Fairytales, A Bit Of Luck & a Very ‘Happy Ending?’ ;)

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I don’t even know what’s happening right now? I’m literally the luckiest little tinker in all of the world. I’m jammy. I’m a shit. But i’m really enjoying my little version of life and mainly because right now, I’m doing everything I love, everything I WANT to do and now no longer HAVING to do.

You’ll already also know, (because I shoved it all over my ‘socials,’ that I found part of my Spanish get away in the foreign press a few days ago…which made me smile. I shot a lot, so to see me headline, a little something, in a different land, made all the picture taking worthwhile.

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I like making foreign press, as with the blog being read all over the world, (which i’m grateful for)…I’m gonna be honest, all press or ‘look at me‘ around the globe… is pretty helpful. Having the blog is great for spreading Wunna Land news around the world…as is being a model….You travel a lot.

It honestly helps a great deal. The phone starts ringing so much, you start making up a dance routine to your ring tone….

But anyway….

I had a WUNNAFUL Thursday…Well….I think it was Thursday? Whatever day it was last week….We’re gonna fly with Thursday….

WUNNA LAND WENT MENTAL.

It was sort of good news, after good news, after great news phone calls, after really fucking phenomenal emails. Lol. Everything, I had been worrying about, turned out roses. Everything that I didn’t even know would happen…ended up being presented to me as a lucky opportunity….and being the high strung executive that I am.. ;)….I simply did what any professional would do…and that was…

JUMP UP AND DOWN MADLY ON A STOOL, IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM, SCREAMING WEIRD SHIT LIKE *YIPPPEEE* & *WOO* AS I LET THAT RUSH OF A WUNNA LAND BUZZ RADIATE FROM ME.

I was so giddy I could’ve giggled up martini’s and done *can can* kicks in a conga line..(and I hate conga lines, I  always feel  that they degrade people. Lol) You lose ALL SWIGEDDY SWAG in a conga line, just so you know. And it’s actually not the fun jiggly part, that makes you look like a lunatic It’s the part where in which the line…. drizzles off, into nothingness and no one knows what to do, other than look lost and act like it never even happened?? It’s a similar awkwardness to that of a dodgy one night stand.

It’s that part that solidifies it’s stamp of utter degradation. 🙂

But yeah, I don’t even know what’s going on? I’m just riding the beginners wave and enjoying it with love, my fingers crossed and excitement! And the reason why i’m so happy about the weird consecutive ‘good news’ thing, is because my life NEVER pans out this way. I USUALLY have TO FIGHT for a ‘good news’ result.

Now, it’s served up to me, with cocktail umbrellas and nipple tassles on. I can’t really believe? It’s weird because in life, I do feel as though i’ve done well. I’ve achieved. And my dreams have come true.

Yet, i kinda set all these other goals and dreams, each time I accomplish a ‘tick box’

Friend: ‘You’re actually going to do it Wunna!!!’

…and right now, it’s crazy, because it feels like i’m doing it again? And because i’ve worked so hard for it…It feels doubley great! You just feel so much more satisfied. I can’t even believe it. My life is changing again!

I feel like the luckiest girl alive…

..in work… 🙂 because we always know that my love life pretty much insists on being disobedient, as it refuses to dance up a happy ending.  Well, not the right kind of ‘happy ending.’ 🙂

(Sorry, i’m having a giggle to myself, because the last time someone, well lets say ‘happy endinged‘ on my back, or was it on my bum? I couldn’t see, I don’t know? Lol….The sentence they said, immediately after, as they did the loving tissue ‘wipe up’ was…)

‘HOW YOU DOIN’

Yes…in a ‘Joey‘ from ‘Friends‘ voice. Love it! Hilarious! (You know who you are! Lol) I actually messaged them yesterday to ‘check in‘ and see how Saturday had been to them? I think I annoy this human. But i’m rubbish via text. I always sound like a twat. At least in real life, I can charm the ‘swiney‘ bits away with boobs and eyelash flutters.

I had so much to tell you, but i’ve got completely distracted by ‘Happy endings.’

I’ll skim it.

So…This Wednesday, I’m at an event in Leeds, it’s the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event with Emma from ‘Love Island’ and I can’t wait simply because I love a good hair piece, so I’m excited to see what’s in store.

My best chick friend ‘Firmonnell’ has exceeded herself. I love her. She’s been drinking prosecco in caravans, to step digging with her mum at Motown nights. She’s felt rough, then after 30 minutes, found that she’s completely and utterly fine again..

Firmonnell: ‘What a different a wash and 30 minutes makes!’

Me: ‘Wow, you sound like a scruff bag.’

Her life seems delicious right now and i’m happy that she’s getting a good old swing in her step…Even if it drowns in prosecco pours. You know you have a bestie when they HAVE TO TELL you, how much you they adore you at 2am. That’s true love. I mean when I was in Spain….I recieved a message that read…

Firmonnell: ‘Are you back yet! I don’t like it when you’re out of the country!’

Me: ‘Don’t bother, i’m not in the mood to be missing you right now. I’m headed to the airport. You could’ve come.’

Firmonnell: ‘That’s cool. Swag it out. Oh and CHEERS! Are you a dick? You can’t invite someone to something, WHEN IT’S ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENED!’

Hahaha. I love her. I love our mad 2am messages, even though our phones refuse to type ‘fucking’ and always ‘predictive text’ out the word ‘ducking’ instead. It’s sooo annoying!

WE DON’T EVEN LIKE DUCKS! It’s so annoying!!

But it’s not just girls and 2am prosecco messages,  It’s the same with boys also….

Get ready for this true fact….

IF A GIRL IS NOT DRUNK TEXTING YOU….YOU’RE DEFINITELY NOT THE ONE MATE. 🙂

AND THAT IS THE HONEST TRUTH! LOL. 

Am i going to get away with wearing flip flops today? Cheap ones, with weird pretend flowers on? Lol

I’m hating on my wonky bottom tooth today. I’m trying to not let it bother me, but it is! I’m trying not to be vain. But I am. I hate it. I want it fixed. It’s ruining my banter. You can’t banter with a buck tooth. I want veneers like ‘Big Brother’ Simone….Her teeth were brilliant! Yet, instead i’m probably going to end up ‘influencing’ something that will lead me to straighter teeth.

Right, i’m done for now. I’m having a chill day with my Mum.

Have a great Sunday! Sundays are always my favourite!

(Pete, Ruby’s Dad is here to pick her up now for the day. It’s strange because Pete and I co parent really well. He’s sweet. We get on superbly. Yet, whenever he comes over for pick ups now, I always feel like he tries to linger, or come in the house, or see me…and i’m always in my own world, when I have down time…I like to withdraw from the pleasantries…So just to wind him up, I disappear and let my mum walk her out, or have Ruby greet him by herself. Lol I’m literally nowhere to be found! 🙂 Haha. I’ve even just heard him say ‘Is our mum in? Can I come in?’ Lol.) 

 

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Boodee, House of Lily & 3 Pumps For You Sir!

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Me: ‘We’ve all got knickers, as in pants on right?’

Cece: ‘Yeah. I’ve definitely got pants on. We’ve all got pants on…She hasn’t though…(Points at girl.) I mean, we’re old. They’re young and don’t where pants. But there was a young girl, who I was fitting, who clearly said she had spanx on.’

Rocker Lily: ‘I’ve got pants on.’

ALL GOOD! SAFETY FIRST!

Now, before I get into all that, as you ALL know that I was at the Boodee Boutique,Influencers Brunch’ on Sunday, at ‘Cuckoo’ in Leeds. My ‘socials’ and inboxes are going CRAZY CRACKERS over it.

I’ve never ever been to ‘Cuckoo’ in my life and I’m known for socialiting cocktail bars like a champion. It’s absolutely new, a tremendous find and it drips with a chilled out, bouji swirl of swag. It’s… COOL. It’s alive. It’s stylish, glamourous, yet not remotely pretentious and you get a free flipping pizza with your drink!

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Bartender: ‘Are you wanting the free pizza..?’

Me: ‘Noo, course not. I’m fine. Lol.

Bartender: ‘I didn’t think so, somehow. 😉 ‘

There’s just a vibe in that place… and ‘old school/new school’ vibe and if you were a child of the 80’s/90’s you will find the music deliciously swag. I ‘Pon De Replayed’ it…. like I WAS….. RIHANNA. (Don’t hate. You could’ve *swiggled it* too. In fact, Hit *play* to feel like you were there with me. See! Aren’t I nice to you! 😉 )

But let me take you back…The train into Leeds, was the busiest ‘Bank Holiday’ train of madness ever. It was filled with young gaggles of party boys, older couples, girls and a group of posh Geordies. (I’ve decided that Geordies are everywhere.)

I had begun the day feeling like a bit of a plonker, as it was early Sunday morning and I was strutting around life, petrol stations, Xscape, wine bars and Platform 2’s in a GIANT fluffy PINK faux fur, diamante heels, necklace and head to toe in PINK & WHITE.

I knew, I either looked marvellous or ridiculous because everyone was staring at me…constantly….and so much to the point that I’d started to feel moderately insecure. Lol. That’s why I had a wine, in the nearest bar, which was The Winter Seam, before my train. The problem with me is that I’ll feel ‘all the eyes.’ which it will make me very aware of my existence…It’ll then make me feel a bit ‘wibbly.’ but you would NEVER EVER know because I will strut into a place, IN MY GIANT PINK FAUX FUR, like i’m P.Diddy. (In fact, if Paris Hilton, Ru Paul, P.Diddy had a threesome, and did it whilst eating a bag of prawn crackers…THAT’S what I looked like. 🙂 )

Luckily, I looked less like a dickhead 3 minutes afterwards, because guys in budget  ‘Stag Do’ Hawaiian shirts began drizzling in…and then even they were *trumped* by the casual floral dress  ‘rocker’ lady with the bright blue hair. Then another Geordie appeared out of nowhere, said I was ‘stunning‘ and asked me where I was headed? (Told you, they’re everywhere. They’ve infiltrated Yorkshire. They’ve infiltrated Leeds.)

Me: ‘I’m off to a brunch in Leeds. I’m not just dressed like this for a fry up. Honest…’

He then asked me for my number, after he smirked at my obviously wonderful banter. 😉 So, I did that ‘Chrissie Wunna’ charm face, where I just smile, shrug, slide off my bar stool and laugh it off, like it hasn’t been said, as I giggle out the door.

Next minute I was in Leeds city centre. It was filled with bustle and I didn’t feel as strange anymore as EVERYONE  was dolled up to the heavens and back.

I diamante strutted down the side of the train station, to Call Lane, through busy city streets, car parks, alley ways, puddles, gave a homeless person a light and past a ton of young 20 somethings who were galloping around with excitement….I kinda felt like The Queen of all Leeds, at that point.  Then I walked past ‘Mission’ which reminded me that Zanetti was doing better than Me.

37, Call Lane. I was at ‘Cuckoo.’ The street seemed so quiet, so I carefully tinkered through the door and..

OH MY GOD….

*Camera Flashes, Music, Balloons, Cocktails, Skimpy Dresses, Highest Heels, Giggles, Laughter, Lip Gloss, Selfie Stations, Madness…*

It looked like the most marvellous place on Earth. Literally a Glamour Pusses DREAM. Firstly, it was filled to the brim with the most ‘dolled up‘ beautiful young girls, you will have ever seen in your life…and secondly, as I told you early, the most glamourously ‘cool’ buzz *fast swirled* through that entire place, like wildfire. (And I was only downstairs at first.)

A huge floral wall by ‘Orla Flora’ greeted you….(they’re really IN right now, aren’t they and taking the place of the ‘Media Board’ for a while.) If you have no clue, what I’m on about…. it’s  basically a huge wall made up of flowers, that you picture by, at events…Any event…Weddings, Parties…Whatever….and I LOVE THEM. (I didn’t have my picture taken by the floral wall, whist I was there, because I was too busy drinking and being on the phone to my friend, but I did notice how strikingly beautiful it was.) 

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GIANT PINK bespoke printed balloons (by Instagram @balloonroomx) filled the room, as young influencers and hopeful future influencers selfied, pictured and pouted by them for content..

The balloons were actually really cute, because they were giant and pink, with the words,

‘YOU DO YOU BOO’

..printed upon them.

It was just ace…

So, let me just fill you in. I appeared at the BOODEE BOUTIQUE, ‘Influencers Brunch,’ which is a glamourous afternoon networking event, for all those who are wanting to be ‘Insta Famous,’ an Influencer, a Blogger, Vlogger, those who want to start building their own business or empire, or those who already have….Well, it was a brunch for chicas of that sort…as they could all meet each other, network and at the same time go around the stalls set up by companies & brands (who are currently looking for influencers to promote their lines) and go make themselves known. Pretty much all the brands where looking for ‘the new face of…’ so they were scouting and casting through the crowds of girls. It was dripped in cocktail magic and the dress code was ‘pink & white.’ (And everything about this business, or any business is about MEETING PEOPLE. It is networking.)

Got it?

Cece: ‘Hi, have you been upstairs yet? I saw you walk in. You stuck out like a sore thumb. Here’s a card for House Of Lily. I was just seeing if you wanted to come upstairs and try some of our clothes for pictures….We’re casting for the new face…’

I’m like stood in my pink faux fur, guzzling wine and texting…But there was just something about ‘Cece’ that I loved. It was the fun in her eyes…So I took the card and she disappeared into the crowds.

Then little Baby Doll ‘Charlie C’ (instagram @charliecaitlyn) caught eyes with me and dashed up, with hugs and smiles…(She is as cute as a button and kinda hot as hell.) She pretty much thanked me for coming and within seconds has *whizzed* me upstairs to go and meet everyone….

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Charlie C: ‘I need you to meet Lisa…’

Me: ‘OH! HI! IT’S GREAT TO MEET YOU..’

Charlie C: ‘No…That’s not Lisa…That’s…’

Me: ‘Oh sorry. Hahaha. Nice to meet you anyway…

(We were literally hand in hand, rushing through the crowds of girls….)

Charlie C: ‘Chrissie. Wait here. I need to grab you a candle. It’s a bloggers candle…and you have a gift bag…Here! Take that!….Oh! That’s Lisa…’

Me: ‘Have I just met her downstairs?’

‘Charlie C’ was one of the girls running the event. She’s young, beautiful, Leeds and bubbly and was dashing about like some kind of stunning ‘headless’ chica of ‘ooh laa.’ She did REALLY WELL, as that event was DIVINE. To the point where I even stopped her at the end…to see if she’d throw me an event..

That girl is so young, but so good at what she does..She is the future Queen of Party Leeds.

Anyway, I felt like a glamourous Veteran at the Boodee event, as everyone around me was so young, I’d say from 18 upwards…There were SO MANY GIRLS, all done up and brimming with hopefulness and it was made me realise how many young people in this actual day and age want to be ‘Influencers.’ It’s the new dream job. I can’t believe how competitive it was, well IS and the girls were every INCH stunning.

They were immaculate.

I agree, that they’re all under really great pressure and I can see the pressure on their faces and I agree that it’s such a hard time for them to grow up in, with everything seeming so ‘social media’ perfect. Their stars and inspirations are the popular bloggers, vloggers and Instagrammers of today. And I feel like, they feel as though, they have a lot to try and accomplish, to get to where they want to be. I’m sure it makes them feel insecure, yet it’s the CONFIDENT ONES that smash through the barriers.

(And I can pick those girls right out of a crowd.)

Yet, the thing that made me smile was the fact that RIGHT NOW, INT HIS TIME, being a BLOGGER/Influencer is such a THING.’ When I started my blog 10 years ago in Hollywood...NOT A SINGLE SOUL was blogging, or giving any shits about blogging…People were making FUN OF for writing an online diary….

NOW! It’s one of the MOST LUCRATIVE CAREERS you can have! (IN YOUR FACE!) So firstly, I’m lucky because I accidentally built by blog up over 10 years, so didn’t really have to start from scratch..I did it all the way through my modeling & tv career…Secondly, I’m old….and so to be smashing it about ‘socially’ at 37 is huge, because you just wouldn’t have thought it could happen. But it has.

Anyway, whenever I go to an event, I do the room scan, I chat to everyone I want, I try to meet everyone and then whilst drinking all the cocktails, in all the land, I’ll then just do what I want. 🙂

Me: ‘I kinda just wanna get pissed now..’

I found Lisa, the owner of ‘House Of Lily.’ She was casting for the new faces of her brand. They had a shoot set organised for the girls, who were choosing something to try on, being fitted into it and then being photographed.

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I loved watching the girls, because it reminded me of being young at model casting days. It was far less glam though and I never heard this:

House of Lily: ‘Make sure the girls are tucking their tops in properly…I don’t want any boobs out…’

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I looked through all of ‘House Of Lily’s’ pieces and they were absolutely beautiful. She’s so talented. I mean, tweed fitted jackets, stunning long sequin dresses, patterned jump suits, see through lace Pussy bow blouses….Each piece was so special and so unique…I was in love!  There is so much that is just SO ME from that brand. I’m gonna meet up with Lisa again and take a look through everything properly with her personally, because her line is remarkable and at an event, it’s really difficult after prosecco.

From that point….my afternoon changed. I don’t know what happened, but I kinda brought the *jiggy* (like I do, I mean lets face it, i’m a chip off the ‘Hilton’ brand, I’ve been raised to ‘party’ and do it fucking well.

Me: ‘I need to drink my body weight in wine..’

Rocker Lils: ‘Shall we get sambuca shots.’

Cece: Chrissie, get in an outfit and picture with it please.’

Me: ‘I honestly can’t be bothered to take ALL OF MY CLOTHES OFF at 37, to put them all back on again right now.’

Then fresh wine was poured and our beautiful cup caked, lily vased, booth…turned into a party. 🙂

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So, I basically ‘lowered the tone…’ glamourously of course! Lol.

Me: ‘We’ve all got knickers or pants on right?’

Cece: ‘Yeah. I’ve definitely got pants on.

I ‘d already decided to ‘get comfy,’ at this point, because I loved the girls. I started drinking, and dancing in the booth, and multi tasked it with selfie and videoing taking for my insta/facebook.snapchat stories. ‘PR Lauren’ sat pissing herself at me, in awe. (I went with ‘awe,’ but she was again either staring at me like I was amazing or nuts? You decide.) We might have had a ‘pose off’ also for selfies.

Cece: ‘Look at you. Please tell me it’s real! You have some life. I want it. I want you meet my daughter.’

(She has the most eye catching mixed raced daughter, who floors it in the beauty stakes. I saw a picture of her on her phone and I was blown away.)

Cece: So, you’ve done Playboy….Have you been to mansion and met Hefner?’

Me: ‘Yeah course. Gosh. I wasn’t a *girlfriend,* I modelled for the brand, which is really different…As the *girlfriends* had to pump him. Lol. I think it was something like *3 pumps* and then the next one?

Cece: ‘Hahaha. There’s me thinking he was some kind of Don, when he could only manage 3 pumps and you’re off.’

Me: ‘Well he’s old int’ he and he has to have them ALL pump him, one at a time and watch…I’m sure they were fine with it, it’s only 3 pumps and a weekly allowance. Hahahaha! It was like a grand a week or something.’

Cece: ‘Y’see, I don’t hate on them at ALL for that. A girl’ll do what a girl will do. I’d 3 pump him for that.

Me: ‘Lol. Me too. I just didn’t have the opportunity too. ‘

Cece: ‘Would you?’

Rocker Lils: ‘Noooo, I couldn’t.’

PR Lauren: *BLUSHES*…I don’t know if…’

Rocker Lils: ‘Actually, now I think about it, I might… I’d do more than 3 pumps though. I’m gonna with yeah…

Me: ‘You’d end up bloody married to him!’

And that was the tone of the rest of the evening. It was THE BEST…WE WERE IN FITS OF LAUGHTER and we’re all Yorkshire, so we’re properly down to Earth, don’t care, say whatever we want kinda gals and it’s amazing!

House of Lily: ‘We might have found the girl/girls for the brand….There was one girl that I can’t find…Go find her Cece…’

Cece: ‘Go find her! You go find her. I don’t know what she looks like or where she’s chuffing gone. It’s packed in here. Lol.’

I just LOVE northern bits of tinker…because if I was in LA I would’ve heard…

‘Honey, can you go get me that gurl already.’

If I was in London… They would’ve have been ‘darling darling’ posh.

In Yorkshire, they’re like..

‘For chuffs sake…’

…and I love it.

Literally the most amazing afternoon brunch of wild girly madness….swirled in a fantasy red lighting, with unicorn balloons and giant carousel decor surrounding me.

All the girls that day looked amazing and the all did so fantastically. Well, I hope they did. I hoped they networked well.

I WILL SAY HOWEVER, that I did notice that even though the girls were immaculately beautiful, a lot of the girls did look ‘samey.’ (I actually got told off for saying that out loud. Lol)

Me: They all look the same. I’m trying to scan through the crowd for something different or someone who tries to POP OUT.’ They look the same, but they’re all different girls? And they’re wearing the same…

Cece: ‘It’s a bloody themed dress code you idiot.’

I’m a personality girl and yes, the glam thing always works, it’s part of the job. I do it at 37 and i’ve done it all the way through my teens until now. And being in LA at the time, we took it to the next level. Yet, through that crowd of girls, there needed to be a ballsy, sassy, ‘stand out’ girl, who strutted in, didn’t care what anyone thought, looked amazing, was of great character and someone who was just unforgettable. Someone who oozed so much confidence that she OWNED THAT ENTIRE ROOM…Someone who you spoke to and was completely and utterly taken by!

A STAR! (‘Types’ SMASH IT.)

I did actually see one, but I can’t tell you who… (No, it wasn’t me, you twats…Lol.)

Great night. Ended up going to Gino’s for a quick wine, which was filled with Italian waiters and a suited party of gents who were all talking about boring things like football and how much they reckoned Rugby players got paid. (I watched them and ate pink wafers out my goody bag.)

Got the train home. Slept through my stop. Absolutely fucking nightmare. (A little lovely Geordie lady nudged me away with a ‘Petal’ and I shocked up with a ‘OH SHIT!!!’ She just smiled and like a Guardian Angel solved all my life problems…Told you, they’re everywhere.)

I ended up having to walk for ages, in my giant pink faux fur and as soon as I got home, I collapsed in a heap on my bed.

Hope you had a phenomenal Easter! Thank you for following my life. Thank you for following my ‘socials.’

Two days and I fly to Spain.

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What Chu’ Know ‘Bout Me…..???

Morning! Morning! Morning! It’s really busy times in Wunna Land and everything is going delightfully. I’m really happy. Things are great. Yeah…I lost my flipping purse and bank cards…But they’re all cancelled off, new ones are headed my way and just like that….life went back to normal. (Even though my Mum did have to take the children and I out to dinner, because I had no access to funds. 🙂 ) We Pizza Expressed it and I had actually forgot how great the food is there. I only got the Caesar Salad, however it was remarkable! I could have it everyday!

BUT NOT WITHOUT A BANK CARD!

Yippppppeeeee!

Yes! I’m in a great mood. I’m tinkered over in a magical swirl of happiness. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive….and today, my cheeky little swines…You have a…

‘WHAT CHU’ KNOW BOUT ME’ BLOG!

(I do the ‘What Chu’ Know’ blog every so often, when things are a little too busy with work….You inbox me questions…I give you my honest answers…You get to know me better, (maybe on a more personal level…) and we all slip on our stilettos and sing nursery rhymes, to the beat of utter happiness.

You cool? Get it?

Cue SONG:

What is your real name?

Christina Wunna. People are always shocked that my name is actually ‘Christina’ and I have no clue why?

What part of Asian are you from?

I was born in Yorkshire, but both of my parents are Burmese. Making me 100 percent Burmese through blood.

Have you ever got with a girl?

I’ve kissed a girl…Haven’t we all…and maybe messed around with one, once…..back in my Hollywood days….Yet only because I had a weird ‘swinger’ boyfriend. I actually didn’t enjoy it….But being young, I sort of just experimented with the whole thing…for him. I wouldn’t do that now…. I’m far too sassy…. I know what I want….Yet, I don’t judge people on their sexual preferences….Ours just didn’t match…. Lol.

Did you actually go to Private school?

Yeah I did. Hard to believe I know…Lol I went to Hill House in Doncaster, then Ackworth School in Pontefract. I have Doctor parents, so I ended up there. However, both my children actually go to that school there now. Which is lovely.

Weren’t you scared moving to Hollywood when you were young?

No. I was so excited. I wasn’t even scared of the bad things that happen in Hollywood. As soon as I got into my taxi at LAX, after literally just arriving, the taxi driver turned around and said, ‘I’ll give you $100 for a blow job.’ I just looked at him, laughed, said, ‘Don’t be a dick…no’ and he drove me safely to my hotel, without uttering another word. He was more terrified of me. I hate ‘ugly’ humans. Good try. But you lose.

Would you let your daughter be a glamour model? 

Not at all. 🙂 One rule for me….One rule for her… Lol

Would you ever get married again?

Yes. Fourth time lucky. I’ll get it right this time around. I’m just a slow learner when it comes to love. I wear my heart on my sleeve…and it’s shit. Lol

How long have you been single for?

I don’t know….? I don’t really count the minutes, seconds and years of ‘single’ or ‘together‘ life….I just get on with it…

What is you favourite cocktail?

Too vague a question. I love all cocktails. I can literally drink ANYTHING. So it depends on my mood. But I’m a creature of habit, so when I’m hungover, I will find a Bloody Mary. Or at Ego, I’ll always order a ‘Salted Rimmed Margarita,’ When I’m Ginos…I’ll always have an Espresso Martini….When I’m at Tattu i’ll always order the ‘Skull Candy.’ That’s just the way it goes…I attached drinks to memories…They remind me of men, friends or past dates….

Are you completely different to how you were in your 20’s?

Yeah, I’m completely different. You are or will be too. In my 20’s. I loved the 20 year old version of me. I didn’t care what anyone thought. I just LIVED FREELY AND HAPPILY. I was a wild one….I’m not as WILD now…I’m cheeky, but balanced. I just love fun…It’s in my soul…

What do you hate about yourself he most?

Such a nice question? Lol. I hate my wonky bottom tooth, which I never seem to get fixed and I hate that I can’t ever conquer my love life….It’s like i’m on a slow moving merry go around, just doing the same thing over and over again….without learning…

Saw that you just watched Fifty Shades Darker….When it comes to sex, or you Submissive or Dominant, and also when it comes to your regular personality?

I’m sassy. I’m both. Well, I can ‘play’ both. and get off on both. I love to ‘play’ in the bedroom. I’m naughty but fun. It’s good clean filth. Lol. I’m just feel really confident in the bedroom. Yet, I’m not remotely promiscuous. Loyalty is HUGE TO ME. I wouldn’t like to sleep with lots of different people….When you’re in your 30s, you can’t be arsed with the ‘no hopers.’ I have a one track mind and heart…So when I love someone, I love them madly. But only them…

Personality wise…I’m dominant. Really dominant. I’m a ‘Diva. I might play or try and be submissive at times….But I’m not….By nature….I’m bossy. I know what I want…and hate not getting what I want. 🙂

Your pics are getting hotter and hotter, do you feel under pressure now that your 37 to look good?

Yes! All the time. It’s stressy. Lol. I have a shoot coming up in a couple weeks in swimwear and looking good for that, has sent me moderately bonkers. But I am vain by nature. I don’t find it a chore to primp. I actually love it.

What are your thoughts on long distance romantic relationships? 

I’m fine with long distance relationships. I’m actually really used to them. Most of the guys that i’ve dated have had busy careers, that take them away a lot and my career too, is quite busy…so It’s kinda just the norm. Plus, romantically, i don’t think geography is an issue when you truly love someone…You’d still make it work….if you could be arsed to, or if it was meant to be…

Will you marry me?

Where’s the rock?

Will you marry me…have more kids, cook…clean and be my bed slave, then take me to male chauvinism classes??

No. Simples. Lol

Dinner, what are we eating, where and when?

Lol. Everyone wants to feed me…. I get this question almost 4 times a day, by strangers…

Can I be your slave…?

Noooooo. I’m not a Dom. I don’t get off on humiliating strange men. I once had a guy follow me around G.A.Y in London, begging to be my slave…He literally wouldn’t go away and kept doing everything I told him too…It was so dull….It couldn’t have annoyed me more! My friends were pissing themselves because they said, ‘You’re the only person I know, to go to the bar and come back with a slave.’ 

Can I spoil you?

No. I hate it when guys say that. Surely real men just spoil you anyway, without having to ask because they want to. If you have to ask a girl that, it means you will never ever do it. I buy my own things. 🙂

You said you’re back on the tv soon, which show?

Can’t tell you…

Being Asian/Oriental did you find it hard breaking into the glamour modelling industry?

No. I started out in LA and out there, you’re actually at an advantage, because everyone is blond, tanned and beautiful, or brunette tanned and ‘girl next door,‘ meaning they have it a lot tougher, because there’s so much competition. ‘Types’ (as in being ‘asian’) work ALL THE TIME, because there’s really just a handful of you in the entire city and they have to put you in the magazine. Lol.

Do you reckon you’ve met the man of your dreams…?

There is definitely someone who I really fancy right now. In fact, more than fancy….

Do you think you’re a good or bad role model for girls?

I’m not trying to be role model. I just write the diary of my life….The good bits and the bad bits….Sometimes i’m preachy and ‘role model’ like, other times i’m a swine. But that’s what makes me real. That’s what makes me human.

Do you make up the stories on your blog?

Noooooo. Not one piece of it is fabricated. Absolutely every single little bit has truthfully happened….to the point where I even MISS things out, because they’re too inappropriate, or because I don’t want anyone to know. All the people are real…They’ve just been given ‘nicknames’ because then they still have their own sense of privacy, yet can enjoy reading and reliving their piece of the blog without you knowing, who they are.

Over the years, are some of the ‘characters’ you’ve labelled with ‘other names’ and wrote about famous?

Oh God yeah….A lot more than you think.

How do you think your blog has become successful?

Word of mouth. It’s like Chinese Whispers…Someone tells someone, who tells someone else….I’ve met a lot of people in my time…So I guess, a lot of people have accidentally read the blog and just told someone else about it….It’s like a cheeky discovery.

What the most important thing to you?

Ruby & Junior. I don’t value anything more than their journey through life…..I’m a soft mum, so they literally walk all over me….

Love or Money?

Both. I like balance. Lol.

If i were to meet you in person, would I be shocked?

No. ‘Shocked’ isn’t the right word? You might feel awkward at first, But everyone feels a little bit weird, until the first five minutes of ‘pleasantries’ are over…I am SUPER DOOPER GOOD WITH PEOPLE.

Would you have another child?

Yes. I’d have one more…Yet, It’s not something that I NEED to do, as I already have Ruby & Junior. I have my hands kinda full, as a lone parent. So, if I knew that the guy was gonna stick around and we were a whole family and utterly committed…Then ofcourse…yeah. I’m sure parenting is much easier with two of you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Robot Husbands, Sex & Miracles..

Image may contain: 1 person, standing, selfie, phone and close-up

Today has been one of those ‘miracle‘ kinda days. I haven’t been able to believe the luck that i’ve had, but i’ve been so grateful for it. I was little galloping around, doing *happy* dances, to no music and total strangers…who definitely now think i’m a lunatic.

I kinda started being positive, after a couple days of feeling worried (cos we do get worried don’t we?) Yet, just like magic, with a *wangle* of a wand and a little bit of a *wink*CONSECUTIVELY amazing things just started to happen….one at a time…ALL morning and hopefully. I even had a prosecco and let my eyes ‘fill up’ a little with glee.

Things aren’t always shit. Remember that. So if you’re going through a case of ‘da blues’ and I really hope you’re not…always remember it IS TEMPORARY. 

You’ve got a whole life to live and no one to answer to.

LIVE IT!

So, I’ve got a lot of shoots lined up and it’s all really exciting. I’m writing. I’m loving the blog and well i’m a ‘show girl’ at heart, meaning shoots are my forte. I love them. I live them…I just find it really fun.

(Hang on a second…I’ve just sat on a pocket rock. No…not a ‘pocket rocket,..’ 😉 that’s a whole different blog post… Junior..The littlest Wunna in all the land…my 4 year old son…Well, he gave every WUNNA in the family a rock , a stone each. They’re ones that he had found on his journies of being Junior. We all actually carry a rock around with us, at ALL times for good luck…I’ve just sat on mine. It’s jiggery jaggery and it KILLS!) 

This morning, I posted a whole bunch of photos and a video on all my ‘socials’ on me waking up…I’m not gonna lie. I did film it yesterday to post out today. I even sent it to someone last night before it went ‘live.’ Lol.

Image may contain: one or more people and close-up Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, selfie, phone, indoor and close-up

Image may contain: 1 person, selfie Image may contain: 1 person, selfie, phone and indoor

Anyway, before 11am (it’s now noon) on my Facebook Fanpage the video had 13,000 views. And the thing that’s been so hilarious about the video is the simple fact that it weirdly shocked people?

I post a lot of pictures…sexy ones…because they’re MY favourite. I post them…People seem to like them, they certainly engage with them and I spend my entire day replying to comments (mainly to gents) around the merry world.

I put my pictures up first and the viewers of Wunna Land, went ahead and ‘liked‘…they ‘commented…’ they ‘engaged.’ It’s always pretty fast on my Facebook..almost like fire….which leads them to a ‘click’ onto my diary, this website…so they can find out more.

But as I posted my video, it was like everything *paused* for a second…Everyone tucked their ‘willies’ back in… put on their Sunday bests, got terrified, realized that I AM actually a REAL LIFE human. and not just a picture on their news feed, or a paragraph on a blog post, that they ‘maybe’ place as some kind of ‘social fantasy….’ (Hahaha. Listen to me talking about myself like i’m some kinda Queen of the world 😉 )

…AND THEY PANICKED.

It all became very real, very quickly…and my inbox has been inundated with the weirdest messages, from people who were shocked that i’m real???

I’M SO CONFUSED?

Who’dya think writes this blog? Lol

I post my own selfies…IT IS ME?

I just thought everyone was going to adore me…Lol…Yet, everyone was more shocked, than anything. And the video’s just morning ‘wake up and stretch’ video? It’s chilled. It’s glamourous. It’s me. (It’s also on my ‘Instagram’ so you can go see it there. 🙂 🙂 Follow me too, because growing an instagram following is harder than...(‘I’ll let you fill in something hard, I can’t think of anything right now…’

But yes, record straight. I’m actually a real life person. I know! How scary! No ones even talking to me today on ‘Insta’...like Twitter…. I’ll just have to wait until the American’s wake up and throw me some..

‘Hey Honey, Love the pics.’

I don’t really have anything else to say, other than the fact that you should totally believe in miracles. I’ve had the most remarkable morning. Eat clean. I’ve been eating ‘fresher than fresh’ and it has served my body delightfully. It’s the cleanest, sexiest rush of goodness. I’m glowing.

I’m also getting really worried because y’know I told you about that woman who married the ghost pirate because he didn’t believe she would ever find a good man….Well, last week i read an article that Robot Husbands were going on sale, so we can purchase and program our futures as women.

Now, I love all social development and I adore the amazing things that the world delivers,

YET, LET’S NOT BE IDIOTS.

Let’s find our *SWAG* a second. (Yes guys, there’s Robot Wives also.)

Surely everyone knows that love isn’t about robots and programming? Surely everyone believes that in the end, they’ll find their perfect match.It’s all about fate, timing and true love. Some find it faster than others…but it’s definitely not a race. Surely everyone in the world is NOT THAT LONELY!!!

I mean can you imagine ME, in my flipping living room listening to some Robot Husband, that i’ve had to get dressed and plonk on some chair, telling me that he ‘loves’ me, whilst we enjoy a homemade skinny cocktail together and watch ‘Dancing on Ice,’ as the kids look at me like i’ve finally COMPLETELY LOST THE PLOT. I mean they’re already like..

Ruby: ‘Can’t wait until I’m married and move to LA, so you don’t moan at me for not going to bed on time.. When are we gonna have a proper family…’

Junior: ‘If you ever get a Prince…Like a real daddy…don’t let him touch your boobs, cos they’re mine.’

And then even worst….when it comes to the ‘nookie’ part of the relationship…The part that as a 37 year old I actually adore. I’m sensual by nature…

CAN YOU IMAGINE ME, HAVING TO UNDRESS MY BLOODY ROBOT, DO SEXY EYES AND BECKONS AT HIM, (whilst he just sits there spewing out his..‘yeah baby you’re hot’ lines that i’ve programmed into him

… AND THEN HAVING TO CLAMBER ON TOP OF HIM FOR SEX. YES WITH MY REAL LIFE ROBOT HUSBAND…

WHAT THE ACTUAL…

Wunna land says it’s a no go….

I even had a conversation with my chick friend ‘Jilly G’ about it..

Jilly G: ‘It’s just like a man shaped dildo.’

Me: ‘No it’s fucking not. It’s not a dildo AT ALL. It has eyes. Creepy ROBOT EYES. My dildo’s don’t have eyes? Do yours?

Jilly G: ‘No..Lol..They don’t speak either..’

Me: ‘Oh? I might have one that speaks? Haha.’

Bottom line…I’ll wait it out, marry a ghost pirate, order 100 cats and cry myself to sleep before I EVER INVEST IN A ROBOT HUSBAND.

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

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Girl Banter, Wine & Dance Routines

Firmonnell: ‘I just love it. Whenever I hear it, it makes me feel like I want to make up some kinda dance routine. Haha.’

(We’re in our thirties…this is not normal.)

Me: ‘Lol. That’s exactly what I said, when I first heard it?’

(Because i’m just as immature.)

Double B: ‘What song is it…?’

And unfortunately for life, Firmonnell and I proceeded to perform the song..well attempt to sing it for Double B, just so she could get which song we were on about? We’d totally forgot what it was called? But it’s that ‘Instruction’ song by Demi Lovato.

Double B: ‘What song? I don’t get it?’

(Her 21 year old ears don’t even work.)

Me: ‘We’re not even singing it shit!!! GOD!!!’

She finally got it. Sanity was restored. The world became a shimmie and well she might have delivered the sentence…

‘Get on my tits’

…as she Sumo Wrestler, knee bended, during the ‘morning part’ of the day.

Then i wished we had prosecco. Kisstory played on in the background….and Russian Roulette was the only game that our phones would allow us play.

Nights out were reconfirmed. Liars were worshipped. Then the girls decided to imagine what i’m next wedding would be like. All the laughs. *Rolls Eyes.* 🙂

Firmonnell: ‘We would be in the SLUTTIEST bridemaids dresses that anybody would have ever seen!!!’

(Who said they’d be wearing dresses? I might make them adorn their crotches with fig leaves, or a single peacock feather. Naked isle strutting! Wahey!)

Double B: ‘I want you to walk down the isle and do an outfit change half way down…I want your first outfit to just slip off your body magically, to reveal your second outfit…Hahaha.’

Me: ‘Hahaha. It’s like the Britians Got Talent Bloopers! I wanna walk to the top of the isle, forget to look at my husband and strike a pose for a  selfie… just for ‘Insta’ likes.’

We had a great day. I was surrounded by the best chick click ever. I’m so lucky. I love my girl besties. But we totally gave zero fucks today and laughed off all danger with sarcasm, lies and should i get that ‘coconut, chilli chicken salad today’ questions.

Sometimes in life, you just have to give zero fucks about things. Have fun. God! We’re a long time dead. If you can’t cut an atmosphere with a burst of good times, then you certainly are not living right.

Then ‘Hustle Barbie’ saunters in, all glamourous, hot and blond. She’s off to her fancy dress party tomorrow night….as ‘Sandy from Grease.’ Luckily she’s going as Sandy, when she’s all ‘skin tight leggings and hip wiggles’ and not the crying in a giant nighty version.

Do remember that in that movie… when Sandy’s all pure and demure,  ‘Zucko’ pretends to not give 2 shits, as he’s far too busy ‘pussy wagonning’ with the boys. Yet when she’s all Sassy and ‘look at me bitch’ he’s all of a sudden got ‘chills that are multiplying’ and a boner that will love only her forever. Interesting!!!

Anyway, back to the story….I got distracted! I’m not sure what happened, because I was just rocking from side to side on an orange swizzle chair and not listening to anyone in my turtle neck, but Double B, did state that ‘Hustle B’ would be totally fucked because see was certainly about to meet someone, where in which the ability to ‘sign language’ would be an absolute must….

Double B: ‘But you don’t know sign language, so you’re just gonna have to make it up. Lol. Is that a dictionary?’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Eww! No…It’s eyelashes.’

Welcome to my world.

Then as I continued to swizzle about on a chair and not listen to much, as ‘No Scrubs’ played on the radio and no one could find a pen… Firmonnell retold the story of the moment Double B sauntered in and looked…well she described her as this…

‘She came in like a 1920’s washer woman, no face on, her skin transparent…and with a messy top knot in. Hahaha. She looked like someone from Downtown Abbey…but who lived in the cellar!’

Hahahaha. I love that!!!!! You know you have great friends when you can refer to each other as cellar gremlins.Just a great day!

Not sure what else happened? Aside from Firmonnell deciding that she didn’t like her hubby ‘Big D’ in a vest…Apparently the only way she can get him to not wear one is if they have sex…

‘At least, he’d take it off then.’

Hahaha.

YES! I’m all for her ‘let’s have sex so you don’t fashion crime around me’ policy. Why is she not Prime Minister?

To be honest, my day ended up being a long one, a busy one, a stressy one…You know the score… I’m just glad it’s the weekend! I’m so excited for peace. I’m gonna chill, enjoy family time, have a wine and write the rest of my book. (It’s out in the New Year. I’ve had people read extracts and apparently it’s rude but okay.)

I mean, on the whole i’ve had a good day, it just ended mentally, which doesn’t help relaxation mode.. I just wanted to get home. I couldn’t wait to get home. But if we (the girls and I) didn’t see adult twins in matching outfits, the cast of Gangman style, a young wannabe ‘heart throb’ use our window as a ‘hair doing’ mirror and a weird dude in an S & M biker hat and nipple vest walk by…I don’t know what we would’ve done all afternoon?

As soon as I got home, I stripped down to comfies, adored my little babies, ordered in a ‘take out’ and watched a motivational video that my Mentor sent me.

Unfortunately i have a short attention span….I like short bursts, rather than long winded stories. Which is weird because I tell long winded stories on here constantly. Lol. But I kinda watched the beginning and fast forwarded it to the end.  🙂 That’s how impressively studious I am. It just got too dramatic and boring. I just don’t need a shouty American to tell me to be driven. I AM driven. I just do it my way…which is calmly… with a cocktail. My eye is NEVER not on the prize. Don’t get it twisted. I’ve not done that bad in life. 😉

I even sent the video on. have no clue why? I just felt like it. But it seems that if you’re already driven and already successful, you’re not too arsed about a motivational video because you don’t really need one. If I can watch it and be bored, then I must be in a good place.

Right…I need wine…

 

 

 

Saturday, Leeds Games & Glamourous Trumping

Me: ‘But sex is a big part of  relationship…’

Chica: ‘Yeah but he’s rubbish at it…’

(Sips Cocktail)

Me: ‘Yes, but have you only had sex once…because sometimes it takes a few goes, to get in line with each others ooh laa…?’

Chica: ‘No…it’s just awkward and not in sync. I’m doing these bedroom faces that aren’t true to his work..?’

Me: ‘HAHAHAHAH! Are you good at sex though? As I reckon loads of girls must be shit at sex, because so many men are always on the look out for it. They take really good ‘i’m good at sex’ selfies, but are shit when it comes to the art of it all. Show him what to do?’

Chica: ‘Show him what to do? He’s a grown ass man. Plus, i’m too shy…’

Me: ‘If you’re shy with the man you fancy in the bedroom, then you’re shit at sex.. There’s only you and him there…It’s not like i’m watching on and judging your thrusts??? Lol.’

Then to our disgrace a guy in a group of boys, who were at the bar also watching last night’s Leeds game does the LOUDEST, most GIANT TRUMP, in the history of the world ever…HAHAHAH….Properly.. with no shame, he just lets it blow. It shattered the mirror of stress, everyone paused and then with ‘throw head back’ smiles, laughter burst through the airs…It didn’t even smell of egg….Kinda smelt like Jean Paul Gautier. Impressive.

Random Guy: ‘Steady on Paul! FUCKS SAKE!’

I love trumps when people don’t care. Hahahaha!

Leeds won. Life was great. I admire my friend Kate’s new kitten hair. I had spent the whole day with the children at the fair in Doncaster. (If you didn’t know, Doncaster is my home town…I go there a lot, so The Wunna Babies and I are a hit down at the old Frenchgate. Lol)

They fun housed, rode motorbikes, hooked ducks and then won fucking fish. IF YOU’RE A PARENT….you get how awful this is! We already have a NEW KITTEN. I’m like flipping Noah’s Arc or something? How can I go from nothing, to a kitten and  fish in days!! Then I had carry these fish around in a tank, with people awwing at me, a security man following me, two bags of Lush bath bombs, 2 bags of books from Waterstones, a bloody whistle, emoji cookies and with my hair stuck on my freshly lip glossed lips. Devastating. It should be a children’s book..‘When Mummy is a glamour puss and had to carry your shit home.’ 

I couldn’t take it any more and demanded that we go to Ego for new steak sandwiches and 2 for 1 cocktails. We’ve had lunch there about 4 times this week. To be honest, at the request of Ruby. Yesterday…I needed Ego and I smashed that salted rimmed margarita like a champion, as Junior made me a car with sparkles on, which looked like a clay poo with sequins and brought me a tiny buttercup. I love the ‘Arts & Craft’ table at the restaurant….You’re kids can make clay things, as you recover and drink wine. It’s creative and educational…honest! 😉

Long, but great day! Ruby decided to be a lawyer and Junior decided that be wanted to play football just so he could kick a ball into my boobies all day?  He laughed about it for about 3 hours. (I’m doing everything with a kitten in my arms.)

I then got home, striped down to my bra and frillies, chilled and sent a message to the guy that I ‘heart’ and the world swirled down to a happy magical ending, as day turned to night…and Saturday turned ‘lights out.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Fishermens Friends Get Sexy?

David: ‘But have you had anyone ever go down on you with a Fisherman’s Friend in their mouth?’

We all just paused and looked at him with dolly shocked faces! One minute we were talking about girl shit and diets and the next minute our guy friend, who my chick friends and I refer to as our ‘Man bitch’ (he loves it, don’t worry,) flies out with a ‘whoop..dee.’

Me: ‘Eww no. Lol.’

David: ‘It’s meant to feel really good. Make it tingle. I’ve done it on a girl but with a Halls Soother.’

Mel: ‘That sounds like it would hurt.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘What if it got stuck in?’

Double B: ‘HAHAHAHA.’

I feel sorry for whoever his Hall Soother victim was. You poor girl. This goes to show how selfish boys can be. Lol. He would have healed his own sore throat and in the meantime given her a sore…£$&$£* (I’ll let you be creative here and fill in the blanks.) Try it! Blame him if it goes wrong.

Fairytale: ‘Hey up! We’ve actually got some Fisherman’s Friends in the drawer. Lol. Take some with you David!’

But anyway, away from all that. I’ve had a great week, but a dramatic week and mainly because I’ve been flirting with my hormones, ( love being a girl.) A lot of snazzy little changes and unforeseen developments have occurred in Wunna land. Great changes, nothing crazy or evil. Yet, they kinda got ‘paint balled’ at me from a good shot, from the skies and being a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, let’s just say… it’s been an ‘adventure.’ (I’ve got on with it boldy with a kitten stride of DIVA and a wiggly giggle…But it feels really good that all has settled now. I’m happy as can be and i’m smiling with excitement, whilst doing *can can* high kicks to Little Mix tracks.

Now, I’m good with changes, I meander them well and glamourously…with sex appeal. YET, this week, i’ve been in a swirl of magical emotion, that has made my little heart beam. It followed up with a SHOCK…and the reason i didn’t blog during that time was because I now refuse to write a blog until I have a clear head. Lol. Whereas before, I’d GO FOR IT REGARDLESS. I’d be brimming over with passion and i’d let that boat sail! But now, I’m officially a grown up now, a hot one. Lol. I’m officially making awesome decisions. Hot ones.

But I have a great support system, as I did need to have a big bestie VENT to ‘Firmonnell,’ because I knew that she was the chick friend who could balance me out and make me see things through rational, positive wine sips. And she did! I don’t know how she does it! Thank GOD for her and her Slimming World Self.

My Baby Cousin Natalia came up from London to spend her birthday with me and the family, armed with her boyfriend Matt. Such a great couple, such great times dining out…such wonderful awkward moments where ruby took it upon herself to force marriage upon them.

Ruby: ‘So, why are you two not married yet?’

Natalia: ‘He has to buy me a BIG sparkly RING before that happens Ruby.’

We’ve eaten everywhere. We’ve hit up some great spots. The service everywhere has been fantastic and I loved snuggling back up into my Flamingo sheets, after mojitos and messaging ‘nighty nights’ to a pretty amazing human. There might have been a selfie too. 😉

Shit, I  was going to tell you something about ‘Double B,’ but I can’t remember what the hell it was now? FUCK!

It’ll come to me? She’s all glam squad right now. All blond extensions and lip pumps. I’m loving it, because I am a chica who adores a bit of the same. I LOVE GLAMOUROUSITY. Yet, being Northern, we’re ace with it, as we don’t have rubbish sense of humours. I am the kitty queen of good times and banter winks. People think i’ll be all high maintenance and sassy…and I can be…LOL…yet most of the time i’m chilled…however, dazzled in fun.

‘Double B’ will just come out with THE MOST RANDOM bits of aceness…

‘Honestly, Chrissie. When does that point come when people just get fucking old and decide to go nuts. Literally, when is that point when they turn into a granny and just say… HEY…i’m going to be a bit mental now???’

Anyway, i’ve got to go. I’m in Doncaster all day today. I’m also popping into Malmaison Leeds later, for a business chatter. I love a hotel blog. I also adore their ‘Rock n Roll Suite.

I have a lot of exciting work stuff happening. I’ve been shooting…as in photo shooting. I’ve been auditioning and I’ve filmed a bit. I’ve promised myself that every day this week I AM GOING TO WRITE A BLOG.

Hope you have an amazing weekend!

Hope you stay away from Fishermen’s Friends.

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing Your Inner Sexiness

I had a bit of a ‘wobble’ yesterday. I don’t know what happened? I lost my swag for a moment and this innocent yet not very sexy cloud of panic…which is a dramatic way of putting ‘insecurity’ swept across my glittery shores. lol.

‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me? I can’t eat! I’m looking at my phone. I’m feeling all weak and not in control..I’m…I’m..’

Mel: ‘You’re boring me now. You need to man up.’

Firmonnell: ‘You just need to go with it and enjoy it…’

Fairytale Blond: ‘YES! I get like that too!’

You see, the great thing about being Me, is that when a ‘wobble’ in Wunna land occurs (that should be the title to a book or a sex toy.) …and because i’m probably the most expressive girl you’ll unfortunately ever cross paths with 🙂 IF I KNOW YOU. If i don’t, I’m quite *nod…nod..smile smile…* Yet, with my girls, i’m wild, fun and all ‘oh my GOD, get what’s happened!!’ Yet, that’s because I adore them, we’re a team, they make me feel all comfy and not very judged. We can say or do anything to each other, in love, banter or life and charmingly get away with it all. We never judge each other and we can’t because we’re all so different. Instead we admire what the others have on offer and sassily help one another out when necessary.

They staggered around me and gave life smirks, laughter, took the piss out of me and ping ponged really good advice into my soul for about 14 minutes. Some were in swivel chairs, others on phones, one by a window. I’m glad my discomfort makes them laugh. NOT! Lol.

But then i had a bag of crisps and a popcorn tea and felt better…Which made me decide that I wasn’t feeling all ‘crazy,’ I was just hungry.

Then we started chatting about other people’s problems and it sort of again made me feel better! Lol. It was weird as i’ll draw the spotlight onto myself and then when everyone’s taking notice, I’ll panic and get more anxious. Then when the spotlight turned and lit up someone elses life…I felt powerful again? Lol. It’s hard being a glamour puss. 😉

Then I don’t know what happened but we started to talk about our sex lives. Well no, that’s wrong…we started to talk about OUR OWN sensuality and where we RANK ourselves in the ‘how sexy we are‘ in bed stakes.

Mel’s all naughty. She’s a grown ass woman, who wouldn’t think twice at the idea of fur coating it with no undies on, with a wink in her eye and sassy glint of powerhouse.

I love that! As when you’re past your 20’s, you turn from girl to woman and BOY do you embrace it sexually. You enjoy sex more, you enjoy your own body more, you feel more comfortable with being openly sexy and YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE and how to please. You’re less insecure and you know what turns you on. You feel powerful in the bedroom.

I FEEL POWERFUL IN THE BEDROOM.

So when it comes to me, i’m cheeky, but i’m naughty. I embrace my sexuality, love intimacy in general and ooze sensuality. I’m loving, but i’m playful…and being in touch with my little sexy self…I’m confident. I’ll go for it and because I enjoy being sexy….especially with someone that I care about. I adore role play. I love dress up. I love it all. If i didn’t like anything, It would be outside sex. I don’t like to be cold. Lol. (Such a granny.)

I think, as girls…or ladies…we all have our issues, don’t we? ‘The Bedroom’ is not one of mine…It’s a really comfy and really private place for me. It seems like i’d tell you everything when it comes to sex, when I’d really tell you nothing, as the privacy of intimacy is what makes sensuality sexy.

But anyway we were chatting about sex and whether we’d send naughty pictures etc…People shouldn’t get cut up about being sexy or feeling sexy. It winds me up when people judge girls who embrace their sexuality…Sex shouldn’t be taboo. It should be fun. Providing you’re an adult…When you’re a chick…SEX IS BEST WHEN YOU GET INTO YOUR 30’S…FOR BOTH PARTIES.

But yeah, we’re chatting away about all things senusal…

and YOU SHOUDL’VE SEEN FAIRYTAE BLONDS FACE.

Now, Fairytale Blond has got ‘the sexy.’ Whether she embraces it or not, I don’t know? No..that’s not true. I do know. She doesn’t. Lol.

Mel and I are sat girl chatting about all sorts, so openly, like ‘Debbie Does Dallas’ is an episode of The Antiques Road Show and ‘Fairytale Blond’ was sat on her swivel chair, blushing pink with shyness and having to fan her self repeatedly because..

‘Gosh it’s getting a bit hot in here…’

HAHAHAHA!

We all just pissed ourselves laughing. She’s so cute. It’s to die for! I’ve never known anything like it.  She’s so ‘Fairytale.’ We literally had to turn the heat down, so she could pull herself together. Lol. But i know, that she has ‘the sexy‘  in her because she too can quite openly talk about sex…It just makes her blush.

THEN to my left, I noticed Firmonnell. And I know Firmonnell is sexy, because her and her husband used to have a sex step. She enjoys sex, she’ll do sex…but she’s not one to chatter about it. Which is honourable. 🙂 But shit, if you want to know everything.

‘Do you send your hubby nudes?’

(Straight forward question from the girls…Lol)

‘Well i’ve been with him since i was 19. When i was younger..at that time things weren’t so techy. It’d cost us 30p to send a picture message. So no…i’d probably run out of credit!’

HAHAHAHA!

However, after girl talk, sex talk and confidence talk…Something tells me their other halves are now in for surprise sexy treats.