Life, Auditions & Guys….

So busy! So much work. But loving every minute of it. I have grumpy moments. Yet i’m shaking them off. Life’s too short to play silly sorts. If i’m being honest, it’s crazy how everything’s just changing for me work wise. I’ve hustled really hard for a really long time and i’m still at it…tinkering away. (I worked all day yesterday, took care of Ruby and Junior and then filmed an audition, before getting to up at five o clock this morning to work some more.) I’ve got my fingers crossed and all the hope in the world. God, I have all the hope in the world. There’s a glint in my kitten eyes. Yet something tells me that this time, it’s all going to be dandy.  It FEELS really good! Everything in life is all about how you FEEL and right now, i feel on top of the world. I’m smashing it. As a guy used to always say to me…

‘You’re on flames babe.’

I breathe out all the time, in disbelief because I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. But i’m getting there. I’m en route…I just need to focus and put some fire crackers in my frilles. 🙂

Anyway, even away from Wunna Land, so much is going on in the world. We all know that. But i’m someone who will always focus on the good and never give power to the bad. My soul is far too delicious waste my time on any negativity. So like I said in my last blog, it’s a great time to be a WOMAN. A ‘W.O.M.A.N’  (*Sassy* click here.) Feel powerful. There are so reasons for you to be happy. So own your womanhood.

I mean with everything that has come out about the Harvey Weinstein drama and all the women and men who have opened up about their own personal experiences of ‘sexual harassment’ in entertainment…(I did my entire 20’s in Hollywood, in the entertainment industry. I found myself in numerous situations where in which some guy in power, who would have my career dangling on a stick, right in front of me, would attempt to offer himself to me suggestively or try to make me offer myself to him suggestively, in order to gift me with my apparent ‘dreams come true.’ It happens all the time. Infact, it happened to me a month and a half ago, in England. Who do some people think they’re trying to kid?)

Luckily, I’m a tough cookie…and I’m not someone who would EVER…EVER surrender to such Tom Foolery. Especially being a Mum to a little girl. I’m a good human. I’m a sassy human. I don’t play like that. I have far too much faith in myself, timing, talent and in life. I don’t need to take shortcuts, because when I *bloom,* it will be done at the right time, the right way and with a good energy…a glittery happiness…an giddy warmth…a decent flair of panache.

But i whole heartedly stand by every single woman, that has come forward, be you Angelina Jolie, or Suzie from around the block…who has opened up and told their story, as it will keep your hearts safe and keep entertainment about creative talent and not about what some people feel they negatively NEED to DO, to get where they want to be. Say NO, to what we in LA used to label the ‘Casting Couch.’ It’s a disgrace! Believe in yourself and your own talents. Don’t panic. Don’t rush. You’ll get there. I promise. If you work hard, learn to be great at what you do and just be a decent person, who stays loyal to what they believe is right.

ANYWAY, I’ve got lost in the jumble. I’m meant to be telling you about my time with Inadequate Chris.

I filmed on Sunday with him in Park Square Leeds. We had the most amazing time and did the most amazing comedy sketches. We also filmed a few bits for Snapchat, to tickle their delightful new features. And soon you can delight in a bit of Inadequate Chris/Wunna Land hilarity. We work really well as a comedy duo. I’m not a serious person. I know how to have a good time. And even though he’s a lot shyer than I am…(He made us wait on a park bench for ages in Park Square, Leeds until a random gang of boys had left, before he would film his scene Lol) he’s a pretty great talent.

That day I learnt that I can talk nonsense with the greatest of ease, when a cameras put in my face, that we’re not the cast of Hollyoaks, that I might win a BAFTA and that everything ends in cocktails. (Remember, if I do anything, I only ever ask for a phone charging facility and some form of celebratory alcoholic beverage.)

After filming we walked up to the ever so glamourous Victoria Gate in Leeds ( I adore bouji. I love the Victoria Quarter)..Chris wheeled his push bike, with a backpack, tripod and camera shoved in it, as we chatted about our day of filming.

Chris: ‘You’re pretty likeable. There’s a likeability to you.’

The sun shone down on us and the wind was a little brisk. It was crisp. Traffic was everywhere, yet steady. I was talking about a guy a met earlier in the year,  his love life and a show I recently filmed…and then we finally got to the glorious Victoria Gate entrance, where life turns into luxury, the world surrenders to peace and you glamourously take that elevator up to Level 3, to Issho.

I love Leeds. I remember strutting through the streets at the end of the day, just feeling the air, the city and the buzz around me. It made me beam. It made me feel at home. Like the world was my oyster. It is SUCH a great city!

Now, Chris and I have ended up being quite good friends. We tell each other a lot. He’s currently dating someone new and adoring it. I mean they’re definitely in that initial ‘happy, but are we secure’ stage…he didn’t say that, but I know that. I watched him chitter about his girl and when he did, his eyes lit up. That’s how I know they are going to be okay. 🙂

I’ve said this before…and I got this from Josh the bartender. (He whispered it across a bar, as I sipped a salted rimmed margarita.)

A guy who loves a girl will ALWAYS PUT HER ON A PEDESTAL. No girl will ever compare to her. She’ll be his everything. And as a girl, you’ll feel it. You’ll feel on top of the world. And if you don’t….you’re not on that pedestal yet. You know when you are. But you know when you’re not. We as girls tend to make excuses for the guys at this point. Don’t….if you’re meant to be his Goddess, you will be!

I can officially state that Inadequate Chris, has merrily ‘pedestal placed’ his new girlfriend..So we decided to celebrate it with the finest Japanese lunch, cocktails and white wines. I adore the bouji peacefulness of Issho. It is filled with a magical swirl that lets your soul enjoy the finer things in life, yet it does it beautifully and calmly….Where you’re at your most ZEN. We chatted about everything for hours…and then tried to get the best value for money throughout the wine list and menu. (It’s a Yorkshire thing.)

Chris: ‘This is why I love hanging out with you. You always tell it how it is,  but make me feel good about myself. No, I don’t like wine.’

Me: ‘You’re such a Queen.’

(Do note…He’s ever so straight. Just gentle, like a Queen by nature. Almost emotionally Royal. I’m a glamour puss directed with a shimmie of absolute femininity. However, I have the most inappropriately masculine sense of humour. )

After we drank loads and spoke about life, under the Issho lights, I noticed that when it comes to love, he is certainly someone that I would label a ‘ love bunny.’ So he’ll adore a girl madly and want to spend every single waking minute of the day with them. In return, she has to adore him madly. And it’s cute.

I love love…but I’m an independent career girl. I’m romantic and loving…but as the saying goes ‘behind every great man is an even greater woman’ I am that woman. I can’t be asred cooking ya tea, but i’ll make you the greatest man alive!

Nothing is better to me than empowering people to be the best they can be. I do it positively. There’s a cheeky warmth about it all. It’s not evil. I love bringing the best in folk,  who don’t actually realise how amazing they are!

Anyway, I’m exhausted. I’m off to bed. I’m working all day tomorrow, the kids are on a school trip and I’ve got 2 more auditions, plus a book to write.  I’m pretty lucky. No. I’m really lucky. Hard work, pays off.

 

 

 

In the Name of James…

I’m back! Sorry! I’ve been so busy working. Luckily towards the end of the year, it all pans out beautifully and I will finally be able to delight in having more time to do what I love…which is to tell my story…and blog!

I don’t even know where I ended up last. But since then my fabulous gay friend Liam ended up on my telly and I watched him tinker his looks on ‘Body Fixers’ on E4, to change a look that the masses believed resembled ‘Alan Carr’ to just ‘Being Liam.’ The thing about Liam (and I am quite close to him) is that he is a really talented entertainer. He plays it down well. But when I once went to watch him do his Cabaret type shimmies in Blackpool, I was astounded at how talented an entertainer he actually is. I guess, it’s always a surprise when people play things down. But as we know. I adore a talented human. It doesn’t matter what they do, I’m delighted by talented beings.

Anyway, on Monday, he invited me down to Viva Blackpool to be part of raising awareness and raising funds for the James Bulger Memorial Trust. It’s a charity really close to my heart, as being a Mum…I honestly can’t imagine how Denise (who is the mother of little James Bulger,) not only stays so strong, yet has managed to turn her personal experience, that the ENTIRE world would regards as heart breakingly tragic, into something so selfless and positive, in order to help others who may go through the same. I met Denise that night and she beamed at me with a smile and a warmth that was nothing short of true compassion and strength. It was such an honour. It was humbling.

The event was star studded! I’m a huge music fan. I’m a huge musical theatre fan also. So a gigantic show was put on, filled with the most heart racing talent…I mean I watched Lydia Lucy from The Voice (words cannot even describe how amazing her voice is), Connor Mckenna from Pitch Battle, Gary Barker who is currently on this years XFactor and The Jersey Boys, who you can’t help but fancy…You couldn’t even pick one NOT TO FANCY! Those boys can harmonize around me ANYTIME, in those fitted red blazers and squeezy tight dress trousers.  It was just a star studded swirl of Viva magic…Dinner, drinks…and an ambience that sizzled with life, love and sequins. (I totally had Pina Coladas. It felt very Pina Coladary.)

Anyway, the trek to Blackpool (even though I’m Northern) seems quite lengthy, it took hours. But I ended up getting there in time, working out on the promenade and dolling up to glamour puss in it in the name of James Bulger.

I was meeting Lisa (as in Appleton) there, who I’ve known for quite a long time now. In 2009, we were on TV shows at the same time, so we also know the same people. (We all did the circuit at that time) I am actually really good friends with Rex who was trapped in the Big Brother House with her during that time.

Her tyre busted en route to the event, so she ended up being late, so I totally stole her room at the New Osbourne, which was beautiful and laden with fluffy fresh sheets, champagne and a teddy bear! I know! How cute. I love it there. The service is impeccable. I’m a service girl. 😉

But when she arrived, and ‘Aaron the Pap’ had *papped* away during our entrance, we had the best time ever.

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We’re both Northern, we both know fun and how to have it,  we’re both the type of gals who see life as the ‘big picture.’ I remember speaking to her in the loos, as she produced a sassy bottle of cider from her handbag. (You know you’re northern when that happens.) Infact she chose the size of her handbag based upon it’s ability to hold cider. Lol. Anyway, the thing about Lisa is that she’ll talk about anything openly and I love that about her. She’s a really good soul and a person that never takes advantage of anyone. She’s giving. She gentle. But certainly not a push over. I like her a lot…and she delights in my glamorous HONESTY. 🙂 I had some of that cider and laughed along with her. I mean, a lot of people say a lot about her. She’s in the press almost every day. Yet when she’s 80, she’ll be able to look back upon her time and laugh, knowing that she lived and that she had the best time on Earth ever.

Liam, Lisa & Ryan Mira (who is her PR,) infact the lot of them…all shimmied off to ‘Peek a Boo’s’ after the event for a night of absolute ‘Drag Queen ‘ debauchery. I love a Queen. I used to ‘Piggy Back’ them outside The Abbey in LA, in my 20’s. Useful form of transport really. I was dating one of the bartenders at the time…and it was strange because my ‘Queen’ transport fancied him too. Lol. My transport secretly hated me. I thought she was a bit whippy around the corners.

As per usual, like everyone does, they tried to make me ‘Peek a Boo’ it with them, with a ‘We’re only going to be another hour, come on!’ (I’m lame now. I love to do cocktails etc and wink the night in luxury and glamourousity…But I don’t stay out. I like to go home, go back to the hotel and just go to bed or chill. Lol. I’m awful for it. Even my friends know…Once i’m done…and it’ll always be earlier than everyone else…I’ll just leave to put my comfies on.  Haha.)

Yet away from that, I’m so wise to the ‘we’re only gunna be’ line, that I should have it embroided onto my frillies.

Straight away I called my own taxi back to The New Osborne, because I knew I had a really early start in the morning and had to be up and on a six o clock train to Leeds for work. I went to bed around midnight….Snapchatted everything. Set my alarm for five o clock in the morning….(I kinda woke up every hour and didn’t sleep that well. But you do don’t you, when you know you’re away from home and need to be somewhere early. When you need to catch trains and all that jizzle.)

AAAANNNNNYWAY….Team ‘We’re only going to be an hour’ ROCKED BACK TO THE HOTEL at FIVE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING, as my ALARM went off for ‘Wake Up.’

It actually sounded like they had the best time…They were laughing out loud and I was sliding out of my fluffy sheets with this random teddy bear, to get showered and do my face, after a nights sleep.

I was at the station and on the train as soon as their heads hit a pillow. Ofcourse my train got cancelled and I had to get on the 7.11am one instead, so I just sat, on my own, at a train station in Blackpool at six o clock in the morning chilling….

By 9am, I was back in Leeds and off to work. Lol.

I actually scrolled through Twitter quickly and saw that we were in The Mirror… and infact the Daily Star…

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Great times! Good fun! Amazing people. And more than anything, an evening dedicated to such an important and such a good good cause, the James Bulger Memorial Trust!

My heart honestly goes out to all Mums, children and families, who are going through or have been through the same….There was a lot of talent there and the place was celeb packed, but what an absolute honour to meet Denise Fergus, (James’ Mum) who couldn’t be a more positive soul. Watching her strength, gives you an immediate reality check and inspires you to reunite with your own inner Hero.

 

 

Busy Minds & Early Nights…

A good day. I mean I’ve nothing to be complaining about really. I’m in a good place. But my minds busy. It’s so busy. I can’t rest it. It’s tiring me out and it’s filled with bundles of work and trundles of thought. I’m even going to have to ‘early night’ it, simply to chill my head. Calm it down. Give it some peace. This month, there’s a lot of work and excitement going on in Wunna land. My Land. So, like I said, it’s nothing bad. Infact, quite the opposite…it’s actually ALL REALLY GOOD. My kitten mind is just doing a jive and right now, I cant make it stop. It has a lot of energy.

Y’know, this only ever happens when I have a great deal going on, or there’s a wee bit of pressure that I kinda have to shimmie alongside. During times like this, I tend to go all quiet and withdraw. It helps me focus. Don’t fret. It’s all fine. I just need to rest my mind to pan pipe music or something lame like that. Lol. (Pan Pipe music always reminds me of that INSANE Chinese Lady in Camden who was in charge of massaging me and delivering total enlightenment to my soul, yet instead almost broke every fricking bone in my body. Haha. What a bitch! J  Don’t go there. SHE’S CRAZY!)

I’m writing my book, my audition went well..

Firmonnell: ‘You’re gonna get that…

and i’m shooting strong.

When it comes to all that. I’m pretty confident.

I have the Diversity in Media awards in 11 days. It’s such an honour. I’m way out my depth. I want to win the award. I won’t win it by any means. Yet, I feel really lucky to have been nominated and then shortlisted in such a great league, amongst some of the nations best talent! It’s insane and such a wonderful award to be representing. So, i’ll do my red carpet strut, tinker my MTV interview like a kitten and just enjoy my evening…(code for NETWORK the Hell out of Wunna Land. 😉 ) It’s being live streamed anyhow, so you’ll get to watch me lose. I’ll do that ‘Ah so happy for the winner’ face for you…then i’ll drink loads and do selfies with everyone.

Away from all that, life is great. I’m feeling really positive. I’m feeling gentle. I’m feeling beautiful. When a girl feels beautiful, she feels like she can conquer anything and it’s the single most divine feeling. Then all my chick friends all decided that they wanted to join some ‘fat club,’ that they’ve made up themselves, where in which they’ll all put in £1, weight themselves weekly at Boots (lol,) only in the name of ‘slimming’ and then whoever has lost the most weight, gets all the quids. Hahah!

Me: ‘I’m not arsed about playing the weighing game. I feel alright right now. I’m all curve happy.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah, but we want you’re quid.’

Me: ‘I’ll just watch you all and cheer you on.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah, but we want you’re quid.’

Me: ‘Hahah. I’m happy right now and this weighing game will make me all competitive and make me feel like i need to lose a pound just to win and beat you all. It’s pointless and stress for no reason.’

Mel: ‘I’m doing it. It’ll just have to be us.’

I look at Firmonnell…

Me: ‘You told me that looks don’t matter, that it all FADES and that all anyone has to be is FUNNY, so you’re not bored with whoever you’ve chosen to be with.. when you’re 80.’

This all came about because her hubby ‘Big D’ might go on a ‘lose a few pounds’ diet, after someone called him fat. This diet wouldn’t matter because obviously she’s married to him, she’s loves him madly and would love him madly always and anyway, until the say she dies. We all would.

I mean GOD, when I love someone, I love them no matter what. As time passes and you’ve built your bond, it becomes unconditional and nothing can break it, if it’s real. To me it doesn’t matter what they do, where they’re from, how chubby they’re getting…If i love & respect them and they love & respect me too….then that’s pretty much all that’s matters. I have NO CLUE how Big D’s ‘maybe diet,‘turned into a whole weighing game at Boots? Hahaha. That’s chicks for ya!

But this is guys for ya! I’ve just checked my Snapchat and one of my guy friends (he’s only a young 20 something) is looking or an ‘extra money’ Sunday job, because he managed to spend £300 on strippers in an hour on Friday night. Lol. If anyone needed love or a girlfriend more…it’d probably be him right now. He’s actually super romantic and can’t even cope without having someone to love. SO GIRLS. There you have it. If you wanna date my mate, inbox me and i’ll set you up. You’ll only have to dance to a Little Mix track for 3 minutes and you’ll at least make £20….but then you’d have to make him his tea.

I’m so glad i’m a grown up. Haha.

I mean, who can be arsed with being 20 something nowadays? It’s a shambles. Lol. Thirty something is so much sexier, as it’s dashed in a sensible whirl of duty. Yet you can still rock it in Louboutins,clink a cocktail and  strut it like a fox. Thirty something, be you a girl or guy…is HOT AS HELL. There’s a classiness to it. A ‘hey baby, i’ve lived and learnt, a little.’ (Do know that i’m only saying this because i’m a’thirty something.’ When i’m a ‘forty something,’ or even a ‘fifty something,’ that will be the new hot.)

Right, I said I was early nighting it, so i’ll love you and leave you!

But once again, thank you so much for following my life. It means a lot. I hope that somewhere in this absolute decade of blogging you find a piece of Wunna land that inspires you….

 

 

 

 

Love, Lattes & Chicks Who Tongue Dogs…

Woke up this morning with the blistering sunlight shining through my window, with all a calm breeze and peace as my bestie…I stretched…I kitty yawned and just like that BOOM! Bustle, door knocks, headsets, clipboards, fidgets, schedules and that darling bit of happy ‘rush rush.’ (Which i hate. I hate RUSHING. When you rush, you mess things up. I’m a glamour puss. I like to do things in an orderly glamourous fashion.)  It only lasted a good jolly moment…then once again everything went back to calm, back to normal and I could continue sipping my green tea latte. (Which is my favourite latte in all the land. I used to get one every morning in LA, on 3rd and La Cienega, unless I was on a diet, then i’d flirt with an Americano with skimmed instead.)

Sorry….i’ve just got distracted after watching a snapchat of a guy (i know his sister closely) line out 20 chicken nuggets on his mates drive for hangover kicks and type out a mini news report afterward. Lol I’m enthralled. I love it! Hahah. But anyway…

You all zoned in on the fact that I stated that my love life wasn’t rubbish yesterday, didn’t ya! I scrolled through messages galore from people all over the world either cheering me on, or tinkering for me details? When it comes to love, I’ve never got it right, have I? Yet, that’s because i’ve Mambo’ed into everything head first, twirling madly, in red dresses and sequins, with ‘cha cha’ arms (don’t actually know what arms they are) and with everything crossed. And don’t get me wrong, it’s always great to feel ‘crazy’ about someone (that’s what passion is and if you don’t have it, your soul needs a tequila to wake you up and smell the limes,) yet the ‘crazy’ is what you feel initially….We all love the ‘swirl,’ the initial attraction…the ‘ooh laa’ as I like to call it….Yet, the real love comes after….when time has passed, you’ve learnt about one another and you’ve only just realised how much time you’ve invested in a person because it’s breezed by so merrily…

Real love comes (that love that people say has been written about for centuries) when a true friendship has been formed, one of loyalty and trust, that has been built upon slowly, where you share laughter, secrets, respect and support. When you can look at that person and know that no matter what they’ll always be there…because they always have. To me…that’s what real love is. A best friend…that you do ‘non friend zone‘ like things with. 😉

Having gotten love wrong for so many glamourous decades…YIPPPEEEE (again doesn’t make me a hideous person, it’s simply just my story, it’s actually empowered me more than I ever thought it would,) I THINK, that no one in this entire world understands love more than I do, right now. I do get nervous. I do get frightened. I do things wonderfully. I do things badly. It’s normal. I’m certainly not all sass, i’m quite an affectionate soul…and yeah like anyone, I don’t fancy feeling love in order to maybe get hurt, right? Especially not at thirty something. That doesn’t make us weak, it kinda just makes us human. It’s not the right way to move forward. So I’m always open hearted regardless…as my confidence out weighs my moments of terror…and just incase i have to encounter a sassy bit of heartbreak again in the future …I KNOW THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. 🙂 Plus, I have loads of great alcoholic chick friends who will buy me cocktails to make me feel better..and then make fun of me for being a tool.

I’m an life soldier…but a happy one. And I am 100 percent confident that one day (even though i’ve had decades of being unlucky in love) i’ll make someone really happy forever. Forever being the key word…as I have made people briefly happy… Lol. I actually said this to my chick friend Lana (she’s strange and tongues dogs)..

Me: ‘What! I’ve got it in me….’

Lana: ‘What, like silicone?’

Me: ‘Yes. Actually. Please stop tonguing that dog near my Gucci Bamboo Top Handle.’

Lana: ‘It’s weird because you’re a sweetheart but everyone who doesn’t know you thinks you’re a dickhead. Hahaha. I know you’ve got it in you…’

Me: ‘Well, I wouldn’t say it, if I didn’t know it was true. It’s not like i’m sat here saying, hey yeah…i’d make a really great roller booting astronaut…cos i’d know i’d be shit at that.’

Lana: ‘There’s no such thing as that, idiot. What if Mr. Whoever has a shit willy..’

Me: ‘He doesn’t have a shit willy. Stop tonguing that fucking dog!! Honestly. It’s sick. No wonder you’re divorced.’

Lana: ‘You can’t talk…You better get used to having to tongue pets now that you’ve got Rocco…’

Me: ‘Eww! Rocco’s bouji. He’s not average like your pet. Lol. He’s an ‘IT’ kitten. He’s swag. He’s part of Wunna land. I have a whole online patch of land. You’re living it right now & you don’t even know. It’s like a glittery Matrix.’

Lana: ‘You’re such a big headed twat.’

Right, I need to head off quickly…and enjoy the rest of my chills. I have the Yorkshire chills to get back to and enjoy…I’m slightly confused at how grown my children have become. It’s weird. How the hell have I managed to raise them?

I’m also missing all my girls! Firmonnell, Fairytale, Hustle Barbie, Double B, Mel and Lady Shiz. I did actually wake up, thousands of miles away from them, look down at my phone and read a stream of whatsapp messages that kinda really upset me. Lots has happened and it was kinda weird because it’s not really something that I would be upset by…Yet reading the stream and realizing how much of a team we were, no matter where we were in the world or what we were doing….or whatever shit life through at us…kinda made me smile! I love being part of a team. We have each other’s back no matter what. I always wonder what we’ll all be doing in the next five years…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Kitty is BACK

I’m back dolls! How are you?? Oh my god. Sorry for my quick shimmie left with a wink exit….I’ve been in London. So, there hasn’t been a blog because I’ve been busy, I’ve been away, I was filming a little something and when I returned to that good old northern soil, I was blissfully shattered. I’ve had a lay in for 3 days straight and it’s amazing. Never happens. I have no hard work until the 21st, so right now i’m on a sassy recoup and boy do i fucking need it. Lol.

Right, obviously, I can’t tell you anything about my dandy little filming trip, yet you will get to see it…and all i can say about it was that as soon as my little kitten feet landed in The Capital, life turned to glitzy roses and *whoosh* it was a magical swirl of absolute glorious good times, dazzled in madness, shimmied in laughter. In that moment I felt really lucky to have such an ace life and to just be surrounded by really wonderful ‘like minded humans. I loved it. It was actually so great that it was almost surreal…like it was just a dream and never actually happened. I keep flash backing it to relive it in my head. Yes, I may have got carried away, but that’s what i do innit? Lol. I’ve actually written the blog on my time in London…as I you always have to write things in the moment, to keep it live enough for you to touch and live with me. But again, that wont get posted, until it’s meant to.

People always say that I’ve done so much in my life…that I’ve lived..and done it with bells on. But you’ve done it with me. You’ve gone through my awful ups and downs and cheered me on, even when i didn’t deserve it. Haha. So yeah, I guess i’ve done ‘so much,’ however, really i’ve just strutted around in heels and big hair and watched MUCH kinda DO ME. I don’t know how i’ve managed to survive it. But I have. I am. And i’m still bloody smiling.

Okay, but away from the jazzle. I got back to Yorkshire, messaged a guy on the train ride home, didn’t even get undressed and passed out, fast asleep in my bed blissfully…after pouring a wine that i thought i needed. Napped. Got up. Still felt shitty, but got on with life…I’m not a sulker am I? I mean fuck it, I even managed to snapchat my nap, with fabulous hair, so I couldn’t have felt that dodgy.

The rest of the few days as just been chills. I love recouping. It is bliss. I zoomed over to my chick friend ‘Firmonnells’ BBQ and kicked it family style over Doncaster spicy chicken with Big D and Little T and her babies. We drank Desperados and gossiped about my London time, as I gave Little T a ‘dreams come true’ talk, they listened to my love life banter and then we made fun of people who ‘aren’t in the game.’

‘You can’t call me Suzy Wu, if you’re not in the fucking game dude!!’

I kinda got home late via taxi and after a series of the traditional Wunna Snapchat selfies (Add me Chrissiewunna1) and with blips of chitter chatter, I got home and send a ‘needy’ message. Hmm….?

After a bit of arseiness, everything was dandy. The key to everything is to not be tired and text. Not be emotional and text. Not be both. Or hungover. Or just come back from filming a show and text. Just sleep on it….The quicker you bounce back from anything, the better the human you are. Almost makes you invincible. I don’t waste my time on being a pansy. I’m not some that can be arsed with holding anything let alone a grudge. Yet the main thing is…i just understand people…

Anyway, I’ve been chilling with Ruby and Junior and delighting in being Mum. Were trying to name a kitten. I’m resting up. I have big shoots, a book to write and fun brands to work with…so I’ve kinda got to get my head back to normal and smash it all with titty jiggles.

I started off my day by watching the ‘BEST OF JACKASS.’ (Which I love.) It’s weird because i’m such a girl and such a glamour puss. I love love and hair and heels. I radiate femininity like it’s a fragrance that woos the nation..but I have such an inappropriate sense of humour. I have a boy ‘locker room’ sense of fun, which is devastating. Haha. It’s a twisted sense of rubbish ‘pranky’ awkward humour that runs through my system and I love it. I mean, GOD, I love a bit of ‘Real Housewives…’ yet can’t wait to watch the BOXING. I don’t even know why? It must mean i’m greatness…

Anyway, this blog was just a catch up. so you have my apologies for it’s shitness. I just needed to get back on that horse. I’m on chills and picture taking for the rest of the week. But at least I managed to write the blog, I kept glaring at my pink laptop like it had the lergy. I couldn’t bring myself around to do it.

But it’s done…stay tuned…i’m on FIRE. I actually have a really rest of the year…I feel lucky.

 

 

 

When I Tinkered to Gino’s Harrogate….

Last night I did Gino’s in Harrogate.

I mean, everyone knows that I am a regular adorer of the Gino D’Acampo restuarants. The Leeds spot is one of my favourite haunts. You can always find me at the Prosecco bar, with a hair toss, a wink and that good old saucy banter.

Infact, I love everything that is going on in Leeds right now, as it seems the city is being sprinkled with new life. We are hosting some of the most stylish and creative bars in the North. And when you’re Blogger/Socialite nothing could be MORE DIVINE. My niche is ‘bouji’ and bouji is now right on my kitten door step.

But wait, yesterday I decided at the very last minute to tinker away from the darlings of Leeds, where life is laid back, yet wild and filled with what I call ‘Heels & Handsomes.‘ And instead, have a car drive me into Harrogate to celebrate the launch of the new D’Acampo restaurant, for their opening weekend. I like new. I like different towns and cities, fresh lifestyles, all social situations. (However not today because I feel rough. 🙂 ) Plus, I kinda wanted to just be somewhere different.

As soon I pulled, up, tottered in, adorning my little red dress and heels and as security pulled the door open for me….

WOW!

The atmosphere of that entire place was filled with live bustle and laughter and a stylish, yet devilishly delicious ambiance of ‘busy.’ It was glamorously packed and I was greeted with a smile, poured a Prosecco immediately and well like I said, I go to the Leeds Gino’s a lot, so I saw a lot of familiar faces who took a moment to show me around the new digs and introduce me to everyone and everything. I’d gone on my own. (I love going places on my own because it prevents you from being ‘cut away’ of everything and everyone and invites people to cross life paths with you. When you’re in a ‘click’ you stay within that ‘click’ and sometimes don’t see all that is going on around you.) It gave me the opportunity to mingle and chitter and really see, taste and hear all that was surrounding me.

To start with the place is huge, but filled with stylish excitement. From open kitchens to roof top terraces, where you can actually dine, look upward and have the sky blanketing over you. The DJ was playing. The upstairs prosecco bar was full of GQ looking Harrogate men and women who had either married well or made something of themselves. It was really bright on the roof terrace and I loved it. I felt free. Harrogate is a very different crowd to Leeds, everyone is distinctly more ‘showey’ and posher. Lol. They adore bouji but expect it. Things is not ‘laughed’ off in Harrogate….(I was stood next to a 20 something lady in the loos, who was moaning because she had to ‘wait for the loo’…There was literally no one infront of her…LOL..so she was kinda waiting for no reason at all, but forgot to check. Hahah! What an idiot! I simply smiled and opened up a door…She blushed and well I assume, went forth and wee’d. 🙂 )

Regardless, the staff at Gino’s that evening won everyone’s heart over with their impeccable service and Italian charm. Plus, they kept giving everyone prosecco. That helped. In fact that was HILARIOUS, because I was stood at the top of the stairs, in the bouji GAMES area, (yes it has one) which is right next to the glass windowed Private Dining room, which you can ‘curtain off‘ so the ‘riff raff’ can’t watch you ‘Lady & The Tramp‘ your pasta.

But OH MY GOD, I was chatting to people and watching Ladies and Gents play table football…well I watched an actual real life footballer  ‘Adam Clayton’ play table football against his ‘soon to be’ wifey and another guy, who was determined to win the game by impressive table football wrist action…

Sorry, i got distracted….

Anyway, whilst sitting at the top of the stairs… ALMOST FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, I watched a different glamourous human (HAHAHA, I’M DYING, IT’S HILARIOUS, YOU HAD TO BE THERE) walk up the first level of stairs towards me, SKID and SMASH INTO THE WALL (HAHAHAHA) because they had accidentally got SO DRUNK and the utter giddiness of all that was going on around them, had just got the better of them. Lol. It was so hilarious that it was almost like a PRANK STAIRWAY.

I started weeping with laughter…and funnily enough, when I did..they did to.

THEN OFCOURSE….The Gods got me…

When I tinkered up that glamourous baby blue lit stairway, I got onto the next level and realized the flooring was PURE GLASS. YES, a glass floor! YES. An absolutely delicious idea. Yes. You can watch all that is going on below you.

YES! I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

UGH! Lol.

I took them off because no one likes VPL line. Visible panty lines are weird and 90’s. So I had my little red dress on….heels…an espresso martini in my hand, a glass FLOOR and no knickers. Hahahah!

To be honest…I’m a confident girl. I’m not terrified of such a treat. I was almost delighted. It was a game in itself. Lol. I turned around and told every managerial looking body that I didn’t have any pants on….I told anyone who would listen and laugh, just for banter and then I committed to the cause and EMBRACED IT.

It is the funnest and most sauciest flooring I have ever seen. You should all go in short dresses and no pants and see if anyone catches you. 😉 After a few Prosecco’s, it’ll work wonders for any stale marriage. I was snapchatting and posting my entire time there and I got a HUGE Snapchatty/Twitter/Stagrammy repsonse to this picture…

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It got retweeted over five hundred times. Imagine if he looked up! Hahahaha! It’s a game you can all play. Don’t tell Gino I told you that. We’ll just keep it between us. 😉 Giuseppe won’t mind though. I’m sure he’d let me get away with a Wunna Land game.

Great night. Such wonderful staff. Strange Men kept coming up to me and asking for Selfies with me. But it was weird because they wouldn’t know much about anything ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ I wouldn’t think. Yet for some reason they kept wanting selfies? By this point I was sat at the downstairs bar, chatting to the the bartenders, who couldn’t of been more polite during what must have been such a stressful time.  The place was all ‘alive’ with ‘busy’ and to still be able to charmingly banter and whiz out every cocktail order under the sun with such panache…I mean LORD…How they coped I don’t even know. But they did and well! What a dynamic team!

Then…and now it’s almost 11pm, some guy struts up to me to try his luck with ‘The Glamour Puss.’ I wasn’t out looking for love. I was out to swirl madly in a glorious ‘D’Acampo bubble and just enjoy my night, in a new town before the clock struck midnight. (That’s when my car was picking me up.) I KNOW!! SO CINDERELLA OF ME.

He struts up all confident and like he thinks he’s got this in the bag…and simply starts telling me i’m beautiful and that he’s going to take me out and show me a good time in Manchester. (He said it like I has quite possibly never been out anywhere in my entire life before…) Infact, this was went down…(You’ve got the ‘beautiful’ blah, blah introduction lines…)

‘Where do you like to go. I’ll show to the best places in Manchester. I’ll take you out. Show you around. What places do you like? You’re beautiful.’ (Tries to hold my hand.)

‘I’ve done Manchester quite a lot. Yeah. I love it there. And well it’s less about where I go and more about who I go with…’

‘I LOVE THAT YOU’VE SAID THAT. You’re a DREAM. Give me your number.’

‘No. Nice try.’

‘I can give you the world.’

‘Why are you just pouring out line after line…’

‘Come to Manchester with me…’

‘Nah..’

By this point, he’s trying to ‘barmy smarmy‘ all the way around me, whilst trying to flirty touch me and impress me with ‘money talk.’ He does marketing and all sorts of things. Lol. Runs a company. Knows Steven Bartlett. Lol. He sort of resembled everything that I dislike about men when they try it on….and well…after drinks..I’m sassy one. I’ll let you know that i’m not interested.

AND let me tell you how good the bartenders where…I had been talking to them all night, so they knew I was there and why I was there…and as soon as they saw him ‘smarming’ about me personal space they clocked it to make sure the situation was okay. That’s sweet. Even the women next to me, where like..

‘Who is that dickhead.’

Anyway, he writes his number down and tells me to put it in my phone. I’m not even listening now and just flicking through various Snapchat stories. He’s so pissed he can’t even tell. Lol. But tells me that I can do whatever I want with his number. The ‘balls in my court.’

I just reeled off a mega bunch of extremely sassy ‘no thankyous.’ But he just found it more appealing. He must have, as most boys would then get it, right?

What he chose to do in that moment was

GO IN FOR A KISS!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

HAHAHAHA!

He tried to snog me and before he reached my face, I performed the most delightfully graceful version of the

DUCK AND WEAVE.

It was hilarious. He totally missed because I weaved around him..whilst still on a barstool and then his friends found him and took him home. Lol.

His friends: ‘I’m so sorry about that. We’re grabbing him now and getting him home.’

First of all, If I don’t like you, you probably shouldn’t try and smooch me in PUBLIC, without my consent. Lol. I will duck and weave and you will look silly. I mean, GOD I never kiss boys in bars. EVER! NEVER! Let alone strangers who I don’t fancy. LOL. At least he was confident. I’m always moaning that men hardly make the first move and chicken out. He certainly was no ‘chicken.’ He just chose the wrong ‘dream girl.’

Told ya, Gino’s got the better of everyone last night. It swirled into souls with magic and fun.

Then I got the..

‘Your car is outside ready’

text…and BANG ON MIDNIGHT!

And just like Cinders…after the best night ever….I thanked everyone for having me, cuddled staff ‘bye bye,’ left a gin and tonic on the bar, but ate the cucumber…(You know you’ve had enough to drink when that happens…) and with both ‘glass slippers’ in tact (Cinders leaving a shoe at the ball is beyond me, no one does that, she wasn’t in a rush, she was probably just really pissed and recovered from smashing into the upstairs wall ) and yeah…

…I left the ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

. I felt for them last night. It was a busy one! That operation was run like a dream. You saw headsets and power strutting, but not once did they ever refuse to *pause* and help someone who maybe looked lost. Lol.

All I remember seeing amongst the divine bustle was lots of gentlemen in tight white trousers and blue and white pin striped shirts, that was swirled amongst glamourousity and women who were waiting to see Gino. (He had been in Harrogate, went to Leeds and was due back in Harrogate that evening. He must’ve been SHATTERED. He’s currently at his Manchester restaurant. So shoot down if you want to catch him quickly. I left Harrogate at midnight last night and he was still going strong…and I feel as rough as a donkey. But saying that i did treat my delicate system to endless cocktail shaken espresso martinis and bubbly proseccos. I went for it. You only live once.

 

 

Just because i’m chilling…..

This weekend is utter BLISS! I am on ‘CHILLS! And after what has felt like such a busy time…nothing has felt more DIVINE that this entire weekend of just doing NOTHING AT ALL.

BLISS!

I shocked myself up at six o clock on Friday morning. Literally jumped upright, with my kitty sheets wrapped around me because for some reason I thought I was late for work! That moment when I suddenly realised that I had nothing on, nothing scheduled, no work, no train to catch, no meeting to get to, no quick change and drive off, no city to romance, no worries, no stress….It was the most liberating feeling I had ever had!

I felt FREEEEEEEEE! An entire uplifting whoosh of glee glistened from the tip of my usually stilettoed toes…all the way up through my system and just beamed out of me like magic.

It’s THAT feeling that we all try to capture in life. It’ll spring up upon us, in glorious little ‘flitters‘ and those little ‘flitters’ be it in work OR love, we treasure so preciously, as they don’t jiggle are way as often as we’d like. But do know that these ‘flitters’ are special (I know they are) because no matter how busy, stressed, or how much of a bad time you’ve think you’ve had…hours, days, weeks, months of it….It only takes one tiny moment of a ‘flitter’ (you’ve snagged your dream job, you’re getting the rest that you needed, you got that ‘good news’ phone call, the girl or guy that you love, has told you that they love you back) to make you utterly BEAM and it’s when we BEAM when we are at our most POWERFUL. And that is the moment when we can conquer the entire world.

I’ve chilled. I’m still chilling. I’ve done schools runs. I’ve enjoyed quiet prosecco pours.I’ve had time with the babies..Junior did his first school ‘Taster Day’…Ruby and I have laid together in fields and talked life..

‘But what do I do when i’m older mum..like for a job?’

‘You do what you love…I’ve worked really hard and i’m working really hard, so you can actually do what you LOVE.’

‘Be a sexy lady like you?’

‘No.’

‘I’ll just sell ice creams then.’

‘Okay, good call.’

Then we just carried on doing life, as we laid back on the grassy field, in the middle of nowhere, one light evening and watched the clouds morph into… well she kept saying ‘witch’ but it definitely looked like a penis.

Yesterday evening, I messaged ‘Firmonnell.’ I always message ‘Firmonnel.’ She one of my closest chick besties and we can’t stop being absolute wankers to each other, because we find our banter far too funny. I keep signing her up to Wunna Land future jobs, because she’s just too good at listening to me spew out glittery all sorts and then organizing it all. I’m good at organizing OTHER PEOPLE. But i’m shit at organizing myself. I hate the ‘little bits.’ I just like it done for me. Lol. I tell ‘Firmonnell’ all my secrets and then help her out by not coming to her rescue and telling her that ‘I’d rather die or stroke dogs for 94 hours’ than ACTUALLY help her. 🙂  (I’m not good around dogs. I don’t dislike them. I just….dislike them lol…They seem so needy and I always have to pretend I really like them when they’re near me. Lol. I’m a kitten kinda girl. So yeah, dogs and farmyard animals…are not my favourite. I like humans.)

Anyway, i’m pampering, I’ve tanned, i’ve booked a massage, I’m being mum, I’ve sent great messages, to a great guy 🙂 …..It’s weird how a great guy can just pop up out of nowhere and without you even knowing *BOOM* you’re hooked…Other than that, i’m honestly really just chilling.

I have a really exciting JULY. I’m working with some great brands, doing some wonderful things. I’ll be travelling a lot and enjoying many a cocktail with you. The blog will become alive in July… that is why this chill weekend is so important.

Some of the stuff I have coming up…I’ll be at the British Style Collective. I have a press pass to the event and I’ll be situated at the Lambrini Bubbles bar having visits from famous faces, normal happy faces, all faces…and YOU! I have access all areas and whoever I meet will end up on this blog! So come have a ‘Brini’ with me.  I’ll be telling to the shows gossip via all my social platforms.

I’m filming….I Have a really great shoot. I meet Jack Parsons again on the 4th. I am booked out on the 2nd for a Podcast interview for a show in Chicago. There is a swirl of amazing new cocktail bars, that I have been booked out to visit. I’ll be headed to every GINO’s VIP launch night, as he opens each of his own restaurants. I’m also writing a book. Well putting one together, as it’s already written.

In August I’ll be flying away for a few days. And I will also be visiting some of your favourite football clubs and meeting a few of your favoruite footy stars…where they will be forced into playing a cheeky ‘Wunna Land’ game for all of you to view online. 🙂 Do know that the games are called ‘Cougar Rollie Pollies/ Spit or Swallow & The Referee’s a Wanker.’ I’m sure they’re very excited. NOT! Lol

The diet’s going averagely well. I started out great and well now i just keep eating all sorts. Lol. Same with the rest of the girls. They ALL snapchatted me the pizza that they were having for tea. Curves are in! Fuck it. We’re hot. We’re not slaves to a diet regime. (Code for ‘We’re weak.’) But whatever, I look alright for a thirty six year old, mum of two. I’m like an ageing Pussycat Doll. What could be better than that! I should get trophies are not being an alcoholic. Wait? I’m deciding if I am one or not? (I’ve decided ‘no’ because it’s not my fault if part of my blogging JOB is to have fun at cocktail bars. It’s work. 🙂 It’s hard work. 🙂 )

I’m odd to enjoy the sunshine!

Kisses,

Chrissie xx

(Photo by Chris Stevenson)

 

 

 

 

Chrissie in the city, La Bottega & Ginos with The Girls

Morning! Morning! Hope you’ve shot into you weekend with a rummy *yippeee* and a high kick of victory to the wine Gods. I had a rough yesterday. A looooooooooooooooong work Saturday. It dragged. All of my friends and I did. We were ‘all in.’ It made us retire to our normal home lives and then DRINK GALLONS OF BOOZE until we felt normal. At that point, i cuddled the babies to sleep, talked to ‘the swirl’ (the hottest human I will ever swirl with…I love him, no one beats our banter. He makes my eyes smile….) and then after describing a written book of porn that was gifted to me by a chubby stranger, to review…I resided to my kitten bed sheets and enjoyed a good nights sleep.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

IN THAT TIME …

DRAMA OCCURED. Shit went down…and I missed it.

I don’t know what’s happened, but ‘fairytale’ is all forlorn, so that’s not good. It was her Anniversary last night. Double B was fine…I received a million morning texts from here telling me how much she loved me, whilst fueled by shots and her body weight in red wine. Mel, got in at 2am after a tinseled night on the town in heels and Firmonnell and I bantered about hot pink heels, the best lunch ever and dodgy gimp masks that should only be worn in the bedroom. We laughed so hard we cried, to the point where Hustle Barbie, strutted in looked at us like we were dickheads and left in a strop.

The diets going well. For six days straight I ate zero carbs, just salad and then I had pasta last night and more bags of Wotsits. Lol FUCKS SAKE! I’m gonna send Michelle Keegan a box of wotsits to make her slow her roll.

Y’see in Yorkshire, no one diets during the weekend. No one does. It’s against the rules. On Sunday we have a roast and we drink. That’s it. You’ll meet a Yorkshire girl and she will always tell you that she’s had a few at the weekend and that no one diets during that time. It’s the rules. Like I said. I need to find my Hollywood mentality, but it’s hard when you’re a being a country bumpkin. Lol. I swore that my 23 year old ABS were hiding under my belly fat.

So yeah, I’ve gone and had pasta. I still feel skinny though. In a wibbly kind of glamour puss way. And I don’t care. Fuck it.

Away from all that I have a busy day. A fun day, but a bus one!

I’m all dressed up, in a glammy boobie dress by Jessica Wright and shortly I will be en route to La Bottega Milanese at Bond Court in Leeds, for a morning coffee at the espresso bar with ‘Inadequate Chris.’ (He wants a collabo and well he’s the champion of Snapchat with trophies to prove it. EVERYTHING is social media right now. i mean, Googlebox is now Vlogglebox. Get it? Learn it quickly!)

Straight after my morning breakfast banter with ‘Inadequate Chris’ I will be headed straight to Gino’s (Gino’s My Restauarnt in Leeds, owned by the very sexy D’Acamapo, who I had the pleasure of meeting last month..) as the girls and I are going to celebrate life, friendship and good food, in the name of love. I have a Black card to Gino’s so we’re very lucky to enjoy such a good time. We’re all going to be arriving separately from across the city and tinker into lunch in heels. We’ll be coming ‘up/down/around…and from a meeting.’

We’re also on our last day of texting. For the last 10 days, the girls and I, including Liam in Blackpool, have had our private text messages made ‘live’ to the public for you to read, for an app by Onlookr (onlookr.co.uk) for ‘CHRISSIE IN THE CITY.’

We’ve done really well and enjoyed it and again really lucky as it’s all going be moving forward. You can follow todays actions as we live text from Gino’s.

It’s sort of like ‘Sex and the City’ but in Wunna land, with my friends and the city is Leeds. And it’s been great to let you have insight into what really happens in real time.

We’ll be texting from Gino’s Leeds today, so you can come day ‘Hi’ and be a part of the drama or just download the app and follow our chitter.

I’n really happy. Life is great. I’m in a rush, as I have trains to catch. But thank you. I love you for everything. I’m tanning and rushing. I’ve gotta go.

 

Chrissie x

 

Friday Hoopla, Gino’s & Da Ladies

Yay! Espresso Martini’s for everyone! It is fucking Friday! Technically, this week the Friday ‘Hoopla’ means nothing to me as I’m working ALL Saturday,  (YIPEEEE.) Yet I’ll let you all enjoy your *can can.* I’m one to start the party, not poop at it.

I’m feeling positive and refreshed. I’m smashing my diet, thanks to ‘Fairytale’ and Hustle Barbie. YOU’RE ALL going to jelaous of me in a bikini. I’m not saying that I think i’m fat. I’m saying that I have wibbly bits that might need a *jiggle* off…I’m quite a vain person, so it has nothing to do with my health and everything to do with looking good! Lol. And yeah, you may think that is shit, but it’s not. I did my entire 20’s in Hollywood and my entire career at that point was making money from ‘looking good.’ It’s healthy to shake off ya wibbly bits. Especially when ‘Firmonnell’ says I an have a rum.

‘Honestly, it’s better for you than wine.’

I’ve had to change my mental state of thought, because ‘Hustle’ and ‘Fairytale’ are actually shit at making me just eat leaves. (They’re already skinny, so it doesn’t matter to them.) They’re all..

‘Lets have a bun’ here…’I really need a biscuit’ there…’Chrissie banana bread is just like brown toast with banana on it. It’s good for you.’

‘IT’S FUCKING CAKE!’

So ‘Firmonnell’ and I have made the executive decision TO LET THEM eat cake.

‘Eat it my pretties…’

That way, when we’re supermodel skinny and flouncing around like the happy chick on the Bodyform beach commercials, they’ll be fat…and that will make me happy. 🙂 I’ll look like a Michelle Keegan in a bikini and they’ll look like Stavros Flatley. (Everyone made fun of my Ellen Degeneres Girl Crush yesterday. I don’t get why people don’t see the attraction? If i could marry any woman…it would be HER!)

‘Well yeah, she is funny Chrissie…’

‘NO! She’s hot! It goes waaaaaaaaaay beyond funny. Lol.’

I’ve confused myself really because i’m definitely very straight but GOD, I fancy Ellen. Lol. I’m not even kidding. I adore her. AND she follows me on Twitter!

I’m feeling a bit rough today. I did after work cocktails simply because it was THURSDAY. Not sure why I thought that was such a good idea? However, everyone must have jumped on the bandwagon because the place was RAMMED. In Leeds…everyone votes for cocktails through the week. Which reminds me…I forgot to actually Vote for the Prime Minister. Lol. Fuck it. I voted ‘Pornstars.’

I have lots going on but i’m happy. It feels chilled and in control. This week is a busy one…and during my spits of time off (which is only Sunday) I have a morning coffee with ‘Inadequate Chris’ (he’s a Snapchat star and does these really funny videos.) He messaged me yesterday to see if we could come up with a collabo. We’ll be doing La Bottega Milanese in Leeds, at around 10.30am? Can’t remember what time I said?

THEN I meet the girls, my besties, my dolls (we’ve had our private text messages ‘LIVE’ for the world to read all week and it’s been so fun. We’re almost at the end of our 10 day ‘Chrissie in the City’ stint…Yet we’ve done and are doing so well, that it’s going to get picked up, revamped and moved forward.’ App show here we come. The future is all about Social Media and we’ve accidentally got ourselves a future HIT..if we do it right.)

Anyway, what was I saying? Chris at Bottega? Yes, on Sunday at 1pm, all us girls are meeting up and kicking back to enjoy a prosecco dripped, cocktailed lunch at one of my favoruite Leeds haunts Gino’s. It is owned by the very famous Gino ‘D’acampo. I did his live show. I chatted to him about life. I’m goign to the opening of the Harrogate restaurant. I wrote the infamous blog on his joint (the first time that I visited.) It swirled through the head honchos and D’acampo offices. I now have a Black card…and the girls and I are going to treat ourselves to the finest pasta, cocktails in all the land of Leeds….and glare at delicious Italian waiters…as we get very glamourously pissed.

I want one of Mel’s kittens!

(I love that I’ve just seen a picture of my friend Katty stood by a ‘Polling station’ sign with the words…

THEY SEE ME POLLIN’ ….THEY HATING…’ underneath it. 

Hahahaha! DYING.That’s what life’s about.)

I’ve run out of foundation, had no time to buy any, my hair extensions are falling to pieces and i’ve forgotten to watch Love Island. UGH! FFS! What is life!

 

 

 

 

Here Kitty Kitty & Cocktails

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I’m here you delicious treaty treats! So sorry! I’m back! It’s been busy times. Things are AMAZING, almost ‘Dream Come True’ amazing, to the point where I’m having to piss myself (with laughter, not urine…cos who does that on Thursdays) simply because everything is as turned so ‘fast lane.’ I have shoots, and brand deals and shows and all sorts happening. I can’t even believe it. And my love life isn’t even shit! I KNOW!!! When it rains, it pours and i’m certainly not complaining because even though time is taken, hours seem to flitter and i’m rushing around like a sexy headless chicken…it’s all i’ve ever dreamt of…I’m working really hard, I can’t even tell you how lucky I feel (and that is in ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE) and yeah…for the first time in EVER, I feel confident to actually openly say (and i’m a worrier by nature, it’s hidden well by Estee Lauder..)

‘This is my year…’

(There…I said…it felt good!)

Right, I’m gonna skim all that has happened as I couldn’t at all possibly manage to tell you it all in one blog and due to time that’s all I can pull out of my glitter booty right now.

I chilled all Bank Holiday. Enjoyed family time. Thrived off being ‘Mummy’ and added in a cocktail here and there. I hate it when people become Mums and then decide that all of a sudden the have to wear no makeup, buy a rain mac and shuffle around like lost souls. YOU DON’T. The best part of being Mum, is managing to squeeze out babies, or should I say produce delicious humans and after all that ‘hoo haa,’ manage to pull yourself together and find your femininity again, IT’S SEXY! Throw that fucking rain mac out.

Samantha is enjoying her new swirl. It’s certainly been a work out 😉 . But the thing I adore about her is that she’s dipped in absolute ‘ooh laa’ that is dashed around with warmth. She comes across as sassy, but at 40 something…and i’m nearly fucking there…I want to be able to enjoy ‘my swirl’ with a hair toss and wink. LOL. She’s ‘no nonsense,’ she’s loving, she’s ballsy and doesn’t like watered down cocktails. I’m really glad we’ve become so close, as I really can’t imagine not having her in my world.

Double B: ‘She’ll end up in the  Sex ER.’

Double B is still gyming it. That doesn’t seem too weird. But Double B wouldn’t do such a thing. She craves Turkey Dinosaurs and doesn’t look at a salad twice without having a panic attack. (Wait! I’m making her sound fat! She’s not! She’s 21, blond and extension glamourous with a Kardashian booty.) She’s giving me booty envy. Mine just looks like it got tired and fell down my back.

BUT WHATEVER ‘MY FRONT’ IS GOOD! HAHAHA!

We’re all on diets…and it’s going well but feels like SHIT!

In the space of a few days, ‘Double B’ has managed to decalre that she rather..

‘Suck balls all day than deal with her…’

and that someone dear to our hearts…

‘Looks like speckled meat…’

and that, is she was a…

‘..Prostitute, she’s be a speedy one..like a taxi meter…the quicker they go, the less it’s gonna cost them..’

Firmonnell is all skinny and sassy now. We all couldn’t put our finger on what had changed since her Tenerife return…but i’ve decided and  after a public vote that she’s skinny and sassy now.

Away from all that (i’m running out of time) a really old pervy man came up to me and gave me porn books to read. It’s going to be unfortunate if he ever does find out that I blog and reads this, as I’ve just called him pervy and nearly called him fat. But hey hoe! I read extracts out to the girls, against their wills…On the positive…as least the guy’s expressive and I only had to say the words …

‘Pussy’

and

‘Juices combining’

a couple of times. (Dirty bastard. Lol.) It’s not even the fact that it’s dirty. I love sex and expression. I’ll steal a few of the lines to text over to the swirl on Friday night. Lol. It’s just the fact that he’s tried to be ‘dirty’ and write a ‘dirty book’ to capitalize on the novel raunch that ‘Fifty Shades’ let out into the sassy world. SHE’S ALREADY DONE IT. Write about sex because you love sex. He doesn’t know…as I am sure he doesn’t get it. Lol. (I’m fucked…not literally…if he reads this… ever.)

Anyway, I’ll cut the crap. I’m late for everything now and  still sat in my bra, on the bed trying to type… I NEED A MORNING GIN!

Sometimes in life you just godda kick it and have some fun…so all my friends and I ‘clocked off,’ flung on our jackets…slam shut ‘the work door’ behind us and tottered across town for dinner and cocktails at Ego, In Ackworth,

Eleven of us went and it was delightful. Just a swirl of friendship, wine glasses and laughter. We snapchatted our own versions of the night, so if you missed all that, should should be following. (Chrissiewunna1)

There was a moment where I looked all the way down a long table, filled with the people that I send most of my time with…and for a whole 10 entire minutes every single face was BEAMING. Banter was being made, glasses where being lifted, jokes, life, private whitters and laughter was dancing up and down the table with joy. I watched it because it made me realize how lucky we are to actually aciddentally be so close.

A really great night. at 10pm tood outside Ego waving as ‘Fairytale’ zoomed off with ‘the boys’ in the back of her new mini, whilst shouting..

‘FAIRYTALE BLOND!’

My guy friends then decided to try and make us go out to Biggies lol. I didn’t…But instead of just being normal humans…they (Webbo, Dipper and Double D) made the executive decision to send us all nudes. …yes…of themselves, with the odd picture of chess? Lol. Bare bums everywhere. Hahaha.

I have so much on, but everything is great! I’ve been nominated for the Diversity In Media, ‘Blogger of the Year’ awards…and

‘CHRISSIE IN THE CITY’

Starts TOMORROW…FRIDAY!

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I’m gonna tell you more about it in the next blog this afternoon…I’m gonna try and write it whilst working…

But what I NEED YOU TO DO is

DOWNLOAD THIS APP..But TODAY…like now!

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‘ONLOOKR’

onlookr.co.uk

It takes two seconds…So do it!

You’ll know what i’m talking about if you follow me on any of my social media channels..It’s all over Twitter, you’re all sharing it and thousands of you are ‘liking’ it.

BUT TO BE PART OF THE ACTION…

YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE ABOVE APP!

My best friends and I are going to be giving you ACTUAL REAL LIFE INSIGHT INTO WUNNA LAND, AS WE TAKE ON THE CITY…

We’ve been given our own reality drama show for you to watch…but in  WAY THAT YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!

For the first time ever…,my friends and I (and you will know them from this blog) are going to open up our private and personal messages, our entire Onlookr inboxes…24/7 in real time, as we go along….and for everyone in the world to read!! And when we text….WE FUCKING TEXT! LOL.

All in the next blog…Download the Onlookr APP to be part of it.

 

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Ps/ Photo by the beautiful Clare Pritchard www.clarepritchardphotgraphy.com