Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! ๐Ÿ˜‰

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day, ย filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I know! Wow wee! ย *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… ๐Ÿ™‚ , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

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Work, Blackpool, Drama’s & Cocktails

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‘What did she say?’

‘Gonorrhea..’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Defintely!’ ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

Yes, today is the day where I spent a moment of my life, (oh life) listening ‘Fairytale Blond’ proudly tell ย ‘Hot Sarah’ her story of how she has an immune system disease, with a Pukka tea in her hand, that she shared and it was delicious. For some reason I made the executive decision to change her disease to ‘Gonorrhea’..and ‘Chinese Whisper’ it on to Firmonnell. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t even know? I was bored, even though it was busy. But it was funny! I need to entertain the masses, as we’re again going through lots of changes. Plus, they all know we well enough anyway and just went with my Tom Foolery for kicks, APART FROM ‘Firmonnell’ who decided to nag at me for inaccurately delivering the story of her ‘breast milk pancake’ club.

‘What was INACCURATE about YOU joining a Mum’s club that MADE breast milk pancakes for fun??? You said that!’

‘No i didn’t! I said I was JUST THERE. I DIDN’T MAKE THE PANCAKES out of fucking breast milk.

Hahaha, like ย ‘just BEING there’ wasn’t hilarious enough????? Don’t know about you, but i’ve lived a rather eventful life! Y’know, I’ve coloured outside every box, danced with fire, as it’s danced along with me…but not ONCE in my ENTIRE EXISTENCE have I EVER had the delicious experience of ‘breast milk pancake friends’ AND at a community centre. HAHAHAHA. DYING!

Again..this is probably why i’m single! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m a tit. But one that doesn’t produce pancakes. ๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t think i’m actually adoring being a singleton right now. I’m not liking it as much as I thought. (That isn’t a grene light for everyone to jump on in. I’m not a desperado…I can still hol dout for the right pick. Lol.

I love, love. I love the fun and loveliness that comes with joining forces with a team mate. Y’know, someone who understands you and does life with you, someone you can build an ’empire’ with and enjoy secrets with..all of that. Someone you love and take care of. I really hope to find that guy. I really hope to fall in love, as my relationship with WORK I have down now. We get on well, because i’ve nurtured that rapport. Lol. I’m headed on the right track and doing it well. I’m feeling confident. (Even though there’s been a lot of entertainment type, other work ‘DRAMA’ today, for no real reason? If I despise anything it’s drama. I get my giant glitter scissors out and cut myself away from it all immediately, as I just see it as negative and what I know in life is that NEGATIVE PEOPLE, who don’t radiate a warmth or a kindness NEVER EVER DO AS WELL AS THEY WISH. And they never do well because they waste so much of their time concentrating on bitterness instead of focusing on being better. It’s that simple.)

But yes, now that i’ve preached. Life is great! It’s always great because i have the best friends, family and colleagues around me constantly, who without them even knowing keep me grounded, smiling and..well sharp witted. Lol. I’m cheeky, i’m charming and i’m dashed in what I call ‘glamourousity.’ When my ‘entertainmenty’ world is turning into madness, and it is a mad world, as the business of ‘show’ is a cut throat industry. It’s almost unreal…it’s a dog eat dog kinda game of ‘who does it best’….And well it’s during those times when the ‘family, friends and colleagues,’ make everything okay again without them even knowing. I appreciate that and more than they would ever think.

I guess i’m going through a weird ย ‘becareful what you wish for, as you just might get it’ stage. I’m happy and I’m working hard and I understand all that, I mean GOD i grew up in Hollywood. Yet when there’s glitter drama swirling around me, i’m really good at keeping my eye on the prize, concentrating on what matters, staying focused and just doing what I love and loving what I do. (By myself.) I get ahead in the time that people waste and it makes a difference.

I’m doing really well right now and I’m working really hard for everything that seems to be coming into ‘bloom.’ More than anything i’m adoring every moment of writing this blog. Giving back creatively and telling the story of my life, as I go along… to ME.. is simply wonderful. Like I always tell you, this blog, is literally the only thing that I have been disciplined and accidentally dedicated to for almost a decade. Before all the modelling in LA, TV stuff, love life dramas and everything in between occurred….there was this blog. AND I LOVED IT. I even loved it before it was public and when it was still just a little jotter that I scribbled in with a biro, on my sunny balcony in West Hollywood on Kings Road, as my neighbour Cletus, popped out (we sort of shared the balcony) to make cups of tea and give me advice, as my love life was always shitty. An ‘almost’ decade onward, a whole new life, continent, three failed marriages and two babies later, i’m STILL writing it, loving it…BUT NOW everyone is listening…

That little balcony jotter, 8 years on… has turned into a FINALIST in the UK BLOG AWARDS THIS YEAR! It’s crazy. My life is just…crazy. So, I know my time will come…and when it does…(and it seems to be going well,) i’ll make impact. It’s not how MUCH you do…it’s the impact you make when you do it.

ANYWAY, aside from all that! Thank you for all your emails and messages. I read them ALL even though I kinda don’t get enough time to always reply! I’m doing an ‘Ask me anything’ blog shortly and weeing myself at some of the questions you’ve drop kicked into my inbox. Lol. I’m really excited to whop out my replies…but mainly because i’m an ego maniac. ๐Ÿ™‚ I enjoy it. I love a Q& A. Lol.

People have also been asking me about my time with Blackpool. Why I was there? What I was doing? Well, after I shot for House of Solo Magazine in Leeds, I shot down to Manchester and then to Sunny Blackpool to meet up with Liam Halewood for a couple of evening cocktails. It was really great, as I’d never really met him before, yet i watched him on Xtra Factor and knew that his spirit was hilarious.

I arrived in Blackpool, he picked me up from the station with his friend Aaron, who was sweet and oozed a kindness…and then after I was driven to his, I had a cuppa tea, talked to ‘Alexa,’ who is this Amazon robot thing that does everything you tell it too! OH mY GOD! Literally EVERYTHING you tell it to! You tell ‘Alexa’ to sing for you..She whops out a tune…You tell her to turn on the lights, or pop on the kettle…SHE FUCKING DOES….like magic. I NEED TO MARRY ALEXA. I then met his dog Jimmy, appreciated the stylishness of his home, giggled the evenings events with Aaron and then met Liam’s husband.

We got changed, we had fun, we gossiped about people and went out for windy cocktails in Blackpool. So much fun. A hilarious evening. I couldn’t even walk in my diamantee heels AND I WAS SOBER. But cut me some slack, do remember that I had been up at the crack of dawn doing the fashion shoot in Leeds, after the longest week of ‘every hour going’ work….I did well to get my glad rags on and do cocktails under then night lights of Blackpool with the boys. Yet, i always say that it’s the company you choose to keep that determines how much of a great time you’ll have. I couldn’t have been in better company. It was one of those random ‘good times,’ filled with laughter witty banter, and just letting lose. I needed to feel free for a moment…as i’d been working SO hard that a ‘melt down’ could’ve occured. Lol. Plus, I hadn’t drank all day, so i needed to feel comfy and I needed a wine, before we even started the night out. So we walked to the shop to get one quickly, as you need one when you’re getting ready. Liam looked all styley, with his shoe game on point. I WENT IN MY ONESIE. ๐Ÿ™‚ I know!! Whatever, it was cold outside and it felt so cosy. AND the shop was literally two seconds away.

‘Chrissie they haven’t got a mini wine??’

‘Ugh! What is there?’

‘You an get a can of Jack Daniels! Lol!’

‘But do they sell straws? I can’t drink out of a mini wine or a can of JD without a straw. I’ll look like a DICKHEAD!’

I had totally forgotten that I was STOOD in the middle of a guy’s newsagents IN MY ONESIE, already looking like ย prize twat, whilst in heels and concerning myself over the fact that I hadn’t got a straw for my goddamn can of JD. ๐Ÿ™‚

‘Look! I’ll just buy a Ribena and you can use THAT straw.’

See! I adore people who come up with solutions to my problems. Lol. Ribena is purchased, the straw is placed in my can of Jack Daniels in a can. I’m now the happiest girl in all of the world. I’m armed with a Gucci bag. Yes, I looked THAT terrible…and as soon as we walk out the newsagents…

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

(It actually happened ALL night, wherever we went.)

Now….in these situations, you can either shy away or you can realise that even though you’re comfy, you look like a tool and commit to it. Ofcourse I went for commit to it…and well we all know that i’m the exact opposite to camera shy. I took my facebook slutty onesie pics to the NEXT LEVEL. Hahah.

It’s a good time. We laughed all the way back to his…nearly got run over….but laughed….

‘Fucking hell, i’m not going down like that!’

Then we got changed for our night out. It’s was a windy night and we were meant to go for posh beachfront cocktails at Beach House. But it was closed.

So instead we tottered into into ‘Las Iguanas,’ which was across the street and filled with a bright ‘life.’ You know how much I love a fun Mexican joint. It’s one of my favourite types of ‘hang outs’ as there’s always something quite relaxed yet exciting about them. My second husband was Mexican. Being Chrissie Martinez for a bit was hilarious. Before that, I was a ‘Weverstad’ and then when I got to England, I was a ‘Thompson’…Then there was just ME again….as a Wunna! ๐Ÿ™‚ And even though I get along with all three guys so well…I’m much happier.

We all enjoyed cocktails and the most delicious nibble trays at ‘Las Iguanas.’ I’d definitely go again. The food was delicious. Plus, I adore a good nibble plate. It was great! We bantered about life and love. Just all sorts really.

I guess Liam had been in there before, he seems to know everyone in Blackpool. He’s pretty much just produced and put together his own reality show, called ‘Fylde Coast’ that depicts life in Blackpool, yet one that shows you a more glamourous and fun side to it. I’ve officially done cocktails in Blackpool now so I can literally tell you that been there IS a glamourous side to it! I watched the trailer of the show on his phone, whilst I was sat on the sofa and let me tell you.. I was pretty ‘hooked.’ If you enjoy tongue in cheek, yet fun reality shows…then you will LOVE ย ‘Fylde Coast.’ I hope it does well! ๐Ÿ™‚

That night was a great night, as I got to let loose for a second during a very busy, busy work week.

Yet, as per usual, I was dashed to the train station when the clock struck ‘time to leave’…and just like that, after a few selfies, an evening of being papped and a great time meeting new friends…I waved Blackpool ‘goodbye,’ as my train left Platformย 6…and made it’s way to Manchester Piccadilly.

(Y’know, when it got to Manchester Piccadilly and in the 7 minutes that I had before I was headed to Leeds…and whilst some strange gentleman was trying to hide the fact that he was smoking on the platform, yet still managing to do weird slutty faces at me…I AGAIN, used my 1 percent of my remaining life to Snapchat Steven Bartlett. Not to be creepy or anything…well, i’m sure i look creepy….But I had seen his snap a day before or so, which was asking people to give ‘ask HIM’ anything’ for his Q & A. I actually have A HUNDRED THINGS TO ASK HIM, so this was music to my ears, but i just couldn’t find a spare minute to simply send a ‘snap’ to him. I found that minute…on Platform 13 of Manchester Piccadilly, now 3 minutes before my train arrived. I began filming….and just as i was about to ask my question….MY PHONE DIED. What is my life!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My New Years Resolutions….

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Gosh! All this time off is making me go bonkers. It’s hilarious! I’m tottering around pestering and annoying innocent folk, just so my brain has something to do. Hahah! I’m like the kid that gets kicked out of glitter class (Wait? Hold up! I’d never get kicked out of glitter class? What the actual fuck IS glitter class? Lol Whatever it is? I wouldn’t get ย kicked out of it.) But you get the picture, my system needs to get back to work mode in order to feel satisfied. I’m really excited because i’m about to go into a *juggle,* which is when you have lots to conquer all at once. It’s challenging, it’s fun. ย Yet, right now all i’m doing is thinking and planning it all (which actually makes me panic as you can ponder things far too much) and being a FIRE sign, all the *pondering* gets boring after a while, when you have to wait to move forward. I’m an action girl…and therefore now, because i’m impatient…you are receiving a rant. Lol.

January always goes really fast! I don’t mean the ‘waiting for a pay day’ part, as I realize that most have spazzed their fine earned pences on cocktails. Yipppeee! Yet, when you have goals that you’re trying to fit in, in the first month, it’s always hard, as it *zoom* by without you consent and you have to double up in Feb.

I slept last night. I never can sleep, so that’s a good thing. But weirdly, I watched Chloe Khan’s snippets (lots of naked bits, boobie bits and sex bits) from her time in the Celebrity Big Brother House. Now, i don’t know whether she did that on purpose to gain ‘attention?’ If she did, well done, it worked and it took some fucking balls. It made her newsworthy. So the result, good or bad, was an attention winner. OR if she’s just like that as a human? Then I had a wine and wasn’t bothered anymore and fell asleep. It kinda made me learn that it’s what you do AFTER the snippets of attention have occurred that set task of longevity. My mind and soul must’ve been content with that knowledge and just conked out peacefully.

How was your New Year! I actually ditched my Slutty Sailor Girl outfit and Cockpit Pilot sexy wear, to simply stay home, with my babies. To the ‘Party Goers’ (and i am one to indulge in a good time, if it’s done right and in some form of luxury lol) that may sound dull. But to ME, it was heaven sent, peaceful, loving and bubbled my sail into 2017 with love. Their faces alone we’re adorable.

I will go on to tell you that LOVE MATTERS. It’s what makes you strong. Gives you a purpose. I’m a single mum, so the LOVE that I have for my children power me forward. Nothing compares to that! I’m ambitious, so the LOVE that I have for my ‘dream come true’ job and work radiates from my kitty soul like fire. The LOVE that I have for my parents, the people that gave me a foundation to grow, is deep rooted and dashed with the most sincere respect. The love that I have for having such hilarious friends, keeps my system light, filled with laughter and keeps me being a functioning alcoholic. Lol. It’s a fun love, as you need your ‘soldiers’ right by your side. They’re the people you tell everything to without *censor.*

We all know that i’m SINGLE and i’ve been single by choice because I just haven’t been able to find the correct male human to partner up with. Hahaha! Yes, i’ve been on dates, as usual, as they’ve come, and learnt a lot. Yet, i haven’t had that ‘chemistry’ that is essential to the way i think, move, or see the future…swing by me. Where i cn just be me and the get it! All great guys. All phenomenal people. But just not right for me. And i mean that both ways. As, I am also just not right for them. (Even if some of them haven’t seen that yet. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

I get loads of messages from guys, as any girl would on social media, who may tickle anyones fancy, who read my blog and say that I haven’t have such a hardcore *tick list.* There isn’t a *tick list.* I just know what i like, need and want in another human being, that is so much more than a simple list, as it’ll be something i feel, when i see them and meet them. (HAHAHAHAH….That makes me sound pervy!) Just because i’m not willing to ‘just settle’ for ‘a bit right’ doesn’t mean i’m being tight. It just means that i’m doing what’s right for ME…and you can’t change that, because it’s working for me and i’m quite toolish and strong headed. HOWEVER, if YOU WERE Mr.Right, you wouldn’t want to change that would you? ๐Ÿ™‚ As firstly, you’d be IT and secondly, trying to change a partner means you’re not getting it. You’re not accepting them for who they are with love and support. Nonetheless, I’m always quite willing to go on dates! Well…some dates. Lol. I LOVE meeting people.

I’ve gone on a rant haven’t I!

New Years Resolutions! What’s Yours?

I never usually make them, as I’m not good at confining myself to rules that i make personally. The little rules that I make for myself. If i find that i’m only answerable to myself, then there’s no hope, as I can handle Me telling myself off. Lol. I just end up hitting the glitzy *fuck it* button and having fun. (When i say ‘fun’ I simply mean doing the things that I love.) But if someone else gives me rules, I seem to be pretty obedient. It’s weird. Maybe because i feel more responsible and i’m not in the business of letting people down by nature. It makes me feel awkward.

But here they are anyway..

Wunna’s New Year’s Resolutions.

. EVERY DAY THIS YEAR do something proactive big or small that will help me get closer to my big goal. Work harder at it, basically.

. 20 minutes exercise every day. (I’m shit at going to gym, or signing up to groups, so it won’t be that. So it’ll just be some ‘show up to whenever’ class, or some run or something? I reckon i’ll be into Pilates. Lol

.EVERY DAY (because Karma’s ace) do a good deed for someone. Doesn’t have to be massive, as it’s the little things in life that make a difference. Hopefully it’ll come back on me threefold. If not, i’m not doing it again next year! HAHAHA. EVIL!

That’s it! As everything else in my life i do well. ๐Ÿ™‚

I need a massage and to get my nails done today.

I’m back to work tomorrow. The sun is shining. The babies and my Mum and I are all off to The Frenchgate centre in Doncaster.

I’m excited to tell you about the stuff that I have going on in 2017. There will be a blog about it all. I’ll be telling you where i’m going, why I’m going and when as I go along also.

Do remember that you are able to cross life paths with me at ANY SINGLE POINT. Maybe life will just naturally guide you my way. But if not…purposely *bump* into Wunna land, have a good time with me and find yourself in this blog the next day! *The 2017 cast ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) But this year, chrissiewunna.com will be becoming more interactive, as we all do life together. ย I’m going to be focusing a lot on getting another rung up that success ladder…so bare with me.

Like i said there’s a plan, yet in life you never quite know what’s going to happen, do you? But everything i have ‘intended’ sounds pretty good. Lol.

Feel Free to bob on any of my social media profiles and share your New Years Resolutions with me.

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