sometimes you can plays something SO COOL, that nothing gets done…He moved forward with his mode of action and if i’m being honest, over the past week, I’ve really thought about ‘my swirl‘ a lot. I’ve been busy and working…but…

Whatever…in that moment I felt all inspired, we both did…So we reached for our phones..

Unfortunately for him, his phone died and ran out of charge..Lol. WHAT A BALL ACHE. It ran out of charge RIGHT WHEN HE NEEDED IT.

Mine phone didn’t…

And with a. ..

‘I’m thinking about you…I’m kinda missing ya lots…’

… at around 10.22pm

Everything in that moment felt wonderful.




Day 3, Hornballs & Texts


Day 3 and i’m not looking forward to it. I had such a great night of chill, lol…that i’m sure that i’m eternally doomed for today. Yesterday got the better of me, work wise…so today i’m not expecting it to be good at all. I dread Day 3…DREAD IT! (Shit loads more days to go, on the ‘stretch.’)

Awesome night with Ruby. Awesome morning with Ruby, Spent most of last night texting from my bed sheets. (No, not that kind of texting. I’m far too old and busy to be bothered to ‘sexy text,’ But Ben and I have been trying to chat things out..and we have…and it’s been better. We’ve opened up about the things that we did wrong and the things we feel sorry for…and sorted through, the ‘what, where’s and why’s?’ It’s good for me, as i think that Ben’s a lot more closed off expressively than I am…so to actually hear him express makes a difference. Yet there’s been no real conclusion. I’m still questioning…and well when you just send a bunch of text messages…it’s not the same is it. It still feels a little awkward to me, and i don’t know why? I guess he really hurt me, which makes it hard for me to trust him…with my heart. Yet, he’s not doing anything to sort of help me to trust i did notice that once again, I’m the one that’s beginning the ‘bridge build.’ He doesn’t initiate anything. But cares…)

Ugh! I hate Day 3. I don’t even want to do it. (You can tell that i’m moody about it all today, already.)

The Spanish Doctor’s been more attentive. I don’t know if he reads my blog or not, as he’s doesn’t really do social media…he’s 38 and has no children to stalk…so he feels no need to ‘snapchat’ or Facebook much.

He restarted sending me lovely, lovely messages…and like i told you, he’s great at telling me he’s thinking about me every  single day, be it long winded, or brief. He’s a very passionate soul…and gets really excited by the thought of ‘one day’ hitting the jackpot with me and getting me in his little Spanish bedsheets. As guys do…be they 19 or 109.  I think he’s great, but before all that…i need to get to know him much much better first. As I don’t really treat sex as sex, now that i’m a biddy and a mum and i firstly i don’t have time for play the field really, lol, nor tango with hook ups. I can please myself. 😉 REALLY WELL. (I’m not bad in the bedroom with boys and certainly not bad in the bedroom with myself.)

But yes, We’re both very busy and i understand his excitement and dazzle of testoterone…but he sent me a message basically saying that he couldn’t wait to ‘devour me’ (that could just mean *kissy kissy* I could be jumping the gun) and that i wouldn’t ‘escape this time. 😉 ‘ If i want to…..i will. 🙂 I’m like Catwoman, if i want to escape. I will and with trophies and a pina colada in my hand. I mean God, i’ll gallop off on a near by donkey if i have to.

But on the whole, i’m not judging him…(remember I am a girl that has sort of lived this life where i’ve had men be excited to bonk me, simply from looking at a picture, that plays to their willies) so i always get *urked* out when boys try and force sexy time  on me, without it happening naturally…which is when i want. Lol.

He’s just excited. He likes me a lot…and I get that. And i’m not intimidated by him nor am I of anything sensual. I just don’t like the romance to be taken out of things, I think? And replaced with a hornball. I like them to balance out,

So i’ll still do my second date, when i’ve done my 10 day stretch and recover as i’m off after that! Frrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee! And i’ll see how i’m feeling about the Doc. It’s almost as if i need to see him again in order to know how i feel…You always get lost in the magic on your first date. Your second date is more real. Yet i love that our dates are chill dates, because like i told you, he’s sooooo smart that we can literally sit in a room and chat all night, without the show of a dinner date, or even a dress up occasion, if i’m honest. And i like that as it skips the false part of ‘new dates’ and keeps it’s real. If i can just chill with them at home, then it helps me see a future…If i can’t…then it makes me feel like a trophy.

He’s a good guy, just needs a little bit of a cold shower. Lol He’s funny.

I watched Patti Stanger, do her Millionaire Matchmaking last night, with Sonja Morgan and Perez Hilton! That must have made rating fly through the roof. So many successful people are single! It’s strange and means it’s harder to find love the more successful you become. When they Flashbacked Sonja’s past relationship with the really young 23 year old, hotter, than hot, hot hotty…(she’s fifty something)…I sort of thought, ‘Your’e so amazing, why would you do that, as you’re worth so much more…and it was obviously not going to work out!’ But then I looked at myself and realised that’s exactly what I would probably end up doing. I’ quitting bad habits.) The Doctor looks better all of a sudden…lol.