A Ticket To Dullsville

So I spent my first half of Tuesday with one of my chick besties ‘Firmonnell.’ I kinda tottered down the street, in my giant Cruella Deville faur fur, (it wasn’t Dalmatian…it was ‘Little Mistress,’) as she began to pretend that I lived in a caravan and I convinced her that she was pregnant. Lol. It’s how we roll. This was after talks of Prosecco and periods. I get carried away with baby talk, it fills me with excitement. I sizzle over with an utter flourish of ‘ooh laa.’ To me, nothing is more fulfilling than creating humans..Y’know, little ‘Mini Me’s.’ However,  Firmonnell…well… she pretends she hates it. She doesn’t hate it. She just…well… she just hates it. 🙂

We laughed all the way to Wakefield and guided each other to appropriate parking spots…where parking meters didn’t work.

Firmonnell: ‘As if you’ve made me park this far away.’

Me: ‘It’s just around here somewhere?’

Firmonnell: ‘You don’t know where we are, do you?’

Me: ‘It’s by the Bull Ring, or something? What if we take this shortcut? Lol.’

Lots of things happened on Tuesday. It felt fun! It started off with a whatsapp message that made me smile. When you get a good message to start your day, it kinda sets the tone, doesn’t it. It makes the rest of your day that little bit rosier.

There were moments where mini prosecco bottles were guzzled in carparks, in the style of ‘bouji pirates.’Times when ‘Double B’ referred to males as a ‘pink whisky faces.’ Sweeps of time, where in which we watched young girls perform dance routines, by bundles of straw, to Beyonce remixes. (We could’ve shown them how it SHOULD be done.) There was laughter. Good times. Infact, I might have had a weird conversation with a girl, about how they talk to plants to make them grow. Then finally…after my brain had fried itself with hard work..

‘I swear I was built for pleasure and not such mental labour…’

…I got home to the babies and indulged in an early night and WHAT IS BETTER, than an ‘early night’ when you really really need one!

IT WAS BLISS.

TODAY…was boring as hell. Lol. Fucking boring.

It was one of those days, where there’s zero excitement, not juice and no ‘ooh laa’ in sight. One of those days where you scroll through your emails, check your messages, look around you…and everything is simply so beige, it’s dull. Lol. There was no magic in the air. Everything was still. I couldn’t even call the day ‘vanilla,’ as even that would give it a flavour. Now, I’m a positive soul by nature and if i can’t roll a turd in glitter, then NO ONE CAN.

What was today!!!

If i hate anything…I hate dull. I hate ‘still.’ I’m a fast mover. I’m not a patient person. I yearn for excitement, I look for it and enjoy it. I adore buzzy bits of happiness. I live for them, they feed my kitten soul. I don’t know whether it’s because i’m a fire sign or an idiot? Yet either way, I LOVE to feel excited. I love to feel surprised. I love a bit of sassy banter. In work, I smile at a sense of achievement. In love, I love to feel adored. I I love everything that makes me radiate. That’s when any human is at their most powerful.

Today was boring. Haha!

The only exciting parts where the moments where in which I witnessed two of my friends, kinda weirdly ‘fall’ for each other with the most cutest innocence. They’ve decided to go on a date. It made me smile. It’s cute!

I did also watch a video where in which someone batted a tennis ball with a willy. Not by choice. Maybe by choice? Who knows?  It was hilarious, nonetheless. Who knew anyone could do that?

There was also a moment where in which my chicks friends decided to compare the worst looking guys they’ve ever been with. Lol. That certainly passed some time. It soon went back to boring.

Then ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I decided that we were emotionally needy (lol) and had brief chats on how guys were so different to girls. We’re both really different girls, yet both really similar when it comes to love and expression.

The day turned to night…It’s finally turned to night (Boooooooooyaaaaaaah) and all I can say, as i chill on my pretty flamingo sheets is..

‘Cya Wednesday…You were dull.’

Let’s hope tomorrow is glistened over with magic.

Send me excitement…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Be A Dick & Life Choices

 

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I’ve had a couple of gin and tonics so were gonna have to watch it and you’re gonna have to bare with me. 🙂 I’ve put ‘blog writing’ off all evening, as i’ve been playing with Rubes and just neglecting the art of expression via written word long after she had decided to get some kip.

In my mind it’s Christmas time now and yes we all have a ton of work. I’ve been at work all day. But come on now, let’s have a bit of fun, or decent old chilled time, where we can kick off our kitten heels and just pour ourselves an after work tipple to relax and celebrate the year!

I have a birthday in FIVE DAYS, so i have all the excuses in the world to ‘tick box’ a sack load of fun. I mean, God, life is about filling ya cup, as you can’t pour from an empty one! So let’s enjoy it, whilst we still can. (I’ve just read this scary quote that states that if we as humans slept or 8 hours per day and we live to be sixty….we will have slept for 20 years of our lives. It apparently gives us a reason to get up the first time our alarm goes off in the morning? I don’t count in any of this, as being a single mum, with full time work, if i EVER slept for 8 hours on ANY DAY, it would be a blessing.)

I’ve had a decent time today as i’ve worked hard and enjoyed banter. Apparently my blog is so good that it SENDS PEOPLE TO SLEEP! Lol.

‘Chrissie, I love reading your blog and hate it when you don’t write one, as i read it before i go to bed and it sends me to sleep!’

Hahaha! I love it! Be it comforting or boring. Or be you sixteen or sixty….I adore that you have clicked into a bit of Wunna land, before you’ve gone to ‘n’nights.’ Makes me smile! My mum also reads my blog every night before she goes to bed and then screams at me the next morning if i’ve been a dick. 🙂 It’s all about how you’ve raised your kids. 😉 LOL.)

My friend ‘The Mighty’ is about to give birth in the coming months and is preferring to surround herself with fun ‘drink too much’ friends, rather than nice stalkery ones, who we don’t know are actual normal humans or Guardian Angels? I believe in Guardian Angel pop ups. So i’m going with that. Plus, it makes more story more magical than just saying ‘stalker.’

For some reason it made me flash back to a time when a gay guy, stopped me in a club, (I think it was Pre Bar in London) and wanted to name his cat ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ in my honour. Instead he went with ‘Jackonory’..and told me this on the dance floor, as Kylie played in the background. (I had just come off the telly, trying to be best friends with Paris Hilton, at the time.) I mean, JACK…A…FUCKING …NORY! When does that ever *trump* naming your kitten ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ (That was the night Mark Byron, who’s now a Big Brother Telly Presenting Star, asked me to hide his rent money cash in my knickers so he didn’t spend it all on booze. Lol. At that time he used to give out flyers to make people venture into clubs. Now…he’s ‘Off the telly’ Mark and currently doing Panto in Liverpool, dressed as a Genie.)

Today’s ‘Bone to pick’ is this. I had some blogger chick, slag off my ‘Nominated for a UK Blog Award’ moment because it’s apparently ‘not a popularity contest and should be purely based on content.’ (She’s nominated also.)

HANG ON A SECOND MISSY! LET’S JUST TAKE THAT ‘PRINCESS’ IN YOU AND PIPE IT DOWN A NOTCH.

Firstly, you should concentrate on your own bit of cyberland and not chirp off at mine. This space ain’t rented it’s bought and it’s blooming right now, so enjoy it doll face and pour yourself a cocktail.

Secondly…BEFORE I WAS ANYTHING…I was a blogger. I wrote a blog daily in LA for years and have done for the last 10 years. EVERY DAY and when not a single soul read it! I wrote a diary for years before that, before my life story ever became ‘live.’ I wrote and documented my on goings, before ‘having a blog’ and being social media savvy was popular and that was before i became a model…a party queen Lol….before i accidentally moved back to the UK and got on the TV with Paris Hilton…before I had a book out….before i created a range for Ann Summers on the telly….before, before…before it all.

Now, i’m not stupid…All that did make my blog more popular. Yet if anything, i’ve always simply documented my life, the good bits, with the bad. You’ve heard my heart break, you’ve seen me victory dance,  you’ve listened to my make ups, breakups, watched births, my life journey, raw pain and laughter. I’ve told the story of it all. Like God, that moment when my husband left me and he did it by moving all his stuff out of the home when i was out. I came home with my 2 year old daughter and a newborn…and he was gone…All i got was a text. I told that story..and that had nothing to do with a world of limelight or a popularity contest. That was life.

Yet there have been times when i’ve partied with Leonardo Di Caprio and gone out on dates Matt Dillion and been shut in a house with Paris Hilton for a month straight as ITV2 filmed every waking moment of fun for public entertainment.

Just the same as the story above it…It was all still part of my life.

So i’m not  reality star turned blogger. I’m a writer. And i might have been ace enough to make the UK Blog Awards ‘Trend’ on Twitter. But i can’t help being that awesome. 🙂 AND that DOESN’T MEAN THE CONTENT ON MY BLOG IS SHITE.

I’ve said it once and i’ll say it again…BILLIONS OF PEOPLE are doing life, right now as we speak…I’ve simply chosen to document my version of it…Everyone’s life is important. We’re all in it together. Just these little soul dots, chilling on a giant Earth ball as we orbit the sun.

So whilst i’m being hailed as the ‘Real life Carrie Bradshaw,’ YOU are being gummy stickered with a sexy ‘Hater’ slap badge.

Okay, i’ve sipped more gin and tonic. I’m better now!

I will tell you that this Saturday, ‘House of Solo’ Mag owner Arthur and I will be headed for lunch at Gino D’Acampos new joint ‘My Restaurant’ in Leeds. I’m so excited as i’ve heard great things about it and…well i know that Gino was there himself, last night, cooking dinner for everyone! Arthur at ‘House of Solo’ and I have ended up being ace buddies. We’re both passionate about our goals, where we want to be and our own bit of business. He shot Tom Zanetti the other night for the front cover of his mag. I met Tom at the Leeds Lifestyle Awards, as he gave out the award for ‘Best Club.’ I’m definitely going to make him my new Leeds ‘hang out’ mate. As i’m sure (even though i’m doing Manchester a lot of recent) that all three of us going to help put Leeds on the map! 🙂

See! Northerners are known for having a good time. Yet we can also do business quite well to. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breast Milk Pancakes?

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‘Yeah, but honestly i was mental. I was involved in some kind of group, where all my friends came over and made things like breast milk pancakes,’ said ‘Firmonnell to the Little Burmese, ‘just got back into work after shimming at The Clothes Show, with the likes of Joey Essex’ Glamour Puss.

(It felt good to be back to normality.)

Hahaha! What the actual FUCK! I literally know the BEST humans alive. Nothing, (and I do mean this honestly) made my life worth living today, as much as that statement. Not even my own children. Lol. I mean, who is ACE enough to have actually joined a group where in which women, (who had just had babies) squirted milk out of their post preggo boobs, added eggs and made pancakes with it. I AM DYING!!! HAHAHAH. We all actually know a ‘Preggo Princess’ right now and let me tell you, nothing would make me happier, than the reassurance of knowing that she also, followed the likes of ‘Firmonnell’ and made breast milk pancakes with odd, other post birth chicks and simply for kicks. Hahahaha. The evil breast feedy *force* groups terrify me. They’re like smiley, angelic looking HITLERS. They all need to get kicked when the knock at your door…with Louboutin heeled DIVA feet. I bet they all have husbands. Husbands who never get sex. See! This is where i’m going wrong. All the relationships I end up in… include sex. I’ve been a wife THREE FLIPPING TIMES…and they all took a U Turn. I need to ban sex from my love life and start forcing men to breast feed. Pancake groups for everyone!

Then the focus went onto talks of how i keep taking slutty pics in Disney/Primark Onesies and posting them all over Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 🙂 In the words of Lisa ‘The zippers seem to have broken off them all.’ Lol.

I didn’t explain myself too well…as i always figure you never have to explain yourself really, when you’re Me and you have charm and winks that speak for themselves…But the actual story behind the slutty onesie pics is this…

I was shopping with my kids around Doncaster. Ruby really wanted me to look like a Kangeroo and a Fox, so we bought the equivalent Onesies from Primark. I wore them at home. The kids loved it, as it was like i was a fun toy. They went to bed. I had a whole bunch of Prosecco…the zipper came down and BOOM, that was the birth of the ever so popular ‘slutty onesie’ Wunna pics. It should trend. You all should do it. When i take them, i really do think i’m some kind of Burmese Pamela Anderson.

Is this why i’m single? Why am I a tool?

Even Keiran (Junior’s Dad) text me the other night with a casual ‘How’s Junior’ and he followed it up with an ‘I thought you’d be keeping busy posting half naked pictures of yourself.’

Blah! I don’t take playful criticism from people with giant beards. I simply stated that i looked great, hundreds of people agreed…(I WILL GET OVER MYSELF,) he ‘monkey emoji’ed’ me and then we laughed it off. At least we can have a laugh.

I mean, ‘The Mighty’ even said ‘It’s just funny because you’re doing it in a Disney, Monsters Inc Onesie.‘ Hahaha.

Prosecco made me do it girls. They should give it to people in church. (Have i officially offended everyone now? Lol)

(Oooh, i’ve just rushed to put my pink laptop on charge, as it’s running out of juice and the best smelling swirl has just danced under my nose. I’ve got this bag stuffed with bath bombs, like i’m some kind of greedy LUSH thief. They’re for Ruby’s teachers. We couldn’t think of things to get them, so we just went with bath bombs. SHIT LOADS OF BATH BOMBS.)

Lots of gents are hitting on me right now and i’m feeling so ‘whole’ that i’m not really bothered by it? It’s weird because i’m looking for love, my Mr Right. Yet, I can’t be really as I just seem to be all happy as i am and not concerned with it, until it smacks me in the face and I get swept off my feet.

In life there’s only been ONE guy that has swept me off my feet romantically. The rest have liked me, but not really. Infact, no Mikey Ray my first hubby loved me. I’m glad he’s gone on to do so well in life. He’d be dead proud of me now. But we don’t speak.

Talking about ‘no speaky!’ Get this, ‘Eton Mess’ and I aren’t even talking anymore. He hasn’t messaged me to say ‘hi’ or anything in a couple weeks. How weird. I haven’t messaged either yet girls shouldn’t have to. Boys should do the leg work and they nly do it if they’re truly into you. (And yes, i do get that lots of you are hitting up my inbox with ‘leg work.’ But, with girls, we have to properly fancy you in the first place to appreciate. We are SWINES like that.

I’ve said it before. It’s sweet getting messaged lovely ‘advances’ (at times,) when you’re not being pervy. I’m flattered. Utterly flattered. Especially as i’m smashing into thirty six on the 19th of this month. It makes me feel fanciable and i appreciate that. HOWEVER, we as girls wait for that one message fro that guy that we adore…and it’s when we get THAT message that our kitten hearts skip a beat.

I do mean that in general, as i’m totally single. There is no apple of my eye. I reckon i’m the most eligible Bachelorette going. 🙂 But i would wouldn’t I, because i’m a glamourous… plank.

 

The way I see it is that THIS YEAR, more than ANY year in my entire life and BOY HAVE I DATED ALL OVER THE GLOBE. Hundreds of times. Lol. I’ve romanced many a man. (That’s the problem, it should be the other way around.) But this year, i have had the honour of meeting some of the greatest guys, that i’ve ever gone on dates with in my life. Such handsome, fun, sweet, sassy gents. I’ve had a great time.

But now i’m headed for better times. Times that i deserve!

Come at me life!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 30 Something Single Life….

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I’m a tiddly bit lucky. Life is being kind to me right now and even though I’ll go through blips where in which i’ll forget how lucky I am, (it’s human nature, we throw pity parties until we get over ourselves…Mine only last milliseconds, or a cocktailed up evening with good friends..Some people draaaag there’s on and on…and being someone who hates having to ‘heave ho’ pull anything, be it an opportunity that won’t release, mega sized luggage…I always travel light….or a guy/girl who isn’t quite on the same page as you in the ‘Book of Love,’ it’s a trait that i find unattractive. Pity Parties are never sexy, be you in the new Sophia Webster signature heels or designer barber stubble. Rewind it back, sort yourself out and get a new mind set…then have a mojito. They go well after a Pity Party.

Now i’m getting a flashback of my first husband Mikey, on our wedding night. He’s American and a good soul. He cried when i walked down the garden isle, by a lake field with swans, because i looked so beautiful. I found him later that night, PASSED OUT 🙂 IN A BUSH, in the outside restaurant area OF THE HOTEL BEL AIR, in NOTHING BUT a pair of pulled up Guinness socks and a FEDORA. Hahah. Nothing else! And as a new young 20 something year old bride, in my cream vintage designer gown, with the real life Julia Roberts chilling, as she had her dinner on a nearby table, i had to DRRRAAAAG lol my new husband, out of this bush, away from the restaurant and into our bridal suite. I even had a lace fan in my hand. Haha. I still dragged gracefully even though it was a ball ache….literally…and he was shouting out things, that might suggest he was a  rummed up pirate 🙂 Didn’t bother me, i found it funny. And even though we’re divorced now…and have been divorced for a decade…he’s a good guy. Weird and funny…but a good soul. I learnt a lot from him and respected him. We were just too young to be able to figure out how to make the pieces of our jigsaws fit. We were so different..and even today we still are.

Just because you’ve ended up in a relationship with someone for a while and you love them and you’re very fond of them…it  doesn’t necessarily mean that they are your Mr or Mrs Right. It can do and you can live happily ever after. But it doesn’t necessarily. They are there to journey you though a certain chapter, as you are for them. You’ll know when you meet your match, as you will feel it IMMEDIATELY, like electricity, chemistry, it will terrify you and you won’t believe it or even know what to do. If you try and fight it, ‘The Gods’ will be positively walking your life paths back into one another’s world, out of what YOU think is nowhere, yet the stars suggests is fate. That girl or guy will be so aligned with you, that they admire & respect everything about you positively and you will not be able to help but fall in love with them emotionally, mentally and on levels of both friendship and sexuality. Long lasting relationships like good music need to have soul, otherwise you’re just ‘playing’ a game of ‘couples.’

You should go where life suggests you go….because it’s suggested for a reason. You don’t need a plan nor do you need to over analyse it. You just need to strap in and go with it. That’s what those who are loyal to their own sense of happiness do.  The rest just remain…still…stuck..or even worse…unhappy. Unhappy people at cocktail bars, always look shit. I always see them, wonder why they came out to cocktail anyway and kinda just wished they just went back to their hotel penthouse and watched a bit of porn.

Incase you didn’t realise, i’m quite the champion at knowing what i want, what’s right for me and going for it. I do it with ease and without fear. I’m expressive. I’m comfortable. I’ve got the right glitter heels on for it. I understand life and love and people. I’ve taken the time to be interested in it. I can smell out the strong from the weak and be gentle to those who need love or a bit of motivation. (Provided they don’t drag on about it. 😉 )

I’m thirty five and single…but i’m lavish and i’m fun and filled with this radiating yellow gust of excitement. I’m sassy but i’m warm. I’m playful, yet i’m far from foolish.

And i will say that if you are a thirty something single girl or guy (and it’s a really difficult age to date at,) you don’t have to panic. Decades ago being single used to mean that no one wanted you, or that there was definitely something wrong with you. Like you’ve been left on the shelf. Whereas now, it’s pretty goddamn sexy and there’s a stamp of emotional power that goes with it. A strut that says that you are able to take your time, enjoy your life and decide who you want to spend it with. IF that’s something you decide to do. No one says you have to couple up. I am certainly someone who will, as i prefer to share good times. But you don’t have to!

Friend: ‘Chrissie, The Bible says we have to find partners like Mary and Joseph found each other.’

Me: ‘The Bible doesn’t fucking say that. The Bible says MARY fell PREGNANT & didn’t even have SEX. The Good Lord ‘blessed her’ with 9 months of waddling around in agony, whilst being rode around on a donkey and she didn’t even get to do the fun part.’

Friend: ‘You should definitely teach religious studies in schools.

 

A jazzy bit of co…parenting…

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Brilliant Sunday! Woken up refreshed! Had my own loin fruit attempt to *tease* me because i looked ‘rough’ without my face on.

‘Aww, well that’s unfortunate for you two, as you BOTH seem to have the same FACE as me, without my ‘face’ on. :)’ 

Then one squeezed my boob and the other slapped my bum and they both filled the air with giggles, as they ran into Wunna land to go off and cause havoc. GOD! Why can’t i just wake up in the morning and hear a ‘You’re beautiful’ without having to go on my Facebook comment sections, or say ‘Cya, catch ya later’ to a boy who doesn’t actually love me. (Note// That doesn’t happen often. But has happened enough, throughout my lifetime. Ah fuck! Now, i’m *flashbacking* each one in turn. Happy Sunday.)

This morning, i’ve tingo, tangoed at Ackworth Garden Centre, to enjoy Christmas early with little Baby Junior. He loves it there and well we just can’t keep away. It could be Christmas every day for me. I love it. It’s my birthday soon. It’s my favourite time of year! I’m all bout the mulled wine and tinseled tits. I’ll sit on Santa’s knee any day of the year. 😉

Then we shopped for groceries, but only down all the warm isles, as i hate the cold ones, they make me feel uncomfortable and have really bad lighting. 🙂  I was in my giant white faux fur, as decent folk judged my basket…and i was fine with that as it took the focus off ME…even though it was MY basket.

‘Oh? Pull ups and wine?’ (YES, PULL UPS AND WINE. Deal with it. 🙂 )

After that Junior and I grabbed a ‘drinky methinky’ at Ego, in Ackworth. I have so much fun there and the staff are always great to my family and I. I had margaritas by a toy tractor and Junior had a double juice bonanza and got so comfy.. that he fell asleep. Haha. This is not  regular family cocktail bar etiquette. Not that it’s normal for children to be in family cocktail bars. But in Wunna land it’s pretty normal. Ruby LOVES a hotel executive suite. 😉 And it’s not even because she’s bouji, it’s simply because when she was tiny, i had to travel a lot, audition a lot and appear briefly on tv shows. I was a single mum, she had to come with me, with child care.

Anyway we ended up having to skip lunch and just get a taxi home…Junior has NEVER been in a taxi, in his entire life and doesn’t understand the concept of it all. So the absolute despair on his face, was hilarious. He gave him *daggers* the entire way home.

‘WHO IS THAT WEIRD MAN? Why are we getting into his car?’

But today i’m feeling really grateful for life and the way our little family works. First and foremost, my parents…they’re so amazing at helping me through the ‘single mum’ malarky. I’m  a ‘work really hard’ Mum…to hopefully build some wonderful empire…and well i couldn’t even try to do it without them. It’d just be shit, a lot harder and almost impossible and i’m someone who believes nothing is impossible. I’m a champ and i’m filled with determination. A guy once said that I…

‘..could walk into a room and own it and simply with a cheeky look in my eye.’ 

Anyway, the help they provide, aids me to take the elevator instead of the stairs through life and I like that. Lol. I don’t like things to be difficult, be it in work, love or pleasure. I like positive helpers outers…Men who can take control if i need them to, but who own a soft soul. I look for that quality in men always and hardly ever find it, as i associate such behavior with unconditional love.

THEN there’s the Dad’s. I literally have THE BEST ‘Baby Daddies’ in the world ever. As separate humans we’ve all been through a lot. And then with each other, we’ve (haha) CERTAINLY been through a lot. Lol. Jesus!

Yet we have so much love, time and respect for one another, glittered over with really solid friendships and really warm, not fake, co..parenting skills.The boys are cool with each other, i’m great with them both and they have additional girlfriends who have joined the team, who are nothing short of fabulous. And we co parent AS A TEAM, not as individuals. So both Dads will happily have both children and if they have a school event, EVERYONE will attend to cheer them the Wunna Babies…girlfriends n’all.

I  mean, God, last week, we were all so busy with work. I had day job and events to tend to for the blog,with a bundle of entertainmenty stuff. Keiran was having to work hard and maybe away,. Pete was ‘working working’ rushed off his feet, so Jade (Keiran’s girlfriend) had to do the early morning nursery drop off and Alice, (Pete’s Doll) had Ruby sleep over at her place, just so she could do the school run for me, in the morning…HOW SWEET IS THAT! And it all works swimmingly, with zero drama. Alice works at the nursery that Junior goes to,  so it was actually quite funny, as once she had dropped Ruby off at school, she dashed to work and met Jade, who dropped Junior off at nursery 🙂

Maybe Keiran, Pete and I have just manipulated the masses and managed to get other people parent for us. Lol. YAY!

But to anyone going through rough co..parenting times. It’s not worth the battle. I went through the hard times…so believe me, it’s not worth the ‘waste of time.’ Only fight if your child is in danger by being with the other parent.

I mean, so what if you’ve broken up, or he has a new girlfriend and life has turned things upside down. It’s a test of your strength and compassion and the ability to understand. It’s how it is and you have to move quickly into a better box, where in which you can get into a decent frame of soul, so you’re not a tool…as in this situation being a tool is not attractive. You’ll  regret it.

Our parenting triangle works because we’re not ‘in love’ with one another anymore. We’re friends who share babies, but we care enough to make it MORE than work. We smash it! And we don’t just do it because it’s the right thing, we do it because we’re all close. I mean GOD I was married to Keiran and Jeeze, i’ve known Pete since he was 11 and he’s now 31! They’re not idiot guys and i’m not an idiot girl. They’re people that i care for as family…I spent chapters of my life loving them and the kids adore how it all works. They even get excited over the fact that i might pick a guy to ‘join the team’ so to speak. Lol. We’re recruiting! Haha.

‘Who’s it gonna be Mum?’

Both boys will simply say that it works because i’m a positive soul…a decent chick, I just have ‘this way of making everything wonderful’ and our friends will say, infact i heard a guy in a bar once say…

‘that situation couldn’t have worked out any better, than it has. It’s crazy how great it is.

That makes me smile and it’s just getting better and better!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Wedding Bell Rewind

Okay, i’ve only plonked this picture up because you love it.

My favourite it actually this one…

But obviously there’s a hand infront of my face….lol…which is a massive cameraman ERROR. (You can’t win’em all. But whatever, i’m two babies own and i still can rock a hot tub body. 😉 )

Okay..i’m currently in the forest. (You know that anyhow) and well for the ones of you that don’t know or don’t have me as a matey on Facebook…today is actually my wedding anniversary. I’m SINGLE on my actual wedding anniversary. That’s how ace a wife I was. Don’t worry, i’ve had wine, so i’m not a weeping wreck. (I’m a happy drunk. I’m never that sad after a tipple. Backwards, I know, to say that two years ago today I was celebrating life with my brand new husband, i was about to fall pregnant and I thought my life would be perfect forever! I was SO in love, it was crazy.) I’ve already had my FB moan…and done the whole ‘i’m like a budget Geri Halliwell’ thing. Not because I think i’m a Spice Girl..that was me in the 90s. But because of the whole Union Jack thing. I admit, it’a bit less ‘Girl Power’ than Geri herself…yet it’s a whole lot more whorey…so do i win?

 

 

But yeah, time flies and it’s so bizarre. I really can’t stand it. I mean, the forest is divine and i’m lucky to have the children and such a great support system in order to keep me balanced. (EVERYONE needs a support system or something to live for and I’m been so so SO sad about the passing of Robin Williams, that my heart has literally ached for everything. It really has pinpointed what life is about to me. What an amazing man, actor and just basic human being, who made such an impact on all of our lives, that we all truly feel that a piece of us, or our childhood has been taken against our will. He was a guy that made everyone smile, laugh and feel happy for a living, yet deep inside he felt alone, sad and well…depressed. My heart goes out to his family. What a tragically heartbreaking loss. So bad, that it sort of made my moaning about my wedding anniversary seem trivial in comparison…which was a GOOD THING.)

RIP Robin. 🙁 🙁 🙁

Today was actually a great day, to say it was swirled in ‘could be bad if i chose it to be.’ Lol. I woke up to the sun beaming through the forest trees, feeling refreshed and adored by my little family. I was glowing. I’m happy here. Always happy. This place is so peaceful and reminds you of the things that matter in life that it truly is such a wonderful time. To me, it’s luxury in it’s SIMPLIEST FORM and the thing that people usually forget to do in life, other than relax, love and enjoy…is to keep it simple. We went on a morning forest walk…where Ruby decided to be the most excited little girl on the planet. Then I made a giant lunch, we hot tubbed and relaxed as I plonked on movies and sipped vino out of love. (The babies are fast asleep right now and today I have never ever seen them happier, in my entire life. When you’re ‘Mama’…that alone fills you with joy and i don’t mean that to sound cheesey. I honestly just MEAN that. It’s amazing. And that’s why I always say that in life, you always always need something or someone to love and live for. It makes life worth it.)

I can’t believe that i was getting married two years ago today. It’s so sad that it all came to an end. 🙁 I mean, it’s been a year of separation and time is the greatest healer, yet it doesn’t stop the days…like today…’the anniversary’…..from being important. It doesn’t stop you from going back in time and rethinking everything through. I’ve done the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘if only’s’ already…and i think a little part of me just wishes that something heroic and magical will happen…that he’ll do something amazing to put back the pieces, celotape the memories back together and take it step by step from there. That’s a normal feeling. But we haven’t contacted each other about our anniversary today… at all. Crazy innit! I feel like I didn’t get married and start a family to become separated and have the family broken down. I wanted togetherness…

HOWEVER…

the great thing about it all is that I survived the worst break up ever and i did it with dignity, looked after my babies, worked hard and managed to get back on track WITHOUT swirling down thw plug hole…not one bit! I was SUPER STRONG and I championed it and i only championed it because i had the CHILDREN. (The something to live for.) PLUS, i have an amazing family, especially MUM and a stream of wonderful friends. I had all the love support in the world, which got me through a time that could’ve been much much tougher.

I guess, in life…and you’ve all heard this before…when bad things happen to you…it’s not the badness of the things that happen that matter…yet the number of times you can get back up..with a goddamn smile and great hair… that make you ACE. It’s your bounce back ability and if i have anything…i have that. THIS BITCH IS A FIGHTER.

So feel strong…do things that make you happy. Love the people you’re meant o love and keep life simple. Understand life and what it’s about. See the big picture. Don’t waste your time. LOVE. Go to the forest in Union Jack bikini’s an hot tub. 😉 (You all loved it much.) And most of all…be happy in the skin you’re in. Once you are…you can and will conquer the world!

Today….regardless….i’m happy and i’m happy because i managed to focus on the great things i have going on in my life, rather than the bad things that have happened to me. PLUS, today isn’t a bad day at all, because remember….this time two years ago…i was about to fall pregnant!!! 🙂

I’ll cheers to that!

Wunna x

 

Friiiiiiiday Feeling.

a9

 

Morning my cherry pies of delight! 🙂 🙂 Today I am beaming, which is odd to say that i’ve had about 1 hours sleep due to my poorly Baby 2. He spent all night weeping and snotting….balling and coughing. (When I say ‘balling’ I do mean ‘more weeping’ and not the gangsta term for ‘pockets filled with cash,’ as obviously that would be odd to have a gangsta baby, yet probably more rewarding in the sense of…i’d get cash instead of no sleep. 🙂 )

Weirdly, once he woke and moaned a bit…boys will be boys. Ruby will be sick and champion it like a sailor, unless she’s tremendously ill. Junior…the slightest little, tiny, thing..and that’s it…his world has ended and he’s in the biggest, heart breaking tears imaginable. But that’s mean for you. You see, the good thing about Junior is that he’s still ‘boy’ before he thinks he has to put up this macho front of insecurity. All boys develop such a suit and well depending on their life experience and surroundings, some grow out of it and learn to be comfortable in their own skin…others….stay broken. Lol. Junior’s in the good stage of boy, where he is expressive, loving, happy, weepy…OPEN. I hope he always stays that way…and it will all depend on how i raise him. It’s often better when women raise boys because we know what a GOOD man is.

Over the moon though today. Have no idea why? Just happy. Got an early night. Woke up refreshed. Feeling appropriately adored by the masses and back to work today, since I couldn’t get much done yesterday…due to doctors appointments and poorly babies. I’m looking forward to the lash line now and well it’s developing into more than I thought. I’m now moving forward with plans, as my own business plan  is getting drawn up and well i’ve been doing all the correct research to get my product in all the correct places. Yesterday morning before 9am…it was all about the celeb goodie bag. I can’t believe how much i’ve actually being able to do myself, simply via the fine use of balls. I’m getting in doors that people never seem to even dare to knock at! It’s the Hollywood way! I tells ya! I’ve sort of adopted that work manner and brought it to my UK line of of ‘umph.’ All going well. Very happy. Plus, i’m not gonna lie, it’s filled with love, yet it’s sort of a big LAUGH at all the people who didn’t want me to achieve, didn’t think I would be able to do it…(I’ve never been a hater, so I never get why people SECRETLY enjoy to do it to me. 🙂 ) It’s also a bit of ‘look at me,’ with a dollop of inspiration for all those alone and sort of being a struggling Mum of two. It’s hard work being a Mama and well i’ve done tremendous work in this area 🙂 with BOTH babies…on my own…and look…i manage to create a  business that’s hopefully gonna work tooo! YOu can do it girls! I feel strong because I feel like I have everyone on my side. I can’t believe my luck and I often have a happy tear because I’ve ever so grateful. I’ve dne the hard times and passed them with flying colours. I have nothing to regret…because I did everything right and worked hard and stayed true to my little ones…I made all the sacrifices. Yet the great thing about making all the sacrifices is the simple fact that God BLESSES you threefold when you perform acts of kindness or sacrifice…SHE DOES! *Wiggle-Wink* Now…the hard part is over…well it will be after my surgery…and then I am free sailing. Can I get a *Cha Ching!* Like I always said, with my first husband Michael…I’m always supportive and think that what he’s achieved is great. Sometimes it’s of whole heart…and other times it’s just something I say to mask extreme jealousy! 🙂 At least i’m honest. On that…he gets the last laugh. Lol. But now that I look back, that boy worked SO HARD. he never went out, he ALWAYS worked hard on his craft. He was good to everyone and NEVER EVER wasted his time. I learnt a lot from him, as how I am now, is how he was then. hence why he got success much earlier. He already knew the core and was well ahead of the game. Now, i’m concentrating on my game. 🙂

On the dating front…getting hit on LOADS NOW. If i spruce up a little bit, or wear something appealing or…just get out and about…as in errand running…I get HIT ON…madly and even though might not be interested, boy is it flattering. My chick friend says that with every 5 no-hopers, there’s always one good one. I’ve had normal guys, decent guys, hot guys, ugly guys, hit on me. Yesterday a bizarre one in a blue mac and hood decided to follow me on my way back from my errands. He like my boots, my face, my everything and really wanted to take me out on a date. I don’t think he had teeth. Not one to be judgmental or anything. But teeth help. 🙂 Lord have mercy. Teeth help. It’s also helps if you look as though you don’t take drugs through the day..or really take drugs at all. I’m better than that! But yes, my red boots saved the day. I guess? I even had a DOCTOR…a DOCTOR asked me out on isle 6. My 5 minute supermarket errand turned into a whole 45 minutes, simply because my red boots wanted to entertain random gents to entertain for a few minutes here or a few moments there. I met a Chef, a Doctor…butcher, baker, candlestick maker. 🙂 Not quite, but chef and Doctor yes. Id always have food and i’d always be well. I’ve actually dated a chef before. It is handy. But not when they blackmail you. 🙂 Chef’s should stick to making prawn dinners and leave blackmailing to ‘The Sopranos,’ who do it with so much more decorum. (Not at all celebrating what they do.) Yesterday’s chef wasn’t dodgy. Apparently he wants to make me fajita’s one night. Cute. I just used the ‘i’ve got surgery’ exit line and with a Miss. World smile…I waved bye.

I’m just not ready for proper dating yet as I have too much on and I don’t like bringing new people into Wunna land really, it’s not beneficial for the the children….yet. I always put there best interests at heart. I DO LOVE DATES THOUGH. I adore romance. I LOVE being treated like a Princess. I love dinners. They make me feel special and I really enjoy them. More than a club nights. It’s just not me these days. Plus, the glitzy ‘Wunna boat’ has set off sailing with her sequin sails. (My LA friends call it the ‘Wunna Fame Bus.’) Once it’s sailed and successed and i’m laid at a stop off sunbathing in a zebra bikini, enfolded with brand new cash….so to speak…I can’t imagine just dating ANYBODY…I mean they would have to be of caliber. 🙂 They can’t just wait until I’m successful then jump on board. I’m not that stupid. (Even though people like to think that I may be at times. 🙂 Well I AM stupid AT TIMES. 😉

People like Boyband Jonny ‘back in the day’ would do something like that. I can’t believe how much he used me and I can’t believe how much I let him, even after knowing everything in life that I already knew. He himself had issues and well he tried to make me feel like  I wasn’t of worth, simply because he felt down and insecure. Hence why he dated me… and hence why he had to make himself feel mighty. (I think he believe that by dating me he would feel popular….I had just come off a TV show..literally….Yet what he found was that I wasn’t as weak as he hoped and dating me, being around the life that I was living during that time, made him feel even more insecure.)  He had not much going for him in the love department…if it came to loving, building, looking after, or caring for a girl…let alone family. He just had a good singing voice. Yet I was moving forward and it made him feel uneasy and all that he had was the fact that he knew I loved him. SO he used that to bully me. It worked for ages…but then I got strong and VERY BORED of his game of ‘on and off’ again. I’ll play for little while, until I get bored of the ‘i love you and now I don’t’ game…then success takes over and I just leave it behind. When it comes to love, I’m very open. If I want to love, I will. If I want to kiss you…i will.  I never play the game of it all and because I don’t believe in it. More boys do than girls. I’m just really open when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s funny that i’m doing well now, after Jonny treated me like rubbish. I’ve never forgotten it and well now i’m laughing. ( If I see him, I have a chat…but i certainly don’t count him as even an acquaintance. It’s hilarious, as he now would like to make amends.) But whatever, he jumped off the Wunna boat…yeah he said ‘sorry’ but it was far too fashionably late. He can swim now. 🙂 Oh and look, i’ve run out of armbands. 🙂

Life is great! I’m nervous about my surgery on Tuesday. I don’t enjoy that i’m not going to be able to chitter chatter for a while. I haven’t heard from Chase in a couple days, so hopefully the business plan hasn’t killed him off and he’s working hard on it. I know that he has a lot going on with work right now, so it must be horrific. (Doing sums…big ones…was never my forte.)  I’m only concerned because he usually contacts me daily and numerous times. I get used to that behaviour and then I panic, when it’s gone. Lol. I enjoy routine now that i’m an oldie. But i hope I hear from him soon, as he said it would take a week to write the plan….and i’m in surgery in days. Not being able to talk is going to kill me. It makes me want a wine for breakfast. Eww! Who am I kidding…I meant a champagne. 😉

I’ve just had another Doctor’s phone call. It seems to be part of my normality right now. Luckily, I didn’t have to go in again, and the GP could just banter at me down the blower. My blood is all ‘jolly’ and when I say ‘jolly’ and I just partying with a mind of its own, or so it seems. Red blood cells, white blood cells, they’ve all having a knees up and well it’s been throwing my body off hormonally for years. The GP (who was Scottish) basically said, because I have had a certain number of pregnancies SO CLOSE TOGETHER, my body has never fully managed to mend hormonally and regain it’s correct balance, which would be a state where I could function like myself  again. Ive been myself…it’s just been wibbly. It’s normal in pregnancy, but for me because i’ve had my babies close together and well there was a situation earlier this year….and my thryoid….my hormones have been jumbled and darted through the roof. It’s been triple FIRE! It was again a sigh of relief to hear that because i’m just getting back to normal to the point where I can even feel it. And i’ve been through a lot of drama with it.

So to all women going through the same DON’T WORRY, YOU GET BETTER…you’re not crazy, or pathetic, no matter how many times someone calls you it. 🙂  And to all men who are experiencing such with their lady, THE CORRECT THING TO DO IS TO STAND BY HER AND SUPPORT HER) as it’s when she needs the help most, especially once the baby is born, you’re meant to make it as stress free as possible for her..and well that’s actually you’re job as a man. The dramatics are for the women.

Today, I feel great because after checking my blood cells and levels…and blurting a diet out at me…she put me on iron deficieny pills for three months, which will zoom my hormone levels back to ‘balanced’ in no time. Plus, I already feel much better, meaning it will be great! I’ll be a whole new woman and I can’t wait. I mean, it must have been crazier than I thought, because aside from my bloods, my thyroid has been hormonally effecting me also. All due to pregnancies and to them being far to close together for my little body to handle. The Doctor weirdly said, in her very Scottish accent, ‘You’ve actually been very poorly, but you yourself haven’t noticed because you’ve lived at that level for a while.’ It was relieving, because I did actually know, I just didn’t have anyone to tell, without getting blasted at. I know ‘being me’ well! I’ve been ME for 30 something years. So i noticed a change…and one that couldn’t be helped during pregnancy. I didn’t feel like I had support and it made me do crazy things, even after Ruby was born. But now…I’m getting back to MOI! Yipppeeee! IT NEVER FELT BETTER and i’m using the great feeling wisely. BEAUTY LINE MUCH! 🙂 🙂 🙂

It’s in these moment when you get better, that you look and see who was there for you, is there for you, who looked after you  and made you well again. . (Reminds me of the girl I me at the supermarket who had told me that her boyfriend had left her after her 3 month old baby was born because she was hormonal. She had post natal depression, but instead of helping her, he selfishly thought of himself and did one. Left her with the baby even. TWO babies, because she had a toddler also.)

The good thing about a hormone jumble is that if you go to the Doctors, they point it out and make you well again. Once you’re well again, you know who you are and you SEE clearly…meaning you know who was there and who wasn’t. Who believed in you and supported you…and who didn’t.

Have a great FRIDAY! YEAH BITCHES!

Wunna’s getting BRAND NEW! And look, everything’s falling back into place. Stay positive!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giveaway Gift Number 9!

 

CALLING ALL MUMS!!

Now, i’m keeping the GIVEAWAY as close to my lifestyle as possible and I’m introducing to you MY favourite finds from my FAVOURITE brands and simply out of pure adoration and well of course CHRISTMAS!! Yay!

The Clothes Show, as I said earlier has opened my eyes to brand new brands that I now could never do without, so this next gift is very special and because it is one for the MUMS and perfect for anyone who has a newborn to a one year old, or knows someone who does…as it will make the most PERFECT CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER!

I’m never one to leave Mums out because I feel we have some kind of mighty ‘superpower.’ You become a WOMAN, when you become a MUM and I always say that those without children are still ‘little girls.’ Doesn’t matter if they are 24 or 64. Without kiddies…they haven’t yet discovered ‘womanhood.’ (And i always hate it when chicks who aren’t mums comment of chicks who in a negative light because it is the hardest job we has women will ever have to conquer!!

Anyway enough of that!!

As you all know, I have two gorgeous little gibblets! A 2 year old girl named ‘Ruby’ ‘and a 6 month old baby boy named ‘Junior.’

…and us Mums well we just want the best and at all cost for are children, don’t we? We hope they flourish into the brightest young sparks and develop into the most delightful beings filled with love, intelligence and happiness. It’s never easy and always terrifying. Yet I recently came across one of the most AMAZINGLY INSPIRATIONAL BRANDS FOR BABY DEVELOPMENT. I’ve just had Baby Junior myself and well i’m lucky enough to be in a position to be able to help their development in the most wonderfully stimulating environment. Ruby is already too much of a bright spark and Junior is well his way.

I came across this next brand after searching both the internet and successful friends with children’s, Twitter accounts and I thank the heavens above that this brand found it’s way into both my heart and the heart of my little boy..

 

 

MEET GIFT 9…

 

WELCOME TO MY NEWEST FIND THE  ‘BABYCADEMY’ BRAND!

If you’re a Mum with a newborn to on year old this brand is FABULOUS. It is tried and tested by my darling little boy himself…and in my mind is one of the most innovative and inspirational tools for babies on the market. I adore all things creative for my children which has a sense of love, but structure to it (without them realizing) and Babycademy is JUST THAT!

BABYCADEMY means a lot to me because it means a lot to my son and well i  is the most TREMENDOUS range on the MARKET and to back that up the gift that has been chosen for YOU from the brand (which is the gift Bay Junior cannot live without) is currently featured in PRIMA BABY & PREGNANCY MAGAZINE, DEC 2013, as ‘Best activity box for babies and parents.’ 

You are looking at the Music Time pack!

 

 

This pack will have both Mummy/Daddy and Baby up and dancing. (Which isn’t hard with my children….:) However, it’s educational without them even knowing. Hurrah! A*’s for everyone!!!  )

Let me tell you a little more about it..

The Music Time pack is an  exciting new product to revolutionise playtime. Babycademy is a unique resource that provides parents with a toolkit to initiate stimulating and educational play and encourages them to trust their instincts. This truly innovative concept is based on the theory that mum and dad are a baby’s best playmate. 
Music Time is the first kit to be unveiled. It’s packed with original activities, exclusive songs and enchanting stories, as well as the brands loveable mascot Wilson the Whistling Tree Frog, a fabulous hand puppet and the ideal playtime buddy to make learning even more fun! Delivered in ten easy-to-follow lesson plans, parents and little ones from birth to 12 months+ are guided through the various stages and encouraged to develop at their own pace.
Babycademy not only aims to gives parents the confidence to provide stimulating and educational activities, but it also encourages families to take time out from the pressures of everyday life to engage with their baby. 
If you have children you understand how important that extra bit of parent baby playtime is to them! My children don’t always get as much as they wish, due to busy schedules and working parents. Yet they deserve it! I’m lucky to have a lot of help. HOWEVER… with this magical bit of ‘ooh laa’ which makes the perfect present this Christmas to any mum, the time you spend with your kiddiwinkle is even more rewarding!
JUNIOR AND I LOVE…IN FACT EVEN RUBY LOVE THE MUSIC TIME PACKAGE!

I do want to give you all the website as I know how handy it is when mums find new treasures! Lol. And this treasure is certainly of quality! I’ve tried a great deal of brands out when it come sto both ‘work and play’ for bambinos and let me tell you it isn’t as easy as you think to find the perfect balance.
So yes…
Babycademy is available from www.babycademy.co.uk  and it retails for a whopping £50!!
You get it today FOR FREE, as a loving gift from both Moi and the Babycademy itself! (How lovely!)
Don’t forget that it is featured in December 2013 Prima Baby & Pregnancy magazine ‘Best activity box for parents & babies’ …it doesn’t get more amazing than that! 
And i myself personally can tell you how much joy it has brought Wunna land and my baby boy. x
SO CALLING ALL MUMS WITH BABIES, OR ONE YEARS OLDS, OR THOSE WHO CAN’T FIND THE PERFECT GIFT FOR A MUM OF THE SAME SORT!
TO WIN THIS BEAUTIFULLY CONSTRUCTED WORK OF BABY ART ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ANSWER THIS WUNNA FACT…
QUESTION:
HOW OLD IS BABY JUNIOR?
(The answer is of course in this blog post)
Get your answer to me ASAP via any online channel NOW and please DO check out www.babycademy.co.uk RIGHT NOW!

LOTS OF LOVE,