When Fishermens Friends Get Sexy?

David: ‘But have you had anyone ever go down on you with a Fisherman’s Friend in their mouth?’

We all just paused and looked at him with dolly shocked faces! One minute we were talking about girl shit and diets and the next minute our guy friend, who my chick friends and I refer to as our ‘Man bitch’ (he loves it, don’t worry,) flies out with a ‘whoop..dee.’

Me: ‘Eww no. Lol.’

David: ‘It’s meant to feel really good. Make it tingle. I’ve done it on a girl but with a Halls Soother.’

Mel: ‘That sounds like it would hurt.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘What if it got stuck in?’

Double B: ‘HAHAHAHA.’

I feel sorry for whoever his Hall Soother victim was. You poor girl. This goes to show how selfish boys can be. Lol. He would have healed his own sore throat and in the meantime given her a sore…£$&$£* (I’ll let you be creative here and fill in the blanks.) Try it! Blame him if it goes wrong.

Fairytale: ‘Hey up! We’ve actually got some Fisherman’s Friends in the drawer. Lol. Take some with you David!’

But anyway, away from all that. I’ve had a great week, but a dramatic week and mainly because I’ve been flirting with my hormones, ( love being a girl.) A lot of snazzy little changes and unforeseen developments have occurred in Wunna land. Great changes, nothing crazy or evil. Yet, they kinda got ‘paint balled’ at me from a good shot, from the skies and being a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, let’s just say… it’s been an ‘adventure.’ (I’ve got on with it boldy with a kitten stride of DIVA and a wiggly giggle…But it feels really good that all has settled now. I’m happy as can be and i’m smiling with excitement, whilst doing *can can* high kicks to Little Mix tracks.

Now, I’m good with changes, I meander them well and glamourously…with sex appeal. YET, this week, i’ve been in a swirl of magical emotion, that has made my little heart beam. It followed up with a SHOCK…and the reason i didn’t blog during that time was because I now refuse to write a blog until I have a clear head. Lol. Whereas before, I’d GO FOR IT REGARDLESS. I’d be brimming over with passion and i’d let that boat sail! But now, I’m officially a grown up now, a hot one. Lol. I’m officially making awesome decisions. Hot ones.

But I have a great support system, as I did need to have a big bestie VENT to ‘Firmonnell,’ because I knew that she was the chick friend who could balance me out and make me see things through rational, positive wine sips. And she did! I don’t know how she does it! Thank GOD for her and her Slimming World Self.

My Baby Cousin Natalia came up from London to spend her birthday with me and the family, armed with her boyfriend Matt. Such a great couple, such great times dining out…such wonderful awkward moments where ruby took it upon herself to force marriage upon them.

Ruby: ‘So, why are you two not married yet?’

Natalia: ‘He has to buy me a BIG sparkly RING before that happens Ruby.’

We’ve eaten everywhere. We’ve hit up some great spots. The service everywhere has been fantastic and I loved snuggling back up into my Flamingo sheets, after mojitos and messaging ‘nighty nights’ to a pretty amazing human. There might have been a selfie too. 😉

Shit, I  was going to tell you something about ‘Double B,’ but I can’t remember what the hell it was now? FUCK!

It’ll come to me? She’s all glam squad right now. All blond extensions and lip pumps. I’m loving it, because I am a chica who adores a bit of the same. I LOVE GLAMOUROUSITY. Yet, being Northern, we’re ace with it, as we don’t have rubbish sense of humours. I am the kitty queen of good times and banter winks. People think i’ll be all high maintenance and sassy…and I can be…LOL…yet most of the time i’m chilled…however, dazzled in fun.

‘Double B’ will just come out with THE MOST RANDOM bits of aceness…

‘Honestly, Chrissie. When does that point come when people just get fucking old and decide to go nuts. Literally, when is that point when they turn into a granny and just say… HEY…i’m going to be a bit mental now???’

Anyway, i’ve got to go. I’m in Doncaster all day today. I’m also popping into Malmaison Leeds later, for a business chatter. I love a hotel blog. I also adore their ‘Rock n Roll Suite.

I have a lot of exciting work stuff happening. I’ve been shooting…as in photo shooting. I’ve been auditioning and I’ve filmed a bit. I’ve promised myself that every day this week I AM GOING TO WRITE A BLOG.

Hope you have an amazing weekend!

Hope you stay away from Fishermen’s Friends.

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing Your Inner Sexiness

I had a bit of a ‘wobble’ yesterday. I don’t know what happened? I lost my swag for a moment and this innocent yet not very sexy cloud of panic…which is a dramatic way of putting ‘insecurity’ swept across my glittery shores. lol.

‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me? I can’t eat! I’m looking at my phone. I’m feeling all weak and not in control..I’m…I’m..’

Mel: ‘You’re boring me now. You need to man up.’

Firmonnell: ‘You just need to go with it and enjoy it…’

Fairytale Blond: ‘YES! I get like that too!’

You see, the great thing about being Me, is that when a ‘wobble’ in Wunna land occurs (that should be the title to a book or a sex toy.) …and because i’m probably the most expressive girl you’ll unfortunately ever cross paths with 🙂 IF I KNOW YOU. If i don’t, I’m quite *nod…nod..smile smile…* Yet, with my girls, i’m wild, fun and all ‘oh my GOD, get what’s happened!!’ Yet, that’s because I adore them, we’re a team, they make me feel all comfy and not very judged. We can say or do anything to each other, in love, banter or life and charmingly get away with it all. We never judge each other and we can’t because we’re all so different. Instead we admire what the others have on offer and sassily help one another out when necessary.

They staggered around me and gave life smirks, laughter, took the piss out of me and ping ponged really good advice into my soul for about 14 minutes. Some were in swivel chairs, others on phones, one by a window. I’m glad my discomfort makes them laugh. NOT! Lol.

But then i had a bag of crisps and a popcorn tea and felt better…Which made me decide that I wasn’t feeling all ‘crazy,’ I was just hungry.

Then we started chatting about other people’s problems and it sort of again made me feel better! Lol. It was weird as i’ll draw the spotlight onto myself and then when everyone’s taking notice, I’ll panic and get more anxious. Then when the spotlight turned and lit up someone elses life…I felt powerful again? Lol. It’s hard being a glamour puss. 😉

Then I don’t know what happened but we started to talk about our sex lives. Well no, that’s wrong…we started to talk about OUR OWN sensuality and where we RANK ourselves in the ‘how sexy we are‘ in bed stakes.

Mel’s all naughty. She’s a grown ass woman, who wouldn’t think twice at the idea of fur coating it with no undies on, with a wink in her eye and sassy glint of powerhouse.

I love that! As when you’re past your 20’s, you turn from girl to woman and BOY do you embrace it sexually. You enjoy sex more, you enjoy your own body more, you feel more comfortable with being openly sexy and YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE and how to please. You’re less insecure and you know what turns you on. You feel powerful in the bedroom.

I FEEL POWERFUL IN THE BEDROOM.

So when it comes to me, i’m cheeky, but i’m naughty. I embrace my sexuality, love intimacy in general and ooze sensuality. I’m loving, but i’m playful…and being in touch with my little sexy self…I’m confident. I’ll go for it and because I enjoy being sexy….especially with someone that I care about. I adore role play. I love dress up. I love it all. If i didn’t like anything, It would be outside sex. I don’t like to be cold. Lol. (Such a granny.)

I think, as girls…or ladies…we all have our issues, don’t we? ‘The Bedroom’ is not one of mine…It’s a really comfy and really private place for me. It seems like i’d tell you everything when it comes to sex, when I’d really tell you nothing, as the privacy of intimacy is what makes sensuality sexy.

But anyway we were chatting about sex and whether we’d send naughty pictures etc…People shouldn’t get cut up about being sexy or feeling sexy. It winds me up when people judge girls who embrace their sexuality…Sex shouldn’t be taboo. It should be fun. Providing you’re an adult…When you’re a chick…SEX IS BEST WHEN YOU GET INTO YOUR 30’S…FOR BOTH PARTIES.

But yeah, we’re chatting away about all things senusal…

and YOU SHOUDL’VE SEEN FAIRYTAE BLONDS FACE.

Now, Fairytale Blond has got ‘the sexy.’ Whether she embraces it or not, I don’t know? No..that’s not true. I do know. She doesn’t. Lol.

Mel and I are sat girl chatting about all sorts, so openly, like ‘Debbie Does Dallas’ is an episode of The Antiques Road Show and ‘Fairytale Blond’ was sat on her swivel chair, blushing pink with shyness and having to fan her self repeatedly because..

‘Gosh it’s getting a bit hot in here…’

HAHAHAHA!

We all just pissed ourselves laughing. She’s so cute. It’s to die for! I’ve never known anything like it.  She’s so ‘Fairytale.’ We literally had to turn the heat down, so she could pull herself together. Lol. But i know, that she has ‘the sexy‘  in her because she too can quite openly talk about sex…It just makes her blush.

THEN to my left, I noticed Firmonnell. And I know Firmonnell is sexy, because her and her husband used to have a sex step. She enjoys sex, she’ll do sex…but she’s not one to chatter about it. Which is honourable. 🙂 But shit, if you want to know everything.

‘Do you send your hubby nudes?’

(Straight forward question from the girls…Lol)

‘Well i’ve been with him since i was 19. When i was younger..at that time things weren’t so techy. It’d cost us 30p to send a picture message. So no…i’d probably run out of credit!’

HAHAHAHA!

However, after girl talk, sex talk and confidence talk…Something tells me their other halves are now in for surprise sexy treats.