Will you still love me….

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I had such a ‘drama’ Monday, after the most blissful & peaceful weekend of ‘family.’ I’ve got so much going on, that i’m filling myself with a delicious flourish of stress. It’s kinda topped up with that beautiful thing we call ‘anxiety,’ simply because i’m terrified. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me? So, i’m gonna go with hormones?

I’m back on the telly shortly…That’s worrying me. I’ve got a lot to organise with the kids…That’s worrying me. I have shoots galore and auditions coming out my ‘hooty..’ That’s worrying me. My love life is *whizzing* around me, almost madly…I don’t even know what’s going on? Yes. I get a lot of attention. Yes, I’m single.

However, I’m noticing that, if I ever begin to feel for anyone, I get stressed out, because giant *CAUTION* signs go up everywhere. I’ve always had a shit love life. So, it’s scary. Plus,  I’m absolutely emotional, so to me, it only means ‘danger.‘ I do not ever want to get my heartbroken again….EVER. I tread carefully. (Well…fuck that. I ‘stiletto.’)

I have travels and schedules and places to influence…Everything’s a juggle…Sometimes, I panic and I can’t even breathe. (Cue: Drama 😉 )

But the weird thing is, i’m HAPPY. I’m really happy and maybe being so happy, or so lucky, makes me worry because LET ME TELL YOU, my life hasn’t been so easy….Haha. It’s laughable.

Basically, I’m scared of everything right now, because i’m having to pinch myself…and I need to ‘Man up,’ count my blessings and get on with it, with panache.

Anyway…

At the weekend, I did Meadowhall with The Wunna’s and Ruby. (Junior was at his Dads.) We were pretty much treated like Meadowhall shopping royalty (and I thank you for that, because I don’t even know why?) It did feel wonderful though.

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We shopped and stopped at Wagamama’s. Then after cocktail refuels, toy stores, makeup counters, new hair (we all need those extra few inches,) and my brand new chakra beads…Life felt almost perfect.

Ruby: ‘Mum. You’re chakra beads are not working. You’re CRAZY. You’re still nuts. They don’t work.’

(She is right, though. Even though I told her to ‘shush.‘ At this rate, i’m gonna need to see Buddha and get blessed by monks, or something! Maybe i’m just not meant for ‘Total Enlightenment.’ Maybe, i’m meant to live this ridiculous life of pathetic glory, for your entertainment… Haha.)

I’m starting to believe that…

‘Hey Destiny…You’ve fucked me over. You’re off the Christmas card list! You’re chilling on the naughty list, with Cupid and a few Pretty Boy exes from 2004.’

This is how I feel right now…

Like I’ve drank 42 energy drinks, had a bottle of rum, taken all my clothes off, and then thrown MYSELF to the lions.

Then…because i’m not at all mental….

…I lost the car…I always lose the car…Oh! Wait!! I don’t mean?Ugh. I’m rambling. I didn’t REALLY lose the car! I kinda ‘misplaced’ it? Y’know, when you can’t quite remember where you left it? 🙂 My Mum, drove home, because obviously, I guzzled Aperol Spritzies…after The Disney Store.

Fair enough, there was lots of wine, brunches and fun over the weekend. I checked in with my friends…briefly. Got on top of work. Then just relaxed with the kids. However….one of my favourite moments of the weekend, was the ‘school mum..’ catch up…

(There was a kids birthday party over the weekend…)

Miss.Murphy: ‘What are you wearing!?! Lol. Who wears glitter shoes to a kids party..?? Haha.’

Me: ‘Shut up. Lol. These are my driving shoes.’

Sam: ‘Does Ruby want Pizza?’

Me: ‘It’s like the Real Housewives of Yorkshire…’

Mum: ‘I got asked to be on Real Housewives of Marbella, a while ago, but I said no…I’m too boring, for it!’

Me: ‘You said NO! As if you said NO!! I can’t believe you said no. I would’ve moved to Marbella, to have done it. Haha.’

( I live for that show…It calms me, when I’m stressed. Yet, so does the occasional Jeremy Kyle episode…? So, yeah…I’m mental. Ignore me.)

Other Mum: ‘Oh yeah. I’m gonna be flying away with him.’

Miss. Murphy: ‘You’re actually going now! What about…?’

Other Mum: ‘Oh…he doesn’t know..’

Miss.Murphy: ‘You said he was fat and bald…But he’s not at all?’

Me: ‘How have I sat here for an hour and not known it’s your birthday today!!’ 

Miss. Murphy: ‘So, are you seeing your date again?’

I never thought i’d be a traditional ‘school mum.’ Yet, there’s just something about this group of Mamas, that is filled with the ‘sexy.’ They’re actually not traditional, school mums, in rain macs. They’re alive. They’re fun. They have designer shoes that read ‘LOVE.’ Louis Vuitton handbags and possible stables…’

They’re, what I call ‘Prosecco Mums,’ and I love them, madly. I’m like the tragic misfit of the bunch. The single, no husband, disorganized one, with a suggestive Insta profile…

We’re all really different from one another. Yet, w’re all great women. Confident women. Great mothers and well, I just really enjoy they’re company.

Then all our kids ruined everything and shoved tall plastic, slush palm trees, in our faces… 

At that point, the gossip got censored…

My inbox is * pinging,* almost every minute, with people asking me about my love life and my last date etc…

All I can tell you is that, the guy that I did the Manchester Airport date with, was wonderful. He says he wants to see me again, and I definitely will. I found him really sexy and confident. He’s smart and thoughtful. I liked him. I’find him interesting…I want to know lots about him…I’ll definitely be meeting him again. (I’m only one ‘meeting’ in. So it’s all ‘early doors.’)

I’m just treading carefully…Like I said, I’m not bothered about getting my heart broken, right now, when I have so much going on…

I eventually want to fall in love. I’m a true romantic. I want to be swept off my feet. Adored. Respected. And y’know, in that one meet up, my date was that! He was a REAL MAN, which made me notice that I’d not only been looking in the wrong place for love, but i’d wasted a lot of my time, on ‘little boys.’  At 37 years old, I don’t need to be doing that!

When it comes to love…

…this time..because obviously i’ve been married three times and had numerous flings and relationships..I want to PROPERLY fall in love. I want it to be stable and forever…with no stress. No drama.

And I do want to just say, that even though on paper, i’ve dated, romanced, flinged, loved, married, divorced, sexed..and well…just all sorts, with men, all over the world.

DO KNOW THAT….

… I never did all that because I was a floozy. That’s one of the biggest misconceptions about me. I’m a love bunny. There were options. I was young. A glamour model. Off the telly…Growing up in Hollywood…All sorts.

Yet, I never was and still not a man eater. I’m non judgemental. I’m modern. Yet when it comes to love, I’m quite ‘fairytale.’ I’m quite traditional…I’m a hopeless romantic, with a capital ‘H.’

I’m tragic…

So, every single time, I went into these encounters, with men, boys, gents, or misfits..

I always hoped (like any girl or woman,) that they would love me forever.

It just didn’t and still hasn’t quite worked out that way….

It’s actually only when I suddenly realise, that they guy i’ve been chatting to, or dating, only see’s me as  a ‘bed notch’ or someone they daren’t date… It was only THEN…at that point, when I HAVE to  file the encounter under ‘casual,‘ and ‘take it on the chin,’ without being embarrassed.

So i’m accidentally, a sassy, sexy, modern day woman.

The ‘Brand’ goes alongside that….and that’s fine with me, as it makes me very ‘now.’ It gives me the necessary ‘street cred.’ I’m swag. I’m cool…I’m…Blah, blah….

You get it…

Y’see, when it comes to WORK, I am that. I’m fire. I’m determined. I’m ambitious. I’m a glamourous, kitty DIVA, sprayed over, in solid steel, showers of glitter. Champagne pops around me and naughty winks, fill my walk way…

When it comes to love…I’m the opposite.

I’m not someone who really wants random casual sex. I love sex. But i don’t play a numbers game. I want to feeel a connection.

Plus, If i’m honest, I can have sex with anyone… I have an inbox full of offers…almost every few minutes.

That doesn’t make me feel mighty. It’s flattering. I appreciate the ‘adoration..’ Of course I do….

If anything it stresses me out, because I think, ‘how the hell can I have so much attention and not find Mr.Right. That ONE MAN, who will truly love and treasure me forever?’

I’m ready to fall in love…

I’m just scared to….

It makes me anxious…

Anyway…

Away from all that…Sunday morning was great because before Meadowhall, I got to chatter to Lil’ Sam Reece. I shouldn’t call him ‘Lil’ as he’s pretty grown. He’s a good guy.  I’ve referred to him as ‘Tats’ on this blog before.

I like waking up on a Sunday morning to a Reecy phone ‘ping.’ We’ll just have brief morning banter. ..then get on with life. We chatter in ‘spits & spots’ a lot. We both always have really shit love lives…We’re both ‘Yorkshire.’ We actually get on well. It’s easy. We wired the same way. We have the same banter.. This Sunday we talked ‘car bonnets/hotels and flat caps.’ 

I was actually gonna meet him for drinks..But I ended up doing Meadowhall instead and he ended up doing boy drinks…

But he’s a good guy. So I have a lot of respect for our Sam. He’s a good buddy…I’d see Sam as the kinda guy, i’d go for a drink with and kiss in the elevator when no one was looking. Haha!

(That hasn’t happened, by the way, before you all get excited. But i’d definitely kiss him in an elevator…It’d be a waste of ‘sexy’ people, if not. I don’t like to waste sexy people. You only live once.)

Right! I’m off!

Have a fantastic Tuesday!!

I love you.

Chrissie x

ps/ I’m about to step up my game…So strap in!

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Birthdays, Chill Mode & Manchester on Monday

I think i’ve just let my body embrace ‘chill mode’ and this isn’t any normal kind of ‘chill mode,’ this is the ultimate, soft landing, let your world sink into deep relaxtion, as a release mode.

I feel like i’ve just jollied in from the LONGEST work week ever. I can feel it all in my back, all tense. All knotty. It was just one of those work weeks that just kept going and going, with early mornings, late nights…and not even nearly enough wine.

When my body is still ‘running’ it does the job and gets on with it. YET, there was just a moment, on Friday night, where in which I tip toed away from the bustle. (I’ve worked A LOT over the last week, but i’ve felt it? Friday was also Ruby’s birthday…She’s now SIX :)..so even at home, it’s been ‘go, go, go.’ People, plans, giddiness, all sorts.) But yes, I looked around me, at the bustle and I snook away for a second, to have a chill, just a little old lay on my good old bed. (Total Granny. 🙂 ) And as my utterly glamourous head, hit that extra soft, feathery pillow, almost as if it had happened in slow motion, my ENTIRE SOUL felt a strong *clench* relax and slooooowly release me from a lofty height of tense stress. It was BLISS. From that moment on, I was in a euphoric state of kitty chill and I think you just need those moments to recoup. It’s the balance. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about relaxing. If you work hard, you deserve it.

I have Ruby’s birthday weekend to delight in for the rest of the weekend…and to be fair the babies have been wonderful. Their little faces are lit with glee. Ruby’s so happy to be six and Junior’s so happy to skank extra pressies, because it’s his sisters birthday and he’s the baby, so we can’t leave him out. Lol.

All sorts happened last week. ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I pissed ourselves laughing, as we ventured out to what I’d call ‘foreign lands,’ lands that I had never been a part of before to collect awards. TWO AWARDS. Lol. We won the lot! Yet, we had to ‘copper up’ to afford to buy booze, because they didn’t accept card and we didn’t have any cash on us. Well, we spent the cash on being charitable, which although lovely, and Little Miss Fairytale won Daffodil biscuits :)…kinda annoying when it comes to feeding my alcoholism. ‘Lady Shizzle’ who went with us, (I did vino with her, the red sort, before the event,) had to leave us to it, to journey home and dumped a handful of 20 pence pieces in my hand, which i was tremendously grateful for, as I could then afford a Sol. Lol. ‘Fairytale Blond’ got a CUPPA TEA at the pub before and then a JUICE Lol…at the event thing. I was filled up with wine, probably up to my little squinty kitten eye balls.

The rest of my chick friends, are all on ‘time of the month‘ vibes, so everything is all a little stressy or a littler tender. It’s delightful. It’s all hair extensions, blond bits and grumpy faces, with stress.

We’re all eating out of that FILTH DRAWER like desperate chimpanzees on the look out for….(Lol…sorry, just giggling at the time Firmonnell kept carrying around this banana with her, like her utter LIFE depended on it, like it was her weird BEST FRIEND. HAHAHA!)

‘Why do I constantly have this fucking banana in my hand?’

‘What’s that on my desk?’

‘Firmonnell’s banana!’

I am eating like a fat Oriental pig. It’s disgusting. I mean, you KNOW you’re not in Hollywood anymore, when you’ve gone out of your way to HIDE a fucking BACON SANDWICH from Greggs, in a drawer, that you can easily access, with one, left hand swing, if you fancied a bite. I’m not even left handed, so it’s my emergency arm.

I DID that!! That is what I have become! Waist trainer? I’ve probably eaten it, with a side of pork dumplings? 🙂

And there’s me thinking, ‘Ooh, I have a bunch of events and shoots that start in March, so I’ll get in shape, eat well and get skinny for them…’

Oh yeah, totally smashed that goal…

I mean I head to Manchester in Monday to go have a cheeky peeky behind the Social Chain walls. I snapchatted Steve…Steven Bartlett and asked if i could go…and he agreed. So I get to meet him to! Couldn’t be more excited for Monday! Can’t wait to meet everyone. Can’t wait to blog about it all….BUT I’M GONNA BE THE CHUBBY VERSION OF MYSELF. GREAT! I’m mean to be some crown wearing glamour puss for crying out loud!

I bet they don’t hide bacon sandwiches in drawers! No! They’re decent human beings….all creative and hard working….all….

I hope they have cocktails?

The funny thing about all this, is that when I made my Gino’s appearance, remember that blog….at the end of last year….I had made a bet at the Prosecco bar with House of Solo Magazine owner Abeiku Arthur….I had started watching Steve’s Vlogs every night and getting into them and then began Tweeting about how much I loved them. ‘House of Solo’ Abeiku Arthur then decided to Tweet Steve…and I correctly predicted that he wouldn’t get a reply, yet Steve would ‘like/favourite’ my Tweet.

What I didn’t tell you, was that I also predicted that I would be IN THAT OFFICE in a couple months. 🙂 Lol. AND *BOOM*….Monday, I check in!

Like, I said, I’m really excited. I can’t wait to tell you about my time there…I go on Monday and I even kept my Diary completely empty for Tuesday, whilst I’m still in Manchester, so that I can blog it all accurately…when it’s fresh….

Facebook Msg: (PE teacher from Malta) ‘Heeyyyyyyyyyyy, not out living the high life this evening? *Add kissy face emoji’s here.*

Whatsapp Msg: (London Business Man)

‘Your obviously too in demand these days x

It’s so bizarre, because both of those guys are from my ‘last year’ and they both decided against pairing up with  ‘Wunna land…’ I hadn’t spoken to them….Just got on with doing life….It all *zoomed* into the beginning of ‘dreams come true’ and then just like that, they’re back *tapping* on my Cyberland door. Both lovely humans. I wouldn’t date either of them. But they make good friends. Men must like women when they are headed to success? Well no…it either makes me more attractive to some OR makes other guys just feel defeated, like there would be no point in trying I’d never go for it….

But right now….I’ve got to go back and tend to organizing the rest of Ruby’s birthday weekend…

Love you all!

Chrissie

 

 

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Busy Times, Balance, Good News & Stress

Busy day, so busy that it sort of border lined on the edge of stressy. I stayed positive through it all because let’s face it, I don’t have it bad and nor do I ever partake in letting stress get the better of my kitten self. However, on the whole, I just believe that things should be dealt with positively, as stressy manners are ungraceful. It can turn ‘pretties’ into animals with a quick dash. When it comes to love or life, taking educated baby steps seems to always work and keep you out of trouble. So, to those of you who are fumbling through mayhem, be it physical, mental, emotional or financial…work smart and not hard, that is the key to all success. Yet makes sure that everything you are giving is of value…then of course have a rummy cocktail and share the positive glow with others. I mean, fuck it form a joyous conga line and you know how much I hate conga lines. They always seem so awkward at the end, when the fun is drizzling out and people don’t know if the ‘conga’ part of the line is still going or has come to an ‘everyones gone to the bar instead’ end? Plus when your eyes follow down the line, you will notice that everyone isn’t really having fun. They’re sort of just ‘going through the motions’ and pretending that good times are occurring. Honestly, watch one closely, it’s only the one at the front of the line that is actually have an ‘arms up and everything’ blast.

A lot has happened today, people suffered from ‘Blue Monday,’ other’s bought rose gold candle holders, some thought that chicken and bacon toasties lessened in calories if they were microwaved and my other chick friend, who is of an extreme girly nature, was FORCED TO DRIVE a giant yellow ROOFING VAN to work, after reading a note that said,

‘I’ve gone to work without you, but left you the van.’ 

All i heard as she burst through the door was..

‘Chrissie! It’s digusting! I’m driving a giant yellow van and it’s filled with bits of food, cigarette buds and all kinds of crap. I’M HAVING TO DRIVE THAT AROUND.’

I pissed myself laughing simply because it’s not every day you get to make like you’re a glammy roofing service.

‘Hey, I wear heels and can fix roofs and shit.’

However, I will tell you that I am a GERMAPHOBE! I would’ve literally DIED if I had to drive in a ‘bits of food everywhere’ van. I’d have to close my eyes and not touch anything, which would be rather awkward when trying to operate a moving vehicle. The van and I would have to contemplate one another’s existence and it’s a simple fact, we just wouldn’t get along.

‘Drive me!’

‘You’re mucky!’

Okay, away from that, I am mentally busy as well as physically busy. I’m going through ‘ups and downs’ that i’m choosing to worry about. Yippee! Lol. I need to chillax a bit instead of stressing my glamourous self out. I’m hoping for the best and expecting nothing. But yes, I need to worry less about the things that I can’t control. Once you’ve batted that glitter ball out of the ball park, you’ve just got to let it fly until someone jumps and *catches* it.

HOWEVER, along with the stress, i’ve blessed with a balance of really great news. I’ve received some wonderful emails today, that have again ‘shimmied me up rung’ that little bit higher. And to be fair, there was more great news, than ‘blue’ news…so on the whole, I’ve done pretty well. I always think it’s important to notice your personal ‘achievements’ (and it’s hard when you’re highly ambitious) because your goals are so far stretched. But if you can’t *pat* YOURSELF on the back once in a while, then your soul is never satisfied and to me… that’s highly unattractive. Be ambitious, but smell the roses.

I have a few things coming up this week. I’m setting up for a Chrissie Wunna ‘Cocktail Tour.’ There’s more about that later and you’ll hear about it, because i’ll force it upon you. 🙂 but basically there are now so many places that are inviting me over to ‘tinker’ that I might as well go on tour. But i’m not stupid, at least it’s a tour where I can get …pissed. 🙂 The good thing about this tour,  is that you will have the opportunity to join me…as days out with moi, are going to be up for grabs.

I have a few interviews with magazines that ‘wave the flag’ for the things that I love and represent. I’m getting booked up and i’m getting booked up fast and for some reason i’m not able to keep up with my social media? It’s hard, as when you’re busy, finding time to constantly post ain’t easy. You’re my audience and my current success has been frisbeed from both the ‘social’ world and all things Cyberland. I owe you everything. I never take ti for granted. So yes, I need to post more socially.

On Wednesday I’m headed to a Celebrity Makeup Masterclass and I’m going to be finding time to hang out with the lovely Lisa Appleton and Liam Halewood, who I did Blackpool with last week, as we comitted time to Mexican cocktail

Lisa’s just got back from Spain, after holidaying with my other buddy Mark Byron. (I’ve just seen the pictures of it all in the Daily Mail today and it just makes me giggle. Lord knows what those two got up to, on Spanish soil as they are literally the funnest people that I have ever encountered. If they see a ‘good time,’ they will go forth and embrace it.)

But yes, I have a lot to tell you however I can’t do it now.

Life has changed fast.

I love you…I’ll chat tomorrow.

(I’ve just recieved a whatsapp message…?’ )

London Business Man: ‘You’ve forgotten about me.’

 

 

 

Shredding, Accents & Quality Street Choices

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Sometimes in life you’ve just got to ‘shred’ shit. Y’know, take all the stuff that doesn’t mean too much to you and with courage, a smile and a whole lot of ‘Va voom’, group it into a bundle and shove it through the shredded.

Today there was an air of stress, it was calm, it was for no real reason, yet there was an air that swirled slowly, meandering, wandering, looking for bait. It danced around each being that surrounded me and as it passed, it touched each kitty soul causing that being to be caught up in a case of ‘grey fuzz.’ No one knew why, no one knew how, but it caught us all, like a grey glitter cold that couldn’t be shaken off.

Now, by nature, I’m a positive soul and I am a being who can shake ANYTHING OFF. Anything. So i focused on lightening the mood with foolish wit even I myself felt the stress. But I refused to fully commit to a grey ‘limbo’ of uncertainty. Instead, i swung home, breathed it out and got on with life merrily.

*Cue SHREDDER…Lip gloss here.*

Away from all that, life is pretty great. I’ve got a lot going on and i’m balancing it in heels. I’m feeling powerful. I’m feeling shattered. But i’m feeling like a support system and i am at my BEST when i am in a role of support.

I definitely got described as ‘Attitude with Umph’ today and I’ve certainly made the executive decision to choose the next guy i commit to, by assessing his choice in Quality Street. (If you do not know what that is…a Quality Street is a foiled wrapped English choccie, that is shaken into a tub or box and the sold to us for our delight.) Everyone has a favourite, everyone knows the ones that they avoid and i’m a being who will JUDGE YOU on your choice. Lol. It’s vital.

I saw a blond walk away wondering why ‘everyone has left the Strawberry creams?’ I witnessed  an ‘about to go to Marbs’ Blond state that ‘she would eat any really’ but her favourite would always be a Brazil nut and then a Brunette proclaim that she was ‘definitely a Golden Barrel kinda girl.’

I’m a girl who will go for the blue foiled wrapped coconut Quality Street, every time. EVERYTIME. I don’t enjoy the messiness of a Golden Barrel, or Srawberry cream. I’ll eat them if i have to, yet i never HAVE to, so i’m safe. I’m allergic to nuts. So that’s a ‘no go’ and so, the coconut blue foiled choccie choice is my favourite. If you like that too…we should date. Lol

I’ve got so much going on with Mummyhood, work and blogging. I’ve got a social schedule that i daren’t even *peek* at, as incase i can’t fit it in. I do feel stressed, but i know it won’t stick, so i’m fine.

I’m looking forward to a ‘just me’ break and when i say ‘just me’ i mean time where in which i do what I want. I’m booking a trip away for a weekend. I only need a weekend as i’d miss the children far too much and quite frankly, i’d get bored on my own. I like breaks in small doses, as i’m not used to them.

I’ve got the Leeds Lifestyle Awards, the Blogoshpere Magazine thing, I’m currently working with this amazing company where in which ‘celebrities’ (i’m not a celebrity, i’m just infamous) and well when summoned upon we get to design our very own tshirt, for a charity of our choice and with each tshirt sold, all the pennies from that sale head towards helping the cause that you have handpicked. How lovely right! I feel honoured! As if! What a brilliant idea! I love things of that sort. A creative way to raise awareness.

Life is currently great. I’m focused on getting things right and accurate and organized in my head. When you write things be it for a living or for pleasure, work, or play, in any form…you always have DEADLINES and i’m someone who works even better under pressure and when the going gets tough.That’s when my ‘ooh laa’ flourishes and i nail it. So i’m all good. Deadlines…eat cha heart out.

Today i got asked why i like guys with accents? Do i? I didn’t think i had a preference, but i must if someone noticed it, right?

I enjoy people from other places, so i enjoy an American accent, a Southern accent…the list is endless, which means i’m not too picky. Yet it’s less about the accent and more about the fact that it’s different to Me, so it’s interesting. They’re from another place, they have a story to tell that’s different to my normality. I find them more interesting, i guess subconsciously? It’s definitely not deliberate. However i will say that you will lose me at ‘Ey yup!’ 🙂 Not because i’m not down with a Yorkshire boy. I AM YORKSHIRE. It’s just really normal to me…that it’s a bit less interesting than what my mind is accidentally seeking?

Enough of the banter.

I need a wine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big Head… Fuck

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I’ve definitely just been called a ‘Big head fuck.’ HAHAHA. Anytime that happens and you can *pause* and then have both parties piss themselves over it for a good moment, you’re winning. In fact, i got called a ‘Big Head Fuck’ simply because i previously rated myself an 8 out of 10 on the hottness scale (which I am…lol…i’m not too hot, yet certainly above average.. 😉 ) and then asked, whilst looking at my mirror image, ‘who was hotter?’ I’m good like that. (Oh shut it, i’m joking.)

What I actually find hilarious, is the simple fact that the other side of the phone said those words as their LAST ENTIRE words of the day…’BIG HEAD FUCK, ‘ then..fell asleep…on April 1st, 2015…and apparently with their goolies out, because the sleep naked. ‘What!? There’s nothing wrong with that! I’m about to go to bed, after this conversation. I’m in bed naked.’

Goolies crack me up. It was only at work today that i was showing the boys the kind of messages i get sent. I MADE them look at willies that other delightful people of the world had sent my inbox for kicks and wee’d myself with laughter. After that I whopped a mini beer fridge by plants that I had bought Adam for his house warming gift. I actually get on with Adam (Baby Ad’s) really well…We know quite a lot about each other and chill quite easily…so i bought him a mini beer fridge, because he deserved it. Yeah, yeah, not really a useful gift. But fuck it…he’s 18 and i’m awesome….a mini beer fridge is all you’d need in our book. (He actually texted me this evening to thank me….which means he has good manners. Well done sir!)

Then i got called a ‘Big HEAD FUCK.’ 🙂

What else?

I’ve been enjoying being a Mum. It’s nearly easter. I’ve been spotted everywhere. I mean someone text me this morning, to say the had passed me…yet didn’t bother stopping me to say ‘Hi.’ LOL. If you see me, you can actually stop me and say ‘hello.’ You’re not intruding. You are openly welcoming with warm kitten arms. Like I said…i’m good like that. Innit. (Wiggle…wink.) I’m not going to shun you. I’m far too social for all that. I’ll banter, flirt and giggle…then shun you. 🙂 (Oh shut it. JOKING! Sometimes. 🙂 )

This week is going really fast. In fact this entire year is. But this month i must be happier because I failed to get my stress rash! Yippeee! Nothing’s really pissed me off because i’ve been having lots of fun, enjoying life, working hard, being Mum and chatting to ‘the boy.’ It’s all sort of put me in good stead for utter balance…which as you know, i think is the most important thing. A bit of everything is good for you…no matter what anyone says.

(I’m currently having a flash back of a conversation that I had earlier, where in which a being told me that the had dry humped someone on a carpet, and was soo pissed they couldn’t remember. LOL. I stated that that meant they were rubbish at sex and went in for what i call the ‘four pump sherlock.’ Gross! I have no clue why i’m flash backing such…as i have this theory on flashbacks being not at all a mental fling, yet more of an emotional tie. The moment you flash back, simply flags, and pin points the actual emotion you felt during that minute, hour, second, phase. It’s the emotion of it all, how you felt, that acts like a trigger and not the thought of it. So, fi you’re remembering something, the way you felt at that time as been triggered in your present. Does that make sense, or so i need more wine?)

Isn’t it weird when psychics tell you that YOU TOO COULD BE PSYCHIC. Have you hear that before? I have! I’m not psychic for shit. I have no clue. So how the hell could I tell the future well? I mean i could listen and then make up a bunch of shit to ease the pain of worry. Yet that’s not some kinda of sex spooky gift..that’s lying for dosh. I just met a being today who said that i too could practice her dark art if i wanted. It made no sense to me…i adore a reading, but can i give them…not even nearly.

ALSO! How weird is that new Usher song! The one where he’s rambling on about how he’s dating a new girl ans she’s a stripper, but it doesn’t matter that she’s a stripper because he thoroughly understands that it’s her dream to make a buck that wa and that she is just taking care of her business? WTF! How tight is Usher! HAHAH. I mean, surely if you were Usher, and you’re new bird was stripping, you’d say her from such a life with your gzillion dollars and prevent her from having to shimmie shake it for dodgy men for £20 a pop? Yeah, yeah, he says in the song, he makes enough for the two of them. But honestly…lol…let’s not be tight here. There’s letting women pursue their dreams and then there is just being tight. 🙂 I understand that the ‘message’ is meant to be positive. Yet the fact that it’s done to some calm, love song melody pisses me off! It’s far less great, (a better way of saying, ‘soo much shitter’) than Wyclefs..’Just cos she dances go..go..’ sing a long. Such a weird song. I rate Usher. But that tune is…well…crap.

There’s actually quite a few good love songs pottering about in the charts right now isn’t there. The whole Ellie Goulding ‘love me’ thang, Sam Smith and his ‘next to you’ laa dee daa.’ I’m impressed that everyone is finding love in everything..just like moi. However  it is nearly Summer and I always believe that people just forget about love and do flings in bikini’s. I don’t, as i’m always on the scope for my ‘happily ever after.’ In fact, ‘the boy’…the one that i’m constantly talking too, told me that he wishes he had met me 4 years ago…(meaning that he could’ve been the man that married and did forever with…) How sweet is that! Points scored and noted.

Notice how i focus in on the good bits and not on the fact that he called me a ‘Big head… fuck.’ (All in good humour. 🙂 LOL.  That’s the key to happiness, which is the key to success. I’m sure. Don’t ask me. Ask Oprah?

Learn it. Live it. Enjoy life.

(Shit, i’ve finally managed to update my iphone! JESUS! That took some doing. I need to partake in less selfie taking, and clear out my storage more frequently. What a ball ache. NOW….it’s done.)

Wunna.

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