Swag, Fire & Japanese Living Rooms

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I was laid in bed at 2am this morning, Googling ‘Japanese Living Rooms?’ It was dark. I was naked. I couldn’t sleep because my mind was a swirling with, let’s say ‘solutions.’ (The good thing about me, is that if there’s a problem…a big one…I am really good at finding OUR strength in YOU, evoking my kitten strength and with ‘fire’ creating a more positive solution. I get it from my Mama. Sometimes we do Versace rings, other times we do solutions.)

So, i’d had this brilliant day with Ruby and Junior and The Wunnas. We shopped, we lunched, we movie watched a home…(Karate Kid with Jaden Smith in) and the children were a DREAM. I couldn’t even believe how flipping good they were! I even kept having to TELL them how good they were because, I couldn’t at all believe it!

Ruby: We’re just really happy …’

AWWWW!

(When you’re a Mum. You LOVE HEARING THAT!)

I couldn’t be too bothered with tending to all my ‘socials,’ yesterday, as I do it all week long…I needed a moment off and you never get a moment off….So I posted a quick ‘throw back’ picture, that I actually really love…and got on with my family day.

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEE! BEAMING!

Balance is everything.

(So if prosecco.)

Brilliant day. Superb! I am the luckiest glamour puss alive and i’m steaming ahead with work, feeling FREE, embracing opportunity and just really enjoying life at 37. It’s easy. But anything you love, or anything that fits you like a glove (be it in work or love) is simple. There’s no stress. No hassle. I like no stress and no hassle.

So, I’m happy.

Image may contain: 1 person, indoorย Image may contain: 1 person, sitting and indoor

Around, 9pm, we’re all at mine, settled, chilling and scattered around the home. The kids are in pj’s. I’m in my comfies, which is pj bottoms and just a bra. It’s either that…or just pj bottoms. I’m not really bothered about hiding behind a million layers.. I’m body confident. I even love my wibbly bits, that shouldn’t really be wibbly. I might not be ‘Vogue’, but i’m alright. I’ll live. ๐Ÿ™‚

Do KNOW that BOTH my children are body confident because of my ‘no quarms’ attitude to my own body. I guess, I accidentally taught them that. (Saying that, I also taught them to be ‘Divas,’ which isn’t one of my best qualities.)

Anyway, around 8 pm, my mum’s still at mine and she slowly walks, whilst reading a text, upstairs to m room to deliver some ‘awkward news.’ She thought it was bad news. I did for a second. It actually made me grumpy for a moment because she had passed it on the ‘worry parcel,’ (as I like to call it.)

I dropped that ‘parcel’ straight away because it’s not what i’m about. I’ll find a solution with a smile and move it forward with ‘gusto.’ I’m the most flexible, really prepared human being. Lol

My Mum’s really blunt, so she’ll just ‘say it out…’ like I would… I liek that about her. There’s not jigger pokery. Just the facts.

Plus, I hate it when people over ‘dramatize’ situations. I say it all the time, y’know…when they make a ‘mountain out of a molehill.’ They only either do it because their own life lacks a ‘thrill,‘ they’re just dull, weak, or they want attention. Lol. That’s my Prosseco theory!

I once dated a boy, who always did that and it annoyed me SO MUCH…that I left him. I can’t stand it that much. ๐Ÿ™‚ I just believe that strong people find solutions. We share strength. (My chick friends will tell you..I am awful at sympathy. Hahaha.) Find your swiggedy swag!

Long story short…

I believe everything DOES happen for a reason…So after a moment to myself, a big old think….I marched downstairs with my ‘solution’ face on and my positive ‘I’ve got this Mum’ vibe, in full force.

I’m good like that!

I gave some really big SPEECH. Like I was some kind of Locker Room coach and my team was getting beat…then I wrapped it up with charm, love and ‘so this is what we’re doings…’ and just like that….everyone slept well.

I laid awake until 2am. Haha Maybe, I talk shit and just take on other peoples stress for them?

In a second, we were sorted. Bad news, was turned into good, to the point where I dare say that I’m excited. I can’t tell you about it yet…but it involves a ‘doer upper.’ย Basically, I was just sick of ‘silly dallying’ around and letting someone try to ‘Rule The Roost.’ I took it into my own hands and now it’s getting sorted.

*Cya Doll!*

Wunna is SWAG!

God, I had some much stuff to tell you, but instead i’ve rambled on about all that! But yes, that’s how I ended up Googling ‘Japanese living rooms.’ I couldn’t sleep, because my mind was POSITIVELY busy. I was actually gonna Snapchat the fact that I couldn’t sleep…but whenever I do, everyone messages me frantically because they can’t sleep either…Makes me phone buzz, literally every second, which keeps me up even more. Lol.

I’m loving Sunday. I hope you are too! I’m on my newsfeed and everyones now engaged or getting married. Even flipping Ed Sheran!

GO ON! GOOD BOY!

Someone inboxed me a poem this morning…So I’m saving the read for this afternoon. It’s the same guy who follows me on Instagram, a Wunna Land Fan…He sent me the other one previously, which I posted in my blog. I liked it. It was lovely of him.

I love a poem! Even if it’s just ‘comedy.’

I also recieved the most beautiful card all the way from one of my Gay guy besties in LA, THEO…who i’ve known for 10 years. He is one of my BEST BEST FRIENDS. He sent me the card,just to remind me that he ‘loves’ me and ‘misses’ me…I’ll tell you all about it in my next post, as I need to head off to buy foundation and find breakfast.

I love that my other LA guy friend ‘Tarik,’ (he actually hosted a show called ‘Flab to Fab’ years ago in LA, that a ‘before he was super famous’ Perez Hilton was on. Anyway, Tariks all buff, married and funny. He used to always have a soft spot for Me or any chick really and he’d continuously lean over the gym counter attempting to whisper ‘sweet nothings,’ at me, like I was his world….

Tarik: ‘Bitch, you should love me.’

Me: ‘Hahah. Get lost dude. I don’t. You need to go back to Romance Camp.’

Anyway, he was asked to turn the music up louder, in his home, so it felt like a ‘party party.’ ONLY IN LA, will you hear a guy, before a music turn up, utter the words,

‘GIRL, HOLD MY PROTEIN SHAKE…’

Right, i’m off.

I need foundation.

I hope you love Sunday toooooooooo!

Chrissie x

 

 

The Dodgiest Yoga & What I like in Men

When you think your world is dipped in luxury and divinity and then just like magic, one of my trusted chick friends, ‘Hustle Barbie’ turns around and makes it even better (if ‘Better’ meant Dodgy’) by saying..

‘So one of my friends ended up doing WOMAN HOOD YOGA the other day.’

Don’t know what that is? Neither did I!

Get this…

Soย  WOMAN HOOD YOGA, costs a whole fifty pounds.

I love a bit of downward dog.’ I’ll stretch it out ‘lotus’ to mood music and embrace total enlightenment with the best of them. I especially like the nap bit at the end. I only go for the nap bit at the end.

But ‘Hustle’s chick friend didn’t do normal YOGA, as nooooooo that would be far to civilized for a Wunna Land blog story. She did ‘WOMAN HOOD YOGA; where you are instructed to DRAW A PICTURE OF YOUR OWN VAGINA (YES, in yoga) and before the actual YOGA part begins, you are told to INTRODUCE YOURSELF & then introduce YOUR VAGINA to the entire group. (YES! TO THE FUCKING GROUP! ๐Ÿ™‚ )

You pay fifty whole POUNDS to do this and look like a really stretchy, yet moderately saucy plank, in front of other females, who have also, like you… been forced to draw Picasso’s of their privates and ‘introduce’ them lovingly to a crowd. I mean I thought ZUMBA was pretty bad…and do know that I’m far TOO SWAG to be doing anything shit like Zumba. (I’ll smash a hip/hop dance class, and glide out a bit of pilates, but gyrating to Kylie tracks in neon lycra, like a weird dancey warrior princess, isn’t happening. EVER. I’m a glamour puss.)

But yes, I NEED to BE a ‘WOMAN HOOD YOGA’ instructor and simply because it fills my humour glands with absolute GLEE and well…let’s face it…i’d bloody rinse it!

‘Hi I’m Chrissie Wunna. Welcome to fifty pound yoga. Now draw your vagina, introduce it to chicks. Cheers! See you next week!’

Whoever invented that is a ‘Downward Dog’ MONEY MAKING, quirky feminist GENIUS. Lol.

Then she told me she had a dream about her nephew’s head being an egg custard, so I ignored her for a bit and decided to just *squeak* at Firmonnell. (The safer option. Safety FIRST!)

I tell ‘Firmonnell’ EVERYTHING, literally all about my life, my feelings and my secrets. I’m expressive. So yeah, I tell people a lot of things regardless. I believe in being open. I have no regrets. And if you’re close to me, I’ll tell you more than a lot. I’m honest. YET if you’re ‘Firmonnell’ I tell you EVERYTHING and then ask for advice.

She instructed me on my love life today. I’m shit at doing my ‘love life,’ but so great at doing everything else possible. No one wants me to end up being the dodgy cat lady. But honestly, I think that’s where i’m headed. I mean GOSH, I’m independant as HELL. I love my life. I live it. I’m successful. I don’t look too dodgy. I adore romance. I do it all. But oh my WORLD am I crap at love, when it comes to ‘knowing what to do to make it stick forever.’

I’m so crap, it’s funny. Yet not funny when i’m 80, alone and with all my CATS! I’m really good at knuckling down and concentrating on my career. I can block everything out and concentrate on my career. But that’s not balance. That’s just money and no person is forever successful without good balance or love. That’s why workaholics never become an absolute success. When they turn old, they realize that they’ve only become half the person that they alwaysย  wanted to be. That alone is pretty dull. I’m smart enough to know that and sassy enough to do something about it.

Anyway, to be honest, i’ve felt great all day because something made me ‘squeak.’ I turned to my left, saw ‘Firmonnnell’ and *SQUEAKED*. I’ve told you before that I only ever *squeak* when i’m really truly happy. I was really excited! It was the PEAK of joy. I *SQUEAKED* TODAY at ‘Firmonnell’ because something filled me with the fondest memories, the best gush of ‘Victory Punch’ and made me feel alive. I like to feel ALIVE. It keeps that heart beating. I hold onto those moments like treasure. I also hold onto humans that make me feel alive. I hold onto them like ‘non materialistic’ ๐Ÿ˜‰ diamonds. (What? I’m bouji.)

Anyway, a *squeak* is awesome because it fills you with the greatest energy and that energy alone tinkers the most insane amount of good luck to you. It’s just a moment where in which your soul is so jam packed with glee that it could absolutely explode. Obviously, you can’t absolutely explode with glee, but you can’t define the way you feel with words either…So you let out the most amazing girl *SQUEAK.* (I might have done ‘victory clutched fists’ with it also?)

That’s how I felt today. That was my day. Then we moaned about a human we know who obviously goes to therapy that doesn’t work.

Firmonnell: ‘Honestly, she’s mental. I feel sorry for her therapist cos they must just want her to hurry up and get the fuck out their room. No wonder she’s not FIXED. She just doesn’t know how to listen. She’s just draaaaaaaaaaaaags on and on and on and on.’

We all know a person like that. That person that just makes mountains out of molehills that don’t even matter. That person whoย  is always able to just find the negative in ever single situation. Lol. In my mind ace people SOLVE problems. The foolish create them and even worse they do not KNOW how to solve them or even TRY to come up with a solution, because they are so busy with the ‘show’ of ‘waaaa waaaa.’

I am a problem solver and I don’t take any ‘pity party’ pokery. I’m compassionate where necessary…and ‘diva’ when you’re being a swine. (Sometimes i’m ‘Diva’ just to look cool and i’m okay with that. ๐Ÿ™‚ย  Infact, I love that I can be an absolute ‘Diva’ at times and totally get stamped with the ‘she’s so cool’ lergy. It’s that jizzly charm that I have.)

I’m noticing that i’m a girl who loves excitement. I love exciting people. I love energy. And I love that in work and love. I like it in love when men come forward. I find it sexy. I’m not used to it. So I adore it.ย  I hate having to do the leg work. It’s not feminine. I mean the other night I was having a quick drink at Ego and I was discussing guys in general with the bartenders ‘Josh ‘ and this other one who likes all things to be bouji (I don’t know his name.)

Anyway, we came to the conclusion that if a guy really likes someone, he’ll go for it. Regardless…he’ll go for it. He’ll find a way to get what he believe is HIS. Even if a guy is shy, he has the’hunter’ instinct. It’s built into him, like prosecco is built into me. I adore the idea of that simply because I think we as girls have become SO independent (and don’t get me wrong, I love an independent soul. I am an independent girl,) that GUYS have become lazy, soft, or scared. Infact all three! I personally don’t like that. I much rather someone be really honest, open and forward, than quiet, shy and thumb twiddly. It’s looooong. I’m an exciting girl.

However weirdly at the same time, as I ‘choo choo’ onย  this excitement train, i’m pretty chilled. I like stability and something that I can build upon constantly. But it can’t be dull. I don’t like things that don’t ‘move.’ So technically, i’m kinda well balanced. Yeah. I’m gonna go with ‘well balanced.’ SHUUUSH! I’m going with ‘WELL BALANCED.’

I have so many exciting things to tell you, that I just can’t tell you right now. I’m an adventurous soul…so I’m lucky to have adventure on the cards leading forward! ๐Ÿ™‚

Like I’ve been saying of recent…

Watch. This. Space.