When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’ and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ 😉 Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. 🙂 )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it.  I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. 🙂 I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. 🙂

Speak soon,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I got back into Stockings….

So, as all you lot drizzled in Bank Holiday madness, filled with *can can* kicks and sparkler lit cocktails to popular bar beats, as you *winked* at ‘Handsomes’ and eyed up the easy girls…I stayed in, wore a jumper (fair enough it had cherries on it, but that’s hardly wanging it out with conga lines is it) and had to rest in the peace of calm of Wunna land, away from trouble, late nights and any ridiculous mayhem because I had a shoot the next morning. A shoot that I wanted to SMASH. A boudoir shoot.

I even Snapchatted my…

‘Hey i’m staying in because I have a shoot tomorrow, in piglet ears…’ 

LOOK!

Are you following me? No? You have poor taste! Add me now: chrissiewunna1

That’s what I did today. Smashed a shoot. It felt great to be productive at short notice and by accident. 🙂 Yippeee!

Early morning rise, a quick eyelash flutter and a Skinny Tan. I had a bit of a moment yesterday. Even though all was really well, something happened that involved me having to take a minute, a drive away in order to feel okay about things again. Not a biggie. Just a Keiran/Junior issue that hurt my heart for a second. After a wine, a chat with my mum and a Solero, I was fine again. 🙂 When I have niggly problems…I shout about them and have a ‘not real’ sulk. But when something happens that’s big enough to make me properly FEEL, I take it on the life chin, withdraw for a moment and come out of my cave *beaming* like i’ve won some kind of ‘figured it out’ trophy.

This morning, at around noon, (we both got stuck in traffic) I met Clare Pritchard, outside her studio on Westgate, Wakefield and followed her up some fabulous spiral staircases, to her super creative studio and for my very first shoot as a ‘Fallen Angel.’ You should ALL want to be a ‘Fallen Angel.’ What a sassy title…

Now, I’ve met Claire before. We have a mutual friend. (Mel.) Today…I had the BEST time ever, with one of the most talented, unique and creative photographers that I have ever worked with…and I would never just say that, as I’m quite particular when it comes to a bit of picture taking, aren’t I!

I’ve shot with a lot of people in my time. LOTS! All over this merry Earth Ball.However let me tell you, Lil’ Miss Pritchard has GOT IT. She is one sassy, photographic genius. I’ve never had anyone direct me so well through a shoot, show me her version of ‘life’ through a lens and really give me a grasp, a feel of what we were going to produce as a team. I love direction. I take it well. I listen. I perform. I respect a photographer always…But Clare will create mood boards, suggest styling, she’ll get stuck in with you and understand how you work and try and deliver her direction appropriately, to your character. I loved it.

As a model….I’m a go for it kinda girl. I find it easy because I love it. But it’s NOT EASY. You have to love it. I wanted to shoot well. I wanted to nail it. I didn’t want to let her down and you’ll only let a photographer down if you’re not comfortable, confident…or a bitch. 🙂

I’ll always love a boudoir shoot. They’re my favourite. There’s a glamourous sexiness to them. So it just felt so GREAT to be slipping out of my jeans and slipping into my kitten stockings and heels again, to mood music, good lighting and for a bit of sexy picture taking. I was back in my ‘battle wear.’ The uniform.

‘Chrissie….chin down, head forward, look to me.. straight to camera, chin down…and YES…good face…FIERCE.’

We had the most hilarious time, as there we were in the middle of Wakefield, with her big lights and camera and my little dinky lingerie numbers, in the studio creating the most amazing shots. Honestly…she’s great and she can direct ‘sexy’ because she IS so sexy. She would literally SHOW ME what she wanted…and being visual, i’d get it, copy it and smash it. We were such a good team. We laughed the whole time. And it was really great being shot by a girl…as I have never ever in my entire life been shot my a female photography. It helps so much with boudoir, as no one knows a woman’s body better than another woman.

‘Chrissie, there’s a bit of a nipple out on that shot…but ah well it looks good. Lol. Remind me about the fan. Chin down…head forward! BEAUTIFUL! The light on your skin tone is amazing. You look so elegant! GREAT FACE!!! Chin down…’

‘Sorry…I just get carried away and think i’m a showgirl and my head starts kicking back…’

We just pissed ourselves laughing.

‘We should’ve brought Prosecco…’

Nothing was more Girl Power. We’re both sassy. Both creative. Both want to do well. I’d be getting naked and slipping into my next outfit…

‘I won’t look…I’ll turn away and pretend i’m playing with these lights.’

‘Haha…honestly, it’s fine. Worse things have happened to me. 🙂 ‘

…as Clare would be trying to carry these ginormous lights out into the artsy corridor, after showing me the mood of the next set. She is awesome for that, as I’m a story teller…and she’ll direct me by showing me and telling me the story of the next set. It’s sexy AND THE BEST WAY for me TO WORK. It brings soul to the shoot and a simple yet glamourous sex appeal, a ‘LIFE’ to the pictures. That’s something you can’t force…as it’s something you need to FEEL. I loved the raw shots that I saw. (I usually never love the raw shots that I see. Lol)  I haven’t worked with anyone as great when it comes to boudoir picture taking, in a really long time. (I can’t tell you ALL the banter, as you’d literally die of shock! 🙂 )

But yes, these pictures are BIG. They’re important to us both. No one has seen new pictures of me in a while and since that while, i’ve kinda built myself a big old success ladder and climbed up a few more rungs. 😉 These pictures are going to circulate around social media like wild fire…so yeah there’s a bit of pressure and yeah it was important to me that I shot well (I couldn’t fuck it up.) At the same time it’s important to Clare because ..well these are her images, they will represent her work, her reputation and her ‘Fallen Angel’ brand. It’s a bit scary now i’ve said that.

I knew it was going to be great from the get go, as FIRST SHOT in, I felt so comfy, straight away… we smashed it and I saw a *beam* on her face, a confident *nod* as she looked up from her camera and just said,

‘This feels gooood…’

We had a laugh, but we worked hard, so i’m really excited for you to see what we came up with. I loved my time with Clare so much i’m shooting with her again…I CAN’T WAIT. We got on so well.

Yet the great thing about today (other than the cocktails that I treated myself to afterward at Ego 🙂 ) was the simple fact that she reminded me how much I loved slipping on those stockings and delicate lingerie bits. I loved shooting today. I felt so feminine. I felt like I really embraced and celebrated being a woman. She reminded me how much I loved being in front of  camera. How much I loved getting my ‘model’ mode on. You can do something so much that you forget to love it, right? You forget to stop and just look at what you have or what you’re doing!

Today she reminded me how lucky I was and how much I loved what i do, the blogging, the shoots, the entertaining, the creative swirl of it all….It’s magic! AND she inspired me to do well. She brought out the best in me…and nothing is sexier than human who can make you feel alive….

Best shoot ever…

www.clarepritchardphotography.com

 

 

 

Sassy, Bank Holiday Sexiness…

I’M HAPPY!

I’m sprinkled in a confetti fun, dazzled with a giddy charm. I’m feeling flirty, fun rebellious. I’m enjoying my life to the max. I’m laughing with my chick friends, tinkering in the art of business and winking at strangers who deserve a bit of love from Wunna Land. Right now this weekend…even though i’m feeling a bit chubby, I’m totally on top of my game and DOLLS it feels FUCKING GREAT!

I’m enjoying every waking inch of my Bank Holiday weekend. You only live once. I’m loving it.I’m living it and doing everything that I want, when I want. I think there might even be sunshine! I’ve loved, danced and done candy flossed ‘toy store’ openings with my GORGEOUS little Wunna babies. They rinsed me. I didn’t care. If you work hard and can’t spend your money on the people and things that you love, then you’re doomed. I’ve lunched with family. I’ve drank salted rimmed margaritas at Ego in Ackworth. I’ve Pornstar Martini’ed it at city centre pitstops ( I LOVE A POP UP BAR) and over the finest wine, the most delightful lunches and VIP tables that I couldn’t turn up to, I’ve had fun. I’m happy and the great thing is that this weekend, I’m not suffering fools. I’m taking not shit. No nonsense and embracing every part of me that feels powerful.

IT FEELS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

I’ve had lots of my chick friends ask me a great deal about love and how it all works, how men work, how life works with them etc…and FIRSTLY…I’M DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BEST BET. I don’t win stars in that category. I’ve had my heart break and heal so many times that nowadays, each time new love comes striding into Wunna land, I smile, go with it and just keep my fingers crossed with hope good intentions and laughter. That’s all you can do. I know girls like to ‘fuss.’ But i like to keep things simple. If a dude likes you, he’ll like you..and he’ll come get you and if he doesn’t…he won’t. You don’t have o put your life on hold, or worry for nothing. If he adores you…he won’t lose you. Yet, I will say that I have noticed from some of my closest chickdaees that once a guy does ‘get you’ and feels all ‘slipper comfy’…which don’t get me wrong is lovely…sometimes…they forget that to make sure their girl is feeling adored, appreciated and loved. We’re weird ones, us girls. It’s something we always need to feel. Even when we feel it ourselves. When we love, we love whole heartedly, don’t we? We come shooting out that canon head first, in a swirl of love madness. It’s nutty. But hilarious.

Men aren’t the same. They’re growers. *Wink wink* They grow to love…after an initial infatuation..which is pretty sensible, on the whole..Lol. My LA friend Dylan, once explained this to me whilst chucking pasta to a wall, in strips, to see if it was cooked,as a really rummed up Magician decided to get really drunk because no one loved him? Anyway he told me, that men where like trains… and that they needed to *chug* along merrily, with no pressure before they eventually decide to THEN go through the tunnel… slooooowwwwwwlllllllyy…. and once they do and the come out the other end…. they’re apparently hooked, ready and at that point will love you more than anything? He must’ve been pissed? What the fuck was she on about? Dickhead? And that pasta wasn’t cooked. Lol.

Yet, anyway, we as chicks have become so independent, that we’ve cut the guys so much slack when it comes to making them BE MEN. We’re all self sufficient and bouji and can do love, business and life all by ourselves now, can’t we? All that’s great, as I wave the flag for a hard working kitten. I am one. BUT I like to keep love ‘old school’ in a modern day world. It’s hard isn’t it? I’m unconventional, fun and wild, yet i’m a sucker for a guy that knows how to love, goes for what he wants and as he beams, makes her beam like there’s nothing in the world more precious. Like a whirlwind of sensual, magical, yet innocent stars swirl around you both…it’s filled with  trust, loyalty, fun, sex and romance. It pisses all over Tinder. I hate all that shit.

But enough about love! It’s Bank Holiday Sunday! YEAH DOLLS! 2 for 1 cocktails for everyone!

Y’know why i’m feeling so great? It’s because i’ve pulled my kitty socks up and got shit done. I’ve had fun, met up with friends, lunched, drank and had the most divine time with my babies…BUT THIS WEEKEND, after a long week of work (and I did feel sorry for myself all last week) I’VE MANAGED TO GET BE SO PRODUCTIVE AND ACTUALLY GET SHIT DONE.

I’ve smashed it and loved it. No feeling is better to me than that feeling of actually committing to being productive and seeing the results from it. I know!!!

I’ve made sure that i’m all over your news feeds, i’ve replied to all of my messages, I’ve drawn you to fan pages, instagram pages, Tweeted my way into your lives and Snapchatted bits of life, to beckon you into Wunna land like I have Haribo in my pocket or something. 🙂 It’s worked and right now, you’re being a great audience. It almost turns me on. Lol. I mean, I only put in a BIT OF WORK to see what would happened. So if I got my glitter elbow grease out….I’d nail it. I’m feeling really confident. It’s crazy. I’m on FIRE! It’s sexy. I’m feeling sexy. 😉 I mean, I might have even felt so sexy that I Googled Porny Gifs to utilize my feeling of ‘sexy’ into ‘expression. LOL. Just me. No one else. Keeps you out of trouble. What? It’s good for you! 🙂 I’m like a dog on heat right now. I don’t know what’s up with me? I need 24 cold showers…and a seat belt. I’m feeling ‘more than usually’ kinksville. I need to slow my libido roll down.

I love these moments where I put down my daiquiri and make hay whilst the sun’s still shining. I’m ambitious so when I see results..I love it. I’m brimming over with this cheeky prosecco bubbliness. I feel amazing and I hope you do to!

My mind works weirdly, so as Jack Parson’s had told me I’m getting ideas, jotting my them down, whacking them on my walls on Post It’s and slowly putting together a plan. I’m NOT business minded. I’m a creative. I’m really creative. I’m an entertainer. So its almost like I have to approach business creatively or with more thought…OR just work with/hire the right people.

I hope you’re going to enjoy today?I have a few errands to run, before cocktails in Leeds. My friends are either out or doing date night, home life lunches or babies….I mean ‘The Mighty’ (who has managed to produce a second child) text me last night determined to FIND FUN in Leeds, when we were all at home. Lol. I knew that Mel was out, as I met her, Alex & Esme at Ego whilst they lunched and I handed them Garden Centre soap. Lol.

‘Are you trying to say I smell?’

‘Does Esme want a Mocktail. Ruby’s getting one?’

Anyway Mel went off and did hotel night with ‘Her Gary.’ I want a hotel date night. They’re always so much fun. There’s something so sexy sounding about them, right?

But yeah, I’m tired of typing now….

Enjoy the sun…as i’m definitely sure that I want to be laid on some inflatable cactus lilo right now, with a fruit umbrella drink in my hand, about some sunny pool, in a hot pink or leopard string bikini.

I have a shoot tomorrow…I boudior shoot so to speak with Claire Pritchard. She’s an AMAZING photog. I can’t WAIT to be a ‘fallen angel.’ What could be sexier? AND as you may tell…I’m feeling somewhat sexy right now. I’m embracing it as it’s my thing. It’s how I feel and where I feel most comfortable. I love sensuality. I love sexiness…in all forms. More than anything I love being a girl…We should embrace our womanhood more. It’s so powerful, it’s scary. I’m looking forward to filming my Vlog.

Ps/ I’ve spend the morning being obsessed with David Beckhams Instagram page. It’s amazing. You can’t help but love The Beckhams can you? I adore them. They’ve smashed it.

Ppps/ I love that someone actually Googled ‘Sumo Porn’ yesterday and found themselves here on this blog. You dirty bastard. Hilarious.

 

 

Be Happy…

Always remember to do the things that you love. Always remember to ONLY do the things that you love. Pay attention to the things that you love. The things that make you happy. And at the same time pay attention the things that don’t. It can be a job, a lifestyle, a guy, a girl, a situation, a choice, a relationship, your personal environment,  a persona, the people who have around you, Make sure you are happy, as I cannot reiterate to you enough, how precious life is and how even though it may seem like we have ages on this glamourous little Earth Ball…time flies..boy..does it FLY…and we really do only have 100 years, if we’re lucky, to do life, love and live, the way we’ve always wanted. Embrace your new chapters and don’t ever settle for being *stuck* as nothing is worse than a rut, that doesn’t make you smile.

I mean, we has humans constantly try and talk ourselves out of choices that may better us, even if they make us happy and simply because we’re scared that we might not be safe. Y’know, things like…

‘I can’t leave my job, even though it depresses me…’

‘I daren’t fall in love…They’ll hurt me…’

‘I’ve got to do what’s right for EVERYONE ELSE…even if it goes against what I believe is right for me…’

Stay loyal to what makes you happy.

What i’ve learnt from living my life personally, is that my best EVER choices, where i’ve really succeeded and *BEAMED,* be it in business, love or just life have always stemmed from me committing to really big decisions, changes and without fear. I’ve felt fear a lot of times in life…I mean, when i was younger growing up in LA, when i was getting divorced…Many times…I’ve felt fear and every time I have, i’ve felt weak.  I’ve been in a weak place.

These days, I can tell you…that im’ not scared to love madly, like a guy is my world , as I throw the rule book out the window. I’m not scared to change jobs, work or choices…I always know that i’ll be fine and i’ll be happier. I’m never scared to always do what’s right for me. I’m caring, loving and i’m emotionally generous, yet i’m respectful to what I believe in and loyal to that whole heartedly.

Don’t waste your time or life on things that don’t make you happy. It’s not worth it. Be strong, Being unhappy makes you do stupid things. Being happy makes your soul *BEAM.* You’ll feel on top of the world, like you can conquer anything.

I can honestly tell you that with the right love, determination, hard work and passion…you can make ANYTHING WORK. You can make your dreams come true.ESPECIALLY in this day, this age, this time If I can do it. ANYONE can do it!

People always say that in order to be successful you have to make sacrifices and I don’t think you do. As I’m someone who believes that you need a balance of everything in your world, in order to be ‘whole.’ I live every moment, like it’s precious and I juggle everything with merriment. I’m the Queen of ‘the juggle.’ The juggle is real. 🙂 I’m not defeated by having to juggle anything. Yet, yes, you probably have to ditch bad habits and things that prevent you from being happy or a success…Yet when you’ve got the balance right, everything in your world will be easy. It’ll all feel easy. Work will be easy. Money will come easily. Opportunity will be there..and your love life will not be draining. It will flow with happiness and with great ease. You won’t have to try, it’ll just work.

The only reason why i’m writing this blog is simply because I keep having conversations with people, who are so unhappy with the way their life is, yet they dare not even attempt to make a change. Yet, at the same time, I’ve had conversations with random people, on trains, on my walks to work, who are SO happy with everything in their life because they’ve kept it simple and stayed loyal to their own feelings. You can even FEEL how happy they are, because their *BEAM* is contagious.

I LOVE HAPPY PEOPLE.

I also wanted to write this blog to REMIND MYSELF to make the right choices and I don’t always AT FIRST make the right choices, but I always know that i’m gonna be okay, because in the end I WILL because my system can’t help itself. It doesn’t work like that. I’m always happy because  I embrace my chapters and with utter love and passion. As soon as i’m not happy, my system *flags it up* like an ‘alert’ and my soul stops me from continuing this random malarky of *sad face.*

Only do the things you love.

I’m also writing this blog because I get hundreds of messages that seep into my world via all platforms of Social Media. They pour into Wunna land like a digital stream of non stop magic. And I appreciate all your messages. All of them.

Yet, I do sometimes think that some of you see me in a really different light to what I’m actually like in ‘real person’ lol…as I call it… 🙂

Yes, i’m fun, i’m sassy, I’m glammy, i’m gobby and i’m open. But I’m filled with warmth, a love, i’m the most down to earth girl you will ever meet and yeah I adore a piss take and a stilleto strut, but i’m pretty calm and together. I’m pretty sensible…in a fun, wild kinda way. 🙂 I’m not wishy washy at all. I’m positively, with a smile…direct..and i’m kind. I’m not ‘DIVA.’ YET I AM NOT DULL.

I’m a hard person to know, unless you know me, I guess?

But i’m reading through all my messages tonight and there’s so many. I find it so interesting. And even though I love being all over my social media and blogging away…at the same time (and because I believe in balance) I ADORE those moments away, where there’s just me, or i’m chilling with friends, I have zero attention, or those moments where I just get to be MUM and have my pj’s on, as I snuggle and chitter with Ruby and Junior. They’re my entire WORLD!

So it may seem that I’d do anything for a boozy cocktail, good time, a wink a night on the razzle. (And yes, I do adore fun.) YET let me assure you that everything that I do, in my ENTIRE LIFE is FOR Ruby & Junior. EVERYTHING. I live for them. And yeah, I might not have it easy, as i’m a single mum of two, which means I haven’t really ever had the comfort of just being able to be MUM. I’ve had to hustle the whole time. But I like it because it provides for them…and I know that one day the Big Dude up above will cut me some slack and throw me a bone. (No, not a boner. 🙂 ) When that happens…I’ll be able to finally sit back and *breathe* with relief.

Always remember to only do the things that make you happy….

Lots of love,

Chrissie,

Ps/ I’m Snapchatting for the rest of the night.

Catch me there: chrissiewunna1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peacock Dresses, Trophies & Blog Awards

I have got the busiest and stressiest week ahead of me. Infact, it’s not a week…it’s a couple days. I’m just fitting a week into a couple days. Yipppee! When I say ‘stressy,’ I don’t actually mean stressy. I’m talking shite. As it’s all very exciting and all very BIG. I’m utterly utterly grateful. But i think i’m somewhat nervous.

So, I have work. Lots of it. However, this Friday is the big old UK Blog Awards. It’s a big day for me. I don’t expect to win it. Yet, that night is a huge networking night for anyone in Social Media with a personal brand, as the nations top bloggers, vloggers, influencers, brands and scouts will all be there. If you’re a blogger…YOU’RE SILLY IF YOU DON’T ATTEND THIS EVENT. Buy tickets. I mean, it sometimes makes me laugh, as I hear and get all these messages from people who are wanting to start a blog or have their digital content make a *stomp* in Cyberland…Yet they’re just sat at home twiddling their thumbs and have forgotten to go network at a venue that will be juiced with actual brands and agents wondering around looking for the next digital stars to wave the flag for their companies? Heeeellooo?

But yes, that’s on Friday, but on that Friday I’ll have a morning travel down to London, I’ll check into my hotel, yet I have then scheduled in a meeting with CEO Jack Parson’s at YourfeedUK (who i’m excited to meet) and after that little tinker of a meeting, I’ll be headed back to my hotel to be groomed and ‘dolled’ (I might actually also have to do some filming inbeteeen that time,) before I jump in a cab and head over to Park Plaza in Westminister for the Blog Awards. Well, I think that’s where it’s all going down?

I’ve been styled and they went with the Peacock dress. Yet, it’s so glamourous and so delightful that I’m now thinking,

‘Is that really the dress of a loser? Do I want to lose in that dress? Do I want to draw all this attention to myself and then lose? It’s a winners dress, not a pity party frock.’

So, I might go for something a little less ‘HEY LOOK, I’M A STAR.’ Lol But saying that, we know I probably won’t.

I’m excited. I have a week of work and promo for it. I’m not at all organised, as I haven’t even managed to gain EYE SIGHT for the the event yet! FUCK SAKE. I’ll be dressed like a peacock, without an award and BLIND all at the same time. I haven’t booked anything, or even given my courteousy email to Jack at Yourfeed yet. I have a management meeting, a brand meeting, I need to talk to my videographer…and I really want my nails doing,

The bank holiday has confused me, so I don’t know what day it is? Tuesday right? So, I have two days to sort my shit out and get my pretty oriental self to London on Friday. I need eye sight, that’d be a start.

AND to top it all off, whenever I go down to London, everyone wants me to show up at their joint, hotel, bar, party etc….so I have a pleather of ‘invites’ and saved tables awaiting my arrival, yet honestly, I really won’t have the time. If I did, I’d be there. I also have my Celeb one Snapchat Takeover soon and all my Summer is getting booked up with work that I have some very big decisions to make. Ugh!

I definitely should become a massive alcoholic, as these next couple days are going to ‘thrown down.’

Love you,

Chrissie

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m in a SWIRL….

I’ve had the most AMAZING weekend. To be fair aside from a shoot cocktails and chilling with family and friends…It’s been pretty chilled. Yet it’s how I’ve FELT this weekend, that has glitter glided Wunna land with ‘ooh laa.’

I’m in, what I call…’a swirl.’ 🙂 🙂 🙂 A Wunna land ‘swirl’ is that slow motion moment of absolutely glee that you experience, when you’re radiating happiness, a beam from your heart and you just can’t stop smiling and all because of a current ‘romantical’ 🙂 encounter. A swirl is always in the present, it is a ‘moment’ of now and that is what makes it magical. (Oh! And I have new flooring down in two rooms, after late night workabees with tool boxes came and sorted it all. I cocktailed under the evening stars, to get out and let them get on with it. I came home to new floors. SOOOOOOOOOO GRATEFUL. That’s made me smile also…Lol.)

But i’ll cut the crap.

There’s this guy…

I don’t even know how to tell it or say it, as my ‘swirl’ has got the better of me? I’m a kitten, it’s what happens. But i’ll try my best, right? Obviously, my weekend of fun had to get postponed to next weekend due to ‘circumstance’ yet bizarrely, I have had the most surprisingly fulfilling time of ‘chitter’ with this guy, that has helped us to get to know each other, so much more closely. It’s crazy.

I WILL tell you that I woke up Saturday morning and accidentally smashed my face on the corner of a wall…Lol…I’M THAT GLAMOROUS. There was blood everywhere and it was all very dramatic for a good 3 minutes. 🙂 Then wet wipes and Estee Lauder came to my rescue and *POP* I looked brand new…fresh out of a glamour pusses rescue box. Then swarmed with a Glitterati Army, a glam squad, beauty brushes flying and fresh white dressing robes…I shot for a new campaign for one of my favourite brands, that you will all here about shortly.. because what I do is tell everyone about it. 🙂 I guess that’s why i’m such a trendy cyber tool for brands right now…KEEP THEM COMING! I’m loving life!

Anyway, all morning and right until the last part of the night, where we both committed to  ‘shut eye’…the guy in question and I had been back and forth messaging all day. We got on with our own version of life, whilst inviting the other in…This guy is really attentive, so like myself really, if you message him he’ll message back straight away, he’ll remember to check in always and without being prompted. He’s hilarious. He’s sweet. He’s sexy…but he’s loving? I say it with a question mark, because i’m surprised. He’s extremely expressive, which is what I adore in people. I’ll tell everyone exactly how I feel always and I’ve always found it hard to find gents who do also. Not with this one…he’s on it. I tell him everything. It’s almost like having a ‘bestie’ that isn’t remotely in friend zone because I want him so badly sexually.

Then he had a few hours where he had to concentrate on the ‘football’ part of his life. (Stereotypical isn’t it. 🙂 One went to a glammy shoot, the other went to play footy.)

I tottered out to grab early dinner and keep myself busy with cocktails at ‘Ego’ in Ackworth. my fave local spot and mainly because yesterday when i tottered in, the bartenders there all looked so happy and busy. They were having the most hilarious time ever, making fun of each other, laughing out loud…the energy was good and with a..

‘HEY CHRISSIE…Cocktails?’ *Wink*

I felt right at home. They love me there. I love them there. It’s how it works and I Tweet my love for them always. Lol. I sat at the swanky bar and laughed along with them…next to some middle aged guy and his milfy wife. They were great! I loved her. Milfy wives are usually evil, but she was sweet and funny. I find that sexy, so i ordered another drink to celebrate…

‘I want something that’s not crazy boozy..?’

‘I’m making you a Miami Ice tea…Lol…’ (The most boozy.)

He just kept pouring this mixture of shots in an trying to disguise it all with ‘fruitiness’ and smiles. We were all pissing ourselves.

‘WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! WHAT ARE ALL THOSE SHOTS!!! What is that mystery *no label on it* bottle? Haha. Why does that look like man juice??’

‘If you don’t like it, you don’t have to pay for it. it doesn’t have ruffies in it! Lol’

‘Here’s a free strawberry daiquri Chrissie..’ said another voice and a hand that poked around the bar. JEEPERS.

The cocktail was delicious…So once again THANK YOU EGO for making me cocktails that tasted like deliciously fruity, sex without protection….:) You’re may favourite bartending team. I’d give you an award if I could be arsed. 🙂

So it seems that I was so in the Ego cocktailing moment…but I wasn’t. I swept away in my swirl.

The guy had finished up and got home and we were chatting the whole time…as I was finishing my drinks…and let me tell you, we literally just beamed and laughed out loud the whole time. There’s a buzz about us. A chemistry. But not an irrational ‘all over the place’ chemsitry. It’s more a well balanced, lively, yet sexy chemistry that is sponged over with a friendship and a cuddle blanket of peacefulness..a happy. 🙂 I don’t think we can actually believe that we on so well. and it’s just great because like I said to him…

‘Everyone would think, that we’d be out being absolute total knobs, when really we’d be home watching The Voice in our slippers..I love a good sing song show! Lol.’

‘Haha…Me too! I know!!! I love it! You’re stunning y’know. You’ve got me smiling, we get on so well..I can’t wait for Date Night…a nice meal a few drinks.. I’m hooked..’

We’re quite misjudged people…so it’s lovely to know each other personally.

I literally tell him everything…I sat back on my bar stool, comfortably against the wall, in my knee high boots..absolutely beaming and I said..

‘Look at us two!!! Lol. We should’ve done this earlier. But i guess, you end up talking to people when you’re meant to. I’m hooked too…I’m sprung. I obviously want you. Madly. I’m SO attracted to you and at the same time I love that we get on so well. You make me happy. We’re going to be THE BEST. It’s perfect.’

‘You are making me smile from ear to ear here! 🙂 🙂 You’re gonna make me a happy man. This is worth the wait. I want to make you feel like a million dollars. x’

‘You already do.. I want you to wake up every morning and feel like the greatest man alive.’

Then…..as the ‘look at us being lovey’ swirl, had obviously taken flight and magically ‘Gone fucking Ape’ around our two lives…

He sent me a Snapchat… Not a naughty one. But a Bunny Eared, Voice Changer one of him singing along to The Voice intensely…

HAHAHA! See! That’s why he’s ACE! Dying!

Not only did I die with laughter, but as soon as I opened up my *snap* and watched it, my PHONE FUCKING DIED, so it looked really bad like I hadn’t responded. Lol. So I had to get random people to charge my phone for me, just to reply.

I got home. We chatted all night. My floors were finished. (Thank you so much!) I showed the boy..in my voice changer, bunny ears.

Then the rest of it is far to dirty for me to tell you about…:)

What? We’re sexy people? We’re both that way inclined and just crave each other all the time..I’m sprung.

Therefore, like he responded with Bunny Ear songs…which makes him ace. I responded with ‘send nudes’ material. Lol. I really did…and a flipping ‘let me just have this wine first’ video..which in his world…makes me ACE. LOL.

‘You ARE going to make me a very happy man… I’m just beaming!!’

Shush you lot. We’re grown ups.

Then back in snapchat bunny ears and jumpers…

‘As if you’re just laid their in your jumper after i’ve done all that shit!!LOL’

…we chatted some more and laughed the rest of Saturday away…

‘Hurry up Next Week!’

And as Saturday was over, but not yet turning into Sunday…we chilled out and tuned out…

‘Night. Night Wifey xx’

‘Love you Hubbster… xx’

The thing about life is that it’s there to be lived and it’s the moments like my Saturday night, that make you feel alive…It’s those moments that you should treasure…as it doesn’t matter if that moment is temporary or forever…it’s ALIVE and it’s NOW! It’s always about how someone makes you FEEL. Everything is about how you FEEL. When someone MAKES me feel great…I always treasure them.

And so no matter what…on Saturday April 2nd…I felt alive….because of this guy…

Hope you had the most AMAZING WEEKENDS!

Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girls, Business and I’m Going on a Date…

Where to begin? Busiest Tuesday ever! But I must secretly love busy, as I watched ‘Fairytale Blond’ fuck Tuesday morning off with a McDonalds breakfast, (she’s had a stressy love life weekend. Not ideally ‘fairytale’, yet it’s all been glossed over with smiles and love. So i’m happy.) I did ‘Marks & Sparks’ lunch with ‘Firmonnell,’ who I just can’t help but love. It’s almost like there’s nothing ‘Firmonnell’ can do, that would ever piss me off, as we have the same warped sense of humour and tap into each other emotional chick zones. I talk to her a lot about life, my secrets, work, boys everything…If there’s a person I gossip to, it’s often ‘Firmonnell’ at any point. Mel…in ‘the cupboard’ when you’re not watching. Fairytale Blond on Snapchat, Shelby openly with office banter and sass, Lynne and Lady Shizzle in the morning and Hustle Barbie when she’s opposite me.

Me: ‘I thought we were all on the same period cycle..but we must not be? Have you had your period yet?’

‘Yeah. A week ago! I’ve come off mine???

Me: ‘But why have you had your period before me. You’ve left me hanging??’

I then  praised the Lord, Gospel Style with ‘Double B.’ We’re said our ‘Amens’ to the world with sass and bad accents! That’s how we chose to spend a good ten minutes of our life. Pretending to be a gospel choir. 🙂

Double B: ‘Fairytale Blond! Just do it. Just take that call and start praising the Good Lord, Jesus and all that other good stuff.’

Instead cookies distracted us.

Y’know, we’re all chicks and we’re all working so hard and dabbling in business this and business that. We’ve all had sort of these amazing weekends because we need those two days in a row to just RELAX and enjoy alcoholics. I mean, ‘Hustle Barbie’ went from a weekend of doing ‘The worm’ and ‘Just for Chrissie *Twerking* videos on snapchat’ to the most conservatively glamorous Monday morning of executive stuff that you could imagine. (She’s just sent me a snap of her stew dumplings, which Hot Alex her boyf ate, so she couldn’t bring me a portion. 🙂 But I love Alex, as he bought her a surprise holiday.)

I want to tell you about Mel and her trip to the gynecologist, LOL…but I don’t know if I can…so I’ll wait on that until tomorrow. Hahahahah! DYING! I love her! She nearly passed out. If she gives me the ‘go ahead’…the story is yours. LOL. Mel is terrifying. But I LOVE HER. We’ve become SO close over the past months. She’s in a love swirl and it’s making her smile. Plus, I admire her for her ‘warrior’ type attitude to all that she is going through. Sometimes it’s not easy being a girl. We just make it look easy. 😉

But yes, it’s a really busy time on Wunna Land and today a dude named James did suggest that he ‘would be my SheWee baby.’ Hahaha! Yes, he sang it to me. 🙂 

Apparently my girl friends and I moan so much about having to walk up three flights of stairs in heels to do a wee, that we should all rethink the idea of having ‘She Wees.’ (If you don’t know what that is, it’s a portable wee penis looking spout that a girl can wee in times of trouble.)

FIRSTLY! I AM CHRISSIE WUNNA, GLAMOUR PUSS EXTRAORDINAIRE AND YOU WOULD HAVE TO GAUGE MY DIAMONDS AND EYES OUT BEFORE I EVER USED A SHE WEE.

But fuck it, let’s give them a bit of promo…It’s better than going in a bush. (I’d rather go in a bush.) And handy if you’re a ‘Festival chick.’ (I’m not a grubby festival chick. 🙂 )

But yes, if you’ve prefer not to wee in someone’ cupped hands…than a She Wee is the answer to all your prayers, Google it.

James offered to BE my ‘She Wee’ today. Lol. AND cupped hands!

Me: ‘Why are you a dickhead?’

Fairytale Blond: ‘What is a She Wee?’

Double B: ‘It’s like a crack pipe for nunnies…’ LOL.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE LIFE!

Away from that, I will tell you that on Sunday I decided to go on more dates….

I haven’t dated in ages…I don’t want to be dry when it comes to the art of dating…but i don’t want to just date anyone, who isn’t the right soul fit.

Get it?

Anyway, I recieved this message…from a guy that i’ve been ‘on and off’ chatting to for actually years now. Not constantly…but he popped up again recently.

Before, i wasn’t really in a position to go on a date or feel like a dating…

However, in life, sometimes you just have to say ‘yes’ to more things..Saturday…I’m on a date…In Ipswich.

It’s a Date that my guy friends are more excited about than my chick friends. Aside from Mel and ‘Firmonnel’ who know sport or have husbands who know sport…

I haven’t been on a proper sort of meet up, ‘date’ with a guy, in a long time, where I have felt a ‘swirl.’

I feel a ‘swirl’ going down..

I’m excited for Saturday. He tells me he is also. Banter and chitter chatter is good and i find him ‘sexy’ hot. So we’ll see…At least he’s forward enough to quite cheekily and charmingly ‘have a go.’ That’s hot. We get on well…I like him…I have my ‘swirl’ smile on.

Firmonell: ‘I can tell you’re in a swirl this time!’

So yes, I have a shoot that morning and then i’m headed off to go spend some time with the ‘Mister Mister Football Player.’

I haven’t been on a ‘swirl’ date in ages…

🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

What chu’ know ’bout…..

Stuff you might not know about me…

.  I’m allergic to nuts (No…not those kind. 😉 ) 

.  I’m thirty six and a Sagittarius

. I’m a germaphobe.

. I lose interest when people tell me long winded stories and don’t like it when they don’t hit the ‘bullet points.’ lol

. I’ll slum it with a smile, but much prefer luxury

. I am a trained ballet dancer

. At school I got my ‘Drama’ colours 🙂 

. I hate listening to all my voicemails. They scare me when they come bundling in.

. I love banter. All things funny and all people who humour me.

. I once created an anal vibrator for Ann Summers called ‘The learning curve.’ 🙂 🙂 It sold nationally and was filmed for a TV show that opened to 1.7 million viewers. 🙂

. I’m relaunching ‘Diaries of a Glamour Puss’ the book on my life…and because I didn’t like the first version. 

. Yes…I did used to be a Glamour Model. But I also used to work in a shop, but nobody rambles on about that. Lol. 

. I once had a kitten named ‘Gucci’ and a white long haired chihuahua named ‘Victoria Beckham.’

. This year i’m going to start going on more dates…

. My last snapchat encounter was watching ‘Hustle Barbie’ twerk.

. I was the first oriental girl to grace the front pages of a UK lads mag. 

. I can draw you. 

. I’m really into all things spiritual. I see a psychic often for guidance.

. My current favourite cocktail is a strawberry daiquiri

. I don’t like bad manners

. Romance is my favourite

. I used to live in West Hollywood

. I used to live in Doncaster

. I don’t like giving advice incase my advice guides you down the  wrong path

. I really love Little Mix songs.

. I do hope to marry again

. I once was forced to do a wee in a plastic cup and hand it to a stranger from my car window as I crossed the Mexican Border. I hope they didn’t drink it, as I didn’t tell them it was wee.

. My favourite ‘get me going’ hustle track is the intro to ‘Billie Jean’ by Micheal Jackson. But just the intro…Haha. 

. I once made a Drag Queen piggy back me all the way home. 

. I drive a Mercedes but my favourite car is a powder lemon, convertible VW Beetle. I’d love one. 

. When I don’t wear my face, I look like…Junior. (if you aged him 100 years.)

. I am currently being hailed as the UK’s Carrie Bradshaw, which amazes me, as I grew up being a massive ‘SATC’ fan.

. I’m more creative than I am a business woman.

. This Summer will be awesome.

. I’m starting an Episodic Vlog shortly. 

. I’m more ‘witty’ than I am ‘DIVA.’

. I like people more than dogs. 

. I’m really bad at comforting people appropriately when they are crying infront of me. 🙂 


 

 

Actual Crazy, Hollywood, Amaze Balls…

I am have the most smashing LIFE time EVER! I’m feeling GREAT! I’m sort of just taking a chill from all things too ‘social media,’ yet not for long, as I live and breathe it…I mean a couple of days…However, it’s enough for me to take a second to just get on with the ‘norm’ of my daily work and secretly CELEBRATE. 🙂

Yes! You heard! I am about to head into the most DELICIOUSLY AMAZING APRIL EVER and what i’ve learnt from life, is that before the sexy storm begins, you just have to take a moment and enjoy a victory *wiggle wink.* JUST SAYIN’! And that..I am!

I’m still busy. But i’m beaming.

I can’t tell you much about my April. But I can tell you, that I have some of the most wonderful events coming up, some divine brands ready to be *winked* in Wunnaland AND the UK blog Awards next month, which if you didn’t know…I’m a finalist of. I won’t win it. But i’ll certainly be there. It’s such a great honour and it’s almost one tick on my ‘dreams come true’ list. I’m SO grateful for all the support I have from ym friends and family. I mean, GOD, my Mum is always very..

‘You don’t have to win it, to win in the end…and ya Dad and I KNOW that you win in the end..’

HOW SWEET! How Lucky am I!!

But do also know, that Wunna land is not silly enough to not go, as it will be the greatest networking event ever. I might not win the trophy, but i’ll smash the ‘social’ banter…

More exciting news…*Wait whilst i take off my waist shaper and air throw/ mouth catch a few *Popaballs* (Google them) I start a Vlog shortly…AND IT’S AMAZING. I’m still blogging, as that’s what I do. And it seems i must do it well? Yet now, you will be TREATED to real life episodes of chrissiewunna.com. And Wunna Land is SO fun that you’ll either piddle with laughter or die with shock….which is a ‘stunned’ way of creaming embarrassment.

HOWEVER WAIT! Due to me coming from a Reality TV background, it seems that if I truly wanted I could actually sample my hand at Vlogging, by just skipping it and whipping Wunna land life out on the actual telly. I KNOW! This is where ‘who you knows’ matters! So make you connections But prove yourself. I was obviously years ago on ‘Paris Hiltons British Best Friend’ on ITV2, and one of their focal characters. It s the same people who read a Tweet, where in which I said,

‘Looking for Videographers/Editors’

…who immediately shimmied into my inbox.

I will also so, that hundreds of Videographers filled my inbox…and i’m still going through you all, yet I pretty much know who i’m going to use,

Yet, it’s great. As i’m still doing an episodic vlog and it certainly won’t be lame. 🙂 And I’m feeling so *pumped* about it right now, as one of my LA besties, has just got his movie commissioned and it is currently, this second being produced and filmed….and this is no low budget ‘try out…’ it’s a big ass movie and IT HAS MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY IN IT. He sent me a snap of his ‘Directors Chair’ today. It made me smile. 🙂 He was GIDDY! It’s Matt!

Image may contain: one or more people and people sitting

YET HE TOLD ME THIS…

‘Chrissie…you’ve got it. Don’t let anyone out there make you think that they’re better than you in your niche, because they’re NOT. You’ve got ‘it’ MAJOR, you grew up LA style and the cream always rises to the top. I’ve known you forever, as friends, as…y’know..;) …I read ya blog every day….and something just tells me that you’re on to smashing great things..’

‘Can I be in you next movie dude?’

‘As if you thought you even had to ask. 🙂 ‘

But yes, it may seem that I’m on a chill, yet it’s actually quite the opposite. i’m just celebrating life with the people that I *heart* and on a day to day basis getting my very normal ‘work’ on. *Pout.*

I’ve had some ace conversations today. So ace that now i’ve had nearly a bottle of red wine, I can’t remember them? Here are some snippets…

‘Yeah it’s much sexier if you say your girlfriends from Mauritius and not Hull.’

‘The filth drawers getting empty…’

‘Did you know that the fried eggs from Haribo are actually meant to be UFO’s’

‘Shut up dickhead. They’re fried eggs. That makes no sense, as why would they make UFO’s fried egg coloured.’

‘Just be awful to me Chrissie, I can’t stand it when you’re nice to me. It makes me blush and feel awkward. I’m the youngest of six. I come from a piss take family. We don’t do compliments…’

‘I’m losing the will to live here..’

‘I need a filling!’

‘Are these pear drops apple?’

This year, I am going to smash it…and for the first time in ages, I feel as though i actually know what i’m doing.

For the first time in ages, I actually KNOW that I know what i’m doing and i feel juiced!

So yes, I’m gonna work, cocktail and enjoy life for the rest of this merry March and then….

Oh Dollies…Wunna Land is going to *rev* shit up…and smashed the most glamorous ‘bastards’ out of ya’ll. *Giggles*

Kisses…

Chrissie x

ps/ I’m leaving you with this song, as it is firstly my 3 year old son’s CURRENT FAVORITE SONG and because Maroon  5, used to be my ‘across the balcony’ neighbours. They told me one night, when we were all really pissed, that their band would make it big. 🙂 🙂 🙂 I got trashed on tequila and cried over a boy as the drummer carried me to my apartment….

 

 

 

 

What a weekend, Secrets & Cougars

I need two extra days added onto my weekend please! It’s just been a ‘runner.’ Once of those ‘smash out of work on a Friday’ shindigs, that has glamourously led me into a weekend of ‘go, go, go.’ Schedules! Meetings! Babies! Madness! I’m shattered. I’ve lost my voice. I’d like Greek ‘Handsomes,’ in Toga’s to massage me back to good health. I’ve dropepd my phone and smashed my screen. (UGH!) AND, I’l tell you that I’ve accidentally got a dandy bit awesome at this whole ‘game of business’ malarky! To be fair, everything’s gone wrong this weekend. So technically, I could’ve just chilled it with Ruby and Junior in my comfies the whole time. Infact ‘wrong’ is the incorrect term. I’ll say it went ‘not as smoothly as it could’ve.’ But that’s because I spend so much time working hard throughout the week, that when it comes to the ‘weekend work,‘ I’m not remotely organised enough for it. I’ve learnt a lot. IN TWO DAYS. Over the next couple of months. I’m going to SMASH IT. *Cue: Beyonce Helicopter Hair Whip* Fuck it! Add *Lambrini shower sprays* to it also!

I’m just gonna skim it all, as I need time to chill, before Monday kicks me in the *hoo haa.*

Saturday was rushy. I did breakfast and shopping with the babies and my mum, as I magically *whirled* through the dash of life, in heels, big hair and whilst snatching last minute ‘needs’ to prep me for the weekend. I had to go pick up the car from Mercedes. I fitted in an important partnership meeting.

Me: ‘So what it is that you want me to help you with?’

Company: ‘*&&)($£”!$$£&**£, so how much?’

Kinda made me feel all powerful for a millisecond!

*Hands were shaken on this.*

Then, I grabbed my Gucci canvas bag and with the wind in my hair *dashed* quickly across town, in my faux fur to Cosmo’s. Where I enjoyed ACTUAL lunch, equipped with a wine drizzle, with my Mum, Dad, Brother, Ruby & Junior. We’re a really close family & it’s great because it makes my world always feel bubbled over with support, trust and that good old unconditional love. I am never emotionally starved or lonely. Wunna land is filled with LIFE. I always remember to *pause* and enjoy those moments with the people I love. Work is work. Even if you love what you do. Yet if your world isn’t balanced, you’ll find, in time that your soul will never be fulfilled. I ‘smell the roses’ and I smell’em good! 😉

Then I had to rush off, grab an outfit, constantly clock watch, as I treated The Wunna Babies to anything their hearts desired, make phone calls,  organise train times and get home as soon as I could. IN MINUTES, I  showered, tanned, did my hair, face and *pout.* I slipped on the tight gold pencil dress, quickly but delicately buckled on my rhinestone Gina Shoes (the ones that Paris Hilton gave me for getting naked. The poor sods have been dashed through life like glistening, burlesquesy….Wunna land…slaves.)

Kissed everyone ‘Goodbye,’ skipped into a waiting car, flung myself to the train station to get on the next ‘choo choo’ to Leeds for 7.30m, for my 8pm Business meeting, at ‘Mumtaz’ Leeds.

It kinda all went wrong from that point on…

I was texting through my journey, fully done up in a casual corner train seat, listening to the guy infront of me, tell the guy infront of him that he was..

‘Off to an Engagement party…’

‘Oh? I’m off to see some bird. Been talking to her for 2 weeks..’

Abeiku Arthur (who owns the High Fashion magazine ‘House of Solo‘ that I AM CURRENTLY IN) had messaged me, as he had two contributor meetings in Leeds also. We’re really good friends..really good friends and we always piss ourselves at life, our own businesses and at the same time wind each other up playfully, with our natural competitiveness. I WIN EVERYTHING!

The Leeds Skyline draws in, it’s now night and the sky is littered with stars, around me there is a bustle if excitement. I took the fun train to Leeds. That train where everyone is dressed up and ready for a night of cocktailing around the city. The boys with their shirted entourages, the girls in their heels and tight dressed winks.

I looked glamourous, BUT I had business to tend to…

Yet! OH WHAT DRAMA.

Right before I met this person, I was to print off a ‘non disclosure’ form, sign it and bring it to my meeting, to make sure that nothing discussed DURING the meeting was repeated. I didn’t have time to do the form. I couldn’t find a printer anywhere. Life was mayhem. We were messaging back and forth as HE couldn’t find a printer either…and then suggested that we push the meeting BACK to 9pm, instead of 8pm, so he could go and BUY A PRINTER, to print off the form and have me sign it before the meeting.

So, I had to chill for an hour with a wine, by station luggage trollies, in my golden dress and my faux fur, as strangers kept popping up to me and telling me that ‘loved the blog.’ All drunks love this blog. That makes me smile. 🙂 I don’t thing i’ve selfied with as many trashed people in my life. I should’ve charged.

Now, I was Snapchatting EVERYTHING! Thank you to those who were watching all this in action. And Abeiku Arthur was also watching my pain and PISSING HIMSELF LAUGHING.

So after he smashed his last meeting at 7pm, he messaged me to tell him to..

‘Meet me out the back..’

And there he was, with his smug little African face, pissing himself that CHRISSIE WUNNA, QUEEN OF GLAMOUR PUSSES, was stood on her own, by luggage trollies, looking like a dickhead, because unlike his finely polished meetings, MY MEETINGS WERE going tits up!

He sauntered out of his car, walked up to me and PISSED HIMSELF LAUGHING, demanded KFC and said,

‘It totally looks like you’ve been stood up! HHAHAHA!’

‘DUDE. I’m waiting for the guy to print off the non disclosure form before he speaks to me…’

”THAT’S FUCK UP. LOL. That’s not how you conduct business. You’re waiting by trollies I want a KFC.’

‘You know ********* is at ****** right now.’

‘Can’t you just fuck off your meeting and we’ll go there to see them…and then you can just get a ride home with me.’

‘No. I’ve got to be there in fifteen minutes..’

‘Surely people meet YOU because they want EVERYONE TO KNOW what they’re doing??? It’s backwards.’

Time flew with company…company that I was SO GRATEFUL for and it seemed that I was all dressed up with somewhere to go finally! Y’see, the thing about Mr. ‘House of Solo’ is that he’ll always pop up and keep me company…even if he’s performing a piss take.

He drove me to my meeting to make sure I was safe…

‘Right, i’ll wait here for five minutes, so text me….then i’m gone…’

I was fine. I mean, GOD. I’m the most independent chick that The Earth has ever birthed. But that was really sweet of him. He sang and danced all the way in the car, to ‘Boss it‘ hip hop jams, as he drove me, through the city streets.

My meeting was still..

‘I’m en route and running late….

So I stood on the bridge at The Leeds Docks, over the canal, watching the stillness of the night, as the lights of Mumtaz reflected onto the water and with mood lit, skyscraper buildings surrounding me. Tipsy 20 somethings.. in suits, who had been at the races all day staggered by in good spirit. There were couples, couples, everywhere couples. All in love. All excited. All in lust…and for the first time in ages…it bothered me. I wondered where my ‘counterpart’ was? Am I just going to be single forever? My life partner is currently roaming around the Earth…trying to find me. If you see him…GIVE HIM A FUCKING MAP, A LIFT, CALL HIM AN UBER, GET HIM HERE. 🙂

Then my meeting came walking across the bridge, by the Royal Armouries. (Which is where I did the Leeds Lifestyle Awards.’ He shook my hand under the evening stars…as he introduced himself…

AND I CAN’T TELL YOU ANYTHING MORE BECAUSE OF A NON DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT LOL. 

I got home at midnight. I had early morning breakfast with the babies. We all went to a shoot at noon, yet we had to push it back to Saturday, so I can sort out better styling etc…These shots are going to be AMAZING and we all agreed that we wanted them out there exactly right! (So I’ll be telling you all about it….next weekend.)

I then did lunch with my Mum at my Favoruite Local spot Ego, in Ackworth. What is better than Sunday Dinner and cocktails. The kids love it. I love it.

AND….

I SPOTTED A REAL LIFE COUGAR IN THERE TODAY. I always talk about cougars and joke about how i’m one in training. (I’m not joking. I AM one in training. I always date younger than me.)

But I hardly ever see a real life ‘Cougary Couple.’ TODAY! I DID! And it made me feel moderately awkward. Lol. She didn’t OWN her Cougarness…She infact looked really insecure. Hahaha! Like whenever he looked away, at just ANYTHING. A glass, a light switch…a hot Burmese Oriental chick. 🙂 She threw ‘daggers’ at him with her eyes. I can’t tell if he’s going to get loads of blow jobs tonight, so she wins him back over, or if he’s going to get none for just looking around him?

When i’m a cougar. I’m going to BOSS IT! 🙂