Is it really that hard to find love?

Word up! My Pretties. How are you all? I’m kinda feeling over the moon today, because i’m trying to appreciate all that have, right now, rather than crave all the stuff that I don’t. I’m in the mood for a bit of Feng Shui, a wine and yesterday I made ‘love heart shaped’ toast….THAT BROKE IN HALF.

Even heart shaped toast, can’t stay fixed for me…

F*** I need wine.

It all sounds very Disney, I know. But don’t  be fooled. I swore like a gangsta all the way through the toasting…If you mixed Cruella De Ville, Jackie Chan, Mary Poppins, an angry gangsta and Paris Hilton into a pot…You would’ve got ME…making heart shaped toast.

For a Princess, I’m kinda ‘swag.’ I’m not prinny…I’m glammy…It’s a whole different ting, boo.

‘The Swirl’ once *paused* whilst he stood behind his kitchen counter, dishing out Nandos and said…

‘You’ve got a bit of swag to you, don’t ya…’

I don’t know why I felt the need to tell you that, but it’s my diary and my patch of cyberland, so I can if i want.

Why do I keep replaying it??

I even read a Vogue article about Victoria and David Beckham, this morning, in my pants, wrapped in flamingo sheets….Victoria gushed about how much  love they have for each other and how they couldn’t have achieved all they did without one another.

It was lovely. It made me beam.

I want that! I really want that…

What am I doing wrong? Surely I’m not that bad a pull!?! I’m such a happy singleton…Yet, i’m also great when coupled up? It’s like I only want to be with someone who I KNOW is my total soul mate…Someone who will really take care of me and guide his future family kindly and happily…Other wise I find it all a waste of my time?

So well done to The Beckhams and The Smiths, for doing love so so well, under much harder circumstances than most….

I love, their love…I love that kind of love…

I  almost nearly had that kinda love…a couple times…Yet, ALMOST HAVING SOMETHING…doesn’t count, does it? If you ‘almost‘ had something, you really never had it all..

Hit play.. (One of my favourite songs…)

Don’t get me wrong….I’m feeling pretty positive and fearless, right now….I watched Will Smith in this really great video on FEAR last night and it inspired me to be mighty.

I’m already mighty, so it properly turned me ‘COWBOY.’

Work wise…My moments gonna come. I can feel it in my water. This comeback & blog attention thing is hard…YET, i’ve been ‘slow and steady wins the race’ about it all. Once the ball starts a rolling, life will pick up speed.

Like I posted yesterday..

‘Chances are, your best kiss, your hardest laugh, your greatest day  are still to come…Don’t give up..’

..and it’s true.

People often give up, when the going gets tough, but it’s your struggles and failure that make you the person you are! More people need to find the swift ability to pick themselves up, every time they fail.. More people should embrace the things that feel right for them, disregard the things that feel wrong.. THEN find the courage to ALWAYS have faith in life and themselves….

It can be scary….

But never give up on the things that you are absolutely passionate about….Notice the things that makes you happy. Pay attention to them…

Recently, I’ve been spending all my time with those who truly love me, (Family & Babies) and simply because i’m wanting to break bad habits. Bad habits tend to get the better of me.

It’s only been a few days and I already feel more delish..

Plus, Ruby & Junior head back to school tomorrow, which frees up my time massively, for work. HOWEVER, GOSH, i’m gonna miss them being around me, all day. I know that sounds odd…because at the start of the holiday they drove me MENTAL. Now…it’s a really different story. Time just flew.

I’m half happy & sad…

They’re my little worlds and I’m grateful that I have two little ones who still LOVE hanging out with me constantly. Without each other, we’re nothing.

I’m like their favourite human, which always makes me feel ten feet tall.

Q & A wise…

I’ve been answering all your questions on my Insta story all day, but I got bored, because there were no juicy ones. They’re either normal, about marriage, or smutty. Nothing for me to get my kitty teeth into. So I chucked it in the ‘fuck it bucket‘ and laid it to rest…whilst my phone charges. 😉

Date wise…

I’m excited to meet the ‘gentleman’ guy on the 18th. I like how he moved his way forward. I’ve never met him and I haven’t spoken to him since the weekend, but it feels like an adventure.  I’m still fun and I’m still saucy ;).  I think I appreciate the fact that he didn’t just see me as ‘naughty,’ or ‘saucy.’ He saw a lot more to me than that.

I’m a lot of things…A lot more things that people think! So I hate it when people skip the good bits, like….‘best friend, loving wife, wonderful mother, happy soul, decent human…’ and just go with a judgement of ‘probably good in bed….maybe high maintenance and a bit stuck up..’

I’m not that at all..

Well, I am good in bed. 😉

YIpppeeeeeeeeEEeeeeeeeeeee!!

I’m staying out of trouble…but need to go because Mama needs a vino.

Thank you for everything…

Head to my Insta Story @chrissiewunna and ask me Question…(A juicy one though.) Tomorrow, i’m answering your questions on my blog…

New Dates, Mates & Old Flames…

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LA Bestie: ‘How the hell are you still alone’

Me: ‘Haha. Wow! Cheers. Stop saying ALONE at me. I’m fine. FFs.’

LA Bestie: ‘I actually meant ALIVE. Lol. I really did.’

Me: ‘Oh? That…I definitely don’t know! Just lucky aren’t I. 😉 I need a fresh orange juice..’

LA Bestie: ‘What?? Honestly. What has happened to you?? Dead to me. Orange juice?’ 

Me: ‘IN MY MALIBU, you idiot. I don’t order juice.’

How’ve you all been? I’ve had to take a few days off blogging, because work, auditions. socializing, surprises, shocks and single mum life sped into a WHOLE different lane and I was pretty much slow jogging in stillettos behind. If i didn’t hit *pause* I would’ve lost the plot!

I like to keep on top of things. I’m not one to lag behind with ease… 

I hate not managing things appropriately. It stresses me out.

So yeah, right now, my life’s not easy.  I’m happy. But it ain’t easy. It’s a really hard juggle, to be honest. But THANK GOD, i’m back to ‘tipper tappering’ at my laptop, because I swear, it’s my saving grace. (Well, once I get my ‘swing’ back, anyhow. At first it’s shit and definitely feels like it needs rum cocktails pouring all over it.)

RUM TING PLEASE…

I’m just gonna jump the gun and tell you that I got this voice note, the other day, that followed a message. Remember I told you that a few weeks ago, a guy, a lovely older gentleman, had tinkered into my DM’s.

I’ve hardly ever been on a date with anyone older than me…I don’t know why? Maybe because my surroundings are always young. The last older guy, that I actually went on a date with…was Matt Dillon..whilst I was in LA. 

Crackers innit!

(Wait, I’ve lied. both ‘London Business Man’ and ‘Eton Mess’ were older than me. Yet, only by a couple years…They kinda seem boyish in comparison to the ‘voice note’ guy Yet, they’re both happily in relationships now…& I’m happy for them, as they certainly weren’t right for me. I can be treated better than that.) 

ANYWAY….The Gentleman..

He initially messaged me with a picture and then a couple voice notes…and I liked it, because hearing someones voice makes a difference. (Not my awful voice though.) But it’s true…A voice or a video helps a connection… doesn’t it?

I felt that he was SO polite and gentle, yet sweet and fun. He was really respectful. He wasn’t smutty. He led with his romantic foot forward. And I am ever so used to hearing smut, or the game of charm.

I mean, remember that also a couple weeks ago, a German footballer, slid into my insta DM’s…and was pretty much the opposite. He started with the usual ‘you’re beautiful’ stuff…then led it straight to the land of Smut.

I get that…it’s fine…However…

..at that point, I just ignored him…cos whatever…I’m too old for that shit.

Anyway, the other guy, who I always label a ‘gentleman.’ (I say label, because I haven’t actually spoken to him much and I’ve certainly never met him.) Back to the point..He sent me a message at the weekend…Was it Friday? AGAIN, followed by a voice note.

I like a surprise voice note..or video.

It helps me connect faster…(I’ve said that already, haven’t I?) 

Weeks ago, and I did blog this, he had asked if I’d like to go on a ‘friendly dinner,‘ with him, to ‘say hi, properly.’ He doesn’t live in the country, yet obviously he ventures to the UK quite a lot with work. His occupation…Pundit. He’s a retired footballer.

I should balls and a nets for my yard of milkshake, as it seems they’re the only guys that want to play Wunna Land, right now? They find me..

So, I get this message, at the weekend, saying that he’ll be over here on 18th…for work and it would be lovely to meet me.

Wow! Impressed!

I get asked out quite a lot…(that isn’t meant to sound conceited…it’s just the truth and we love a bit of truth in Wunna Land.) I always say ‘no.’ Or just ignore the message. I mean, I must be a sucker for eternal loneliness, because I definitely would love to find my Mr.Right, yet I ignore everyone who DM’s me. Lol.

It’s because i’m a happy singleton.

I’m never miserable about single life. I enjoy life. I still enjoy love. I’m just one of those chicks, who is sure my Knight will saunter up out of nowhere…one day, when he’s had his tea and ready. 

Fate will force him to…

Anyway, I haven’t ignored this ‘gentleman.‘ I need to give him a nickname, don’t I? That’ll come. Yet, bottom line…I’ve agreed to go meet him for ‘friendly dinnering,’ simply because he was so utterly and sincerely sweet to me via voice note. He treated me really normally, yet like a lady. He sounded nurturing and I love nurturing ‘I’ll keep you safe ‘ kinda men.

So, we’ll see what happens…I’m open to it..

I feel like i’ve had this really fun Summer of debauchery and irresponsible, sunshiny behaviour. We’ll all remember Summer ’18. It was fun. Yet, I kinda miss focusing on what i’m doing. Glamorously, of course.  I love what I do and I love what I have…and I’m really lucky, to have the mini opportunities, come my way…Hopefully, one day, the mini ones, will turn into BIG ones.

If i’m being honest…

I kinda started to feel stifled, over the last couple weeks and I’ve been on the search for excitement and adventure. A new chapter, with more balance. You’re a product of your environment..I was becoming one…and not being a chick to enjoy the ‘same old ting,’ I got my balance sorted.

I found me a new chapter..

(…and it took nothing but determination.. Something I am oozed in.)

I’ve been with my family. (My strength.)  I’ve been with the kids. (My world.) I’ve worked hard, (my passion)… auditioned lots (my challenge)..and still managed to cocktail my way to happiness, whilst being over eyelashes, boobied and fully lipped. (Just who I am.)

Let’s *clink* wine glasses to that!

Summer 2018, was really important to me, because I learnt a lot about myself…and I was actually a little broken hearted, through it. Hence why I celebrated, enjoyed and drank a lot. Well, I say broken hearted…but I began with a solid stance. Then emotionally ventured to ‘all over the place,’ which led me to naughty fun (because of course I’m that way inclined..) and was left with my eyes open...WIDE open…my ears a listening (they could hear everything once more)…and as I screwed my head back on, bundled up my heart strings, back into my hands, ready for the next round of blissful, romantic tugging…I realized that my mind, my gut…my body…my everything…just kept lulling back to, reflecting back to…and utterly missing….(back to…lol)…..

..The Swirl.

(Who I renamed ‘T Bone.’)

So, I know that i’m not gonna to go through life, without encountering ‘T Bone’ again…I mean, I might do? But I doubt it, because we get on so well…

My gut just tells me…

Yet the timing of it all…. ‘our ting,’ has always been off. Life has never cut me some slack with that old timing shindig. But I’m willing to see and willing to wait on it.

Right now, he’s no where near me, he recently moved to another country for work…and he’s pretty focused on that and doing his version of life out there.

So, now that i’ve done my Summer of ‘heartache’ (lol…a heartache, that I didn’t realize was happening…) I’m pretty ready to explore…and let my little kitty eyes, take a peeky and who else, of DECENT POTENTIAL…that i’m attracted to… is a knocking?

Right?

September 18th…’Friendly dinner,’ here I come…

Ps? I keep getting a Flashback of Ms.Derry, being sat on the  ‘door wide open’ loo, with her leopard print shorts down by her ankles, as she wee’d, told me she fractured her hand, because she fell, whilst flamenco dancing down the pavement. She was in those shorts, that night too.

Then she wiped up, jumped up, pulled this make up stamper thing, out of her hand bag and stamped my hand with a tiny, black love heart.

It was beautiful. Made me smile.

Be beautiful always…

Let’s Get a Bit Inspirational….& Pervy :)

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I’ve just got out of an audition, so I’m all pumped and juiced. I love auditioning. I find it really fun. When I was a kid in LA, I used to be terrified, when it came to ‘audition’ day. Yet, after only a few weeks, my friends and I found that we were on around 4 auditions a day, all over LA, for all different shows. I remember, I had The OC, ER, Charmed & A Glamour Magazine, in one day. My other friend had Will & Grace, What I like about you, The OC & CSI. And we’d be dashing through Hollywood, with our ‘sides’ (that’s what you call your audition script) making sure we were prepared and not late. I didn’t really have time to be nervous anymore. Nerves were a waste of time. I had one shot. One read. That read could end up booking me that job. It could change your life. And it did.

I’m back in the UK though now. Have been for years and I’m loving it. The last audition I went on. I booked it. That will air shortly. I did one this morning and loved it, so we’ll see how that goes.

You’ve godda give it you’re all. And I never care what anyone thinks. I’ll go for it.

I mean what’s the point in moaning about getting work, staying in work or whatever else it is you can muster, if you can’t be arsed to put in the effort.

Anything can happen at anytime. More people need to believe that.

If you don’t think so ,you’ve lost FAITH IN YOURSELF. and you shouldn’t because you’re beautiful. No one can do YOUR VERSION of life better than you. I say it all the time. Don’t look over your shoulder at what everyone else is up too. Concentrate on your life, your game, your passion, your strut and go back and get everything that they said you couldn’t have!

I was so excited to perv on Love Island, Adam last night, that my excitement got the better of me, I ran out of excited energy and fell asleep after an exciting garden wine. I’m so shit at being a perv. I mean , If I can’t even do that, then Lord Help my rotten soul. Being a perv is such a brilliant ‘old school’ past time. It’s easy.

Couldn’t do it for toffee though could I!

I’m actually loving Dr.Alex now on Love Island, because I’m feeling really bad for him. I hate that people keep treating hi shitty. But i’m sure the magical world of TV has something up their delicious, no scripted lol, sleeve.

WHOOOPPPPEE!

Whatelse? Oh yeah, some maungy girl, sent me an evil message today and insulted my boobies. Don’t bother. Be smarter. Pick anything but the boobies, because they’re obviously such a ‘Chrissie Wunna‘ strength. A weapon. They’re lethal, with googly eyes on. They drink shots and hypnotize folk. Do your boobs do that? No. Exactly.

So, be smart enough to say I have shit feet or something. It would’ve made me cry, into my prosecco, for a good half a second.

YAWN!

I’m at a wedding on Saturday, so I’m really excited for that. Definitely don’t have a dress. Definitely going to end up leaving it to the last minute. But I fancy wearing lemon. Not A LEMON…as that would just be awkward.

‘Chrissie, why have you come as a piece of fucking fruit?’

In Summer, lemon is my favourite colour. I also like boys who can totally rock pink. But do it so well, that it makes all the girls dribble.

I hope my audition went well? I need something to eat now.

My friend ‘Trigg‘ sent me a message yesterday, apologizing for working so much etc etc…People don’t need to say sorry for doing life or their choices. But when you’re a grown up and working so much, you’re loaded with stress by the buckets on occasion and it’s hard to make time for people isn’t it?

I totally get that. I have the same problem. And our lives are manic. We’ll get around to a catch up.

Yet for those of you, who maybe don’t run busy lives or careers, DO KNOW to ALWAYS remember that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

We as girls, and guys (at times,)we always make excuses for people, don’t we? But only when it comes to love. You’re love life is such a big thing isn’t it? It’s important. It motivates you. It makes you feel alive. But like i said in my last blog, I’m happy being single, yet i’m open to finding love. I’m just NOT BOTHERED about ‘coupling up’ with someone, who isn’t my going to be hero, my best friend or potential life partner/buddy/chum chum…whatever else you can bung in there.

I’m not arsed about the game of love. I want a man who’s not scared to chase love, show love, be loved. I like a man who knows how to get what he wants. It’s sexy. I want all boxes ‘ticked.’ And we all deserve that.

I mean, when you’re older. You know what you want. When you’re younger. You make excuses for all sorts and don’t really know as much as you think you do.

Well that was ME, anyway. It might not be you? But probably.

Right i’m off. I need to find a dress….