Love Lists, Glamour Pussing & Does Size Matter?

Things are wonderful!

Monday was *chocca..blocked* with work. It was a busy one and there were no fruity cocktails in sight. You could’ve kicked me and a bundle of ‘to do’ lists, would’ve fallen out of my system and you know things are crazy when life throws you that ‘non juicy’ bone. As SURELY when people kick me, only fruity frizzles of Martini, *squirts* out of me. No such luck.

Right now i’m hopeful. I’m working hard and with my fingers crossed…I don’t expect anything, I just hope for the best really. I hope I get sent a whole bunch of luck, to go with my whole bunch of hard work and a whole jolly bunch of decent peoples, to man the Wunna Land fort. Something tells me that my next year is going to be great! I’m lucky. I’m really lucky. Please make it be great…Or this blog posts makes me look foolish. 😉

Today, I’m gonna talk about the art of PONDERING.

I’m a doer, not a ponderer. I make decision FAST. Good ones. People waste a lot of time on the simple art of pondering, don’t they? I used to. I don’t any more. I’m a grown up now.  Sometimes we ponder far too much about the things we can’t AT ALL control. You can’t control them. It’s not like you don’t know that? You do and try to anyway. Don’t waste that energy. It’s always what you DO that matters. And further from that, it’s all about how much IMPACT you MAKE from that little piece of ‘doing.’

I’m the kinda girl who will do everything I CAN, I’m a positive person on all levels, but THEN I’ll leave the rest to that good old ‘life magic.’ I believe in fate and destiny. You’ll end up where you’re meant to be. For me, these days, life usually goes great, but when it doesn’t, I just slip on a different set of stilettos and dolly march forward. When you can quick change your heels and still strut forward with a whole heart and a gallop, you’ve got it!

I spent the day with ‘The Girls’ yesterday. (As in my chick friends…not my bosoms. I spend enough time with my chest and let’s face it, they’ve served me well in the past. Lol)

Little Innocent ‘FairyTale Blond’ couldn’t have been more little and innocent yesterday. Everything from trapping fingers, seeing how fast she could run down the stairs, eating fruit, making fairytale cups of tea and hopeful Disney Love occurred in her world. ‘Double B’ strutted in with her Sasserilla scowl, her weave, her bag flung over her ‘had sex last night’ shoulder and with a hangover that could… AND DID… give her tonsillitis today. (She was absent from Wunna land adventures this Tuesday. I knew she should’ve have had sex. Something always goes wrong.)

Mel had decided that her body was so smart, that during the Winter months, it naturally knew how to create an extra layer of warmth, that was made via the fine art of eating things out of the ‘filth drawer.’ (Which she can now do, as she’s a proper full fledge gym goer now and loves it. She also found a dead rat, on the tip of her leopard print shoe, whilst she crossed a road in Doncaster.) Hustle Barbie is still a Vegan and shouting at Jonsez over mangoes. Firmonell sent me a love song, about Chinese people and stated that she was really good at pretending to be a Lesbian. Lady Shizzle definitely agreed that ‘five inches’ was not a good ‘willy size’ and considered being an alcoholic…

Shizzle: ‘Five is SMALL. Six or Seven Inches is AVERAGE. Eight or Nine is BIG.’

Me: ‘Anything else is…pointless.’

Then we went through our personal lists of what our DREAM MAN or partner requirements were. Again..for no real reason. It’s just for kicks innit. 😉 Love being a girl! I’m not gonna say who said what…But here are some snippets of our convo…

‘Stylish…they’ve got to be stylish.’

‘You can give them style!’

‘No you can’t!’

‘Funny. I love funny.’

‘Sexy IS SO IMPORTANT.’

‘They’ve GOT TO BE GOOD AT SEX! I hate bad sex.’

‘Rich.’

‘Rich isn’t on my list.’

‘Rich is on MY LIST!’

‘Oooh no…you’re wrong. Attractive. Handsome.’

‘I like good teeth.’

‘I just like kind.’

‘Generous. It’s alright saying rich, but if they’re tight…’

‘Good manners. A gentleman.’

‘As long as i’m not repulsed by them then i’m okay.’

I was actually JUST telling my guy friend about the above conversation and he was astonished at the fact that not ONE OF US, mentioned ‘Loving, faithful, loyal or respectful.’

We didn’t mention any of the above, because WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO MENTION ANY OF THE ABOVE, it should go without saying. OBVIOUSLY, we’d expect anyone we’re with, or dating… to naturally come to us with a bundle of loyalty, love and respect. Surely they’re not things that boyfriends, husbands or potential partners, or even girlfriends, and wives should need to TRY TO BE. We’re women not kids. Our fun personal lists, were just for bonus points. (Ooh. I need to add ‘Hero’ onto mine. I love a Hero. Can’t believe I forgot that.)

I can’t remember what else I was gonna tell you now?

I’ve got a lot of organizing to do, so i’ve got to get going.

Thank you for following my life.

The amount of you, all over the world, reading this, is crazy and let me tell you, I couldn’t be more grateful. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.THANK YOU.

FYI/ Nothing topped my weekend off than Miss Gemma Collins, falling through a hole, on a stage, that delivered Love Island cast members, at some Radio 1 TV Awards thingy. Lol. OH my GOD. HOW I LOVE ‘THE G.C.’ She stole the show. She’s literally the funniest girl on British TV right now. And yeah, it’s such an awful thing to have happen and I hope she’s not hurt, but GOSH, she filled us ALL UP with sincere laughter and good vibes. She took it like a champ! (Definitely heard that she’s suing them now. 🙂 )

 

 

Shortcuts, Interviews & Prosecco

‘Are you Chrissie?’

‘Yeah…Hi…’

(I gave her that ‘100 Watt’ Chrissie Wunna beam. 😉 )

‘You write that blog! My daughter reads it. She loves bloggers. She’s mad on them. She’s just bought that book on..what’s his name? Someone.. Dawson?’

‘Aww…yeah…’

(I was polite, because I didn’t exactly know who that was…Yet, neither did she, so I was on safe ground. Lol)

‘Anyway, i’ve started reading your blog. Thank you so much for coming back…’

‘Oh no…I love it here. The kids even love it here…’

The glamourous lady, all tanned and dark haired, with the perfectly pouty lips, sits down in my stylish yet comfy Prosecco Pit Stop booth. (I love Prosecco Pit Stop in Doncaster. It is a frequent afternoon haunt of mine. I used to go all the time when Shaun Applegate owned it, yet since he’s tinkered off to open up a new cocktail bar in the Victoria Gate, Leeds, which I can’t wait to visit once open, I believe this new sassy lady, is the brand new Pit Stop, ‘Boss Lady.’ I love her.)

‘I’ve just called my husband and said *Chrissie’s Here.* He told me to keep you here until he arrives. Lol. I love that blog, the one where your friend goes down on a girl with a Fishermans Friends. Lol. It’s just so hilarious. My 14 year old daughter showed me the post and asked me what it meant! Hahah!’

‘He actually went down on her with a Hall Soother.  ‘

Then we *paused* before a glamorous ‘girl on girl’ belly laugh and as my children returned back from a toilet trip with Grandad….we all, as a family enjoyed our Brushetta Brunch at our favourite little Doncaster Pit Stop.

‘Be good to me…’

Let’s be honest….She literally has nothing to worry about. I mean, if you’re a glamour puss and you own a Pit Stop that serves my body with Prosecco, then I’m probably going to adore you with every delightful inch of my kitten soul. Even if I tried, I couldn’t find a reason to dislike any human of that calibre.

But annnnyway…..

It’s a busy time in Wunna land and I know I keep harping on about how busy things are right now, but it’s pretty much the truth. My world is currently quite scheduled out and I’m feeling really lucky because I seem to have the best help at hand. I’m enjoying all my work, meetings, shoots, afternoon cocktails (I was at Ego yesterday afternoon) and just life in general. Early nights have been my favourite and yeah, i’m slowly but surely, getting everything built up and ready to take the next stiletto steps upward, upon that glitzy ladder of success. (When I say ‘Success,’ I don’t mean diamonds, riches and golden baths of wealth…Even though that really does sound like one of the most delicious plans. Why am I so stupid? That really is a great plan! Success to me is HAPPINESS. Finding your ‘happy’ and achieving it. Doing something that you love and yeah…having other people love and recognise what you do, feels good. I’m not gonna lie. It feels really good.

I write my blog to inspire. I inspire by telling my story. My own version of life. Everything else… comes from that….A really smart human once told me that if you give the world something of VALUE and simply because you LOVE doing it, you bizarrely get ‘Life Love’ back… threefold. It just comes to you. (That’s the ‘Candy Floss’ version of it. Yet, for shortcuts….having a great PR Team, also works just as well. 😉 I learn everything the hard way, so 10 years of tapping out my life as proved to be beneficial. I don’t know why I didn’t ‘shortcut’ the journey? I should’ve shortcutted the journey. Yet, good thing about missing the shortcut, is that fact that it made me SOLID in what I do.

You can say a lot. All that you want…but I’ve hit every road bump with a *BAZINGA.* Lol. Wunna Land is now one slick operation because of it. No one can take that away from me. I know my life. (Sounds weird, but some people still don’t know where they’re headed and that’s completely fine. You don’t have to know. You just have to be comfortable in the unknown zone. Just appreciate all that you have going on RIGHT NOW. Work hard. Have faith. Listen to your gut instincts and you’ll get there.) I don’t actually know what I’ trying to say, other than, if I can do it, ANYONE CAN. Don’t put yourself on a timer. It happens when it’s meant to happen. People…opportunities…everything finds you when it’s mean to. I’m only saying that because I always used to put myself on a timer.

Shortcuts are great. They’re great. But only when you’re ready. And i’m ready now…I’m all stable and filled with Va Voom. Yet with anything in life, be it in work or love…if you wish for longevity and not a short glittery *pan flash…* it takes the leg work.

Talking about my Va Voom, it’s certainly on point right now. Lol. I definitely heard ‘Firmonnell’ accidentally call me her ‘partner’ instead of her ‘colleague’ and my 20 something year old work colleague  ‘Jonesez’ kept sauntering around me and blushing…because he has some weird Asian girl fetish.

‘Why are you being weird and fancying me right now?’

‘Have you heard ya’self!!!

‘Is it the boobie thing?’

‘Hahah. No it’s the Asian thing.’

He hates feet though.

I have a busy week ahead. Junior’s loving school. Ruby’s loving life. And on Friday I have the Diversity in Media Awards. I’m up for ‘Blogger of the Year.’ I still haven’t bought a dress and I’ve completely run out of foundation. I forgot to go on my diet and had buckets of Piri Piri chicken wings and bread all weekend. But whatever….having bread wasn’t cheating on my diet. Trying to EVEN BE ON A DIET during the weekend, is surely cheating on BREAD.

I actually had so much other stuff to tell you today, but i’ve forgotten to *tap* it all out. Haha! Yipppee! It’ll have to wait until the next one. This blog has gone on too long today.

Yesterday there was a Chrissie Wunna Q & A in Inscriber Mag…. thanks to Kind Publishing. Incase you missed it…

Here’s the link for you to go and check it out…

http://theinscribermag.com/glamour-girl-burmese-beauty-q-and-a-with-glamour-model-author-and-blogger-chrissie-wunna/

 

 

A Fabulous Glittery Madness

‘Right! You two are gonna have to be straight now and look after me. I’m taking NO responsibility for getting back to this train station by 10pm. You have to get me here, in one piece, if you want me to come play drinking with you!’

And my two delicious gays, Liam and Lee looked after me like Kings! They were GREAT! They cared for me. They molly coddled me. They made sure I was okay every little stiletto tapper of the way…..and we had a BLAST! I had been refusing to go out around Soho after dinner, in need to get home. Yet, with a ..

‘Chrissie, it’s only 7.13pm!!! You’ve got ages!’

I ended up going….But fuck it. Liam had a show to shoot in th emorning. I had just come out of a great business meeting. Lee, is on the Westend and has just finished being the main in the Lion King. We had had cocktails, posh scampi and naughty looking pork scratching. And you only live once..

PLUS….

Soho is my old haunt. When I lived in London, I was literally out on the Soho glitter cobbles EVERY NIGHT! I was just off the Paris Hilton Show and everyone adored me, but i had started dating this Boyband guy…If you go back into my archives (via the search bar) his named was ‘Boyband Jonny.’ Anyway, he always wanted to go out because he was young…and we’d do a lot of normal straight bars…but I did notice that he ALWAYS wanted to every gay bar in all the land.

Liam, Lee and I…after we tap danced the time step on the tube…(I can totally tap dance incase you didn’t know…and in heels) found ourselves tinkering to G.A.Y…which is where Boyband Jonny and I would always go…every night. Big Brother Mark Byron used to be the ‘handing out flyers guy’ outside. Even then and because I was so trusting…I didn’t even think that Boyband Jonny might actually be gay? Lol. I mean GOD!!! We were in G.A.Y every night for crying out loud!!

THE CLUE IS IN THE TITLE!!

But we’re great now and he’s all gay and lovely…and certainly states that I broke his heart. I didn’t. I just got bored of being treated badly. I love those moments when us girls suddenly get all clued up and we grow ten feet tall and march forward. Were invincible at the point and beam because we’ve managed to remember that we’re utterly of worth!

Anyway, the best night was had! Yes! I’m far too old to be staying out with the Gays and partying. I’m not used to it. But loved it. We shouted out on the busy streets of London. We danced on the cobbles, in the open airs, singing out Pop songs.

‘If i could sing. I’d be a star. I’d be Rihanna!’ Lol’

We ‘West Side Story’ leaped and finger snapped our way through traffic, whilst selfie taking with the crowds and laughing out loud at our snapchats. We danced in bars…drank…swirled with Drag Queens…and drank….we lived, we loved, we played ‘cheeky’ with security…and we drank, drank, drank,

This security guard kept telling me off and whenever he did i’d snapchat him. Lol. He wasn’t grumpy. Yet one minute he’d be telling me off and the next saying that I looked like Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls and asking to take me home.

DUDE! Girls like me have TRAINS TO CATCH.

Liam, Lee and I swirled our magic, around a glitter mess of fabulosity.

‘I haven’t had this much fun in ages..’

And just as the boys promised….even when they were moderately pissed. They got me to the tube station…LORD KNOWS HOW! I was battered. Glamourously battered ofcourse. Definitely felt ill. But was still beaming.

Liam stayed out. HAHAHAHA! Happy 8am filming! And Lee had a singing show thing to get to by 11am. Where he was performing! Lol.

I got on that 10pm train. I might have been sick.I can’t remember. Liam might have also puked in his hotel room. Infact all my friend across the lands were doing sicks. Double B said she puked into a cup whilst driving around a roundabout. Her distant cousin Double D puked in someones bed? No…wait. He puked from drinking and woke up in someones bed…some girls bed…he was woke up by the sound of a baby! 🙂

The great thing is that I had lots of London fun. (Even though I have annoying London friends, who are moaning that I didn’t get time to see them. I was working..and well if you don’t ask to see me, then obviously you won’t. Lol. Why do people wait in the wings? It’s dull. So much happens in my life that you have to catch me when you’ve got my attention…or strike when the irons….gin. 🙂 )

However, yes, best time ever. Great catch up. Great business meeting…but knackered. It was fabulous because it made me remember how much I adore to chill!

So right! Everything in Wunna land is all about taking care of myself now. Don’t worry i’m not going to go nuts. I’m just gonna eat better, drink less…smile more…and all that good old jiggery. Get fitter. Chill! And not really stress.

I’m gonna love! I feel all inspired and fancy inspiring. Stay focused on what you want to do. Do it well…the people that adore you will always be around. They’ll stand by you and cheer you on!

And i have nothing to lose…:)

Enjoy this absolutely GORGEOUS WEATHER!

ps/ My love goes out to all of those involved in the Manchester explosions. That came as a shock! Hope everyone is safe!