Prosecco, Mel & Sunstroke…

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Happy Sunshine. Gosh! It’s Bliss! As if we have an ENTIRE WEEK of blistering warmth, to celebrate our Yorkshire Summer. I don’t know why i’m so chipper about it because ‘sunny times’ are total ‘DANGER ZONE’ for me. The booty shorts come out, the hair flick gets bigger, the ‘sunnies’ get left on any or every bar table in town (i’m awful for saving sunglasses) and worst of all, I get EXTREMELY distracted by ‘good, good times.’ I’m REALLY gonna have to focus on getting work done, as ‘YOLO’ will get the better of me.

I need to pull myself together….AGAIN

I hung out with my good friend Mel on Friday evening, in the sun, over iced prosecco. She looked amazing. She looked really happy and I love that, because it’s contagious. I like to see her happy. She’s been through a lot.

It was so great to see her, because we’ve ended up being really close friends, which is good going to say we began our rapport by ‘BLANKING’ each other and maybe hitting the ‘dislike’ button on occasion. (I didn’t dislike her. I was terrified of her. She disliked me. 🙂 However, now, she’s one of my closest. I’ve EARNED my way into her heart..and if you know Mel, that takes some ******* doing. lol) 

Any time, your chick friend arrives early, (I was already at The Carlton, having a quick drink after work, with Jodie, Scott, KatyP, Golfer Jonny, Ginger Brad, Our Gav and a ‘boys night.’) But yes, sorry..anytime your chick friend arrives early, with an ice cold bucket and cheeky bottle of ‘ready to pour’ prosecco in her hand, You KNOW it’s noting but true love.

You don’t strut up towards Wunna Land, without a drink in your hand. It’s the rules…

I love a surprise appearance and with a strut and a ‘BEAM’ and a…

‘I’ve messaged you to say I was early and bought us prosecco…’

‘Shit, I didn’t see it.. Firmonnell’s fuming that I’m here. Haha. She hopes we have a shit time…’

…we shimmied over to our own little table and caught up on life, in the Yorkshire sunshine. I was honestly so happy to see her because I’ve missed her so much and sometimes, you don’t realize how much you miss someone, until you see them again… in the sunshine. Everything’s better in the sunshine.

(The last time I saw her I walked through her front door with a bunch of yellow tulips, before people had *dance offs* to Tina Turner tracks, as I sipped berried prosecco out of gold rimmed flutes and nibbled my favourite olives.) 

‘I got you your favourite olives…You love these.’

I’ve always say that this chapter of my life has caused me to be a rubbish friend…Well, no..I’ll take responsibility and say, I kinda chose to be a rubbish friend. I prioritized things differently, this year.

However, I’ve noticed that I’m never a rubbish friend to Mel. (Probably because she won’t have any of it. I respect her for that. Haha. She’s a real life trooper and I have a lot of love for her, simply because you don’t **** with Mel…EVER. She’s kind once she let’s you in…She’s fun, once she lets you in…)

I have loads of close chick friends, yet really different relationships with them all…We’re all close, but completely different girls…But I like that…What we have in common is GREAT SOULS..and hideous drinking habits.

Firmonnell and I can always be rubbish to each other, even though she’s never rubbishy to me, because we’re soulmates. Our souls entwine as one…to the point where she makes me think I only need her and not even a man in my life…Lol. (Real Talk. Aside from my family and KatyP, she’s probably the only person I speak to every single day.) 

Image result for carrie bradshaw quotes girlfriends are soulmates

*I’ve definitely only put the above paragraph up, so she doesn’t feel as **** for me hanging out with Mel. Haha*

Plus, she says she never reads the blog, because she ‘doesn’t have to read this **** as she knows me in real life…‘ Lol. Which I like, because now I can write whatever I want about her and she’ll never know, OR EVEN BETTER have to ADMIT, that she’s read it. 🙂 

Shush! I’m joking. I love her.

So, Mel and I chattered about life, our love lives to be honest. We’ve kinda had a hard time in love, because that’s the way Cupid wanted it to pan out. I don’t know why, we find it so hard to settle down, even suitors appear through the years and wish to ‘settle?’ I always think, I haven’t because i’m happy and I haven’t yet met the right man.

But we’re single, we’re alive, we’re independent women, with our own careers and children, making the best of what we have.

Then I don’t know what happened, but she started to talk to me and as she did, I started to feel dizzy. I started to feel sick? I felt really drunk. Like it *popped* out of nowhere. I’d only had two drinks before she arrived and I’d only had a glass of prosecco. I felt really woozy, to the point where I her face zoned out…and I just couldn’t even sit up for another second. Lol

‘I need the loo…’

So I rushed off and in the loo, and in the cubicle I felt really poorly. So poorly, I was sick. (I always do this when I’m with Mel. Not the last time, but the time before, I puked in her washing up bowl. Lol) 

I got back and I felt moderately better, but still woozy.

Me: ‘I’ve been sick.’

Mel: ‘What? You always do this with me. How much did you have before I got here?’

Me: ‘Nothing. Just two drinks.’

Mel: ‘We need chip butties…’

(You can tell we’re Northern. We don’t wear tights in winter and we always think comfort food solves all life issues.) 

So chip butties came, because Mel, is literally the Hostest with the Mostest.’ She’s sassy, but she’s really good at taking care of people. She’s nurturing…and THANK GOD, cos i’m awful at looking after adults. Lol. I’m also awful if people cry in front of me, because i never know what the appropriate call of duty is….other than ‘Do you need a wine?’

I couldn’t eat my chip butty…I need to eat more. Then ‘Boys Night’ kept coming up to me, a boy at a time and asking for hugs and love.

‘Why are you all hugging me on boys night? Why are you looking at me? Do boys night, at boys table. We’re doing girls night!! Lol’

‘We just want a hug. Why you being boring..?’

So, I hugged, felt ill, then Tanya (Mel’s Friend) came and I got my second wind! It came out of nowhere and I was back on form. We did another two ice buckets of prosecco and yeah, tipsy then happened.

But we were happy tipsy.

Life filled with laughter and chick tales. (And more hugs from ‘Boys Night.’ I’m honestly like a ‘stag do/boys night’ prop. If boys are out, on a boys night, they sight me and want me to join the party. A bit like Sheffield really. I’m back in Sheffield in a couple weeks.) 

Anyway, I thought I was drunk, hence why I was sick? Makes total sense. But it turns out, (according to my little Doctor Mum) that I had sunstroke. I’m a slow drinker. But I’m a good drinker, in the sense that you’ll never see me falling about. I can do three drinks. That’s not going to make me puke ever.

So please be careful in the sun, this week. I’ve been in direct sunlight, all day long, with no water sipping, absorbing those rays and with wine in my hand always. It’s not good for you, if you’re not careful.

Then yesterday it was the football. I didn’t watch it. But I counted our goals on the cheers, that I heard. I caught up with KatyP and Claire, Golfer Jonny and his mates…Then Little Sam and His Blond Buddy Bud of Banter, with JD joined us..

Blond Buddy Bud: ‘Whenever I go to Bigfellas, random boys come up to me in the loos and tell me they can feel their Gaydar.’

Me: ‘It cos you have cherubim hair.’

Blond Buddy Bud: ‘And I have shoes at home, that i’ve named *Fellas.*

Sam: ‘You should go around the bar, in your wet tshirt, stop guys, tell them you can feel your Gaydar & see how long it takes for you to get punched. Chrissie, can we selfie for my Snapchat.’

Golfer Jonny’s friend Barney had a birthday. He doesn’t look like a gin guy, but he ginned it all day and started singing Wham songs. I like Barney because he once told a guy he looked like someone off the ‘Guess Who’ game. (Lol)

Barney: ‘Does he have a beard? No! Does he have hair? No. It’s HANK off Guess Who!!’

He also stated Golfer Jonny’s jeans were so tight, it looked like his bottom was ‘chewing a toffee’ and went to a chick’s loo, during a DATE, sat on her toliet seat and SNAPPED IT IN HALF, with his arse, due to a strong descent. Haha. 

Long story short. Lots of drama then occurred. I didn’t get to selfie. I didn’t stay out of the sun. I got home safe and woke up fine, this lovely morning.

I’ve got a lot of work to do. A book to write. I think i have birthday drinks this afternoon. I’ve got the babies after school. I have an audition. They actually have an audition to film. I’m feeling really lucky. I’m still pretty single.. I need to concentrate on work. Firmonnell’s throwing a BBQ on Sunday. I’m loving every single INCH of being Mummy. The babies are my WORLD. I’m back on your telly shortly…and I think I still have sunstroke? How do I make it better?

All my love,

Chrissie x

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Inbox Poems, Diets & Showbusiness

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Let’s at least try and start the year positively, right? I’m currently sat in a local pub blogging with a freshly bubbled prosecco and i’ve been scrolling through all my feeds.

Ooh wait….I have a message…

Firmonnell: ‘Why didn’t you come in then??’

Me: ‘You were talking to someone in neon and just looked busy. I’m at the pub now.’

Anyway, I’ve been scrolling through my feeds and gosh….HOW MUCH drama can every human in entertainment shimmie into 2018 with.

If you’re not in entertainment, I’ll tell you, during THIS TIME of the year we all (and I say ‘we’ as I am certainly included in all of this,) but we all hit the *panic button* because we all need to find attention, build attention and push the career a fresh…make our mark and make our money. We worry that we’re going to tinker through the year without making all of our merry dreams come true and we wrongly think that we have to SLAM IT in January to prove that we can start the race well.

ALL THE PANICS

In my ‘older and now wiser’ mind, it’s not a race. It’s not about where you start, it’s where you finish and your journey to the finish line is essential, as that is what makes you. Everyone tends to see the ‘success’ part of the ‘hoo haa,‘ yet forgets to see the journey it took for that person to get there. (We won’t you to see both.)

So as I scrolled I saw the ‘flashes,’ the ‘go getters.’ (Which is all fine, as it’s what the business of ‘show’ is about. There are the ones that play the ‘fame game‘ the ones that only focus on doing the one thing that they love and the ones that capitolize on both.)

But gosh, everything from Logan Paul already having to apologize for his behaviour and we’re only three days into 2018. Whey didn’t he just sit in a bar with a prosecco and chill a second?

If you are unaware of what he did, well…that’s a good thing. I do feel sorry for the poor boy, yet when you push the line, for attention…there is always backlash. I don’t think he expected it to backfire the way it did and I do think that he knew and still knows what he was and IS doing. It was in poor taste and well he ran on an excited energy, for a lot of ‘look at me,’ rather than using his nogging. It worked…negatively.

SIX MILLION views later…and Logan is forced to ‘say sorry’ and attempt to make it right to save his career.

We’re THREE DAYS IN! Rein it in!

Then all sorts happened, Paris (as in Hilton)…I am a product of the Hilton Brand, after tinkering off her ITV2 show, she is now engaged, with her $2million dollar ring and her ‘looks really happy to have found her soulmate’ video…The Jena Frumes/Lingard story….popped out of nowhere…(I can’t decide if it’s a PR stunt or a real life bit of pokery?) If it’s real…then he’s pretty stupid, young, far too horny or blind. If it’s a stunt…then it worked.

And just last night….Celebrity Big Brother began…filling the news with the opinions of showbizzy types…Katie Hopkins made her usual ridiculous remarks about transgender ladies, just to play her role of the villian…and already in that world, a couple days into 2018…Showbusiness has gone ‘cockaleaky,’ and i’ve already been called a ‘bad role model’ by a lady on Twitter who makes machines for the NHS…incase she ever found me on her CBB screen.

Hurrah!

It’s made me need a chill and a wine…and search for a wink of normality. I even messaged all the normal people that I know this morning, just to make sure I was still safe and sane. If anything, I adore peace. I adore the business of ‘show’ yet it’s all about balance for me. I can do both. Lots of people can’t.

So i’m going to use my little bit of kitten voice for all that is positive! 2018 is all about good vibes, love and that cosy bit of energy that leads you to your happy place. A place where you love what you do, adore what you have and believe in what you stand for…and what you stand for..INSPIRES.

I’m gonna start off with this..

I woke up this morning, still in my nighty, checked my inbox email and found the most beautiful poem from a fan…What I love about this person is the simple fact that on Instagram the evening before, he had commented, stating that he would write me a song or write me a poem. The next morning, it was in my inbox.

I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE STAND BY THEIR WORD.

It’s so attractive, because so many people, say SO many things and don’t actually mean what they say at all. You know they don’t mean it, because they never ever ‘action’ it.

(Oops hang on..I’m getting distracted. I’ve got quite a lot of things to promote and i’m trying to get through everything over the next couple of weeks. The powers above keep messaging me and dumping parcels infront of me with smiles…)

Anyhow, Here is the poem: (How Thoughtful, right!)

‘Chrissie Wunna

Always believe you’re worth it

Practice makes perfect
So beautiful but yet hardworking
Not a dumb blonde that’s only interested in twerking
Chrissie Wunna
Such a stunner
Light up anywhere like the sun in summer
You’d look good in any number
I feel you have sharp intellect
I wonder what is your main interest
When you die that’s the time to take a rest
Remember to save n invest
Towards your future will leave you feeling truly blessed
Don’t take no disrespect
Never expect
Think carefully what you accept
Stay away from fuck boys
Who try play girls like toys
You’re special
Got the right credentials
Very essential
A man would be proud for you to have their last initial
Wife material
Imagine waking up in the morning chilling drinking tea whilst you eat your cereal
Nice smile
You got alot of style
Dress elegant
Manners are excellent
You run a tight ship within your own regiment
Like a veteran
Chillin wid the folks counting benjamins
Celebrate life cause all you do is win.’

That is one of the first things I read today and it filled my soul with delight. What a lovely person. It made my day! (AND he rhymed ‘Wunna’ with ‘Stunner’ and referred to money as ‘Benjamins.’ That’s double points. I have the best fans! 🙂 AND all my chick friends are accidentally blond, so I like that he called them a bit ‘dumb.’ Hahaha. (If you’re my chick friend and a brunette… My apologies..I’ve forgotten about you of recent. :). All the points! Yes I win…..

You are SO THOUGHTFUL.

Thoughtfulness is so sexy. From the bottom of my kitten heart.

THANK YOU.

(Oh!! AND TO ALLEN, who sent me the flowers! THANK YOU.)

It actually put me in a really positive mood and after reading all the rest of your messages….(and I couldn’t thank you enough for all the love I’m receiving, as you really are making me smile, you really are making my day..) I sorted myself out, made a few phone calls and got back on the deliciously clean ‘straight and narrow.’

Well..that’s after I watched the trailer to ‘Fifty Shades Freed! It looks amazing.I’m totally obsessed. Yes to Mrs Grey!! I can’t wait for February to go watch it with my ‘NO DATE. ‘ Ugh! Why can’t Christian Grey be real? Even if he was…he’d probably opt for not dating me, which would be somewhat awkward. 🙂

I thought everyone loved the Orientals?

I am starting my fitness plan next week. There’s an inappropriate ‘jiggle’ to my wiggle’ right now. I adore my body. I do. Don’t get me wrong. But at 37, after two babies…and a delightful Christmas of cocktailing and eating everything, my body is far too ‘playground’ as I like to call it. There are far too many juicy bits, that should be a little more… tame.

So yes, the diet starts now…The fitness plan begins next week…and who have I gone with to get my kitty self into shippy shape…The one and only, cheeky chappy Joe Wicks…The Body Coach. Millions of you are already following him, so I really don’t need to tell you to. We had a Twitter ‘Morning/Morning’ this morning…meaning I am now read to go.

In 90 days…He will be responsible for any ‘good’ that my body goes through. So, if i look banging…I’ll let him take the credit. On a less funny note…I am sincerely inspired by him….and I really hope you are too!

Wish my sorry ass LUCK.

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