Just a Quickie, Weddings & Love Island

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Morning all! Right! I’m up early and getting ready. I’m off to my friend Vicki’s wedding today and I’m really excited to see a lady who deserves the world, finally be blessed with unconditional love, sprinkled with ‘I do’s.’ The ceremony’s at Selby Abbey.

Hopefully, i won’t walk in the joint and immediately burst into flames, or get swallowed up my the ground and shot straight to hell. But if I do…at least my dress made my boobs look good. (I have to wear an inappropriately ‘boobied’ dress because the one I wanted to wear I accidentally destroyed with hair dye. Yet, on the plus, it’s not THAT inappropriate. yeah it’s ‘boobied,’ but it’s not like i’m rocking up in a wedding dress myself. See! There are worse sins.) 

I’m meeting everyone at 10am sharp, at Rogerthorpe Manor. So I really need to be getting *glam squadded,* instead of writing this blog. The reception etc, is actually at Rogerthorpe this afternoon.

But GOD!

How good, was Love Island last night. I’m hooked. I told ya. But JEEPERS. I don’t think i’ve ever got bollocked by celebs and viewers MORE, for having an ‘Adam Collard’ crush. Strangers, Celeby DJ’s, Reality Stars and Athletes for Great Britain lol, were all tweeting me scorning me for being so foolish…. Lol

GB Alex: ‘Cos he’s a prick.’

Benny: ‘Adam is the guy that texts girls at 3am, saying *YOU UP BABE.*

Hahahah. (Remind me not to talk to those boys.) 

But, me being the delightfully stubborn bit of kitten, that is swirled in Summer crushing…doesn’t care. To me…He’s amazing.He’s slick. He’s smart. He’s hot. Plus, I love ‘snakes’ 😉 (that’s what everyone’s calling him) and he loves cougars…(that’s me,) so it’s basically a match made in Heaven. I don’t at all get, why everyone hates him, right now?? He’s absolutely THE BEST Islander.

YOU HEARD IT HERE. Lol. I’ll date ya boy!

Even ITV2 followed me at one point, because I crushed so badly. Hahah. I’m so sad, it’s delicious. He’s literally the only one doing anything worth watching. So balls to ya all.

TEAM ADAM ALL THE WAY.

The good thing is that more dudes will be strutting in and giving him a run for his money. It’s literally the Adam show and he’s done really well to OWN IT.

Y’know, the reason why I adore Love Island, is that is actually brings people together, the NATION together as one big juicy whole….and anything that does that, is wonderful, wonderful thing. It makes people communicate, feel…and because LOVE is the number ONE thing that matters to everyone in the enter world.

Right, this can only be short, because I really do need to sort myself our and get myself ready and Junior’s running around in nothing but pants hurtling tea sets through walls and shit.

I’m really looking forward to relaxing and letting my hair down a bit today. I hope she doesn’t mind that my dress is all ‘tits out.’

Love you,

Godda run,

Chrissie x

Blog Notes, Boobies & Inappropriate Banter

 

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Had the most amazing day yesterday, but oh my gosh, my blog notes are atrocious. Hahah. However, I guess that’s always a sign of ‘good times.’ Like literally, the blog notes alone, could be a book in itself. Haha. If you don’t know what I’m on about, throughout a day, event or moment, I’ll always type in really brief *trigger words,* on my phone, in the ‘notes’ section. Just to help me ‘tap back‘ to a memory…a moment….a time. The next day, I read my ‘trigger words‘ and like a memory time machine, i’m *zapped* straight back to yesterday….

It’s as simple as that!

My blog notes from yesterday are SO inappropriate that I am DYING with laughter, just scanning them.

So, let’s go…

If you don’t know, Sunday afternoon is my FAVOURITE time to enjoy a tipple. There’s something ‘easy going’ about a Sunday, isn’t there. I usually kick back with my friends and let time pass by with calm, but chipper merriment.

I started off at The Carelton with KatyP. We ended up at The Rustics and as the sun shone down, we found ‘Hairdresser Claire’ and her lovely Hubbster Matt, and we just enjoyed sunny drinks, before being later joined by one of Kate’s work colleagues…who’s name is also ‘Claire.’ (She must like Claires…and also must learn some table etiquette, as i’m sure she stated that one of the Claire’s looked like her dog ‘Frank,’ after proceeding to tell the other Claire that she certainly resembled ‘Old Mother Hubbard.’)

Laughter, happiness, and inappropriate banter filled our table…Yet before we even got to The Rustics, there was a table of half topless Welsh men, topping up their tans, supping sunny drinks and asking Kate is my boobies were real.

KatyP: ‘Just ask her? She’ll be fine about it. She’s a glamour model..and…’

Me: ‘They’re not real. Lol.’

Welsh Dudes: ‘Well, I didn’t know if I could ask ya. But i’m a boob man.’

Me: ‘Stop staring at my boobs, you’re making them blush. I should draw smiley faces on them, as they’re certainly have their own audience today.’

Now, if you’re ME and you see shirtless Welsh dudes at a table…who are now bantering with you..You kinda just politely banter back, have a laugh, yet don’t really commit to a conversation. If you’re Kate…this happens…

KatyP: ‘You’ll all get sunburnt. I’ve got suncream if you want, from Tescos. I mean, I’m not rubbing it in for you, but you can have some. Haha.’

She sat there with a summer wine, in a bra less playsuit…

KatyP: ‘Have you seen my nipples… By boobs are good to say I’m not in a bra…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but you’re gonna have to do FULL ON, naked wee’s, every time to go to the toilet! Bagsy, not going to the toilet with YOU today!’

But anyway, she was enjoying life, with this random bottle of sun cream  on the table, that she decided to OFFER AROUND to people, like it was candy…whether they wanted sun cream or not.

Me: ‘Don’t touch me with that sun cream…I want baby oil, not sun block.’

KatyP: ‘But it smells like holiday!’

Basically, she was like a REALLY RESPONSIBLE…Erm…what’s the word? Oh yeah…

FUCKING ALCOHOLIC. 😉

It was just such a fun day. I mean, when we got to The Rustics and found ‘Hairdresser Claire (@clairedurowhairdressing) and Matt, life just sizzled. I love them, so much, because they’re just sassy and  hilarious. I mean, we have no censor, when it comes to foolish behaviour, just for kicks.

Matt: ‘Chrissie, look at my shirt? Just LOOK. THERE! What can you see?’

Me: ‘Cum stain? Claire obviously didn’t swallow…Lol’

Matt: ‘No. Lol. That’s bathroom sealant.

KatyP: ‘PVC?’

Matt: ‘Mr Grey will see you now…Haha. No honestly, Chrissie, just look at my shirt…Yeah…THERE…Tell me what you see?’

Claire: ‘He’s gonna say, *nothing but zero fucks * I’ve heard it a million times…’

Then when Kate left the table, Matt tried to break into her phone to send her new boyfriend ‘Golfer Jonny’ really needy text messages, to embarrass her.

Matt: ‘Fuck! What’s her phone passcode? What’s her date of birth? SHIT!’

Kate sort of waltzed back up to the table, after helping children find dock leaves and committing to fully naked wee’s..

KatyP: ‘Put my phone down. In fact, I don’t care. I’d be really shocked if you could actually work a phone…’

Claire: ‘I’ll help him. Lol Let’s call him rude and inconsiderate…Haha’

It was just one of those really amazing afternoons, where you had to be there, to *zap* into our moment, our fun…our Sunday. We pretty much made fun of each other…any one who walked by us , mainly made fun of Kate and then ‘Frank the Dog’ began licking Matt’s foot.

Claire (Franks owner) : ‘Sorry about that. I wonder what he can taste on your foot?’

Matt: ‘Psoriasis’

There were wishing wells, nettle stinks, kisses, tears, laughter, slow sipping, fast drinking, knuckle pumps, a suggestion of ‘communal poos,’ as we all held hands in a ‘sat down’ circle, rounds bought, praying hands, questions about sex skills, swallowing skills, whether I could prove that I wasn’t a ladyboy, boobies and ‘Asian Consent’…

Matt: ‘No I said AGE OF CONSENT!!’

KatyP: ‘Well if you said ASIAN, Chrissie’s won, cos she’s the only one in here… Lol.’

Me: ‘And I consent..’

I’ve also put ‘Vagisil‘ and ‘you’ve got to break a few eggs to make an omelette’ in my blog notes…but I have no clue why?

WELL DONE BLOGGER OF THE YEAR!

I guess, that must’ve have been from later in the day, when we were back at The Carleton? At that point dudes were just obsessing over my boobies, to the point where they were asking to sit at our table, sitting at our table, then glaring at my poor, defenseless boobies…like I no longer had a face.

HAHAHA.

There were even points where no words were even exchanged or spoken. Lol. They literally just sat there and and admired…quietly, like my boobs, (that were wrapped in my Justin Bieber top) were a hypnotic, mesmerizing force.

Dude: ‘I’m just so distracted by them..’

Can’t remember what else happened now? But I loved Sunday funday! It was brilliant! I’m just super blessed…and a bit of a twat, but gets away with being a swine, because I’m glammy. 🙂

Even the morning of yesterday was hilarious, because I was having a really early Snapchat convo with, what name should I go with… ‘Tats?’

Tats: ‘How come you’re up so early..’

Me: ‘I dunno..my eyes just opened..’

We actually early morning chatted for an hour or so, until I got ditched for sleep…Lol. But, OH MY GOD, I accidentally posted a really PRIVATE message…on my SNAPCHAT STORY, because I hit the wrong button. Hahahah.

Tats: ‘Get that OFF YA STORY!!! Lol’

Me: ‘OMFG!! AS IF I JUST DID THAT! SHIT! HAHAHA. Thank God you noticed. OH MY GOD!’

I nearly DIED. Hahaha But whatever, can you EVEN imagine!!

But I guess, that’s the beauty of being Lil’ Miss Wunna.

Thank you for following my life,

Chrissie x

Ps/ I’m in Blackpool tomorrow to celebrate my really good friend ‘Lisa Appleton’s birthday. See you there!

 

 

 

 

Boodee, House of Lily & 3 Pumps For You Sir!

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Me: ‘We’ve all got knickers, as in pants on right?’

Cece: ‘Yeah. I’ve definitely got pants on. We’ve all got pants on…She hasn’t though…(Points at girl.) I mean, we’re old. They’re young and don’t where pants. But there was a young girl, who I was fitting, who clearly said she had spanx on.’

Rocker Lily: ‘I’ve got pants on.’

ALL GOOD! SAFETY FIRST!

Now, before I get into all that, as you ALL know that I was at the Boodee Boutique,Influencers Brunch’ on Sunday, at ‘Cuckoo’ in Leeds. My ‘socials’ and inboxes are going CRAZY CRACKERS over it.

I’ve never ever been to ‘Cuckoo’ in my life and I’m known for socialiting cocktail bars like a champion. It’s absolutely new, a tremendous find and it drips with a chilled out, bouji swirl of swag. It’s… COOL. It’s alive. It’s stylish, glamourous, yet not remotely pretentious and you get a free flipping pizza with your drink!

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Bartender: ‘Are you wanting the free pizza..?’

Me: ‘Noo, course not. I’m fine. Lol.

Bartender: ‘I didn’t think so, somehow. 😉 ‘

There’s just a vibe in that place… and ‘old school/new school’ vibe and if you were a child of the 80’s/90’s you will find the music deliciously swag. I ‘Pon De Replayed’ it…. like I WAS….. RIHANNA. (Don’t hate. You could’ve *swiggled it* too. In fact, Hit *play* to feel like you were there with me. See! Aren’t I nice to you! 😉 )

But let me take you back…The train into Leeds, was the busiest ‘Bank Holiday’ train of madness ever. It was filled with young gaggles of party boys, older couples, girls and a group of posh Geordies. (I’ve decided that Geordies are everywhere.)

I had begun the day feeling like a bit of a plonker, as it was early Sunday morning and I was strutting around life, petrol stations, Xscape, wine bars and Platform 2’s in a GIANT fluffy PINK faux fur, diamante heels, necklace and head to toe in PINK & WHITE.

I knew, I either looked marvellous or ridiculous because everyone was staring at me…constantly….and so much to the point that I’d started to feel moderately insecure. Lol. That’s why I had a wine, in the nearest bar, which was The Winter Seam, before my train. The problem with me is that I’ll feel ‘all the eyes.’ which it will make me very aware of my existence…It’ll then make me feel a bit ‘wibbly.’ but you would NEVER EVER know because I will strut into a place, IN MY GIANT PINK FAUX FUR, like i’m P.Diddy. (In fact, if Paris Hilton, Ru Paul, P.Diddy had a threesome, and did it whilst eating a bag of prawn crackers…THAT’S what I looked like. 🙂 )

Luckily, I looked less like a dickhead 3 minutes afterwards, because guys in budget  ‘Stag Do’ Hawaiian shirts began drizzling in…and then even they were *trumped* by the casual floral dress  ‘rocker’ lady with the bright blue hair. Then another Geordie appeared out of nowhere, said I was ‘stunning‘ and asked me where I was headed? (Told you, they’re everywhere. They’ve infiltrated Yorkshire. They’ve infiltrated Leeds.)

Me: ‘I’m off to a brunch in Leeds. I’m not just dressed like this for a fry up. Honest…’

He then asked me for my number, after he smirked at my obviously wonderful banter. 😉 So, I did that ‘Chrissie Wunna’ charm face, where I just smile, shrug, slide off my bar stool and laugh it off, like it hasn’t been said, as I giggle out the door.

Next minute I was in Leeds city centre. It was filled with bustle and I didn’t feel as strange anymore as EVERYONE  was dolled up to the heavens and back.

I diamante strutted down the side of the train station, to Call Lane, through busy city streets, car parks, alley ways, puddles, gave a homeless person a light and past a ton of young 20 somethings who were galloping around with excitement….I kinda felt like The Queen of all Leeds, at that point.  Then I walked past ‘Mission’ which reminded me that Zanetti was doing better than Me.

37, Call Lane. I was at ‘Cuckoo.’ The street seemed so quiet, so I carefully tinkered through the door and..

OH MY GOD….

*Camera Flashes, Music, Balloons, Cocktails, Skimpy Dresses, Highest Heels, Giggles, Laughter, Lip Gloss, Selfie Stations, Madness…*

It looked like the most marvellous place on Earth. Literally a Glamour Pusses DREAM. Firstly, it was filled to the brim with the most ‘dolled up‘ beautiful young girls, you will have ever seen in your life…and secondly, as I told you early, the most glamourously ‘cool’ buzz *fast swirled* through that entire place, like wildfire. (And I was only downstairs at first.)

A huge floral wall by ‘Orla Flora’ greeted you….(they’re really IN right now, aren’t they and taking the place of the ‘Media Board’ for a while.) If you have no clue, what I’m on about…. it’s  basically a huge wall made up of flowers, that you picture by, at events…Any event…Weddings, Parties…Whatever….and I LOVE THEM. (I didn’t have my picture taken by the floral wall, whist I was there, because I was too busy drinking and being on the phone to my friend, but I did notice how strikingly beautiful it was.) 

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GIANT PINK bespoke printed balloons (by Instagram @balloonroomx) filled the room, as young influencers and hopeful future influencers selfied, pictured and pouted by them for content..

The balloons were actually really cute, because they were giant and pink, with the words,

‘YOU DO YOU BOO’

..printed upon them.

It was just ace…

So, let me just fill you in. I appeared at the BOODEE BOUTIQUE, ‘Influencers Brunch,’ which is a glamourous afternoon networking event, for all those who are wanting to be ‘Insta Famous,’ an Influencer, a Blogger, Vlogger, those who want to start building their own business or empire, or those who already have….Well, it was a brunch for chicas of that sort…as they could all meet each other, network and at the same time go around the stalls set up by companies & brands (who are currently looking for influencers to promote their lines) and go make themselves known. Pretty much all the brands where looking for ‘the new face of…’ so they were scouting and casting through the crowds of girls. It was dripped in cocktail magic and the dress code was ‘pink & white.’ (And everything about this business, or any business is about MEETING PEOPLE. It is networking.)

Got it?

Cece: ‘Hi, have you been upstairs yet? I saw you walk in. You stuck out like a sore thumb. Here’s a card for House Of Lily. I was just seeing if you wanted to come upstairs and try some of our clothes for pictures….We’re casting for the new face…’

I’m like stood in my pink faux fur, guzzling wine and texting…But there was just something about ‘Cece’ that I loved. It was the fun in her eyes…So I took the card and she disappeared into the crowds.

Then little Baby Doll ‘Charlie C’ (instagram @charliecaitlyn) caught eyes with me and dashed up, with hugs and smiles…(She is as cute as a button and kinda hot as hell.) She pretty much thanked me for coming and within seconds has *whizzed* me upstairs to go and meet everyone….

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Charlie C: ‘I need you to meet Lisa…’

Me: ‘OH! HI! IT’S GREAT TO MEET YOU..’

Charlie C: ‘No…That’s not Lisa…That’s…’

Me: ‘Oh sorry. Hahaha. Nice to meet you anyway…

(We were literally hand in hand, rushing through the crowds of girls….)

Charlie C: ‘Chrissie. Wait here. I need to grab you a candle. It’s a bloggers candle…and you have a gift bag…Here! Take that!….Oh! That’s Lisa…’

Me: ‘Have I just met her downstairs?’

‘Charlie C’ was one of the girls running the event. She’s young, beautiful, Leeds and bubbly and was dashing about like some kind of stunning ‘headless’ chica of ‘ooh laa.’ She did REALLY WELL, as that event was DIVINE. To the point where I even stopped her at the end…to see if she’d throw me an event..

That girl is so young, but so good at what she does..She is the future Queen of Party Leeds.

Anyway, I felt like a glamourous Veteran at the Boodee event, as everyone around me was so young, I’d say from 18 upwards…There were SO MANY GIRLS, all done up and brimming with hopefulness and it was made me realise how many young people in this actual day and age want to be ‘Influencers.’ It’s the new dream job. I can’t believe how competitive it was, well IS and the girls were every INCH stunning.

They were immaculate.

I agree, that they’re all under really great pressure and I can see the pressure on their faces and I agree that it’s such a hard time for them to grow up in, with everything seeming so ‘social media’ perfect. Their stars and inspirations are the popular bloggers, vloggers and Instagrammers of today. And I feel like, they feel as though, they have a lot to try and accomplish, to get to where they want to be. I’m sure it makes them feel insecure, yet it’s the CONFIDENT ONES that smash through the barriers.

(And I can pick those girls right out of a crowd.)

Yet, the thing that made me smile was the fact that RIGHT NOW, INT HIS TIME, being a BLOGGER/Influencer is such a THING.’ When I started my blog 10 years ago in Hollywood...NOT A SINGLE SOUL was blogging, or giving any shits about blogging…People were making FUN OF for writing an online diary….

NOW! It’s one of the MOST LUCRATIVE CAREERS you can have! (IN YOUR FACE!) So firstly, I’m lucky because I accidentally built by blog up over 10 years, so didn’t really have to start from scratch..I did it all the way through my modeling & tv career…Secondly, I’m old….and so to be smashing it about ‘socially’ at 37 is huge, because you just wouldn’t have thought it could happen. But it has.

Anyway, whenever I go to an event, I do the room scan, I chat to everyone I want, I try to meet everyone and then whilst drinking all the cocktails, in all the land, I’ll then just do what I want. 🙂

Me: ‘I kinda just wanna get pissed now..’

I found Lisa, the owner of ‘House Of Lily.’ She was casting for the new faces of her brand. They had a shoot set organised for the girls, who were choosing something to try on, being fitted into it and then being photographed.

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I loved watching the girls, because it reminded me of being young at model casting days. It was far less glam though and I never heard this:

House of Lily: ‘Make sure the girls are tucking their tops in properly…I don’t want any boobs out…’

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I looked through all of ‘House Of Lily’s’ pieces and they were absolutely beautiful. She’s so talented. I mean, tweed fitted jackets, stunning long sequin dresses, patterned jump suits, see through lace Pussy bow blouses….Each piece was so special and so unique…I was in love!  There is so much that is just SO ME from that brand. I’m gonna meet up with Lisa again and take a look through everything properly with her personally, because her line is remarkable and at an event, it’s really difficult after prosecco.

From that point….my afternoon changed. I don’t know what happened, but I kinda brought the *jiggy* (like I do, I mean lets face it, i’m a chip off the ‘Hilton’ brand, I’ve been raised to ‘party’ and do it fucking well.

Me: ‘I need to drink my body weight in wine..’

Rocker Lils: ‘Shall we get sambuca shots.’

Cece: Chrissie, get in an outfit and picture with it please.’

Me: ‘I honestly can’t be bothered to take ALL OF MY CLOTHES OFF at 37, to put them all back on again right now.’

Then fresh wine was poured and our beautiful cup caked, lily vased, booth…turned into a party. 🙂

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So, I basically ‘lowered the tone…’ glamourously of course! Lol.

Me: ‘We’ve all got knickers or pants on right?’

Cece: ‘Yeah. I’ve definitely got pants on.

I ‘d already decided to ‘get comfy,’ at this point, because I loved the girls. I started drinking, and dancing in the booth, and multi tasked it with selfie and videoing taking for my insta/facebook.snapchat stories. ‘PR Lauren’ sat pissing herself at me, in awe. (I went with ‘awe,’ but she was again either staring at me like I was amazing or nuts? You decide.) We might have had a ‘pose off’ also for selfies.

Cece: ‘Look at you. Please tell me it’s real! You have some life. I want it. I want you meet my daughter.’

(She has the most eye catching mixed raced daughter, who floors it in the beauty stakes. I saw a picture of her on her phone and I was blown away.)

Cece: So, you’ve done Playboy….Have you been to mansion and met Hefner?’

Me: ‘Yeah course. Gosh. I wasn’t a *girlfriend,* I modelled for the brand, which is really different…As the *girlfriends* had to pump him. Lol. I think it was something like *3 pumps* and then the next one?

Cece: ‘Hahaha. There’s me thinking he was some kind of Don, when he could only manage 3 pumps and you’re off.’

Me: ‘Well he’s old int’ he and he has to have them ALL pump him, one at a time and watch…I’m sure they were fine with it, it’s only 3 pumps and a weekly allowance. Hahahaha! It was like a grand a week or something.’

Cece: ‘Y’see, I don’t hate on them at ALL for that. A girl’ll do what a girl will do. I’d 3 pump him for that.

Me: ‘Lol. Me too. I just didn’t have the opportunity too. ‘

Cece: ‘Would you?’

Rocker Lils: ‘Noooo, I couldn’t.’

PR Lauren: *BLUSHES*…I don’t know if…’

Rocker Lils: ‘Actually, now I think about it, I might… I’d do more than 3 pumps though. I’m gonna with yeah…

Me: ‘You’d end up bloody married to him!’

And that was the tone of the rest of the evening. It was THE BEST…WE WERE IN FITS OF LAUGHTER and we’re all Yorkshire, so we’re properly down to Earth, don’t care, say whatever we want kinda gals and it’s amazing!

House of Lily: ‘We might have found the girl/girls for the brand….There was one girl that I can’t find…Go find her Cece…’

Cece: ‘Go find her! You go find her. I don’t know what she looks like or where she’s chuffing gone. It’s packed in here. Lol.’

I just LOVE northern bits of tinker…because if I was in LA I would’ve heard…

‘Honey, can you go get me that gurl already.’

If I was in London… They would’ve have been ‘darling darling’ posh.

In Yorkshire, they’re like..

‘For chuffs sake…’

…and I love it.

Literally the most amazing afternoon brunch of wild girly madness….swirled in a fantasy red lighting, with unicorn balloons and giant carousel decor surrounding me.

All the girls that day looked amazing and the all did so fantastically. Well, I hope they did. I hoped they networked well.

I WILL SAY HOWEVER, that I did notice that even though the girls were immaculately beautiful, a lot of the girls did look ‘samey.’ (I actually got told off for saying that out loud. Lol)

Me: They all look the same. I’m trying to scan through the crowd for something different or someone who tries to POP OUT.’ They look the same, but they’re all different girls? And they’re wearing the same…

Cece: ‘It’s a bloody themed dress code you idiot.’

I’m a personality girl and yes, the glam thing always works, it’s part of the job. I do it at 37 and i’ve done it all the way through my teens until now. And being in LA at the time, we took it to the next level. Yet, through that crowd of girls, there needed to be a ballsy, sassy, ‘stand out’ girl, who strutted in, didn’t care what anyone thought, looked amazing, was of great character and someone who was just unforgettable. Someone who oozed so much confidence that she OWNED THAT ENTIRE ROOM…Someone who you spoke to and was completely and utterly taken by!

A STAR! (‘Types’ SMASH IT.)

I did actually see one, but I can’t tell you who… (No, it wasn’t me, you twats…Lol.)

Great night. Ended up going to Gino’s for a quick wine, which was filled with Italian waiters and a suited party of gents who were all talking about boring things like football and how much they reckoned Rugby players got paid. (I watched them and ate pink wafers out my goody bag.)

Got the train home. Slept through my stop. Absolutely fucking nightmare. (A little lovely Geordie lady nudged me away with a ‘Petal’ and I shocked up with a ‘OH SHIT!!!’ She just smiled and like a Guardian Angel solved all my life problems…Told you, they’re everywhere.)

I ended up having to walk for ages, in my giant pink faux fur and as soon as I got home, I collapsed in a heap on my bed.

Hope you had a phenomenal Easter! Thank you for following my life. Thank you for following my ‘socials.’

Two days and I fly to Spain.

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Girls Nights, Cocktails & A Random Brave Message..

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Morning!!! So sorry, I couldn’t whizzle out a little bit of ‘diary’ yesterday. I don’t know what happened?  I just decided to  surrender to ‘knackeredness’ after the weekend. I felt tired and hungover and both my babies are currently off school, so I found myself having to slide through tunnels in the sunshine, whilst having a picnic. Even though that sounds delightful to some….the park is NOT a place to be hungover. Bottom line…Ruby & Junior LOVED it and I guess, when it comes to life and parenting…that’s all that matters.

I now, NEVER blog when I’m shattered, as my story always lacks the essential ‘gusto.’ And I also try to refrain from blogging when drunk (these days)…as like tipsy texting…the blog is very rarely written by me and often should be credited to vodka. (Yet, I do adore a Wunna drunk blog. The last one ended in me being sick.) 

Okay, so Saturday evening, I worked, I mummied and with a *wink* and a *shimmie,* I managed to FIT INTO my ‘diet dress‘ deliciously designed by The Kardashians, glam up, damn up and venture over to The Electric Theatre for ‘Fairytales’ 30th birthday. (I don’t do weight loss via scales and tape measures…I do it via goal dresses.)

Right, I haven’t seen all the girls, apart from ‘Firmonnell’ (who is my chick best friend,) in a really long while. My life tinkered me in a completely different direction….a far less bumpy road, filled with magic and selfie taking 😉 . Work & passion took my hand, things got busy, dreams came true and I sort of had to look behind me and *wave* them off, as I focused, on doing me, happiness and everything i’ve always wanted to.

(I told you, this is the chapter of my life, where I am being a shit friend…down to work.)

So, regardless, it was really good to bump into everyone, even though we couldn’t really ‘catch up.’ We dedicated the night to ‘Fairytale,’ who looked divine, tipsy and not even nearly 30! And we were there to make sure she knew that we adored her….via booze.

I was there first, even though the girls has NAGGED ME to make sure I turned up. I sent them a snapchat, after seeing they still had rollers in their hair and a boozy ‘ring of fire’ going on around a dining table. Lol.

‘You dicks. Don’t rush me here, when you’re not even fucking ready, let alone nearly HERE! Hustle’s still got rollers in! You’re shit friends. I’m here first. Lol’

They arrived…Pissed…and began hugging ans lip smooching me.

Firmonnell: ‘I feel really discombobulated from you right now!’

Me: ‘I feel like I have so much to say, but I can’t say it. I think it’s shocked my system being around everyone.’

(It was sort of like going back in time….glamourously, of course. We’re ‘dress up’ gals by nature, so we don’t like to look shit. There was one on the stage, one at the bar, two on the sofa and one squatted outside by a barrel and a play area with her hands over her mouth in shock. Lol But we all still looked fabulous.) 

WE DON’T PLAY.

I got to chitter with Mel, eye talk with ‘Firmonnell,’ have a dance with ‘Hustle Barbie’ and private convo with ‘Double B.’ (Who still fucking cracks me up.)

What I DID notice is how much my life has actually changed. I didn’t really notice until that night. Lol. I also realized that even though I don’t miss that part of 2017 at all, I do value my individual relationships with them. I prefer meeting them individually. I’ve actually met ‘Firmonnell’ a lot. We actually each have really different relationships with each other.

I also noticed that since my merry absence….they’ve all got skinnier and they’ve all got naughtier…

I absolutely LOVE IT.

These girls are  living FOR THEM, right now and nothing makes me *sizzle* more!

LIFE IS ABOUT CELEBRATING YOU, YOUR CHOICES, OWNING YOUR PATH AND GETTING HAPPY.

People waste so much time ‘thumb twiddling’ and being concerned over what others think. These girls are hilarious. The amount of times I heard…

‘I can do what I want’

…almost made my spine tingle. Lol. I’m a ‘do what I want’ kinda kitten. That’s why we adore each other.  I love listening to all their drama. It’s my favourite. And they’d listen to mine, all day, every day! But, right now….my life just seems so easy and peaceful.

Their drama trumps mine ‘errday.’

There was a moment when ‘Hustle’ (who looked beautiful) was perched on the edge of the sofa, that I was sat on, wondering whether the drink, she was drinking, was hers and said…

‘So, how IS everything you? What’s going on?’

And I didn’t know what to say….? And I don’t know why I didn’t know what to say? I just didn’t? Everything’s kinda really great right now and i think I daren’t say it out loud, in case ‘The Gods’ hear and fuck me over.

I’m doing what I love….and it’s accidentally going really well. I think, I’m still safe with that.

I didn’t really do much that night, I just chilled and chatted, because i’d rolled off a hectic week. I ‘caught up’ and stood with wine….But it was great to see everyone, and celebrate ‘Fairytale’ turning 30.

I have some great chick friends. I’m lucky. We make our own choices…Laugh about them. Cry about them…But value each others ways…

Then Sunday morning…

I woke up….

I rolled over in my sheets, grabbed my phone and scrolled through my emails. (I love naked, bed sheeted, kitten rolls, in the morning…as it means, if you have time to do them…. you’re not in a rush…)

Found a random one with ‘Noticed you at Electric Theatre ..Proposal’ as the subject title….

So, I clicked on it…and it read…

‘Chrissie

Tonight I noticed you at the electric theatre on a number of occasions at the birthday party.

I crossed eyes with you at the bar, while I was on a break between sets with the band – hope you had a good night out?

Little did I realize until now, that I was looking at a model/blogger from round the corner.

Your blogs are a really good read at first glance …….it says in your blogs that you believe in love at first sight ……well…….?

As they say in Yorkshire , if ya don’t ask ya don’t get…….so I’d be intrigued to know if you noticed me or just wondered why the hell was a guy staring at you…..but I guess you are used to that when you stand out like a sore thumb!

X’

Now, I’ll be honest…and say that I don’t really recall ‘catching eyes’ at the bar, with anyone? All I remember at the bar, where the girls going on about ‘shots per text.’ But I do remember, looking at one of the guys who played in the band, whilst I was on the dance floor, because I was sure that I knew him from somewhere, but couldn’t figure out where?

However, I do love that you sent me that message, as that took a great deal of Goolies….and it’s romantic, it’s sweet. Now, I don’t know whether you read the blog or not? But if you are reading this today…whizz me another email…and we can absolutely go for a drink…  a ‘friendly’ as I like to call them. That took loads of balls, and probably a few drinks…and even though I can’t remember the moment…I do actually appreciate your message.

Then as all girls do….the ‘morning after’ group ‘Whatsapp’ was going mental.

First Mel thanked ‘Fairytale’ for inviting her…After moderately bollocking me for ‘sloping off’ without saying bye. ( I love sloping off.) We all told ‘Fairytale’ how great she was and hoped she had a lovely time….Then I plonked in the above email….

…and it all went down hill from there?

‘Who was that?’

Me: ‘I don’t know? I fell in love and didn’t even realise?’

Hustle: ‘I can actually remember most of my night for a change.’

(I had stated that night, that it hasn’t started until ‘Hustle’ has skidded across the floor on her arse.) 

‘It was good. I have no beer fear! Lol’

Fairytale: ‘I’m sweating worse than an otters pocket.. and I can’t stop thinking about your bum hole Chrissie.’

Hustle: ‘Chrissie’s bum hole? What did I miss?’

Me: ‘Was I not in the same place as everyone last night? I don’t remember falling in love or my bum hole?’

Fairytale: ‘I’ll say one word…Jonny.’

(Jonny is Fairytale’s boyfriend.) 

Me: ‘Jonny, did me up the bum? This just gets worse…’

Double B: ‘Hahaha, I honestly have no idea what’s going on here?’

Fairytale: ‘Jonny pinched my phone…Lol’

Me: ‘It’s too early for this shit…What is going on???’

Then I got saved, because as soon as I placed my phone down on my bed side table, it *pinged* again….

(Whatsapp…Other friends….)

Kate: ‘SO!!! No date happened last night. Lol. BUT I ended up having a date with a different guy in the end by accident!!

Me: ‘Omg! As If. I need to know everything…’

Kate: ‘Lol…What you up too? Meet you at The Carelton in 10…?

I Can’t Park, Love & Birthdays…

 

I can’t park for toffee! Honestly. I drive around glamourously…

Jiggly Jill: ‘No, you don’t. You sing along to Little Mix and drive DIAGONALLY ACROSS car parks, to get to a spot, where there are lanes and arrows and all kinds of roady shit.’

Anyway…then when it comes to actually having to pull up and park, I just can’t get my head around ‘da moves’ and it all just goes wrong. I tried to do the school run this morning. The car park was so busy, filled with Mums, Dads, Nannies & navy blazers…But could I get in a spot and park up.

COULD I **** (I’ll let you put in a word of your choice there.)

I did some 40 point car shuffle, still didn’t squeeze into the spot, got flustered at myself, Ruby & Junior are laughing in the backseat because I’m getting angry at myself…so I had to reverse, drive off and find a side road…just to get the children into school on time. 🙂 It wasn’t even a tight spot. It was just a normal parking spot.

Me: ‘This is why I hate coming late! I need an empty car park in order for me to be able to PARK.’

Ruby: ‘You’re an idiot.’

(And that’s coming from the Heir to the Wunna Land throne. I mean, who creates a human, squeezes them out of their privates, loves them, nurtures them, feeds them, guides them…and then has to look at the back seat and hear them calling you a fool.  LOL)

One day i’ll just get driven, so I don’t have to park anywhere that has more than NO CARS around me. 🙂

Love is in the air right? I feel it. I feel it swirling through each one of us, as we ‘almost’  tinker on into February. Everyone’s getting engaged. Everyone’s falling for heros. Everyone’s girly giggling over crushes and it’s making my newsfeed feel delicious.

I Like it.

(Even though I don’t have a Valentine Date and will therefore have to order myself roses…which is code for ‘rum’ to make me feel better, OR just pretend it’s not happening…so I don’t feel as bad. Lol If in doubt. BLOCK IT OUT.)

No, but honestly, it’s just lovely seeing you all so happy and being so open about being happy and in love! It’s a wonderful thing expression and it’s just great to finally have a newsfeed filled with people saying,

‘This girl though…’

‘Honestly, have the most beautiful wife…’

‘Soooo in love…’

‘Couldn’t be without her…’

‘I’m the luckiest girl in the world…’

‘She said *YES*’

It’s like i’m peeking through a giant glass window, looking on in at you all, from my sassy Wunna Land throne…as the Butler, who is obviously, half naked and in a Greek Toga pours me another Prosecco into my frosted iced chalice. I imagine him being from an exotic land and has been taught to only respond to Wunna Land commands…

‘More Wine.’

‘I said BOUJI!!’

I’m never worried about my love life….The right guy will always find you and make you his, if he wants you that badly enough. You meet when you’re meant to. It’s timing. Life timing. Plus, it’s a guys natural instinct.  All boys are Heros really. We girls are just able to tend to being heroic, without the use of a prompt. 🙂

So, if you’re single and can’t seem to mingle…Don’t worry. He’ll find you. He’s coming for you. (Hopefully, he’s not creepy. I totally made that sound creepy, instead of lovely. 🙂  Firmonnell sent me a creepy cartoon picture of herself yesterday, in a hole….like a mole….It was our ‘Miss You Monday,‘ day. We have a chick cyber banter every Monday afternoon.)

Firmonnell: ‘Maybe we can have real life Monday Meet Up’s Wunna! Lol’

Me: ‘We’ll do next Monday!’

(Do know, that she’s just being needy, as I did see her almost every single DAY of 2017. Lol When she’s not needy, i’m like ‘HELLLLOOOO, WHY ARE YOU NOT NEEDING ME!’ When she IS needy…I have to point it out, but secretly love it! 🙂 )

I had a quick meet up with *Big A* from ‘House of Solo’ magazine yesterday afternoon. He was running late, so I ended up having drinks with my old school friend Kate, Jodie and a dog, by a fire place. Apparently one got ‘lost down a puddle‘ and the other had ‘no face on.’

When *Big A* got arrived, he was all stressed out. Obviously he runs a Fashion Magazine. He owns it. With owning things…comes STRESS.  I mean, he’s working with some of the biggest artists an models globally right now, so it’s mayhem.

He’s a creative, so he’s good at all the ‘creative shit.’ But when it comes down to the ‘nitty gritty,’ the business, the being organized …He  lets it overwhelm him, buries his head in the sand and maybe hides a bit. Lol. Which we all know is fun!

(I literally had a day in LA, it was a Wednesday, where I woke up, read something shitty, had hundreds of emails bombard me at once, thought my life was going to be horrific and still naked, just laid back down in bed, pulled the duvet over my head, and hid… from Wednesday, until around 3pm. And I only got up then because I had an audition at 4.30pm in Burbank.)

So, I emotionally organised *BIG A* and forced ‘do work’ upon him, mid chatter. He’s a sensitive soul, so if you send him a grumpy email, he gets grumpy. I’m insensitive when it comes to things like that. I don’t absorb it. I read a grumpy email…and reply with charm and kindness. I do it all the time.

Like, ‘Big A’ I’m a creative, but when it comes to Wunna Land, I’m good at all the ‘little bits’ as i’m quite organised and i’m used to hearing people moan at me, i’m used to feeling under pressure and well the art of business, PR or attention.

Luckily for me, I don’t OWN a Fashion Magazine (Yipeeee.) I just run my own land…

HURRAH!

I turned ‘living my normal every day life’ into my job, because it was the only thing I loved, the only thing I knew how to do and did well. Plus, it’s easy…and I like things that are easy. 🙂 Slogging away at things that don’t wanna ‘give,’ causes wrinkles…causes stress.

I’m ZEN. I’m like a stress free zone…Apart from when i’m parking.

Big A: ‘I have five shoots this week in London and one in New York. I have to organise them all and I have. But Sony have changed the shoot from New York, to LA…and now back to New York at the last minute. It’s stressful!’

Me: ‘Lol. You just need to get on top of it all. Do you want a drink?’

Big A: ‘No. I’m dieting. How’s all your stuff going…’

Me: ‘Yeah…You’re gonna hate to hear it…But really well. It’s really easy, right now. Lol’

Anyway, I’ve godda fly. I’ve got a ‘doer upper’ that i’m doing doing up. It’s a massive job and a ball ache. I kinda just want to *blink* and it look like a magical fairyland filled with style and class. The result is glamourous, but the ‘grind behind the glamour’ is hard as **** (Use your own word.)

I messaged ‘Happy Birthday’ to someone who I’ve got to know more closely over the last year. I like him. He’s ‘Good People.’ Good soul. Funny guy. Works hard. Interesting. Attractive. But funny. I like funny.

He’s another year older, but ‘still feels young.’ He seems pretty happy, so that’s all that matters. If I flashback through snippets of time and messages….It’s actually been a blast!

Like I remember being sat at a bar, as we were messaging back and forth and then receiving this Snapchat filter from him, of him singing along to The Voice, with the ‘bunny ears’ filter on. Lol.

I opened it, watched it and then my phone flipping DIED on me…so he didn’t get a response until 20 minutes later when I had got the bartender to charge my phone for me, behind the bar. Lol. So, he would’ve totally thought I shunned his comedic popstar operatics. When really I was pissing myself out loud. Even at the moment and that was ages ago…I adored him.

Good Memory.

An example of being young at heart…

I guess we all still feel young underneath it all, don’t we? We’re all just these kids that had to grow up. Haha.

I think those with young spirits always feel fresh. He’ll be 80 and still feel 20. I’ll be 80, dressed like a slapper at the bar, still thinking i’m hot, flirting with 19 year olds, who obviously think i’m hideous…Yet, I’ll be loving it anyway!

Have the most WONDERFUL Tuesday Everyone!

ps/ Happy Birthday Dude. 😉

 

 

 

Boxing Day, Prosecco Pops & Selfies

Goodness me! So much is going on! But i’m having a blast and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world…armed with a diary and maybe a bit of a wink.

 How you all doing? Good?

Well Christmas is now over. It was the most wonderful time of the year. But now let’s pack up the tree and get on with the last few days of 2017. (These last few days are like ‘no mans land’ where you have no clue what’s going on, what day it is, or how to wear anything other than pyjamas anymore? I don’t wear pyjamas…I just wear diamonds. 😉 )

I need to make sure I blog every day. I keep getting caught up in the art of ‘good times,’ that I forget that I’m actually a writer and the whole point is that I tell you the story…That’s the part that I adore the most!!  But whatever, i’ll get into the swing of it. I always do. It’s just been a crazy bit of time!

*Giggles..Hip Bump.*

So, i’ve been spending a lot of much needed time with Ruby & Junior. We’ve had the most amazing chunk of ‘family bonanza’ ever. I guess everyone has! We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. We’ve ‘all sorts.’ It’s been great! I might have pulled my hair out a few times! It’s a single mum’s way. J However, I always look for the love in their eyes. And there’s been a million moments, over the last two weeks where they’ve been so filled with utter glee, that the world has been their absolute oyster. Ruby’s now decided she’s a vegetarian and Junior likes my boobs.

Junior: Can I give you a massage?’

Me: ‘Yeah. That’s so sweet.’

Junior: ‘Good. I’ll start with your boobies.’

Me: ‘No…Junior…Lol.’

I’ve had my LAST 2017 blow out!

I met up with the girls, Fairytale Blond, Double B and Mel on Boxing day.

This was after I had bumped into one of my good friends Jenna at the bar in Ego. I don’t know what happened? But I’m waiting to buy my drink. I’m stood there with my card out and a smile. Jenna rocks up to wish me a ‘Hiya’ and a ‘Merry Boxing Day’ (as I was about to do late lunch with my Mum, Dad and Brother) and as we got chatting, a guy to our left.. in a flat cap stated he would’ve bought my drink for me…THEN the guy to the right of me…DID! I know? How bizarre? He just said I looked really ‘patient,’ and wanted to buy me my drink? I’m the luckiest little shit! Little ‘Patient face’ Me! 😉

Me: ‘How did that happen? What’s gone on?’

Jenna: ‘It’s just Wunna innit. It’s just you. He bought you a drink and then lovingly went back to his wife. Lol. I’m meeting up with Danielle later..’

After the loveliest dinner with my family…(I ate crazy carbs, I never eat crazy carbs,) I tinkered my little self to The Carleton to meet the girls, where we popped open Prosecco bottles, drank fruity  gin, shared *clinks* and told stories to each other that would burn your unholy ears, as fairy lights surrounded us and post Christmas bustle *busied* its way through the crowds.

I love the girls. They’re great. But as always…it got messy. They told me that we were DEFINITELY not going into town.

THEY LIED!

Fairytale: ‘We’re off into town!’

We ended up in town…and I hate going out around Pontefract! I always try and sneak off. Lol. But I didn’t, this time. I’m SO GLAD that I had those ‘earlier carbs.’ I did shots, like I was 20. (What am I even doing? I hate shooting anything. ;))

Drinks were guzzled. Dance floors were shimmied upon. Fairytale got brassy. (I love drunk Fairytale. She is the  most innocent one out of the group, but give that girl a prosecco and she is  SASSERILLA!  Mel might have fallen over on the dance floor in a beautiful beige faux fur…She kinda popped back up, with her hands in the air with an ..

‘I’m alright! I’m up. I’m alright!’

…and Double B, who was my Team Companion for the evening, kept trying to BEG ME to stay out to the crack of dawn, whilst telling me she loves me and squeezing into my loo.

Double B: ‘Staay out!’

Me: ‘NO. I’M 37. I’M GOING HOME!’

Double B: ‘Well if you’re going home. I’m going home!’

Me: ‘GOOD!!’

Double B: ‘I don’t wanna go home!! Staaaaaaay OUT!’

Me: ‘GET LOST.’

Anyway, we drank at the Green Dragon, we danced in The Malt Shovel…We ginned it up at Tap & Barrel…We even wiggled around the Barley Mow for a bit.

Me: ‘Why is everyone old in here?’

Double B: ‘You’re not even the oldest one! Guess how old she is?’

Me: ‘Why do you always play the Guess How Old I Am Game???’

We even bumped into one of my old friends Benny P. He’s straight, but like you’re ‘Gay Best Friend.’

Benny P: ‘I’ll go to Biggies, if you’re going..’

Me: ‘I’m not going….’

Benny P: ‘I’m off home then…’

Then Gary’s Mel called ‘Fairytale.’ Prince Jonathan…Fairytale’s Boyfriend, showed up at the pub, AFTER a call…and I looked down at my phone..ofcourse hours later… and Gangsta J (Double B’s boyfriend) had Facebook called ME!

You know you’re all in trouble when that happens. Lol

But it was such a great night. We all just had a final 2017 blow out

The taxi home cost a flipping BOMB and Double B made the executive decision to start pretend fights with everyone in the queue…before buying chips.

Me: ‘Stop shouting things at them…cos you’ll get away with it, but they’ll turn around and have a go AT ME! Lol!’

*REWIND*

Earlier in the night, we had sang our personal rendition of the beautiful song..

‘Move Bitch Get Out The Way’

…on the patio at The Carleton, for the night stars to enjoy.

It really was a treat. There are certainly Grammy Awards in our future. I should’ve plonked a stiletto out on the floor in front of us, for tips.

We were lost in a world of girl!

Such a fun night.

HOWEVER NOW….that’s it. I’m done. Party season is OVER. The corks are back in the wine bottles.

*Cheeky Sip. Cheeky Sip. Wedges Cork BACK IN*

The tinsel has been bundled away until next time.

And being a kitten who DOES NOT DO ANYTHING for New Years Eve…(People are always astounded by that, as i’m obviously meant to be one to be waving the flag of ‘party’ like a hooligan in heels and diamonds.) But i’m not. I can’t be bothered.

If you are out…I KNOW that you’ll have an AMAZING TIME. It’ll be fun! Many moons ago, in LA, where I did my 20’s…I rolled into some New Year? I can’t remember which year I rolled into? But it was at 10am on Jan 1st, in a taxi, with my then roommate Justin, with some pornstar in the back, that he had found and utterly fancied. They did actually date for a while. (We were both even in sunglasses because it was SUCH A BRIGHT Hollywood morning. )

At that point, I decided that I would never EVER rock into a fresh new year…UNFRESH.

I don’t mind a few drinks at home with friends, or AT friends, or with family and spirit. I’m fun. I love celebrating.

But for me…the clock strikes twelve and I will sail freshly and peacefully into 2018, like some kind of  Oriental Goddess. (Something like that anyway? You get the picture!)

I’ve had a great year and i’m gonna take you back through it soon. I kinda like staying in the present, as you just don’t know what lies ahead and the past is just a chipper memory now. If you stay in the moment and enjoy it, you’ll always be happy. We still have a few days left of 2017. Don’t let life slip through your fingers. You’re a long time gone. Enjoy it!

Love! Live! Celebrate Being You! It’s the only thing you can do BETTER than anyone else!

I have an exciting 2018. Everything’s NEW. Everything’s Snazzy. I have everything crossed!

You are going to be shocked!

Thank you for all the love you’ve been giving me. I adore it, with every inch of kitten soul! Thank you!

I’m getting a ton of messages from people who are wanting to meet me, or be part of the blog.

I will tell you that I have a TON of ‘Meet & Greets’ next year, where you will have the opportunity to ‘selfie take’ and embrace a bit of Wunna Land. And yes, you will also have the opportunity to be part of the blog and come play ‘Diaries’ with me.

The best chick that i’ve met recently, was a girl by a bubble gum machine in Doncaster, who not only had a huge stem of brussel sprouts sticking out of her posh handbag, but also asked me for change to buy sweets. Lol. She wasn’t a child. She wouldn’t tell me her name. She was a grown up and hilarious. A bit odd. But I do like the odd ones, don’t I. 😉 She was SO odd, that my Mother became a little alarmed, SO ALARMED that she followed me for the next 40 steps, incase I got GOT, my a lady with brussel sprouts. Lol. (Mums eh!)

I look forward to seeing you all.

All the loves….

Chrissie x

Thank you for following my life!!

Life, Corners & The Shizzles

So, i walked part the way home with Mel last night, as the work day had come to a ‘time out,’ before she strutted off to the right, in her red coat and heels and I tottered over to the left to be driven through West Yorkshire fields by a driver with scars on his neck. Drivers like to tell me everything. I once had one pull up for ages, at six o clock in the morning, as I was waiting for Take Me Out Nick to hurry up of of his house for a meeting. He told me his entire life story and how his love life was awful because his girlfriend had run off with another man…who was..

…’obviously a druggie because he had no teeth. CHRISSIE! He had no teeth! I let this guy into my own house because I trusted them both!’

I love it when people open up to me about their own life stories because at the end of the day, that’s all we have. Pay attention to what makes you happy and GO FOR IT. Live it. Love it. Make your story worth a read!

I love my Thursday night chatters with Mel, as I’ll work later and listen to her magical updates of her ‘swirl.’ Remember that Mel (who is in her 40’s…She’s  hot, sassy 40 something though) was single for 3 years. THREE WHOLE YEARS. She got on with it, adapted, was happy, yet was edged over in cynicism and mild grumpiness. But she had thought that that was it…That she would probably never find her real ‘swirl.’ YET, Cupid cut her some fucking slack and OUT of nowhere *BOOM* out pops ‘Her Gary’ with tulips and carpets in his hands, telling her that he loves her, wants her and commits to her fully…which turned her world around.

‘Honestly, Chrissie! I never ever thought this would happen to me. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe how happy I feel.’

‘It’s the beam in your eye Mel. Look at you. You’re like a little girl again. I love it. You’re smiling. More than anything it gives me hope…It CAN happen because I’ve watched it with my OWN kitten eyes! 🙂 ‘

So, for those of you who are looking for love, or hoping to find that REAL LOVE. The kinda love that you haven’t just settled for. The love that sends you into a crazy swirl. That Bestfriendy, Sexy, Romantic ‘sweep you off your feet’ magic of an ‘ooh laa.’ That soul mate kind of love that lasts an entire lifetime…and not just a few calendar months or a season. KNOW, that no matter what situation you’re in, right around the corner something magical could stop you in your tracks and send your glittery heart a flutter.

I’m currently feeling a ‘swirl,’ so I’m not really scratching at my head, swearing at Cupid. Yet, throughout my life i’ve wandered around many a corner. Good ones, bad ones and ones that stink of regret. Hahaha! However this corner…that i decided to wander around is…for the first time…in a long time….worth it. This guy has got me BEAMING. An yeah, there are times when ‘swirls’ make you feel all terrified…They do me. I don’t at all mean that preachy. I’m speaking from absolute experience. I get terrified sometimes and i’m ballsy. Yet, that’s not how to live your life the best way you can. Say YES to more things that make you happy, boldly. Embrace the and enjoy them…and have faith that Cupid really isn’t that much of a dick afterall.

But let me rewind…

Not much banter happened all day with my girls. We all got on with life and business…

Double B: ‘What do you fucking me you have no blog fodder. YOU’VE SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY WITH ME!!’

Double B is a sassy, funny, somewhat zany ‘for a bit of look at me’ intelligent, DITZ. What I love about Double B is the fact that yeah she’ll go out of her way to dramatically make people laugh out loud…yet even when she’s going through really stressful times…she’ll express it openly without fear, yet always at the same time make everyone around her smile. She goes out of her way to do that. When people do that…it means big, not so lovely things have happened to them in their lives, that they understand the worth of happiness and making others feel happy.

Anyway, that was a bit full on. We did lunch together. I bought a sandwhich, she had made herself pasta with pine nuts. I know. She’s only 21. I’m watching her grow up before my very eyes. And we chatted shit, as we looked over the town through a giant glass window, at a shabby chic baby blue table, and thought about the future, money and where we’d be at.

Then we took it upon ourselves to go downstairs with cups of tea..

‘Get that door for me Wunna..’

..and make fun of the new addition into our world…again another guy…who HE HIMSELF has been named ‘DIPPER.’

Now ‘Dipper’ dips things. He’ll ‘dip’ anything. He’ll dip her, him, you and whatever we tell him to ‘dip.’ He love’s ‘dipping.’ Dipping is his world. I even ordered cards to prove that he ‘dips’ the region with a smile. We all don’t know ‘Dipper’ too well yet…so stay tuned. But it seems that this character is going to be an interesting find, as he replaces The King Of The North.

Me: ‘HAHAHAH. I CAN’T STOP SAYING DIPPER.’

Anyway, i’ve got to go and get ready for work. The best thing about yesterday morning, was the fact that I had to explain, during a somewhat executive meeting why i had decided to call ‘Lady Shizzle’…well ‘Lady Shizzle’ in the blog. Lol. Lady Shizzle is funny..She’s sweet natured and all for hard work, but a good time. She turned fifty years old in January and loves a good old Wunna Blog read…I didn’t even know what to say…so I just said this..

‘When someone is THE SHIT, it’s good. Kinda like the DOGS BOLLOCKS. A hip hop term for THE SHIT..is THE SHIZZLE…Lol. Which means you’re ACE. The LADY part comes from you being the LADYSHIP!’

What? Lol. What is my life!

Her reply…

‘I love that you said you can’t marry a man without a good penis..’

🙂

 

The Next ‘IT’ Girl & Inspiration

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Well I have certainly noticed that every little girl in a little bit of limelight, or a huge amount of stardust is wanting to be the next UK Girl of ‘IT.’ (And when i say, ‘every little girl,’ i’m referring to those in entertainment, who have maybe shone their bit of ‘look at me,’ been on the telly, wanting their moment of stardom, have been around for ages, or the ones that have just experienced their first five minutes and now want to roll it into a future.)

Of recent, I’ve been invited to blog a lot of events, do lunches, shimmie at celebrity parties etc..where i’ve charmingly chittered to huge amount of glittery people, hung out with a dandy bunch of ‘heels’ and watched everything or nothing taking place, right before my very eyes, be it in public, behind the scenes or in Cyberland. (I watched everything closely. I adore the psychology behind it all. I love studying people and seeing what makes them tick, what their next move is…like a creepy but glamourous stalker Lol…..and like i’m some kind of dodgy Mystic Meg, I predict stuff accurately with a *wiggle,* a *giggle* and a bloody good *wink.*

2017 is the year that everyone shoots for a ‘COMEBACK!’

I’ve heard this phrase been thrown about a lot at events…

‘I want to be the next Kim Kardashian.’

Or

‘ We ARE the answer to the Kardashians.’

And it’s sort of making me smirk a little and I shouldn’t, because gosh, i’ve felt all that before. I get it. But i guess, the problem here is, that there already is a Kim Kardashian and you can’t BE HER EVER. You can only BE YOU. (Hard to hear, I know. But it’s true.) And to top it all off, there is also three more Kardashians and two Jenner’s, who have quite solidly and rather excellently formed some kind of ‘IT’ girl, power house that has taken over the world. It’s amazing. Who WOULDN’T want to be them! Well done! *Applause all round.*

BUT like i said, THEY ARE The Kardashians and you can’t be them. Nor can you be the UK’s answer to them. They ARE ‘THEM.’ And they’ll glitter piss all over you, if you attempt to wangle on their block.

However, i’m not trying to be negative here, as if anything i’m a positive person, a warm hearted being, i’m ambitious, fun loving and someone who enjoys to inspire and be inspired. I’m not one of those ‘tooly’ narky people, who just moan at everything. They’re dicks. But i’m honest and loyal to my honesty. So what i’m trying to say, is that THE ONE AND ONLY THING THAT YOU CAN DO OR BE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE….IS YOU!

Not another single other being on this entire planet can be you, better than you, so do it well. Don’t focus on what other’s are doing or what they’re being, or how they’re looking or what they’re saying. By all means, be inspired by them. Study them. That’s what they’re there for. All great new ideas have usually been formed off the back of someone else’s great idea. Yet remember to concentrate on what YOU’RE doing, what’s great about YOU, as a brand or a person remember what YOU stand for. What YOU celebrate! And when you do that, and you stay focused, you work hard, you be creative with it, and give it your all, your time, your heart, your dedication, but you do it well, you do it smartly. You proactively move towards your goal and you use your flipping brain. If you do all that, I think you’ll find that people may begin to notice…and when they do…YOU SMASH IT!!

Focus on what you do well…and do it!

So yes, Kim K has done really well and that means it CAN BE DONE, so you CAN be the next UK girl of ‘IT.’ You don’t have to BE her, LOOK like her, DO like her…You just be you, as there’s room for everyone, to ‘BOSS IT.’ Some are going to be better than other’s at it. In 2017 EVERYONE’S ATTEMPTING A COMEBACK. (Including myself. But more than anything, career wise…i’m a blogger, a writer..that has turned into this mini sized ‘personality,’ after being on the telly for a bit, being a model for a bit and  designing a sex toy range for Ann Summers…a bit. But i did it all well. I like to think that i made ‘impact’ because you an do a lot of things and have no one notice. Lol)

But back to his ‘IT’ girl malarky, like i said, when Kim wanted to be the next Girl of ‘IT’ she was watching the likes of Hilton, who had the world eating out of her hand. She knew her personally and had done for years, even went to school with her and she was nothing like Paris, yet had the same ambition.

Obviously I know Paris well, I am a product of her UK TV show, I spent a lot of time with her, when she was at her PEAK and that was during filming and after the show had ended. ( I have a lot to be thankful for, to the producers and casting at ITv2 for putting me on that show. It put wind under my sails and i am a massive Hilton fan, as i’ve never watched a girl work harder.)  But yes, both of those chicks, utterly different, yet both absolute ‘BOSSES’ of ambition.

So with the right ingredients, determination and the correct people on your side…you can do it too. (Something tells me that Hilton is about to sly on in and snatch back her crown from Kim K. Lol I can see it.)

Anyway, away from that….today I was utterly inspired. Right, I drive. But i have this driver, this taxi guy who I always use when i need to go to an event, i need a last minute glammy run or just a driver that I can trust. Today, I called upon him to ride ‘Baby Junior and I’ to Toys R Us in Doncaster. (Important Event.) I don’t know why i called him for a lift, but I did and it seems as though whenever i need a pep talk, because all yesterday I was getting stressed, ‘The Gods’ up above send me ‘Rob The Driver.’ He’s like a weird Guardian Angel.

I get in, we start talking, I ask him about his world, we have a giggle, Junior asks for the tunes cranked up and Rob then shoots in and asks me about my world. We talk life, love, work and dating. Now, Rob’s seen through the years, driven the car with different male faces in the back, over the years, rode me to events, piked me up from them and heard all the gossip and well…he’s in good stead to deliver advice, without me asking, into Wunna land.

And to cut a long story short…after he had told me that I needed to date someone as ‘busy and ambitious’ as I was, who had similar goals, as no one else would do, as they would either be suffocating, not part of my ‘team,’ or just not get it.

‘Not to be funny Chrissie. But if i wasn’t to know you and was to see you in a bar, i wouldn’t DARE come up to you and ask you out. You don’t see it, but i do. You have a way of making a guy feel less masculine without you even knowing. That’s why you need to date someone who is ballsy, confident, doing well, has his own life going down and is on a similar path. Someone that you can look up too and think WOW! However that will just come.’

Like I said, i’m never too stressed out by my love life. It’ll all work out in the end. He’ll find me. He’ll pursue me. He’ll win me, f that’s the way it goes. Sorted. Fairytale box *ticked.* I mean Cinderella lost her goddamn shoe at an event ‘cos she was PISSED, not late for the carriage. It was Prince Charming who did all the leg work and found her, to make him hers. 🙂

But MORE IMPORTANTLY…

Rob ‘The Driver’ said this one thing, before Baby Junior and I left his car to wipe Toy R Us out, whilst everything was on sale…and that was this…

‘I have always said no one I know works as hard as you Chrissie and you’ve just got this aura about you. You were built for this. No matter where you are, people know YOU’RE THERE!! Whether you win, whether you lose…People know you are there and that’s something that can’t be bought! So look, you’re OVER HALFWAY to the finish line now….This year, you just need to go for it.’

And with a smile, a nod and this whole warm feeling of absolute inspiration that rose all the way through my soul, to make me beam, I waved him ‘goodbye,’ grabbed by little son (Junior has my exact face and it freaks me out completely) and as I swung Rob’s door shut, I knew great things were coming…

 

 

 

 

My Birthday Shimmie To Manchester

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Woke up on December 20th at 6.08am, completely naked, on top of the sheets, half my face on and my GIANT, glammy hair piece still ON MY HEAD in full glory, like it was some kinda of BIRTHDAY crown. I was in Room 825 (really nice room) of the Macdonald Manchester Hotel and Spa. I had just turned THIRTY SIX the day before and I chose to do it with good friends Big Brother Star Lisa Appleton and Celebrity Blogger, Ryan Mira, in Manchester. I had a train to catch, that would get me back to Leeds, well Pontefract at 6.57am. I had work at 8.45am and had to get there on time. I did it! But Lord knows how???  Infact, i will ALWAYS MAKE WORK, no matter how! My tummy felt like i hadn’t eaten in ages, so i did a mini (and somewhat glamourous puke) on the hotel bed (so sorry)…and then just like that, got up, got ready, got to Piccadilly train station and got on my flipping train….COMPLETELY ON TIME! In my mind, if you’re gonna *juggle* things, than you better *juggle* them well, without letting anyone down and most importantly … yourself. I smashed it! *Wiggle…Wink.*

But let’s rewind to the day before…

I had spent the entire day with my babies Ruby and Junior, doing lunch with my family…My Mum, Dad &Brother at Ego, In Ackworth. We had so much fun, that time flew and before you know it, I was rushing home to pack a bag, in a panic and getting dashed off and dropped at Barnsely train station (as it was the only station to get me to Manchester on time) in literally moments.

Boom! On a train. The 17.00 to Manchester, a bit flustered, excited for my birthday evening, ready to check into the hotel and then rush into a taxi, to go meet Lisa and Ryan at Menagerie for my birthday.

Once I hit Manchester, I had about 20 minutes to get ready and be at the joint. (I was there early. 😉  The trainee hotel ‘check in’ girl laughed as I dashed past her with a ‘She’s just checked in, in jeans and a jumper and in about a minute, she’s ready and shooting out the door dressed like Pussycat Doll.’

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I’ll fast forward, so i don’t bore you.

But i got to Menagerie, Lisa and Ryan arrived 10 minutes after me. I had called them to see how far they were, then..

*Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/* …

…as photographers basically took our picture, as we tottered into the new place. It was quiet because it was Monday. But it was my birthday and all three of us are of a drunky, fun, nature, so we didn’t even care! Within seconds we had the most delicious Pornstar Martini’s in our hands and we’re chatting away about, life, career, love, what we hoped and where we hoped, in the most glamourous location every. We even had a Kardashian conversation, which led to Ryan teaching me what a dirty ‘Jimmy Choo’ was. Lol.

‘I’m gonna call it that ALL the time now!’ Lol.

‘But she did Chrissie. She *Jimmy Chooed* him ans leaked it everywhere!’

Menagerie is utterly creative, decadent, modern, with an almost sexy twist of burlesque. It’s very current. But there’s lots going on…like champagne poured from chandeliers, dancers dangling and spinning in hoops above your table, cocktails that you share in giant swans for £100 or single drinks with fake £20 notes, burning from them. It’s very clever. Everything is presented well. Everything’s very bouji and unique. Everything in that place is ‘rich,’…and it costs.

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Anyway, we a needed air, we needed a moment. We’d laughed, gossiped, they gave me a bath bomb (that i’ve lost!! I think i left it in a bar on Canal Street??) Ryan’s shot outside already and Lisa and I are stood at the entrance Menagerie.

Couldn’t open the door for shit! It was LOCKED. Like it really was. We couldn’t move it, we were stuck and we’re sort of just looking around, trapped in this little entrance way, puzzled and laughing. Then Lisa decides to ‘hit’ a button on the side, next to the door. Y’know how some places have a ‘Press to Exit’ button, to make the door slowly ease open.

SHE HITS THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM. Hahahaha!

It’s my birthday, we’re still trapped in the entrance way, an alarm is now going off, we’re pissing ourselves laughing, the manager on duty looked all fed up with us, so we stopped laughing, so he didn’t get more annoyed. He began opening up a large doorway box and pressing all the buttons in all the land, to stop the alarm…and then this host girl walks up to the door… and just opens it. Lol. SO we weren’t even stuck. 🙂 Oops!

We were glad to get outside though, especially after Pornstar Martini’s  and were determined to enjoy my birthday night, as we swung around trees, piggy backed each other, kissed giant Polar Bears, seductively chatted up bollards and measured boobie sizes. Ryan got really into it also…As Lisa and I literally danced around a car park, HE found a ‘Santa Stop Here’ sign, started pretend hitting Lisa with it, but then dashed behind her and unzipped the back of her PVC skirt…. (In that moment, out of nowhere *Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/*)

Anyway, we decide to go back inside for food and more cocktails. Ryan’s now flirting with an Australian Waiter, with a Doctor Boyfriend, we’re telling everyone to come out with us and following them on Twitter (you always do that when you’re pissed don’t you. Lol.) I hadn’t eaten all evening, so i was feeling MERRY, looking great, sprinkled in ‘SEXY’ and then Lisa and I started talking about love, our lives, how we’re both single, good friends and then our careers. (I always say that I have it easy, as my life is an open book, you just have to Google it, open up a blog and read on…What you read is what I am…It’s my life…and you get a good grasp of who I am from it. There’s less guessing.)

And you know, away from what people THINK they may know of Lisa, if you were to know her and meet her in the flesh, she’s literally beautiful, the funniest, most genuine, down to earth, chick you’ll ever meet. But she’s ambitious and hard working. Yes, she’s an entertainer…as am I. Yet she’s been through her fair share of hard times…and you know what, after speaking to her so closely sat down with cocktails, in the middle of mood lighting and Menagerie…She deserves her moment. We gossiped about everything frankly. All the secrets in all the land.  She wants to do well…and is.

Then I had to tell her off with an..

‘EWW NO! YOU CAN’T FANCY HAIRY MEN! I HATE THAT! IT’S GROSS!’ (This was after the waiter was referred to as ‘Pretty.’)

Now, i don’t mind a GQ gent. A pretty one. Or one that has his own creative take on style. I love it. My favourite type of guy, is a guy with a great mind, intelligent, funny, fun, thoughtful, sexy and ambitious. I don’t focus on looks a much as people may think. I love eye candy, don’t get me wrong, but i’m mostly mentally and emotionally stimulated. But ofcourse, I love to feel attracted to a guy. YET Lisa loves a ‘mans, mans.’ A big rugged, muscle bound hero. Hairy even!!! Lol. I DON’T LIKE HAIRY. And i know you can’t help it. But i can’t help being a tool also, so there. 🙂

So we’re pissing ourselves laughing with Ryan, as we’re sat in a GIANT GLAMOUROUS BIRDCAGE, that has feathers entwined in it and pretend birds flying out of it, opposite a wall that has a giant electronic ‘Selfie Magic Mirror’ and a pink neon sign that says something like ‘Trade your wings in for mine.’ We’re eating olives and sipping ‘Pornstars’ and Lisa and I are actually having a conversation about porn and how it’s ruined some peoples sex lives.

Now i’m vocal in the bedroom, i’m a senusual person and well i’m not screamy, but a ‘show man’ Lol. However, Lisa says we (as in girls) get the best orgasms when we’re quiet and stay really still… and she’s right. I mean porn has made boys and men think that girls ‘get off’ by doing slutty ‘ooh’ faces at them and voicing champion ‘screeches.’ Lol. We don’t. 🙂

Wait, I’m getting distracted. 😉

We’re in Menagerie, the mood lighting is all pink, purple and dark, with bright white furniture in our booth and we’re now pissed and celebrating my birthday.

Ryan’s now thinking about Canal street, after flirting with the hot waiter. Lisa’s determined to get on with my birthday celebrations and i’m ‘Pornstar Martini’ delighted. Don’t get me wrong, things were beautiful in Menagerie, but when you’re sat in one place for ages, and you’re ‘firecrackers’ like the three of us are…it can kinda make a place feel ‘flat.’ So i simply turned my little kitten head to them, whilst sat in a bloody feathered birdcage (lol) and said,

‘Let’s fuck it off and go to canal street.’  (I am the Queen)

There was glint in our eye, laughter and we left.

As we left…and we’re NOW DRUNKIES.

*Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap*

Yet, we’re loving it now, playing up to it, picking each other up, posing, pouting, swearing, dancing. We didn’t even care! We were on birthday mode, doing Manchester, boobies under the stars and GOING FOR IT! If i’m turning thirty six, i’m lucky to be well, alive and still be able to love life!

It was like we almost *blinked* and BOOM, we were on the cobbles of Canal street…and this is when the fun happened!

Straight away, dancing under lights, posing and selfie taking with red sequinned, drag queens,bumping into other Big Brother stars, letting a Drag queen, dressed in a Sexy Santa Suit, be a DIVA  at us because she didn’t have time for our shit. Lol.

We’ve gone for it now and ended up at some bar called Churchills, because they offered us free wine (lol) and before you know it, they’re calling us on stage to sing karaoke and I feel like i sort of just blinked with my boobies and i’m stood on a stage with Lisa, as Ryan is filming it, with a microphone in my hand, SINGING ‘Wannabe’ by the fucking Spice girls, for an audience. LOL.

Honestly, we were shite. But oh my God, we gave it some welly. They loved us. Everyone was videoing and camera phoning the moment. We even got called ‘Iconic.’ HAHAHAHA. But let me tell you, being a Spice Girl is EXHAUSTING. How the HELL Mel B got through that rap section sober, I don’t know? (I was totally Mel B. 🙂 )

We get off the stage. We’re wanting wine, everyone else is wanting selfies. We’re loving it though, as we now have birthday fever. Girls and guys kept calling me ‘beautiful’ and ‘a Queen’ and when you’re dead old, you kinda adore it, don’t you. 🙂 Hahaha! It makes you feel good.

Then a group of straight boys come in. It’s now quite late and Ryan and Lisa have to head home to get the last train. I DECIDE TO STAY OUT. So, i’m now on my own, with the masses, in this bar on Canal Street, guzzling buckets of wine, with a ton of people now asking for selfies and the ‘straight ‘ boys head straight over and begin to DANCE OFF, HIT ON ME, in order to win my ‘only girl straight girl in the bar’ affection. It got so crazy that the manager had to keep pulling me out the way, or pulling them off me.

I then started having a conversation with a girl, as one guy is trying to flirt with me, by sexy dancing to Nelly and lifting up his top …and out of nowhere this other guy, darted in and started butting the ‘Nelly Dancing Guy’ out of the way to make HIS move. He was literally standing right infront of my face and giving me the ‘come ons.’ The manager (who was in a cowboy hat Lol…pulled me away again.)

I’m pissed by now, so i’m just tottering around smiling and selfie taking with those who adore Wunna land! (I followed you on Twitter Mickey Daniels! 🙂 )

Then it all just went mental!

The straight boys are now really drunk and now forcing themselves into Wunna land. A girl starts chatting to me and tells one of the boys, who’s asking me out that..

‘We’re together. She’s with me.’ 

He dances off somewhere and she turns around and says,

‘You’re too good for him.’ 

He dances his way back and then JESUS CHRIST, OUT OF NOWHERE, some other straight guy, that wasn’t even playing ‘Love Wunna,’ comes up behind him and fricking HITS HIM IN THE FACE and SMASHES A FUCKING BOTTLE OVER HIS HEAD.

Screaming happens, everything’s gone mental. He’s dragged him outside to beat him up. The girl that was ‘saving’ me from men, turns around and smashes my wine bottle on the BAR SIDE to go out and join the fight.

I’m out the way at this point, as i’ve been pushed to one side and sheltered.

THE POLICE CAME and Churchills (the bar) gets shut down for the rest of the evening,

What the absolute fuck!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED???

The cowboy dressed manager, (who was also once on Big Brother) walks up to me, makes sure i’m alright and says,

‘God! Lol! What a storm. We shouldn’t have let them in really, but we did. We’ve had to close now, as the police are here and let me tell you, THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED, IN THE HISTORY OF ME WORKING HERE.’

Then she walked me out, to another bar. Just so i’d get there safely. Lol. Yet after a drink, I left and got in a taxi. It was just too strange and a guy in a Pokeman shirt was dancing around me. He as with his Ozzie best friend, who kept telling me that she had a boyfriend, but wouldn’t say no to trying out a relationship with a girl.  Lol. They were actually lovely. So i really shouldn’t make fun of them. But i was tired now and i’d stopped having fun now, so i lied and said i needed the loo…and left them.

Got to my hotel…wiped half my face off, stripped off totally starkers, put my phone on charge, set it for five o clock in the morning, (It was 3 o clock in the morning,) and CRASHED in what felt like the comfiest bed known to mankind, in Room 825 at the Macdonald Manchester Hotel.

Missed my alarm. Shocked myself up, after feeling sick at 6.08am. 

That’s how i sailed into Tuesday. I fell asleep on my train and again just at the right time, *shocked* myself up, at the exact right station, just as people were getting off at Leeds. Missed my connection though, so I ended up in a taxi to the office.

Made it to work, bang on time, in Pontefract. Had no clue what time it was really? But ran up to the office door, with all my stay over bags, over my shoulders. I swung open the door a jar and ‘The Mighty’ looked me right in the eyes, smirked (like she had ‘been there’ herself) and in a stern, commanding, yet friendly manner, she simply says…

‘GO TO GREGGS NOW AND GET YOURSELF A COFFEE…..’

 

Lisa Appleton flashes her bum as the zip breaks on her skin tight PVC skirt

 

 

 

 

 

Motivation, Drive & Sambuca Shots

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Made phone calls from my Manchester hotel suite, on the upper level on my room, naked, yet cuddled up in thick white duvets and surrounded by burnt orange cushions and brick walling, over looking a wooden spiral staircase. Set my phone alarm to ‘early o clock,’ tried to keep quiet as that annoying drunk guy was in the suite next door. I only knew that because he was boasting about how he was in one of the BEST SUITES of the hotel, on the BEST FLOOR. I said nothing, but i was in the one next door. (So there you go ‘Pimp Daddio.’ Wunna land rocks.)

I wouldn’t have really minded him if he wasn’t such a douche. I mean, i’m the most friendly human. I’ll chat. And he was someone who although insecure, did actually want to achieve.

‘I want to own Manchester. But do it the dodgy way!’ (I don’t know what that means?)

However, i do know that you don’t EVER poor your sambuca shot in my cocktail. HAHAH. I’m still not over that yet, am I? Based on that and the the array of bad manners  displayed…I stiletto’d away from his life path, making sure that it didn’t entangle with mine. I must have taken a wrong turn. I could swear it was the roof terrace bar?)

But yes, a guy who wanted to succeed and i know all about drive and ambition and the will to want to succeed. It glitters through my system like gold. I’m a grafter, delicately whirled in eyes from the orient, heels and a sparkly wink. I’ve  experienced and achieved SO much, i’ve lived, loved, worked with some GREATS, been homeless, had richer than riches and been dead normal. I’ve done all paths. I’m a single mum of two and i work every hour that I can, whilst keeping a happy home and slamming money in that bank account and whilst making a name for myself and accidentally building an empire.  Hollywood. I lived in the hardest city to survive in for ‘want’ and i graduated it, on my level, with flying colours,  a few bits of heart break and the best Tequila dance moves. So i might look like some dizzy little girl sat at a bar with her pink french martini…but that dizzy little girl is thirty five and she has LIVED and is about to go for it mega time.

I listened to him talk all about ‘want’ for a good 20 minutes and it was in that 20 minutes that I saw him. He was young and he was naive and had not one inch of ‘umph’ that i think people need in order to succeed and only because of his lack of ‘brain using.’ He reeled it off like a spiel from a movie, like he didn’t even know what he was saying. He was a 20 year old boy that needed someone to tell him that he could do it, if he tried. He needed to feel of worth. And although i think he’s a drunky douche, I hope i bump into him 7 years from now and see how greatly he’s developed as a human. If i don’t…I wouldn’t be too bothered. 🙂 Don’t pour sambuca into my cocktail.

As if i’ve got that distracted.

Woke up at the crack of dawn, got ready in a jiffy, sort of missed home in a weird way and jumped into a cab (when it still looked like night time) at around six o clock in the morning. I found a good luck charm in my handbag that Ruby (my biggest) had made me for good luck. It was meant to be Rudolph but his nose had fallen off. I loved ever inch of it and held it all the way to Piccadilly.

The awesome thing about that time was the simple fact that the train station was filled with grafters. People who had been up since five o clock in the morning, to travel to work on time. Busy people. Calm people. Stressed people. All tottering around, almost peacefully as the morning skies were still dark. These were the money makers. One with a laptop, another who worked at a store, another who said she was a cleaner….all on their own line of graft. I kinda felt comfortable,

Got on my train, was messaging with ‘Eton Mess’ or the majority of the time that I  traveled back to Pontefract. I got there in a jiffy, stepped out of my ‘at the other end’ cab, it was now a bright, crisp Friday morning…and as i was greeted by a colleague, who as walking up just at the same time, i headed straight back into work….early! 🙂

The weekend with the children has been nothing short of AMAZING. I had them both in my bed Friday night and as I went to sleep with Juniors head wedged onto my shoulder…i kinda just felt WHOLE, like they were the only things that mattered to me, in this entire world. I’m really lucky.

My path is fun and positive and so well balanced these days that it makes me as a human feel radiant, bubbling with love and understanding. I ‘want’ but i still know what matters and well let me tell you,  you can really do both. You can do ANYTHING and the people that love you, will support you through it, taking away drama and not adding stress. They’ll wait for you until the end of the earth and back, to make sure that you get to where you want to be.

Everyone thinks that because i’m single and I always have a shitty love life  and i’ve been married and divorced a jolly bunch of times and I’ve maybe picked not so ideal partners in my past, that I may know what love is. But I DO. I know exactly what i want. I’m not that silly. After years of selling myself short, I’m in a place now, where i can sort of ‘hold out’ for the one. I feel loved. I experience it every single day with my babies and even though people claim it’s not, to me it’s the same kind of feeling as having a partner…as whoever i end up with, will become part of my family, or we will become part of his.

The reason why i told you the story of the drunk guy, wasn’t to make him sound like a douche. (Even though that night he was one.) It was to let you know that no matter where you are in your own version of life right now, anything can happen. If you feel the same as that guy, know that the less you chat and the more you place things in line, to get where you want to be, the more you will benefit. I was tired of hearing ‘my Mum owns this../my Aunty owns that.’ What about you? What do you do? What do you want?

I don’t come from a bad to do family…they’ve done pretty goddamn well. But i was the kid who broke away from the comfort of it all to seek my own adventure…and now i write it out for you daily…and it seems that it’s going to serve me well. 😉