Writers Block, Jiggles & That Little Bit Of Saffron

Dear Diary,

I have CRAZY WRITERS BLOCK! It’s awful! I mean, so much has gone on in the last few days, the last few weeks..that I don’t even know where to begin? I’ve been through changes. Great changes and i’m exactly where I want to be. Yet, I guess changes are always alarming on the old kitty system at first, aren’t they? Well until you get used to them.

It can be new starts, new chapters, new cities, new jobs, new relationships, new friends, new anything…They’re all great…Yet your soul jiggles about a bit, until you feel settled. Once you do settle…you become alive…you’re on fire. So, like myself, if you’re experiencing anything NEW, know that you’re fine, it’s good for you and when the ‘Jiggles’ settle, you’ll be dandy as prosecco pour!

HURRAH!

I have writers block.

I don’t know if it’s because my heads a bit of a muddle, like I said so much has gone on, all wonderful, yet still alarming? But my brain needs to *bloom* and hurry up with the blooming process…Lol, as right now it’s a bud and it’s closed tight!

All I know is that i’m happy. So that’s good going, isn’t it! And I haven’t done Dry January..and that’s also good going. 🙂  Everyone seems to have committed to it. Yet, I can’t strap myself ‘down’ to ‘don’t.’ My will power is amazing. It’s a gift from the Girl Gods. Yet, if I fancy a vino at 7pm after a long day, I’ll have one, be it January, Wednesday or Life.

Dry Jan IS GOOD FOR YOU. So, if you’re tinkering along with *can can* kicks…WELL DONE! Enjoy being healthier. It’s fantastic.

Oh and if you still have you Christmas Tree up..TAKE IT DOWN (I’ve just seen that my chick friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ hasn’t bothered to move her ‘tinsel tree’just yet. She should. Or at least get her buff boyfriend too!

I’ve got so much to tell you. Good news arrived on Thursday. Really great career news. I have all the most wonderful collaborations, that you’ll slowly see *oozing* through Wunna Land, but I have writers block…and it’s CRAZY! I HATE IT!

BLOOM BRAIN, BLOOM!

I still haven’t even told you about my time in London with Top LA Chef Ronnie Woo. (He’s one of my best guy friends, we grew up together in LA and when he flew out to London in December to shimmie in ‘she ma bestie bestie‘ Wunna Land, we literally had the BEST time together…even though his executive suite had a random ‘cage like’ upstairs level.

Ronnie: ‘I don’t see the point to it? There’s not even a view?’

Me: ‘It’s like a bouji cage. I love it. I’m stuck in a bouji cage.’

Ronnie: ‘Let’s go take selfies and get lunch…’

[Passes me a pink champers that he had brought back from Vienna.]

But, I’ll get around to that blog.

If I go back to that evening… when I left his suite around five o clock in the evening, so he could spend some quality time with his beautiful husband Doug…. I remember being stood outside Le Meridien (the hotel,) in Piccadilly, at the busiest time possible, on the other side of the glass revolving doors, as London traffic bustled by and the skies were now navy as they turned our world to night. Stars littered the skies above me. Taxi headlights and horns flashed by and *beeped.*

I was on my phone (what a surprise) and there was a guy, who I guessed was here on business from New Jersey stood to my left..just sort of wandering around and in front of me was a random 20 something, lost, Spanish girl, who had stopped to see if I could call her also ‘lost’ boyfriend, because her phone had run out of charge.

IT’S ANNOYING WHEN YOU HAVE NO CHARGE.

Of course, I helped. I’m helpful. I try to be anyhow. Sometimes, I’m shocking at being helpful. But most of the time, I help. I had to take his number down, add it to my Whatsapp contacts and then message him, before calling him, to tell him where his girlfriend was. Lol.

She’s Spanish, lost in London and needs help. I’m a glamour puss, found in London and helping.

A bit of a ball ache, but nonetheless, I’d hope someone woud help me, if I needed help?

I’d also ordered an Uber..So I waiting for my car to arrive. That’s why I was stood outside. Of course, my Uber driver called..and the Spanish girl, her name was Carmen, thought it was her boyfriend, so answered my phone…

In fact now I remember..the Uber driver said the word, ‘Car’….and we assumed that he said ‘Carmen.’ He had called from some weird number. She spoke to him in Spanish…whilst walking away slightly… on my phone. See, i’m SO TRUSTING!

When she got back, I read a text stating that my Uber had got cancelled because I wasn’t at my pick up point, I got charged for that…and Her boyfriend magically appeared out of nowhere…

YIPPPEEE!

So yes, she was safe and I had to order another Uber back to the station. (During this time, I had my agent and my London friends all calling my phone continuously to try and meet up..)

Me: ‘Erm..Hi…Yeah, I’m kind of a little stressed out right now…I’ll call you back.’

Other end of phone: ‘But when are you back in London?’

Me: NEVER! Lol.’

Agent: ‘Hi, it’s me..I’ve submitted you for this and I need you to go meet…’

Me: ‘I need a gin.’

Then the New Jersey business man to my left, had noticed that I had been somewhat thoughtful, decided that I was ‘kind’..

‘I saw that you were kind..’

…and had also decided that I was definitely the girl of his dreams. He offered to buy me gin at the hotel bar. He plays ice hockey also, or something? It was just moment, upon moment of ‘craziness.’

YET, the best part of that whole day, other than seeing one of my oldest friends from LA, was the fact that there was a moment outside Le Meridien, where I was stood on my own, just looking through my Snapchat story.

I was WEEING MYSELF at how funny Ronnie & I had been all day!

(I actually really can’t tell you many Ronnie stories, as they’re secret secrets and his brand is much ‘cleaner’ than Wunna land. Lol. He was sick. I wasn’t. He’s back in LA now and just cooked for a whole bunch of celebrities, across the pond in Hollywood and on the telly. There you go.)

But yes, the best moment, was the moment, when I stood outside the hotel, immersed in the  busy London life….(Everyone dashed passed me, like they needed to be home immediately) and well I must’ve looked really HAPPY, because I had accidentally been LAUGHING OUT LOUD, at MY OWN Snapchat Story and I must’ve been laughing so hard (YES, i WAS BUY MYSELF AND LOOKED LIKE A LUNATIC..A GLAMOUROUS LUNATIC) because two middle aged gentleman, both business men, both dapper, both gay, both looked really important….walked up to me, like they had known me for years, saw me, stopped their ‘busy’ and said,

‘LET’S HAVE A LOOK….What are you watching?’

And just like that, we were all STOOD around my phone, for a good fifteen minutes, pissing ourselves and watching my Snapchat story.

It was a really good moment and it shows that laughter brings people together. All of us together. It’s contagious. And yeah, I know that sounds cliched, like I make cherry pies in dodgy gingham pinnies and sell them for tuppence, over the magical ‘pot of gold’ rainbow…But i’m not that way, I’m sassy. So, what i’m saying is…I mean it. 😉

Me: ‘It was total Cage Life!!’

Business Men: ‘Hahah….You are the cutest thing ever! We should grab a drink! Who’s he? He’s HOT. How do I know you?’

Moments make memories…

I’m doing alright for Writers block right now!

ANYWAY…

I’m currently sat in my car with a pink laptop on my knee, in a Little mistress Faux Fur, typing this blog out on WORD. I’ve been trying to blog for days! So any opportunity that I get to AT LEAST attempt to ‘chitter…’ I embrace.

It hasn’t worked until right now.

I have going on this week. I’ve been reading about little Saffron Drewitt Barlow, who is celebrating worldwide headlines, due to being the FIRST EVER little lady, to be registered as having TWO FATHERS and NO mother, in Britain…and I LOVE IT!! She’s 18 now and is the luckiest girl in the world.  She’s owning it! She has a wardrobe worth a million pounds, thanks to her Dads…who couldn’t love her and all her brothers and sisters more.

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She gets an allowance of around FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS A MONTH, to spend on anything her heart desires. There’s a dream and she is living it! I’m loving it!

But away from that, what her Fathers Barrie & Tony have achieved is SO IMPORTANT, as they’ve fought their cause, worked hard and now made history! They’re filled with love…I adore them..madly!

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It’s almost like a bouji, modern day fairytale. (There’s a magic to it! A ‘glitter.’)

Surely they adopt me? I’m marvellous! 🙂 Honestly…I am!

Can you even believe that only a few years ago, it was actually  ILLEGAL for adults, who loved one other, to ‘marry’ if they weren’t straight…let alone have a family!

It’s crazy, isn’t it! I love how much more open the world is becoming. I love that people are celebrating love, themselves and their own version of life.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the world your story. I do it every day….(When I don’t have writers block. 😉 ) 

I’m behind them all the way! The family is great! They’re so interesting! And yeah, we should absolutely celebrate a bit of Saffron! I love her! It’s magical!

Okay, i’m bored of being sat in my car now…

So, just a quick note to say THANK YOU for all the love, that i’m receiving on my ‘socials.’

I say it everyday…THANK YOU. If you’re not following my ‘Socials’ and you should be…Here are some of the pics, that you’ve missed…

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It means a great deal…as i’m obviously attempting to build Wunna Land to it’s finest and your ‘love..likes…follows and website clicks’ make a HUGE IMPACT. What am I on about? MAKE ALL the impact! That’s the truth!

A thousand MORE of you ‘liked’ my Facebook Fanpage this week and in the business of blogging, that means a lot! So yes, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my kitten heart. (Glad you’re liking my pics. 😉  You’ve got some good ones tomorrow… Oh and the ‘fitting room’ situation…Is it deliberate? YES! And you, my little ‘winks’ will found out why shortly!

Right, i’m off to deal with my now ‘moderate’ writers block, to ‘food a little‘ with my Mother. The Great Wunna before me.

Hope you don’t start your juice cleanse with a Mimosa like did. Hope you don’t drink too much coffee (which is what my body lives on…) as it makes you do stupid things….faster….

Love you all. Thank you for following my life. I need to get my bloggers flow back.

Kisses,

Chrissie x

 

 

2018, Kittens & Baby Pink Undies

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I sailed into 2018 peacefully, armed with the mighty words, that I accumulated via The Fine God, that is P.Diddy…

‘Too blessed to be stressed.’

I had a wonderful 2017. I don’t have to go through it all, because…well, you all know what happened, I wrote a diary about it almost every day. (Well, I told you the bits that I wanted to tell you. 😉 )

It was a big year of ‘building.’ The kinda year where you have a plan, yet FOR ONCE you actually go about ‘being productive’ with it all. For example…How can I put it?  Last year, I didn’t sit and WATCH the fitness video, whilst eating a packet of crisps. I STOOD UP AND DID THE VIDEO.

Changes were made. Changes that put ‘happiness’ first and because of all that sassy sizzle of hard work…this year….in 2018, I should be rubbing two sticks together and finally making a fire.

There’s been lots of moments where in which *sparks* were lit, yet the fire didn’t burn…because I couldn’t dedicate time to it.

So with ‘timing is everything’ as my cliche. In 2018, i’m just gonna get on with it. That fire will burn.

This is my year.

(And I do mean that in both work and love. People always ask me about my love life…When it comes to love…I very much put my hand on my heart and swear by fate.)

How you all feeling? I’ve watched all your Snapchat & Insta stories and lived your New Year’s Eve with you!

So whether you woke up in a new city, or with a strange human laying next to you, or on a friend.. of a friends sofa… or at home with the kids, on your own..whatever happened? Whether you woke up hungover, sober or immersed in an accidental new chapter…KNOW… that you’re fine.

It’s Monday. It’s cool. You can use January 1st as an excuse to ‘start over.’

During the day, I had a busy New Years Eve, as I was on a train with Ruby & Junior (and my Mum) at 9.12am. I was on Platform Six, at Doncaster train station and headed into Leeds to go do lunch, a ‘Meet and Greet’ and stroke kittens at The Kitty Cafe.

Popular place. I had a WONDERFUL TIME. Really happy to have met you all. (I was late because my Taxi Driver didn’t know how to get there. I hate that, because if I was a taxi driver…I’d KNOW HOW TO DRIVE PLACES.) Fabulous wonderland. That place is spankingly bouji. It’s peaceful, yet busy and I’d say the perfect place to take your children….if they adore kittens.

Ruby & Junior LIVED FOR IT. I couldn’t get them out of the place! I had to pretend that we were buying a kitten, that would magically arrive at our home… by post? JUST TO GET THEM TO LEAVE.

I actually couldn’t believe how amazing the cafe was! You should absolutely go for the experience. However, I was there to ‘meet you’ and ‘greet you’…and that pretty much was my focus. (I love that you can order a Japanese flowering tea there. All the BOUJ!)

Just so you know! There’s actually going to be A GREAT DEAL of opportunities to ‘Meet Me’ and ‘Greet Me’ throughout this year. I’m excited to see you. I love it. It’s my favourite part of the ‘ball.’ A lot of you are asking…So yes, do not fret! The opportunity to say ‘hello’ and tinker in Wunna and will be there.

But anyway, my New Years Eve, was all about family. I had everyone around at my place and after a dance off, a few drinks, a bit of food, mixed in with the art of acting out ‘Little Mix’ videos. (Junior LOVES a shindig. He went bonkers with his dance moves and pout. His soul is every inch Wunna Land. Ruby is sassy, sophisticated, but FUN.)

Junior: ‘Mum, swing that chandelier thing about…No!  Do it really fast, so it makes the room look like a party.’

(Olly Murs ‘Dance With Me’ was on in the background, so loud that you couldn’t hear anyone speak at all. I guzzled Prosecco and forgot to think about my waistline. Oh and DO KNOW, that a Diet Guru did actually contact me and you will SEE which plan I think i’m going to go with….over the next couple weeks. Oh! And everyone keeps messaging me, asking what my New Years resolutions are? I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Lol. Do people still make New Year resolutions? I thought they had been buried with the art of giving Christmas cards?)

Bottom line, I don’t like to restrict myself, simply because my life turns insane at points and I need to be emotionally and physically ‘flexi’ enough to Rumba along with it, without ‘Stop Signs’ and ‘Tut Tut, Shakey Fingers’ telling me to ‘Watch out.’

There was definitely a point last night where I found myself with a left handful of Jelly Babies & a right handful of Bombay Mix.

Oh the glamour!

I ate out of both handfuls..gracefully. Infact, a tiny piece at a time, like I was the Queen.  Then washed it down with prosecco..ungracefully…like I was Captain Jack Sparrow…in a faux fur….Or did I do it like I was Ru Paul? I can’t decide?

Anyway, the family party is going on downstairs. I tinker upstairs to find something. Lords knows what? Maybe my dignity, some help, a cocktail bar, Elvis? Who Knows???

I saunter into my room, slip into my’ comfiest comfies’ and then accidentally fall asleep in my pj’s at around 11.30pm without telling anyone, just before the whole ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR,’ hoo haa. (I do that..When I need to rest, I just disappear…and get comfy. That’s why I always love guys who like to kick back and get comfy, in their comfies.)

Mum: ‘I walked upstairs to find you and you were tucked in bed, with the lights out fast asleep, with a giant bottle of Prosecco by your bedside…even RUBY stayed up!! Haha.’

Woke up this morning feeling,

FRESH AS A DAISY.

So FRESH, I was *breezy.*

So CLEAN, I was *squeaky.*

Tried a whole ‘dazzle’ of Ann Summers numbers on, before noon. Delightful little pieces of ‘cheeky, cheeky.’ I love Ann Summers, I think it’s GREAT. I’ve obviously worked alongside them previously, as I designed a Sex Toy range, with Jacqueline Gold (CEO of the company,) which was filmed and aired on Channel 4. I was ‘fitted’ into all sorts of pieces this morning….Some played well with my body…Some got the ‘thumbs down…Something got the ‘YES!!! THAT’S IT!’ ( I love those moments.)

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Then I had fish and chips. (Yay! Well done Diet Queen.) And because I worked SO HARD during 2017 and because (here we go) I have such an exciting 2018 of ‘work hard’ but with results for you to enjoy…I kinda wanted to just rest today. I’m already in my comfies, sat on my bed blogging, with a wine.

 So January the 1st. 2018…Wunna Land rested. Lol.

What? If my soul needs to rest, it’ll rest and if my soul needs to play…it’ll play.  🙂 🙂

Tomorrow…I’m headed in with a wink…

Welcome to 2018.

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