Fridays, Sex & Watermelon Ice Creams…

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Morning! Happy Happy Friday! How ya doing? I posted this picture on my ‘socials’ this morning and it’s caused my inbox to go *bonkers.* I’m not sure why everyone’s so excited? However thank you for the *hearts/likes* and everything inbetween, that i’ve received so far. I appreciate it, as it really does help when you’re trying to build some kind of blogging look at me empire..and I’ll always tell you that i’m grateful, because I’m not daft enough to think that I could do it without your attention.

I actually also got called ‘SO Incredibly DUMB’ by a Lady in Scotland, because I captioned the pic with a..

‘Does this count as my Five a Day?’

Lol. (I found it wedged between the love)

In my defense….I am aware that I’m holding an ICE CREAM and not a piece of fruit. Just in case you didn’t know that?  🙂

*ROLLS EYES.*

AND just because I served my selfie up with boobies, doesn’t mean my brain doesn’t actually work. In fact, quite the contrary… It worked an absolute TREAT for six o clock in the morning and completely sober.

Yipppppppppeeee!

However, I understand that it *rubbed* you up the wrong way… I get it, I mean, what could be more annoying than seeing me in a bikini top and a watermelon ice cream lolly, pining for ‘likes’ as soon as you wake up.

BUT JEEZE. LIGHTEN UP! IT’S FLIPPING FRIDAY! Stop being a Snooze Festival! It’s my JOB!

(A polite way of saying ‘Get lost.’ :)) 

You wore the floral blouse work. I wore the watermelon ice cream…It’s cool. Lol. We can all play nicely together, sing nursery rhymes and hold hands around Cyberland.

Glad we swept that under the glitzy bar table.

I’ve got a ton of phone calls to make today. A ton. Everything’s really busy and tomorrow it’s my gorgeous little girl’s BIRTHDAY, so alongside work, I’m planning her day of delight…as she turns SEVEN!!! I couldn’t be more excited. Family means everything to me. We’ll be headed to Sundown Adventure Land in the morning…and HOPEFULLY IT WON’T BE FLIPPING FREEZING, because the kids are gonna force me to ‘water ride’ this, ‘kiddie rollercoaster’ that….and every inch of me will be a ‘shiver.’

(The thought of it alone, has given me a runny nose.)

But yes, lots of work. Loving it. Very lucky. (I’m also trying to get back into shape, as I have shoot galore. Probably should’ve listened to the Scottish chick and not had an ice cream for breakfast.) 

I had ace banter with my chick friend last night, in regards to sex and how I guess all women do actually need it. As you sail into your 30’s you kinda enjoy a bit of ‘ooh laa,’ a great deal more than you ever did in your 20’s. I don’t know what happens?

I’m naturally sensual anyway and I never apologize for that. And I couldn’t be with anyone that I didn’t have great ‘bedroom’ chemistry with….as I couldn’t live with a lifetime of really shit sex. It’s an important part to a relationship and or even a marriage. The rest of the ‘happily ever after’ just seems to happen naturally. (In most cases. Lol)

Then this morning another chick friend of mine…

(Sorry, I’m just looking out my window because I have an 11am meeting to get to with ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Magazine and someones BLOCKED MY CAR IN….)

Anyway, one of my chicks friends is off on a Tinder Date. (I hate Tinder. But I do love that ages ago, a bunch of my guys friends had ‘liked’ so many chicks on it, that a message popped up on their phones stating that there were literally NO MORE CHICKS left for them to like.. in their area. They had ‘OUT LIKED’ Tinder itself.One of them was Nick…Who is back on Take Me Out tomorrow night…because he was one of the best boys to ever be on the show. Don’t forget to watch him.) 

But yes, one of my chick friends, who shall remain nameless, is off on a Tinder Date shortly and before this date she had to check in with me this morning to decipher if he was someone I actually knew, or just a ‘Wunna Superfan?’ ( I think he was on one of my friends lists? I don’t know. I have no clue who he is? Lol. If you have my Snapchat, or Insta you’ll know what she said… I can’t repeat it.. But it ended with…

Chick: ‘If he asked me to dress up as you, i’m leaving.’

She’s hilarious! I love her. She also quenched my ego and you’ve got to love that, as I’m certainly a big headed swine. I like to play like i’m humble at times, Lol…But I do now think, i’m quite an ego maniac. It’s disgraceful.

I love how weird dates can make you feel right? I always get nervous…I hope they fall madly in love….

Right, this is short but sweet, as I’ve got a lot of work to get through and a meeting to be at in 30 minutes.

 

Love you lots.

Thank you for following my life.

Chrissie x

See you on on ‘Socials.’ 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loyalty, Life & Male Models

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Me: ‘He doesn’t fancy you because you’re a swimmer & he’s a male model.’

Vanny B: ‘But he should. I can swim places. I have trophies and shit.

Me: ‘Male models, are surrounded by female models ALL DAY, for work. They’re in an industry littered with the most beautiful women, and they themselves are classed as the most handsome men. Every single male model I know…has a model wife….not a swimming one. Lol.’

Vanny B: ‘But i’m in a dress…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but if SHE wore that dress, she’d look all petite, delicate and fragile. She where’s it well, because it’s her job. Throw HER, in a pool…She ain’t gonna out swim you. But whocares. Men aren’t arsed about about swim offs. They don’t pick wives on their swimming ability. I even bet that some professional male swimmers date models. Haha.’

Vanny B: ‘There are times when I love you, but today you’re such a bitch. Lol.’

I’m sassy today. But comfy! I had to take my jeans off and blog in just knickers and a top, with my legs in a sitting down ‘v’ shape and my pink laptop placed centrally inbetween. I felt all tight ans stuffly and to me that’s the worst feeling ever. I need to feel loose and comfy, in order to smash out a badass blog.

I’ve had to drag myself off instagram because it’s unhealthy for out souls. Obviously, my job is to be ‘social.’ I’m a blogger…a model…blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, I have to post daily and be all over it. YET, you can drive yourself nuts by trailing through everyone’s profiles. We waste so much time focusing on what other people are up to. We can get SO carried away and creative with it. It’s not always good. Now I just ‘post,’ leave it and ‘Thank’ the people who have taken the time to write me a comment.

(I always do that, because firstly I think it’s good manners and secondly…i’m far from stuck up. Nothing is worse to me, than stuck up talent. If you take away all the people who take the time to ‘Like/Comment/or Heart’ your content ‘socially’….then you no longer have an audience, you no longer have a social presence & you no longer have as much clout. And we’re in and still headed into a social generation. Your biggest stars of the future, WILL BE, your SOCIAL stars.

Like Gary V said, ‘Everyone thought that the TV star would never surpass the radio star….People were 10 years behind. Look what happened…It’s now the same with TV stars and Social Media stars….Start building your online business now. It doesn’t matter what field you are in…you can turn it ‘social.’

I’ve gone on a ramble. I do that! It’s shit. What was I gonna say? I got a great Snapchat from the girls this morning…filled with ‘whispers’ and giggles. I love being a girl, it’s so cute.

I’m having a decent day today. I’m checking through all my collabos and going through the ones that are well suited. It’s exciting. Lots of  ‘anti ageing’ skincare is coming my way. Lol. I’ve got the BMC email which is owned by the delighted Saffron Drewitt Barlow and Venom, which came via ‘Diags’ from Towie.

I also have shoots for brands, shoots for content and shoots for kicks. What am I on about? Nothing is for kicks.

What you need to know is that I’m loving it. I have the best job in the world, because all i’m doing is my own life…and it’s a business now. Lol.

I had really great ‘messaging‘ last night before bed and when you ‘happy message’ before bed..be it chipper or sexy…It’s always delightful. I’m naturally sexy and naturally chipper.  It helps you have the most blissful 40 winks, doesn’t it. I like going to be bed feeling somewhat adored…All of us do… We sleep better.

It kinda made me flash backed some of the moments, that we had shared, then I realized that a whole year had almost passed. That’s crazy!

He actually received meal time selfies from Wunna Land yesterday. I mean, who wouldn’t adore me, right!?! 😉 I’m fun. It’s all exciting.

But, being smart… I take everything with a ‘pinch of salt’ until I have it in my hand. (Even though I wear my heart on my sleeve.) I just don’t wanna get let down and look stupid…AGAIN. Lol.

I mean there’s always things like ‘loyalty’ and ‘thoughtfulness‘ that I always try and look for. To me, they’re things that go without saying and I’m the most loyal human. Flirty, but loyal.

It’s just something you witness over time, isn’t it…

Right, I need to get out and about and shoot some more content. It’s the most gorgeous afternoon in Yorkshire today.

I’m feeling really lucky.

Kisses,

Chrissie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boys Night, Dating Tips & Auditions…

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Really busy time, so i’m gonna have to bustle through this. I have a ‘dashy’ weekend ahead, which means schedules, train times, those Wunna Land bits of ‘showbizziness’ and…as always… life to conquer. I’ll do it. I always do. And right now, I never felt more confident. I try not to waste time looking over at what other people are doing (I used to do that a lot, it’s human nature…we all get a little nervy.)

However, instead, I’m now just focusing on MY land..WUNNA LAND. If you give something 100 percent…and you’re good at what you do, there is absolutely NO WAY in the jeepers, that you will not succeed.

Luckily, my job right now, is the art of  just ‘BEING ME.’ So, if I balls that up, then there’s no help for me. Nor is there enough wine to settle my soul.

I ended up on ‘boys night’ at Ego the other night. I did ‘Girls Night’ didn’t I, last Saturday? I’m one of those chicks who has a great mix of friends, be they girls, boys, young, old….The mix is a ‘jiggle’ but it’s great.

I love boys night. Not as much as girls night, as boys night is far more reserved…My chick friends and I literally tell each other EVERYTHING…and we don’t care, we’ll pour it all out, the good with the bad, with the ugly. Boys are less ‘drama’ and they keep their secrets to themselves…M guy friends are open, yet their level of ‘openess’ is carefully monitored by their pride and sense of masculinity.

(Aside from ‘Jonesez’ he’s like a girl and will cry out his problems over a cocktail, with me.)

But yes, I met Webbo, Dipper and Jonesez for dinner and drinks. They were ‘after work’ suited and booted and then I sort of just flounced in a bit late, all a beam, smiles and with a…

‘Two for One margaritas with a salted rim please!’

I am all about a salted rim. 🙂

We chatted, we caught up, they slagged other boys off and they drilled me about ‘the girls.’

‘What were they saying about us?’

‘What did she say about ME?’

‘Who’s best in bed out of…?’

‘Do they like me? I bet they slagged me off?’

‘Yeah, but honestly…gang bangs are gross…’

‘Why does he always come in and touch me…Don’t man slap me!!’

‘I’m not arsed me, I’ve just said i’m sharing with someone else…’

‘I love it when you get your nipple out on your selfies Wunna.’

‘Shall we eat. I’m starving..’

‘It’s not my fault..You picked her!’

‘Are you honestly still obsessing?’

‘Why are the dudes on your Facebook always asking to marry you?’

‘Yeah, but our Girls night isn’t sweet and lame. We don’t plait each others hair to Boyband tunes. We’re all SASSY…it’s hardcore.’

‘Why have you stopped getting cocktails Wunna?’

‘Stop trying to get me pissed.’

The thing about ‘Boys Night’ is that there is always a boys code…and even though i’m a chick, having all guy friends in LA…I know the code…It’s kinda like ‘Girl Code,’ but you don’t have to remind them not to say anything. ( I do prefer the drama of a ‘Girls Night’…and mainly because i’m a girl. Yet, I am sizzled over with a BOYS sense of inappropriate humour….I don’t care…It’s hilarious. So yes, boys night was ace! I know some great guys!)

BOY CODE, SAVE AS!

I’m currently sat with a half a Peroni, at The Carleton trying to smash out this blog. I was on a phone audition all last night. I had one through the afternoon and then I had to shoot, followed my bambinos and reply to all my ‘socials.’

At the same time, I was going back and forth on email with my agent…and it was all pretty manic. I’m having a really busy time, but i’m loving it. I’m really enjoying and i’m enjoying it because I do what I love.

I have noticed that I don’t like ‘fuss.’ I like everything to be taken care of…with no ‘fuss.’ I don’t like the ‘faffiness’ of projects…I just like to get on with things. That’s when it comes to work and dating….

This is actually a really good tip for guys..

GIRLS DO NOT LIKE FUSS…WE WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF SHIT…

Like, if you were to ask us out on a date…We’d prefer if it you took charge, stood up all manly and just said…

‘Right, are you free… on this date….to do this…? Great! I’ll pick you up at *this time…’

(And you organised everything, so we can just get dolled up, enjoy the night and adore you. That’s how it works. So, it’s not just when are you free? It’s…’Are you free on…? Great…I’ll pick you up at..’ It’s gentlemanly.)

In the past, whenever i’ve had to organise a man, i’ve hated it. I’m a ‘Girl Boss,’ I love it when a guy takes care of the little things. It’s thoughtful. They take the stress away from you.

I actually remember being sat at the Coffee Bean, outside in the sun, in West Hollywood, by the Beverly Center. I used to go there every morning.

This guy, with shoulder length blond hair and sunglasses, who was also a model, called ‘Berlin,’ used to sit with me and chat life, each morning…I remember how schooled he was in the art of dating…But I guess the LA boys are, because they do it so much and they do it well. They can’t treat a girl badly on a date, because the ‘show of it all’ is SO important in Hollywood…plus ALL THE GIRLS TALK. You get a bad rep…no girl with touch you.

Berlin: ‘Well, I just text her and told her that i’d love to do dinner with her at ‘Koi,’ tomorrow night and that i’d pick her up at 7pm…and because it was all sorted for her…she just said. I didn’t give her time to think. Lol. Chicks like to have everything organised for them.’

Then we’d go on our auditions for the day. But he was right! Lord knows what he’s up to now?

Anyway, I really do need to go…So sorry for the quickie blog ;)..but sometimes ‘quickies’ are awesome!

Busy, busy weekend ahead!

Hope you loved today’s selfies…

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Thank you for following my diary.

Chrissie x

 

Dreams Come True, Success & My Sassy Little Fan Page

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I was driving through Badsworth, this morning, the air was fresh..a little nippy, yet weirdly warm. The January skies were filled with a wistful smokiness…a lightness of glee, that glistened with beams of bright whiteness. The sun was calm, yet radiated over my little patch of Yorkshire, with a burst of strength that could only ever be described as happiness.

Right now, I feel like the happiest and the luckiest girl in the world. I might not have everything, but what I do have is just amazing. We kinda spend so much time stressing over the things that we DON’T HAVE, that we forget to really look, step back and appreciate the things that WE DO HAVE going on in our lives, don’t we?

However, saying that…Please do LIVE, take chances and gambles where it’s worth it and only do the things that make your heart bloom with passion. If you’re stuck in something that isn’t right, that isn’t gonna get you, to that place where you finally sit back, kick off ya shoes, breathe and relax with happiness… Then it’s not worth it.

You’ll know if somethings right, because you’ll feel it. Your gut instinct is the most powerful tool you have. You’ll know if somethings right because you’ll love it, you’ll feel passion for it…be it a job, a lifestyle…or someone you care about…and that passion will never ever go away…

Life will always lead you right back there….Right back to it…Right back to them….

So, yes…RIGHT NOW, I might not have everything, my heart ever wished for, but still, i’m the luckiest and happiest kitten in the world. I’ll get there, when i’m meant to…

I’ve worked hard through my life and GOD, so much has happened! Bad shit! GREAT SHIT. It’s been filled with swashes of madness and ‘colour’…I’ve had the most remarkable ‘UP’s,’ the most hilarious ‘downs’ and  the most unbelievable ‘samba’ of achievements.

Right now, it feels like it’s only just the beginning….and I have no clue why, as i’ve been knocking about for ages! Lol. I’m not someone who doesn’t feel accomplished. I’m happy with my ‘tick sheet.’ I’m loving my time back here. I adored growing up in LA. Entertainment has been my life, my passion and because.. good or bad, it a job that makes people ‘feel’ and I love that.

I always tell you when i’m not doing well. I write this diary honestly. I might miss out bits, that I keep to myself personally, yet over an ‘almost’ decade, I’ve pretty much told you everything.

I’ll tell you now…

I’m doing REALLY WELL..

..and i’ve always done alright…Right now, I’m doing really well.

Finally at 37, that Wunna ship is magically a sailing and I am celebrating merrily, with cocktails and a shocked ‘can’t even believe it’ face. I took a chance on a new chapter…and I proved to myself that only doing the things that make you happy is where your success lies. Dreams come true!

SO, I’LL WELCOME YOU TO WUNNA LAND.

MY LAND.

Bring a bottle… 😉

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Why do I keep being so ‘preachy?’ I guess, i’m feeling motivational? I think it’s because I read Tila Tequila’s moronic speech on how homophobia, porn and all people who wear makeup should perish in hell. It’s apparently ‘sorcery’…the ‘Devils’ work and she then went on to state how happy she would be, if everyone of the above ‘label’ DIED She proudly states that she says prayers wishing for that to happen… every single night…

Erm…? That’s not really polite, now is it? Nice and cheery! Good work Tila! What an idiot!

It just made me realise that when you have a voice, an audience….it’s really important to use that voice positively, in good humour, or in hope to inspire…where no harm is caused.

I get that she’s been through a hard time in life. I get it. Infact I know exactly what she’s been through. I know what LA Life is like, I know what being in the glamour modelling industry is like. I know what entertainment is like…I get it. But that girl,  has completely lost her mind and needs help….Needs love. I’m just not in the mood to give her any…. 🙂

I probably need a wine to chill my ‘high horse’ a second. But when horses are high, you might as well stay saddled.

(Saddled? Is that a thing? I know nothing about horses?? I only know that my Mum used to take me horse riding on Saturday’s when I was 7, until I gave it up for dancing school…and the ONLY OTHER time a horse came into my life, was when I accidentally found my LA roommates ‘porn drawer.’ He had a whole DVD dedicated to hot chicks having sex with horses…? He was a lawyer… 🙂 ) 

Thank you for all the love, i’m getting on my ‘socials.‘ I love the Wunna Fan Page banter on Facebook. There’s tons of gents that we leave me messages all day and i’m grateful for it, as i love it when people engage with that I’m doing…Yet, my REAL LIFE guy friends, who are WONDERFUL and who i’ve known since I was a teenager…have started ‘chirping in’ when they believe that the people looking into Wunna land,‘ are in sudden need of acold, COLD shower.’

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I think ‘Reuben’ once gave someone a lesson in chat up lines and referred to someone as a bit of a ‘perv.’  ‘Tomfri’ (only yesterday) gave someone a spelling test…and also decided to make sure ‘Jase the Wunna fan‘ knew his chat up line was less than ‘champion..’

‘Tom Pinto :  @Jase Tennant Smooth as Egyptian whiskey mate…’

My Facebook fanpage is brilliant. I spend my entire day on it replying to everyone…It needs it’s own show…without me in it! I have the best fans…They’re just such characters. They’re great! They even get into their own verbal fights in my comment stream…and I have to tell them to ‘play nicely.’ Everyone’s really complimentary…and i’m not gonna lie…It’s kinda a nice thing to wake up to and read every morning.

It makes me smile…

Every morning before 9am, I feel SO appreciated after a good old ‘comment read’ session. It’s a good way to start your day. It could be worse…and I know that from experience. So, I’m not complaining. I’m enjoying it!

I feel freee….

Right, I’m headed to bed now…It’s my Mum’s birthday in the morning, I’ve got a bunch of photos to post online and a jimble fo collabos to read through….I have a shoot tomorrow and I’ve got to get sorted for an audition, that I’m excited for!

Dreams come true. Miracles happen. Examples of such are around us constantly. They’re happening every single minute of every single day!

Notice them happening and know that it can happen to you toooo!

Kisses,

Chrissie

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Robot Husbands, Sex & Miracles..

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Today has been one of those ‘miracle‘ kinda days. I haven’t been able to believe the luck that i’ve had, but i’ve been so grateful for it. I was little galloping around, doing *happy* dances, to no music and total strangers…who definitely now think i’m a lunatic.

I kinda started being positive, after a couple days of feeling worried (cos we do get worried don’t we?) Yet, just like magic, with a *wangle* of a wand and a little bit of a *wink*CONSECUTIVELY amazing things just started to happen….one at a time…ALL morning and hopefully. I even had a prosecco and let my eyes ‘fill up’ a little with glee.

Things aren’t always shit. Remember that. So if you’re going through a case of ‘da blues’ and I really hope you’re not…always remember it IS TEMPORARY. 

You’ve got a whole life to live and no one to answer to.

LIVE IT!

So, I’ve got a lot of shoots lined up and it’s all really exciting. I’m writing. I’m loving the blog and well i’m a ‘show girl’ at heart, meaning shoots are my forte. I love them. I live them…I just find it really fun.

(Hang on a second…I’ve just sat on a pocket rock. No…not a ‘pocket rocket,..’ 😉 that’s a whole different blog post… Junior..The littlest Wunna in all the land…my 4 year old son…Well, he gave every WUNNA in the family a rock , a stone each. They’re ones that he had found on his journies of being Junior. We all actually carry a rock around with us, at ALL times for good luck…I’ve just sat on mine. It’s jiggery jaggery and it KILLS!) 

This morning, I posted a whole bunch of photos and a video on all my ‘socials’ on me waking up…I’m not gonna lie. I did film it yesterday to post out today. I even sent it to someone last night before it went ‘live.’ Lol.

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Anyway, before 11am (it’s now noon) on my Facebook Fanpage the video had 13,000 views. And the thing that’s been so hilarious about the video is the simple fact that it weirdly shocked people?

I post a lot of pictures…sexy ones…because they’re MY favourite. I post them…People seem to like them, they certainly engage with them and I spend my entire day replying to comments (mainly to gents) around the merry world.

I put my pictures up first and the viewers of Wunna Land, went ahead and ‘liked‘…they ‘commented…’ they ‘engaged.’ It’s always pretty fast on my Facebook..almost like fire….which leads them to a ‘click’ onto my diary, this website…so they can find out more.

But as I posted my video, it was like everything *paused* for a second…Everyone tucked their ‘willies’ back in… put on their Sunday bests, got terrified, realized that I AM actually a REAL LIFE human. and not just a picture on their news feed, or a paragraph on a blog post, that they ‘maybe’ place as some kind of ‘social fantasy….’ (Hahaha. Listen to me talking about myself like i’m some kinda Queen of the world 😉 )

…AND THEY PANICKED.

It all became very real, very quickly…and my inbox has been inundated with the weirdest messages, from people who were shocked that i’m real???

I’M SO CONFUSED?

Who’dya think writes this blog? Lol

I post my own selfies…IT IS ME?

I just thought everyone was going to adore me…Lol…Yet, everyone was more shocked, than anything. And the video’s just morning ‘wake up and stretch’ video? It’s chilled. It’s glamourous. It’s me. (It’s also on my ‘Instagram’ so you can go see it there. 🙂 🙂 Follow me too, because growing an instagram following is harder than...(‘I’ll let you fill in something hard, I can’t think of anything right now…’

But yes, record straight. I’m actually a real life person. I know! How scary! No ones even talking to me today on ‘Insta’...like Twitter…. I’ll just have to wait until the American’s wake up and throw me some..

‘Hey Honey, Love the pics.’

I don’t really have anything else to say, other than the fact that you should totally believe in miracles. I’ve had the most remarkable morning. Eat clean. I’ve been eating ‘fresher than fresh’ and it has served my body delightfully. It’s the cleanest, sexiest rush of goodness. I’m glowing.

I’m also getting really worried because y’know I told you about that woman who married the ghost pirate because he didn’t believe she would ever find a good man….Well, last week i read an article that Robot Husbands were going on sale, so we can purchase and program our futures as women.

Now, I love all social development and I adore the amazing things that the world delivers,

YET, LET’S NOT BE IDIOTS.

Let’s find our *SWAG* a second. (Yes guys, there’s Robot Wives also.)

Surely everyone knows that love isn’t about robots and programming? Surely everyone believes that in the end, they’ll find their perfect match.It’s all about fate, timing and true love. Some find it faster than others…but it’s definitely not a race. Surely everyone in the world is NOT THAT LONELY!!!

I mean can you imagine ME, in my flipping living room listening to some Robot Husband, that i’ve had to get dressed and plonk on some chair, telling me that he ‘loves’ me, whilst we enjoy a homemade skinny cocktail together and watch ‘Dancing on Ice,’ as the kids look at me like i’ve finally COMPLETELY LOST THE PLOT. I mean they’re already like..

Ruby: ‘Can’t wait until I’m married and move to LA, so you don’t moan at me for not going to bed on time.. When are we gonna have a proper family…’

Junior: ‘If you ever get a Prince…Like a real daddy…don’t let him touch your boobs, cos they’re mine.’

And then even worst….when it comes to the ‘nookie’ part of the relationship…The part that as a 37 year old I actually adore. I’m sensual by nature…

CAN YOU IMAGINE ME, HAVING TO UNDRESS MY BLOODY ROBOT, DO SEXY EYES AND BECKONS AT HIM, (whilst he just sits there spewing out his..‘yeah baby you’re hot’ lines that i’ve programmed into him

… AND THEN HAVING TO CLAMBER ON TOP OF HIM FOR SEX. YES WITH MY REAL LIFE ROBOT HUSBAND…

WHAT THE ACTUAL…

Wunna land says it’s a no go….

I even had a conversation with my chick friend ‘Jilly G’ about it..

Jilly G: ‘It’s just like a man shaped dildo.’

Me: ‘No it’s fucking not. It’s not a dildo AT ALL. It has eyes. Creepy ROBOT EYES. My dildo’s don’t have eyes? Do yours?

Jilly G: ‘No..Lol..They don’t speak either..’

Me: ‘Oh? I might have one that speaks? Haha.’

Bottom line…I’ll wait it out, marry a ghost pirate, order 100 cats and cry myself to sleep before I EVER INVEST IN A ROBOT HUSBAND.

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

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Passings, Drama & Screensavers…

Things were quite emotional in Wunna Land today. I’m feeling strong and the best thing about feeling tough, is that you don’t give the *niggly bits* importance.

I was meant to head a little bit ‘down south’ today…However, due to life, two schedules couldn’t ‘tango’ as one. I hope they do shortly and…I hope it is JUST schedules and not anything more? But you can’t control the way two paths cross, you can only control you part of the jiggle…and sometimes even then….you kinda have to leave shit to rum.

But I’m happy and i’m the luckiest girl in all the land.

However, again…I was meant to head a little ‘southern,’ today but didn’t and ‘the didn’t part made me realise that sometimes things & situations time out exactly, how they’re meant to.

So, my Grandmother passed over Christmas. I wrote a blog about it and as a family, we all decided to still enjoy the festive season and fully LIVE LIFE….because we watched it slip through someone’s fingers….

Today, my Mum needed me. She’s hard as nails is my Mum, her heart is kitten soft, but she’s found this time quite difficult, yet marched on positively.

The wonderful thing about today, is that she didn’t say that she needed me, i just knew she needed me….and at the last minute, after a school run…I found her, parked up my car, jumped in hers and went with her, to go see my Grandmother’s body laid to rest.

Now, I am THE MOST SQUEAMISH, human being on the planet. I like to thing i’m all sass and ‘boss’ like, yet OH MY GOD, I’ll go through the ‘fandango’ if I have too, but I’ll flitter and screech. I’ll run for the hills barefoot and naked if I have tooo!  I’m brave like that. 🙂 You can count on me to save your life.

(I have my First Aid certificate and when a lady, who had cut OPEN her ACTUAL finger and needed the glamourous ‘FIRST AIDER’ to come to the rescue…I screamed, cried, ran off, had a panic attack and had to get a police man to save her. Lol)

Today, I had walked side by side, with my Mum, to go see my Grandma, who is no longer with us in soul, yet we had to walk into a room and see her body, dressed and laid….for the first time since her passing.

I’ve never done or seen anything like this in my life. I’m even having to breathe OUT, whilst telling you the story..and i’m gonna tell you that initially when the door opened….I panicked…I panicked….My brother panicked and had to run back to the car to breathe. Yet I stood there with my mum. My face blank and arms crossed.  (They say when you stand with your arms crossed you’re either feeling closed off, or insecure, even if you’re stood with a face as hard as nails.)

But I looked to my left and my Mum, who is the strongest person alive…filled up with tears…tears that she tried to control…..She cries, but only when she’s really upset…She doesn’t like to cry in front of me. I never know why?

We both slowly walk up to where my Grandma was laid, fully clothed, ready for Friday and I stood and watched my Mum say her final private words to her…..

Mum: ‘I need to pull myself together…It’s bad luck to cry…’

(We’re an Oriental family…and their are traditions that run through the Burmese…sacred ones, that are magical and enchanting. There’s a respect.)

Me: You can cry mum. She’s passed now. Her souls happy and gone…this is just her body..’

I said it soft, direct, yet warm and made no eye contact with my Mum…and in that moment she let go and cried….

In that moment, I wasn’t her daughter…I was her best friend.

In that moment, I couldn’t have felt stronger, happier and like I had felt and done all the right things, at all the right times…Everything felt really REAL. It was like a magic swirled around us and like the meaning of life hit our hearts.

It wasn’t a morbid time…I don’t want you to think that. It was a warm time, It was filled with support, unconditional love, true friendship, family and blessings.

My Mum smiled like she was going to be okay now. (My Mum’s actually a Doctor, so seeing a body laid to rest isn’t something that gets to her, like it would me…. But of course seeing someone who you love, laid their still, yet peacefully is always a little shocking.)

We said our final farewells. My Grandmother looked so beautiful. My Mother looked so beautiful. I overcame a really big fear…and I can’t tell you what because even though i’m telling you a lot about the moment, there’s a whole lot of emotion that I have chosen to leave out, out of respect.

But I overcame something huge today and as we walked away….we both breathed out and got on with our day, our life, with a much clearer understanding to the way the world works.

I’m never gonna spend another moment of my life unhappy, or unfilled, i’m gonna love everything close to me, with all of my heart. I’m gonna LIVE. I’m gonna make every single dream I have COME TRUE.

I’m gonna make sure that I am always loyal to my own beliefs and to never sell myself short, or let others treat me without care or disrespect. I’m gonna be the greatest MUM, that I can be…I’m gonna smash my career to the skies and back. I’m gonna love. I’m always gonna be the best version of myself. I’m will continue to cut out ‘the negative’ and simply because I don’t have time for it.

A friend of mine was being really negative towards me last night and I just thought ‘fuck this…’ and deleted the ‘chat‘ as their ramblings were drenched in melodrama…because they didn’t feel important in my world anymore….

What I can tell you from that conversation, is to make sure that YOU DO NOT TAKE ADVICE from people…WHO DO NOT KNOW your world, or what they’re talking about….

Me: ‘Stop speaking to me like i’m 17 and dumb…’

Friend: ‘I’m not. I actually think you’re really smart. You obviously don’t know me at all. We’re meant to be friends! Everything i’m saying to you is out of love…’

Me: ‘No it’s NOT. It’s about YOU…Not me. I’m fine. I’m happy. I’m doing well! I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come at me like that…’

Bottom line…I don’t give them advice on their world or how to do their life…So, trying to control my world and my life, when you know nothing about the ‘ins’ the ‘outs’ or the inbetweens….is pretty silly. If I need advice…I’ll ask. And friends aren’t meant to judge me, i’m sure???

But yes…that happened. Lol.

However, the rest of the day went on spritely as normal…It was a great day. I’ve laughed. I’ve jiggled. I’ve worked really hard. I have a few auditions coming up and unlike most…I don’t really prep for them…I just ‘canon ball’ in with my fingers crossed, giving it the old ‘Wunna Land.’ I’m a really lucky girl and when that’s dashed with charm, you’re alright. 😉 I’m juggling really normal things glamourously and i’m on top of it now…I’m even doing the school runs!! I never got to do the school runs before, due to the wrong kinda of schedule.

Lisa: ‘Hiya! How are you. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages..but i’ve seen a lot of you…Lol.’

Me: ‘Lol…yeah I’ve been ‘attention’ building on Facebook.. So there’s boobs everywhere…But I love it. It’s fun.’

Lisa: ‘You’re not doing any harm…go for it. Hahah.’

Then we strutted to the necessary parts of the childrens school playground to pick up our ‘little ones.’

A lot is going on right now.

All good stuff and hopefully my wishes upon stars will all come true. But i’m working on it…I’m working hard.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAD FUN WITH MY COMPETITION AND MADE ME THEIR SCREENSAVER FOR THE DAY!

Every single person who sent me a screenshot will be receiving a personalized picture from me. ALL OF YOU. I’m shooting the pics at the weekend, so you should get them on Sunday, methinks. So do not fret if you haven’t got your picture yet!! They’re coming! I’ve just been busy and If i’m honest, I didn’t actually realize how many of you would take part! I have a very busy weekend of picture taking. Lol.

I appreciate it so much. It shows that there’s still tons of you who love to have fun! But i’m a woman of my word…so your pics will be with you, by Sunday.

It was meant to be in this blog, where I announce the winner….who will recieve a video message! However, due to sudden circumstance today, where my Mum really needed me….it will be in TOMORROW’S BLOG!

So watch out for it!

I love you all so much!

Thank you.

FYI/ Thursday’s pics…are GOOOOD! I love them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Writers Block, Jiggles & That Little Bit Of Saffron

Dear Diary,

I have CRAZY WRITERS BLOCK! It’s awful! I mean, so much has gone on in the last few days, the last few weeks..that I don’t even know where to begin? I’ve been through changes. Great changes and i’m exactly where I want to be. Yet, I guess changes are always alarming on the old kitty system at first, aren’t they? Well until you get used to them.

It can be new starts, new chapters, new cities, new jobs, new relationships, new friends, new anything…They’re all great…Yet your soul jiggles about a bit, until you feel settled. Once you do settle…you become alive…you’re on fire. So, like myself, if you’re experiencing anything NEW, know that you’re fine, it’s good for you and when the ‘Jiggles’ settle, you’ll be dandy as prosecco pour!

HURRAH!

I have writers block.

I don’t know if it’s because my heads a bit of a muddle, like I said so much has gone on, all wonderful, yet still alarming? But my brain needs to *bloom* and hurry up with the blooming process…Lol, as right now it’s a bud and it’s closed tight!

All I know is that i’m happy. So that’s good going, isn’t it! And I haven’t done Dry January..and that’s also good going. 🙂  Everyone seems to have committed to it. Yet, I can’t strap myself ‘down’ to ‘don’t.’ My will power is amazing. It’s a gift from the Girl Gods. Yet, if I fancy a vino at 7pm after a long day, I’ll have one, be it January, Wednesday or Life.

Dry Jan IS GOOD FOR YOU. So, if you’re tinkering along with *can can* kicks…WELL DONE! Enjoy being healthier. It’s fantastic.

Oh and if you still have you Christmas Tree up..TAKE IT DOWN (I’ve just seen that my chick friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ hasn’t bothered to move her ‘tinsel tree’just yet. She should. Or at least get her buff boyfriend too!

I’ve got so much to tell you. Good news arrived on Thursday. Really great career news. I have all the most wonderful collaborations, that you’ll slowly see *oozing* through Wunna Land, but I have writers block…and it’s CRAZY! I HATE IT!

BLOOM BRAIN, BLOOM!

I still haven’t even told you about my time in London with Top LA Chef Ronnie Woo. (He’s one of my best guy friends, we grew up together in LA and when he flew out to London in December to shimmie in ‘she ma bestie bestie‘ Wunna Land, we literally had the BEST time together…even though his executive suite had a random ‘cage like’ upstairs level.

Ronnie: ‘I don’t see the point to it? There’s not even a view?’

Me: ‘It’s like a bouji cage. I love it. I’m stuck in a bouji cage.’

Ronnie: ‘Let’s go take selfies and get lunch…’

[Passes me a pink champers that he had brought back from Vienna.]

But, I’ll get around to that blog.

If I go back to that evening… when I left his suite around five o clock in the evening, so he could spend some quality time with his beautiful husband Doug…. I remember being stood outside Le Meridien (the hotel,) in Piccadilly, at the busiest time possible, on the other side of the glass revolving doors, as London traffic bustled by and the skies were now navy as they turned our world to night. Stars littered the skies above me. Taxi headlights and horns flashed by and *beeped.*

I was on my phone (what a surprise) and there was a guy, who I guessed was here on business from New Jersey stood to my left..just sort of wandering around and in front of me was a random 20 something, lost, Spanish girl, who had stopped to see if I could call her also ‘lost’ boyfriend, because her phone had run out of charge.

IT’S ANNOYING WHEN YOU HAVE NO CHARGE.

Of course, I helped. I’m helpful. I try to be anyhow. Sometimes, I’m shocking at being helpful. But most of the time, I help. I had to take his number down, add it to my Whatsapp contacts and then message him, before calling him, to tell him where his girlfriend was. Lol.

She’s Spanish, lost in London and needs help. I’m a glamour puss, found in London and helping.

A bit of a ball ache, but nonetheless, I’d hope someone woud help me, if I needed help?

I’d also ordered an Uber..So I waiting for my car to arrive. That’s why I was stood outside. Of course, my Uber driver called..and the Spanish girl, her name was Carmen, thought it was her boyfriend, so answered my phone…

In fact now I remember..the Uber driver said the word, ‘Car’….and we assumed that he said ‘Carmen.’ He had called from some weird number. She spoke to him in Spanish…whilst walking away slightly… on my phone. See, i’m SO TRUSTING!

When she got back, I read a text stating that my Uber had got cancelled because I wasn’t at my pick up point, I got charged for that…and Her boyfriend magically appeared out of nowhere…

YIPPPEEE!

So yes, she was safe and I had to order another Uber back to the station. (During this time, I had my agent and my London friends all calling my phone continuously to try and meet up..)

Me: ‘Erm..Hi…Yeah, I’m kind of a little stressed out right now…I’ll call you back.’

Other end of phone: ‘But when are you back in London?’

Me: NEVER! Lol.’

Agent: ‘Hi, it’s me..I’ve submitted you for this and I need you to go meet…’

Me: ‘I need a gin.’

Then the New Jersey business man to my left, had noticed that I had been somewhat thoughtful, decided that I was ‘kind’..

‘I saw that you were kind..’

…and had also decided that I was definitely the girl of his dreams. He offered to buy me gin at the hotel bar. He plays ice hockey also, or something? It was just moment, upon moment of ‘craziness.’

YET, the best part of that whole day, other than seeing one of my oldest friends from LA, was the fact that there was a moment outside Le Meridien, where I was stood on my own, just looking through my Snapchat story.

I was WEEING MYSELF at how funny Ronnie & I had been all day!

(I actually really can’t tell you many Ronnie stories, as they’re secret secrets and his brand is much ‘cleaner’ than Wunna land. Lol. He was sick. I wasn’t. He’s back in LA now and just cooked for a whole bunch of celebrities, across the pond in Hollywood and on the telly. There you go.)

But yes, the best moment, was the moment, when I stood outside the hotel, immersed in the  busy London life….(Everyone dashed passed me, like they needed to be home immediately) and well I must’ve looked really HAPPY, because I had accidentally been LAUGHING OUT LOUD, at MY OWN Snapchat Story and I must’ve been laughing so hard (YES, i WAS BUY MYSELF AND LOOKED LIKE A LUNATIC..A GLAMOUROUS LUNATIC) because two middle aged gentleman, both business men, both dapper, both gay, both looked really important….walked up to me, like they had known me for years, saw me, stopped their ‘busy’ and said,

‘LET’S HAVE A LOOK….What are you watching?’

And just like that, we were all STOOD around my phone, for a good fifteen minutes, pissing ourselves and watching my Snapchat story.

It was a really good moment and it shows that laughter brings people together. All of us together. It’s contagious. And yeah, I know that sounds cliched, like I make cherry pies in dodgy gingham pinnies and sell them for tuppence, over the magical ‘pot of gold’ rainbow…But i’m not that way, I’m sassy. So, what i’m saying is…I mean it. 😉

Me: ‘It was total Cage Life!!’

Business Men: ‘Hahah….You are the cutest thing ever! We should grab a drink! Who’s he? He’s HOT. How do I know you?’

Moments make memories…

I’m doing alright for Writers block right now!

ANYWAY…

I’m currently sat in my car with a pink laptop on my knee, in a Little mistress Faux Fur, typing this blog out on WORD. I’ve been trying to blog for days! So any opportunity that I get to AT LEAST attempt to ‘chitter…’ I embrace.

It hasn’t worked until right now.

I have going on this week. I’ve been reading about little Saffron Drewitt Barlow, who is celebrating worldwide headlines, due to being the FIRST EVER little lady, to be registered as having TWO FATHERS and NO mother, in Britain…and I LOVE IT!! She’s 18 now and is the luckiest girl in the world.  She’s owning it! She has a wardrobe worth a million pounds, thanks to her Dads…who couldn’t love her and all her brothers and sisters more.

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She gets an allowance of around FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS A MONTH, to spend on anything her heart desires. There’s a dream and she is living it! I’m loving it!

But away from that, what her Fathers Barrie & Tony have achieved is SO IMPORTANT, as they’ve fought their cause, worked hard and now made history! They’re filled with love…I adore them..madly!

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It’s almost like a bouji, modern day fairytale. (There’s a magic to it! A ‘glitter.’)

Surely they adopt me? I’m marvellous! 🙂 Honestly…I am!

Can you even believe that only a few years ago, it was actually  ILLEGAL for adults, who loved one other, to ‘marry’ if they weren’t straight…let alone have a family!

It’s crazy, isn’t it! I love how much more open the world is becoming. I love that people are celebrating love, themselves and their own version of life.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the world your story. I do it every day….(When I don’t have writers block. 😉 ) 

I’m behind them all the way! The family is great! They’re so interesting! And yeah, we should absolutely celebrate a bit of Saffron! I love her! It’s magical!

Okay, i’m bored of being sat in my car now…

So, just a quick note to say THANK YOU for all the love, that i’m receiving on my ‘socials.’

I say it everyday…THANK YOU. If you’re not following my ‘Socials’ and you should be…Here are some of the pics, that you’ve missed…

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It means a great deal…as i’m obviously attempting to build Wunna Land to it’s finest and your ‘love..likes…follows and website clicks’ make a HUGE IMPACT. What am I on about? MAKE ALL the impact! That’s the truth!

A thousand MORE of you ‘liked’ my Facebook Fanpage this week and in the business of blogging, that means a lot! So yes, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my kitten heart. (Glad you’re liking my pics. 😉  You’ve got some good ones tomorrow… Oh and the ‘fitting room’ situation…Is it deliberate? YES! And you, my little ‘winks’ will found out why shortly!

Right, i’m off to deal with my now ‘moderate’ writers block, to ‘food a little‘ with my Mother. The Great Wunna before me.

Hope you don’t start your juice cleanse with a Mimosa like did. Hope you don’t drink too much coffee (which is what my body lives on…) as it makes you do stupid things….faster….

Love you all. Thank you for following my life. I need to get my bloggers flow back.

Kisses,

Chrissie x

 

 

Nothing Like A Wonderbra…

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Ah! This is my FIRST DAY of ABSOLUTE 2018 BLISS! I’m giddy and filled with kitty excitement. The New Year has officially *kicked* it’s pretty self IN and I am *PURRING* WITH A DELICIOUS SWIRL OF READINESS. I feel GREAT TODAY. I feel Wonderful! And luckily for you…like the lurgy, it’s contagious. However, absolutely and of COURSE, it is far MORE glamourous!

I’m feeling great! Wunnaful! You know when you just get that rush…that CRAZY rush of excitement that *zooms* through your body and bursts out of your seams. That’s how i’m feeling today. There’s a *buzz* about this land that I call ‘Wunna.’

To say i’m so excited, I’ve had a simple morning really…Woke up, cuddled the babies, stroked my kitten ‘Rocco,’ nibbled on breakfast, (I’m still being rubbish at dieting) and sipped my black coffee.

The rest of the day was spent at Wonderbra, being fitted into every delicious bra, in all of the mighty land.

In my mind…You can’t start the year without a decent ‘strap in’ bra, which will act as your ‘go to’ Battle Wear, through times of trial and trouble. That’s a fact. It’s a glamour pusses rule. It’s the bra you will always pick up, when you need that bit of comfort…The bra that will ‘party’ with you, go on ‘date night’ with you and keep you cosy, when you just feel like a duvet day.

This is what 2018 is about. Planning ahead. 🙂 Life isn’t gonna get me this year. I’m ahead of the game. I’m all prepared for any sort of ‘rug pull’ or dodgy surprise, that might decide to *pop* up out of nowhere and cause me any stress…OR EVEN WORSE heartache.

I mean, I’ve always played along with life and that’s why it’s been good to me. I’ve bounced back so many times, that it’s now either terrified of me or just cut me some slack.

*Air Kisses…Winks!*

This year, I’m armed with preparation.

Before..and for many years, life would frisbee a ‘bonanza’ at me and I’d let it whack me in the face, pick it up and then i’d mould it correctly, with tears in my eyes, before throwing the Frisbee back. (The process was long.)

This year. Oh yes Dolls! I’m all over it. Life will frisbee a ‘bonanza,‘ completely miss me and whack the person behind me (with lessons still to learn) in the face..so that they can mould, or just let the plug hole swirl them in.

Bottom line…You need a good bra for all this! 🙂

(I’m literally the best blogger in all the land. I even crack MYSELF UP. Poor brands. Haha!)

I spent my entire morning to afternoon in the delicious arms of Wonderbra. Now, incase you didn’t know,  I adore Wonderbra simply because it reminds me of my childhood. My teenage years. Their campaigns were always fun and we all needed a Wonderbra to feel sexy.  It’s such a classic old school brand, with a fresh, new modern day twist. And as we know…that is my specialty.

I spent my morning there.

So, yes, I’m meant to be some Glamour Puss extraordinaire…Yet let me tell you, I had the most HILARIOUS TIME. You do not even KNOW what has to go on, to get fitted into ANY lingerie or bra.

Wonderbra is a GOOD QUALITY brand, so the bra’s themselves are made so well and fit almost perfectly like a corsets, for your boobs. You can feel the quality of that bra, when in one and it’s that quality (like anything in life) that makes you feel SEXY. It made me feel so glamourous, so dignified, so filled to the brim with feline POWER.

So, this is what will happen when I go to bra fitting. I’ll saunter in, pick around four bra’s off the rails, that I THINK are my size?  I’ll always get it wrong, but nonetheless I’ll get the bra in every colour and all styles, to see what suits me best.

In the fitting room, all the clothes fly off and like today, the most adorable and warmest Yorkshire lady, almost like a cuddly, loving Mum sauntered into my fitting area and began fitting me into these bras.

It was hilarious. She was amazing. At one point I was completely topless, still in my jeans and knee high boots, bent forward like a juicy Burmese ‘plank,’ as she tried to strap me into my Wonderbra of choice… like it was my new sassy suit of armour.

She knew exactly what she was doing, as her giant tape measure dangled around her neck and we laughed every single minute of every single moment. If anyone was to walk past my fitting…you’d definitely question what ON THIS EARTH was going on!

Fitter: ‘This is too big…It’s far too big on your back. I need to grab you a different size.’

Me: ‘Yeah, But i like the black one better! How can it be do big? I’m a 34 E.’

Fitter: ‘Here, try this one. Bend over, let me fasten you in, cos you need to FALL your chest into it…Lean forward….It’s a 32 F.’

Me: ‘Can I try it in beige also? I like the strapless classic look..’

Fitter: ‘Your back’s small, your cups big. Let me fasten you in and grab you 3 more bras to try on..’

Then as a million bra’s swung around me…

( It was the actual height of utter glamourosity. Nothing was more ‘kitten like’ or spectacular. All it needed was a confetti shower…and a butler pouring us champagne.)

Anyway, as a million bras swung around me and I delighted in the comfort of femininity. But let me tell you, during ANY Wunna Land fitting, when I find the bra or lingerie I like, I will then prance and pose in front of the mirror, for a good 10 minutes per outfit. (WHEN I LIKE THEM.) Then after that 10 minutes, I will then pull out my phone and selfie in my outfit, until I get a good photo. 🙂 I’ll even warm up and do test shots. Lol.

   

I’ll forget that anyone else is there. Then i’ll realize and apologize sincerely. (I’m well mannered. 😉 )

Me: ‘I am SO SORRY. Look at me. I’m in this mirror thinking i’m Pamela Anderson or something. Haha.’

Fitter: ‘Shush you, you’re alright. I wish I looked like you in that bra. Prance away, you look so happy!’

(Fitters are always AMAZING, because they WILL ALWAYS make you FEEL BEAUTIFUL. They’re job is to make you feel good and FIT YOU. 🙂 ) 

Then i’ll moan that my hair wasn’t right and take more selfies… do more poses…

Before finally agreeing that the world is now a safer kitten place to live in and that I’ll now FEEL GREAT in my bra/lingerie.

(Incase you didn’t know, when it comes to the art of modelling…of the glamour variety…it is how an outfit makes you FEEL, that makes a great picture, not JUST about how you look in it. Nothing is worse than ‘dead eyes.’)

Anyway, done! Dusted! Happy as can be!

One of the best brands. One of the best services. One of the best bras that I have ever at the honour of wearing. I honestly couldn’t have FELT SEXIER. I could wear my strapless Wonderbra, all day, every day and feel like a absolute QUEEN! I felt ‘regal’ yet sexy! I felt powerful and we women love a bit of power don’t we! 😉

They’re like treasure.

Buy yourself a Wonderbra.

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Boxing Day, Prosecco Pops & Selfies

Goodness me! So much is going on! But i’m having a blast and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world…armed with a diary and maybe a bit of a wink.

 How you all doing? Good?

Well Christmas is now over. It was the most wonderful time of the year. But now let’s pack up the tree and get on with the last few days of 2017. (These last few days are like ‘no mans land’ where you have no clue what’s going on, what day it is, or how to wear anything other than pyjamas anymore? I don’t wear pyjamas…I just wear diamonds. 😉 )

I need to make sure I blog every day. I keep getting caught up in the art of ‘good times,’ that I forget that I’m actually a writer and the whole point is that I tell you the story…That’s the part that I adore the most!!  But whatever, i’ll get into the swing of it. I always do. It’s just been a crazy bit of time!

*Giggles..Hip Bump.*

So, i’ve been spending a lot of much needed time with Ruby & Junior. We’ve had the most amazing chunk of ‘family bonanza’ ever. I guess everyone has! We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. We’ve ‘all sorts.’ It’s been great! I might have pulled my hair out a few times! It’s a single mum’s way. J However, I always look for the love in their eyes. And there’s been a million moments, over the last two weeks where they’ve been so filled with utter glee, that the world has been their absolute oyster. Ruby’s now decided she’s a vegetarian and Junior likes my boobs.

Junior: Can I give you a massage?’

Me: ‘Yeah. That’s so sweet.’

Junior: ‘Good. I’ll start with your boobies.’

Me: ‘No…Junior…Lol.’

I’ve had my LAST 2017 blow out!

I met up with the girls, Fairytale Blond, Double B and Mel on Boxing day.

This was after I had bumped into one of my good friends Jenna at the bar in Ego. I don’t know what happened? But I’m waiting to buy my drink. I’m stood there with my card out and a smile. Jenna rocks up to wish me a ‘Hiya’ and a ‘Merry Boxing Day’ (as I was about to do late lunch with my Mum, Dad and Brother) and as we got chatting, a guy to our left.. in a flat cap stated he would’ve bought my drink for me…THEN the guy to the right of me…DID! I know? How bizarre? He just said I looked really ‘patient,’ and wanted to buy me my drink? I’m the luckiest little shit! Little ‘Patient face’ Me! 😉

Me: ‘How did that happen? What’s gone on?’

Jenna: ‘It’s just Wunna innit. It’s just you. He bought you a drink and then lovingly went back to his wife. Lol. I’m meeting up with Danielle later..’

After the loveliest dinner with my family…(I ate crazy carbs, I never eat crazy carbs,) I tinkered my little self to The Carleton to meet the girls, where we popped open Prosecco bottles, drank fruity  gin, shared *clinks* and told stories to each other that would burn your unholy ears, as fairy lights surrounded us and post Christmas bustle *busied* its way through the crowds.

I love the girls. They’re great. But as always…it got messy. They told me that we were DEFINITELY not going into town.

THEY LIED!

Fairytale: ‘We’re off into town!’

We ended up in town…and I hate going out around Pontefract! I always try and sneak off. Lol. But I didn’t, this time. I’m SO GLAD that I had those ‘earlier carbs.’ I did shots, like I was 20. (What am I even doing? I hate shooting anything. ;))

Drinks were guzzled. Dance floors were shimmied upon. Fairytale got brassy. (I love drunk Fairytale. She is the  most innocent one out of the group, but give that girl a prosecco and she is  SASSERILLA!  Mel might have fallen over on the dance floor in a beautiful beige faux fur…She kinda popped back up, with her hands in the air with an ..

‘I’m alright! I’m up. I’m alright!’

…and Double B, who was my Team Companion for the evening, kept trying to BEG ME to stay out to the crack of dawn, whilst telling me she loves me and squeezing into my loo.

Double B: ‘Staay out!’

Me: ‘NO. I’M 37. I’M GOING HOME!’

Double B: ‘Well if you’re going home. I’m going home!’

Me: ‘GOOD!!’

Double B: ‘I don’t wanna go home!! Staaaaaaay OUT!’

Me: ‘GET LOST.’

Anyway, we drank at the Green Dragon, we danced in The Malt Shovel…We ginned it up at Tap & Barrel…We even wiggled around the Barley Mow for a bit.

Me: ‘Why is everyone old in here?’

Double B: ‘You’re not even the oldest one! Guess how old she is?’

Me: ‘Why do you always play the Guess How Old I Am Game???’

We even bumped into one of my old friends Benny P. He’s straight, but like you’re ‘Gay Best Friend.’

Benny P: ‘I’ll go to Biggies, if you’re going..’

Me: ‘I’m not going….’

Benny P: ‘I’m off home then…’

Then Gary’s Mel called ‘Fairytale.’ Prince Jonathan…Fairytale’s Boyfriend, showed up at the pub, AFTER a call…and I looked down at my phone..ofcourse hours later… and Gangsta J (Double B’s boyfriend) had Facebook called ME!

You know you’re all in trouble when that happens. Lol

But it was such a great night. We all just had a final 2017 blow out

The taxi home cost a flipping BOMB and Double B made the executive decision to start pretend fights with everyone in the queue…before buying chips.

Me: ‘Stop shouting things at them…cos you’ll get away with it, but they’ll turn around and have a go AT ME! Lol!’

*REWIND*

Earlier in the night, we had sang our personal rendition of the beautiful song..

‘Move Bitch Get Out The Way’

…on the patio at The Carleton, for the night stars to enjoy.

It really was a treat. There are certainly Grammy Awards in our future. I should’ve plonked a stiletto out on the floor in front of us, for tips.

We were lost in a world of girl!

Such a fun night.

HOWEVER NOW….that’s it. I’m done. Party season is OVER. The corks are back in the wine bottles.

*Cheeky Sip. Cheeky Sip. Wedges Cork BACK IN*

The tinsel has been bundled away until next time.

And being a kitten who DOES NOT DO ANYTHING for New Years Eve…(People are always astounded by that, as i’m obviously meant to be one to be waving the flag of ‘party’ like a hooligan in heels and diamonds.) But i’m not. I can’t be bothered.

If you are out…I KNOW that you’ll have an AMAZING TIME. It’ll be fun! Many moons ago, in LA, where I did my 20’s…I rolled into some New Year? I can’t remember which year I rolled into? But it was at 10am on Jan 1st, in a taxi, with my then roommate Justin, with some pornstar in the back, that he had found and utterly fancied. They did actually date for a while. (We were both even in sunglasses because it was SUCH A BRIGHT Hollywood morning. )

At that point, I decided that I would never EVER rock into a fresh new year…UNFRESH.

I don’t mind a few drinks at home with friends, or AT friends, or with family and spirit. I’m fun. I love celebrating.

But for me…the clock strikes twelve and I will sail freshly and peacefully into 2018, like some kind of  Oriental Goddess. (Something like that anyway? You get the picture!)

I’ve had a great year and i’m gonna take you back through it soon. I kinda like staying in the present, as you just don’t know what lies ahead and the past is just a chipper memory now. If you stay in the moment and enjoy it, you’ll always be happy. We still have a few days left of 2017. Don’t let life slip through your fingers. You’re a long time gone. Enjoy it!

Love! Live! Celebrate Being You! It’s the only thing you can do BETTER than anyone else!

I have an exciting 2018. Everything’s NEW. Everything’s Snazzy. I have everything crossed!

You are going to be shocked!

Thank you for all the love you’ve been giving me. I adore it, with every inch of kitten soul! Thank you!

I’m getting a ton of messages from people who are wanting to meet me, or be part of the blog.

I will tell you that I have a TON of ‘Meet & Greets’ next year, where you will have the opportunity to ‘selfie take’ and embrace a bit of Wunna Land. And yes, you will also have the opportunity to be part of the blog and come play ‘Diaries’ with me.

The best chick that i’ve met recently, was a girl by a bubble gum machine in Doncaster, who not only had a huge stem of brussel sprouts sticking out of her posh handbag, but also asked me for change to buy sweets. Lol. She wasn’t a child. She wouldn’t tell me her name. She was a grown up and hilarious. A bit odd. But I do like the odd ones, don’t I. 😉 She was SO odd, that my Mother became a little alarmed, SO ALARMED that she followed me for the next 40 steps, incase I got GOT, my a lady with brussel sprouts. Lol. (Mums eh!)

I look forward to seeing you all.

All the loves….

Chrissie x

Thank you for following my life!!

When I flirted with Candy Mechanics….

So Friday I went down to Trinity Leeds, after being invited to take a tinker at the new Candy Mechanics ‘Edible Selfie’ station. I’m the Queen of ‘The Seat my friends call the ‘lobster arm.’

Double B: ‘She can’t take a selfie of herself without putting one arm up into her hair.’

Firmonnell: ‘The lobster arm.’

Me: ‘I don’t look like a lobster. Lol. I can’t help it. The phone whops out, the arm goes up. It’s life. You’ll all be doing it.’

Double B: ‘Does the carpet match the curtains?’

Me: ‘What’s that got to do with anything? Haha. And Yeah! I’m not a secret ginger…’

Double B: ‘I just didn’t know if when you took a selfie, but  of your vagina, if it had a weave on also…?’

Firmonnell: ‘….and an amazing lobster arm that protrudes out from underneath , to take it’s official position for the photo?’

Hahaha. Why do I have shit friends!!!

To be honest…they’re amazing. Your BEST friends. Your favourites.. are always the ones where in which you can commit to nonsense banter and take a bit of roasting. I mean, Firmonnell and I listened to ‘Hustle Barbie’ randomly sing a chant, about boobs at us, on Thursday afternoon.

It was really creative…it went like this..

‘Titties! Titties! Titties! Titties.’ 🙂

( It was so funny at the time, that we cried. I obviously can’t tell you why it was so funny because we’d get into trouble. But we were talking about sex and ham. 😉 )

But anyway…on Friday I tinkered into Leeds city centre. My favourite of favourites. And yes, I went try out the ‘Edible Selfie’ Station by Candy Mechanics, that has currently opened in Trinity Leeds.

The whole magical concept of Candy Mechanics , swirls the delicious art of old school confectionery into the modern time, where all things ‘social’ take the lead.

(I love ALL BRANDS that take something ‘old school’ and meander it to the sound of a ‘modern day twist.’ Kinda like this blog. The art of the written words and ‘diary keeping’ has been going on for centuries…This is the exact same thing, but with a modern day twist…and it’s now one of the most read blogs in Britain, in its niche and I like to think, i’ve made ‘diary keeping’ cool. Lol)

So I arrived at Trinity Leeds, in my white faux fur and my eyes filled with glee, ready to tinker my kitten self into a world of magical sweet treat. I find myself stood infront of what is practically the most glamourously modern, ‘Edible Selfie’ station in all the land. It’s surrounded by bustle, life, creative energy and grand, well lit window boxes, honouring your face in chocolate lollipop form.  They rotate around like glorious trophies…Almost like a chocolate Oscar.

Caz the PR girl was there. Sassy, fun and informative…and she introduces me to everyone, who have worked all night to make this launch as amazing as it can be. (I appreciate hard work. Things are never as easy as they seem.) There’s another blogger in before me…So whilst she’s doing her do…I’m filling my Snapchat and Facebook newsfeed with the wonder of my personal experience.

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Now, as you know. I like the story of the moment, the behind the scenes, the ‘how you got to your glory,’ tale. I’m inspired by those stories, so I never just want to know about the product…I want to know how someone got there. The hardship.

What I can tell you is that the owner of the company, the creator (who you can see on my pics) came up with the idea, as part of his dissertation at Uni. He handed in a piece of work, yet because he was (and still is) dyslexic, instead of typing the word ‘LIKEABLE,’ he made a spelling mistake and accidentally typed the word ‘LICKABLE.’ It was a big joke in Uni, but his Tutor told him to go with it…

He did…

Two years later, he is now the PROUD OWNER of Candy Mechanics, which is taking over the nation by storm, as one of the most innovative sweet treat concepts of our time. He’s created a bespoke online service and new POP UP Stations across the UK..Not only are they even on tour right now, but he is currently being hailed as one of the finest confectioners in the nation and the Britain’s social ‘Willy Wonka.’

He was there to meet me…and unlike most CEO’s he was working at the station, just like the rest of them. He sat me down infront of a GIANT selfie screen, that resembled an iphone screen, to my right was the rotating gloriously lit ‘Chocolate Trophy’ stand and with a..

‘Stay still. I’m just gonna scan your image.’

He raised a very modern looking appliance around my face, slooooooooooooooowly. It was almost like a work of art. Then just like that, a giant 3D computerised, moving image of my head, my actual selfie, materialised in the GIANT SCREEN. Now, this wasn’t just any old picture of my face. My had had now been turned into 3D chocolate and I could use the TOUCHSCREEN to move it around, choose what flavour I wanted to me and make sure I was happy with the product. The experience of it all was DIVINE. It was modern, glamourous and….well I just felt so trendy and important when I was going through the process of it all. Lol

Then, to the left, a white chocolate lollipop, which was in a half globe shape was placed into a glass box, that had the most hardcore technical machinery fitted into it. These machines, the candy robots, are so precise that they are usually used to cut through wood and brick….all sorts. They are that DRAMATIC. He has used the machinery to carve his delicate selfies into chocolate lollipops. The temperature of the machine is monitored, as obviously unlike wood, chocolate melts in seconds under such heat…and THE SPEED of the drill is monitored.

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‘You need to speed it up for the next one…’

…I heard him state to the chocolate mechanics.  (I love that.)

Now, I stood and watched a globe of luxury white Belgian chocolate (yes, it’s luxury chocolate, not rubbish ‘run of the mill’ type silliness and because the owner used to work for Green & Blacks & Marks & Spencers, in product and taste development) slowly, yet efficiently be gracefully carved into my face. I cannot even describe to  you HOW THERAPEUTIC, it was watching that drill, almost scientifically dance and flirt with the art of confectionery carving. It was mesmerizing. I was enthralled by it all. It was better than sex.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. The art had lulled me in. People stopped by to watch the process and adored it so much, they sat down and began their chocolate selfie moment. It’s crazy how you slowly start seeing your face appear in the chocolate…as it’s brought to life. It’s magic. It’s beautiful.

Straight after the carving…my Selfie Lollipop was then passed to the ‘Gold Duster,’ where just that occurred. My 3D lollipop of my face, was taken by hand and again, like it was the most precious piece of confectionery in all the land, it was dusted over in edible gold dust.

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Once it was dusted, they handed it to me to take a look at and to selfie with and I was astonished at how fantastic the entire process was, to produce such a cute little luxury lolly of my own face. My own head! A lot of work goes into it and it’s addictive. I already need to go again and will be taking both Ruby and Junior next Saturday to go have THEIR faces turned into chocolate lollipops…

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I selfied with mine and Snapchatted the whole thing. It was such a remarkable experience and it’s bizarre because it takes you back to feeling like you’re a kid again…But Willy Wonka has designed a lollipop, of YOU. YES YOU! I beamed with delight. There was distinct glow to my kitty smile.

It’s the most modern treat. The most delicate gift and the most magical experience that I have ever taken part in. Words don’t even do it justice, as you’re very much a PART of this creative process. Like I said, I’ll be going back there this Saturday with my babies, simply so they can experience it to. This is one of the most trendiest gifts or i’d say ‘Thank yous’ that you can give someone this Christmas.

I walked away from the Candy Mechanics air clicking my heels with glee. I kept showing everyone my lolly and treasuring it like the world had created a Masterpiece. Lol.

Then because I was in such a good mood…I thought fuck it…

I missed my next train, flung my kitten bag over my shoulder and merrily strutted through the busy, city streets of Leeds. It was around 2pm. I popped my head up. I smiled and then I pushed through the gloriously glass doors  revolving doors to (as you know) one of my favourite daytime *haunts* in Leeds…Gino D’Acampo’s.