Last Night I Loved The City…

It was 9pm last night, as I walked through Leeds city centre, on my own, over bits of cobbles, passed closed shop and now quiet busy streets, in the warm evening sunshine. It was still light and the air was humid, yet with a gentle breeze that swirled around couples.

To my left there were uni students in love, laid on private park lawns with wine. To my right were stylish 20 somethings hand in hand with ‘first date’ smiles on their faces, as they tinkered in heels and stubble.

Infront of me were lesbian ‘Hello Kitty’ teens who still had a long way to go in life, yet in that moment we’re so in love.

…and then there was me…

I beamed as I gleefully strutted through the calmness of Leeds city centre, on my own, like the world was my oyster. Last night I loved the city and I felt like it was mine! I properly ‘Carrie Bradshawed’ it and scanned everything around me with a wink and a smile.

Drunks boys whistled as I passed..yet politely. Posh boys ‘well heelllooooed’ me as they double took my strut. Grandma’s stop me to tell me that I was a ‘pretty lady,’ and well last night I felt liberated. There was a skip in my step. Last night, I loved Leeds and it felt like one of the Greatest cities to be in. I’m a lucky girl.

But let’s rewind right…

Four hours before that I was bundling my life manically into my handbag, trying to find my phone charger, doing wee’s with the toilet door open, because my mind was so busy that I completely forgot to shut it. (Business men watched me wee. Lol) Then with a flash and a ‘see ya’ I darted out the door, hair all a mess, glowing from the heat, rushing in heels and with a blink I was in my car *zooming* myself to a train station to get a train that left Platfrom 2 in 11 minutes.


It was boiling, I had to get naked in the car, whilst parked up outside Xscape (lol) to change my outfit. I tottered as fast as my little kitten legs could take me over a footbridge with the sun beaming down and onto Platform 2….and just like that, BOOM, I was on that train and on my way! (No wine in my system at all…which i always find devastating, because if I ever needed a drink, it was in that moment, I need to hire someone that just rushed by my side all the time, with a cocktail in their hand and a straw ready for me to sip in emergencies.)

I’m not gonna tell you anything about my night because I think i’m gonna tell you a better story later. Yet, I will skim it with sassy clues.

I..with what seemed like the entire female population of Leeds was at Manahatta on Merrion Street last night. It was rammed. I had never seen that place so busy in my life. It was so rammed, that before i walked in, I peeked in and I almost turned around (especially because it took me ages to find the bar in the first place) and went home.

But I didn’t. in life, if you ant something, you’ve just got to push through those glamourous glass doors and go for it. So I did.

Every single one of those girls was single and they’d come from all over. BUT there was a handful of men. (The rest had gone to watch football.) In that handful of men, 4 of them were handsome.

Long story short…there was a warm sweaty magic in the air, filled with hopefuls and light, laughter and cocktails.

My lucky stars were shining on me that night….as I was pulled away from the masses to tell my little Wunna Land story to new people. I did this on a chair, on camera and wished I had better hair all the way through it. Lol. It was AMAZING. And it was really great to see so many people that I knew in the masses. I think EVERYBODY was shocked by how many people had bothered turn up.

I guess love does make the world go around?

Some people were being asked to leave, as others were being escorted through special doorways. I was on special doorway route and at one point I was stood next to the most handsome and stylish, loveliest Leeds guy ever. We kinda had to team up by accident, as everyone kept glaring at us….as we were stood on a stairway, above masses and masses of people….

Him: ‘I feel like i’m on show.’

Me: ‘Really? Lol. I feel fine…I can see what you mean though.’

‘Him: ‘I feel like we’re getting EYE FUCKED.

Me: Hahahah! Yeah…a little bit.’

Him: ‘My  work friends are even outside waiting to take the piss out of me. I’ve come straight from Bar & Grill… You’re the best girl here babe…’

We bantered and I smiled because he was such a gent and obviously great. He’s a guy who wants to get ahead in life, do well…and he deserves it. Handsome guy! Didn’t give a shit that his mates were taking the piss out of him. He was doing what was right for him. I liked that. (And his outfit! Lol) In the 20 minutes that we stood on the stairway, we got on really well.

On the whole, I guess, I didn’t really concentrate on the crowd. I didn’t notice the ‘eye fucks.’ I don’t anymore. I’m kinda used to it. I’m immune to it. Lol. But more importantly I was just concentrating on what I was doing. I chatted to the people next to me. I didn’t sweat the small stuff…and I didn’t have a fricking drink. I needed one. It was boiling,.

But yeah, three hours later, I walked through ‘special doors’ where there was just me…

An hour later…I was gleefully strutting through the peaceful evening city centre streets, with my hand bag swinging in my hand, a smile beaming from my soul and en route to catch the next train to Pontefract.

Last night I learnt that finding love matters to everyone. Be you rich, poor, tall, small, happy, sad, successful or nowhere….No matter whether you believe it matters or whether you believe it doesn’t. It matters to all humans.

I also realised that status, ‘show’ and ‘being someone’ matters to everyone also…but it’s only that little glittery handful of people who are accidentally in the right place at the right time, or the ones that really work hard to get themselves infront of the right people, or the folk who just ‘have it’ that get there.

I loved last night because you couldn’t do anything but be yourself. And if I can do anything…I can fucking do that! Lol.

Enjoy the weather!




A Quick Change of Jiggly Plans….

So my weekend’s made a glamourous U Turn and is now completely different. I won’t be headed off to ‘tango’ with the boy until next weekend now. It only changed about an hour and a half ago…due to my own circumstance…Yet being a kitten who is pretty schooled in the art of ‘getting on it with..’ when life throws in a *spanner,* I’m dandy with it all. You can sweat the small stuff, (which isn’t sexy) or you can celebrate the big things that you have to look forward to. I’m certainly on ‘celebration’ mode and certainly excited about what life has in store for me…so Yeah…after ‘chitter chatter,’ rearrangements and just good old honest ‘Wunna Style’ banter…Everything was sorted and my faith in humanity and my trust in ‘swirls’ were completely restored.

Y’know, what’s good about this guy…Is that he reasons things out in his head. He’ll wait, he’ll weigh things up, they’ll benefit everyone and hell make the right choices. He’ll stand by what he believes, but then, with charm immediately knows how to make everything better…

‘I’m a lucky guy…’

‘You make me smile, I’m laughing my head off reading these texts..’

‘You’re not just looks.. you’re actually  hilarious…it’s total banter…’

‘I love that you’re really open..’

‘It’ll be worth the wait…I promise.’ xxx

I mean honestly, I love hearing it all!!

But what I’m realizing about him is that yes…he’s a lot of things… but he’s actually the perfect balance of my eyes. And in my world, my eyes… count. 😉  He’s funny, but he’s sweet and he’s naughty, but he’s expressive. We’re similar like that. I’m loving it. So I’m looking forward to meeting him. PLUS any guy that I can have a conversation with about my entire ‘time of the month,’my actual period, before i’ve ever even met THEM in person..and chat about it with them comfortably, as we try to make sense of it all…is certainly ACE. I can literally say anything, tell him everything and he’ll find it funny. Even if it’s inappropriate. And i’m gonna need that aren’t ! 🙂 He’s sexy. I’m hooked.

So we’ll see what happens NEXT Saturday. I’m a firm believer in the fact that you meet people, when you’re meant to meet people…I wasn’t meant to meet him earlier on in life, which is when we had first chattered. Right now, shortly, our paths are supposed to cross, I guess? Is that how it works?

However, away from that I cannot EVEN TELL YOU how happy I am that it is FINALLY THE WEEKEND! Honestly. I have been sooooooooo busy and have worked sooooo hard this week that my mind could’ve  just exploded. It’s been THAT bundled and THAT full of *So Utterly Much.* But I did it I’ve done it! I’m at the end of the tunnel. I have two utter days off in a row, away from the madness to find peace and calm…and gallons of prosecco.


(Or as ‘Double B’ would say, ‘Jesus and the baby orphans.’ )

When you’re THAT busy, you need those moments! I like to call them ‘peace… cut offs,‘ where you just ‘cut away‘ from the hectic drama’s of life happenings and enjoy the things that you LOVE. It stops you from needing botox, going insane and keeps you beaming.

(OH GOD! Ruby’s just woken up and tottered up to me, with these GIANT rainbow coloured beads around her neck with what SHE thinks are flesh coloured ‘feet.’ They’re from a Gay Pride event and my friend brought them back for me, as an appropriate gift. I’m sure that I hide them in the back of a high kitchen cupboard? Lord knows how she has them??…But yes, those ‘feet’ are decorative…well there’s a Penis, after every 7 beads 🙂 Welcome to Wunna Land.)

Lots of great things are happening to me right now. I have lots of good news to tell you soon.

I have my fingers crossed for most of it, as I don’t know how my life is going to end up…But if you don’t hope for the best…You’ll drown in rummy cocktails. Let’s put it this way, I just KNOW that it’s going to end up being wonderful. 😉

Hope you sail through the weekend with absolute utter happiness….That kind of buzz that beams from your soul and lights up your eyes…


Tonight…I’m beaming…

Thank you for following my life.

Chrissie x

Ps/ What did my chick friends say?

‘Well at least you don’t have to take it up the arse on the first date now…:) ‘



Booty Bum Bursts!

Today was the day when I must have *bent over* without a  kitty care in the world and the ENTIRE BACK SEAM of my dress *RIPPED* open, presenting the *WUNNA BOOTY* to all the land! 🙂

Hurrah! Booties for everyone!

As if i’ve managed to get so fat…Well I like to say ‘Playground’ because I heard it on ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ being used as a term for ‘Being Bootilicious’…But yes, now it’s official… I am absolutely TOO ‘BOOTY’ to wear a pencil dress. You want a Kardashian Bum? You go to Greggs and have a sausage roll and latte EVERY FLIPPING DAY and you’ll own a *booty,* SO BUSTING, that it makes like the ‘Incredible Juicy Hulk’ and glamourously *bursts* out of your pencil dress like it’s Beyonce.

I literally had my bum out all day, because I couldn’t be arsed (excuse my pun) to buy a new dress. I’ve done worse. A bit of bum cheek is fine. 😉 I was infact, the least shocked… out of the entire bunch..and it was MY ASS that was out.

Oh but let me tell you….

What did my ‘ride or die’ glammy chick friends do? Offer me support? Love? Remedies to my problem?


They fucking pointed, laughed out loud, called me a dickhead and showed everybody my freshly ripped *booty peek* whilst snaphatting it!

Me: ‘What? I can’t see anything??’

‘Honestly! Chrissie! The back of your dress is flapped open… like a hospital gown! Hahahahaha!’

‘Is it THAT BAD? Have I got good knickers on?’

‘Yeah, they’re black lace. Hahah!’

I will say that Mel did offer me a moment of…

‘Safety pins? Shall we safety pin or staple you back up? Shit…I don’t have any? Sorry lol.’

Then just to keep things moving, I attempted to make fun of ‘Hot Sarah’ for no real reason really..and she shot it back with a..

‘You can’t make fun of my face when you’re in an ass out dress.’

‘Whatever! Everyone will be doing it tomorrow.’

I was totally like that ‘whatcha m’call her’ chick from ‘Mean Girls’ with the nipple shirt. I ROCKED my ‘ass out‘ pencil dress.

I mean, GOD ‘Webbo‘ and ‘The King of the North’ didn’t seem to mind and I used Webbo’s window as a mirror.

‘I honestly can’t see anything! Can you? Is my bum out?’

They invited such ‘jiggery pokkery’ into their world, with love, Bromantic ‘you’ll not have your Portugal body,‘ hugs and a bottle of Archers in their hands.

Then ‘the new boy’ started singing Ed Sheran songs and telling me that he has a pet bunny….(yes, you heard.) He then went on to explain that he saved his girlfriend from a dodgy life in Hull and dragged her to a dodgy life… just outside of Bradford. Lol.

Me: ‘A bunny? That’s…I’m pretending to be nice. That is actually really weird! LOL.’

All was dandy, all was well and then ‘Feisty Gem’ makes the executive decision to wear white ‘bowling shoes’ with her very dark tights…which caused me to panic a little.

*Panic.Panic.* It’s like acid to the eyes.*

Especially when i’m in my Specsaver Specs. (I’m waiting for my contact lenses to arrive.) Right now I have EXTRA DOUBLE STRENGTH VISION! It’s intense. But, *applause* to her, as  I did laugh at her naughty sassiness today, even though she committed to poor shoe choices.

‘You’re like the naughty rebellious one.’

Then ‘Double B’ piped in with a shake of ‘diva’ and a dazzle of  ferocity, as she was deliciously misheard by Firmonell…

Double B: ‘How rude was that guy! Don’t talk to me like that! GOD! I want to march down there and flick him on his fucking nose.’

Firmonnell: ‘Ewwwwwwwwww! You’re vile.’

Firmonnell thought that Double B had suggested she would *punish* the rude talking male by not ‘flicking‘ his nose, but ‘FUCKING’ his nose. Lol.


As IF the ‘not flicking‘ would EVER be a treat!!! ABSOLUTELY DYING! Being a boy SUCKS. Being a girl is Wunnaful! (‘Wunnaful‘ is a state that surpasses the fine art of something feeling WONDERFUL.)

Then Mel started moderately describing a human, in her natural sassy downgrady but lovey‘ way, to the ‘King of The North,’ who is about to be forced off the Island….

Mel: ‘I mean, I’ve met her… She’s alright, but she’s just hard faced…Y’know, a bit abrupt, tells it how it is…She’s a bit grumpy…WAIT! I’VE JUST DESCRIBED MYSELF!’

King of the North, ‘Chrissie! Bend over again!’

Y’know, today was all about fun. It was bubbled with naughty laughter and was shimmied about in BANTER. You’ve got to have a charming wink of ‘chitter’ in your soul. It’s a weapon I mean, I ADORE a delicious ‘banter trifle,’ where humour kicks in and uncensored wording flies out.  It’s cheeky, it’s naughty. It’s flirty. It’s fun! More than anything it makes life so much more worthwhile. You need those moments in’life,’ as they help keep your spirit alive. Your spirit is that *magic* that radiates from you when you laugh out loud, or your eyes smile, or you surrender into a ‘love swirl.’ It’s your spirit that is attractive to someone like me. I like to feel a chemistry,

(‘Hot Sarah’ …who i now want to name ‘Hustle Barbie’ has just sent me a Snapchat. It’s of her… with her big fluffy cat…and with the ‘teddy leopard ear’ filter! Haha! Love it! Almost as hilarious as ‘Fairytale Blond’ with the  Yorkshire Terrier *plonked* on her head. Lol. Wow! It must be so weird being a blond! 🙂 )

On the whole…

I know some really great people and hopefully i’ll know them forever. Yet if i don’t…i’ll always remember this chapter of my life….

Lady Shizzle: ‘Something tells me that you’re moving onto better times Chrissie… I know it. This is your year…’




Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! (And Ginners.)

‘What are you doing?’

‘Just rummaging through your drawers…’

‘Aww…If only I had any on..’

I looked at the ever stylish, ‘King of the North,’ we *paused* and then we pissed ourselves laughing at how not very funny we are.

‘Please, as IF i’m not in pants. I’ve had babies. If I don’t wear pants, all sorts of shit would fall out of me…’

Then ofcourse ‘Double B’ butts in with a..

‘Like what?’ 🙂

Hahaha! The terrifying thought of what actually might fall out of me when shaken is beyond me. That’s why I avoid bouncy castles at all costs. It’d be weave, boobs and flipping West Hollywood pretty boys from 2013 that would fall out of me, with a few delicious organs…dashed in a sliced of my gooey dignity.

I hope you’ve had a wonderful Valentines day. I’ve had THE SINGLE, MOST WONDERFUL VALENTINES DAY EVER.

This is one of the first times in England that I’ve been single on the day of love and let me tell you…I have no date, I had no plans, I received zero cards or flowers and I am BEAMING. It almost feels as though i’m the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s odd? Right now, I’m emotionally at my strongest. So warm that i’m radiating this weird glitter glow. I’ve never felt like this before.

I happy because this year, on Valentines Day, I feel so utterly proud of myself because I never ‘just settled’ for ‘some guy’ that wasn’t my perfect life buddy, simply to just go on a date. I don’t feel lonely. I feel ‘whole’ and when girls are of that nature they are at their MOST attractive.

So as ‘Fairytale Blond’ made last minute dinner arrangements. (‘I Ugh, I can’t believe I have to make my OWN arrangements.’) ‘Double B’ went to Marks & Sparks to buy her beau (who’s penis looks like Me in my party weave) the ingredients to a romantic home cooked meal. As ‘Hot Sarah’ ( who let me eat her leftover home stew and dumplings) probably dashed away from her desk to celebrate her Valentine Anniversary with her ‘Handsome’ and as ‘Firmonnell’ stayed in and did love with her husband ‘Big D..’ (Firmonnell’s all bouji now, as i’ve noticed that she’s embracing her inner glam and wearing the cutest little pinny dresses…Probably because she always has worms and ‘fishy bits’ in the blog…. Hahaha!! I’ve accidentally got it in again, haven’t I!?! Lol)

Anyway, tonight, I internally *beamed* because as I flung on my little faux fur to keep my kitten face warm and as I tottered to my car, under the glitzy night stars, I celebrated the fact that, I was for ONCE utterly single on Valentines Day and weirdly the happiest chick in all the land. No drama, no stress, no plans, no nothing…

I walked down an alley way, with a smile on my face, like the entire world was my oyster. My mum even Facebooked me at that point with a, ‘Are you doing anything tonight?‘ Then when I responded with a ‘no’ and a smiley face she couldn’t even believe her little Burmese eyes. 🙂

Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in love, the real kind that gets you in a swirl, an uncontrollable happy swirl of magic. And I know that I’ll get bowled over by his spirit when I meet him. Yet, i feel great for NOT being tied down to someone that isn’t quite right for me. That alone makes me  happy. It makes me feel free. I’m not in a situation where i’m having to compromise what i stand for or believe in.

‘London Business Man’ sent me a Whatsapp message of the Voice Note variety that went a bit like this…

‘I have a lot of love for you, but i’m just hearing excuses right now, excuses excuses, I know you’re busy… I get it… I get it.. I get it. But make a little time for ME and I’ll make a LOT of time FOR YOU….. I honestly don’t know what that means, but it sounded good.’ 


I just don’t seem to have time to schedule ‘London Business Man’ into my life….until next month, but just for a catch up…and even though we have a brief past of fun…I haven’t really seen him in over half a year. He’s the one that withdrew his offer of love. We’re good friends, yet that’s only because I’m cool and not nutty, as technically he did choose other chicks over me…every time. Yet, I’m just not bothered, as I think he’s a great friend, and I think he’s a wonderful human, yet I understand men, people, I understand ‘times’ and how he may feel now, that i’m doing well…And yes, he’s not on my priority list of ‘Must Dates’ lol…

But like I said in my last blog, before I deleted it…(That’s the ace thing about lifestyle blogging, you can go back and edit shit out, like it never even happened…:) )

It’s hard once you’ve maybe ballsed something up a bit and you then try to get back in the game. As the second time around, depending on how hard you’ve ballsed up, you almost face a mountain. If you just made a small yet decent rockstar decision to begin with, it would’ve been a a walk in the park. And I don’t say that to preachy. I say it because I have been on BOTH SIDES of that coin throughout life.

But what I do like about him is that he doesn’t quit trying….he’s not scared to ask me out and do it properly Most guys are. I don’t like scaredy cats. What I don’t feel for him right ‘magic.’

It’s that’s chemistry and magic that I look for.

I did do a year ago…I felt so much magic that I could’ve exploded…but that was a year ago…Right now, and when i’m dancing in my finest emotional situation, I see him as just my buddy. A guy friend i’d just do cocktails with to catch up and YOU ALL HATE BEING in ‘friend zone,’ but you kinda put yourself there. 🙂

I haven’t even had sex since last year. So, it’s not like i’m making foolish decisions. I’m making the right decisions for me. FOR once. (Oh wait? Was it last year? It was ‘Eton Mess’…Yes…last year, in maybe like November? Ages ago now. AND I’M LOVING IT. I am little Cougar, Born again Virgin Chrissie Wunna.

But no matter what you did this evening, I hope you felt adored and more importantly ‘whole.’

I got given a decent and loving pep talk by a lady who’s in her sixties this morning and it kinda made me glow and feel strong. I’ve been losing my swag a little bit over the last week. Yet this morning sorted me right out.

Oh? I’ve just got a message from ‘Take Me Out Nick?’

‘Pop over tomorrow when you’re free, so I can make you a brew..’

The other day we were imagining what our lives would be like if we dated ginger people? Lol.

He imagined himself in Valley Gardens (which is a dodgy park in Pontefract) with some ghetto blaster, in the sun and a few beers with his imaginary ginner bird.

‘Where are you? The Maldives?’

‘Yeah, I’m bikini sunbathing with cocktails in The Maldives and he’s moaning because he’s having to sit in the shade because he’ll burn to death in the blistering heat. So I’ll just have to lay here, ignore him and shout him over if I need anything during the holiday…’

HAHAHA!  Then we finished out coffees and got on with life…

Everything feels magical in Wunna Land.

Happy Valentines Day!







Dates, Mates & Hippie Fucks

Happy Sunday morning! I’ve been up since the crack of dawn rushing around trying to fit everything into the correct life slots. I had a wonderful family day yesterday with the babies,which was filled with treats. But today, I have A LOT of work to get through, my fingers crossed and ‘The Mighty’s’ Baby Shower to shimmie to.

And just like that, when i’ve set my mind on getting through it all with a hair toss and a wiggle. AND when i’m sort of excited to have that unsettled ‘pending’ work part of my brain opened and ready to conquer…in jollies a text from Keiran, (Junior’s Dad,)

‘I’m not going to be able to come get Junior as I’m having to be in London all day at the last minute…but i’m gonna try and get back…’

Hurrah! Lol. *Schedule Changes!*

So, I have a green tea latte by my side, I’ve just gracefully nibbled a smoked salmon/spinach and cream cheese, wheat bagel..(I’m at Starbucks, Doncaster by the way) and I’m blogging. Quickly.

I have a huge tumble of interview questions to get through and they’re important questions, not the usual *Wunna Winky * ones, so I HAVE to make sure that I deliver them appropriately…and they’re for a feature that I’m doing for a magazine. (I can’t tell you about it yet. But I have the questions next to me and they’re so good that they’re intimidating.)

I recently did my Celeb ‘Working Mum’s in Business’ interview..That came out at the end of Jan and it went  really well, as I gained a great deal of feedback from it and as a business THEY also had new interest *peeking into* their space. I like that! 🙂

I also have my feature in House of Solo magazine swinging out next week! It’s all very high fashion…and i’m naked in it…:) and I’m representing all things…Well, i’ll be doing a blog on it when it comes out and I have one on my lap, so you’ll know all about it. I’m excited about it all!

Then there’s a quick event this Tuesday that I’ve promised that I will pop up at, I’ve pushed to get ‘the cover’ of another editorial and I have the interview questions by my side for a different feature that is again REALLY exciting for me. They are the questions that I don’t want to balls up, as it’s an opportunity to inspire. That’s my week from now, pretty much booked up…as Saturday I’m scheduled out also.

I’ve just looked to my left and there’s this beautiful, intellectual looking couple. Couple? I don’t know if they’re a couple or just friends, but I’m obsessed with them, so i’ve made them a couple in my head because they’re sat in the corner of Starbucks, with their eyes smiling at each other, with shy *flirts* all a glow…and they’re playing chess. Aww! Mental stimulation. Couldn’t be sexier! Love them. The girl half of the pair, just looked above her geek chic glasses and smiled at me. I hope my green tea latte hasn’t turned my teeth green? And I hope she doesn’t mind that I’m obviously glaring at her with my over done eyeshadow, big hair and quite ‘not very subtly‘ writing about her. Hahaha.

To my right are hippies. They’re a bit weird and not adoring my shoe game, so i’m not feeling them. But I do like the really old Australian *sweary* woman amongst them. Lol. She’s said the word ‘FUCKING’ almost 92 times in a 8 minutes. I’m impressed. Totally goes with her hippie rainbow jacket.

I can’t look behind me because i need a massage and i’ve done something to my neck, so it kills. How the ‘hippie FUCK’ 🙂 am I going to be a cougar in training, if I can’t even look around to see what’s behind me, without cricking my neck. Toy boy’s aren’t gonna dig that! And people do ask me about my love life always…YES, I’m single. But no, i’m not ageist. You could be 20 something or 40 something. If your spirit plays well with mine, you’re in. Lol.

I will say that out of all the.. on paper.. ‘age appropriate’ gents that I dated last year…Wait? Oh yeah, it was last year….And i’m talking men in their mid thirties….All with great jobs. All with great manner. All with rubbish luck with women…I did notice that because they had experienced such a shitty time with chicks the last time they dated and break ups had sort of come up and *surprised* them…they were a little more jaded, a little more fearful and a little more ‘I’ll do me now,’ than the guys that I had dated the year before that , who were in their mid twenties.

Those guys still had a ‘passion’ in their eyes and a warmth in their soul. There wasn’t anything lonely about them and they weren’t so selfish or terrified enough to ‘try.’ That, I’ve decided is sexy…so I’m totally going to be a Cougar…Yet hopefully get 24 massages by then, so I can at least turn my head around without breaking my back. (I’m never going to be able to ‘reverse cowgirl’ it.)

Yet the beautiful thing about my 2016 story of Eton Mess, London Business Man and The PE teacher from Malta. (He sent me more *kissy face* emoji’s last night. I then sent him a brief reply reading, ‘Hope you’re well,’ to make sure he knew that I was listening, because i’m not rude...and….. he didn’t reply. Hahaha!

‘London Business man,’ well he’s now just bought himself a new Jag, as he posted it on Instagram a day ago and then ‘liked’ one of my pictures. We get on really well as friends now, because we’re similar in some aspects. Yet when it comes to love, he’s more needy than I am. Yet, that’s because my mind is still fresh and going, because I not only have so much more to achieve in my life and I feel like i’ve already achieved A LOT, but right now I’m in an exciting time where in which I’m actually doing it and doing it well! *EEeek!!!* London Business Man is a man who would want me to put him first. I feel like if we ever dated, now that i’m quite busy and on the elevator up…He would constantly try to make me jump through hoops to make me prove that I care. (Like KEIRAN. Note: They are both Aries boys.) If you are a Sex in the City fan…and i’m currently being hailed as the ‘U.K’s Carrie Bradshaw’ he is the equivalent to ‘Big’ in Wunnaland.

And ‘Eton Mess’….One of those really great souls, who has been through some unfortunate times in life, yet regardless he’s happy, so smart and so funny…and no matter what, he always stays on the ‘sunny side of the street.’ You’ll never truly know what this guy is thinking and nothing harsh ever happened between us, yet we don’t really talk now. Our life paths crossed the whole entire way in opposite directions, cutting communication. However, I know that he’s more than happy, which makes me smile…because he deserves peace…

Right now, he’s away doing this…

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But that was all LAST YEAR and I always say that people talk about their ‘yesteryear’ when they don’t have anything going on in their ‘PRESENT,’ in a particular area that they’re rambling on about.

And that’s SO TRUE. As this year there have been zero boys, zero dates and lots of work. I’m loving it. I’m just one of those emotionally ‘happy when i’m single’ chicks and until I bump into the RIGHT guy who I CAN’T HELP but fall for, that’s how i’ll stay. However this single time has been fruitful, as it’s made me sexier. I’m sexier now because when I do bump into my Mr.Right, i’ve spent so much time being comfortable as Little Miss Independent, getting to know myself better and finding my ‘happy place’ that i’m emotionally ready for him…I’m not ‘half full,’ lets say.

I will also say, that I adore my chick friends madly right now.

So obviously my last blog was all about them and when you’re a glamour puss, a single one, you NEED your chick friends. They’re your soldiers, your help, your saviour through it all, alongside gossip and wine. (I’m mean they’re all messaging me now, because we’re all meant to be headed to ‘The Mighty’s’ Baby Shower, but I’m stuck in Doncaster, waiting for Baby Daddies and all sorts. I’ve just seen the word ‘wine’ in the Whatsapp Group appear, so I might NEED to read it all.

Anyway, you’d think they’d love being in the blog, now that’s it’s all up in lights with readers galore….(and they do really.) But oh GOD! These were some of the messages I received from them, once I hit ‘publish.‘ 🙂

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The other message was a *middle finger* emoji! Lol. There needs to be a Glamour Puss WUNNA emoji, where it’s just my little bitchy Oriental face, smiling and pouting at you, with a middle finger up.

Anyway…I love them! 🙂

Yet, saying ‘THEM’ it was just ‘Firmonnell’ who got terrified, incase I told everyone she may of had worms in her ever so glamourous booty. 🙂 HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I mean look at ‘Double B,’ she loves it. She’ll straight up come in with a ‘but his penis looks like you with your party weave on Chrissie, so I can’t give him a…’

Right, I need to go sort myself out. Looks like Keiran won’t be on a train back soon…

Interview questions with my toddler on my lap it seems is a coming….



Worms, Love & Coffee

‘Well i’m gonna have to take it incase I have worms…’ said Firmonnell to a crowd of morning girl besties, as we stood by her for morning coffees, as we waited for the kettle to boil.

‘Fairytale Blond’ was washing coffee cups at the sink, I had already come prepared with a coffee in hand and pencil dress, as I lent on the side, in my specs.

‘Why is there people SKIPPING on the front of the worms box? What’s that got to do with curing worms?’ Said Double B, as she lifted up the box and placed it back down by a microwave, before delivering the news that ‘sex was had’ the evening before and her partner was so excited, that he didn’t even know how to contain himself, as it hadn’t happened in SO long. Lol.

‘It lasted a good……one minute. Then I went to sleep.’ 

Hahaha! I *heart* ‘Double B.’

Boys are always hilarious when they haven’t had sex in ages. I mean, gosh there have been times when i’ve found myself in compromising ‘sexy’ positions ( the last time being in a penthouse months ago in Manchester) and the guy has been all ‘noooo, noooo, I don’t want to cum yet. Wait! Nooo.’ Dying with laughter! That was the evening that ‘Double B’ had.)

‘Ah! Well that’s it then. That’s my entire blog, done before 9am,’ I laughed out loud, whilst sipping coffee.

‘Aww, don’t put about my worms in it, cos I don’t have worms, I’m just having to take this as a precaution….’said Firmonell. She said it, as she poured a shot of worm medicine, moaned that it was a ‘tenner each time’ and then smiled with very mild glee because it was ‘banana flavoured.’


As if,‘ said Fairytale Blond. ‘Last time, I had apparently had flipping Gonorrhea in the blog, so you’ll definitely get in with worms!!!!’ 

Then as all coffees were poured and as we stood three giant floors up, looking over the whole town, from our glass windowed, walled castle of an office…we paused, pissed ourselves laughing and then just like that, strutted out the door and got to work.

Today was one of those GREAT DAYS! Everything was great today. It was just one of those ‘everything felt right and went right’ days of hustle. We worked it. We owned it! We smashed it! But at the same time, we had the BEST time. It was hilarious! It was just one of those days where nothing was muddled, everything slotted into place, we were totally in control and we got our ‘game’ on…as chicks, doing business.

(Okay, i’ve just poured a gin and tonic, so lets do this.)

Today was one of those days where I randomly achieved because as all the office bustle was going on…my phone kept *pinging* at me with good news, great news, yes, yes, fab news. Everything was so great, that it kinda made me panic. I remember turning to Firmonnell when no one was around or listening and just saying,

‘Okay, I’m feeling nervous..’


‘Well all this stuff is happening…(and I explained the stuff to her)…and it’s all SO good that I can’t even believe that it’s happening to me right now. It’s too many good things, all at one time and good things don’t happen to me like that! I mean if I marry, I end up divorced. If I have a baby, I end up being a single mum. If I have a work success…something always goes wrong…’

‘No…you need to do it and go with it, as it’s not often that you, or anyone gets opportunities like the ones your getting right now. You need to strike when the irons HOT, as they won’t come around again. SO go with it. This is YOUR time and it hasn’t JUST happened, you’ve WORKED for it, you’ve made it happen and you’ve set it all up to happen..If you don’t do it now, you won’t get the chance to do it again..’

And in that moment, even though I didn’t say much, I smiled internally, because she directly made me feel like I could conquer anything, like I was the luckiest girl alive.

Then I looked down at my phone, as another email came in regarding a work opportunity. So I quietly sauntered outside, before I grabbed a salad and took a very exciting phone call. That made me then, have to MAKE a phone call.

Today was a great day! We were on it, organised and let me tell you, sticking to your strengths… works.

(Awww, the Maltese PE teacher, who was on ‘Last Man Standing’ has sent me a messenger *kissy face* emoji. Lol. He’s sweet. But other guy that chose a different chick over me. 🙂 Tut. Tut. Tut  🙂 )

‘Do know that these guys aren’t choosing other chicks because you’re hideous. It’s actually the opposite. You’re intimating and almost too good to be true. It scares us’ said my guy friend on my *speaker* drive home.

‘Yeah but, i’m not bothered. My Mr.Right won’t be terrified of me at all. I’ll be his perfect girl and he’ll be brave enough to go for it. I don’t feel bad, I feel confident.’

And I really do mean that! I’m feeling on top of the world and radiating a *magic* right now that it almost irrepressible. I’m filled with a positive glow that is contagious. I’m having a great time during this chapter and i’m feeling really grateful.

So much is happening…and it’s a big change, but a worth it change.

Yes, there are times when I feel nervous about everything and there are times when I worry. But i’m emotionally schooled enough to just get on with it and do it merrily with faith. I literally have the heart of a lion and just believe that if you work hard and put something great out there, you’ll receive great things in return.

Anyway, i’m going to go and enjoy a gin and the weekend.

I have a family day tomorrow and an interview to conquer.

I love you all.

Thank you for following my life.

ps/ Totally weeing myself at the fact that every time I received a call today, I ended up getting this weird fit of the giggles, as I answered, yet for some reason, I didn’t go with it and instead tried to make like I was fine and normal…All I kept saying was…’I’m sorry I just have a cough.’

Why am I a tool?
















Girls in Business, Fun & Mr.Rights….


Just one of those good old, fun days, where in which you work so hard, yet play hard with it, that laughter, sass and good times simply fill the air like magic.

Today was magic!

And like i’ve always said, we kinda have to hold on to those moments of happiness, because as humans they mean so much to us. It’s those euphoric moments of ‘life is great’ that play over like a happy, slow motion, glitter flurry, that we very rarely get to experience in our lives. Those moments are like gold dust that slips through your fingers. You have to remember to open your arms and embrace the good times in work, life, love and family….whenever you experience ‘magic.’

…Then i walked into a little corner room filled with happy people, sat on cushioned window sills and comfy seats that didn’t swivel. As I did, ‘Styley B’who looked like a ‘Ken Doll’ had lifted up a chair, that was about to hit a skirting board *boingy* thing.  The leg of the chair grazed it and as I tottered in, like a Glamour Puss Extraordinaire, the *boingy* thing had been struck, making it sound like I had let off the BIGGEST, most SATISFYING *FART* in the entire Universe, on entry. Hahahah! WHAT IS LIFE! THIS IS WHY I’M SINGLE!

Everyone just pissed themselves laughing and I stood there looking a *happy* sort of puzzled and moderately concerned because I didn’t actually know whether that *sound* had come out of Me or not??? HAHAHA.

If it did, I was going to style it out! 🙂

And this was AFTER I had been asked about having my children and the ‘Paradigm’ of it all??? I didn’t know what to say and my mouth just opened as words fell out… BUT THESE WORDS….

‘Well I don’t really know?? They weren’t really planned. They kinda just happened in hotel rooms after vodka. 🙂 🙂 But now i have them…Yeah….It’s great, I couldn’t imagine my life without them!’ LOL.


‘Fairytale Blond’ did a jaw dropping giggle and comforted me through the pain as I sat next to her on a black and white striped, window sill cushion.

Then ‘Hot Sarah’ who once dreamt that she gave birth to a roast chicken, talked to me about a Chinese New year calendar, that I wanted her to deliver to me via the fine art of contemporary dance OR in Chinese.

‘You’re not even Chinese Chrissie!’

‘Noooooo. No words. Let your body do the talking!’ Lol.

‘Hot Sarah’ has decided that for her ‘New Year, New Her’ she’s going to dye her hair brown and wear pretend glasses, so she looks older and smarter. Haha. This is because someone said she looked 19 when she’s in her late twenties. I think?

As she said this, to my left I heard ‘Double B’ (My other chick comrade) saying,


HAHAHAHA….I Literally wet myself laughing. WHAT IS THIS TEAM????? How do I even know these people! ?! They’re AWESOME! It’s nuts wrapped in bonkers. I spend over 300 days of my year with them! No wonder i’m a tool. They’ve rubbed off on me.

‘Does anyone have a pen…?’


‘Does anyone have pain killers?’


You’d THINK headed into important meetings WE’D HAVE PENS.

‘Double B’ had a FUCKING SATSUMA. 🙂

‘If i eat this, will you peel it for me Chrissie?’ 

‘You’re 21 years old! You can peel you’re OWN fucking Satsuma!’

‘I’ve just never learnt how!’


All jokes aside…WE SMASHED TODAY. 🙂 So busy! So much fun! Loads of hard work! Totally NAILED IT!

When girls do business WELL…We are SO SEXY! 🙂

You know, I always think that you really need a good group of friends that you seem to accidentally spend a lot of of your time with, due to work. They keep the passion in you alive. It’s that mixture of energies, that playfully tinker alongside each other, that helps your own personality grow.

In fact it kinda makes you a better girlfriend or boyfriend. It makes dating and your people skills MUCH easier when you have a good group of friends because you firstly learn how to meander with & around different personalities and secondly you have support.

I mean we all work hard together, we go through ups, downs, boyfriends, girlfriends, Snapchat filters and all sorts. 🙂 But we tell each other everything. But, I reckon the people who have a decent bundle of work buddies, who they spend a lot of time with….make better partners and better ‘other halves.’

We understand what ‘busy’ is. We’re too busy to be naggy and during our free time, we know how to unwind and have a GREAT TIME with whoever we’ve chosen to date!

Today on Twitter I was asked if I ‘had time to fall in love?’

I don’t want you to think that i’m some cold hearted ‘no love for me, too busy‘ chick. I’m not that at all. I’m warm. I’m bubbly. I love, love and like I said on Twitter, I DO HAVE TIME to fall in love and I also do hope to fall in love….You need love to iron out the stressy crinkles you go through with work. You need that one person you trust and team up with. That person you build an empire with. I completely believe that!

And YES, i’m going solo right now, but because I don’t want to ‘just settle…’ I’ve dated a lot of people who i’ve ‘just settled’ with…and it just wasn’t right, as we didn’t have the same passion for work, life or each other….really. We didn’t see the world through the same eyes, or even enjoy the same things.

When a man has found the right partner, he feels on top of the world, like he can conquer anything. He gains the heart of a lion. You can even see it in him!  When a women achieves and feels cherished, she owns this glow of utter power and love, with a warmth and strength that can rule the entire world. You can feel it when she’s near you.

That’s what i’m waiting for….

And like i’ve said EVERY SINGLE DAY, THIS YEAR, SO FAR….

I’m not the slightest bit worried..

He’ll find me. 😉 He’s close…






Bukaki, Life & Dating


‘A what?’ 


This is how my day began!

Infact, it’s probably why I’m single, as I am totally not up with all the porn lingo that the young 20 somethings are sizzling out with!?!

Did YOU know what ‘Bukaki’ was? Or am I just frigid? (Getting a flashback of when Andrew Thomas dumped me in Chemistry, in the middle of a private boarding school for being frigid via the fine art of a scrunched up ‘pass around the class’ note. Lol.)

Anyway, there’s me, thinking I was some Hollywood, ageing sex symbol, who was British Besties with Paris Hilton for the telly,  some Goddess of a chick who was dashed in all kinds of ‘Ooh laa!’ (Totally waited in a Greggs queue, in Pontefract, for a sausage roll at 8.32am this morning, like my life depended on it. Yes. That’s how glamourous I got! You better call Ronaldo and tell him you’ve found him a wife.)

BUT I had NO CLUE what ‘Bukaki’ was and this is how it was explained to me…

‘It’s when a bunch of boys stand around a girl and all *&*!$£”* off around her until one of them cums. The first one to cum IN HER FACE and hit the target WINS!’ 

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE……!!!!! Lol. That’s how 21 year old ‘Double B’ explained it to me.

I wasn’t the only chick to be alarmed, as ‘Fairytale Blond’ frowned and pretended her beautiful ears did not hear such evil. Haha. The others either *winced* or swore a little. I began to look puzzled, as I do enjoy knowledge and do also try to be understanding when it comes to matters of ‘play…’ Yet ‘Firmmonell’ turned around, looked her female soldiers in the eye and said…

‘What? It’s just a game!’

JUST A FUCKING GAME!  Hahaha! This isn’t a round of ‘Guess Who’…well maybe? 🙂 What happened to romance??? (She has a ‘Sex Step.’)

I mean, it must be weird being knelt there on your knees, in the middle of someones living room, with an odd male semi circle of knobbly knees surrounding you…as you kinda wait around until ‘SPLAT’ you’re a target! Hahaha. Who does that???? HAHAHAHAHA.

AND to make it worse it ORIGINATES from the Orient! (My own KIND!) I mean, yes it was meant as some form of torture and punishment, but porn has turned it into some kind of Wednesday night ‘sex game.’ This is like the conversation I had with Lisa Appleton in a giant birdcage at Menagerie last month…’PORN RUINS EVERYTHING.’ It’s NOT real. No chick I know, would enjoy ‘playing’ Bukaki’ after tea. Lol. Play Poker! I mean yeah, there’s still a lot of sitting around for ages, but at least you won’t have to make deliberate ‘ooh ‘ faces on demand and pretend that you’re having a GREAT TIME! Hahaha! (I shouldn’t find this funny, it’s disgraceful. 🙂 )

Up until this point, I had thought my Facebook inbox was terrifying. Yet, Bukaki has made it look ‘Disney.’

In fact, talking about my inbox, i’m giving it a bad wrap because it has actually completely cleaned it’s merry act up. Bizarrely and quite fortunately it has *bloomed* and gone from being a series of men, attempting to *woo* me via genitalia, before they even thought to just say ‘Hi,’ TO NOW being an inbox filled with messages from absolute gentlemen who simply want to politely compliment me. It’s lovely! My inbox has grown up and therefore that must mean I have! I feel quite proud! Lol. *You can applaud here.*

But yes, other than that, I’ve had a busy day! We as a nation have officially been *drop kicked* back to reality and even though I’ve MISSED WORK like crazy, it seems that after you’ve had a bit of a break, bucket loads of Prosecco and all this quality time with your loved ones, it’s really hard to adjust back to ‘work mode,’ isn’t it! Lol. However, it’s only difficult initially, as after Day 1…you kinda get over yourself and smash it. Humps don’t last forever!

I will say that getting loads of messages right now from people congratulating me in regards to the UK Blog Awards (there’s more to come on that in the next blog…YES…I made the final 🙂 🙂 🙂 ) and I’m also getting asked about my love life….A LOT!

I don’t remember saying that I was going to go on more dates this year? But GOSH give me some time, we’re only on DAY 3 of 2017. Hahaha! You all got so excited with the Wunna Land swirl of break ups, make ups, Spanish Doctors, London Business Men, Sexy PE Teachers and ‘Eton Messes’ of last year, that you’re twiddling your thumbs and trying to frisbee me into Cupid. I’m EXHAUSTED! And now I think about it all and reflect, I kinda sold myself a bit short at times, during last year with men. I’m quite loving and giving when it comes to the ‘love bug.’ I’m thoughtful. I’m fun, but i’m gentle. I was NEVER in LOVE last year by any means and never in a relationship. But i do quite happily fall in love with people all the time. I’m not emotionally restricted.

Yeah, the guys I met last year we’re great (as friends) yet if i’m being honest, they didn’t really respect or treat me as well as they maybe could’ve of. Of course and as always a couple of those gents are now trying to ask me out again. However, now that i’ve sat back and reflected upon it all (and now that i’m doing well and work is going great 😉 ) I kinda just see them as distant mates.

However, don’t get it twisted…Cupid and I are NOT MATES! His aim is shit. I’m a Glamour puss. I can most certainly fire a flirty, glitter arrow at a ‘Handsome’ better than some dude in a nappy. I’m like a stubborn SHOT PUT in the game of love. You TRY and throw me anywhere against my will….and you’ll put your own back out.

Right now my focus is on career…..and I think i’d kinda like to date a guy who’s focus is on his career also. I want to date someone who’s my best friend, someone I’m madly in love with, yet someone who I can ’empire build’ with. Someone i’m going in the same direction as. To me…that’s the sexiest thing EVER and surely it’s not too much to ask? I just wish that guys of that manner weren’t too shy to approach me, as sometimes they can be really bold in the career department and somewhat less brave when it comes to ‘The Ladies’ and trying to form actual loving relationships.

However, for the time being, i’m just gonna concentrate on work because i’m ever so happy with everything right now. I’m feeling lucky I’ve had this AMAZING start to the year…and like I always say to you…I’m not worried….He’ll find me.