Getting A Preachy & Naked, Showering Grandads

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Happy Tuesday! It’s just a beautiful day and we’re having a beautiful start to Summer. I’m dipped in happiness and i’m trickled in the ‘good life.’ I’m feeling positive and optimistic and the reason why that’s so important to me, is because over the last few days, there’s been some really GREAT BITSFUN BITS and HILARIOUS MOMENTS of just pure life, that you could only wish to Polaroid…I mean in the space of 20 minutes an elderly gentleman offered to ‘soapy sud’ his entire body, in a shower…for my Insta story. He even did the ‘actions’ …which was also a delight. (Not.)

Me: ‘You do know that I WILL make you do it, for insta likes. I AM that shallow.’

KatyP: ‘Haha. Leave her alone now. It’s not wash ya Grandad Day, Mate.’

He was the most hilarious, golf playing soul. Filled with banter and all the wit in the world. I think he was called ‘Trevor’ or something?’ Anyway, he was in a red tshirt….and directly in my eyeline, because to my right hand side, flirting had occurred, that I was trying not to watch. Lol. He definitely indirectly called me ugly..

Me: ‘Aw. Don’t Start. I’m not in the mood for this. I’ve just been grilled about my life for the last 2 hours.’

Then pretended his wine was 4 shots of sambuca (i hate sambuca)  and all the rest of the ‘hard stuff.’ I love a bantery Grandad. They’re just my cuppa tea. And I don’t mean ‘FANCY,’ before you all start sliding into my DM’s. Lol. I do like ‘silver foxes’ though. Or when a guy gets, what I call his ‘salt and pepper‘ in. Y’know what I mean. When they’re going a bit greym on the sides.

IT’S SO SO SEXY! I COULDN’T LOVE IT ANY MORE ON A GUY. IT MAKES MY HEART GO *RAPIDO.*

HOWEVER….

…as the story always goes, over the last few days, there have also had moments where people have BORED me. I’ve been yelled at, ‘earfulled,‘ drained, immersed in the lives of others, who may not be as secure as I. Caught in the tales of those feeling utterly ‘lost‘ and listening to ‘he said/she said‘ drama… of that ever so important… ‘this and that.’

DULL

I’ve watched people cry. I’ve made them feel better. But ultimately it kinda made me realize that i’m nothing like that. I’m really together. I’m really secure. I’m emotionally strong. I’m warm hearted, yet not someone to be messed with. I have my pride, but i’m kind. I’m so direct that there’s not even ONE SEXY BIT of me that is lost. I did ‘being lost’ ages ago, it was ugly…so I got myself a one way ticket, back to ‘FOUND.’

you’re currently lost in the wilderness, sort yourself out, because honestly, you’re not going anywhere in life, emotionally, physically, mentally or financially, until you do.

You can throw yourself 100 ‘pity parties,’ THROW A THOUSAND and it’s not going to make ANY bit of difference. You’re not only going to make people tired of hearing it. You will 100 percent, not have the opportunity to ‘get sexy’ with ANYONE. NO ONE WILL SHAG YOU….ever. Lol.

And yeah, times can be hard, and life can be a bugger….BUT GOD, nothing is more unattractive than staying on ‘Team Lost.’ I cannot say it enough. By all means, feel it, have a blow out, express it…but get over it. Everyone has stuff ‘going on.’ Some handle it better than others. Bad times are temporary. The ones who hold onto bad times, instead of knowing that better times are approaching…to me….are the weakest souls. I actually can’t stand it. I don’t have any time for it.

That was just a very long way of saying…

MAN UP.

But, yes. I’m off to enjoy the sunshine today and grab a drinky. Last Friday..well I think it was Friday? Anyway, I had a good news phone call. ..and it made me feel all excited because, I filmed something a while ago…and it’s almost time for you to see it on your telly box.) I just had to go through everything with the producers and it felt really exciting because it made the moment feel ‘alive’ again.

I love those moments.

But yes, sorry for not blogging over the last in a couple of days. I accidentally decided to prioritize other things over it. Turns out…that wasn’t the best idea. Lesson learnt. I’m at my strongest when I focus on the things that I love…and this blog is certainly ONE of those things…

But i’m back. And I’m loving it….

Let’s just enjoy the sunshine, while we still have it.

ps/ Thank you those who went wild over my half nudey pics. Lol There’s always the ‘naked’ phase in every showman’s career.

Let’s Not Judge & Bubblegum Bed Spreads

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I’ve slept on Bubblegums, so bare with me….Not sure what’s exactly happened, but my kids managed to place small round multi coloured bubble gum balls, under my flat sheet….? It was like ‘The Princess  The Pea’ but much much shitter and not very royal. Swearing happened. I mean before I had to film yesterday afternoon, I took the children to go watch ‘Peter Rabbit’ at the cinema yesterday morning….(I like to be away from the crowd) and Ruby complained because he VIP Box Seat wasn’t a bed???? What am I raising? Junior’s cool. Ruby is SO high maintenance that even i’m cringing.

It’s weird how we label people right? And even though we always state that we are hardly ever judgmental, by any means….We still judge…don’t we? And we shouldn’t. But it’s just life….innit.

If you know me personally, you’ll know that I’m probably one of the most easy going chicks around. I’m easy breezy, laid back and yeah I’ll strop when I’m hormonally imbalanced, or feel something with a ‘fire’ in my soul…I can be a ‘Diva.’ Yet, 90 percent of the time…I’m cool. I’m swag. Like you’ve got to be a proper TWAT for me to dislike you.

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Recently, I’ve been really busy with work and i’m really happy about that because it’s all I’ve ever wanted. I feel really lucky and i’m counting every single ONE of my sassy little blessings. I’ve worked really hard and it feels good to look back and kinda notice achievement. It sends a buzz through me. Almost like a love buzz. I am in a VERY NEW CHAPTER. It did start earlier, towards the end of last year, with work…HOWEVER, it takes time for change to sink in…and now I can feel this CHAPTER and it is BRIMMING with excitement.

However, on Monday….was it Monday? No….Wednesday. NO wait. It was flipping THURSDAY. Lol. On Thursday, I’d stopped off for a quick ‘boozy’ treat at one of my locals. Kate and Claire had rocked up with wine in their hands, so naturally, they parked themselves at a table that had a ‘Wunna’ parked upon it and we had THE BEST BANTER OF A NATTER EVER. It was wonderful and I really felt ALIVE.

Wine was poured, laughter was out loud and we just talked shit for HOURS. We talked guys, sex, girls, diets and life….We had this discussion on how important it was for women to still feel feminine as they got older. How we should always still have ‘girl’ fun and be treated well by gents and even though we can be feisty, most of the time we’re submissive…as men are the more selfish sex. The best girls are independant and work their own sense of self. Like i’ll still be doing my face at 80 and thinking i’m ‘da bomb.’ 😉

It was such a great afternoon, that we didn’t ever want it to stop. If we didn’t have responsibilities…(The shit thing about being 30 something) it would’ve gone on FOREVER. I would’ve turned 90 and died of laughter at that table, dripped in vino.

But Claire and I have actually known each other for years…in passing. Everyday she walked passed me. Everyday I walked passed. Everyday we said nothing to each other.

Kate: ‘Yeah, she was really shocked when she hung out with you the other day..as she had such a laugh, and didn’t think you were like that…She said she used to see you all the time, but thought you’d never speak to her…’

Claire: ‘WHAT I SAID was, that I used to look at Chrissie, tottering up all glam in her heels and hair and looking all sexy and just thought, she’ll just look at me and think….’

Me: ‘I used to look at you and think that I better not say anything because she’ll just think i’m some kind of bimbo.’

(Claire’s all tattooed, edgy and cool looking….I just thought she wouldn’t be arsed with someone like me…) 

She was saying that just because she has tattoos people often think she’s EVIL, or worships the Devil…And I was saying that everyone already seems to have an opinion of me…Yet from an Oriental girl point of view, if I just randomly find myself stood next to a guy, or an old man at a bar….People will automatically think we’re dating, that i’m a ‘Thai Bride’ or I need a visa. Lol.

Kate: ‘She’s from Doncaster.’

Anyway, The funniest thing was, that on THURSDAY we found out that we were really similar and that we actually got along really really well. So, I’m utterly happy that I sat down on Thursday afternoon, for my ‘boozy treat’ and the rocked up with their bottle of vino.

I’m social by nature. I’m chatty. I’m easy to get along with. But we’re sometimes scared to say ‘Hi’ to new people, right? Or too scared to learn about the new people, that have entered our newest chapter….

We shouldn’t always be…(and I am often cautious because within seconds…and  if i’m too friendly… a semi circle of utter testosterone floods my path of glamour and before you know it they’re talking at me, with ‘wild’ in their eyes and a boners that suggest a distinct lack of control. Lol) 

So, the message of the day is to refrain from labeling others….then making a judgement based upon that label. We chose our own versions of life, our own jobs, paths, our own looks and our own way to success, love and family….

That what makes us humans ACE.

ps/ I’m flipping over this snow. I keep watching everyone’s Instagram Stories and is everyone in the world just in Dubai right now? Or are holiday’s there on the cheap? It’s pool party this, swimwear brunch that…

PLEASE LORD GIVE ME SUN.

Last Night I Loved The City…

It was 9pm last night, as I walked through Leeds city centre, on my own, over bits of cobbles, passed closed shop and now quiet busy streets, in the warm evening sunshine. It was still light and the air was humid, yet with a gentle breeze that swirled around couples.

To my left there were uni students in love, laid on private park lawns with wine. To my right were stylish 20 somethings hand in hand with ‘first date’ smiles on their faces, as they tinkered in heels and stubble.

Infront of me were lesbian ‘Hello Kitty’ teens who still had a long way to go in life, yet in that moment we’re so in love.

…and then there was me…

I beamed as I gleefully strutted through the calmness of Leeds city centre, on my own, like the world was my oyster. Last night I loved the city and I felt like it was mine! I properly ‘Carrie Bradshawed’ it and scanned everything around me with a wink and a smile.

Drunks boys whistled as I passed..yet politely. Posh boys ‘well heelllooooed’ me as they double took my strut. Grandma’s stop me to tell me that I was a ‘pretty lady,’ and well last night I felt liberated. There was a skip in my step. Last night, I loved Leeds and it felt like one of the Greatest cities to be in. I’m a lucky girl.

But let’s rewind right…

Four hours before that I was bundling my life manically into my handbag, trying to find my phone charger, doing wee’s with the toilet door open, because my mind was so busy that I completely forgot to shut it. (Business men watched me wee. Lol) Then with a flash and a ‘see ya’ I darted out the door, hair all a mess, glowing from the heat, rushing in heels and with a blink I was in my car *zooming* myself to a train station to get a train that left Platfrom 2 in 11 minutes.

‘SHIT!’

It was boiling, I had to get naked in the car, whilst parked up outside Xscape (lol) to change my outfit. I tottered as fast as my little kitten legs could take me over a footbridge with the sun beaming down and onto Platform 2….and just like that, BOOM, I was on that train and on my way! (No wine in my system at all…which i always find devastating, because if I ever needed a drink, it was in that moment, I need to hire someone that just rushed by my side all the time, with a cocktail in their hand and a straw ready for me to sip in emergencies.)

I’m not gonna tell you anything about my night because I think i’m gonna tell you a better story later. Yet, I will skim it with sassy clues.

I..with what seemed like the entire female population of Leeds was at Manahatta on Merrion Street last night. It was rammed. I had never seen that place so busy in my life. It was so rammed, that before i walked in, I peeked in and I almost turned around (especially because it took me ages to find the bar in the first place) and went home.

But I didn’t. in life, if you ant something, you’ve just got to push through those glamourous glass doors and go for it. So I did.

Every single one of those girls was single and they’d come from all over. BUT there was a handful of men. (The rest had gone to watch football.) In that handful of men, 4 of them were handsome.

Long story short…there was a warm sweaty magic in the air, filled with hopefuls and light, laughter and cocktails.

My lucky stars were shining on me that night….as I was pulled away from the masses to tell my little Wunna Land story to new people. I did this on a chair, on camera and wished I had better hair all the way through it. Lol. It was AMAZING. And it was really great to see so many people that I knew in the masses. I think EVERYBODY was shocked by how many people had bothered turn up.

I guess love does make the world go around?

Some people were being asked to leave, as others were being escorted through special doorways. I was on special doorway route and at one point I was stood next to the most handsome and stylish, loveliest Leeds guy ever. We kinda had to team up by accident, as everyone kept glaring at us….as we were stood on a stairway, above masses and masses of people….

Him: ‘I feel like i’m on show.’

Me: ‘Really? Lol. I feel fine…I can see what you mean though.’

‘Him: ‘I feel like we’re getting EYE FUCKED.

Me: Hahahah! Yeah…a little bit.’

Him: ‘My  work friends are even outside waiting to take the piss out of me. I’ve come straight from Bar & Grill… You’re the best girl here babe…’

We bantered and I smiled because he was such a gent and obviously great. He’s a guy who wants to get ahead in life, do well…and he deserves it. Handsome guy! Didn’t give a shit that his mates were taking the piss out of him. He was doing what was right for him. I liked that. (And his outfit! Lol) In the 20 minutes that we stood on the stairway, we got on really well.

On the whole, I guess, I didn’t really concentrate on the crowd. I didn’t notice the ‘eye fucks.’ I don’t anymore. I’m kinda used to it. I’m immune to it. Lol. But more importantly I was just concentrating on what I was doing. I chatted to the people next to me. I didn’t sweat the small stuff…and I didn’t have a fricking drink. I needed one. It was boiling,.

But yeah, three hours later, I walked through ‘special doors’ where there was just me…

An hour later…I was gleefully strutting through the peaceful evening city centre streets, with my hand bag swinging in my hand, a smile beaming from my soul and en route to catch the next train to Pontefract.

Last night I learnt that finding love matters to everyone. Be you rich, poor, tall, small, happy, sad, successful or nowhere….No matter whether you believe it matters or whether you believe it doesn’t. It matters to all humans.

I also realised that status, ‘show’ and ‘being someone’ matters to everyone also…but it’s only that little glittery handful of people who are accidentally in the right place at the right time, or the ones that really work hard to get themselves infront of the right people, or the folk who just ‘have it’ that get there.

I loved last night because you couldn’t do anything but be yourself. And if I can do anything…I can fucking do that! Lol.

Enjoy the weather!