Blend Out Bullying with Glamour Magazine

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I have the busiest October. But i’m SO happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m beaming. I’m brimming over with a ‘rushy’ swirl of glee. It’s not even cocktail infused. It’s bubbling from my lil’ kitten soul.

I have so much going on. I stiletto stepped out of a big audition yesterday. One that came out of nowhere, via an instagram message. (Do not underestimate the power of social media.) I’m influencing a lot. I’m leaving my *Wunna* glitter stamp, wherever I journey. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m still very single. My love life is unfortunate. I’m still the eligible bachelorette.  I’m feeling 37 and sexy. But most of all, I’m using my voice, now that I have a voice…to inspire.

The only reason why I write this blog, is to inspire other humans, via my own ‘colourful’ story. You’ll probably do things differently to me. Yet, you’ll feel my story, my journey…and remember.

I’ve documented my existence for 10 whole years on THIS website, (it started on Myspace, but got deleted by a grumpy,) via a diary. This year is my 10th anniversary. I can’t believe i’ve stuck it out.

So…Yesterday…

If you didn’t know, I’m a massive Glamour Magazine fan. It’s a delicious edit of work, that has been my companion on many a train journey, shoot, quiet moment or hotel stay. It’s a written ‘show’ of utter bliss and excellence, to me. It’s glamourous, yet comforting. A somewhat young & modern, *twist* of excitement, that not only makes you see, but FEEL. It’s a magazine that will take you from ‘girl dom,’ to WOMAN hood. It’s a glamourous ‘prep school, ‘ that will give you a solid, yet fun insight, as to ‘what happens next.’

I bought this month’s edition…

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I treasured it with my life, because it just felt so good, even before I turned a page. I skimmed through it, because that’s what I always do at first. I need it to ‘flutter,’ through my mind.

YET, mid ‘flutter,’ I *paused.* I stopped a second. I really did stop..and I absorbed.

The ‘Blend Out Bullying’campaign.

Okay, so we all know that i’ve lived a life. If I have nothing else, I have a story to tell. I’ve documented it all, from life as a model, living all over the world, Hollywood nights, being Asian, with a Yorkshire birth, marriages to actors, break ups, time as an actress, my failing love life, motherhood, my ups, my downs, m crushes, my stints on TV and well…my last 10 years has had you follow my existence…daily.

When this happens…people talk. I have my own lil’ patch of Cyberland…and yes, NOW, I have SO much support, it’s incredible. I mean, if ‘Sex and The City’ & ‘The Osborne’s’ was Asian and had a baby…it would be me.

I’ve ended up in newspapers and magazines, which again…made people talk. A lot of wonderful things have been said about me…However, i’ve taken a lot of *FLAK* over the years…and that ‘FLAK’ used to affect me massively, in my 20’s. In my 30’s, now that i’ve graduated to ‘WOMAN,’ it’s ‘shaped’ me beautifully and glamorously. I’ve never let myself be a victim of cyber bullying openly…but I have been ‘labelled’ and named everything under the glitter sun and back.

After the life I’ve lived…It’ll take a lot more than ‘a few words’ to get me down. 

But here are some of the NEGATIVE words that people have called me…

Fake. Fat. Ugly. Ching Chong. Gold Digger. Chubby. Old. Wannabe. Nobody. Disgusting. Talentless. Dumb. Bitch. Whore. Slut.

I’ve even received ‘death threats.’

‘You should DIE because you’re so ugly. I will kill you. You should get raped. ‘ 

All this was luckily mingled in with ‘I love yooou’s’ which made all the difference. It balanced it out for me emotionally.

I lost two close friends of mine. Both appeared on reality shows. Both took their own lives, because of cyber bullying.

I was just someone who ‘took it on the chin.’ I was surrounded by love. I hoped, I had a purpose. I still do. It kept me going. Infact being a Mum and having an audience…kept me going.

I heard…

‘You’re too old to do this…’

I’m not too old. I’m actually doing it. It’s like i’m in my prime.

I’m delicious.

I saw what Nabela had done. (Please DO make sure you’re reading your editorials in magazines. Being a blogger, I KNOW that they’re not JUST written for kicks. They’re there to INSPIRE you. You’d hate it if you wrote a piece, an article, a blog, or a diary and everyone said that, they ‘only looked at the pictures.’ )

Every inch of me wanted to be involved…

Just like that, (i’m a doer, not a talker…So many people have ‘talked’ at me and done nothing…I’m not that. I’m too ‘sizzle.’)

I JOINED THE ‘BLEND OUT BULLYING’ CAMPAIGN with Glamour Magazine, to help make a difference and strip all bullies of their power.Every day a ‘keyboard warrior’ reckons they’re getting the better of me, I almost become stronger.

How many of you bought Glamour Magazine, this month, read the article, thought it was great, but didn’t bother to do it? Y’know…take action?

JUST SAYIN’

No matter what, I honestly believe that every single human, has had someone, somewhere say something negative to them, or about them, at some point, that has hurt them emotionally. Right? Sometimes we bite back. Sometimes we can’t, or we don’t.

HELP DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I’m 37 and grown. I’ve lived a life, where i’ve heard  all sorts said about me. It bounces off me, like a bee sting…and ends in total glitter. I don’t even feel it anymore.

However, being immune to the problem, doesn’t make it better…does it?

Yesterday, I chose 4 hurtful words, that others had labelled me…and I wrote them on my face in concealer.

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Then I *BLENDED* them out…into my face.

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As I was doing it, I felt EMPOWERED, because I knew I was brave enough to ‘Middle finger’ the peeps who had ‘labelled’ me AND because I felt that I had the backing of my favourite magazine and of those who root for Wunna Land.

Hang on a second…

Right, so…

I’ve just this second, uploaded a video to youtube of my ‘blend.’

After all that, I then posted a picture of the result…Which was this…

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I never felt so beautiful. I don’t feel old. (I embrace my time and my age.) I don’t feel fat. (I’ve always felt good about my body.)  I don’t feel ugly (I love my lil’ Asian features,) and I’m certainly not fake. (There’s a whole lot of TV to prove it. Haha.)

To anyone who takes the time to red this blog..I firstly THANK YOU, as it’s not like a usual ‘cheeky’ Wunna blog. I have a message today. It’s kinda like ‘The Bible’ but bouji. 😉

It takes ONE MOMENT to simply write a word on your cheek and blend.

Join the ‘Blend out Bullying’ campaign today.

Make a difference…

You could even save a life.

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Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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Scare Kingdom & Sex Dungeons

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You probably spent your Friday, planning out your cocktail mixers & putting together your outfits, for a jolly lil’ weekend of debauchery. A weekend of blissful safety, under a bouji umbrella of frosted prosecco pours. A weekend where in which you *winked* at strangers and placed your heart on your sleeve, as you stalked your ‘findings’ on Instagram.

Shush! We all do it.

I spent my Friday, doing a morning school run, (Single Mum Alert,) before hopping on a train to meet my gay friend Liam…Once I arrived, I found a Bacardi in my hand, as station security guards stood by my side. Then after a moment in a beauty salon, followed by wine in a Casino, at Blackpool, Pleasure Beach. I found myself getting changed in his living room, with more wine in my hand, after chatting to his agent Zoie and making a really poor shoe selection.

Liam: ‘Honestly, you need to wear trainers.’

Me: ‘I’ll be fine.’ 

Aaron & Kyle showed up and…

BOOM….

We were headed to Blackburn, where I pretty much had to…

RUN FOR MY ENTIRE F****** LIFE.

(I’m a glamour puss. I don’t run for anything, but diamonds. Sistas! I RAN! I ran SO fast, I tripped over my own feet, fell and rolled myself back up again. I felt like a rubbish Vin Diesel. Haha.) 

The UK’s Top Rated ‘Halloween Attraction.’

Yeah that’s where I ended up…

I was invited to Scare Kingdom, Scream Park, to celebrate it’s VIP press launch. It’s opening night. If you know me personally, you’ll know that I can handle, real life scary stuff. I’m good with all that.

But when it comes to fear, tight spaces,mind games, Halloween, horror, ghosts & goolies…(Wahey! 😉 I said ‘goolies’... )

..I am awful for it. I’m terrified of it all. I don’t even like to celebrate Halloween. I close my eyes and pretend it’s not part of the year.

OH MY LORD! 

I got there. It was fine. (I’d already fallen backwards, on my arse, in Liam’s living room, with a wine in my hand, because of my shocking shoe choice.) I was ready for anything… I already had a graze on my arm.

Liam: ‘I swear you’re getting pissed because you’re terrified!!!’

Once, in Blackburn…It started like this…

Which was fine. It’s always great to see ‘Aaron the Pap,‘ in action, who’s actually a really great friend of mine. I love Aaron. He was in our car up…with Kyle. (Who I THANK the GOOD LORD for!)

Next, came another drink…and then this…

Again. I can handle the creepy dude on the red carpet. I even asked him out on a Sushi date. He declined. He obviously has poor taste in women.

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Then…

OH MY ******* KITTENS!!!!

It was time to enter the creepy Scare Kingdom, farm land and go through the TERROR, that awaited our juiciness. We had to go first, because Liam (who’s a singer) had a ‘later on’ gig to get to…Which was delightful, because of course, if you go first, they’re all flipping energized and excited. Lol

Cheers love!

I mean anything that says…

‘Hold on tightly to the rope that guides you, it is your only hope of escape from the hooded hell hole, known as Flesh Market.’ 

Hmm…? Lovely. Something says i’m not at Angelica’s anymore? 

I couldn’t even walk up there because of my shoes. Haha. fell over twice, with Liam and Kyle holding me up on either side. It hadn’t even started yet!! 🙂

Aaron: ‘She’s off to a farm to be chased by zombies and she chooses to wear those shoes!!!’ 

We’re wandering around. All’s calm. It’s raining a little. I hate the rain. We head inside, things turn dark…and then absolute tight spaced, TERROR begins….

All I remember was forcing my friend Kyle, go first (lol), whilst holding his back, (Liam was behind me) and just ******* SCREAMING, FOR MY WHOLE LIFE, into his hood, because I needed my eyes to just stop seeing. Haha.

I don’t even know how Kyle was so brave!?! God, did not make eyes for what we were forced to see…Haha. 

Imagine being tipsy, being shoved into a tight, dark maze, then HAVING to get yourself through it all, simply for your own pride, whilst you wished for the torture & horror to stop.

Imagine doing all of that, on a dark farm in Blackburn (lol.) You knew awful things were about to happen, every time you were being greeted by creepy humans. Human’s that made you feel uncomfortable on every level. Imagine being chased THROUGH some death cage, by them…blind and…

..IN ****** heels.

We got through the first maze. Don’t know how?

I now couldn’t talk, after screaming so madly…We started walking towards the ‘next bit’ of utter terror. I fell over around 7 times, en route, because a mixture of bad shoe choices, wine and fear, kept making me.

Liam: ‘We can’t go through the next maze. It’s too scary and you’re falling over your own feet!’

My trousers were literally covered in mud. My shoes were battered. My makeup had smeared. I had tears in my eyes…I was laughing, in shock. But then I went with…

Me: ‘I can just take my shoes off and of through the rest of us…’

EH?

Liam: ‘Fuck off. You’re not allowed to do that…’

Kyle: ‘She can’t get through it…’

We get to the next maze (i’m determined to ‘muscle’ through, but then Liam, makes the executive decision to kindly ask the ‘greeting ghoul,‘ to call a manager, & get us back to the bar. She came and got us and we were walked straight OUT of the terror, to immediate safety….I had baby ‘panic & dash’ bruises all over me, my knees were covered in soil and yeah…I was still in my shit shoes.

I ruined everything. Haha.

(Saying that, both boys were filled with utter fear anyway. It’s not like, we were okay. Haha. We were drained of utter life and filled with complete fear…and I knew they weren’t okay, because they were trying to ‘swag‘ it out, like were we all safe and dandy.)

WE WERE PANICKED!!!

If ANY HUMAN, ran up to us, at that point (she could’ve been a flippin’ lollipop lady)…..I tell you, I would’ve probably passed out or opted for dying, because it would’ve been a less traumatic. Haha.)

But that’s what Scare Kingdom is about! It ain’t Disney Land….unless you’re a twisted F****.

We’re walked away to safety, back to the bar…which was now filled with ‘newly arrived’ celebs, ready to take on, the terror mazes.

(I just drank because I couldn’t deal with life, at this point.)

The gorgeous Marlie Weekender’ tinkers up to me. (I love Marlie, she makes me smile. I met her at an event in Leeds, in the Summer.) I feel a flick of my hair from behind and there she is, with her ‘Off Big Brother’ boyfriend Sam Chaloner, a cute blond girl, who I think was his sister and Callum Weekender, who’s about to hit our screens on ‘Celebs Go Dating.’ 

I think I was pissed by this point, as everything just seems to be in ‘flash back.’

I talked to the owner? I talked the bartender? I talked to Aaron? I saw tons of people from ‘Lucky7 PR,’ who I watch daily on Instagram …Like Sean Pratt, his girlfriend Jordi, Glamour Model Grace Teal…(He’s fit. They’re beautiful..) I saw Saira Choudry, who’s currently on ‘No Offence.’  I remember her from Corrie.

Then I flipping got pulled over, to what we all called ‘The inside sex dungeon.’ (It’s the epitome of terror, which overrides any terror you’ve experienced so far on the farm…Oh and it’s niche is twisted, psycho sexuality.) 

Kyle’s already headed in. (I love how brave he was. I love brave dudes.) He was the first one in…ever! All these ghouls, who you couldn’t see, where slamming shit and screeching…

‘Come in, little boy, we’re waiting for you…’

..behind a small metal door.

I’d ONLY agreed to go in IF I was able to be photographed/ filmed. Lol. I’m such a diva. Haha. But whatever…I was terrified.

Me: ‘It’s optional. I don’t really want to do it, for the good of my own health. I’m scared. I want a bit of ‘look at me.’

Staff: ‘Wait here…’

Of course, knowing my luck…It was all fine and dandy…and before you know it, i’m stood at the entrance of a horror, SEX dungeon.

Yipppppppppppeeeeee! Happy Friday!

All i could see were my friends stood behind a barrier. A metal doorway, with a flap that had been opened. I heard screams, screeches, evil voices, beckoning me in and saw a creepy looking barbie, human, was looked naked, but was wearing nothing but tights, a blond wig, with sewn on eyes, nose and lips…that didn’t move.

I was not okay. I F****** SHAT MYSELF.

I just stood at the entrance, with my hand over my face shouting..

I CAN’T DO IT. I’M NOT DOING IT. I CAN’T ******* DO IT. 

Everyone’s now *egging* me on…Liam’s shouting…

‘It’s NINE MINUTES CHRISSIE. ONLY NINE MINUTES TO GET THROUGH.’ 

Me: ‘Nine minutes. Nine minutes…’

I looked at Kyle…and said…

‘Was it okay…?’

Kyle: ‘No…It’s…’

Liam: ‘Don’t tell her that!’

Kyle: ‘9 Minutes… You’ll be okay. I did it. It’s harsh. But just do it..’

I’m causing such a delay, that the amazing staff had to tell some of the ‘horror actors’  to ‘calm down, back up and clear the door way…’

Yes, I was that pathetic. Hahah.

A lady then says…

‘You have a SAFE WORD (She tells me it.) You shout it out. Everything stops. We’re all watching.’

Don’t know how it happened?Yet, as life goes…I ended up on all fours, about to crawl through the entrance. (Yes, you had to CRAWL THROUGH IT.) I *paused* but they were already sick of me, I’m sure because I felt a *push* on my bum (lol) and that was it..

..the door *slammed shut* behind me…

The only way out, was to get all the way through the dungeon or shout my ‘safe word.’ (Which of course my northern pride wouldn’t let happen.)

Now, I’m not going to tell you what happened in the psycho, sex dungeon and Scare Kingdom. All I will say, is that I SCREAMED for my life, NON STOP.

Liam: ‘All you could hear for the first minute was Chrissie, screaming her head off, whilst trapped in that dungeon & I was outside.’ 

I went from room to kinky room, madly. Infact almost reluctantly. It felt so fast. So energized. Everything around me was ‘non stop’ and so real. It felt really real, like i’d been kidnapped. I fell over, TWICE.

It was intense. It played with my head. It was a nightmare and all I wanted was for the madness to end. I was in a torture chamber. I didn’t have a gin. My eyes saw the most terrible things…and when 9 minutes must have been up, I found myself running out of a curtain, back to safety…and finally without a mini sack over my head. 🙂

WTF! Hahah. OH MY GOD!!!

As soon as I ran out, I felt an entire RUSH of utter bliss flow through me. I could breathe I was free. It was like I had conquered the world, in 9 minutes. It was the best feeling of achievement. I faced my fear.

I flipping did it.

I could’ve done it again. Funny that? It was THE MOST TERRIFYING Halloween moment EVER, It was SICK. It was twisted. It was naughty! But that’s what it’s there for, so it in my mind, it was done INCREDIBLY WELL. It was created beautifully, by the kings of utter horror.

You just can’t miss this, you have to say you’ve done it….

As I walked out, I saw ‘Real Housewife’ Christine McGuinness (Paddy McGuinness’s wife) on the red carpet, doing her pap pictures, before the run… It ended up in the Daily Mail.

Something tells me, she was about to find out, that she wasn’t in Cheshire anymore…

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As soon as I got back to The New Osborne Hotel, in Blackpool, I drank a bunch of wine, chatted to a guy named Lee, drank loads at a Casino with Liam, Matt and his beautiful girlfriend…and then passed out, in my bed sheets.

That’s how my weekend started…

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Will you still love me….

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I had such a ‘drama’ Monday, after the most blissful & peaceful weekend of ‘family.’ I’ve got so much going on, that i’m filling myself with a delicious flourish of stress. It’s kinda topped up with that beautiful thing we call ‘anxiety,’ simply because i’m terrified. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me? So, i’m gonna go with hormones?

I’m back on the telly shortly…That’s worrying me. I’ve got a lot to organise with the kids…That’s worrying me. I have shoots galore and auditions coming out my ‘hooty..’ That’s worrying me. My love life is *whizzing* around me, almost madly…I don’t even know what’s going on? Yes. I get a lot of attention. Yes, I’m single.

However, I’m noticing that, if I ever begin to feel for anyone, I get stressed out, because giant *CAUTION* signs go up everywhere. I’ve always had a shit love life. So, it’s scary. Plus,  I’m absolutely emotional, so to me, it only means ‘danger.‘ I do not ever want to get my heartbroken again….EVER. I tread carefully. (Well…fuck that. I ‘stiletto.’)

I have travels and schedules and places to influence…Everything’s a juggle…Sometimes, I panic and I can’t even breathe. (Cue: Drama 😉 )

But the weird thing is, i’m HAPPY. I’m really happy and maybe being so happy, or so lucky, makes me worry because LET ME TELL YOU, my life hasn’t been so easy….Haha. It’s laughable.

Basically, I’m scared of everything right now, because i’m having to pinch myself…and I need to ‘Man up,’ count my blessings and get on with it, with panache.

Anyway…

At the weekend, I did Meadowhall with The Wunna’s and Ruby. (Junior was at his Dads.) We were pretty much treated like Meadowhall shopping royalty (and I thank you for that, because I don’t even know why?) It did feel wonderful though.

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We shopped and stopped at Wagamama’s. Then after cocktail refuels, toy stores, makeup counters, new hair (we all need those extra few inches,) and my brand new chakra beads…Life felt almost perfect.

Ruby: ‘Mum. You’re chakra beads are not working. You’re CRAZY. You’re still nuts. They don’t work.’

(She is right, though. Even though I told her to ‘shush.‘ At this rate, i’m gonna need to see Buddha and get blessed by monks, or something! Maybe i’m just not meant for ‘Total Enlightenment.’ Maybe, i’m meant to live this ridiculous life of pathetic glory, for your entertainment… Haha.)

I’m starting to believe that…

‘Hey Destiny…You’ve fucked me over. You’re off the Christmas card list! You’re chilling on the naughty list, with Cupid and a few Pretty Boy exes from 2004.’

This is how I feel right now…

Like I’ve drank 42 energy drinks, had a bottle of rum, taken all my clothes off, and then thrown MYSELF to the lions.

Then…because i’m not at all mental….

…I lost the car…I always lose the car…Oh! Wait!! I don’t mean?Ugh. I’m rambling. I didn’t REALLY lose the car! I kinda ‘misplaced’ it? Y’know, when you can’t quite remember where you left it? 🙂 My Mum, drove home, because obviously, I guzzled Aperol Spritzies…after The Disney Store.

Fair enough, there was lots of wine, brunches and fun over the weekend. I checked in with my friends…briefly. Got on top of work. Then just relaxed with the kids. However….one of my favourite moments of the weekend, was the ‘school mum..’ catch up…

(There was a kids birthday party over the weekend…)

Miss.Murphy: ‘What are you wearing!?! Lol. Who wears glitter shoes to a kids party..?? Haha.’

Me: ‘Shut up. Lol. These are my driving shoes.’

Sam: ‘Does Ruby want Pizza?’

Me: ‘It’s like the Real Housewives of Yorkshire…’

Mum: ‘I got asked to be on Real Housewives of Marbella, a while ago, but I said no…I’m too boring, for it!’

Me: ‘You said NO! As if you said NO!! I can’t believe you said no. I would’ve moved to Marbella, to have done it. Haha.’

( I live for that show…It calms me, when I’m stressed. Yet, so does the occasional Jeremy Kyle episode…? So, yeah…I’m mental. Ignore me.)

Other Mum: ‘Oh yeah. I’m gonna be flying away with him.’

Miss. Murphy: ‘You’re actually going now! What about…?’

Other Mum: ‘Oh…he doesn’t know..’

Miss.Murphy: ‘You said he was fat and bald…But he’s not at all?’

Me: ‘How have I sat here for an hour and not known it’s your birthday today!!’ 

Miss. Murphy: ‘So, are you seeing your date again?’

I never thought i’d be a traditional ‘school mum.’ Yet, there’s just something about this group of Mamas, that is filled with the ‘sexy.’ They’re actually not traditional, school mums, in rain macs. They’re alive. They’re fun. They have designer shoes that read ‘LOVE.’ Louis Vuitton handbags and possible stables…’

They’re, what I call ‘Prosecco Mums,’ and I love them, madly. I’m like the tragic misfit of the bunch. The single, no husband, disorganized one, with a suggestive Insta profile…

We’re all really different from one another. Yet, w’re all great women. Confident women. Great mothers and well, I just really enjoy they’re company.

Then all our kids ruined everything and shoved tall plastic, slush palm trees, in our faces… 

At that point, the gossip got censored…

My inbox is * pinging,* almost every minute, with people asking me about my love life and my last date etc…

All I can tell you is that, the guy that I did the Manchester Airport date with, was wonderful. He says he wants to see me again, and I definitely will. I found him really sexy and confident. He’s smart and thoughtful. I liked him. I’find him interesting…I want to know lots about him…I’ll definitely be meeting him again. (I’m only one ‘meeting’ in. So it’s all ‘early doors.’)

I’m just treading carefully…Like I said, I’m not bothered about getting my heart broken, right now, when I have so much going on…

I eventually want to fall in love. I’m a true romantic. I want to be swept off my feet. Adored. Respected. And y’know, in that one meet up, my date was that! He was a REAL MAN, which made me notice that I’d not only been looking in the wrong place for love, but i’d wasted a lot of my time, on ‘little boys.’  At 37 years old, I don’t need to be doing that!

When it comes to love…

…this time..because obviously i’ve been married three times and had numerous flings and relationships..I want to PROPERLY fall in love. I want it to be stable and forever…with no stress. No drama.

And I do want to just say, that even though on paper, i’ve dated, romanced, flinged, loved, married, divorced, sexed..and well…just all sorts, with men, all over the world.

DO KNOW THAT….

… I never did all that because I was a floozy. That’s one of the biggest misconceptions about me. I’m a love bunny. There were options. I was young. A glamour model. Off the telly…Growing up in Hollywood…All sorts.

Yet, I never was and still not a man eater. I’m non judgemental. I’m modern. Yet when it comes to love, I’m quite ‘fairytale.’ I’m quite traditional…I’m a hopeless romantic, with a capital ‘H.’

I’m tragic…

So, every single time, I went into these encounters, with men, boys, gents, or misfits..

I always hoped (like any girl or woman,) that they would love me forever.

It just didn’t and still hasn’t quite worked out that way….

It’s actually only when I suddenly realise, that they guy i’ve been chatting to, or dating, only see’s me as  a ‘bed notch’ or someone they daren’t date… It was only THEN…at that point, when I HAVE to  file the encounter under ‘casual,‘ and ‘take it on the chin,’ without being embarrassed.

So i’m accidentally, a sassy, sexy, modern day woman.

The ‘Brand’ goes alongside that….and that’s fine with me, as it makes me very ‘now.’ It gives me the necessary ‘street cred.’ I’m swag. I’m cool…I’m…Blah, blah….

You get it…

Y’see, when it comes to WORK, I am that. I’m fire. I’m determined. I’m ambitious. I’m a glamourous, kitty DIVA, sprayed over, in solid steel, showers of glitter. Champagne pops around me and naughty winks, fill my walk way…

When it comes to love…I’m the opposite.

I’m not someone who really wants random casual sex. I love sex. But i don’t play a numbers game. I want to feeel a connection.

Plus, If i’m honest, I can have sex with anyone… I have an inbox full of offers…almost every few minutes.

That doesn’t make me feel mighty. It’s flattering. I appreciate the ‘adoration..’ Of course I do….

If anything it stresses me out, because I think, ‘how the hell can I have so much attention and not find Mr.Right. That ONE MAN, who will truly love and treasure me forever?’

I’m ready to fall in love…

I’m just scared to….

It makes me anxious…

Anyway…

Away from all that…Sunday morning was great because before Meadowhall, I got to chatter to Lil’ Sam Reece. I shouldn’t call him ‘Lil’ as he’s pretty grown. He’s a good guy.  I’ve referred to him as ‘Tats’ on this blog before.

I like waking up on a Sunday morning to a Reecy phone ‘ping.’ We’ll just have brief morning banter. ..then get on with life. We chatter in ‘spits & spots’ a lot. We both always have really shit love lives…We’re both ‘Yorkshire.’ We actually get on well. It’s easy. We wired the same way. We have the same banter.. This Sunday we talked ‘car bonnets/hotels and flat caps.’ 

I was actually gonna meet him for drinks..But I ended up doing Meadowhall instead and he ended up doing boy drinks…

But he’s a good guy. So I have a lot of respect for our Sam. He’s a good buddy…I’d see Sam as the kinda guy, i’d go for a drink with and kiss in the elevator when no one was looking. Haha!

(That hasn’t happened, by the way, before you all get excited. But i’d definitely kiss him in an elevator…It’d be a waste of ‘sexy’ people, if not. I don’t like to waste sexy people. You only live once.)

Right! I’m off!

Have a fantastic Tuesday!!

I love you.

Chrissie x

ps/ I’m about to step up my game…So strap in!

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Tats, Dates & What I Fancy…..?

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Hiya!!! We’ve made it to FRIDAY!

FRINALLY, Baby!!!

(As my five year old son, Junior..would say. 😉 ) 

Grab ya best nipple tassles and get ya *shimmie* on point!! (Ruby, my daughter, would probably say that.)

It is THE WEEKEND!! (Well, almost.) But it’s important to have a weekend mentality, before it kicks in, because otherwise, you’re not only dull, like the broken custard cream at the bottom of the biscuit tin. You’re also not embracing the excitement, to come and that alone, in Wunna Land…

is a SIN!!

I love Fridays. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I have a Monday to Friday kinda job? I reckon I just enjoy celebrations of any kind. So fuck it. It’s FRIDAY! I’m in. I’m there!

Shake ya…*I’ll let you fill in the blank.*

I’m on rest today, due to my body being on the mend. I know, from my Insta story, it looks like I rest all the time. Hahah. But believe me, they’re just snippets of moments, that are filmed for YOU, either on the spot, but more often than not, FILMED PREVIOUSLY. 😉 A lot of work is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land right now, with the old glammy career and the jazzy business of life.

That is my business…LIFE.

(..ofcourse done glamourously, with a dash of wit and showbusiness.) 

There’s telly, there’s modeling, running a company and influencing. Now that the babies are beginning to do their ‘ting,’ it’s doubley busy…But by the end of the month, they should be signing up to an agent, which will take a lot of pressure of MOI!

I have so much to do and I didn’t even have my morning GIN!!

‘It’s not like you to do a morning school run, without a wine in your hand, Chrissie. Haha..’

‘Wow, you parked like shit…’

Anyway!!!

Lots of you already know from following my ‘socials..’ But recently, there was a Wunna Fan, that wanted to get my attention, so offered up a game of dares, on my insta story, during my daily ‘Ask Me Anything’ thing. I went in all ‘Big Balls’ and dared him to get my initials tattooed upon him…

Yesterday morning, I found out that HE ACTUALLY DID IT. Hahah. I saw a video sitting in my inbox the evening before. I think it was Wednesday. I didn’t dare even look, so I left it until Thursday morning. Lol.

YESTERDAY, was actually a really good day. I felt really fun! I felt really sexy! I felt really appreciated by everyone. My Insta stories are getting really popular now, because i’m being more playful and putting my back into it, a little more.

Being ME

And as the tale goes, it seems the best thing you can do, is be yourself. I know that sounds cliched. But like I always say, no one in the entire world can do it better. Plus, at 37, I don’t want to be someone who’s always so worried about saying the wrong thing, or censoring the juicy bits, that make me who I am. Some brands don’t like it. Some do.

Therefore, I’m full blown committing to just letting loose and well, knowing what I’m doing. I don’t think people should tell people HOW TO influence something…They already know what works for them, their niche and their audience.

Fuck! I was meant to tell you about the Tattoo guy.

Yes! He wanted to win a date with me…and totally got my INITIALS tattooed on his thumbs!

Chick friend: ‘You literally have the best life…I can’t get my own husband to do the fucking dishes, let alone a stranger TATTOO ME on his thumbs!!’

Hahaha! Love it! Well done, Boy!

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So, now I can either go on a date with him, or subject myself to a dare. (One that he has already given to me, as an option.) 

I don’t ever learn do I? Fun, just gets the better of me…and that’s it. I’m a swine. But, to me, that’s what life is about. No one does it quite as well. Hahaha. I showed Ruby his tattoo and her face just dropped! 🙂 Junior said…

‘Why is he nuts?’ 🙂

Haha…

But, I think, it’s amazing. I was talking to my friend Liam about it yesterday. He’s just come off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show. I was doing the school run, with my phone to my ear in the playground, waiting for the kids, as I was telling him.

He was telling me about how he met some guy (he’s gay by the way,) in Bristol, bar labelled ‘OMG…’

Liam: ‘Chrissie, it was called OMG! for fucks sake! I saw this guy, he looked young, had a lip ring, so I ordered a jager bomb to be down with the kids and all that. I had to walk off afterward, because when I kissed him, all his friends cheered and I thought gosh, how young is everyone in here? He wasn’t even my type.’ 

Chrissie: ‘You need a man…not a kid. I like A MAN. I’ve dated too many,  not grown yet…..boys…’

Liam: ‘Put it this way, he wasn’t worth jeopardizing my type for…Hahah. I love you  guys, Chrissie…*Well, he’s not really successful and he definitely doesn’t look like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, but he seems lovely…* Hahahah!’

Chrissie: ‘This is why i’m always single…’

Liam: ‘Shit! You have that date next week, don’t you!?!’

And YES, I DO. But i’m not gonna call it a date, because I don’t know him? In fact, like HE first suggested…It’s a ‘Friendly’ meet up. Makes it sound lovely and less intense. You never really know, until you meet them, do you? A personality is KEY to me and it’s something that you can’t hide in person…even when you try to.

Can’t believe i’ve only just caught this clue…Lol.

I’m a personality girl now, in my old age. Lol. Yes, i’m still shallow. 😉 Yes, I LOVE ROMANCE. However, as long as I find them sexy, i’m good. I’m always gonna go on, how well someone treats me. How they make me feel. He’s been great, so far…He’s really humble and really ..decent to me…

(T Bone, IGNORED my last two messages. Cute. Lol. He keeps posting photos on his ‘story’ …of views. I’M A REALLY GOOD VIEW!!!! Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open…ANYTHING! HAHAHA. 🙂 ) 

But whatever…

Tuesday will be fun! It’s like an adventure and i’ll be heading to Liverpool.

‘The Gent’ (as i’ve been calling him,) has been quite attentive. He sent me a couple voice notes yesterday simply saying that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he and caught me up, with what he did during the day with his son. (Awww.)

All good! Roll on Tuesday.

I’m in Doncaster all day tomorrow with Ruby & Junior…at The Frenchgate Centre. Hopefully, i’ll be seeing you there!

Ps/ Ruby saw a ‘sexy’ photo of me online this morning, by accident. It was just the one I posted this morning on my Instagram…She I only had stockings and a white faux fur on…and she said…

It’s like…

Thank you for following my diary. Be you. Live it! Do you! Be happy!

Chrissie x

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All the F****

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PR: ‘I don’t know what the F*** you think you’re doing, with this whole impromptu *win a date for a dare* thing?  Lol…You can’t just go around doing his dares, if they aren’t….’

ME: ‘It’s fun! It just happened by accident on my *Ask Me Anything.* Don’t blame me! Blame Insta! Haha. He hasn’t done it yet! So far, it’s just banter. Relax.’

PR: ‘If he wins a date…’

Me: ‘He probably will, as I’d rather have a couple rums, than subject myself to disturbing Tom Foolery.’

PR: ‘Stop, fucking talking over me. Haha. If he wins a date…You’re taking security. You don’t even know him. I’m coming too.’

Me: ‘Ugh. It’s not a PR operation. *Oh! Hi, Winner! Meet my PR & this giant mountain of a man, who will head butt you, if you annoy me…Romance is alive.’ 

PR: ‘Does it look like he’s gonna do it?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He looks tattooey. He even sent me a picture of what he’s thinking about getting done! He looks like he gets inked every 2 weeks… 🙂 🙂 🙂 ‘

And with a roll of her eyes and wiggle from Wunna Land, laughter filled the room, after a three second *pause* of fear and worry.

People worry too much.

Don’t!! It’s STICKY.

I’m an adventurer. I’m a life spirit. Even though i’m much more sensible and tame in my old age…The flirty 30’s. The wild streak, is just something, you can’t scrub off with a loofah. No matter how hard to scrubble.

It’s these moments that bring ‘magic,’ back to your life. It’ll be a memory. A forever, memory! Plus, I think he SHOULD get rewarded for being so bold. Being so fun! I’m grateful for people like him.

I love excitement. I live for it….Of course, with a side of love and a ‘swing’ of a great handbag. 

To be honest…

..I actually, think i’ve been accidentally, CLEVER about all this. Yes, it happened by accident, but  I decided to EMBRACE IT. Lots of people don’t other. I try and engage and appreciate, ALL the time.

I’m an entertainer. But I’m an entertainer, a model, a blogger…of the NEW kind…FRESH SLIDES…

I’m the innovative kind, where YOU can actually come be a PART OF MY ‘SHOW.’ Be a part of Wunna Land. Do life properly and connect with me, as our life paths cross. This blog has literally turned into a written word, reality show. It’s interactive…It’s modern. It’s what I used to talk about 10 years ago..But now it’s kinda happening.

It’s cool…

That Psychic in West Hollywood..2004. At 7.19 pm. It was  Tuesday night in LA.

( I was in jeans and this shit read belly top, that read ‘Manteaser‘ on it, instead of ‘Malteasers. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I WEARING!! And why did I start the blog with a F***, if I was just going to go ahead and swear anyway? Haha. Why do I bother, trying to be decent?)

Psychic: ‘You will start to write something, that will be the something that will eventually put your name in lights. Big lights… Opportunities, are gonna come your way..’

‘I’m a model. But I want to be a Popstar. I’ve just recorded a song with Capital Records..and..’

‘That will never happen. You’ll stay a model. You’ll actually become an actress. That is what you’re naturally good at. You’re a good model, because you’re a phenomenal actress. You’re a talent. But you’ll start to write something…and that is what will make you.You’re going to be a star. All I can see, is your name in lights…Do you have a diary?’

‘No…Anyway, what about my love life..’

( I walked out feeling unfulfilled.) 

WHY DO I ALWAYS RAMBLE!!!???!

Right. So yes! Lots of work. Lots of attention on my social stories right now. I thank you for that and all your messages of support! I put a lot into them…and I know it all seems ‘banter,’ but I do work hard for a ‘like‘ or a bit of ‘look at me.’ 

Hahaha…

..and without you responding, I wouldn’t have a story to tell. That’s why I love my ‘Ask me anything‘ because everyday, I get to learn about YOU,  from your questions, as you learn about ME. I actualyl never feel lonely because of it…

I love people…

Plus, with me NOT being as ‘out and about‘ as usual, due to my 21 day thing, it helps to keep my juicy flow of banter… alive.

I’m on Day 13! It’s almost getting harder now.

21 Days!!! Just Breathe OUT, Wunna!

(Lots of messages about this. But I just want to do it privately, for now. Then I’ll make you applaud me, once I know I’m steady, on good solid ground. 🙂 Oh and don’t fret. It’s not anything crazy. I’m not a massive druggie or anything. It’s just a habit, a wee little habit, that I needed to kick.)

Okay, to my love life…

(There’s literally not enough hours in the fucking day. I keep running through, all the things that I need to do, before the school run!! Utilize time! Utilize, time!  

So! Remember that I told you that I was going to meet ‘The Gent’ on the 18th, for a ‘friendly’ meet up. Well, it’s kinda like a date…but without the rigid formality. My chick friend wanted him to stand me up, because she wanted me to delusionally pine over ‘T Bone.’

I sent ‘T Bone’ a message yesterday. He opened and maybe with a shrug of disinterest, he didn’t respond. He had better life ‘tings’ to do. Haha.. He usually replies…Briefly. So he’s either just focusing on work, doesn’t fancy me anymore, busy, or is with someone…

Simples…

Break it down, Chicks!

*Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…*

‘The Older Gent’ who sent me his first message a couple weeks ago, got in touch with me over the last few days and has no intention of ‘standing up’ Wunna Land. In fact, he seems pretty organised. He seems pretty ‘together.’ Pretty stable and grown. He seems reliable. He works hard. He kept his word. He’s a father. Ex Pro Footballer. Retired. Now a pundit.  But most of all, he seems to care about my potential ‘maybe’ needs? He’s attentive. He’s nurturing. He’s really intelligent, without being boring. He’s flying in for work, from a different nearby country.

He seems lovely…

…and that’s refreshing, because the guys I meet, usually care about themselves FIRST, before anyone..Well any chick, that is. Or maybe, it’s just me? I’ve never really encountered any decent gent, (aside from one) who knew how to care for me, or look after me, without a prompt. Or without reading from the ‘Charm Script.’

Maybe that comes with age?

No, that’s wrong. I’m not ageist. It comes from life experience. Being lovely and respectful is just something you are. It’s not something you do because of an age.

T Bone is actually ALSO, lovely and respectful. But, right now, he needs to do him…and IS. I can’t knock him for that. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind dying a legend. Deservedly. However, what he doesn’t realize is that he already will. A great deal of people, including myself, respect what he’s already achieved in his life. I’m inspired by him.

(He’s occupation is also…football. He’s moved to the other side of the world, right now.) 

Anyway…That’s T Bone…aka The Swirl.

Back to ‘The Gent’….

On the 18th,  I’m going to meet The Gent in Liverpool, after he’s flown in and worked. I’ve never met before? I don’t know him?

Me: I need a new outfit and new hair!

Lizzie P: ‘Why do you need to spend so much money on looking good, when he’s only going to treat you badly, in the end? They always start off being lovely. T Bone was FILLED with loveliness and excitement at first.’

Me: ‘Hi. I’m Chrissie. I’m a glamour puss. You know that! I don’t live LIFE, like that! I want to look nice. If it goes well, then great. If it doesn’t then..Hey I looked fabulous! He’ll remember that! Haha.’ 

Lizzie P: ‘We’ll see…’

Then she shakes he head at me and walks off. Lol.

So much is going on? Real Dates. Old Flames. New Habit Breaks. Tattoo challenges.. Insta Love. All the work. Good friends. Family. Babies…

All sorts…

I kinda need a vino…

Chrissie x

Ps: Miss. (Does PR) Murphy, was on a late night train from Yorkshire to Essex last night, after approximately ‘seven wines’ and got excited about my MadLipz, Voice Over App. An app where you can put your own voice and words, over famous movie & tv scenes. I’m addicted. Mine have been ACE.  She downloaded the app. on the train, last night,en route to Essex, after a…

‘WTF is this??’

It ended like this…

‘Shit! I just opened it on the train and it was some violent swearing scene! Hahaha.’

I’m sure she was fine. Everyone loves a ‘seven wines and swearing’ combo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Massages, Kittens & Maybe ‘Nookie’ Please….

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Morning, my little licks of ‘love festival.‘ How are you? I truly hope life is treating you well and if not, I truly hope you have enough ‘dollar’ to buy yourself booze. If not…may ‘The Gods’ look after you, as I send you all my love, from the bottom of my heart…

Is a morning wine acceptable?

I’m calm. I’m at peace. I’m excited for the future. I’m casually stalking swirls online and I need a massage. I really need one. I mean, at this point, I’d date anyone who was good at a rub down, making cocktails and carrying really heavy things.

(I’d also like ‘nookie.’ That would be good too. But not just with anyone…because I’m just not like that and well nothing is worse than wasting your ‘nookie’ time, on someone who wasn’t worth it.) 

Hear me now…

(Why have I called it ‘nookie’ and not just sex? )

Yet, it’s 9.42 am. I’m naked in Yorkshire. I’m wrapped in flamingo bed covers…and i’m blogging on my beaten up pink notebook. (I spent last night doing my Goldfish impression on Insta, simply because  a mad amount of people, kept DM’ing me about it..So it’s anything for the ‘gram.’ Lol)

‘Rocco’ my kitten is sprawled out on the window sill, all comfy, like he’s Joan Collins. Ruby’s laid next to me…STILL ASLEEP, with all of her ‘half fro’ out. She’s looks like she’s out of some kind of swaggy nursery rhyme. She also keeps waking up, opening her eyes and whispering..

‘Instagram…’

(At least I can confirm that she’s mine.)

On a downer…Cos we all love a downer…

Lots of my friends have messaged me recently, all stressed out because their own version of life, isn’t panning out exactly the way they wished it to, right now.

Tough times are temporary. Tough people are forever. Learn from both.

Have faith that everything’s going to be alright. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be..

I mean, I know things can be difficult at times, and i’ve been through some shocking times of ‘ah dee dumbilies.’ Yet, I sent one of my guy friends a message the other day…simply because i hadn’t checked in on them in a while…

It went a bit like this..

Me: ‘Hey! Making sure you’re dandy. How are you, lovely?’

Mate: ‘Awful. Things are shit.’

Lovely!! Nice to see, the cheery juice got passed around.

(When people say that, I always think that their trauma must be over something bad, yet small, because when something BIG happens, something that has shocked your system, so utterly much, that you become kinda numb inside. Well, I’ve always noticed, that my friends, will usually respond with i’m fine.‘ I know I would.)

All on the same page then.

So, being the little beam of ‘warm hearted,’ positive ‘sass,’ that I am…I kinda ‘ducked,’ then ‘weaved’ and did that thing where I pretended that  hadn’t read the message.

And I know that sounds selfish. But it’s actually not.

I couldn’t be MORE compassionate. People develop when they go through testing times. That’s how I became tough. That’s actually glued together and filled world with love. 

Plus, I’m in a really happy place right now and taking on the stress of others, when that stress has nothing to do with me, is not how I got happy.

In the words of my beautiful friend Vicky:

‘Don’t burden yourself with other peoples crazy monkies. It’s not your Circus.’

Safety first.

Anyway, lots of wonderful things are currently happening. I’m obviously working a great deal right now. I’m filming. I’m feeling good. I’m loving being mum. Ruby & Junior make my world complete. However, I have so much whizzing around my mind that I can’t sleep at all.

It’s not a bad thing. I’m just like that.

I’m being asked to influence some of the most beautiful restaurants and exciting cocktail bars…and even though Wunna Land is still growing, I’m feeling pretty lucky. I’m hopefully on my way up.

Plus, I am back on your telly SOON.

You don’t have too long to wait now…

(I’ve just had this weird flash back of KatyP, on a dog lease, at a beer garden and Canadian Lindsey restraining her, from the neck.)

Me: ‘Hmm…cute. Anyway, I’ve had such a busy day.’

KatyP: ‘Wow, it took you literally seconds to make everything all about you.’

Kinky.

I’m also at ‘Singles Night‘ at Kitty Cafe, Leeds, on Sept 21st, in the city centre. You should all come and find love with me…whilst stroking the cutest kittens in all the land. I mean, f all else fails, i got to strut about for insta pics, with a kitten in my hand, right? 😉 Imagine, if I did actually find love there…I feel like I need back up…I need a chick to come with me…

Email: info@kittycafe.co.uk  (Or call them) 

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I had a really lovely ‘bump into,’ the other night. I bumped into old friend ‘Passionate Jaz and ‘Baby Arms Tom.’

Jaz is ace, because she’s warm and lovely, yet filled with a fizz of utter feistiness. (We actually refer to is as ‘passion.’) We’re kinda like cocktails that either smooth’ their way down, or BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE. Depends on how you shook us. 😉

Jaz: ‘I’m like a sinking ship. I’m hit or miss. One end of the ship survives, the other end always dies. Depends on how I wake up…as to what side you get..’

Tom, is like a blond Ken Doll…He is literally the NICEST, most POLITEST human, you will ever meet in your life. YOU CANNOT DISLIKE TOM. It’s impossible.

‘Do you know how hard it is to run to the pub in flip flops..!!’

Anyway…

He got really Peroni pissed, decided he couldn’t see, walked into a door, in the rain, stood in a doorway, pretending to call a taxi, forgot to call a taxi, I called his taxi and then he glazed over in a warm delight, of utter happy Peroni…. numbness?

He definitely slept on the sofa.

Saturday was great!

So much fun.

I can’t wait to do it again.

Heads up…

I have dinner at Teppanyaki & Gusto coming up shortly…I’m in the mood for cocktails…I’m all about Leeds right now (the service is getting better and better)…and well today is a Mummy/Ruby day, as Junior has tottered off to his Papa’s.

Just so you remember…

You are one decision away from a completely different life. Choose wisely. Live largely. Swirl in a buzz of excitement, always.

You really DO only live once. Do not fuck up the merry windows of opportunity that you are presented with…they can change your life…

When you do and that window closes, it is so much harder to crack it back open…

Please believe that anything can happen! All you have to is try….

Chrissie,

Thank you for following my life…

Ps/ I must be really happy right now, because you know how I hardly ever eat a lot. I’m a swine for it. I DO eat…but only nibble ‘here and there’ really. I graze. I never fancy a big meal. Yesterday…was the first day, after a really wonderful day, that I actually turned around, looked at my mum (who had popped over to mine) and said…

‘I’m really hungry.’ 🙂

(She beamed.)

It’s literally been months! 🙂

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Babies, Soul Mates & Welcomes into Wunna Land

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Lots has been going on! I’ve kinda plummeted into a super busy time and Wunna Land has now picked up speed. I’m sorry there hasn’t been a blog daily, yet hopefully you’re all following my ‘socials,’ which kinda takes the pressure off a little. Lol.

I’m almost back on your telly. I’ve started all my PR shenanigans. I’m influencing like the crackers (which I’m actually really grateful for.) I’m currently filming ‘Welcome To Wunna Land’ which is my new IG series, my new IG show and I’m actually really looking forward to having you truly peek into my world.

IT’S INSANE.

But yes, It’s not as easy as everyone thinks. It’s actually quite a bonanza, as I juggle my career, my business, life as a single mum, film new shows, shoot in bikinis, audition with everything crossed, try to handle a social life, maybe handle a love life and let previously filmed shows air…

ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

The babies, Ruby & Junior, are now (after being offered bits of opportunity) are now ALSO filming through Summer and also at the very beginning of their ‘influencey’ careers. (I’m really proud of them,) so in TRUE Wunna Land style, PLEASE DO, take a moment to show them some love and FOLLOW their instagram page..

@RubyandJunior

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@RubyandJunior

I’m feeling a new chapter. I can feel it in my bones. Luckily, i’m great at new chapters, so I’m filled with utter excitement.

I will say that I’m getting hit on left, right, centre and inbetween…and from every angle, that an boy may come from. I’m flattered. Yet, not that easy a pull. Plus, I think everyone ‘chats me up’ in the wrong manner. You have to know me really well, to know what will make my loins tingle, or my heart strings tuggalug. Lol.

It’s kinda been same lines, different faces…

I’m kinda pretty schooled, when it comes to the dealing with the advances of gentlemen. So it internally makes me giggle, as I watch them struggle their way through the process. 😉 I’ll always be lovely. I’m that way inclined. Yet, I have heard every single line, and witnessed every single approach ever. You’ll know if I fancy you, because I WILL just flipping tell you. Lol.

It’s as simple as that.

The best way to approach me, is by being forward…If you ‘dance’ around me i’ll just get bored or merrily zone out.

Plus, I look for a man who isn’t afraid to move forward, because it shows emotional security and confidence and fucking hell, he’s gonna need it.

Let’s just say there’s been a lot of ‘dancers’ (and i’m not used to that, as growing up in LA, the boys just went for what they wanted) and when you ‘dance,’ it makes me think you’re a wee bit afraid (which is fine, I get scared too and it’s shit.) But worst of all, it may make me think you’ve already judged me. (Oooh!)

ME NO LIKEY. I don’t like that at all.

The GREAT thing is that i’ve managed to hang out with my bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ That girl is my soul mate. I nearly died and cried, when I saw her, because she just means so much to me. She is the ONLY PERSON that I tell EVERYTHING TOO…without censor. (And there’s always the truth and then there’s the REAL truth, isn’t there. lol)  No bullshit, no drama, just truths and so much love. We will never ever judge each other, along any part of the way…and when living in my current world, she is exactly what I need.

I love you.

(So, if you are wanting to grill me, and i’m fine with that, most of the time….JUST kidnap her instead, as she probably knows more about me, than I even know myself. Lol) 

She’s going to be my Giuseppe…one day.

(You don’t get that. But we do, so it’s dandy. 😉 )

I literally got THE BEST snapchat messages from Firmonnell, Hustle Barbie, Double B and Jonesez last night….and it made me die with glee.

I think Hustle sat in a bin and Jonsez got his nipple out? Double B looked hoochie by a BBQ.

MY FAVES

I LOVE YOU.

A great deal of drinks have been consumed. (I’m a good time girl and I enjoy spending my free time with friends…over drinks.) Yet, when i’m on my influencing and filming travels, it’s great because I am handed a nutritionist, a therapist (incase I go mental) and a dude who shoves people out the way, if need be. Lol. I always wanted a Sumo Wrestler security…Yet, no such luck. One day when I’m riding a better list…I’ll have one.

I fucking will!

There’s been lost of noise, lots of secrets, lots of laughter and an evening in a graffiti park at 3 o clock in the morning.

I’ve kinda felt alive and that’s all life is about.

I don’t stress the small shit. I ignore them and conquer the big shit with grace, privately.

Today, I feel like i have the best life on the planet. I feel like i’m living and feeling… I feel like I’ve met some really great people over the Summer, and those people I hope to treasure over the years.

I guess everyone crosses paths with someone for a reason…

When you find that reason…You actually BLOOM. It’s about figuring it out…

Anyway, i’ve godda dash. But I love you all madly. Thank you so much for following my life. It genuinely means so much to me.

Everyone’s asking me about my love life….I receive messages about it daily, almost every single minute of every day.  Lol. I will tell you that I’m a happy singleton, looking for love. The real kind. The truest kind. A proper little Hero.

TBONE: ‘She’s the kinda girl, you meet and you never ever forget. You really do try to at times. Yet, you kinda find yourself right back there, without realizing..and I guess it’s that impact, that makes her so magical. It’s an impact that she doesn’t even know she has.’ 

Pretty nice thing to say about me right?

Love you all lots.

Chrissie x

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Because I love a Hero….

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Are you freezing too? What is this crazy ass, snow doing? Now, we know I don’t like the cold. It makes my nose runny and that I assure you is something that can never be well accessorized. I had to make the scariest drive yesterday, where I kinda just skidded into oncoming traffic. Lol. Then Ruby and Junior had a ‘snow day’ off school (AFTER I DROVE ALL THE WAY THERE Lol), followed by that awful moment when they (in fact all kids)  turn around and shout..

‘LET’S PLAY IN THE SNOW!’

It’s always something that you feel you should do, even though you really don’t want to…But you do it anyway, don’t you? Just to see them smile… 😉

We built snowmen (that didn’t build,) they made snow angels, (and looked devastated,) we had snow ball fights (Junior cried) and Ruby chose to crawl all the way home like snow dog. I was literally screaming at her to ‘PLEASE GET UP, COS YOU’RE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A REALLY BAD PARENT…LOL‘….But she just kept ‘woofing‘ at me and saying she was a ‘SNOW DOG.‘ 🙂

Image may contain: one or more people, snow, plant, tree, outdoor and nature Image may contain: one or more people, snow, outdoor and nature

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(The other evening, when we did our ‘Mummy/Daughter’ dinner at Ego, she had a whole conversation with me about my love life and demanded that she saw their FEET first, because it was vital that I did not ever marry a man with ‘rubbish feet.’ )

‘Honestly, Mum…can we Google his feet, pleeease?’

I couldn’t ‘picture take’ yesterday because firstly, it got ‘snowed off’ and secondly I am UTTERLY rubbish at shooting in the cold. I can’t stand it. I can’t get into it. I lose my swagger. I lose my ‘ooh laa.‘ I won’t do it.  And you have to feel comfortable when you’re on a shoot.

So instead, I *selfied* my snow walk….Who knew you’d all be that excited by it? 😉

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(There’s me moaning about Ruby crawling like a ‘snow dog’ home and I’m tottering along in the snow with my bra out! Lol)

Even my chick friend saw it on snapchat and said,

‘Know wonder you’re bloody freezing. Most people wear a top out in the snow.’

But whatever, you’ve godda keep it sexy don’t you! And I’m certainly one of those girls. I didn’t even think that I looked like a plonker either? I mean, I would’ve done it WITHOUT THE BRA, if I thought it was respectful enough around the people passing by.

A bra is odd to viewers, but acceptable in the cold. A nipple is a whole different game. And my child was crawling home, like a ‘snow dog.’

What we must look like… is beyond me!!

I’m glad we did it though and i’m glad I have half exotic children, that prefer the poolside heat and swimwear, to the snow. They cried after 10 minutes because they wanted to be in the warm. 🙂

YIPPPPPPPPPPPPEEE!

But thank you for all the love I received for my ‘snow walk’ selfies. I appreciate it. And do know, before you all start. I was zipped up when the children were in front of me, yet it wouldn’t have made a difference, as they see me in my bra, or with my boobs out all the time. We don’t have body hangups in our family. We’re swag. 😉

I will tell you what was cute on my walk…The fact that I saw old gentlemen, young men and all sorts of others, shoveling the drives clear, for their wives, running all the errands…sort of really taking care of their ‘honey pies’…They were just being proper MEN. That was so cute. They were hand holding and guarding their families. They were keeping them safe from danger, yet still managing to have a laugh in the snow.

What a turn on! I love a HERO.

(I prefer to be warm, but definitely love a hero.)

Like I said to my friend ‘Tomfri’ the other day, when we passed each other in a pub car park (It was The Carleton.)

‘I love it when boys can do boys things…’

(We had some brief conversation about him laying his own floors down. Lol. He was with a mate and they had ladders wedged in their car. It’s the first manly thing ‘Tomfri’s’ ever tried to do or something? But that’s impressive.)

Boys are attractive when they have an emotional softness…yet at the same time, can do BOY THINGS. (That’s quite sexist. But It’s really how I feel! Lol)

Like I’d LOVE TO BE MARRIED TO THE PERFECT MAN, who can do things like ‘lay floors down,’ put a new light bulb in, do the bins and all that shit, that we girls hate. Lol. He’d have to be stylish and ‘cool as’ though and enjoy both the FINER AND THE SIMPLE things in life. Like, he couldn’t have a no teeth….It just wouldn’t work.

I’ve already bored myself with that paragraph.

Chick friend: ‘She wants you to be fit. She loves eye candy, because she’s shallow. Lol’

I’m not shallow! I’m really not. Just vain. We’re going down the wrong path!

WAIT!

What i’m trying to say is that I’m actually great at doing ‘GIRL THINGS...’

*WINK HERE*

So, I enjoy a gent who is equivalently GREAT… at doing BOY THINGS…

I have boyish banter, but I am a GIRLY GIRL. Don’t get it twisted. I’m a glamour puss. A kitten! Sometimes a bit of ‘diva’ the say? 😉

Aww, my friend ‘Sykes’ is just messaging me on Facebook…

Sykes: ‘I adore reading the comments on your photos. How you have the patience to say something nice back is literally inspiring. Lol. Someone told me I had a nice arse at the gym the other day, and I had him thrown out. I presume it’s your business acumen that drives you. Bravo Wunna.’

(I love Sykes. I went to school with her and she’s hilarious. )

I think i’m just used to it. I hear it all day, every day….and I don’t mind it. No, in fact, I do mind it when they’re rude, because i’m feisty…They sometimes need cold showers or slaps.  But if you put a suggestive picture up…that is whats going to happen. I don’t mind sexy banter…I just don’t like it when people are disrespectful and cross the Wunna line.

Yet, on the whole, everyone’s doing the whole ‘you’re beautiful, you’re sexy’ thing.

That’s not so bad. I’m quite laid back by nature. Worse things have happened to me then that…Lol.

PLUS, I try and make time for people, who make time for me….and they do…every day….I whole heartedly believe in the art of ‘what goes around come around.’ I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I didn’t appreciate the fact that they’re helping ‘Wunna Land’ sail.

I can’t remember what I wanted to tell you now?

Thank you those of you who are sending me products to ‘influence’ ( I always find it really exciting and I can’t wait to sort through them all) and thank you to the gents who have been signing up to my ‘Onlyfans’ account. (Onlyfans.com/chrissiewunna) I’m glad you have a ‘home’ now. Lol. 41 pictures are up on there right now…and 4 more went up today. It’s certainly the place for the ones of you who aren’t bothered about reading the blog and just want to see the ‘sexier’ versions of my pictures. Lol.

 I say ENJOY! (Copy and paste the above Onlyfans link and subscribe yourself happy.)

I hope this snow is nearly over. Yesterday I felt trapped and house bound…It was a nightmare. I was literally pulling my hair out…The kids were going mental and..

I had run out of flipping wine!

I was gonna brave the blizzards, just for a bit of wine! Yet for once, I went all sensible and left merriment to others!

BEING SNOWED IN YESTERDAY IS SO DULL. Especially if you have no booze or no fun. 😉

What else did I need to tell you?

Oh yeah. I’m gonna be changing my diet, in my quest for a more delicious body….

I’ll tell you all about it shortly…I just need to get everything set up!

Chrissie

ps/ Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kitty Sexuality, Wantons & Mind Blocks…

I just keep having these really weird dreams. The other night I dreamt that I was outside in the sunlight, about to board a flight and around me I kept seeing planes taking off into the skies. The mood was all happy and calm and then I looked to my right and the Eiffel Tower appeared out of nowhere? Then I got on my plane?

Last night, I dreamt that a guy I know, who was being all lovely, all smiley, all happy…Well, he got down on one knee, and proposed to me. He put a silver band on my wedding finger and had a matching one on his wedding finger? Again, the mood was all lighthearted and peaceful. Everything just felt so perfect?

I either need to stop drinking before bed time or these dreams mean do actually mean something? I’ve stopped looking them up now….I never dream? Why am I dreaming so much?

Other than that, It’s a busy time in Wunna Land. I’m kinda just getting my ‘kitten concentration’ on, to focus on it all for a bit, as i’m rubbish at organizing things, schedules and everything in between, when it comes to my own world. I’ll just dance off with an afternoon cocktail in my hand, gleefully…. which is the bouji version of burying your head in the sand,’ when everything comes at once.

YIPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEE!

I could do with a cocktail now and it’s only 10.47am.

Slippery slope…

(Yet, luckily a slope that i’m used to…Free slide anyone?)

Yesterday evening, I managed to ‘tipper’ and a ‘tinker’ and once I did, in a flash, I had ‘penned’ into my schedule….and officially booked something in. (This is why I’ve always said that my soulmate needs to be of an organised nature. I’m quite obedient, if I don’t have to deal with the ‘faff’ of things.)

So, in April, I’m looking forward to heading down to see Kwoklyn Wan, at his deliciously divine restaurant, in Leicester, for a bit of jolly filming and blogging, as he teaches me how to cook things, for your absolute ‘social’ delight. I’m a cheeky little thing, so it will be sprinkled with that infamous Wunna Land charm.

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He was actually on ‘This Morning’ a couple days ago, with his little brother, the ever famous Gok Wan, teaching Holly and Phil how to whip up some whirlwind wantons, as he is the ‘MASTER’ of making the most delicious Chinese Street Food.

Image result for kwoklyn Wan this morning

April…(and I think he’s actually filming a documentary at that time)….I will be embracing all this Asian with him, as he teaches ME…how to be a Wanton Master! We’ll be doing a video, that you’ll all get to watch and along with a blog, I’ll be ‘socially’ sharing my behind the scenes with you.

I’M SO EXCITED!

See! A little ‘being organised‘ does you some good!

Right now, I’m trying to swizzle everything together for the CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM advert. Organizing the location, outfits and themes etc…is quite difficult. But I know what I want and I’m gonna be working with Jake Logan (who’s simply great.)

Let me tell you….The advert is going to be oozingly dripped in an actual mind blowing swirl of sexuality. It’ll be ‘kitty femme’ at it’s utter finest. It’s there to tell a story, it’s there to advertise the blog, socially. You’re not even going to know what to do with yourself afterward! 🙂

IT IS GOING TO BE ON FIRE!

We’re both really excited to film it. It can’t come quick enough. Organizing it, is actually stressing me out. But if it all goes well…They’ll be lots more adverts.

I have two shoots booked, that are coming up shortly, followed by content shoots for my ‘socials.’ Right now, i’m not finding enough time to fit everything in. Yet, I’m really lucky, so I’m going along with it all. I’m smiling and i’m winking.

I guess, sometimes things feel tough…Yet ‘tough’ is only temporary. Once you pick it up and handle it, it dissolves and becomes easy. So, i’m staying hopeful and enjoying the work that I love.

I had something else to tell you, but I can’t remember it?

SHIT! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! For Gods Sake! I even have my specs on! It’s meant to make me smarter!

No..Mind’s gone blank.

Oh Wait??

…Nope…Minds gone blank. 🙂

Anyway, everything’s great. Lost my mind. But everything’s great. I’m excited to finally get my teeth fixed. I’ve got to organise picking up the new whip. I’ve also got to organise getting a new tattoo, which i’m actually quite nervous about. I tried to talk myself out of it…But i’ll message them today and book in a ‘go see’ date…The reason why I need to do that is simply because i’m scared. The only way to solve fear, is action right? So i’m gonna smash it about, like a human dynamo and get it all sorted.

All of the above are ‘collabos’ with brands and businesses and if life is about living and adventure, then I’m the luckiest kitten in the world.

I’m still building….But something tells me, that good things are going to happen! (I dreamt of planes taking off!)

PLUS….

I HAVE A SURPRISE A COMING UP….

Some of you won’t actually like it, but lots of you will. And believe me, I have an actual internal FEAR bubbling inside me because of it.

Thank you for following my version of life!

Big Kisses,

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Boys Night, Dating Tips & Auditions…

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Really busy time, so i’m gonna have to bustle through this. I have a ‘dashy’ weekend ahead, which means schedules, train times, those Wunna Land bits of ‘showbizziness’ and…as always… life to conquer. I’ll do it. I always do. And right now, I never felt more confident. I try not to waste time looking over at what other people are doing (I used to do that a lot, it’s human nature…we all get a little nervy.)

However, instead, I’m now just focusing on MY land..WUNNA LAND. If you give something 100 percent…and you’re good at what you do, there is absolutely NO WAY in the jeepers, that you will not succeed.

Luckily, my job right now, is the art of  just ‘BEING ME.’ So, if I balls that up, then there’s no help for me. Nor is there enough wine to settle my soul.

I ended up on ‘boys night’ at Ego the other night. I did ‘Girls Night’ didn’t I, last Saturday? I’m one of those chicks who has a great mix of friends, be they girls, boys, young, old….The mix is a ‘jiggle’ but it’s great.

I love boys night. Not as much as girls night, as boys night is far more reserved…My chick friends and I literally tell each other EVERYTHING…and we don’t care, we’ll pour it all out, the good with the bad, with the ugly. Boys are less ‘drama’ and they keep their secrets to themselves…M guy friends are open, yet their level of ‘openess’ is carefully monitored by their pride and sense of masculinity.

(Aside from ‘Jonesez’ he’s like a girl and will cry out his problems over a cocktail, with me.)

But yes, I met Webbo, Dipper and Jonesez for dinner and drinks. They were ‘after work’ suited and booted and then I sort of just flounced in a bit late, all a beam, smiles and with a…

‘Two for One margaritas with a salted rim please!’

I am all about a salted rim. 🙂

We chatted, we caught up, they slagged other boys off and they drilled me about ‘the girls.’

‘What were they saying about us?’

‘What did she say about ME?’

‘Who’s best in bed out of…?’

‘Do they like me? I bet they slagged me off?’

‘Yeah, but honestly…gang bangs are gross…’

‘Why does he always come in and touch me…Don’t man slap me!!’

‘I’m not arsed me, I’ve just said i’m sharing with someone else…’

‘I love it when you get your nipple out on your selfies Wunna.’

‘Shall we eat. I’m starving..’

‘It’s not my fault..You picked her!’

‘Are you honestly still obsessing?’

‘Why are the dudes on your Facebook always asking to marry you?’

‘Yeah, but our Girls night isn’t sweet and lame. We don’t plait each others hair to Boyband tunes. We’re all SASSY…it’s hardcore.’

‘Why have you stopped getting cocktails Wunna?’

‘Stop trying to get me pissed.’

The thing about ‘Boys Night’ is that there is always a boys code…and even though i’m a chick, having all guy friends in LA…I know the code…It’s kinda like ‘Girl Code,’ but you don’t have to remind them not to say anything. ( I do prefer the drama of a ‘Girls Night’…and mainly because i’m a girl. Yet, I am sizzled over with a BOYS sense of inappropriate humour….I don’t care…It’s hilarious. So yes, boys night was ace! I know some great guys!)

BOY CODE, SAVE AS!

I’m currently sat with a half a Peroni, at The Carleton trying to smash out this blog. I was on a phone audition all last night. I had one through the afternoon and then I had to shoot, followed my bambinos and reply to all my ‘socials.’

At the same time, I was going back and forth on email with my agent…and it was all pretty manic. I’m having a really busy time, but i’m loving it. I’m really enjoying and i’m enjoying it because I do what I love.

I have noticed that I don’t like ‘fuss.’ I like everything to be taken care of…with no ‘fuss.’ I don’t like the ‘faffiness’ of projects…I just like to get on with things. That’s when it comes to work and dating….

This is actually a really good tip for guys..

GIRLS DO NOT LIKE FUSS…WE WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF SHIT…

Like, if you were to ask us out on a date…We’d prefer if it you took charge, stood up all manly and just said…

‘Right, are you free… on this date….to do this…? Great! I’ll pick you up at *this time…’

(And you organised everything, so we can just get dolled up, enjoy the night and adore you. That’s how it works. So, it’s not just when are you free? It’s…’Are you free on…? Great…I’ll pick you up at..’ It’s gentlemanly.)

In the past, whenever i’ve had to organise a man, i’ve hated it. I’m a ‘Girl Boss,’ I love it when a guy takes care of the little things. It’s thoughtful. They take the stress away from you.

I actually remember being sat at the Coffee Bean, outside in the sun, in West Hollywood, by the Beverly Center. I used to go there every morning.

This guy, with shoulder length blond hair and sunglasses, who was also a model, called ‘Berlin,’ used to sit with me and chat life, each morning…I remember how schooled he was in the art of dating…But I guess the LA boys are, because they do it so much and they do it well. They can’t treat a girl badly on a date, because the ‘show of it all’ is SO important in Hollywood…plus ALL THE GIRLS TALK. You get a bad rep…no girl with touch you.

Berlin: ‘Well, I just text her and told her that i’d love to do dinner with her at ‘Koi,’ tomorrow night and that i’d pick her up at 7pm…and because it was all sorted for her…she just said. I didn’t give her time to think. Lol. Chicks like to have everything organised for them.’

Then we’d go on our auditions for the day. But he was right! Lord knows what he’s up to now?

Anyway, I really do need to go…So sorry for the quickie blog ;)..but sometimes ‘quickies’ are awesome!

Busy, busy weekend ahead!

Hope you loved today’s selfies…

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Thank you for following my diary.

Chrissie x