Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! 😉

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day,  filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! 😉 I know! Wow wee!  *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… 🙂 , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

(I don’t know who chrissiewunna is..but it’s not me and i’m sure she is far more naked or chatty…lol So do make sure you add the right one.)

Tweet me: @chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Like my Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

 

Every Second Counts….

So, there I was on Sunday evening, about to fly off an email to Social Chain and JUST BEFORE I hit *send*….almost on some weird *cue* my phone *winks* at me with a Twitter DM.

Now, I’m on my phone a lot, yet when i’m working or blogging, I sort of ignore it and check it occasionally, because as right now, it’s kinda like a revolving digital, never ending, screen fountain of Instagram picture ‘likes,’ Twitter ‘favourites’….Messenger notifications..You know the score…

Anyway, at this precise moment, before I hit *send,* I just so happened to look to my right, down at my phone. It was laid on my bed next to me. I had Juvenile ‘Slow Motion’ playing in the background and I was sat in my bra, wishing that I didn’t EAT my way through February…and with a…

‘Hi Chrissie,

Just came across the work you’re doing! Love it.. You in London much…Let’s set up a date for you to come over to the Yourfeed offices in London..Drop me a note and we can set up…I’ll have my executive assistant have a car sorted from the train station to the office for you. Looking forward to it!’

And just like that…another life ‘side street’ was presented to me.  You never know what’s going to happen at any point. I’ve learnt this always through life. Good things. Bad things. All things! I have opportunities coming from everywhere right now. Some are *zapping* in from above at the speed of light, some are some moving like a tango, other’s are friendly and easy going and there are the ones who are to the point, without ‘faff’ and direct. It’s all money, brands, meet me’s and ‘work with me’s.’

I don’t know what’s happening? Yet the Chrissie Wunna glitter train is no longer *chugging* along on steady yet rickety tracks . It’s now being picked up by giants, sprinkled over with opportunity and flown to the stars like magic…fueled by this little thing called hard work. Well I say ‘hard work’…yet it feels like fun. My previous boss once told me to ‘WORK SMART NOT HARD.’ That stuck with me…The idea is to utilize yourself appropriately to make the most impact.

AS IF THIS FLIPPING ONLINE DIARY HAS GOT THIS CRAZY!

I remember being a kid in West Hollywood, walking into that bookstore every morning, on La Cienega and 3rd, talking to DK who made me coffee every morning and telling him about what I’d got up to the night before. He told me to start a blog on Myspace..and i refused to because I didn’t know what one was…Lol. But I did it…and 10 years later…I’m apparently a ‘sensation.’ 🙂

LORD FUCKING KNOWS, HOW I’VE MANAGED IT???

Yet, the great thing about me, even though i’m really aware of all that is ‘going on’ right now in my career…is that i’m STILL just that girl, who started to write an online diary because some dude at a coffee shop told me to.

Right now, i’m taking ALL the opportunities that I can…because it’s really just the beginning. I hope to build an empire. Did I always think it would happen? Honestly…Yes. Did I doubt myself…at times..yeah. But this year is the actual year where in which I have in my hands…I have it here…in my hands..I can feel it..and it’s happened because at the end of last year I began to knuckle down and focus…I spent my last year chasing boys and after selling myself short, realizing that there was a whole career that I wanted to pursue…and that I was wasting time on things that I didn’t really WANT…my mindset changed…I grew 10 feet tall…I hair tossed, I got my *game face* on, I slipped on a sassier set of heels and I fucking WENT FOR IT.

I’ve only knuckled down for about 3 months and so far SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. In six months….it’ll be even better…by the end of the year…even YOU’LL be shocked. Just so you know, I’m always shocked. I mean I stood infront of my chick friends today with an egg sandwich..

‘Ewww….as if you got egg that’s disgusting. You’re disgusting!’

…and with a shake of my head in confusion, in my faux fur, I just looked at them with a…‘I don’t even know how this has all happened’ face?

I feel lucky. Thank you for following my life. Thank you so much!

Everyone’s asking me about the UK Blog Awards. They’re in April. I’m going to them…OBVIOUSLY. Yet not one part of me believes that I will win it. They’ve already picked the winner…and I don’t know…something just feels like it’s not me. Infact, i had a conversation about this with Abeiku Arthur the other day, after getting back from Manchester that time we did Nandos and went for ‘after chicken‘ cocktails.

Big A: ‘You’ll win it.’

Me: ‘I won’t. I know I won’t.’

Big A: ‘I’m going to the Awards y’know. Are you staying over?’

Me: ‘Yeah. You do know that you’ll have to spend your awards evening listening to me BITCH at you repeatedly because I haven’t won. ..and i’ll be dripped in champagne.’

‘Yeah…and I’m fine with it. Lol. You’ll win it.Why don’t you think you will?’

‘Well…because everyone else’s blog is a serious factual, advice type blog…and well mine is just the story of my life…it’s a diary…’

‘That’s why you’ll win it. There’s not many chicks who just write a  diary that people all over the world READ every day…’

‘If I thought I was going to win it…I’d tell you. I’m not like that. I just know I won’t. But I deserve to. 😉 ‘

So, what i’m saying to you all is to hope for the best yet EXPECT nothing…because from what I’ve learnt in life so far, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN at any point. I’ve almost become immune to under feet ‘rug pulls.’ Embrace changes. Don’t be scared of them. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Look around you…Take a moment to look around you. Do you have everything the way you want it? Is this how you want to spend the next few years of your life? Do you want it to develop? Are you selling yourself short? Obsessing over the wrong things?Are you working your perfect job? In love with the right human? Are you being you? Do you feel AMAZING!!!?!!

If you do ANYTHING tomorrow, I want you to just take that *moment* where in which you *pause* look around you and monitor if you’re living life the way you utterly wish to be…

If you ARE…You’ve nailed it! 🙂

If you’re not…than things can only get better…YOU ARE the driving FORCE behind that change…Commit to it. Go for it! Make your dreams come true! Every second of everyday, someone, somewhere has had a dream come true. Why can’t it be yours?

Okay preach over….

Have rum and splash it in victory winks!

I love you.

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

Global Chinese Whispers & YOU

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I asked for excitement and I got it. Boy it I get it! I got a whole ‘diddly doo’ dollop of it this week. I’ve pretty much been at work and kinda almost non stop. I feel like i’ve been at nothing but work and i adore work, I do, as I think it keeps us alive…yet this week was long, even my burst of Chrissie ‘Blue Tick’ Wunna excitement, sent me on a bit of a merry shock of a swirl, as behind the scenes (because i haven’t really out loud spoken about it..) in a week,  everything in my life changed.

Now, i know i’ve worked hard for everything, with a glittery wiggle and a whip of sauced up charm. I’m not a lazy human by nature. My energy levels can almost be annoying at times. (I’ve just made myself sound like a weirdo, honestly, during weekends…i’m normal.) What i like to say is that I’m ‘ALIVE’ and when you’re around me, you feel it. Yes, It gets annoying.I mean, at the beginning of this year (feels like yonks ago now) I remember being sat on the end of a gentleman’s bed, as he yawned, looked knackered and uttered the words, ‘Are you always this spritely?’ Hahaha. Even ‘Eton Mess’ said that i pretty much ‘talk his ear off.’ I even called his phone from my kitchen last month, knowing that he wouldn’t pick up, simply to leave a comedic message on his voicemail, that ended in an evil laugh. I just can’t shut up. YET, IN THE END, it will SERVE ME WELL. 😉

Basically, this week i went from being at home eating a KFC, sat in my bra, on my own with Ruby throwing diva strops and Junior trumping in my bed sheets..to  waking up the next morning, living life as per usual, (which is glamourously, don’t get it twisted 🙂 ) with my new ‘blue tick’ on show and by noon, having all these big brands, all these little brands, all these bars, venues, businesses, events and people, all wanting to work alongside me and sign me up to simply..well… ‘show up.’ A day went by and then Kerry Katona and David Walliams (alongside others) sent me Twitter love and talent agencies and tv shows began scheduling in to meet with me and leaving my celly voicemails. (Notice how the fun, drunk, funny or misfitty celebs follow this blog. 🙂 ) 

Anyway, I went about my normal week…normally..not saying anything, knowing that all of this was going on…and replying to the emails, still in basic kitty shock. I’ve been having a laugh about it all really with friends and drinking a lot of ginny cocktails with my spikey red nails. I did have a moment of being an ego maniac, and then i fully got over myself and went on a diet. 🙂

Like i said, i’ve worked really hard for everything and it’s been slow..Yet when something *pops*…and it *pops* well…then like lightening it *ZOOMS* madly. It’s kinda like someone’s caught me, shoved me in a pink glitter cannon, (good luck trying to shove me in anything in real life :), ) lit fire to it’s arse and with a giant *BURST* i’ve shot out…boobs, wit and everything, immersed in a giant cocktail coloured smoke of cyber land followers. Lol.

My blog has been like this cheeky little game of global Chinese Whispers…where someone who has crossed paths with me, has heard about it,or appeared in the blog,  read it and passed it on to a friend…kinda like the lergy…a yawn, or…. herpes? You don’t even have to read it all the time, as whenever you choose to pop in, it’s still here…whittering away like a sassy online cyber cocktail bar, that you go to when bored.

It’s certainly killed my love life off though. I mean gosh yes i’m focused, yet i still have time for lurve. My inbox is dead, as now all boys are definitely terrified…OR just don’t fancy me. (A concept that i just do not understand. 😉 ) 

Anyway, i’m off, i have a busy weekend. I’ve been decorating the house for Halloween with the babies, simply because i promised them a bit of a party party, after a shopping day tomorrow. (I’ve needed this chilled out family time, to balance me out after my mad week. The kids, although insane, mean everything to me. I love’em and because….there’s sort of just us, doing life together.)

I’ll be at the Frenchgate Centre in Doncaster , most of Saturday, doing my do. They love it when i show up there with the babies. I don’t know why? Maybe because it’s where i started life? 

Doncaster is my place of birth!

Hurrah! Team Donny! (And no we’re not all slags.)

…and then Sunday i’ll be headed to Leeds, to go check out the brand, spanking new, delicious looking Victoria Leeds AND pop into Bubble Tea.

I’ve been messaged a lot over the last couple months by you, yes you, asking how YOU can appear on the blog…and the answer to that is to….simply cross paths with me.

The blog is based upon my real life, none of it is fabricated…everyone and every story is real. So if you totter across my path even for a second and make some kind of impact…then the next day i’ll be sat here writing about you…but after rum, so be warned. 🙂