Business, Swirls & Bouji Gin

So, I thought I was gonna chill & be quiet, yet this inner need for noise and bustle got the better of me, after *peace* had been  successfully’ticked’ off my ‘To do’ list. I found myself sending my bored friend Abeiku Arthur (who owns House of Solo Magazine..which I shot for) and by 7.30pm I as sat, in my faux fur, outside at a table with a red red wine at The Carlton, In Pontefract. It’s a local pub that I used to go to all the time, almost every time…Lol…almost racking up open tabs of hundreds of pounds time…Yet now I just peep in for a ‘kick back’ gin and tonic and jolly chilled banter with good friends.

I got there early so I just sat by myself, ‘House of Solo’ got there shortly afterward and after moaning that he wanted a burger and with a shandy in his hand, we pulled up a wooden chair and we started to talk work.

So, I’m running my blog, this blog..Wunna Land and he’s running his high fashion magazine…and every so often we catch up, to see how the other’s business is going on and chat shit about everyone basically. Lol. We loved chatting shit so much yesterday evening over wine that an old Yorkshire man, who was stood with his wife, stopped us and shouted across the outside ‘smokers’ patio…

‘Can I just say, you two look REeeeeEEEALLY HAPPY.’

Me: We’re talking about strip clubs and he’s moaning about £20 for a 3 minute dance, prices of them….HAHAH.’

The wife smiled, apologized for her husband, when she didn’t really need to… and said,

‘Aww, they’re just mates. Y’can tell…Especially if they’re taking about strip clubs, I’d whack you one..’

Everyone burts into laughter and the Yorkshire man finished off by shouting,

‘Bloody hell…Sorry. i didn’t realize. I just thought you looked happy, like you were gonna run off and plant daffodils or something.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love people. I love funny strangers. He properly made my evening. Then he left.

But yes, after ‘House of Solo’ moaned about dodgy strips clubs in Wakefield.

Me: ‘As if you’re so stupid that you don’t know anything about strip clubs…They don’t just walk around fucking naked you idiot. You have to pay for that! Lol. That’s the WHOLE POINT!’

House of Solo: ‘Where’s my burger???’

Me: ‘Hahaha! You look like a zero swag dickhead, having to hold a basket of condiments with you, wherever you go!!’

Anyway, we then got talking about our careers. I was telling him about the stuff that I had going on, my collabos, my meetings, the investment deals, showing him my social stats and where I wanted to be headed this Summer career wise. And he’s always really positive about it with me, but at the same time keeps it real…Kinda like I am. I’m the same way. We’re straight talkers. However, i’m far more charming.

‘It’s only because you’re a girl…that’s why you have MAD followers…It’s harder if you’re a guy.’

Then I started talking about some of the recent Vlogs I’d been watching and Blogs people had or hadn’t been writing and how I thought they were doing, as personal brands. Some people get it? And some people JUST DON’T. I mean GOD! I love talking about other people’s blogs and vlogs…and gobbing my opinion of them as a brand. I get away with it, because my patch of cyberland is sassy. It gives me a the ‘green light’ to swear about other people’s patches all I want. 🙂

If you’re gonna be blogger or a vlogger that intends to *jiggly wiggly* into the world of personal branding, then you pretty much should be able to EXPRESS yourself PERSONALLY. If you can’t, or don’t..and I can always see through those that are uncomfortable or faking it…Your personal brand will just never work. It’ll just be boring, unauthentic…and like everyone elses. *SNOOZE* The idea is that you are true to who you are…YET, even if you are true to your voice in cyberland, you’ve got to have that ‘something, something’ that is simply captivating…Without that, in a business of ‘show’ you’re fucked.

I should have a ‘Swear tin’or something? Every time I SWEAR i’ll tinkle some change into a tin and when it’s full, I’ll give all the dodgy made money to charity. That’d be awesome. ‘Wunna swore for Guide Dogs’ or something? I could save lives and everything…Shame i’m not in the right heels. 😉 I’ll have to book in into next season’s diary. 🙂

Anyway, ‘House of Solo’ got his burger, I got a posh berried gin, as he showed me his front over ideas for the next edition. He’s doing four separate covers…and one of them I ADORE. It’s a shocker. I’m gonna PR the balls out of it for him and just because I think it’s SOOOO ‘out there.’ It’s gonna open eyes. (And no, it’s not a Wunna crotch shot…as really…that wouldn’t be too shocking to most,and my crotch isn’t that ‘High Fashion.’ Lol. Who knows, we could plonks some Burberry on it and whip it down a runway?)

Long story short, we quit chatting about our work…and just drank a bunch of gin with berries in.

House of Solo: ‘I want a fruity gin..’

Me: ‘When did The Carlton start doing bouji gin..?’

I love how all bars are now going on this ‘Gin is all BOUJI and new’ thing. IT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR DECADES. Y’know ‘Mother’s ruin’ and all that! But i’m not complaining. My drink was delicious and served to me by my old school friend ‘Pogson.’

Me: ‘Are we the last ones in here, cos you’re turning the lights off?’

Pogson: ‘Nooo, i’ve poured myself a Peroni, you’re fine.’

Anyway, we ‘House of Solo’ and I quit talking about work and started chatting about our love lives. (This is after we had politely slagged everyone off…Lol)

‘What? Chrissie! She just bums you..’

‘Yeah. I like it when people do that! Lol.’

But, yes…he was telling me about his happily tragic love life and I was telling him about mine…yet….in snippets…as believe it or not i’m always quite private about mine, so i’ll let you tell me everything and i’ll tell you bits…the unimportant bits, to keep you happy. I’ve been getting loads of messages from guys over the last few weeks (because i’m a chick with boobies) rambling on about if i’m ‘single, single, single‘ and then being in a mood because I won’t reply, which makes me ‘ignorant.’ Lol.

BLAH.

I’m not ignorant. I’m just busy and i’m not someone who’s gonna waste your time, or mislead you. I think that’s wrong, as you can never get your wasted time back. But I read all your messages and i am very flattered. Don’t think I’m not…and don’t call me ignorant, just because I don’t reply. Lol. Use a different word like ‘swine‘ to get my attention. It’s rude and has reference to booze in it. It’s a winner!

If i’m being honest…There’s obviously someone i’m in a swirl about I think he’s awesome. I really fancy him. He’a a great guy. And when it comes to things like that…as in ‘swirls,‘ I’ve kinda got a one track mind…Meaning, if i’m in a swirl, or I like a guy…it’s pretty hard, for you to get me, to like you more…unless the swirl has…well…swirled off. Lol

Anyway, I gave ‘House of Solo’ love life advice and he gave me guy advice…We gave each other advice, on how important it was to refrain from ‘playing it cool’ …cos sometimes you can plays something SO COOL, that nothing gets done…He moved forward with his mode of action and if i’m being honest, over the past week, I’ve really thought about ‘my swirl‘ a lot. I’ve been busy and working…but…

Whatever…in that moment I felt all inspired, we both did…So we reached for our phones..

Unfortunately for him, his phone died and ran out of charge..Lol. WHAT A BALL ACHE. It ran out of charge RIGHT WHEN HE NEEDED IT.

Mine phone didn’t…

And with a. ..

‘I’m thinking about you…I’m kinda missing ya lots…’

… at around 10.22pm

Everything in that moment felt wonderful.

 

 

 

I Should Own Theme Parks…

Holy Moly! Hope you’ve had your version of the perfect Sunday. If you’ve woken with the worst hangover on Earth, or steadily made your way to church? If you’ve treated yourself to a hard work week lay in? Or if you’ve looked to your right and had to roll some dude or chick out of your sheets, because beer goggles got the better of you…? 🙂 Maybe you just shopped or went to gym? Either way, thank you so much for *tapping* into Wunna land and no matter what you ended up doing, know that that was what you were supposed to end up dong, I guess?

I got up at the *crack* of dawn. I swear cockerels could’ve crowed. Early Birds sang at my cloudy windows. Wunna land switch the *on* button on at soon as daylight began to peek through into Sunday and my Mum, my Dad, my brother, Ruby, Junior and I..all showered, glammed and dressed ourselves for a day out at Sundown Adventure Land, in Retford. Is it in Retford? I’ve been as a child before it spread it wings and developed into a childs theme park and OH MY GOD, let me tell you…I have happy kids, they are the happiest kids in all the land, BUT I HAVE NEVER, seen them AS HAPPY, as they were today at Sundown Adventure land.

It has just reopened for the season, Ruby chose to celebrated her birthday there with her family and honestly, if you have children under the age of 10…(and I have two) it is THE BEST LITTLE HAPPY PLACE to adventure them to. It was AMAZING! WHAT A SWIRL! Just seeing their faces burst with this overwhelming excitement *shocked* me. I had to fast totter behind them in thigh high heeled boots, this giant white faux fur, and skinny jeans pissing myself because I couldn’t catch up! My entire family of Orientals had to *tag team* these kids like a game of British Bull Dogs…on tequila.

So, I guess..’The Wunna Babies,‘ is a thing now? As i’ve noticed that I have an inbox filled with ‘come play with my brand’ requests for ME…Yet now…there are teeny tiny dashings of…‘We’d like to offer Ruby & Junior…’

So before anything THANK YOU SUNDOWN ADVENTURE LAND FOR HAVING US. The most amazing time, with the most amazing staff, service and childhood memory magic. You made my little giblets smile. I’ll probably not do it in heels next time. 😉

 Image may contain: one or more people, people standing, child and outdoor

Image may contain: 1 person, standing Image may contain: 2 people

Image may contain: 2 people, people sitting and indoor Image may contain: one or more people, horse and outdoor Image may contain: one or more people Image may contain: sky and outdoor

Today…I was nothing but MUM…and Oh Lord….before noon, I had swung on monkey bars, gone on a Robin Hood horse journies, been shot at in the Wild Wild West by cowboys (the last cowboys I met in Wunna land were strippers, so obviously, this was an odd change ;). ) I had crept through a witches caven and controlled their evil Tom Foolery, had fudge….lived Christmas again on their sleigh ride, gone on some Gold Diggers (no jokes 🙂 ) western rollercoaster train, flown on pigs with The Angry Birds, danced in Liquorice labs in Lollipop castles…chilled for some time on the sand in Captains Cove, had tea at Goldilocks’ house in Storybook land…Met the Three Little Pigs, fell off the wall with Humpty, followed the Yellow Brick Road, tinkered in Toy Town, let the kids ‘drive me for wine’ in a tractor and loved every single WAKING MINUTE OF IT. The wind was in our hair, life was all around us and we loved it. We sort of felt life today.

The day ended with Ruby asking if I could buy the entire place, so she could live in it forever. IF ONLY. If Dolly Parton an have a Mini Theme park, I can have a Wunna Land. It’d be ace. I could name the worlds after my favourite cocktails. 🙂 The ‘Prosecco Log Flume.’ (There’s no point to it, you just get to float around in diamond encrusted glasses, smash down the bottom of the flume and land in Prosecco. Lol. My ‘Tequila Slammer’ ride would be great. You just have a lick of salt, shoot a wormy tequila, go on the ride that just *shakes you inappropriately* until you’re ill and then suck the lime once done. 🙂 *DaaaDaaaaaaaaaaaa!*  My stop offs would be massage parlours, pap shoots and contour lounges. Let’s call the Disney Clan and tell them to shut down immediately, as they’ve no chance once I open.

We’ve honestly had THE BEST FAMILY DAY EVER. Infact, so great, that we all passed out in the back of the car….aaaaall the waaaay home. 🙂

Hope you venture to Sundown, as The Wunna Babies and I will be spending a lot more time there this year! 🙂

However, if you think my Sunday *pauses* here… you’d be wrong. You have another blog coming this evening…as I’m about to get everything ready to shimmie down to Manchester tomorrow, as I will be taking a cheeky, peeky into the world that we know as The Social Chain.

 

Growing Up, Saving Up & Diets

168084_129743227090557_3086303_n

Gosh! I’ve been eating like a piglet, a ‘chubba’…a Hungry Hippo on a period. I want it to be Summer and although i’m enjoying this Spring weather…(light nights, brisk, bright mornings,) as it leads us into a super hot June…my body is just not ready for it. It’s all kebabs and burger meat. I need fruit, salad and watching my weight to occur.

I’m just being a girl, but I am one, so i have an excuse…but the back of my thighs are all wibbly and orange peely. They’re having a giggle and my expense…literally whilst I walk. And even though I find it funny, as now that i’m old, i’m far less body conscious, as you just have to let nature take it’s course, you can’t be thirty something, with babies and expect to have the body of a 19 year old and men who expect that are tools. Women shouldn’t feel under pressure and if you’re in the right relationship, with the right guy, you won’t. He’ll love you anyway. Isn’t it gross when you hear boys boast about it their ‘young girl or cougar’ bonks. Like they’re willies are much bigger now. But whenever you see a fifty year old man with a 20 year old girlfriend….it shows you his level of insecurity and her level of ‘need dosh.’ 🙂 It also show the exact same, when you flip the coin! Don’t get it twisted.

Women are beautiful anyway and when their beauty or body fades, you better hope to God that her personality is worth it, as that’s all your left with when you’re growing old together. Lol.

Diet starts today, though, so forget all that!! HAHAHAH. Why do we always want to look good? Or at least look the best we can??? So bizarre???

I’m saying all this, but i’m finally at a stage, like I said in a previous blog where in which i’m actually so content and peacefully happy that i couldn’t give a ‘monkies’…and that’s not like me. I’m competitive, ambitious, annoying and thirsty for life, achievement…great bodies, love and all sorts. So, i’m either old and losing my touch, or growing up and sensible now.

You decide? (I need to snap out of it and make bras out of coconut shells.)

I love that exactly a year today…as in LAST YEAR, I was doing this….

Like this..

..with..

My little Emily Woodcock. (Who’s now moved to Bermuda, to live with her handsome partner Mark. THEY MET ON TINDER. I know! Amazing!)

And now i’m all chilled and calm, being ‘Mama,’ handing out my knitting needles and giving out good advice to randoms who think i chat shit. 🙂

I like it. It’s makes me smile. Fun is only good, when you’re with the right people. Fun with the wrong people ruins everything.

How are you all doing with your money saving goals? I’m still doing my savings chart thing… It was my New Years resolution, lots of people are doing it, or a version of it, where in which you put £1 into savings on week one, £2 on week two etc….I’ve now saved up around £40 (lol) whoopppeee! (Some are doing it with a penny isntead of a pound and that’s still great!) It’s a good feeling, as by the end of the year, I would’ve conjured up an extra £1300 or something near that?

I’m budgeting. I’m not spending nearly as much and i’ve had things like ‘do’s,’ birthday parties…all sorts. I’m giving myself a weekly budget and i’m loving saving up. Once it’s in there, you CANNOT TOUCH IT.

Life is much easier when you accumulate first,before you spend. That way you’re never living from paycheck to paycheck and having to go back to zero each time. If you can take time out of ‘fun’ or spending for a while…and gather your fine earned pences….(yeah life is a bit dull for a bit, but worth it in the long run,) then your plain sailing…aka HAPPY!

Get Saving!!!