Hi! I haven’t abandoned you! Just lots going on right now, which is ticking my work boxes off with ‘deliciousness.‘ I’m learning a lot about people and life right now. I always thought I knew everything. I would wouldn’t I!! 😉 I can be such a cocky little shit at times. But what i’ve treasured from my darling little accidental ‘life learns’ over the past couple days, is that you should never ever be afraid to voice how YOU FEEL about something, someone, or a situation, no matter how awkward it may make you or others feel. By nature, I’m a ‘voicer’ and I stand by being expressive, until the day I keel over in glitter heels. It’s good for everyone!
(Like last night, I sent someone a message because I must’ve kinda doubted myself…I did cringe after I sent it…But it was how I really felt in the moment. I chilled a second..and just like that, this morning… everything was back to dandy.)
Another lesson…Don’t doubt yourself.
(I’m only saying that so I remember… But you always need life lesson reminders.)
The right people will always understand you. The ones who truly care for you, will always still be there. The people who do you wrong, or disappear will always say ‘sorry’ or come back to you whole heartedly…if they’re meant to be in your life. Stay loyal to what you believe is right for YOU and DO NOT go against, what your gut instinct tells you…
Unless, your gut instinct is kinda ‘off par,‘… then you’re kinda fucked. 🙂 Like one of my Straight guy friends, he has the worst ‘Gaydar‘ in the entire world ever! He can never be trusted with it…
Straight Friend: ‘He’s not gay..’
Me: ”We’re in G.A.Y, he said he loved me on the Hilton Show, loves my eyeshadow and then said *i’m gay.*”
Straight Friend: ‘That doesn’t mean he’s actually gay..’
Anyway….busy weekend! I travelled to Manchester. Well I did Stockport and then this other place that began with ‘L,’ for work. I can’t really tell you too much about it other than, I was in trainers…(I KNOW…HELL DIDN’T FREEZE OVER.) Around me there were really bright, almost neon, yellow walls, bright orange, semi circled chairs.. in a sports hall, tons of paperwork everywhere….and humans.
There was even a point where I was trapped in a room, with a ballet bar and a giant mirrored wall…with a black elasticated waist band strapped around me, that had a HUGE, ALMOST GIANT elastic band attached to it. (Could life get any offer.) And to make it worse…I was also in swimming goggles, which pretty much broke my heart.
‘What about my flipping eyelashes…I can’t see a thing. I can’t ACTUALLY SEE!’
Then as a camera filmed, others watched and a panel of humans took notes…the giant elastic band, was slowly pulled back, so it was stretched out, to its absolute tightest…. and then let go on me.
Did that happen to you on Sunday?
‘Hustle Barbie’ messaged me during the day to see how it was all going…
Me: ‘Aww! Yeah. Such a blast. I have just had a giant elastic band, stretched back and pinged into my fanny!!’
Hustle: ‘Hahaha. I love it! I can’t wait!’
Before that I was having a conversation with a cabaret act. He was once on the Xfactor Bloopers and wore golden glittery shoes…There was also a Tattooed model, an elderly lady dressed in a CHICKEN OUTFIT, a former Aston Villa pin up girl (who was cool, witty and said she used to be 29 stone,) a guy from Belfast, who thought a bomb or something shifty was under his chair, a guy opposite me who had flown in from Perth and to my right sat a football player…
We had to blow a balloon up and draw whatever we wanted on it…
Football Player: ‘What have you drawn on your balloon?’
Me: ‘Boobs…You’ve drawn a football net… We’re so creative. Lol’
Then he starts reading everything about me. We had these sheets by us, that pretty much stated our lives in 2 pages of A4. I didn’t LET him read it…he just couldn’t stop reading it. (Must be my charm.)
Football Player: ‘You look great! You’re really pretty. You’re soo…’
Me; ‘Thanks. That’s sweet. Lol.’
Football Player: ‘As if your body’s like that and you’ve had two kids.’
(He kept reading notes about me, putting his head up and then making a statement.)
Me: ‘Hahah. Smooth. Scoring all the points.’
Footy Player: ‘So you’re a blogger and model. What’s a glamour model? I’m having to take a break from football…that’s why I’m here. I bought out my contract and..’
Me: ‘Where are you from? Who did you play for?
Footy Player: ‘France. I’m here because of football. It’s my life. I love it. I just hate the other shit that comes with it. I’ve played for lots of clubs…Like Tottenham…*******…..********** but…yeah, I guess I don’t look really professional. I’m not playing right now…I’ve actually moved to Leeds.’
(Then he told me loads of secrets that I cannot possibly tell you)
…and in that moment I actually felt really bad for him…because an unhappiness swirled about him….But we were there to do a job that day and everyone there…did. He was a really open guy…quite quiet… I didn’t fancy him at all….he just wasn’t my type…but he was a good friend during that day. He sort of latched onto me because he trusted me.
I felt bad for him because at one point, all the guys were just stood around him constantly, asking him continuous questions about ‘football this, football that…’ and all the things he didn’t want to talk about…I watched it and just saw him look uncomfortable. Show business, is not something that he is necessarily used to.
I felt bad because you can literally ask me anything. I write a whole online diary about my entire existence. I bloom when a camera is plonked in my face. Opening up about my life, what I think and making a ‘show’ of it, is all is my forte… It’s where I feel comfy. AND I do not LIKE to see other people feeling UNCOMFORTABLE. I wanted to go tell his story for him. Lol.
But then, as life would have it, he too got trapped in a mirrored room, with a giant elastic band strapped onto his waist. Again, like moi….he toooo, had to have it ‘stretched out and pinged back’ upon himself. 🙂 Kinda ‘broke him into’ entertainment.
Just a great day. I had a blast. I met so many people, who were all so different to me. I was fascinated. Sometimes, I found them a bit boring, but other times I found them alright. Lol. Plus, I’m never wearing swimming goggles ever again. I’m a bloody glamour puss…not a…Goggled, boobied… life guard. AND i was in flipping trainers!!! EWW! On the way there, a guy named ‘Trigger’ tried to make me GET IN HIS CAR.
Me: ‘No. You’re alright mate. I’ll just walk.’
Trigger: ‘Well gimme ya numba den..’
Me: ‘My phone doesn’t work. 🙂 Godda go.’
Trigger: ‘Get in my car. Honest. I’ll takes you there. I’m a good person me.’
Me: ‘I am absolutely sure you are. And I am absolutely not getting in your car. Lol But thank you so much, banter was fun…’
I couldn’t wait to get home Sunday evening. Then I went through emailed drama…so I just left it.
Too blessed to be stressed. *Shimmie everywhere.*
On the train there though, this guy…I don’t even know his name? Anyway, he was from Chesterfield, got on my train, had a huge Ikea bag filled with clothes, he was wearing a beanie hat and an oversized jacket. He tooo, was also en route to Manchester and sat on the chair next to me.
Funny guy, and so different to me, but we got on well. Bless him.
Now, I usually hate talking to strangers on the train. I’m chatty. But i usually like to chill, as I spend my life talking to strangers and selfie posing with or for them. I really liked talking to this stranger because he humored me and right from the moment he sat down he apologized for having the hugest bag in the world.
Him: ‘Are you getting off soon? Should we swap places?’
Me: ‘Yeah, if you want… I’m off at the next stop.’
Him: ‘Stockport’s a good 40 mins away yet. We’ll be fine.’
Turns out he used to work at Tesco’s, hated it so much because it made him feel worthless, just like a number. And that’s like any normal ‘just to make money‘ job really…If you don’t create your own dream and work it, you end up working someone else’s dream, where you are always a number…even when they try and tell you you’re not. And you’re a classed as a ‘number’ because you can quite easily be replaced…even if you think you can’t.
Him: ‘I gave up my job, my everything and just fucked off to Amsterdam really for a month… It was great.’
He said it like he couldn’t feel more liberated. I liked it, because he wasn’t scared to let go of something that made him feel miserable.
Him: ‘I think i just sat in this cafe, the whole time and spend about £1000 in a week doing nothing… I met this couple and they had started up a clothing business…They were travelling around, selling clothes…I liked it, so I told them that I was completely gonna steal their idea and did.’
That’s what he does now…He owns ‘Red & Blue Umbrella’ which is a Vintage clothing company. He’s opened up a store in Manchester (that’s where he was taking the clothes.) It’s four months new and is looking to open up in Leeds, Edinburgh and London? I might have just made London up?
Nicest guy, funniest guy, and now on his way to doing great things…after giving up something that wasn’t true to his heart.
Me: ‘You’re gonna do well.’
Him: ‘Yeah, it’s still early days yet… Plus, I believe that you can FAIL at something YOU HATE, so you might as well give something a go and maybe fail at something you LOVE.’
Me: ‘I love that.’
Him: ‘I don’t even know if I saw that couple in Amsterdam. It was either all the ‘shrooms’ or actual human beings…couldn’t really tell you.’
Either way. Lol. It worked out for him.
I was sat next to him and I was showing him the pics that I had just posted on Instagram…( it was enthralling for him, i’m sure, lol) and he showed me how to work depop.
I will be posting products on my depop this week , for you to buy…at some point.
These were my Instagram pics. 🙂 Lol.
Me: ‘My stop…Godda go!’
Then I headed on my way. I looked back. He didn’t see me look back, and I saw him looking at his phone and laughing. He looked really happy. Then some middle aged lady asked to sit next to him..He shuffled his Ikea bag over.
Chick Friend Jodie: ‘As if he just randomly got on a train and just so happened to sit next to you. It’s always really awkward for them because you’re someone who they don’t know immediately, but then discover. But they discover it during their time of sitting next to you on the train, or whilst you’re at the bar ordering a gin… It’s crazy for them.’
Me: ‘It’s not crazy. It’s not that good a discovery. Lol. But a guy who came and sat at my table…That New Jersey one, when I went to visit Ronnie…he actually said that he excused himself from the table, went to the toilet, Googled me, saw a bunch of pictures and read my last blog post, before sitting himself back down. I thought he had gone to do a wee. I’m actually oblivious to it I like it though. I like it when they read my blog.’