Love, Lattes & Chicks Who Tongue Dogs…

Woke up this morning with the blistering sunlight shining through my window, with all a calm breeze and peace as my bestie…I stretched…I kitty yawned and just like that BOOM! Bustle, door knocks, headsets, clipboards, fidgets, schedules and that darling bit of happy ‘rush rush.’ (Which i hate. I hate RUSHING. When you rush, you mess things up. I’m a glamour puss. I like to do things in an orderly glamourous fashion.)  It only lasted a good jolly moment…then once again everything went back to calm, back to normal and I could continue sipping my green tea latte. (Which is my favourite latte in all the land. I used to get one every morning in LA, on 3rd and La Cienega, unless I was on a diet, then i’d flirt with an Americano with skimmed instead.)

Sorry….i’ve just got distracted after watching a snapchat of a guy (i know his sister closely) line out 20 chicken nuggets on his mates drive for hangover kicks and type out a mini news report afterward. Lol I’m enthralled. I love it! Hahah. But anyway…

You all zoned in on the fact that I stated that my love life wasn’t rubbish yesterday, didn’t ya! I scrolled through messages galore from people all over the world either cheering me on, or tinkering for me details? When it comes to love, I’ve never got it right, have I? Yet, that’s because i’ve Mambo’ed into everything head first, twirling madly, in red dresses and sequins, with ‘cha cha’ arms (don’t actually know what arms they are) and with everything crossed. And don’t get me wrong, it’s always great to feel ‘crazy’ about someone (that’s what passion is and if you don’t have it, your soul needs a tequila to wake you up and smell the limes,) yet the ‘crazy’ is what you feel initially….We all love the ‘swirl,’ the initial attraction…the ‘ooh laa’ as I like to call it….Yet, the real love comes after….when time has passed, you’ve learnt about one another and you’ve only just realised how much time you’ve invested in a person because it’s breezed by so merrily…

Real love comes (that love that people say has been written about for centuries) when a true friendship has been formed, one of loyalty and trust, that has been built upon slowly, where you share laughter, secrets, respect and support. When you can look at that person and know that no matter what they’ll always be there…because they always have. To me…that’s what real love is. A best friend…that you do ‘non friend zone‘ like things with. 😉

Having gotten love wrong for so many glamourous decades…YIPPPEEEE (again doesn’t make me a hideous person, it’s simply just my story, it’s actually empowered me more than I ever thought it would,) I THINK, that no one in this entire world understands love more than I do, right now. I do get nervous. I do get frightened. I do things wonderfully. I do things badly. It’s normal. I’m certainly not all sass, i’m quite an affectionate soul…and yeah like anyone, I don’t fancy feeling love in order to maybe get hurt, right? Especially not at thirty something. That doesn’t make us weak, it kinda just makes us human. It’s not the right way to move forward. So I’m always open hearted regardless…as my confidence out weighs my moments of terror…and just incase i have to encounter a sassy bit of heartbreak again in the future …I KNOW THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. 🙂 Plus, I have loads of great alcoholic chick friends who will buy me cocktails to make me feel better..and then make fun of me for being a tool.

I’m an life soldier…but a happy one. And I am 100 percent confident that one day (even though i’ve had decades of being unlucky in love) i’ll make someone really happy forever. Forever being the key word…as I have made people briefly happy… Lol. I actually said this to my chick friend Lana (she’s strange and tongues dogs)..

Me: ‘What! I’ve got it in me….’

Lana: ‘What, like silicone?’

Me: ‘Yes. Actually. Please stop tonguing that dog near my Gucci Bamboo Top Handle.’

Lana: ‘It’s weird because you’re a sweetheart but everyone who doesn’t know you thinks you’re a dickhead. Hahaha. I know you’ve got it in you…’

Me: ‘Well, I wouldn’t say it, if I didn’t know it was true. It’s not like i’m sat here saying, hey yeah…i’d make a really great roller booting astronaut…cos i’d know i’d be shit at that.’

Lana: ‘There’s no such thing as that, idiot. What if Mr. Whoever has a shit willy..’

Me: ‘He doesn’t have a shit willy. Stop tonguing that fucking dog!! Honestly. It’s sick. No wonder you’re divorced.’

Lana: ‘You can’t talk…You better get used to having to tongue pets now that you’ve got Rocco…’

Me: ‘Eww! Rocco’s bouji. He’s not average like your pet. Lol. He’s an ‘IT’ kitten. He’s swag. He’s part of Wunna land. I have a whole online patch of land. You’re living it right now & you don’t even know. It’s like a glittery Matrix.’

Lana: ‘You’re such a big headed twat.’

Right, I need to head off quickly…and enjoy the rest of my chills. I have the Yorkshire chills to get back to and enjoy…I’m slightly confused at how grown my children have become. It’s weird. How the hell have I managed to raise them?

I’m also missing all my girls! Firmonnell, Fairytale, Hustle Barbie, Double B, Mel and Lady Shiz. I did actually wake up, thousands of miles away from them, look down at my phone and read a stream of whatsapp messages that kinda really upset me. Lots has happened and it was kinda weird because it’s not really something that I would be upset by…Yet reading the stream and realizing how much of a team we were, no matter where we were in the world or what we were doing….or whatever shit life through at us…kinda made me smile! I love being part of a team. We have each other’s back no matter what. I always wonder what we’ll all be doing in the next five years…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Business, Bloggers & Dual Action W******

I’ve ‘quadroupley’ booked myself out. No! That’s a lie. I’ve ‘booked’ myself out six times, in one go. No SEVEN! And yes, that sounds great because it means you’re all glamourous, you’re doing well and popularity is tickling at your tender kitten toes. HOWEVER, it’s a little more complex than that! I mean,  HOW the absolute jolly BALLS am I going to be in or at SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES, all across the nation AT ONCE??? It’s humanly impossible and certainly my own daft fault. Ofcourse! Yet, I don’t think boobies, cocktails shakes or charm is going to get me out of my predicament and more than anything that curdles away at my glittery soul. My charm should ALWAYS WORK, even when i’m dead. (And no, I’m not going to have a glamourous death. I’m just going to be 100 years old exactly, take a kip and rest peacefully. Knowing my luck, I’ll be tootling along, in my leopard print faux fur, on my granny mobile, in sunglasses at 100 years old, with a rum in my hand and some Morris Minor will come and run me over, outside a newsagents or something? My LA guy friend Ryan once said that i’d die by being ‘Savaged by Thieves!’ Lord knows why it thought it would be that exciting? I can’t even ‘book’ myself out appropriately for a weekend, let alone let thieves savage me to my death.)

Why am I talking about death, before 7am?

ANYWAY! Let’s get cheery!

So, yes this weekend i’ve said YES to everything, managed to get all my dates a muddled and now SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES are expecting me to show up, this weekend. IT IS THAT BUSY!

I’m doing really well and people are ‘signing me up’ left, right and centre, to sexily tinker down to their event, new bar, office or restaurant, literally EVERYWHERE, where one can ‘Socialite’ to deliver my dainty little view of life from their glitzy venue. (This is definitely because I went to Gino D’Acampo’s new joint and didn’t wear knickers on the glass floor. It’s pushed me up that lofty ladder of ‘popularity’ overnight. Lol Now everyone wants me on their glass floors in bars. 🙂 )

But from a real point of view. It’s a really exciting time for me, i’ve worked really hard for this, I’m going for it. I’m feeling SASSY, ON FIRE, UNSTOPPABLE and moderately invincible. I kinda feel like I am the Queen  of ALL KITTENS. Y’know, totally ‘sought after’ now. The word on the street, via other infamous and rather successful beings in the same field or media is that….

‘Chrissie’s smashed this personal brand/influencer thing down this year.. She picked up the ball and ran with it…’

So there you have it, it’s amazing what a little bit of glamourous street game, a blog, the ability to express via written word, a rummy soul, a case of candid banter, good humour, boobies and a lifestyle can do! I’m not scared of it anymore. More than anything, I’m feeling at my most powerful and it’s only just the beginning. I have lots planned and i’m GOING FOR IT. So strap in… (I love it when i feel like this, it makes me want to bathe in champagne like a ‘Girl Boss’ and shout at people for no reason.)

But… honestly I can’t organise myself for shit. Lol. How am I going to be in SEVEN places at once. This isn’t including my normal ‘non worky’ social commitments. Unfortunately, they get put on the back burner. Lol. Such a great friend. But at the end of the day, you have one shot to grab a bit of ‘opportunity’ and if you drop the ball…well….you lose. The people that care about you, love you, understand what you’re going through, I think you’ll find will always be there.You’ll be in a mad rush, or battling your career, but you’ll pause weeks later, look to your right and their still there, smiling, supporting you and letting you know that everything’s okay.

I’ll sort it all out. I just need to prioritize and get my ‘rejiggle’ on. My guy best friend Theo, who I grew up with in LA, (he’s an actor, model and has created his own TV show. I Know.) Well, he’s coming to London, all the way from LA to see me this weekend, whilst he’s en route to Madrid, so he get’s a priority ‘tick.’ PLUS, I’ve missed him being my bestie. I’ve missed all my LA besties. Yet Theo takes the biscuit! He’s the only male human (and yes he is gay, but buff as hell) to THROW ME OFF HIS ACTUAL ASS IN A GYM, so he could lean on a counter and other gents could ADMIRE HIS BOOTY. Not sure why I was sat on his ass now?

But Theo and I have been through a lot together. In LA it’s hard to ‘make it’ but we did, we’re doing it. And that’s something you kinda treasure in your careers. No one can take that away from you.

Theo: ‘Just ignore her….she’s crying over a penis.’

That was his quote the time we both ended up following boys to other States of America because we thought they loved us. I went from LA to New York, for some hideous boy named ‘Tommy’ and He went from LA to …where the fuck did he go? Florida?? I dunno? But yeah, for some other hideous boy…named ‘Eric.’

We both ended up homeless and had to get flights back to Los Angeles immediately. Hilarious. It was all in the name of love. 🙂 Theo is the most manly gay man you will ever meet. He’s a DIVA, but he knows how to take care of you. Lol.

Can’t wait to see him.

Other than that, I have the British Style Collective in Liverpool, three restaurants, Issho, Leeds, Manchester…..and London….fuck! Just lots.

It’s not the busy part that catches me out. I thrive on it all as it’s exciting and fun. I just hate organizing the busy part. I just like to show up and do my thang…and do it well.

As if I’m Social Media’s Favourite (Kitten Esque ) IT Girl!

I’m accidentally building an empire via just being ME and writing about it. I must have learnt more off ‘Hilton’ than I thought! 😉

Anyway, I’ve godda go. I’m sat in Flamingo Sheets writing this with no bra on.. before work starts. I have ‘droopy boob’ fear.

I forgot to tell you, but I was The Carleton the other evening and ran into my old school friend Kate. We went through our entire schooling lives together at the private school in Ackworth…and as we were sat around a table, was the stars shone down on us and ‘Harrys Mum’ was feeling down trodden because her husband had cheated on her, ran off with the other woman and left her holding the baby. She was quite upset about it emotionally, because obviously, it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s fresh. Breakups are always hard on the heart, when they’re fresh….Yet you do always end up finding the girl or guy of your dreams in the end….

So in her moment of desperate need and support….Kate turns around, completely ignores what she’s saying, fights over who is drinking who’s wine and says…

‘Wouldn’t it be great if all guy’s penises, were like dual action cigarettes and you could just CLICK a button on the side and all of sudden their cum would just taste of mentol, or strawberries.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love my friends!

I honestly know the best humans!

Ps/ Go check out  one of my close LA besties Theo Breaux!

 

 

 

 

A Fabulous Glittery Madness

‘Right! You two are gonna have to be straight now and look after me. I’m taking NO responsibility for getting back to this train station by 10pm. You have to get me here, in one piece, if you want me to come play drinking with you!’

And my two delicious gays, Liam and Lee looked after me like Kings! They were GREAT! They cared for me. They molly coddled me. They made sure I was okay every little stiletto tapper of the way…..and we had a BLAST! I had been refusing to go out around Soho after dinner, in need to get home. Yet, with a ..

‘Chrissie, it’s only 7.13pm!!! You’ve got ages!’

I ended up going….But fuck it. Liam had a show to shoot in th emorning. I had just come out of a great business meeting. Lee, is on the Westend and has just finished being the main in the Lion King. We had had cocktails, posh scampi and naughty looking pork scratching. And you only live once..

PLUS….

Soho is my old haunt. When I lived in London, I was literally out on the Soho glitter cobbles EVERY NIGHT! I was just off the Paris Hilton Show and everyone adored me, but i had started dating this Boyband guy…If you go back into my archives (via the search bar) his named was ‘Boyband Jonny.’ Anyway, he always wanted to go out because he was young…and we’d do a lot of normal straight bars…but I did notice that he ALWAYS wanted to every gay bar in all the land.

Liam, Lee and I…after we tap danced the time step on the tube…(I can totally tap dance incase you didn’t know…and in heels) found ourselves tinkering to G.A.Y…which is where Boyband Jonny and I would always go…every night. Big Brother Mark Byron used to be the ‘handing out flyers guy’ outside. Even then and because I was so trusting…I didn’t even think that Boyband Jonny might actually be gay? Lol. I mean GOD!!! We were in G.A.Y every night for crying out loud!!

THE CLUE IS IN THE TITLE!!

But we’re great now and he’s all gay and lovely…and certainly states that I broke his heart. I didn’t. I just got bored of being treated badly. I love those moments when us girls suddenly get all clued up and we grow ten feet tall and march forward. Were invincible at the point and beam because we’ve managed to remember that we’re utterly of worth!

Anyway, the best night was had! Yes! I’m far too old to be staying out with the Gays and partying. I’m not used to it. But loved it. We shouted out on the busy streets of London. We danced on the cobbles, in the open airs, singing out Pop songs.

‘If i could sing. I’d be a star. I’d be Rihanna!’ Lol’

We ‘West Side Story’ leaped and finger snapped our way through traffic, whilst selfie taking with the crowds and laughing out loud at our snapchats. We danced in bars…drank…swirled with Drag Queens…and drank….we lived, we loved, we played ‘cheeky’ with security…and we drank, drank, drank,

This security guard kept telling me off and whenever he did i’d snapchat him. Lol. He wasn’t grumpy. Yet one minute he’d be telling me off and the next saying that I looked like Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls and asking to take me home.

DUDE! Girls like me have TRAINS TO CATCH.

Liam, Lee and I swirled our magic, around a glitter mess of fabulosity.

‘I haven’t had this much fun in ages..’

And just as the boys promised….even when they were moderately pissed. They got me to the tube station…LORD KNOWS HOW! I was battered. Glamourously battered ofcourse. Definitely felt ill. But was still beaming.

Liam stayed out. HAHAHAHA! Happy 8am filming! And Lee had a singing show thing to get to by 11am. Where he was performing! Lol.

I got on that 10pm train. I might have been sick.I can’t remember. Liam might have also puked in his hotel room. Infact all my friend across the lands were doing sicks. Double B said she puked into a cup whilst driving around a roundabout. Her distant cousin Double D puked in someones bed? No…wait. He puked from drinking and woke up in someones bed…some girls bed…he was woke up by the sound of a baby! 🙂

The great thing is that I had lots of London fun. (Even though I have annoying London friends, who are moaning that I didn’t get time to see them. I was working..and well if you don’t ask to see me, then obviously you won’t. Lol. Why do people wait in the wings? It’s dull. So much happens in my life that you have to catch me when you’ve got my attention…or strike when the irons….gin. 🙂 )

However, yes, best time ever. Great catch up. Great business meeting…but knackered. It was fabulous because it made me remember how much I adore to chill!

So right! Everything in Wunna land is all about taking care of myself now. Don’t worry i’m not going to go nuts. I’m just gonna eat better, drink less…smile more…and all that good old jiggery. Get fitter. Chill! And not really stress.

I’m gonna love! I feel all inspired and fancy inspiring. Stay focused on what you want to do. Do it well…the people that adore you will always be around. They’ll stand by you and cheer you on!

And i have nothing to lose…:)

Enjoy this absolutely GORGEOUS WEATHER!

ps/ My love goes out to all of those involved in the Manchester explosions. That came as a shock! Hope everyone is safe!

 

 

 

Life, Sass and Naughty D’acampo…

I’m plate spinning and doing it sassy! Lots going on and yeah it can feel shit when you’re exhausted, but i’m lucky…and i’m happy because dolls…I got this ‘thang’ down now. One day…plate spinning won’t be as difficult 🙂 and when that day comes, I’m gonna kick off my sassy red heels, delicately pour myself a glamourous Aqua Riva Tequila (the purest tequila in the land..so pure that Coco Rocos actually TOLD ME whilst perched at a bar… and she created it, that it is the only tequila in the world that will not give you a hangover, because of it’s purity.The word ‘pure’ gives me a rash because it reminds me of virgins and GOD…yet, luckily when you shove Tequila on the end of it, it sort of becomes sexy. THANK FUCK.)

But yeah…I’m kicking off kitten heels and drinking pure TEQUILA and all that shit whilst I hold up my ‘Success Trophy’ and Google a Wunna Headline that reads that i’m worth ZILLIONS. 🙂

Anyway, I’ve been working hard…so hard that I passed out without realizing last night, in my full face, cuddling Baby Junior, as he clutched a boob after a burger. I need a Wunna office…a pink one with chandeliers…therefore I won’t have to dart across lands continuously…be a mother, a starlet, a worker and a champion all at once. I can sexily beckon people into my world and slide them a Prosecco as we talk creatively. I’ve noticed that i’m SUPER GREAT at creatively coming up with ways to market brands for other people…yet when it comes to me…I need someone to take that FABULOUS shit over.

I have THE BEST chick friends and the reason why I do is because the other day…well i knew already…but the other day I realized how ‘there for each other’ we are. We literally tell each other everything, EVERY DAY…300 days of the year…and let’s say, there was a moment the other day, where I asked for help because I needed them more than ever..and just like the Sassy Army of glamourousity that they are…and we’re all so open with each other…you should be jealous of my chick army…with a snap of their fingers,  a natter and a wink…it was sorted….I’d tell you what it was…but i’d get into trouble… so there. 🙂 I LOVE YOU GIRLS! They’re on my journey to ‘stardom’ with me, as weirdly it’s kinda only happened since they’ve come into my life…so they’ve watched everything develop, unfold and occur….right before their very eyes…and even though we all have very different lives and priorities…these girls have become my best friends.

YOU NEED AN ARMY LIKE THAT! One day, I’ll rope them all into working for me….We’ll wear heels and drink cocktails, Mel will scowl at people and Rachel with organise things in her headset.

(Our last conversation was about the cup size of our bra’s. Poor Webbo ..the guy in the office…had to sit through it and what Fairytale do a ‘I’m going to Monte Carlo‘ fashion show. She also said that she was going to have a sex toy party in her house and Mel switched it to a ‘candle party’ because she has too many toys. Lol)

‘Wow, this is role reversals…Fairytale is strutting about in red heels in her new house and wants a sex toy party and saucy Mel wants to buy candles…’

(The world must obviously be ending…grab yourself a life boat…it’s some kind of weird freaky life switch…. AND THERE’S NO GIN… Maybe i’ll switch with some goody shoed, quiet………..EWWWWWWWWW DULL….I can’t even type it.)

BUT WHAT THE FUCK! I HUNG OUT WITH GINO D’ACAMPO!

 

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Right, incase you all didn’t know, I am a huge fan of the Gino DAcampo restuarant chain. I wine and dine and chill there a lot. I went to the one in Leeds when it first opened, I loved it SO much that I wrote a blog about it…that blog was read by EVERYONE…to the point where it got sent around the staff the Head offices…you get the picture…everyone everywhere…(and I found it really funny, as it was sweary, cheeky and fun. It was authentic…it was very ME.) Long story short, I now have a Black Card for the chain and I’m a giant glamourous cheerleader for the brand… Simples. 😉

Tuesday….at Sheffield City Hall, I went to be part of Gino’s Live Show. I KNOW!!! As if!! I actally got lost on the way there and his perfect gentleman named Paul, who runs a record label, in his banana coloured shoes found me looking bewilidered and with a ..

‘Are you lost?’

Said,

‘I’m going passed that way, I’ll walk you there…’

Awww! How sweet! In that moment I was in love with Paul and his banana shoes. Kindness is sexy. He walked me all the way to the entrance…

‘I don’t know where the Stage Door is, but that’s the main entrance…What’s you blog?’

‘Chrissiewunna.com…Thank you so much. You’re my hero.’

And off he tinkered to do his own version of life! WHAT A LOVELY GUY! I need to bump into him again.

Anyway…I got to Gino…after winding through football hooligans and lines of people waiting outside City Hall to get a peek of the Italian Stallion. I was at and doing GINO LIVE.

If you didn’t know he’s currently on tour…and well…what a better way to promote a restaurant right, 😉 as he opens one shortly in every single place that hes touring! I love it! 😉

BUT WHAT A NIGHT! IT WAS SURREAL. The night was so great that I haven’t even absorbed it all in order to deliver it to you effectively! So without telling you everything…I’ll tell you bits. The rest will probably come out in other blogs, as I remember, as it is almost as if it wasn’t even real. As if i did Gino Live!

THAT GUY IS A STAR and I find him really inspirational. (The ‘Big Dude’ up above keeps plonking really inspirational people in my path right now..I have no clue why, but they’re circling me. Lol)

Anyway, I’m dead lucky, so before all the show started at 8pm I was with him all ‘behind the scenes’ backstage. We were on a stage and as I stepped forward to greet him with a…

‘It’s so lovely to meet you…’

He paused, looked at me with a warm serenity…and with smile and with gentle yet very direct eye contact, which means he’s pretty confident, shook my hand like he had known me for 100 years, there was sort of a ‘Daddy Vibe’ to him./a family Italiam warmth…and with a cuddle and pose for pictures  he said..

‘No…it’s really great to meet YOU…’

So, the show itself was wild and fun, tongue in cheek, filled to the brim with happy faces, there was madness, life, rudeness, comedy, laughter, love and an entire theatre packed to the brim with an energy that you couldn’t even buy. It was filled with SOUL. The place was wild yet so intimate.He created a bubble, an intimacy, that drew you into him like you were his best friend and not a fan, sat in a theatre. I watched everyone’s face, as I scanned the room. He even let any member of audience ask him any question throughout the whole show.

He’s a cheeky, naughty, sassy, sexy, tell it how it is, sweary, fun loving Italian show man. WHAT COULD BE BETTER. But he’s so down to earth and warm, get’s away with murder…I mean fuck, he fake snogged a granny, told one guy he was shit because he was ginger and would never get laid, said he’d eaten a ‘lot of fish’ in his time’ and laughed about it all the way…He pretend kissed girls because he ‘could,’ smashed open pasta on people’s bottoms, drank wine called ‘CUNTO’ and sang songs about how how much he loved his Mother. Lol.

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It was the most witty and entertaining time ever…Yet with all this…I told you there was a warmth, an appreciation for the people that showed up to watch his show, he was GENUINELY grateful, he told me…and with soul in his heart and a twinkle in his eyes…he gushed about how much he loved his wife…

‘I’ve been married to her for fifteen years now…She’s amazing. I couldn’t be with another woman, because no other woman would marry someone like me. She’s the most patient and loving woman in the world…We understand my role and she understands her role in our relationship…and that’s why it works…I love her.. If I was her i would ditched me 20 years ago.’

Swoon! I want a dude to say that about ME! Even if they don’t mean it. Say it, to me NOW! Say it! Say it!

Anyway, I’m in a rush because i’ve got to head to work…and i’m sat in my bra and no pants writing this on my bed…and i have Ruby to get sorted for school…

You should be inspired by Gino because he’s a guy that hasn’t had it easy, yet fucked that with a ‘Yeeehaa’ and made something of himself. He’s worth millions now, after being a 21 year old waiter who went around breaking into people’s houses. It changed his life…because he pulled himself together DID IT the right way! I love that! Everyone needs a story.

But he’s some Gino Trivia, that I found out before the show…

His real middle name is actually ‘SHEFFIELD.’ His favourite number is 71. His favourite place in the world is Sardinia. The most famous person he has ever met is Luciano Pavarotti.. If he wasn’t a chef, he’d be a Dentist. The thought of being an accountant bores him…He doesn’t support any football team…he supports his wife and kids…He doesn’t love the French. He’s outspoken. He’s lovable.

He is someone that looks as though he has a lot more to achieve. He ambitious…he’s going for it…and even though he’s already on top of his game…he’s got so much more that he wants to trophy! He is the most authentic personal brand that I have ever met. No one is like this guy and he keeps it real…He’s got his niche DOWN, yet certainly knows what he’s doing. But he’ll go for it and that is what LIFE IS ABOUT. What makes him a great personal brand because he has LIVED. (Like Moi.) You can’t fuck with the bastards that have lived, as we can do personal branding like superstars. 🙂 We’re smeared in raw love, openess, charm and swinery.

Shit, i’ve got to dash…Tell you more about it later.

If you haven’t seen the show…You MUST! There’s still some tour dates left!

If you have a Gino’s near you…GET YOURSELF A PROSECCO THERE. It’s my favourite place in Leeds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Chrissie Met Jack

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Friday morning of the Blog Awards and I threw everything into an overnight bag, from a toothbrush to a giant turquoise, sequinned  mermaid dress (I always pack light, because during my time in LA, I moved constantly. I hated having to carry everything with me and learnt to leave things behind, whilst always knowing that the lighter you packed, the quicker you could get away if you needed to. 🙂 )

Anyhow, I dashed to the train station and went from Doncaster to Kings Cross. It literally was a *whizz* of a train, but I’m used to travelling at a moments notice and what could be better than doing so with a much appreciated free gin and tonic and the Geordie announcement man, who kept telling really shit, yet excellently inappropriate jokes, that could’ve got him fired.

‘If you’re getting off at Peterborough…and GOD KNOWS why any of you would want to be getting off or going there…’ 🙂

Lol. Fuck it! You only live once!

That’s why I love travelling Virgin. It’s always so fun and you don’t actually have to be a virgin to the ride it. Who knew? 😉

So, most of the fellows who were headed to the UK Blog Awards that night, only had the Blog Awards to tend to. Lucky. I had two phone meetings on a train, a hotel business proposal, some guy trying to make me sign up to a reality show that I don’t want to do and then my delicious meeting the CEO of Yourfeed UK, Mr. Jack Parsons. (Look above. That’s him.)

So, let me tell you about Jack…Jack Parsons had asked to see me. The summons had come via Twitter and I was excited about it all, from the get go. It was a week after I had spent some time with Steve Bartlett at Social Chain (I was on the Everyday Steve Vlog) and after we fizzled through *busy* schedules, Jack and I managed to ‘diary in’ Friday April 21st for a meeting. I was kitty pumped. He’d read a lot about me and i’d read a lot about him…so I knew that tinkering through the busy London streets in my burnt orange (which was salmon) dress, my tippy tappy Gina heels, Little Mistress Faux Fur and rose gold clutch…was worth it. I had such an easy ride up there, so I knew that the meeting was going to be AMAZING. (I always judge how well my meeting will go, by the physical/emotional ‘temperature’ of my journey to it.  I couldn’t have had an easier journey AND my body was absent of wine. 🙂 )

I LOVE THAT DURING THIS BLOG MY LITTLE BURMESE MOTHER HAS WALKED INTO MY HOME, DASHED UPSTAIRS WITH EXCITEMENT AND JUST HANDED ME A PEN…

‘Look!!! Have you seen my SPERM PEN!!’

Lol. It’s a biro that has pretend sperm swimming in it, with the words ‘Happy Swimmers‘ printed upon it. And you all wonder why I’m might be mentally fucked? Haha! I love it. In her defense, she IS a sexual health Doctor…meaning a pen of that sort really is ‘the norm.’ Kinda like a diamond encrusted ‘bullet’ would be a regular fixture in my version of Wunna land. (Sorry, I’m getting a flashback of ‘Double B‘ telling me the story of how she once bought a ‘bullet’ got so excited and used it so incredibly madly, that she got ‘all the thrush.’ Lol. DYING!)

Shit. I’ve got distracted. I arrived in London. Platform 4? Everyone kept glaring at me. I checked into my hotel and took the easiest journey to 247 Tottenham Court Road to see Jack at Yourfeed UK, on what felt like the loveliest, most unstressful day ever.

Jack is one of the youngest and most inspiring CEO’s in Britain. (I seem to be meeting a lot of them recently, don’t I! You meet everyone for a reason)

He’s only 23…

Jack: ‘But I look fifteen…’

So Jack is currently being hailed as ‘The Prime Minister of The Millennials’ and a ‘Young Richard Branson.‘ Dashing titles aren’t they? Not bad for an inspiring, non smoking, non drinking, easy going, 23 year old CEO. But yes, he is on a big mission to connect 2 million young people to opportunities by 2010. It’s a HUGE challenge, but he’ll do it. I’ve never met a more SAVVY guy, who’s only 23 flipping three! And i’m not joking. I would never just say it. This guy knows everything he needs to know…and goes for it, with passion, skill and this confidence that proceeds him, yet it’s sponged in a humble kindness.

This Summer he is also doing a big ‘on the road’ Pledge tour…I want to be part of that! I’m in the mood to inspire…He totally said I could be. Booyah! *Wiggle Wink.*

Yet, at 1pm as I sat in what looked like a fun waiting room, with MTV playing on a wall mounted TV screen behind me, all the snazzy coffee machines infront of me, business reads on my lap, a ‘table footy’ thing to my right and variously placed giant cacti, surrounding a sign that read ‘HAVAS MEDIA GROUP..’ by lifts…there was a peace, a calm…a really positive, qiuet energy.

‘Hey, I’m Jack.’

(Holds out his hand.  Confident. Positive. Direct. Warm. I look up, stand up, shake his hand with a smile and follow him walking…)

‘Nice to meet you. Do I sound really common?’

‘Haha. No. I’m from Essex…’

‘I love Essex, It’s so bouji now. 😉 ‘

And that’s how it began…

He walked me to through the offices, whilst offering me a drink and led me to HIS office,

‘This is my gaff..’

…which had a fun brick wall, the word YOURFEED written in emojis and a naked Homer Simpson picture in the corner. Was he naked? Can’t remember? 🙂

A cuppa tea and a water were brought in…and life was great!

Straight away without fear, he sits back in his chair, grabs a black note book and pen and starts asking me direct questions, about my life…as he takes notes…and I loved that about him. He got straight to it. We’re both very different. Yet both dynamic and inspiring in our own special ways. He’s a lot more business savvy than I am. He’s real, he’s insightful, he’s inspirational and honest. He doesn’t wear a watch, he keeps things simple, knows how to work a crowd, build a crowd and is the most down to earth human ever.

HE LITERALLY KNOWS EVERYONE. All the most important people in all the land and they respect him for all that he has achieved and all that he is continually doing. He’s someone who CARES about what you’re doing…He’s a ‘tell it as it is’ kinda guy and is the first person in a REALLY LONG TIME, when it comes to business, to turn around, give up his time and offer to help me because he believes in me, finds Wunna Land interesting and just felt like helping someone…and for nothing in return, other than sharing his knowledge.

That’s special isn’t it! You don’t get that these days. Trust me. I know! Not only is that kind, but it’s also very clever…;)

Jack: ‘Now, I read that you don’t like really long winded stories…so I’m gonna cut it down and just hit the bullet points.’

( I liked that!)

He asked me about my story and we talked about my time in LA.

Jack: ‘What did you learn from living in LA?’

Me: ‘I learnt to hustle. It’s a town packed with the most determined and ambitious people in the world…and you have to figure out a way to get noticed, be talented and be able to get what’s yours! YET still be emotionally strong. I learnt everything I know about anything…in Hollywood, because I lived it.’

(And I did! I stiletto pounded that pavement. I worked. I hustled. I bustled. I modelled. I acted. I fell in love. Out of love. I lived!! Oh did I LIVE! But I began MY BLOG and wrote simply out of the love of expression…which 10 years later…would MAKE ME.)

He smirked. Sat back and with an..

‘I like you…’

He threw his his note book down on a desk..

‘I’m not taking notes anymore…’

and told me his story, where it all began, where it was now and where it was going to be headed, as he soon heads his passion Stateside, after championing the UK.

And from that moment on we just bonded, we just got along and work wise it felt great. It was a laugh. We chatted about everything. His work. My work. The work of other people. We laughed about it all. Laughed about ourselves. We told each other stories and HOW I DIDN’T TAKE GEORGE SAMPSON’S VIRGINITY and I called him ‘Royal’ as that’s how I expected him to be..

‘Royal? What do you even mean?’

‘Like a member of the Royal family! lol’

We pissed ourselves laughing.

But I was ASTOUNDED by how much this young guy knew about his world and business. I LEARNT SO MUCH IN AN HOUR AND A HALF  and i’m really not joking. It was genuinely one of the most helpful and inspiring meetings that I have had in…EVER! He’s that good! You would be astonished. I liked how savvy he was. I liked that he just looked at me, pissed himself…and liked me anyway. Lol.

But yes, he’s running Yourfeed UK. He has started a really great Vlog also. It’s real, it’s fun and simply excelling. I’ve started to really love Vlogs as they’re the future reality tv shows. I film the advert for my Vlog shortly…and can’t wait to start mine.

Jack: ‘Right, book back in my diary for again and i’ll help you…’

I’ve never met a more helpful business guy? I love people who I can learn from and we in that hour and a half, discussed so many ways where in which we could develop and improve chrissiewunna.com, into the ‘big time.’

He’s one of those business guys who follows through on his word. He stressed that to me confidentially.

‘If i say something to you. I will follow through with it… ALWAYS.’

I was bamboozled by how smart Jack was….and I respect him for that.

That was a great fucking meeting…I absorbed so much. I want to go on his Summer Tour.

Jack: ‘Can I just ask you something?’

Me: ‘Yeah…’

Jack: ‘You know you bought Steve that Gucci hat….

Me: ‘Yeah it was cool because i had written a blog about how it got to him and then he did a vlog, which showed the gift arriving on his desk..in real life…’

Jack: ‘Did you get you anything back, like he said he would…?’

I’d never really thought about it until then…but it stuck in my mind, as I left the office, *cuddled and cheek kissed* Jack a farewell…and then dashed back across London, back to my hotel to chill for a few hours, after a few drinks and a Mexican late lunch. I watched Real Housewives of New York and was reunited with my passion for Bethany Frankel. (My FAVE housewife of all time.)

Then I watched ‘Dinner Date’ which reminded me of my ‘Swirl.’ I can’t seem to watch it effectively without wanting to hear his banter beside me.

I used my chill time wisely, before slipping into my dress and heading to the UK Blog Awards…

I look forward to my next meeting with Jack…It was a really useful and insightful time…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cos you totally can…..

I got a message from my first ever hubby this afternoon, who was congratulating me on ‘my time’ as he put it. When we were tiny and in LA TRYING to be successful in our fields, he sort of excelled and before you know it, within six months he was on every tv show going, a couple movies and a then chilling on screens with Tom Cruise and Justin Timberlake. During that time, I chilled, I was a wife and a modelled. When we split up…I blogged..:)

We’re not very close by any means, yet we have this respect for one another for finally almost getting there…as his career sprouted early…(we moi as the love of his life) and then sort of *paused* and is maybe still *on a casual steady steady* right now, after a blast. My career, was always ‘steady steady’…potentially there…but just not quite…I’ve had *blips* where in which they could’ve *blasted* yet babies and life, just wasn’t quite ready for my party yet. (And if you’re a mum, I do not want you to think that you can’t do it all, you can’t. During that time, I THOUGHT I couldn’t do it all…but if i tried I could. You don’t HAVE to make sacrifices…if you are willing to so the blood, sweat and tears. And IT DOES pay off in the end.)

Anyway, long story short, we’re both *blue ticked* and doing well..both whole, kind humans…and both really ambitious people. Yet, he wanted to remind me of the time that I did a massive poo in our appartment in LA. So massive that it blocked up the loo and we had to call the Mexican maintenance guy ‘Jose’ to come and unplug it.

Obviously being the glamour puss that I am, I was devastated by this…Especially because we knew Jose and I didn’t want him to go through so much torture….and so I therefore turned to my husband, at the time…and said,

‘If you loved me, you would totally pretend you did that poo and take the entire blame for it. LOL.’

He wee’d himself laughing and let me tell you, Mikey was the kinda guy who loved like his girl, like she was his world, he’d die for me, cry for me and LIVE for me…BUT WOULD HE PRETEND THAT HE DID THAT FUCKING POO…nope! Lol.

So, I made him make the call to Jose, to state that our toilet was blocked and that HE had done the poo..HAHAHAH! (Sorry, I just find stuff like this hilarious. Mike was on a really big TV show at the time and I was a Playboy bunny. DYING.) And he went with it, out of love, but got narked off later, yet didn’t have time to get properly annoyed, because he then dashed out to go audition for a show that was about to hit our screen shortly…and that was ‘Entourage.’ Lol. That’s why you should be busy and date busy guys. They don’t have time to get narked off.

I’ve had an awesome day today and It’s been great because i’ve spent it with my family, i’ve managed to get through a lot of work…and it’s been balanced. If you’re a blogger or a vlogger and constantly in tune with ‘an audience’ you need these moments or real friends, to keep you in check. To make sure you’re authentic and not playing a version of yourself. (Saying that, people still don’t dare speak to me when they see me and message me afterward stating that they crossed paths with me? Just say ‘Hi’ I don’t bite. It’s so weird to me, because the chicks of Wunna land say it to me always and I never get it, as they ill freely speak to me…constantly…and know me. I am probably THE MOST easy going human you will ever meet. Just glammy with it. 🙂 )

Work starts tomorrow, everything keeps going…I’m looking forward to getting through this week, as I celebrate my daughter’s birthday and then head to Manchester to go shimmie down at Social Chain. (If you know me, you know i’m excited about that.) I’ve gone through literally fifty nine thousand emails today…well half of them…and managed to *tick box* the people, events and brands that I fancy teaming up with…and rethink the ones that aren’t maybe very Me. It’s not about doing everything, it’s about doing all the right things. I’ve learnt that lesson the hard way.

I went through them with a friend, yet my friend is very ‘yes, yes, to everything…’ so by the time she had got through 22 emails, she had already made a pile of ‘think you should do’s deffo’ to 19 of them. Lol. And I WANT TO DO THEM ALL, but whilst there’s just sort of me, and no team, I can’t get my head or TIME around it all. I told you, I need help.

I have a busy week ahead, but i’m going to chill through it and smell the roses. I’m not someone to get stressed over nada. I’m positive. I beam and right now, i’m very Girl Power.

Oh! And I had Mel ask me the other day if my actual real name was ‘Chrissie Wunna.’

She was immediately shot down by ‘Double B’ with a…

‘As if you actually know her and you’re asking if that’s her REAL NAME???’

But it’s actually a really common question. People ask me it all the time. I guess it must sound more ‘showbizzy’ than it is?

‘What? Well you never know, as loads of people have stage names?’

However, rest assured, Christina Wunna is my actual REAL LIFE birth name. And this is what I adore about my chick friends…they didn’t just *shrug* it off with a ‘okay cool…‘ they decided to come up with a MORE ORIENTAL NAME FOR ME…LMFAO.

Me: ‘What? Like Yu Ting Ho?’

Mel: ‘Hoe? HAHAHAHA!’

Like I said, life is great and even though it’s though, I’m on my way to new beginnings, good times and dreams come true, I guess..Fingers crossed.

Don’t forget that i’m in the Spring Edition of Abeiku Arthur’s High Fashion Magazine ‘House of Solo…’ I couldn’t be more honoured and well we do actually know each other well…yet still…being a part of his dream makes me smile. Plus, I’m totally being hailed as Social Media’s Newest It Girl and you know…after 10 years of writing this blog…that’s my FIRST BIG BREATHER OF ‘I’m doing it..I’m actually doing it…’ (And I think of that moment when I woke up at five in the morning, to get to that shoot, after working the longest week, with almost 11 more full works days to go after it…and I was shattered…But i did it….and because I did…I got a result.)

Please do support him and me…as he’s the loveliest, most hard working human ever…with a dream…and he’s actually doing everything he can to make it come true, as things don’t seem to be fall upon his lap as easily as they do on mine at times.

Image may contain: 1 person, text Image may contain: one or more people and text

Image may contain: one or more people and text

‘The world is her runway…/it’s all about where she goes, what she wears and who she’s seen with../She’s under constant scrutiny but takes it all in her stride, exuding confidence and perfect comfort in her own skin. She has an impossible to name cool factor..and exploits it in order to build a career in what’s becoming a legitimate and lucrative industry born from ‘it ‘ mania. It’s these qualities that make her such a coveted marketing tool for the world biggest brands..’

Loves it!

Before I go, I want to make sure you know that you can make ANYTHING HAPPEN in life. You YOUR LIFE and YOUR LIFE is SO PRECIOUS. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something and don’t make up a million excuses as to WHY YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING. Don’t waste your time, or energy and don’t listen to the people who ‘hate’ on you for trying. Just because they couldn’t do it..doesn’t mean you can’t. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. If you don’t like something, change it…Don’t be scared to change it. Life will always pull the rug from under you. Be that in business, in love, in general…But as long as you can pick yourself UP, every single time, without bruises and with a warm heart, a smile and an even deeper desire to succeed….YOU WILL FUCKING GET THERE. You’ll get there, if you put in the work. People succeed on purpose…they’re not lucky. I always say I’m lucky, but the truth is, I’VE WORKED MY FUCKING ARSE OFF. To be honest…I don’t know what’s going to happen to me…I just know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

And for the first time in my entire life….without me ‘just saying it,’ You could look into my entire kitty soul and know that this time..I really believe it. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Little Life Bits & Toupee’s

‘Y’know those fancy french toupee’s that people wear? We should all wear them…’ said ‘Double B’ to ‘Firmonell’ and the little Burmese Glamour Puss, in her designer hair, top knot. *Vogue.*

‘Chrissie! Did you hear her? She thinks a FASCINATOR is a fucking TOUPEE!!! Hahaha!’

‘A toupee is a little hair rug that a bald man wears you idiot! That’s going in the blog. We should wear bald man, head rugs always. Lol’

Anyway! I’ve had a busy time. Mentally, physically and emotionally..it’s been busy. I’ve been running in heels and clock watching all at the same time. I’m making sure i’m getting everything done, getting everywhere I need to be and doing it in good time and with grace.

I was stopped in the street the other day by a friend, of a friend, of a friend, who reads the blog. They gently pulled me to one side to tell me that they ‘loved reading it’ and that even though I seemed so wild and fun, there was this absolute sense of grace about me. And I liked that. It made me feel all lady like in a moment of ‘I am Queen.’ Lol. Then I got stopped in Greggs 🙂 whilst kitty fingering through 20p’s by another chick named ‘Katie’, who I’ve known. She’s always been ballsy and brash and really really great to me. She stopped me  with a ‘Chrissie‘ and then told me that I was ‘showing people how it was done.‘ Again! Made me feel awesome. And it’s those moments that fill you up with these buzzes of excitement..

My life isn’t at ALL easy, but it’s written out and I kinda use it as therapy, because once it’s littered out onto this screen, I’m free and it has ‘CTRL.. ALT …DELETED’ out of my system. I’m an emotionally healthy soul. I’m not being dragged off into dark dungeons for comfort and I’ve always said, that along with massages, good times and cocktails, it keeps me positive, which helps me remain in the light. People need an ’empty.’ 😉 (I’ll let you take that however you wish. Brains or balls. Same difference!)

I’m working…A LOT….yes. In fact, I’m promoting a LOT right now and behind the scenes, you won’t necessarily as of yet, know of all the things swirling in Wunna land, because everything takes a glittery bit of prep. Then with a ‘wiggle and a wink’ and a dash of that good old Wunna charm, it is windled out appropriately…and sort of like it wasn’t jigsawed together like clockwork. (We’re not meant to tell you those bits. But it’s not like the savvy ones of you, don’t actually know that. 😉 Audiences aren’t stupid and it makes me laugh when people assume that they are.)

In my mind and looking forward, the new stars, are the ‘social’ stars, because that is what the future is about. So, as time goes on…you will find that more and more of those little Social Media champions (and I do include myself in that lol,) will begin to float into the mainstream, the limelight. Of course, I’ve experienced ‘limelight’ due to my ‘back in the day’ telly stint, yet I will tell you honestly, that to this day and especially now, it is my blog and my’ social engagements’ that bring in the bacon.

I guess, I always put it like this….You know how people always used to mutter on about how ‘today’s news is tomorrows chip paper.’ In Cyberland….the news stays…FOREVER. All anything takes is a Google Search. And I love that! In fact, someone told me that they Google Searched me, the other day and didn’t realize how ‘naked’ I had been. Lol. No matter what you do, what you have done, or what you will do…If you are sugar stamping your stiletto into Cyberland, it will stick.

Away from all that…It seems that all my chick friends are doing ‘love’ and madly. Everyone’s falling in love, buying new homes, waiting for proposals and reloving new chapters, with hubbies getting promotions. I’ve just been working…a lot…. as Cupid is not my mate. We don’t get on. He keeps trying to shoot arrows at me that i’m dodging with Ninja Matrix Moves. I’m happy. I don’t need to get arrow shot up right now, to be paired with some dickhead.

I know exactly what I’m looking for and when i find that, i’ll feel it. He’ll feel it too. We’ll know. I’m quite the romantic, so I wish for those ‘some enchanted eveningmoments ‘where you will see a stranger’… I say it all the time. However, I know things aren’t as simple as that. because the last time I saw a stranger across a crowded room, where our eyes ‘caught’ each other, was years ago in LA. (I have dated since then obviously, but that moment was certainly one where everything seemed to *pause.* So much…that I remember it clearly.  His last name was ‘March.’ If you know me well, you will know that I have his last name tattooed on my right inner arm. Lol. ) That ended up shitty. Really shitty, because we were too young and too insecure to be ‘real’ with one another.

Now that i’m older and all fabulous,  I look back at that time and don’t necessarily *cringe* at myself, but I more smile because the way I am now, I’d ace that moment, that time, that whole thing. Lol. Thank GOD that feels like a 100 years ago. Cupid and I aren’t friends. I’ve said it. The next time I date….the guy will be a ‘life enhancer.’

But yes, we have Valentines coming up in the next month. WHERE THE FUCK DID JANUARY GO!!! It has literally slipped through my fingers. Due to ‘being busy’ months seem to FLY, don’t they???

January was a shit month for many of you, I know.. so I hope that you’ve all cheered up, got your ‘game face’ back on, or at least…got paid. Lol. It’ll make February worth while.

I’ve got a lot of work to do today and I’m not able to start it until later this evening. I’m having a ‘Treat The Wunna Babies’ Saturday because they deserve it. I’ve had a hard last couple of days and my release was a morning Princess mini weep. Hurrah! Saturday morning, ‘can’t help it’ cries. (I’m honestly just hormonal. So i don’t need inbox love. Lol.)

Something happened that I wasn’t ready for, not anything MAJOR. If it was major, I wouldn’t have cried, I would’ve just got on with it and handled it. I’m good like that. It’s the little things that make me Princess weep, during ‘almost period’ time. It’s HILARIOUS. If I wasn’t hormonal i would’ve laughed it off. It’s just because I felt I had let someone down.

But yes, I had to messenger my Mum to tell her what had happened…and she’s currently Flying back home from Burma. She might be in Dubai right now actually? But she saved the day, by showing me the positives and by presenting me with that good old ‘no nonsense’ Mummy love. She’s a great woman. I don’t even know how she puts up with me? But she did, like I would..between flights. I’m quite like my Mother. She is a woman who built an empire after arriving in England, as a late 20 year old with only £17 in her pocket. Her soul is good, which is why she won the Hero Award. She’s one of the best Doctors in the nation, in the area that she specializes in. That’s something…

Then to make it better…Ruby and Junior had secretly spotted me having a cry lol..and I NEVER CRY INFRONT OF THEM. To be fair, it’s not even deliberate…I just never need to cry because my life is pretty good right now? But they placed a little ring, which had a pink plastic heart on it and after shoving it in a little box, they brought it into my room..

Junior: ‘Mum don’t cry.’

Ruby: ‘We’ve got you a gift!’ 

Aww! Lol. I opened it and BEAMED and then cried more because they were so lovely. HAHAHAHA! OH MY WORD! I need a slap. I need a fucking wine.

Ruby: ‘It’s a heart because we love you so much.’

Junior: ‘Yeah…

Me: ‘Babies get changed. Let’s get out of here and have some fun…’

 

Told you.

WE ARE THE HAPPIEST LITTLE DOTS in this entire universe.