Kittens, Love Island & A Sexy Bit Of Adam Collard!

 

Morning! Morning! Happy Tuesday! God! Last night, at around 10pm, Ruby came into my room. She couldn’t sleep because she was too hot. I opened the window and she heard tiny ‘meowing.’ Then she screamed..

‘IT’S ROCCO..’

Remember we lost our kitten, on that really shocking Friday I had. It was filled with utter disaster..and I thought it would never end. Lol.

We both rush downstairs…Yet i have nothing on expect a yellow bra and knickers…Ruby is just in pants. We haven’t even thought to grab clothes or shoes, during our dash, because we wanted ‘Rocco’ so madly. Clothes didn’t feel like a priority.

At 10.10pm, last night, we ran outside, in the dark, half naked, in no shoes and finally got our kitten Rocco. back home, where he belongs. I wouldn’t have even cared if anyone saw me. My heart was just filled with a happy relief. Be it Kittens, friends or men…They always come back to Wunna Land. 😉

It was the most amazing experience. It filled us with utter joy. Rocco, is back in Wunna Land, and he is as happy as can be! He’s back to living it up!

Hurrah! Naked kitten saving all the way. It’s like being James Bond, but Asian, barefooted and in the nude. 

Away from that, i’ve been resting and working. I have some really great auditions coming up and some really great news. OK Magazine said that I’m tipped for the new series of ‘Celebs Go Dating’ because I said, I loved the show and was back on your  Reality TV Screens shortly.. They also stated that I was ‘coy’ about whether I would be finding love on the reality show. I enjoy being called ‘coy’ simply because i’ve been called a lot WORSE.

But I’m not gonna life. I do fancy a bit of ‘Celebs Go Dating.’ Yet, that isn’t the show that I’m on.

I’ve managed to meet up with KatyP for drinks. She’s lost her bank card and needs booze running through her system. I don’t know what we were talking about the other day, but something to do with how I hate horror movies and sausage dogs. (I never watch horror movies. I can’t stand feeling creeped out.) Weirdly, Julie & Golfer Jonny said that they watched some horror movie called ‘Carrie?’ Something like that anyway?

I was only half listening because Katy P and I were evil cackling about something far more entertaining…(like sex for money, who we’d like to have sex with once… and hobbit feet) but all that happened in the movie was some teenage girl called ‘Carrie’ goes in the shower, get’s her period, people start chucking tampons at her and shouting ‘plug it in?’ Eh? Then she kills everyone….

That’s not a horror movie. That’s just normal real life for a teen. She was just hormonal. Give the girl a break.

I’ve got a couple shoots to be doing and i’m so excited about the new bars and hotels that I am soon to be influencing. I’m also back in Sheffield towards to the end of the month, to revisit Kuckoo. (One of my favourite spots.) I’m actually doing, London, Leeds, Sheffield, York, Manchester, Nottingham, Spain & Newcastle. (Yet this time ‘on purpose’ and not because i just got off at the wrong stop.)

I’m feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

A couple days ago, I was so lost. But just like that, I’m *popped* right back into action and it’s because I love what I do. I love working. I can’t be left to ‘rest’ unless my rest time is filled with love. I want to make something a bit special of myself…and there’s no shame in that. I know what i’m doing. 😉 (Yeah Baby!)

So watch me nooow!

Oh! I’ve been invited to ‘Da Marino’ in New York, to dine. I can’t remember if I told you that or not? But I have now.  It’s owned by the lovely Chris Noth, who plays ‘Big’ in ‘Sex and the City.’ They figured it was a good match, since a magazine did the ‘UK’s Carrie Bradshaw’ thing. (I know! What is my life!) And yes, again, i’m about to be back on your tv screens. I actually read an email this morning, confirming everything…and i’ve had to wait a really LOOOOOOOOONG time, for it to even almost air.

However, I’m a patient person. I’ve learnt lots in my time and you get what you’re meant to get, when you’re meant to get it. You don’t get what’s not for you. Everything happens at the right time. So I don’t rush anything, when it comes to work. When it comes to love, I’m open, but guarded. I wear my heart on my sleeve, yet these days control how I feel. But yes, be patient, in both love and work.

I mean in love, you can meet someone who’s perfect and if it’s not the right time, you won’t ‘magnet fix.

Yet, you shouldn’t be upset by that, simply because it’s not a bad thing.  Later down the road, be it weeks, months or years….the timing of it all could be much better…Life just needed you to meet earlier than ready…and they’ll always be a reason for that. That reason, you’ll find out.

I completely believe in that. You don’t meet anyone meaningful by accident.

Away from that, OH MY LORD, how HOT is flipping ADAM COLLARD! Jeepers! Peepers! That’s 109 Hail Mary’s from me. I’ll do time in Hell for him. I’m like GOSH! He’s the most attractive man my eyes have ever witnessed on the telly box, in AGES. If there’s a team. I’m on HIS!

HAHAHA! (Why am I such a perv?)

I mean, what girl wouldn’t want to wake up to a bit of Adam every morning! How is he that delicious!?! He’s like a chiseled piece of pie, that I just need to devour.

Even before Love Island aired last night, he was already my favourite. I tweeted it out because i’m waay ahead of my own loin game. Lol. But when he walked onto my TV Screen, he was UNREAL. Hotter than his Promo pictures! And that was it! I was sprung. I’m now hooked. Great casting! I’ll be addicted to Love Island for the rest of the Summer..

From the moment he sauntered into that Villa…That was it! I’m in absolute lust. (Which I always mistake for love. 😉 )

He’s 22 and looks like a grown ass man! What a GIFT!

Thank you Jesus!

But yes, I didn’t want to say it, but i’m delighted with Love Island. I’m already loving it, every little inch of it. I’m skipping the dull bits, I’m loving a bit of Dani Dyer & Jack. I actually like the Doctor. I come from a family of doctors, so I always have a soft spot for one. (Apart the Spanish one that I once dated who tried to *hump* me.) The funny thing is, that as soon as the girls find out he’s a Doctor, all of ‘magical’ sudden, he’ll seem more attractive. *Rolls Eyes.* 

I’m enjoying all the banter. But I’m LIVING for the half naked Adam Collard. Aren’t we all! Shower me in love potion much.

Happy ‘Collard’ Tuesday!

Chrissie x

 

Just because i’m chilling…..

This weekend is utter BLISS! I am on ‘CHILLS! And after what has felt like such a busy time…nothing has felt more DIVINE that this entire weekend of just doing NOTHING AT ALL.

BLISS!

I shocked myself up at six o clock on Friday morning. Literally jumped upright, with my kitty sheets wrapped around me because for some reason I thought I was late for work! That moment when I suddenly realised that I had nothing on, nothing scheduled, no work, no train to catch, no meeting to get to, no quick change and drive off, no city to romance, no worries, no stress….It was the most liberating feeling I had ever had!

I felt FREEEEEEEEE! An entire uplifting whoosh of glee glistened from the tip of my usually stilettoed toes…all the way up through my system and just beamed out of me like magic.

It’s THAT feeling that we all try to capture in life. It’ll spring up upon us, in glorious little ‘flitters‘ and those little ‘flitters’ be it in work OR love, we treasure so preciously, as they don’t jiggle are way as often as we’d like. But do know that these ‘flitters’ are special (I know they are) because no matter how busy, stressed, or how much of a bad time you’ve think you’ve had…hours, days, weeks, months of it….It only takes one tiny moment of a ‘flitter’ (you’ve snagged your dream job, you’re getting the rest that you needed, you got that ‘good news’ phone call, the girl or guy that you love, has told you that they love you back) to make you utterly BEAM and it’s when we BEAM when we are at our most POWERFUL. And that is the moment when we can conquer the entire world.

I’ve chilled. I’m still chilling. I’ve done schools runs. I’ve enjoyed quiet prosecco pours.I’ve had time with the babies..Junior did his first school ‘Taster Day’…Ruby and I have laid together in fields and talked life..

‘But what do I do when i’m older mum..like for a job?’

‘You do what you love…I’ve worked really hard and i’m working really hard, so you can actually do what you LOVE.’

‘Be a sexy lady like you?’

‘No.’

‘I’ll just sell ice creams then.’

‘Okay, good call.’

Then we just carried on doing life, as we laid back on the grassy field, in the middle of nowhere, one light evening and watched the clouds morph into… well she kept saying ‘witch’ but it definitely looked like a penis.

Yesterday evening, I messaged ‘Firmonnell.’ I always message ‘Firmonnel.’ She one of my closest chick besties and we can’t stop being absolute wankers to each other, because we find our banter far too funny. I keep signing her up to Wunna Land future jobs, because she’s just too good at listening to me spew out glittery all sorts and then organizing it all. I’m good at organizing OTHER PEOPLE. But i’m shit at organizing myself. I hate the ‘little bits.’ I just like it done for me. Lol. I tell ‘Firmonnell’ all my secrets and then help her out by not coming to her rescue and telling her that ‘I’d rather die or stroke dogs for 94 hours’ than ACTUALLY help her. 🙂  (I’m not good around dogs. I don’t dislike them. I just….dislike them lol…They seem so needy and I always have to pretend I really like them when they’re near me. Lol. I’m a kitten kinda girl. So yeah, dogs and farmyard animals…are not my favourite. I like humans.)

Anyway, i’m pampering, I’ve tanned, i’ve booked a massage, I’m being mum, I’ve sent great messages, to a great guy 🙂 …..It’s weird how a great guy can just pop up out of nowhere and without you even knowing *BOOM* you’re hooked…Other than that, i’m honestly really just chilling.

I have a really exciting JULY. I’m working with some great brands, doing some wonderful things. I’ll be travelling a lot and enjoying many a cocktail with you. The blog will become alive in July… that is why this chill weekend is so important.

Some of the stuff I have coming up…I’ll be at the British Style Collective. I have a press pass to the event and I’ll be situated at the Lambrini Bubbles bar having visits from famous faces, normal happy faces, all faces…and YOU! I have access all areas and whoever I meet will end up on this blog! So come have a ‘Brini’ with me.  I’ll be telling to the shows gossip via all my social platforms.

I’m filming….I Have a really great shoot. I meet Jack Parsons again on the 4th. I am booked out on the 2nd for a Podcast interview for a show in Chicago. There is a swirl of amazing new cocktail bars, that I have been booked out to visit. I’ll be headed to every GINO’s VIP launch night, as he opens each of his own restaurants. I’m also writing a book. Well putting one together, as it’s already written.

In August I’ll be flying away for a few days. And I will also be visiting some of your favourite football clubs and meeting a few of your favoruite footy stars…where they will be forced into playing a cheeky ‘Wunna Land’ game for all of you to view online. 🙂 Do know that the games are called ‘Cougar Rollie Pollies/ Spit or Swallow & The Referee’s a Wanker.’ I’m sure they’re very excited. NOT! Lol

The diet’s going averagely well. I started out great and well now i just keep eating all sorts. Lol. Same with the rest of the girls. They ALL snapchatted me the pizza that they were having for tea. Curves are in! Fuck it. We’re hot. We’re not slaves to a diet regime. (Code for ‘We’re weak.’) But whatever, I look alright for a thirty six year old, mum of two. I’m like an ageing Pussycat Doll. What could be better than that! I should get trophies are not being an alcoholic. Wait? I’m deciding if I am one or not? (I’ve decided ‘no’ because it’s not my fault if part of my blogging JOB is to have fun at cocktail bars. It’s work. 🙂 It’s hard work. 🙂 )

I’m odd to enjoy the sunshine!

Kisses,

Chrissie xx

(Photo by Chris Stevenson)

 

 

 

 

But where will it land? ;)

Friday was AWESOME. I had the busiest week of business work this, business work that…There were make ups, break ups, good news, the end of struggles, winners, losers and re *pop ins* by our favourite ‘Gingerbell.’ I actually began Friday by sending ‘my swirl’  a morning message, which produced a reply that made my eyes smile…(HE IS AMAZING)…then as I was wondering around with a glammy skip in my step and a glint in my eye, I sort of bounced into  ‘Double D’ doing a cry, because his girlfriend whopped out the..

‘…we’re just going in different directions’ line. 🙁

I hugged him…and then made him make everyone a brew. Lol. (I’m shit like that. 🙂 )

Me: ‘Have you texted her and talked to her about it all? She could change her mind?’

Firmonnell: ‘Don’t text her. It’s good that you leave it, so she has chance to miss you.’

Yet away from that..it was really great to see the end of Friday approaching and simply *WHACK* on the radio, sing a long to some old school tunes and indulge in Wunna Land GIRL BANTER, with my favourite chick sidekicks, in all of the land.

I always tell you, that we’re all glamourous, all sassy, all DIFFERENT, all ages, yet we all seem to have the same DISTURBING sense of humour. I love a laugh. I am a laugh and when it all turns inappropriate with a…

‘You’re not gonna let him actually CUM IN you, are ya!!!’

We all armed up, got our giggle heels on and WENT FOR IT…and when we go for it…WE ARE AWFUL…because only WE FIND IT FUNNY…

(If you’re about to head to Church…I apologize for the rest of this blog…’)

Me: ‘Boys just don’t CUM IN YOU, you idiot. They’re more cautious these days…They don’t do it, unless they want to make a baby…’

‘They might assume you’re on something when you’re not and just go for it.’

(Dipper randomly walks down and finds himself thrown into our conversation….and with a…

‘The banter down here is AMAZING. I might need to drill a hole through my floor to see and hear you all! But yeah, it’s really hard to not CUM in a girl when you’re in the moment.’

Me: ‘Drill a hole in your floor. HAHAHA! That’s the perviest thing ever! As IF you want a perv cam, so you an just hear about us talk about sex…’

Gingerbell: ‘So what’s going on with you Chrissie? You’ve always got news…I’ve been really boring and sensible…I went to the Doctors and he asked if I was pregnant. Lol. A FUCKING CHANCE WOULD BE A FINE THING…lol.’

Dipper: ‘Yeah, I wanna hear it…I’m married I never get any…Lol.’

Fairytale Blond, *BLUSH/BLUSH/BLUSH*

Double B: ‘I DID TELL HIM THAT I WILL SUCK A DICK IF HE GETS ME MY…’

Firmonnell: ‘Ooh i’m excited! I have date night tonight! AND every week now I come onto Big D…’

(I love Firmonnell for that, as Big D…who is her husbands… expressed how it’d be nice for HER to ‘sass’ on up to HIM once in a while, instead of him coming on to her…She listened…she smiled…and every week she now hits forwardly on her man, without him initiating the ‘ooh’ and they get busy…the good old fashioned way. 😉  THAT IS HOT!)

Fairytale Blond then read a not so expressive text…and simply replied with an ..

‘ok.’

Hahahaha!

Then and because it was FRIDAY we took it upon ourselves to play a game. Previous games we’ve played have been called, ‘Bitch or Booked?’

Friday’s game was called…

‘Where will it LAND?’

Oh my LORD, the funniest time we have had in ages…We were literally crying in stitches, as we all decided to place bets on where any cum will land on a being who was about to have sex! DYING.

Me: Tits! £3 on Tits.

Gingerbell: £3 on tummy

Fairytale Blond *BLUSH*

Double B: Belly button There’s nothing like a belly button cum shot.’

People even WHATSAPPED IN with bets, as banter got that stupid! Lol

Mel: ‘FACE’

Prince Jonny: ‘Hair.’

Double D: My life savings on ALL IN.

Me: You don’t have any life savings????’

I mean who needs the fucking Grand National! Where will it land? A much better wager. Lol.

Then Gingerbell, who i’ve missed goes out of her way to mention that she would probably DO ANYTHING for £25,000, if it wasn’t Illegal. So we obviously got distracted and started giving her options…(Gingers are saucy.)

‘Would yooooooou….Take two…………..’

‘Would yooooooou……’

(Ill let you fill in the blanks. 🙂 We were far too disturbing on all sorts levels. It got so bad, we had to stop playing.But on the up, we obviously have very vivid imaginations. Hahah! It’s a plus. Honest!)

Double B, then decided to inform me that there’s some middle aged lady who can’t stop orgasming ALL OF THE TIME, because it’s an illness.

‘No, like literally…just can’t stop orgasming. I don’t mean needs sex all the time. I mean, she’ll be at the shop and just randomly start orgasming. Lol’

Then I enlightened the bunch by sharing my ‘no cum in mouth’ blowjob technique.

Double B: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

‘Me: ‘It’s the anticipation that terrifies me…I’m gonna cum….i’m gonna cum….i’m gonnna…*&$*”*’

Gingerbell: ‘It’s at the point where you just need to gulp! Don’t think. Just gulp.’

Me: Lol. Don’t be silly. I do that sly wanky off/ sucky thing, when they’ve ‘merried’ in our mouth, yet you sneakily let it run out the side of your mouth, without them noticing and pretend you’ve swallowed it. LOL.

That was Friday.

Today…I have lunch and cocktails.

I have THE BEST CHICK FRIENDS EVER. I mean, sometimes you just need a giggle, a banter, a bit of free chat in the name of utter humour, in order to keep you all ALIVE. It keeps you from going stale. Keeps the air around you juicy. AND makes you feel like you’re living instead of simply JUST existing.

The best thing about that banter…wasn’t the fact that we were being mucky for kicks…it was the LAUGHTER, the happiness, the magic, the atmosphere, the energy, the hilarity and the smiles on our faces as we threw our heads back in absolute fits of GIGGLES.

I have GREAT CHICK FRIENDS.

 

 

 

Breast Milk Pancakes?

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‘Yeah, but honestly i was mental. I was involved in some kind of group, where all my friends came over and made things like breast milk pancakes,’ said ‘Firmonnell to the Little Burmese, ‘just got back into work after shimming at The Clothes Show, with the likes of Joey Essex’ Glamour Puss.

(It felt good to be back to normality.)

Hahaha! What the actual FUCK! I literally know the BEST humans alive. Nothing, (and I do mean this honestly) made my life worth living today, as much as that statement. Not even my own children. Lol. I mean, who is ACE enough to have actually joined a group where in which women, (who had just had babies) squirted milk out of their post preggo boobs, added eggs and made pancakes with it. I AM DYING!!! HAHAHAH. We all actually know a ‘Preggo Princess’ right now and let me tell you, nothing would make me happier, than the reassurance of knowing that she also, followed the likes of ‘Firmonnell’ and made breast milk pancakes with odd, other post birth chicks and simply for kicks. Hahahaha. The evil breast feedy *force* groups terrify me. They’re like smiley, angelic looking HITLERS. They all need to get kicked when the knock at your door…with Louboutin heeled DIVA feet. I bet they all have husbands. Husbands who never get sex. See! This is where i’m going wrong. All the relationships I end up in… include sex. I’ve been a wife THREE FLIPPING TIMES…and they all took a U Turn. I need to ban sex from my love life and start forcing men to breast feed. Pancake groups for everyone!

Then the focus went onto talks of how i keep taking slutty pics in Disney/Primark Onesies and posting them all over Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 🙂 In the words of Lisa ‘The zippers seem to have broken off them all.’ Lol.

I didn’t explain myself too well…as i always figure you never have to explain yourself really, when you’re Me and you have charm and winks that speak for themselves…But the actual story behind the slutty onesie pics is this…

I was shopping with my kids around Doncaster. Ruby really wanted me to look like a Kangeroo and a Fox, so we bought the equivalent Onesies from Primark. I wore them at home. The kids loved it, as it was like i was a fun toy. They went to bed. I had a whole bunch of Prosecco…the zipper came down and BOOM, that was the birth of the ever so popular ‘slutty onesie’ Wunna pics. It should trend. You all should do it. When i take them, i really do think i’m some kind of Burmese Pamela Anderson.

Is this why i’m single? Why am I a tool?

Even Keiran (Junior’s Dad) text me the other night with a casual ‘How’s Junior’ and he followed it up with an ‘I thought you’d be keeping busy posting half naked pictures of yourself.’

Blah! I don’t take playful criticism from people with giant beards. I simply stated that i looked great, hundreds of people agreed…(I WILL GET OVER MYSELF,) he ‘monkey emoji’ed’ me and then we laughed it off. At least we can have a laugh.

I mean, ‘The Mighty’ even said ‘It’s just funny because you’re doing it in a Disney, Monsters Inc Onesie.‘ Hahaha.

Prosecco made me do it girls. They should give it to people in church. (Have i officially offended everyone now? Lol)

(Oooh, i’ve just rushed to put my pink laptop on charge, as it’s running out of juice and the best smelling swirl has just danced under my nose. I’ve got this bag stuffed with bath bombs, like i’m some kind of greedy LUSH thief. They’re for Ruby’s teachers. We couldn’t think of things to get them, so we just went with bath bombs. SHIT LOADS OF BATH BOMBS.)

Lots of gents are hitting on me right now and i’m feeling so ‘whole’ that i’m not really bothered by it? It’s weird because i’m looking for love, my Mr Right. Yet, I can’t be really as I just seem to be all happy as i am and not concerned with it, until it smacks me in the face and I get swept off my feet.

In life there’s only been ONE guy that has swept me off my feet romantically. The rest have liked me, but not really. Infact, no Mikey Ray my first hubby loved me. I’m glad he’s gone on to do so well in life. He’d be dead proud of me now. But we don’t speak.

Talking about ‘no speaky!’ Get this, ‘Eton Mess’ and I aren’t even talking anymore. He hasn’t messaged me to say ‘hi’ or anything in a couple weeks. How weird. I haven’t messaged either yet girls shouldn’t have to. Boys should do the leg work and they nly do it if they’re truly into you. (And yes, i do get that lots of you are hitting up my inbox with ‘leg work.’ But, with girls, we have to properly fancy you in the first place to appreciate. We are SWINES like that.

I’ve said it before. It’s sweet getting messaged lovely ‘advances’ (at times,) when you’re not being pervy. I’m flattered. Utterly flattered. Especially as i’m smashing into thirty six on the 19th of this month. It makes me feel fanciable and i appreciate that. HOWEVER, we as girls wait for that one message fro that guy that we adore…and it’s when we get THAT message that our kitten hearts skip a beat.

I do mean that in general, as i’m totally single. There is no apple of my eye. I reckon i’m the most eligible Bachelorette going. 🙂 But i would wouldn’t I, because i’m a glamourous… plank.

 

The way I see it is that THIS YEAR, more than ANY year in my entire life and BOY HAVE I DATED ALL OVER THE GLOBE. Hundreds of times. Lol. I’ve romanced many a man. (That’s the problem, it should be the other way around.) But this year, i have had the honour of meeting some of the greatest guys, that i’ve ever gone on dates with in my life. Such handsome, fun, sweet, sassy gents. I’ve had a great time.

But now i’m headed for better times. Times that i deserve!

Come at me life!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love, Sausage Rolls & Fox Onesies

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Well the Fox Onesie Selfie got out of hand didn’t it! My Facebook inbox went a bit silly and my comment list got a bit ‘excited.’ My Twitter tweeted and my instagram message box filed in all sorts. It was kinda meant to be fun, funny and a bit slutty. Lol. Not a way to beckon in madness. Yet whatever! I loved it! i was in a Fox Onesie. Some of you were lovely. my Ponte guy friends jumped to my rescue and you’ll always know who they are during mass ‘comment’ parades as they will be the boys that I always reply to beause i actually know them in real life. Haha. They’ve known me since i was 17, they see me all the time, we’ve all been out loads at some point about town. They’re great!They’re hilarious and will either make fun of me, themselves and well as it was today…YOU! But only if you’re being pervy or if you accidentally set yourself up to be mocked. Even my mum *jumped* in with ‘yadda yadda’ today. I think she called someone a ‘pervert’ because he’s Father’s friend and typed something that was moderately inappropriate! Lol. My inbox kinda made me ‘withdraw,’ as it terrified me off. My own doing…so whatever i can handle it. *Wiggle…Giggle.*

Anyway! IT’S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE. I’ve been at work all day and Monday’s are hard for everyone. You kinda just have to get on with it don’t you and hope for the best. There’s no silver linings, other than being grateful that you made it through in one piece. Like i said, it’s a great day to be alive!

Today I held sausage rolls in the back of taxi as throwback hits from the 90’s played in the background. I also sent ‘Eton Mess’ a picture of the Lego Version of himself. I ate nuts by accident and i’m allergic to nuts, so that hasn’t been fun this evening. An alcoholic version of Santa, who was on the streets of Doncaster sat on a chair, with a rubbish beard on and sack full of cheaply wrapped £2 presents, gave my kids toy GUNS. (They’ve shot me all night, whilst i’m dressed as a fox, by a Christmas tree.) But i have a gin and tonic…and that makes me smile. I’ve actually done lots in this Fox Onesie. Lol. I even took a big blog business call with some executive…whilst I was on the other end of the line, dressed in a giant fox onesie. Life is good! I even have a fucking fur tail.

My facebook newsfeed has been filled with girls and guys rambling on about how awful their love life is and gosh i know that i definitely do that on occasion, but at least i’m funny with it. (And i’m funny with it because i’m REALLY not that sad about my love life. Lol. I’m not emotionally young, i’m kinda okay with being me and being single. They’re are fun parts to it and like i said, i’m one to wait until i find the right match, rather than waste on a mismatch. You’ll know when you find your match, as the connection will grow with ease. ) Young girls should concentrate on ambition and succeeding at what they want to do in life. Not crying over some tragical 20 something year old boy. Lol. Have fun! Lighten up! Enjoy Christmas. Be sexy! Own it.

I read this piece today stating that we apparently fall in love three times in our entire lifetime. It already put me off, as i had previously read that it was twice, years ago in some book about soulmates. But it says that we need each of the 3 loves for a reason…

The first love is the young teen love. It plays out in an idealistic fashion. It’s ‘fairytale’ and in this day and age, you’re definitely not going to stay with them forever. Lol. But the magic is that you ill believe you will. My first boyfriend at school was Dan (Danny) Shaw Town. He’s actually an amazing and popular artist now. Look him up. Great work. I loved him and cried on a loo when i was fifteen when we broke up. Haha.

The second love is supposed to be the hard love, it tests us, teaches us and makes us stronger. It shows us who we are, when it comes to matters of the heart, what we want and what we need in order to feel loved. (And when i’m talking love, i’m not talking about the people you end up in relationships with, only the ones that you have TRULY LOVED.) It’s usually unhealthy for us in the end, unbalanced and well the article said ‘narcissistic.’ Yippppeeee!  It’s the love that we wished was right, but deep down know it’s far from perfect and ‘ouchy.’

The third love is the love that we don’t see coming. It comes as a surprise, packaged all wrong, destroys the norm of what we thought would be peeking around the corner. It changes everything and fills our soul with ACTUAL love. That person that you never thought would happen, but did and you deep down love it. You try to avoid it, yet you find yourself right back there because it just feels right. It’s the one that lasts forever.

Now i don’t know how true all this is….and i never really overthink it, as i simply believe that if a girl goes about enjoying life, herself and the world, Mr.Right just finds her, falls in love with her and that’s it…sorted. I do however find the art of love interesting, yet never understand why people complicate it so much…as it’s the simpliest thing in the world ever.

I’ve had a great family night tonight. The kids are amazing. They make me so happy. I came home, to find that Ruby had got mad with grandad and therefore in a moment of rebellion opened every single one of her Advent calendar ‘doors’ and thrown the contents all over the floor. This year i had bought the children the calendar’s that have Playmobile toys in them instead of choccies and SHE KNEW that she wasn’t allowed to even start opening the calendar.

When i walked, in she was hiding on the stairs and i saw the mess, didn’t say anything and simply started putting each piece back in the box. My calmness confused her…so she poked her head around the door and said ‘Grandad said i could do whatever i wanted.’ (Then RAN off.)

I beckoned her back in and told her that i had put everything back in the calendar, like it was new. She looked at me sheepishly. Yet i didn’t have to tell her that she had done something wrong, because she already knew. She knew that I trusted she wouldn’t do what she did. I didn’t HAVE to say anything. I wasn’t even angry with her or ‘off.’ I just carried on.

She got on with her evening, we were all fine, playing, laughing, joking and then an hour later, she slowly snook up to me, when she was alone, gave me a cuddle and whispered ‘i’m sorry’ in my ear.

In life, you just have to understand people, what they do, why they do and deal with situations and in a calm, positive manner, before immediately coming up with solutions. If you trust people, you’ll find that they don’t always let you down and will in the end, whisper that ‘sorry’ in your ear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peacock dresses, fools and busy times

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So happy it’s the weekend! Had the busiest week. It was always Monday and seemed never ending. Lol. Really busy and you don’t really realize how ‘on the go’ you’ve been until it hit’s five thirty on a Friday afternoon and you throw on your coat and strut out the door…still with everything buzzing in your head and hit *pause.* Got home, poured a gin & tonic (hurrah) didn’t even know what to do with myself, *look puzzled here* ( got into comfies, danced with the babies and whilst reply messaging to friends that i hadn’t managed to keep up with, I must have become (and i’m using this as it was very well put by a being) ‘overwhelmed with chilledness’ that i fell asleep, in bed at 8pm…mid message, arm flung down, glitter wrapped phone (don’t glitter wrap your phone, it fucks it up,) dropped on the bedside floor. I think my body was just in shock that it didn’t have to get up for work in the morning and it finally embraced the ‘chill.’ TIKI BAR COCKTAILS FOR EVERYONE!

Hope you’re all okay! Happy October. I’m dress buying (online) for the Leeds Lifestyle Awards, that is on Wednesday. I Know, odd day to have it. But still fun. I have no time to work on my general Autumn wardrobe or my  kitty divine Winter ‘look.’ Lol. My obvious life essentials are being neglected. I’ve had a tough week. I don’t know why? It’s simply what The Gods ordered. I can handle it. 😉 There’s this Belly Button guy who keeps messaging, on repeat, daily and i find him really annoying, but surely because he should have better choices for fun? He wants to be on the blog..so there…now you are! GO AWAY! 🙂

Did you know it was was Nigerian Independence day today! Facebook told me, as I am to celebrate it with my New Nigerian friends and blog readers. Lol

Just adding my favourite Peacock dress here as an interval. You can go make a cup of tea at this point.

‘McC,’ and I paid off our ‘pimp’ debts, lol,  talked about bouji Advent Calendars and had prawn salads together, because we couldn’t find the ‘spud van.’ I can’t wait for Christmas. I want it to be my birthday. Everyone is rocking their new bouji cars. I now think Gin is more of a key positive than a sausage roll. I’ve had a being send me a photo of a chair that they built..not from scratch, but from the Devil’s land ‘Ikea.’ (I love Ikea, yet i due to my absolute lack of the required talent, patience or skills to be arsed to able to screw things together, from following an upside down plan, to me…it’s one for The Devil..or a fool. 🙂  He’s sweet though. He’s smashed a chair out in seconds.)

GOD! I saw a middle aged man get run over by a Fiat yesterday and because some teens on bikes wouldn’t move out of his way. Just like that! Boom. Down! Then he got up and called the Fiat a ‘cunt’ (Which reminds me, i’m loving filthysentiments.co.uk right now) and I had this weird flashback in this moment of a time I was at The Dorchester and Jackie Collins told me that I should be Fergie, after I was told to read part of my book out to her? Hahaha. (Why would that trigger that!)

Anyway, before i go and i’m gonna be writing TWO MORE BLOGS TODAY,WHILST I’M CHILLED, SO GET READY. Everything happens for a reason? And i like brave, attentive boys.

Simples. *Bye*

 

 

Adventures, Work, London and The Old Love Life

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Work was great. I’m feeling on top of it all right now and like i finally know what I’m doing. Lol. Yet, i’m still learning all at the same time. But now…it’s fabulous..because I can have these moments to myself when i sit back in my swizzle chair, breathe and smile. I’m getting there. 🙂 🙂 🙂 I feel really lucky.

I’m home, i’m already in my pj’s, i’ve munched on wasabi nuts (that isn’t code for anything) and I’m chilling with Ruby (as Junior’s with Keiran tonight.) I bought her ‘after work’ flowers today, just to make her smile. She’s only  yet like her Mother she has this absolute adoration for flowers. The simple things that are beautiful and fresh. Plus, when she’s older she’ll associate flowers with love. Which will be great when shes dates, or rubbish if she dates a nuisance, who either doesn’t buy her fleurs or only buys her them because he’s fucked up. 🙂

I haven’t voted, so i’ll not get into that! My entire newsfeed is all EU Referendum and it’s annoying. I now it’s important to vote, but jeeze, i have not a single clue what ‘in’ or ‘out’ stands for. So I didn’t bother. I had a wine instead. You should to.

So, yeah i’ve been working a lot and enjoying life. However, on Tuesday evening i headed to London, The Captial, to meet a guy, for a couple drinks and well…I fancy him…and i wanted to see him…so i did. Simples.

Pushed away from my desk, dashed to get a train, got changed on the train, spritzed, hair tossed, and bronzed in a train loo 🙂 and then sat back down opposite some really weird guy who refused to wear shoes on a train and zipped his hoodie completely over his face so you couldn’t see a peek of skin. He had a woolly hat on too. It made me feel as though my life wasn’t so bad. But i did what any decent human would do and took a picture of his feet, sneakily and whatsapp’d it to the guy I was meeting. 😉 Then the weird guy got off the train and switched out for a guy who wore a dirty top hat with a peacock feather jabbed in it! Who are these people!!!! They actually made my train glamming look normal, so in a way I kinda appreciate them for taking the stares away from me. Lol.

Got off the train, tottered down the platform. I was more glam than last time, yet less glam than normal and cos we were both running late, I got straight in, sat at a table and made drink orders. I was sat in the exact same venue, at the exact same table, in the exact same chair. I enjoy those moments, as they’re sort of like deja vu…but you get to have another go at it, like Ground hog day…yet this time it develops.

He sauntered in about 3 mins after I sat down. He looked amazing. So hot. He’s just sexy. Naturally charming. And…well he knows it, in a not so cocky kind of, ‘i’m cool’ way? Does that make sense?

Anyway, I wasn’t at all nervous this time. I felt really comfortable. And yeah, you do get nervy sometimes, but i was more excited to see him than anything. Plus, like i said I have a one track mind when it comes to gents, so if i know i want something, i want…and nervousness goes completely out the window and a sense of confidence takes over.

But we chatted straight away. Drinks came. We caught up, we tested the waters, we laughed, we flirted, we talked, we sized each other up with charm and sass and yeah we enjoyed each other’s company. Like i said, I really like this guy, so right now i’m always impressed by him. He’s charming and he’s open and pretty honest about everything. Yet he’s hard to read…as i never know what he’s thinking. So i know that he obviously fancies me…Yet i would honestly have no clue as to the degree of ‘fancy’ he’s at. But i’m a direct girl, so i’ll just ask him and he’ll state that he fancies me..then be all charming with a smile. (And it’s during the ‘charming smile’ bit where in which i don’t know what he’s thinking.)

The evening was great and we just enjoyed each other’s company. He snacked, we ordered more drinks. We flirted, we found information out about each other lol, yet in a sassy manner…and just got on with it, without thinking. We have a chemistry and well we were plonked in each’s life path for some reason right? And timing is everything, as i just think people are placed infront of you at the exact time that they’re meant to be.

Right now i have a forever filling Facebook inbox, that i’m just ignoring. I have guys winking at me from almost every angle. Yet, out of every single one of them…this is literally the only guy that I want. And I WANT HIM. I fancy him enough to date him. I’d be his in a second. I’d date him. I’d be his girlfriend. AND i’m aware that that may sound really stupid and normal, as we girls are always like that. BUT I AM NEVER LIKE THAT! I hardly ever fancy anyone…ever. I mean, God…i’m a tricky pull and for once i actually fancy a guy, just because he’s perfect for me..and i know that i’m perfect for him. I never usually have a chemistry or a pull with a guy. So it’s pretty decent. I’m confused yet it’s good in all the right ways and bad in all the right ways. Which to me means balance. Lol. So i’m going with it. (Shut up.)

However…and there’s always something..isn’t there. I’m here, feeling all of the above and I have no clue, as to how this guy in question actually properly feels about me. Ofcourse i know he likes me. I know that. But handsome guys, enjoy hot girls…always, don’t they.

So, Me being me, i’m taking it a strut at a time and just enjoying the time we spend together, as that’s the smartest way to be…and if it develops, it develops and if he doesn’t…it was still awesome. It was (well still is) good times.

I always believe that if a guy wants you, he’ll come get you and if he changes his mind and doesn’t…he won’t. And that’s that. But we’re in a good place right now. So i’m just focused on the ‘now’ rather than the anything else and loving every moment of being ME!

I had to wake up at five o clock in the morning, the next morning and dash from London to get to work in Pontefact by 9am. I got there by 10am, tired, but smiling and they could see the smiles in my little squinty eyes. I made loads of train buddies as my train got delayed and I honestly felt like i had take 40 trains, a taxi, a donkey, row a boat, run a marathon and drive…because of tiredness and ‘being on time.’ It was crazy. I mean I did it. Late. But i did it. Being on a time deadline is awful when trains get delayed. I hate it. I like to go on an adventure and make it back on time like normal. But I got there and it was sunny. 🙂 I worked the entire day merrily. I didn’t even feel tired due to Adrenalin…until about 4pm when it kicked in. Lol.

But i’m happy i did London, as the guy is amazing, he’s awesome and i’m happy i got to work, because I LOVE IT.

He could be sat at his place right now, thinking, ‘she’s alright…but i’m not really sure, if i…’ Can you imagine!! Lol. I mean, how cringey am I! But whatever, I never care about making myself look cringe, as at least i’m honest and i’m cool. I’m really cool. Hahaha. KILL ME! Being expressive and direct is one of my forte’s so if that’s how i feel, that’s how i feel and it’s ace. Simples!  I’m not lame. I’m dynamic. You’ve got to at least try and get what you want!

I mean God, he’d be pretty stupid not to go for it right? 😉

 

 

 

 

 

I’M BACK! *THE BOYS*

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And we’re back up and running! YeeeEEEEeeeeah Baby! *Cocktail chinks here…Conga Lines….Air Kisses…and Pelvic trusts!*

I cannot even tell you how bizarre it’s actually been coming home after a busy work day, or waking up early before the babies have wiggled out of bed and NOT HAVING a blog to write. It’s been awful. Murder, I tells ya! I’ve felt disconnected. Almost burdened with so much Wunna info that I was unable to spew out. I’ve been drinking more, sleeping less and and twiddling my thumbs to the merry sound of life. It’s got me down. (The Queen had a birthday. Prince is died…my Beiber obsession turned mental…all sorts.) I’ve literally been lost without my blog and mainly because i’m a massive attention whore, I enjoy routine, i have this eternal need to express or inspire, my blog is my therapy, it’s kinda the emotionally ’empty out’ as I put it 😉 …babies are made that way also incase you needed a little help…and well…I sort of just enjoy to write. So yeah, having no little piece of rented cyber space, that has my name whopped upon it, has nearly killed me. I did the try to make like Buddha and be patient thing, with it being a virtue n’all… and succeeded to a point, right? 🙂 Yet in the end, I made the executive decision to go berserk, with a ‘fuck it,’ a moan and an ‘i cant handle this.’ But i’m BACK! MwaHaha. ‘LOOK AT ME. READ ABOUT ME. BE ME. ADORE ME. ANYTHING…MEEEEEEEEEEE!’ *Throws you an eyeliner to draw slanty eyes on your face and a bit of old weave.*

I don’t even know where to start? Lots has happened.

I did my 10 day work stretch. Knew I would champion it. I always do. On Day 2, i felt like shit. But by Day 9…even though it was stressful and busy, i just got on with it and did it with a smile on my face, fun with Chloe (who honestly tells me the most strangest stories that have no beginning, middle or end Lol)  and victory ‘karate chopped’ life. I’m unscathed. Untouched. Just Fabulous! In fact now that I’ve diddled the 10 days, it wasn’t so bad. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I enjoyed it, as it was pretty much equivalent to banging my head between a rock and a hard place most of the time…with a stress rash…and a Bimbo smile…Oh and tits. But i did it and in Wunna land, feeling some sense of achievement makes everything all rosy. I have four whole days of NEW, NEW, NEW…FRESH, FRESH, FRESH. I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!! (But i have news on that, as remember that these are back dated blogs.)

Where to begin?? Okay? Erm..? Keiran and I are getting on well. We’re parenting Junior like pro’s now, even though he told me that he couldn’t pick Junior up from nursery, then picked Junior up from nursery meaning we bumped into each other. I had a rush face. He was all tanned and in short shorts…and we babied Junior in the middle of a car park, as all he wanted was cuddles and kisses from us both. It was actually lovely and it’s great to be getting on with Keiran again. He’s still doing those ‘healing eyes’ at me, which tells me his heart still loves (which is essential for co parenting perfectly, his eyes watched me this time, properly) and well during this time, Keiran was stating that I should probably refrain from dating anyone…like ever. His exact words. I just looked at him and said, ‘I can’t stay single forever!!!’ But he just looked at me like i could and I should lol…then finished off by saying ‘Who says you’re going to be single forever?’ (I think it’s because i made him a sandwich the other day.) Then as he nearly got run over by a girl named ‘Emily,’ (he has that affect on women,) Junior made us stretch an entire industrial (one of those metal spring back ones? Fuck knows? I’m a chick!! Lol) But yeah, Junior made us stretch an entire tape measure across the car park, as far as it would go…as he watched in awe and amazement. So there we were five years on, stood in the middle of a parking lot, in the six o clock evening Summer sunshine…with the full length of a tape measure pulled between us…just because we created a human that we both share and love more than anything in this world. That’s what we have in common. (He still feels for me me. I can tell.)

Then I started talking to ‘Cloughey.’ He’s the new current addition in Wunna land. I’ve been chatting to him lots recently. I never really knew him before so it’s been good to sort of discover him and feel intrigued by him. I am MASSIVELY hooked on Cloughey right now. There’s something about him that’s magnetic…I just find him interesting and I love interesting people. It’s my ‘thang.’ We’ve actually chatted lots and for ages…as i haven’t been sleeping (DON’T TAKE MY BLOG AWAY AGAIN WAZ) and he’s been working nights. So in those moments where it’s not really day, but not really still classed as night…we’ve been chatting and about all sorts…and with this weird honesty and *winks.* He’s been impressing me. Not deliberately. Maybe deliberately? Lol. But nonetheless…the same result has occurred. Interesting guy. I’m intrigued. He’s both ‘global’ and just ‘going with it.’ The fact that he’s shocked that I might bother to have a conversation with him, somewhat worries me, as my persona gets the better of me most for the time. I’m not evil, nor am I the sweetest berry in the pie. I’m fun, sassy, but kind. I’m the kindest sasserilla you’ll ever meet. But I enjoy this boy because he’s positive and open about previously being negative. He’s creative. He writes. He’s clever. He’s smart. Lots of things. But one of our convo’s basically stated that know matter what life decides to throw at you, it’s important to be able to catch it, remold it to your benefit and be able to live….happily…in the most positive way you can…regardless. There is more on him….it is a space that I am watching…He’s a mind Wizard, who wants champagne in the woods. Interesting… Interesting..*works overtime*… Interesting..

Then Lee, my favourite Policeman’s came into my work to see me. He’s all worried now (as am I)  because it’ll be ages now before he gets his almost daily Wunna fix and having no blog to refer to, has moderately disturbed him and a bundle of humans across the globe. I have an inbox full of people asking me what i’m doing, and when i’m going to report it all? I obviously love that! It’s my juice, isn’t it! 😉 I saw him Friday, as i worked and the next time i’ll see him he’ll be married (‘cold feet’ much…hahaha, but for guys it’s much harder to jolly on to the merry sound of ‘COMMITMENT & FOREVER,’ isn’t it? LOL.) We get on really well I told you. He’s like my guy best friend. A watchful, overprotective big brother. A GREAT GUY. A soft soul. We tell each other EVERYTHING. He enjoys making fun of the Spanish Doctor and I enjoy telling him to concentrate on his own life of ‘soon to be’ marital bliss. 🙂 Worked out for Me…EVERY TIME. 🙂 Haha. He’ll come back with a wedding ring itching his finger Lol…the poorest timing and a tshirt tan from Barbados….and might even have made little Policemen babies?

Y’know, Lee’s always been really kind to me. I’ll never forget the whole hospital magazine ting. Ting? Thing! Hold up, I obviously believe i’m in the Carribean!!!  Haha. I heart good people, or people who make an effort to care. Our rapport is good. I’ll miss him loads. Plus, he’s the guy that would protect me from bad things a happening….I like that! He sees it as a guys role naturally and there’s nothing worse to me than a weedy guy who daren’t protect a chick, and i don’t just mean physically. I’m a girl and I may be outspoken and brave…but i’m non confrontational, I don’t make fuss out of nothing either…yet if someone was talking or doing rubbishy things to someone i actually cared about, i’d immediately step in and sort it!!! If anything, i’ve found a really great friend in Lee. Nice surprise life! Cheers! I think i’m just a girl who needs a guy who serves a different purpose in every corner…just in case.

(I’m in Starbucks. The one in Doncaster. It used to be my favourite, as I swear they only used ot hire young, hot, model boys. Now it’s full of girls. Lol. And i’ve just had to clean around the toilet in the ‘LADIES.’ WHAT WOMAN WEES ON THE FUCKING SEAT!!! STOP IT. IT’S MUCKY! {Plus, I have better things to do than tissue up your urine, simply so i can take part in my own piddle. There am I , in my full ‘big hair, don’t care’ and lippy, all over eyelashesd and pouty…wiping up some other ladies wee, privately in a coffee shop loo. Life at thirty five.)